Rep. Louie Gohmert Is Talking About Caribou Sex In Congress

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Just being a Texas Republican makes you an animal sex expert.

Have you ever wished that Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert would stop and take some time to explain what makes caribou want to hump? Sure you have. Here you go: “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the [oil] pipeline,” he says, and you can imagine the rest. HINT in case you can’t: it involves “warm oil” and “flowing.” In conclusion, America needs to build thousands more oil pipelines in Alaska, to make caribou horny.

From the WaPo, finding their true beat:

It seems that Gohmert is also something of an expert on animal husbandry. Here’s his theory: The caribou very much enjoy the warmth the pipeline radiates. “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline,” he informed his colleagues.

“So my real concern now …if oil stops running through the pipeline…do we need a study to see how adversely the caribou would be affected if that warm oil ever quit flowing?” he asked.

OH GOD SAVE THE REST FOR THE ROMANCE NOVEL, PLS.

Gohmert’s faux-concern for the furry creatures earned him some titters from fellow committee members. Even Rep. Don Young, who was seated at his elbow, could barely contain his laughter. The Alaska Republican — who we can assume knows a bit more about caribou than his colleague from Texas — wasn’t entirely convinced that Gohmert knew what he was talking about.

“I’m not sure it’s warmth of the pipeline,” Young weighed in.

Gohmert was adamant in his theory. “It sounds like they need the pipeline,” he said.

And that is enough Texas Republican + animal sex talk for one day. Sheesh. [WaPo; Thanks to Wonkette operative "iKento"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 186 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] February 7, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I found this article very difficult to masturbate to.

Not_So_Much February 7, 2012 at 6:00 pm

But not impossible?

GunToting[Redacted] February 7, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I am a professional.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:17 am

A consummate one, I hope.

starfanglednut February 7, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Waitaminnit, Iemme try.

nope.

Dashboard Buddha February 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm

It's not much to dance to either.

Callyson February 7, 2012 at 7:10 pm

You know, that's the beautiful difference between Wonkette and HuffyPo: the latter would *never* allow this prescient comment…

CessnaDriver February 7, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Man Coulter and the Talibunny are the repiglican ideals of womanhood.

annettaj February 7, 2012 at 9:45 pm

So did Louis.

Come here a minute February 7, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Keep fucking that Caribou, Louie!

Schmannnity February 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Shazam. Gohmert Pyle.

BarackMyWorld February 7, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Golllllllll-lee!

ttommyunger February 7, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Pyle Libel.

flamingpdog February 8, 2012 at 12:33 am

Gohmert Pyleoshit.

PsycWench February 7, 2012 at 5:19 pm

But what about Caribou Barbie?

hagajim February 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

That's Caribou horny to you!

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 7, 2012 at 5:54 pm

She just needs the warmth of a nice meth lab.

Jukesgrrl February 7, 2012 at 6:02 pm

She's never had any problem inspiring rutting.

prommie February 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Just about the only thing I'd be willing to do with her is lay some "pipeline" over her.

DemmeFatale February 7, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Shhhhhhh…

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:20 am

Ms. Palin if you're nasty!

Biel_ze_Bubba February 7, 2012 at 5:19 pm

The One-Star State strikes again. My question for Louie: how do you know what a caribou says when trying to "get a date"? Have you been asked, or is this just a line that you've used? (And if either is true, did it work?) Inquiring minds want to know. (OK, we really don't want to know… but we are very likely to pay attention to the answer.)

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm

That's a nice rack of horns you got there, baby.

bumfug February 7, 2012 at 5:31 pm

If it gets serious they "go steady".

Dudleydidwrong February 7, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Caribou pick-up line: "Hey, sweet mama, let me show you my 'pipeline'."

hagajim February 7, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Hey baby! Let's go have a hot night in the oil fields!

Joshua Norton February 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

All facts were thoroughly researched before he pulled them out of his ass.

Data Exactly February 7, 2012 at 5:28 pm

It's very hard to document the Caribou mating rituals in relation to the Alaska oil pipeline because they don't want people looking in on the love making. Who can blame them?!?

PuckStopsHere February 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

"So when they go on a date…"
Dates? Really? Caribou go on dates? I thought they just went straight to the fucking of the out-of-town college basketball players.

Mahousu February 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

That is dating in many parts of Alaska.

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Or there's the six pack of wine coolers and no condom.

MissTaken February 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Don't forget the tent!

starfanglednut February 7, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Their love is in tents.

DaRooster February 7, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Yea Sarah!

smokefilledroommate February 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline

That's what Todd and caribou Sarah do.

spareme February 7, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Wait – will this work on my husband ,also?

4TheTurnstiles February 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Is that how they do it at N******head?

Tengu February 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

"Dear Field & Stream Forum, I never thought I'd be writing you but the other day…"

BornInATrailer February 8, 2012 at 10:53 am

Wow.

CapnFatback February 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Gohmert thinks that every quadruped is attracted to his pipeline. ONE ibex gives you head, and you start thinking you're God's gift to ruminants.

SayItWithWookies February 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Oh wapiti that Texas keeps electing this idiot. It's never too ungulate for change, you know.

HuddledMass February 8, 2012 at 12:11 pm

*groan*

bflrtsplk February 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Louie says, "Caribou make me so hawny."

Lit Happens February 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Even the caribou lay pipe.

YasserArraFeck February 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm

From his pic, it looks like he's just taken some horny caribou up his Warm Pipeline. Pretty shocking, eh, Louie?

(hint: Louie, that ain't crude running down your leg)

easytheresport February 7, 2012 at 5:22 pm

It's not the warmth of the pipeline, it's how you use it.

MaxNeanderthal February 7, 2012 at 5:23 pm

"Now Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete
Lived down by Dead Man's Creek,
And such was their luck that they'd had no fuck
For nigh on half a week.
Oh, a moose or two, and a caribou,
And a bison cow or so,
But for Dead-Eye Dick with his kingly prick,
This fucking was mighty slow"

The Ballad of Eskimo Nell.

DaRooster February 7, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Um… you do realize that caribou had "dates" before pipelines right?

Smitros February 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm

In less fortunate times they just got out mood music LPs, a bottle of Andre and scented candles like everybody else.

DaRooster February 7, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Mmmmm… Cold Duck!

Not_So_Much February 7, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Bullshit! Next you're going to be telling lies about the Flintstones not being in the bible!

DaRooster February 7, 2012 at 8:38 pm

The Virgin Wilma…

weej_bain February 7, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Silly Louie, the catcher called for the deuce and you threw the screwgie. Your pitch was such a caribou-boo.

Radiotherapy February 7, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Pipelines, warm oil, mouth diarrhea — you sure this isn't Santorum?

CapnFatback February 7, 2012 at 5:24 pm

He can't be that stupid, can he? He must have meant to say that when two pipe smokers want to go on a date, they invite each other to the Caribou.

Local_Mojo February 7, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I don't mean to be critical, but I think Rep. Gohmert is starting to lose credibility.

Designer_Rants February 7, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Too many "dates" with a certain Oil Lobby has got him worked into a lather.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:25 am

If only one could lose what one never had to begin with.

LettucePrey February 7, 2012 at 5:25 pm

This is all the 9th Circuit's fault. Legalized man/caribou marriage is the next logical step.

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Santorum was right!@!

DaRooster February 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

"We can NEVER shut down ANY pipeline… think of the caribou!!"

Troglodeity February 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Louie Gohmert lays pipe for caribou.

Extemporanus February 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

♪♫ Caribouuu… ♪♫

CapnFatback February 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

What's your Deal?

LesBontemps February 7, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Kelley. (I know, I know.)

CapnFatback February 7, 2012 at 7:33 pm

So YOU'RE the Last Hard Man!

Radiotherapy February 7, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I like that Frank Blah.

smokefilledroommate February 7, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I was there!

weej_bain February 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm

♪♫ Louie, Louie, you gotta go now ♫♪

Beowoof February 7, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Golly Gohmert, does Sgt Carter know you are cheating on him with a caribou.

Nostrildamus February 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Sounds hot! I'm ordering a 10" oil pipeline for my house pronto.

bumfug February 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Louie figured that since he has an overwhelming urge to rub one out every time he sees a refinery, it must be true for caribou too.

JackObin February 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm

There's stupid, and then there is Texas stupid. I think it's the excess Jesus and sun.

littlebigdaddy February 7, 2012 at 5:54 pm

The country music doesn't help.

Nostrildamus February 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Crude humor.

edgydrifter February 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Something tells me Gohmert isn't thinking about caribou when he describes hot oil on firm, muscular bodies and erotic encounters with a well-hung buck at some place called "The Pipeline."

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Yeah, I'm sure a species evolved to thrive in the extreme cold of Alaska and northern Canada is really going to be attracted to the pipeline's warmth.

MissTaken February 7, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Hot pipeline Caribou love is proof that evolution is just a myth.

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Hot pipeline caribou love sounds like a good band name.

johnnyzhivago February 7, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Just remember when you shoot at caribou from your helicopter, don't hit the pipeline.

Radiotherapy February 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Yeah Louie, who would know more about caribou than a Texan?

pinkocommi February 7, 2012 at 5:34 pm

"It seems that Gohmert is also something of an expert on animal husbandry. Here’s his theory: The caribou very much enjoy the warmth the pipeline radiates."

Proving once again that Republitards hate science, but LOVE pseudo-science.

PsycWench February 7, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Not that that point needed to proved again, mind you.

Nostrildamus February 7, 2012 at 5:34 pm

The mystery of Piper Palin is finally revealed.

elviouslyqueer February 7, 2012 at 5:34 pm

So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline,” he informed his colleagues. It’s apparently the equivalent of being wined and dined.

IOW, according to Gohmert, this is the Alaskan equivalent of beers, deers, and queers, amirite?

Chillwillard February 7, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Does "Caribou Sex" involve wine coolers by any chance?

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:31 am

It's more easily recognized by what it doesn't include: condoms.

ChernobylSoup February 7, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I'm seeing a trend that indicates Republicans think our base is as stupid and gullible as their base.

chascates February 7, 2012 at 5:36 pm

He was an expert on animal husbandry. Until they caught him at it.

weej_bain February 7, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Not animal cuckoldry?

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:31 am

This is so very full of WIN.

edgydrifter February 7, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Gohmert is showing Cooper his "caribou face."

lochnessmonster February 7, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Now we know why they want that XL pipeline! They want to see caribou sex in Texas!

SudsMcKenzie February 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Sure, but does the Caribou Call the next day?

upthruster February 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Didn't our Minnesota Babe Michele Bachmann also make this argument a couple years ago? But instead of the sexy warmth, it was caffeine the caribou were after… Yes. Yes she did indeed!

Here: http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2008/06/20/2501

Here: http://www.treehugger.com/corporate-responsibilit

And especially here: http://i25.tinypic.com/qpkjk7.jpg

weej_bain February 7, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Someone should convince She1ey to use one of those indecent incandescent lightbulbs as a suppository.

real_dc_native February 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm

It's a shame she peaked so early in the primaries. I do miss her insights.

Dashboard Buddha February 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

That last picture…are those bongs or dildos that she's holding?

Biel_ze_Bubba February 7, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Obviously not Mormon caribou. Mitt's people are going to have to do some serious caribou converting.

Eve8Apples February 7, 2012 at 5:42 pm

All this time, I thought the Alaskan pipeline was filled with petroleum. It turns out, they're pumping KY warming lubricant out of Prudhoe Bay.

Dashboard Buddha February 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

KY Intense

MissTaken February 7, 2012 at 5:42 pm

How Caribou ask for a date:

"So, would it be okay if I came in your pipeline?"

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Not "would you want my pipeline to come in you"?

MissTaken February 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Nah, it's the Caribou equivalent of those words every little girl dreams about hearing someday, "would it be okay if I came in your butt?"

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Hehehehehe.

And something certainly seems to be on your mind today, young lady. I don't know what's gotten into you…

…but I like it.

Boojum_Reborn February 7, 2012 at 6:18 pm

And whatever it is, can I watch?

MissTaken February 7, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Nothing's gotten into me so far, but soon I'm sure.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 7, 2012 at 5:43 pm

His porno collection must be very interesting. And by interesting I mean yeeeeeeeeesh.

weej_bain February 7, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Monsieur_Grumpe February 7, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Yes. Yes I do.

Rotundo_ February 7, 2012 at 5:43 pm

It really makes me wonder what this fellow did for a living before embarking on a political career: I cannot imagine a career choice that is low enough skill to suit him. If you gave him two rail cars full of lumber and a complete set of tools I would be willing to bet you wouldn't get one decent birdhouse out of the whole mess, and a collection of broken tools (and probably rail cars) to go with it. Incompetent is such a tame word to describe Louie.

Eve8Apples February 7, 2012 at 5:50 pm

It can't possibly be cattle ranching either. I can imagine him gazing at his bulls and heifers in the pasture and thinking to himself, "If only there was a nice warm pipeline running through that pasture so those bulls and heifers would get busy love making."

real_dc_native February 7, 2012 at 6:16 pm

He must be a lawyer obviously.

fartknocker February 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Yup, an attorney, a Birther and a member of the Tea Party. And he can't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heal.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:34 am

You give him lumber and a complete set of tools, and you'll get a hospital visit out of him, I'm sure of it.

Indiepalin February 7, 2012 at 5:45 pm

I think Louie Gohmert would make a FABULOUS animal husband.

mrblifil February 7, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I'm sure he's been fucked by a bear or two.

SarahsBush February 7, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I'd love to see him in a pissing match with Michele. Oh, the crazy things they would say!

P.S. This has been one shitty month for me, and this is the best laugh I've had in a while. Thanks, Louie, you fucking idiot!

fuflans February 7, 2012 at 8:56 pm

you've been missing round here.

hope feb and spring get better!

SarahsBush February 7, 2012 at 11:36 pm

:-) Thanks!

LesBontemps February 7, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Oh, and alt-text win, too.

OneYieldRegular February 7, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Sounds like somebody is seeing starbursts just thinking about Sarah Palin.

Dr_Zoidberg February 7, 2012 at 5:52 pm

You must be fucking kidding me.

flamingpdog February 7, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Caribou: Knock knock.
Gohmert: Who's there?
Caribou: Caribou.
Gohmert: Caribou who?
Caribou: Please don't cry.

meatlofer February 7, 2012 at 5:55 pm

After the male Eskimo "does a Bou" they some times rub noses with them.At least a"Good" Caribou will!

littlebigdaddy February 7, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Isn't animal husbandry the program Rick Perry got kicked out of?

BarackMyWorld February 7, 2012 at 5:56 pm

How dumb does your idea have to be for Don Young to laugh at it?

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 7, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Well, I know I never want to be caught, late at night, pumping gas along in Texas with no one around but Louie Gohmert.

Dashboard Buddha February 7, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Yea we're runnin' a little bit hot tonight
I can barely see the road from the heat comin' off of it

RedneckMuslin February 7, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Build a dang fence!

mrblifil February 7, 2012 at 5:59 pm

You know who else liked to yuck it up while they were abusing power?

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 6:01 pm

King Joffrey?

flamingpdog February 7, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Pope Hilarius?

Credit to whichever Wonketeer posted this link the other day.

Radiotherapy February 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm

FTW! And his successor was Simplicius.

littlebigdaddy February 7, 2012 at 6:08 pm

That other dillweed from Texas, what's-his-name.

flamingpdog February 7, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Could you narrow it down a little, please? I think maybe there's more than two dillweeds from Texas.

starfanglednut February 7, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Well, they've had quite a drought this year.

Radiotherapy February 7, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Stalin?
himself cracked [jokes], including this one about a visit from a Georgian delegation: They come, they talk to Stalin, and then they go, heading off down the Kremlin's corridors. Stalin starts looking for his pipe. He can't find it. He calls in Beria, the dreaded head of his secret police. "Go after the delegation, and find out which one took my pipe," he says. Beria scuttles off down the corridor. Five minutes later Stalin finds his pipe under a pile of papers. He calls Beria–"Look, I've found my pipe." "It's too late," Beria says, "half the delegation admitted they took your pipe, and the other half died during questioning."

BarackMyWorld February 7, 2012 at 7:16 pm

J. Edgar Hoover at a drag show?

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:40 am

Mayor Daley?

Jukesgrrl February 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Lemme get this straight. Cons love caribou, but the polar bears can just fuck off and die?

MissTaken February 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Polar bears are too elitist to fuck next to the pipeline.

chascates February 7, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Waiting on Tex. Rep. Joe Barton to apologize to caribous for not have a warm pipeline to snuggle up to.

Dashboard Buddha February 7, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I think Mrs. Gohmert is more familiar with animal husbandry…given that her husband is a pig.

Swampgas_Man February 7, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Is it a coincidence that Caribou Lou looks like a deer in the headlights in that pic?

real_dc_native February 7, 2012 at 6:14 pm

He probably has the Caribou confused with the sheep he use to court back home. In winter it can get pretty cold (and lonely) in the Texas high country.

HarryButtle February 7, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Dude? You're pitching an oil pipeline and Don fucking Young is laughing at you. Think about that.

MinAgain February 7, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Defunding of Planned Caribouhood in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

__kth__ February 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Just because Louie Gohmert likes to fuck livestock by the warmth of a pumping oil well doesn't mean that's what caribou like.

northernbassist February 7, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Wow, Texas–you've done an amazing thing: electing someone who can make Don Young look smart uh..reasonable…not quite as stupid as we all know he is!

Dashboard Buddha February 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm

But will you rut me…tomorrow?

AnAmericanInTO February 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm

As soon as I read this, it felt so familiar. So I went to my well-worn copy of Paul Slansky's THE CLOTHES HAVE NO EMPEROR and there it was in the index under Bush, George, on caribou mating habits:

"Caribou like the pipeline. They lean up against it, have a lot of babies, scratch on it. There's more damn caribou than you can shake a stick at." – November 17, 1987.

So, Repugs have been pitching this chestnut since, at least, I was in Junior High and before many of our Wonketeers were a gleam in their daddy's eye.

fuflans February 7, 2012 at 8:57 pm

god.

orygoon February 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

The caribou in Nebraska just can't wait for all that warm oil, poor things.

Tundra Grifter February 7, 2012 at 6:27 pm

What do caribou in the Artic do for fun?

They go to the Elks Club and blow a few bucks.

barto February 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm

How do you say "You look like you need a backrub" in Caribou?

starfanglednut February 7, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Oh, I hate that line. Next thing you know someone's digging their fingers painfully into your shoulders, and assuming you going to go home with them and fuck their brains out.

Tundra Grifter February 7, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Funny how Louie and Ole Crazy Eyes forgot to tell the US Fish & Wildlife Service the wonderful news:
http://arctic.fws.gov/carcon.htm

Tundra Grifter February 7, 2012 at 6:57 pm

By now the "Caribou Sex" page on Wikipedia probably has a pipeline foldout.

starfanglednut February 7, 2012 at 8:26 pm

If these fuckers had any idea that half of all federal agencies are quietly preparing for the effects of climate chance, they'd bust an aneurysm.

BlueStateLibel February 7, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I hope some Repub trolls read this, because you see, Repubs, this is what your beloved Republican Party really thinks of you, that you are an ignorant, gullible moron who will believe any fairy tale they can come up with, laughing behind your back, all the way to the bank.

BarackMyWorld February 7, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I just got done voting in Missouri's non-binding open primary. Buddy Roemer wasn't on the Republican ballot, so I got a Democratic ballot instead.

That "Barrock O'Bomma" guy seems legit. What is he Irish?

SudsMcKenzie February 7, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I think he played off guard for the Celtics in the Nineties.

fuflans February 7, 2012 at 8:58 pm

well black irish.

valgal2342 February 7, 2012 at 9:52 pm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/baracko

Well, Falmouth Kearney thinks so.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:42 am

Yeah, Blah Irish.

I think it's spelled "Brock O'Bamaugh", actually.

Terry February 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

This is what happens when Fundies control the science curricula in the schools.

C_R_Eature February 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm

You know that you're a Moron's Moron when Paid Professional Moron Don Young is laughing at you. I've gone way beyond surprise at this kind of boneheadedness from the elected R's anymore, but I just hope I never stop finding it amusing.

Here's an idea of just how far our Republic has fallen: a short clip from a recent House Natural Resources Committee hearing on oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
Dr. Douglas Brinkley was testifying. If you've seen it before, enjoy it again. If you haven't…I don't want to blow it for you.

A 2 minute clip. Submitted For Your Approval: "I Pay Your Salary!" The full hearing is up on CSPAN (69 minutes).

Enjoy.

mavenmaven February 7, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Santorum/Gompert 2012!

rickmaci February 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

This man has a say in the future of our Republic? Seriously? We are in more trouble than I ever imagined and I thought I was looking at worst case scenarios.

BZ1 February 7, 2012 at 8:13 pm

What is Rep. Gomer Pyle up to now??

unclejeems February 7, 2012 at 8:13 pm

This is news? This is hardly a ripple on the surface of a vast ocean of self-delusion. These people think Jesus left Nazareth on the back of a T-Rex.

You know, sometimes, I wish Reagan had never been elected.

ShaveTheWhales February 8, 2012 at 12:38 am

Um, I ALWAYS wish Reagan had never been elected. I was an adult then.

starfanglednut February 7, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Of course, the fact that the widespread burning of oil is causing permafrost to melt, and in general destroying the caribou's habitat doesn't enter into this numbnut's scientific calculations.

fuflans February 7, 2012 at 8:58 pm

gross.

SolitaireRose February 7, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Now that I know this, I am even more against the big Republican Keystone pipeline they add to every bill. I do not want the caribou migrating down through Oklahoma, looking for cheap, sleazy sex. Bunch of reprobates.

ttommyunger February 7, 2012 at 11:23 pm

This is all light-hearted fun until someone mentions that thousands of American Citizens repeatedly and knowingly cast their precious ballots for this asshat and send him back to Congress to represent them. I AM depressed…

Buckminster February 7, 2012 at 11:29 pm

I hope someone called the zoology department about this shocking new development. Hello, Earth to Gohmert? Since when are wild caribou dependent on human intervention, you jack-wipe?

mrblifil February 7, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Hey baby wanna check out the warmth of my goo pipe?

ShaveTheWhales February 8, 2012 at 12:47 am

Whenever I read an article about Screwy Louie, I am forced, once again, to wonder who the fuck it is that elected him to the House of Fucking Representatives of the Fucking United States.

And then I get kind of depressed, because the idea that there is even one diverticulum of 700K in the great colon of US America that will elect such a desiccated piece of poop suggests strongly that we are well and truly fucked.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:14 am

Texas is why America can't have nice things, folks.

MozakiBlocks February 8, 2012 at 11:40 am

Best part of this whole story is teh awesome "What the ever-living fuck are you talking about" combined with "I'm surrounded by idiots" look on Anderson's face.

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Well that sounds like something to look forward to.

starfanglednut February 7, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Ahem. Room.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:33 am

Yes, room for two…or more, I guess. It depends on how you roll. I don't judge.

Negropolis February 8, 2012 at 1:24 am

Forever pitching tents, them Alaskans.

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