Have you ever wished that Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert would stop and take some time to explain what makes caribou want to hump? Sure you have. Here you go: “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the [oil] pipeline,” he says, and you can imagine the rest. HINT in case you can’t: it involves “warm oil” and “flowing.” In conclusion, America needs to build thousands more oil pipelines in Alaska, to make caribou horny.
It seems that Gohmert is also something of an expert on animal husbandry. Here’s his theory: The caribou very much enjoy the warmth the pipeline radiates. “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline,” he informed his colleagues.
“So my real concern now …if oil stops running through the pipeline…do we need a study to see how adversely the caribou would be affected if that warm oil ever quit flowing?” he asked.
OH GOD SAVE THE REST FOR THE ROMANCE NOVEL, PLS.
Gohmert’s faux-concern for the furry creatures earned him some titters from fellow committee members. Even Rep. Don Young, who was seated at his elbow, could barely contain his laughter. The Alaska Republican — who we can assume knows a bit more about caribou than his colleague from Texas — wasn’t entirely convinced that Gohmert knew what he was talking about.
“I’m not sure it’s warmth of the pipeline,” Young weighed in.
Gohmert was adamant in his theory. “It sounds like they need the pipeline,” he said.
And that is enough Texas Republican + animal sex talk for one day. Sheesh. [WaPo; Thanks to Wonkette operative “iKento”]
GIVE US MONEY! -