Rick Santorum To Ruin Everyone’s Fun In Tonight’s Elections

  america heads to the poles

Rick Santorum is going to ruin America tonight! No but listen: The nominating contests in Colorado, Missouri, and Minnesota tonight are non-binding, inconsequential in general because Mitt Romney will still win the nomination, and… dumb… we don’t know… but will possibly have the effect of crowning Rick Santorum as the main alternative to Mittens, which means we’ll have fewer Newt Gingrich items to write from now on. This is the long-awaited End of Fun. Why is Rick Santorum going to ruin American and End Fun tonight? Didn’t he die in 2007 or something anyway?

The trusty Tom Jensen of Public Policy Polling writes that Santorum’s headed for a “big day,” so bring a change of pants. (Ha ha ha, kill me; murder me.)

There are three groups Santorum’s winning in all three of these states: Tea Partiers, Evangelicals, and those describing themselves as ‘very conservative.’ Those were groups that had previously been in Gingrich’s column, but it appears right leaning Republican voters are shifting toward Santorum as their primary alternative to Romney. If Santorum does pick up 2 wins and a 2nd place finish tomorrow that trend is likely to be accelerated.

The race in these three states is unusually volatile. 38% of voters in Missouri, 35% in Minnesota, and 31% in Colorado say that they’re still open to changing their votes. If there’s a good piece of news for Romney in this polling it’s that his supporters are more firmly committed than Santorum’s in all three states. He has a firmer base of support he can rely on to show up for him tomorrow than Santorum does.

Chilling.

Make your remaining Newt Gingrich jokes now while you can! We’ll go first: Newt Gingrich is so weird, he’s so weird that he lost a presidential nomination. Ugh.

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell