stupor bowl

Karl Rove ‘Offended’ By Dull Ad Promoting Major U.S. Company

Tucked amid the Stupor Bowl teevee commercials for naked chocolate candies, cheesy salt chips, war pornography, and the latest domestic water-beers was this one featuring old Clint Eastwood, the next Bat-Man, scouring stadium catacombs for the The Joker or maybe the Taco Bell. “It’s halftime in America and our second half’s about to begin,” he says, to cringes everywhere. But the ad’s main point is just “Hey let’s hope the Chrysler car company gets back on its feet.” Sure, that sounds fine! Unless you’re known anus Karl Rove, who is offended by Eastwood’s hope for the recovery of one of America’s large companies.

This is not a political ad, but the Washington Post informs your Wonkette that “it’s halftime in America and our second half’s about to begin” could “be interpreted as a reference to Obama’s second term.” Ha ha, savvy read, but no it can’t.

Karl Rove would agree, however, and had much more to say on Fox News today:

I was, frankly, offended by it.

I’m a huge fan of Clint Eastwood, I thought it was an extremely well-done ad, but it is a sign of what happens when you have Chicago-style politics, and the President of the United States and his political minions are, in essence, using our tax dollars to buy corporate advertising and the best-wishes of the management which is benefited by getting a bunch of our money that they’ll never pay back

Another conservative person is upset about this teevee ad for a car company, too:

“Agh. WTH?” tweeted conservative commentator Michelle Malkin. “Did I just see Clint Eastwood fronting an auto bailout ad???”

Yup, that’s what the ad said! Clint Eastwood just drops his pants and says BAILOUTS BAILOUTS BAILOUTS seventy times and then dies in Obama’s arms while Bo Obama licks his armpit. Classless Chicago-style trash. What ever happened to this country? Karl Rove, mostly.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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      1. CapnFatback

        No self-respecting Chicagoan would get ham on their deep dish. YOU OFFEND ME, SIR! MA'AM? SQEUAK?

        1. V572 & friends

          Although I am a native Chicagoan, I am offended by so-called "Chicago-style" cheese pies mislabeled as "pizzas."

      1. emmelemm

        Have you ever seen this cartoon, I think it was drawn by Callahan:

        Panel 1: Dog barfs.
        Panel 2: Dog licks up barf.

        Caption: "Nostalgia"

        I haven't been able to find a link to it online. But yes. 1,000 times yes.

  1. memzilla

    If the company that was being promoted had been Halliburton, or Exxon, or Lockheed Martin, Rover Boy would have whined that it was an Obama plot because the commercial had only run once.

    1. Urban_Achiever

      Anytime anyone whines about entitlement programs, I usually list these as the top 3 recipients

  2. Lucidamente1

    Karl's next project: funding Auto Workers for the Truth, with heartfelt testimony about how the Muslim Kenyan Socialist destroyed the industrial heartland.

      1. sewollef

        Wait a minute, the ad clearly points out that these vehicles are imported from Detroitland.

        So why oh why don't we buy domestic cars instead? What about real American workers jobs, not these Detroitish

  3. actor212

    I speak fluent Wingnut. Allow me to translate:

    I’m a huge fan of Clint Eastwood, I thought it was an extremely well-done ad


  4. CapnFatback

    Rove never forgave Eastwood for not giving him the role of "comic orangutan sidekick" in Every Which Way But Loose.

  5. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Remember the guy who used our tax dollars to turn the entire Federal Government into an advertising and action campaign for the Republican party?

    And then was given a pass for it all by President of the United States and his political minions?

    Yeah, me neither.

  6. Ducksworthy

    Hope that the US will recover is clearly treason. And would someone please direct me to a leftist site that is approximately as hate filled as the GOP?

    1. prommie

      I have got a whole bunch of hate in me, seriously, I cannot express to you how much I hate these evil pigfuckers. But this is deserved, righteous hate, because they are evil, so I guess its not the same.

  7. SexySmurf

    In Rove's defense, that commercial does make me want to vote for Clint Eastwood.

    Eastwood/Clyde the Orangutan 2012!

  8. Chillwillard

    Don't you just love it when, once in a lifetime, a Conservative icon speaks up and shows what a bunch of backwards dumbasses the rest of them really are? You made my day, Mr. Eastwood.

  9. Jaded[redacted]

    To be honest, this commercial stuck out the most to me. I may have even shed a tear or two into my locally-sourced, organic, micro-liberal beer.

  10. prommie

    See, America's industrial and manufacturing capacity, thats the baby, and unions, they are the bathwater, and the republicans are determined, absolutely determined, to throw the baby out with the bathwater. The automakers, if only Obama let them go under, then the UAW would be destroyed! Yay! And if we privatize all the schools and all government functions, there go the public worker unions! Yay! They hate unions so much, they want to kill the jobs just to screw the union workers.

    1. SorosBot

      That way, the now jobless workers will be willing to back to being paid by scrip that can only be used at the company store.

  11. SorosBot

    Karl then went on to say that Clint is overrated anyway, and more credit should go to Lee Majors, the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine.

        1. SorosBot

          I'm just glad some people got the reference – I was afraid that show might be old and obscure enough that no one would recognize the line.

  12. Thurman Munster IV

    I thought the "half time" reference meant that the USA has only another 235 years left, to which a queer threw up when he thought of Karl Rove.

  13. widestanceshakedown

    It's not like Obama himself was standing on a boat with a banner reading 'HalfTime Accomplished.'

  14. Baconzgood

    Remember that part of High Plains Drifter when the man with no name pulled the dude out of the saloon with a whip, whiped him to death in the street, then threw the whip into the bar to taunt the dudes friends to come out……I'd like him to do that to Rove.

  15. Schmannnity

    Karl, you seem to have forgotten; criticizing the President helps the terrorists. PS, Clint is a Republican.

  16. LiveToServeYa

    And this is yet another reason why Republicans should be shit out of this country so the rest of us can get along with trying to revive it from the aftershocks of poisonous greed.

  17. actor212

    using our tax dollars to buy corporate advertising and the best-wishes of the management which is benefited by getting a bunch of our money that they’ll never pay back

    TRANSLATION: Rove says here, "Advertising is just a waste of money for people trying to sell something to a mass audience."

  18. Chichikovovich

    Yes Karl et al. Now that the smoke has cleared, the auto companies appear to be doing astonishingly well (GM is making a profit, and Chrysler, well, given that virtually no commentator informed about the situation thought Chrysler had a chance of surviving three years ago, just producing cars that sell is miraculous.) If they had gone into uncontrolled bankruptcy all but Ford would be gone, taking the economy of Michigan with them.

    It's time to double down on the "bailout was a bad idea" theme. Tell Mitt to shout it louder too.

    1. Negropolis

      People need to be reminded that Ford would have been gone, too, if the other two would have collapsed, because it have destroyed the supplier chain, GM being the biggest of the three, and all. If they wouldn't have been destroyed, Ford would have been reduced to making niche cars, and would have ended up a shadow of itself. It's why Ford flew to Washington to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with the other two.

      These three are so inextricably linked, that the death of two would have meant the death of all three. The death of one (only Chrysler) could have been mitigated, but GM going down would have brought down the entire house. Even Toyota North America was pulling for a bailout behind the scenes because of the supply chain.

  19. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    All right everyone, just get it straight, any indication that Obama may have done anything right, no mater how obliquely the reference might be, is all a commie pinko plot to destroy this country.

    And now they have gotten to Clint Eastwood. What's next, someone quoting Reagan in defense of taxing the rich at a greater level than the poor!!!!!

  20. meatlofer

    That Evil Mothrfucker Rove.Fuck him,Fuck himFuck him till the next Superbowl,and then FUCK him again!

  21. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I never heard Karl Rove complain about the Budweiser add in the '04 Super Bowl "It is halftime in America, and don't you wish you could be water-boarded with a cool Bud Lite?"

  22. chascates

    Karl is probably offended by this hede in today's WSJ:
    GM Aims to Reach $10 Billion Profit
    The auto maker is expected to report 2011 net income of more than $8 billion and has set its sights on a once-unthinkable goal: make more than $10 billion a year.

    Stating that 'Government Motors' is going to declare a profit is obviously taxpayer-funded journalism spun to make Obama look good.

  23. SayItWithWookies

    On the other hand, Karl was thrilled with the ad featuring Iraqi president Jalal Talabani talking about how their government is stable, everyone's buying their oil, and they're in a new era of peace and prosperity.

    Oh wait — that didn't happen.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      I seem to remember a commercial in the 2004 Olympics about the latest happy member of the democracy club. It wasn't until 2005 that most of America realized things had been going horribly wrong the whole time.

    1. cobweb2

      Karl and Michelle are both bad and ugly, but to suggest that Karl is uglier than Michelle is ludicrous. You should have stated the obvious:
      "Clint Eastwood, Karl Rove and Michelle Malkin =The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." Were you to bring K. Lopez into the equation, there might be some room for argument.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Quit being a Toad.

      (Love that movie. Which was the inspiration for the ad. Last year, Eminem, in a Chrysler, with strains of "Lose Yourself" in the background. This year, a Gran Turino homage.)

  24. GOPCrusher

    Watching this commercial last night, the first thought I had was, "Which wingnut will be the first one to piss and moan about it?"
    I have my answer.

  25. jodyleek

    I can never remember, does Chicago-style politics have the cheese under the sauce or the sauce under the cheese?

  26. Goonemeritus

    If Chrysler had the same moral compass as Carl Rove they would have produced an ad that accused General Motors of having an interracial affair with Ford and fathering mixed race Mazda.

  27. Soylent Green

    Thank you former Republican mayor and recommended G.H.W. Bush vice-president. You were great in Tarantula. Welcome to the Socialist Party.

  28. MrFizzy

    These repubelickins sure seem shocked, offended, disgusted and dismayed a lot lately. Could it be because the other team keeps bashing the living shit out of them? BTW there's pretty much nothing better than when Colbert puts glasses on the ham Rove.

  29. starfanglednut

    Like all conservative family values patriots, Rove doesn't actually want American manufacturing to recover. He just says he does. What he really wants is all manufacturing to be outsourced to sweatshop child labor so that more money can be funneled into the pockets of the very wealthy, like him. He then wants Halliburton, etc to sell this made in China crap to the US army for $40,000 per hammer or whatever, funneling even more money into his pocket.

    1. HistoriCat

      Now now – that's not fair. I'm sure Rove would be happy for American manufacturing to recover, as long as we go back to sweatshop conditions and low low wages. Bring back the 80 hour work week!

    2. Rotundo_

      That is the operational definition of Corporate America! in this wonderful new century. So long as this quarter looks good for the value of the stock, fuck everything and everyone else. 90 day slices of time, no further thought than that.

  30. Chichikovovich

    the management which is benefited by getting a bunch of our money that they’ll never pay back

    Karl is a bit confused, and makes an understandable mistake. The money from Chrysler and GM we are getting back. It's the more than a trillion piasters we dropped in Iraq that will never be seen again.

    1. Veritas78

      Got back, actually. With interest. We, the taxpayers, ended up making money on the deal. Soshulism!

    1. GOPCrusher

      Isn't doing World Of Warcraft commercials already a sign that your career is on it's last legs?

    2. Rotundo_

      Chuck has been masturbating at his own image for a long long time. Maybe he tells the wife he's practicing commercials, but sooner or later, Chuckles is mopping down the mirror.

  31. SexySmurf

    Here's what some retard named Christian Schneider at The Corner had to say:

    Although Eastwood represents modern America fairly well, too, as he has fathered seven children with five different women.

    You know why? Because he's Clint Mother Fucking Eastwood! He's the fucking man! He can fuck any chick he wants. He's probably fucking Christian Schneider's sister right now just for shits and giggles.

      1. natoslug

        If only he had insisted on aborting her movie career. She's a blind man with no sense of touch's idea of what an attractive woman looks like.

    1. SorosBot

      Weren't those the ones that claimed that smoking a joint meant you supported terrorism? And yet they didn't say anything about filling up your gas tank.

      1. Blueb4sunrise

        I reckon, though I'm not gonna search for them.
        See. Progress! Now it's just against the law again.

      2. Generation[redacted]

        The commercial about filling your SUV's gas tank offended Karl Rove and was pulled off the air after only a few showings.

  32. Isyaignert

    Everytime I see that smug evildoer or hear that little shit's name, I ask myself, "Shouldn't he be in jail?" Karma KKKarl Karma.

  33. Soylent Green

    Staring steely-eyed until the pudgy man breaks into a sweat, he turns and spits black tobacco juice straight onto that mangy dog! Right between the eyes! Clint Fucking Eastwood!

  34. mavenmaven

    Yes, they are offended, the Koch bros and the like want to see all industry in the US fail so that they can reinstate child labor, death like work conditions, and no minimum wage for profit.

  35. Redhead

    I was highly offended by that ad too. All I wanted was to watch football and ads about dogs killing cats and musicians whose looks rival their names for ridiculousness in my half-drunken stupor. Damn real world, pissing in my (watered down American) beer.

  36. JustPixelz

    Mr Rove and Ms Malkin:

    “Take your message disparaging achievement, take your message of offense at economic success, take your message of belittling the entrepreneurial will and spirit of the American people somewhere else,” he continued. “You can take it to Europe, you can take it to the bottom of the sea, you can take it to the North Pole, but get the hell out of the United States of America.”

    1. widestanceshakedown

      It is official (R) policy that we never got any bailout money back. Please make a note of it while saddling grandchildren with non-existent debt.

    2. Tundra Grifter

      Chet Kincaid:

      Yes – it was during the second Bush (43) Administration that TARP and the auto bailouts were initially funded.

      I haven't heard Karlrove mention that fact lately.

      Additionally, if he looked into it, he would discover that Mr. Obama's primary change to the Bush bailout wasn't more money – it was including a mechanism for the taxpayers of the good old USofA to actually be repaid.

    3. Negropolis

      The silliness of Rove is further on display when his boss, Dubya, said yesterday at some fancy dealership dinner, I think, that if he had to do it again he'd have done the loans for the GM and Chrysler.

  37. Schmegeg

    It's halftime in America, Soon Madonna will fall through a trap door onto my face. In the meantime you should consider buying a really shitty car which was designed and built with tax dollars, instead of the twenty or so other cars that have already been advertised during this extremely overblown spectacle. Christ, I could shoot two movies during the pregame show alone.

    This will, for some reason, really piss off the wingnuts who must hate halftime because they couldn't play and had to join the band. I am going to make a WIngnuts movie now, which will be released next week and get thirty Oscar nominations for no reason.

  38. Rotundo_

    Oh Karl, you gave us Dubya, will you just fucking stop it already, we have had enough of your shit. Retire. Go fishing, go off with Rusty and fly down to the DR and bang some cabana boys or whatever it is that makes your little tails curl. Just fucking stop it already. Jeeeeeeezussssss!

  39. OneYieldRegular

    I believe Karl Rove long ago forfeited the legitimacy of his being "offended" by anything.

    Anyway, who won the game? The Piledrivers? I was driving around the gorgeous Sierra Nevada foothills in a rented Chrysler all day yesterday, but heard there was some sort of sporting match going on.

  40. Dashboard Buddha

    Karl would have liked it, and approved of it if they could get Clint to say, "Get your stinking hands off me you damn dirty liberal"

  41. DaRooster

    How dare anyone in office run an ad pointing out things they have actually helped with. Don't they realize that one should only run ads completely shredding the other person?

  42. Callyson

    using our tax dollars to buy corporate advertising
    Has this moran never seen the insipid ads by Boeing, Raytheon, Lockheed Martin…?

  43. Tundra Grifter

    When George Bush (43) was President, on a rare trip to California he visited the plant that manufactured Hummers.

    This was owned by the Carlyle Group – headed by his father and other former members of his administration.

    The Hummers were unarmoured – and military personnel were getting blown to bits in them.

    Yet Karlrove and his ilk were perfectly willing to use that factory as a photo op prop.

    Just where the fuck does he get off lecturing anyone to the left of Uncle Joe Stalin about anything on the face of this earth?

  44. real_dc_native

    Karl Rove is such a turd. And I ask all of the turds of the world to forgive me for saying that.

  45. chitrade

    I like to think Clint was squinting through his reading glasses, balancing his accounts, when he saw how his Chrysler LLC bonds were doing…

    "For the love of…Sergio, get the damn cameras. We're going to make a damn Crysler commercial.




  46. Tundra Grifter

    Not willing to take the outside chance there was an adult in the Western Hemisphere who hadn't yet seen this commercial, Karlrover goes out of his way to call attention to it the next day.

    A fuckin' genius.

  47. owhatever

    The second half? Clint knows when the America is going to end? According to my home school math teacher, if the first half lasted from 1776 to 2012, then that's 146 years, so in another 146 years (that would be 2193), the USA is history. Clint will still be making movies, and Chevy will still be making Fords in China.

    1. real_dc_native

      I hate to be the math nerd here but your teacher needs to check the figures. I remember the bicentennial you see. Oh, home-school? Never mind.

  48. Steverino247

    What Republicans used to do in this country was acquire capital and use it to build things. They were like kids with train sets, wanting bigger train sets. Republicans used to measure their worth in how much they (and their companies) produced, by the size of the company, which meant the number of employees. You didn't have to like them necessarily, but you knew they provided a steady paycheck and job opportunities that went on from generation to generation. Then the corporate raider Republicans came along and stripped those old guys for everything they built and sold it off. Manufacturing got moved overseas in order to maximize profits for the investors until it got to the point where nobody builds a damned thing that does't involve cheese or bacon. If those old Republicans (like Mr. Eastwood apparently is) returned and took their party back, we'd all be better off for it.

  49. fuflans

    karl, if that ad were paid for by chicago style politics, the shadow in the tunnel would have turned around, pulled out a tommy gun and blasted ole clint back to the first first half.

  50. GeorgiaBurning

    You have some tax dollars backing (1) a loan that is being paid back to a company that (2) manufactures something tangible and useful and (3) employs a lot of Americans at (4) good wages to do it. I can see why Republicans are offended, that's four things they've been working hard to eliminate from any of their corporate giveaways.

  51. SolitaireRose

    So, in other words Rove thought "Gran Torino" was a documentary and is shocked that Eastwood isn't really that character?

  52. kateinmt

    That is just fucking it! I've been offended by Karl "Canned Ham" Rove and his ilk for YEARS now, and you don't see me whining all over like some little kid who had his dick slapped out of his hands. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick – isn't there ANYONE in the Republican party who has a functioning pair of brain cells? As odious as they all are, there should be a shitty yellow cloud surrounding them wherever they go. Just FUCK THE HELL OFF, you nasty, deformed pieces of faulty DNA.

    Thank you. I feel somewhat better now. Not a lot, but a little.

  53. Negropolis

    Clint was almost playing a caricature of himself by the end of the ad.

    I love that they've become so twisted out of shape that they are now forced into the position of rooting against America. lol Reap what you sow, mutherfuckers; reap what you sow and like it.

  54. ttommyunger

    Karl knows, even in his sweaty fantasies, that Clint wouldn't give him a reach-around. That's why he's offended.

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