SURGE PROTECTOR  4:22 pm February 7, 2012

U.S. Scaling Down To Just 8,000 ‘Diplomats’ In Iraq Forever

by Wonkette Jr.

One reason Americans were denied the cleansing vision of the last U.S. diplomats fleeing Baghdad by helicopter is because, haha, we sort of left the diplomats there — all 16,000 State Department personnel and military contractors and poorly disguised CIA torture spies and oil company representatives. But now, with “hard times” or whatever the current phrase to explain why the superbillionaires have whatever they want and even the American Empire must scale back, due to lack of money, Washington is planning to cut the staff and contractors in Iraq by half.

The New York Times reports:

BAGHDAD — Less than two months after American troops left, the State Department is preparing to slash by as much as half the enormous diplomatic presence it had planned for Iraq, a sharp sign of declining American influence in the country.

Officials in Baghdad and Washington said that Ambassador James F. Jeffrey and other senior State Department officials are reconsidering the size and scope of the embassy, where the staff has swelled to nearly 16,000 people, mostly contractors.

But we just finished the $750 million U.S. Embassy! It’ll probably cost at least twice that much to reduce its size. [New York Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 54 comments }

Dashboard Buddha February 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Diplomacy is the art to telling someone to go to Iraq in such a way they look forward to the trip.

LettucePrey February 7, 2012 at 4:32 pm
DaRooster February 7, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Fuck :(

Monsieur_Grumpe February 7, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Probably from Donald Rumsfeld, a man of few words.

outragedcitizen February 8, 2012 at 2:27 pm

… a man of few intelligent words. There, fixed.

Schmannnity February 7, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Maybe we could sublease some space to Iran.

DaRooster February 7, 2012 at 4:33 pm

We need to tax the middle class some more and keep the hired killers diplomats there.

weej_bain February 7, 2012 at 4:34 pm

What the Halliburton is going on?

smokefilledroommate February 7, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I wish they'd get to the KBR of the problem.

not that Dewey February 8, 2012 at 12:00 am

Xe whiz! Can't you do any better than that?

BearNoLike February 8, 2012 at 12:49 am

You guys, always droning on about it

HempDogbane February 7, 2012 at 4:35 pm

They have to rest up for the re-posting to Iran, after the cakewalk.

actor212 February 7, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Two words, officer Riggs: "Diplomatic Immunity!"

MosesInvests February 7, 2012 at 5:10 pm

…has just been revoked!

Crank_Tango February 7, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I'm gettin too old for this shit.

edgydrifter February 7, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I imagine lonely junior State Dept. staffers, their footsteps echoing off the dusty tiles of empty hallways, searching in vain for an ass-crack to drink vodka out of.

Callyson February 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Mission Make This Go Away.

chascates February 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Diplomacy? We use diplomacy with Iraq? And they STILL haven't thanked George W. Bush for liberating them!

beavertank February 7, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Fully armed drone diplomacy.

The modern equivalent to a gunboat.

Data Exactly February 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm

"we sort of left the diplomats there — all 16,000 State Department personnel and military contractors and poorly disguised CIA torture spies and oil company representatives."

I'm thinking ….. ROAD TRIP!!!!

memzilla February 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"8,000 diplomats." What a quaint way to describe CIA operatives and Blackwater/Xe contractors.

All the diplomats I know carry automatic weapons, right?

Swampgas_Man February 7, 2012 at 6:31 pm

If they don't, they should. Nobody looks cooler than a "negotiator" w/ a semi-automatic.

AlterNewt February 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

This is good news for nobody in particular.

chicken_thief February 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Obummer the jerb killer doing what he does best, but now, internationally.

chicken_thief February 7, 2012 at 4:47 pm

'Scuse me, I have to check my Facebook status updates because I don't think Bible Spice is going to like this. Not one bit.

easytheresport February 7, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Cant they just leave an extra 5,000 there so they can apply for statehood?

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 4:50 pm

"the staff has swelled to nearly 16,000 people, mostly contractors"

Uh, Times, the correct word is mercenaries. That's mercenaries.

SayItWithWookies February 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Only 8,000 diplomats?! Hell, why don't we just go find a Muslim and hand him the keys to the Caliphate already?

GOPCrusher February 7, 2012 at 5:11 pm

At least they don't call them "advisers", because that could stir up some bad memories.

Dudleydidwrong February 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Just think of 8000 diplomats sitting around, wearing their striped pants or panties and wondering what the fuck they are going to do now that they've gotten tired of playing solitaire on their government-issued computers. As soon as the shit starts flying around again, they'll never get out of that compound to go shopping on Rashid Street. Then the helicopters will remove them via the roof. "Mission Accomplished"

4TheTurnstiles February 7, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Solution: new wars in Syria and Iran to be the bread of the Peace-in-Iraq-Spreading-Democracy Sandwich

pinkocommi February 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm

" reconsidering the size and scope of the embassy, where the staff has swelled to nearly 16,000 people, mostly contractors"

How many contractors does one really need to take all the Iraqi oil?

SoBeach February 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm

All that massive embassy (heck, that whole country) was ever meant to be was a staging area for toppling other nearby countries. Who could have imagined that wouldn't work out?

FlownOver February 7, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Maybe it's a sharp sign of who gives a fuck. Iraq is the official Ugg boots of foreign relations.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 7, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I think this works out to two or three American diplomats for each and every Iraqi government official. That's what I call being helpful.

RedneckMuslin February 7, 2012 at 6:04 pm

I hate being the bad house guest that won't leave.

MinAgain February 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Well, then, that should certainly free up illegal parking for the locals.

BaldarTFlagass February 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm

The reason they are cutting the staff is because they found the WMDs Mark Wahlberg's Iraqi ass-map.

V572 Flambé February 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Used to work with some guys who were doing the design of our glorious embassy in the Baghdad Green Zone, and they were having a hard time getting the cost down below $1 million/desk. Looks like it's going up to 2 mil each, but think of all the storage space they'll have.

Extemporanus February 7, 2012 at 8:00 pm

You know who else was prepared to slash something in half diplomatically?

not that Dewey February 8, 2012 at 12:02 am
Extemporanus February 8, 2012 at 1:09 am

You're not very good with fractions, are you?

not that Dewey February 8, 2012 at 1:54 am

Okay, fine.

Eng Bunker?

GorzoTheMighty February 8, 2012 at 10:18 am

Sudentenland/ Czechoslovakia?

Oblios_Cap February 8, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Obviously a Solomon reference, Bibi.

MinAgain February 8, 2012 at 8:03 pm

The Yalta Conference?

Monsieur_Grumpe February 7, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Time for a SURGE!!!!111!!!

chitrade February 7, 2012 at 8:51 pm

It's not a mater of reducing the size of the embassy. We have to *concentrate* it.

orygoon February 7, 2012 at 11:32 pm

We aren't wanted in Iraq. We don't have people who want to BE in Iraq.

Common sense begins to sink in, just a little, after nine looong years. What a country.

ttommyunger February 7, 2012 at 11:34 pm

I sure wish I could quit you, Sandbox.

ShaveTheWhales February 7, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Approximately 1 of every 300 US residents is a non-military employee of the US Government. Evidently, about 1 of every 1500 residents of Iraq is a diplomatic employee of the US Government.

WTFF?

CapeClod February 8, 2012 at 9:57 am

Apparently we come to the conclusion that we don't need 16,000 people to watch a country fall apart.

elburritodeluxe February 9, 2012 at 4:55 pm

This is going to fucking KILL Iraq's fledgeling 'coke and hookers' industry.

friendlyskies February 13, 2012 at 7:09 pm

They call themselves "private contractors," but if they were real capitalists, they would re-zone half the embassy as a mall, with movie theater, food court, miniature golf, the works. They could bill it as the "Safest family-friendly evening out in Baghdad!" The place would pay for itself.

But, no. That would require "business acumen," "ethical gymnastics," and "moxie," something Mittens or even The Donald could teach them all about – if this year's crop of GOP candidates weren't too chickenshit to do the once mandatory military photo op.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: