The despised liberal 9th Circuit federal appeals court, which Newt Gingrich has pledged to pipe-bomb on his first day as president, ruled today that California’s Proposition 8, a law in which a bunch of out-of-state Mormons took away marriages from same-sex married couples, is unconstitutional. This upheld the original ruling by district court Judge Vaughn Walker. Now it’s almost certain that the fate of gay marriage in the United States will go to the Supreme Court and be determined by Anthony Kennedy, after he determines the fate of health care in the United States.
Just check out how liberal this 9th Circuit judge was!
“Although the Constitution permits communities to enact most laws they believe to be desirable, it requires that there be at least a legitimate reason for the passage of a law that treats different people differently,” Judge Stephen Reinhardt wrote in the decision. “There was no such reason that Proposition 8 could have been enacted.”
“All that Proposition 8 accomplished was to take away from same sex-couples the right to be granted marriage licenses and thus legally to use the designation ‘marriage,” the judge wrote, adding: “Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gay men and lesbians in California.”
In other analysis, the Washington Post‘s Greg Sargent, who’s always one tax form signature away from being an official Barack Obama campaign spokesperson, somehow spins this as a victory for Obama. We didn’t know this had anything to do with him.
{ 239 comments }
Win-Win Solution:
Allow gay people to marry but after they die the Mormons can perform mystic ceremonies to have those marriages annulled in LDS heaven.
That's the kind of thinking that we need around here. You're definitely management material! Either that, or soylent green fixin's.
I suspect that gay Mormons don't get a planet stocked with young studly-looking cabana boys after they die… what, exactly, are they supposed to do? Does Moroni come along and "cure" the gay Mormon zombies?
(I was hoping to make it GAY MORMON ZOMBIES™, but damned if the Googlez didn't notice someone else being equally perverse.)
Since homosexuality is a mental illness per the LDS guidelines (please don't make me find the citation again . . . ), probably.
You should see what that guy had to say about Propositions 1 through 7!
In fairness, he got slapped in the face by all those women…but when he got to the hot guy on the Castro? Ooolala!
"Propositions 1 through 7" sounds like a Bang Bros. series.
And to celebrate, here in SF it's finally raining. It's raining men, Hallelujah, it's raining men!
But, this being in San Francisco and in celebration of the gay marriage victory, sadly I doubt any of those men would be interested in you.
Nobody's that gay.
Some of those guys might be queer for girls – not that there's anything wrong with that!
True, but after leering at the boys for a bit I can meander down to Valencia and meet a few lesbians. I'm sure I could find one or two that would be interested.
I consider myself to be a lesbian trapped in a man's body.
I'd rather be a man trapped inside a lesbian's body, if she's hot enough.
Monsieur_Grumpe, I've been using that line for years. Great minds think alike, but fools never disagree!
Oh my, I think I need to take a little break again…
Um….I'll be back in a minute.
Dammit, the lacsturbation chamber is already booked!
See? If Rick Perry had just embraced gay marriage instead of praying for rain, Texas' drought would have been over long ago.
Praying away the gay also prays away the rain.
Job creator!!!!
Every time a raindrop falls, a husband gets a second set of balls!
I had brunch at Harvey's, and the whole area was moist with anticipation.
So messy!
I bet the excitement was just bubbling over the tip!
Top. I mean, bubbling over the top.
"Appeals Court Mandates That All Californians Get Gay Married"
After what it cost me to get straight-divorced ain't no way I'm gettin' any kind of married ever again.
After my also straight divorce I swore I was going gay. Didn't take, but I hear you, and second that emotion.
That's why Jesus outlawed straight-divorce in Mark 10:1-12. He didn't say anything about Teh Gheys, 'tho…
The Ninth Circuit courthouse is quite tastefully appointed.
And the judges robes open from the front or back.
I know you are joking, but it actually is. One justice on the 9th calls it "A National Treasure".
The 9th Circuit courthouse in Pasadena is really terrific-they furnished it completely with items from Federal storage houses. The offices on the south side have a view of Catalina on a good day.
"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gay men and lesbians in California.”
Whut? That was the purpose and effect.
Yep — it was a feature, not a bug, as the kids say nowadays.*
(* Well, as far as I know. I'm old and it's hard to keep up with all the lingo.)
Congratulations, Adam and Steve.
Please … Adam and Stephen.
Track lighting for ALL!!!!!!
Please…it's Stefon.
Does this mean Santorum is going to get even worse?
Hopefully, once confined to the marital bed, we won't have to see Santorum in public any more.
Ooooh yeah. This, on top of everything else that's going to hit the neg-ads this years. Considering how excited that freak gets about the gays, I expect him to reach a frothy mixture hitherto unknown!
I firmly believe gays should have the opportunity to be as miserable as the rest of the married folk.
Yeah, fuck you. gays! Take that!
Abortions for some, miniature American flags for all!
And they will. All the way.
Wait till all those newly married gay couples have to write six slightly different thank you notes for the six identical Mr. Coffees they got as wedding presents.
As a str8 Caleeefornyuan..I say goodbye to Prop Hate!
The despised liberal 9th Circuit federal appeals court, which Newt Gingrich has pledged to pipe-bomb.
That's a hell of a double entendre.
There are epic levels of whining coming from Wingnuttistan today.
The schaden, it freudes itself!
;-)
P.S. Yelp Abortionplex Reviews
~
Bully/Victim/Bully/Victim/Bully/Victim…….
Re: Yelp – ahahahahaha.
Now that is funny. Thanks.
Gluten-free fetuses!
Wow. Yelp made my day.
Point of order: Another Newell post missing alt-text. That's half the job, isn't it?
Pointer hovers over pic, yields nothing. You can't explain it.
He's working part-time. For that, you get half a job.
So that's a bl or a ha?
This is part of my charm! Charm, yes…
The posts all have merit, of course. But every time my cursor hovers, I can't help but notice the Hole in my Heart where the Snark Used to Be.
Maybe he forgot how do alt-text, since they don't do that over at Gawker. No, wait. He never did it here either. I'm OK with that, just as long as he waves his magic wand over an occasional Peggy Noonan column.
I miss the Noonington blingee.
Newell was never completely 'wedded' to the idea of alt-text. Sometimes you get one, sometimes you don't.
Snark is like a box of chocolates.
It gets mushy if you leave on the car seat in the sun?
Yes! And then the box is trashed and won't make a good hat for a horse.
I like to think of my snark as being a box of chocolate-covered dog poo…
WEST COAST! WEST COAST!
Your move, Oregon.
Washington is up to bat next. But Oregon's on deck.
It would be really hard to get legislative approval to repeal the 2004 ban (one house is split right down the middle and dems hold a one seat majority in the other) – although there might be some Rs from rich but not socially conservative areas that would support it. There's talk of putting it on the ballot in 2014, but the big advocacy groups didn't push for 2012 based on small sample polling last year. They also already have domestic partnerships, which gets used as a club by the Defense of Marriage idiots to try and claim that this is all part of the gay predatory conspiracy. So Oregon will probably bring up the rear, again. Damn lumberjacks!
Loggers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL7n5mEmXJo
Oh, I had been reading that wrong all along. It's not Position 8? I was still trying to master number 1.
In my next life I want to be a swing judge.
SWING!
I've always had this hankerin' to legislate from the bench. Hoping I could feed the squirrels too. And maybe heckle hot babes.
Heckle? Man, you're doing it wrong.
Oh, catcall. My bad.
I'd rather be a hanging judge.
Well-hanging…
Hey barrister
Hey barrister
Sa-WING barrister
"I want to be a swing judge."
I do enjoy the music; it's just too bad that the black robe covers up your zoot suit.
Yay! Sanity!
Now it's time for the annual clamor for the Federal Constitutional Amendment rebuke from conservatards, who otherwise love states' rights so much they'd gay marry it if possible.
Dear Rick Santorum,
You're welcome.
Hugs,
The Ninth Circuit
At least the straights will still have "Toddlers and Tiaras."
Just not the same without Eden. heh.
This surely marks the end of Traditional Marriage/Divorce, and so on.
"Bout time! I'll let the wife know…."
HUZZAH. Obligatory buttsecks for everyone!
Oh Elvis! I'm kissing you from across the miles!
Squirming around in excrement!
Get a room, you
twothree!Wait until I tell my wife!
Honey, I'm home! Did you hear the news? The Ninth Circuit says "No holes barred when it comes to marriage!"
Whut whut?
Orange County Republicans were actually told that middle school students were going to be forces to try the homo stuff if Prop H8 didn't pass.
Suck it, Mormons! All that money on Prop 8 was obviously wasted. Maybe invest in more magical underwears next time. Or porn.
Mormon porn shows gratuitous hand-holding and cohabitation!
So if Newt gets divorced again, we'll all know who to blame.
Today's to-do list, from My Big Ole Gay Agenda:
1) Ruin third marriage of adulterous egomaniacal porcine GOP clown car driver. √
Good work.
Hoorah! To the moon Elvis! To the moon!
Marcus? No, they can't fit their nether regions together.
They can if you force them. I find a little lube and a ballpeen hammer works.
It helps if you start with a finger. So I've heard.
Who knows, maybe him and Rush will divorce their current trophies, marry each other, and live happily ever after!
Even better, they'd each have to quit public life so they could argue full-time with each other.
A 21 year old intern?
Those rabid NOM wingnuts are already filtering through Washington State, laying the groundwork a similar signature-gathering effort here. The lies and rhetoric are shameful and insidious.
Waste your time and money, h8trs.
nomnomnom.
Yeah, they've discovered (and we can all thank California for this) that disingenuous campaigning works really well in referendums, where people don't have the time or process they do in a legislative setting to at least try and get the facts on the record.
And I'm not even talking about Prop 8. Prop 13 (anti-taxes) set the standard, followed by Uncle Ward Connellys "color-blind" bullshit and various anti-immigrant hatefests. Every one of them was a case study in sleaze and half-truth telling.
Also, too, the text of referendums and initiatives, particularly on this gay marriage issue, become highly confusing. "Wait, I'm voting to NOT repeal something?"
People are dumb. Fact of life.
They showed up in Iowa and spent 10,000 bucks on a special campaign to try to gain a Senate seat. They failed miserably.
But the Council on Families or whatever the fuck they call themselves, have vowed, it doesn't matter if it takes 30 years, they will pass a Constitutional Amendment in Iowa making same sex marriage illegal.
The Supremes will hand down its ruling: “Sure they can get married. They just can’t live together.”
Maybe if they form a corporation …
"Stop, in the name of love….."
Diana Ross, in her dissent, noted…
“Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gay men and lesbians in California.”
I think I just had an orgasm. Yup, definitely an orgasm.
Next time I'm in the Bay area, wanna get gay-married? I just adore the city hall.
Can the rest of us watch?
If you can't tell, ur doin it rong
woman at cocktail party:"I finally had an orgasm, and my doctor said it was the wrong kind"
Alfie Singer:"Really!? That never happened to me. Worst one I had was right on the money"
And here I thought that was just another fracking-induced earthquake in Cantor's district.
See? There are men in California who can find the clitoris.
Goddamn right we can.
What town is that near?
Plug it into your Tom-Tom
Here's what CalTech said about it:
Version #2: This report supersedes any earlier reports of this event. This event has been reviewed by a seismologist (lucky bastard).
An earthquake occurred at 12:31:24 PM (PST) on Tuesday, February 7, 2012.
The magnitude 4.1 event occurred near San Francisco, CA.
The hypocentral depth is 7 inches.
The hypocentral depth is 7 inches
Interesting, I've always preferred girth to depth.
"An earthquake's hypocenter is the position where the strain energy stored in the rock is first released, marking the point where the fault begins to rupture. This occurs at the focal depth below the epicenter."
The focus is on where you feel it. Which is as it should be.
And let us all know if you're going above 4.0 again, sweetie, so we can get under a table next time. Thanks.
Santorum gusher!
*taking notes*
Now…how do you feel about both?
Better watch out or SB is going to start keeping one of his apparently 20 eyes on you!
That wasn't an orgasm, it was an earthquake – cause by God clapping Her hands in approval…
Re the pic, do gay men still dress like they're extras in Saturday Night Fever? None of the gay men I know do that, but here in South Texas they'd be taking their life in their hands if they did so.
In South Texas, the gays dress like extras in Travolta's subsequent nightclubbin' movie, Urban Cowboy.
I thought it was the Rick Perry look.
Well, looks like Newt Gingrich won't be through like Wonkette convinced me of last time. It's stuff like this that keeps Newt in the biz longer…
Well, one more Newt is fat joke, for the road: Newt Gingrich is so fat, when he gains any weight Mt. Everest loses some of it's prominence.
The Supreme Court will certainly approve of gay marriage. After all, 7 of the members are men who wear long dresses to work.
No, just six now; fully 1/3 of the court have vaginas.
…that we know of.
Are you counting Thomas' fleshlight that he keeps under his desk?
And at least one of the women plays softball.
Scalia?
Thank god I don't live in California! I don't want to be married!
And forcibly married against your will, too, as those devious gays planned.
Right? I mean, you know, what will the kids think? hell, What will Carmen Electra think? Poor kid wakes up next to me, naked, and married….
How long until the gay marriage abortionists come for our bitter gun bibles?
3 – 2 – 1 – NOW!!!
Let's celebrate with an Irish Coffee.
Oh, I am sure that they do that already in Mormon heaven. Particularly since women can't get there without being dragged in by some guy. It's not polygamy that way. It is the salvation of spinsters!
I prefer the alternate headline:
Circuit Court Ruling: California Now as Gay as Iowa
Really, with the combination of Lawrence v Texas and Loving v Virginia I see no legitimate legal reason for the Supreme Court to allow laws against same sex marriage to stand; but yeah this will all come down to Kennedy and he's often good at pulling an excuse not to do the right thing out of his ass.
Indeed, it's not over yet. But live in the
santorummoment, I always say.I actually doubt that the Court will grant cert on this — the ruling was limited to California and was premised on first giving gays the right to marry and then taking it away. So my guess is that we're going to have wait quite a bit longer before we find out if Kennedy is a queer-loving pinko or good old 'Murika-loving patriot.
Kennedy and Scalia are both 75 years old; come on aging…
My experience is that hate can keep you alive and seemingly healthy for a lot longer than expected. So I sadly expect little Antonin to outlive his less dickish colleague by a decade or more.
ie. Dick Cheney
Trouble is you only need the 4 votes for cert and Scalia, Roberts, Thomas and Alito seem more than happy to take any crack at taking sides in the "social wars" (as Scalia calls them) that they can. I mean, on health care they extended cert to consider a frivolous argument by states that the government can't change Medicaid's terms because they didn't "bargain" for it, never mind decades of precedent and the very nature of the program. So I could totally see these bozos champing at the bit to posit all sorts of plausible rationales for anti-gay marriage efforts, either with Kennedy as a tag along or in dissents that will serve as blueprints for NOM in every other state the issue comes up.
It will be big fun to read Scalia's opinion on this case when it gets to the Supreme Court.
If your idea of "fun" includes rage-inducing intellectual dishonesty and bigotry dressed up to sound like legal reasoning, then it's going to be a freakin' party.
Having just proclaimed that "if it ain't mentioned in the Constitution, the states can do whatever the hell they want," Scalia will have his undies in a bind if he grants cert. Or maybe he'll shamelessly ignore his own "principles", as he's wont to do when they prove inconvenient.
States' rights are sacred, except when it comes to gayitude.
"It will be big fun to read Scalia's opinion on this case"
How long does it take to read the words, "Stu'gotts"?
I think this non sequitur applies: "Nick..Heath..Jared..There's a Fire in the Barn!" (I use it too much, but it is just priceless."
How 'bout some coffee, Johnny?
You anti-Mormon bigot!
I'm gonna celebrate tonight by going home and watching movies about gladiators.
"There's a sale at Penney's!"
Ever spend time in the men's locker room, Jimmy?
This may not be on the Supreme's docket until after the 2012 election so it'll be a GOP rallying cry:
Activist judges usurp Founders unstated prohibition of sodomy and other things we imagine they wouldn't like if they knew what it was. SAN FRANCISCO VALUES!!!!
Vote for (to be determined) to save YOUR marriage and keep your children free from gay-marryin' elitists!
Damn Liberals. Next thing you know, they will let the Blacks and the Yellows marry.
Oh nooooos! Here comes the end of civilization as we know it!
About 10 years late, by my calendar.
…and I feel fine.
ACTIVIST JUDGES!!!!*
*Any judge who issues a ruling that Roger Ailes or the Koch Brothers don't care for.
And after teh Ghayez marry, and start producing little gay children, they will just take over the whole country. Are you happy now 9th Cir?
Plus all those gay recruiters will be out of work. Unemployment!
They breed like rabbits, let me tell you!
It reads like the court would have been cool with it if gay marriage hadn't been previously allowed to begin with.
Here's your grain of salt for the day.
Ah, the mysteries of the conservative dictionary:
Marriage = Man and woman only
Activist = Judge whose opinions they don't like
War = Spreading democracy
Corporations = People
Terrorist = Protester
Fetus = Mozart
Music = Taylor Swift
fair and balanced = (no entry)
rentboy = luggage carrier
limited government = complete control of lady parts
walking = hoveround
Gingrich = family values candidate
Mothers and children = anti-family
Ha-ha…Mormon church spent all that money for nothing…
They'll make it up in two days by getting a revelation from God that tithing means 12 percent.
Plus "Temple gifts" of $75 per head, $120 per couple…
Now there's an investment that didn't pay off for Mitt and his tithing.
Back to marshmallow/jello salad and family meeting.
This could be a net import scam for California. Pass some legislation that get's the mormon closet cases all hot and bothered, forcing them to spend megabucks to overturn it, IN California. Profit!
I personally can't wait for the gay marriage legislation in Washington (state for you east coast dumbies) to go to a referendum. I am already keeping a list of where I want to tell each of the signature gatherers to go. And then I will get a summer's worth of hate and vitriol and hand wringing "fair and balanced" reporting in the Seattle Times. The Seattle Times websites comments section is an amazing cesspool of teatards and bigots. I have no idea where they all come from. Mostly not Seattle.
That's why I mostly read the P-I.
The only crappy thing about being gay is that I hardly ever get to have abortions!
Well you could always loan a male friend a turkey baster…
I said hardly ever!
I looked over at the Blaze (I know guilty pleasure-don't judge me) and you should read the hate spewing from the Right Wingers.
Blaze and hate spewing is redundant.
No wonder you drink.
This is one small step – but nevertheless a good day for anyone who thinks it sucks that a mathematical majority of voters gets to decide whether a minority can "retain" a right or not.
Straight aheadGaily forward.True story: the morning after the '08 election, I had stopped at Starbucks on my way to work here in L.A. As I'm leaving a woman had just parked her Range Rover at the curb and was climbing out. Her friend seated at one of the outdoor tables called out, "How are you doing today, honey?"
Range Rover Driver responded: "I am so fucking pissed! Was it the fucking Mormons?"
I hope that lady is less pissed today.
Divorce Court will be soooooooo much more interesting now.
Oh, it already is. There are some divorces already from those who were able to legally marry. And yes, they're just as ugly as anybody else's divorce.
You know, I don't get it. Six months ago, they're (straights and gays) licking each other's genitals and moaning. Today, he/she is the worst person in the world. Go figure.
and FAAAAAAAAABBBBBulous!
Today we're all married California ass pirates!!!!!!!
(BTW to the "gay mafia"-I'm not a homophobe I'm just snarking here for enviouslyquer)
Ass Pirates happens to be one of the greatest films in the history of pr0n.
Hahahahaha! Right up there with "Pizza Boy: He Delivers!" and "Batman and Throbbin."
That's OK, everybody knows that Bacon's gay.
Let there be fabulousness!
As a straight, pasty Cali old guy, I'd just like to say "About time".
Ah, but will they be forced to be fabulous?
Here come hundreds of millions of dollars from the Mormons to fight this…
All this Wonkete needs is more ferns.
In other news, divorce lawyers in California are celebrating the creation of a brand new source of potential clients….
Oh fuck me! I might as well go kneel by a glory hole now 'cause we know the librul judges will cram the decision to perform oral down our throats, too.
~ Larry Craig
Judge Stephen Reinhardt – just another fudgepactivist judge!
Damn, now all of my friends' marriages are undermined. Because one half of each pair is from California, they're all now forced by this court decision to break up from their new relationships and get gay married instead.
At least, I'm pretty sure that's what it means.
I'm gonna celebrate by having premarital sex with a dog!
WOOF WOOF, BABY!
Rush and Newt, having tried seven women wives between them, are looking at California and thinking…maybe…
Also, I'm going to assume that Newt Gingrich is LIVID, as this decision totally undermines his marriage to his third wife, who me met as a result of an affair (and open marriage request) and subsequent unceremonious dumping of his ailing second wife, who he met as a result of an affair while married to his also-ailing first wife, who was his high school math teacher.
This is actually an example of how soap operas are pitched.
Look, all right-thinking Americans know that real Traditional Marriage consistent with HISTORIC VALUES are between one man, one math teacher, one blowjob-giving congressional aide, and one other woman in-between and overlapping with each of those first two.
Did the court comment on man on dog marriage?
"After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."
- Spock
Spoilsport…
I rejoice in their joy. However, I've already bitten the apple and therefor am familiar with the serpent.
Logic is a pretty flower, that smells bad…
MITT ROMNEY PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN 2012
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE–FEB. 7, 2012
Twowives, Utah, Feb. 7, 2012—Presidential candidate Mittt Romney issued this statement today, Tuesday, Feb. 7, 2012, about the progressive and forward-thinking decision by the Califoria courts and judges: "what a wonderful, fabulous decision this is today, for all people, not only in California, but around the world! I fully, completely and wholly support this decision! Gay and lesbian people all around the world should have the same constitutional rights to get married as all other people–and that includes gay Mormons. So congrats to all of the gay and lesbian people today! I hope to attende a gay wedding in California–and Utah–soon myself!"
This is gonna rain all over Stephanie Meyers' parade for the big "Twihard 2: Breaking Wind" opening this weekend. Almost warms the cockles of my cold black heart.
Excuse me while I kiss this guy.
"That government is best which governs least." – Henry David Thoreau
"Except when it comes to gays, lesbians, and uteruses." – 2012 GOP Amendment
I hear Rick Santorum will now include a kennel in his California HQ…
So they finally heard of the recently created 14th Amendment?
Romney and his minions plan to repeal the bill as soon as he is elected, (hint, hint, perhaps don't elect him?)
Fuck it, I think everybody should be married; at least twice.
I wish I wasn't so shocked when sanity happens.
I'm torn. I hate santorum the way I hate the fungus between my toes, yet I am kind of happy when he does well making the right wing slightly crazier than before. take that mittens!
…and you heard right (whimper).
I always found it fantastic that the United States gubbermint once made those magic-speedo-wearin' people wholly denounce polygamic practices before they could achieve statehood. They had to reject a single, notable tenet of their belief system.
So, Mormons, you want to 'splain again how important those goddamn beliefs really are?
Make sure that when you ask, you ask a black mormon, since he was considered marked by god with sin before the 1970s. Oh, and if you can do it while he's slurping a Coke (which was supposed to be evil in the 80s but now is ok in moderation because it isn't "hot", but iced coffee and tea are still works of the devil) that would be awesome.
Don't get me wrong – every organized religion has a shitload of hypocrisy and flip flopping. It just seems the LDS is much more cavalier about it than anyone else, like the tenets of the faithful are a series of switches to be turned off and on as necessary.
No no! This is research…uh, for a friend.
Oh this is the internet; I can have infinite browser tabs, er, eyes.
Besides I like the way you turn other men (and some women) on.
Mechanicals don't scare me! I've out-farked vibrators.
Hey, listen, if YOU know of a place that sells silver bullets, the rest of us would all like to hear it.
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