Look, Rep. John Fleming is too busy putting food on the table with his $400,000 business income (after food expenses and all other expenses) to know that THE ONION is a satire publication and there are no plans for an $8 Billion Abortionplex in the works, as of now.
Oops! He has now deleted this Facebook wall post because it made him “seem like” an idiot. Here’s a picture of Rep. John Fleming, from the TeeVee:
He doesn’t “look like” an idiot, either. [The Atlantic Wire]
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Congressman John Fleming #hesucksalot & #heblowstoo plus he's just stupid.
hashtags²
George W. Bush: "Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity is Finally Over"
also" "Despite Strong Republicans Opposition, Obama Turns 50"
Louisiana Republicans: Frontal labotomortion by the wholesale.
I like how morons don't seem to understand that deleting something stupid they said doesn't make it go away forever. Sorry Congressman, we all know how gullible you are.
That's the best thing! Olds not understanding webspiders is hilarious!
Any yet, he does nothing about that hairpiece? Odd…
Odd, indeed.
These fuckwits have the most expensive dumbass hairpieces that obscene wealth can buy, and they think they're fooling somebody.
More on Planned Parenthood, abortion by the wholesale
I've been paying retail for my abortions, what a rip off!
One more abortion on my punch card and I get a FREE latte !
Did you know if you abort a black baby you can buy one, get one for free? Can't pass up a bargain like that.
I hear you can get coathangers in bulk at Sam's.
But they are plastic and from China.
Yeah but just think you've been helping your local abortion provider instead of those big soulless chain abortion clinics.
Abort Local! Down with Big Pussy!
OMG!! there's not enough upfists in the internets.
I thought we were talking about "Big Box" stores.
You can earn points and miles if you use your frequent aborters card.
I like to use my Capital One No Hassle card. I get 2 times miles with every abortion.
Cheaper by the dozen!
So I take it you are not a member of the Tribe, then? They never pay retail.
Yeah, I don't know about you people, but I don't have $8 billion to spend on an abortion.
I get mine at Omar's Abort-o-rama & Carpet Outlet. With every abortion, you get a free hall runner!
And ever since Abort Mart came along, all the local Mom and Pop abortion clinics closed up shop.
I miss the personalized service, how they knew me and my girlfriends by name, and offered us coffee and extra benzadrene…
Derr, derp, duhhh, man, seriously, fuck this ban on the R-word, this motherfucker is a motherfucking full-on retard.
it's true!! jim returns and so does our access to the r-word!!
The banhammer might just be rusty. You might want to give it an hour or two before celebrating.
What a
retardmaroon!He can't even spell his fucking name! It's Phlegming, damn it! He was so stupid that is mother couldn't even teach him his real name. "Phlegming, you fuckwad!" she'd scream at him. He would just stare, glassy eyed at her and then go beat off. And this was at age 22.
Congresstwit 101: The Onion is not real!
For an MD this motherfucker ain't too sharp.
You mean that Congress did not actually debate the coolness of Rush:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-debates…
IDK, it's news stories are more accurate than those on FAUX News…
"Area Man Passionate Defender of What He Imagines Constitution to Be" is way accurate.
Yeah, that one's pretty much a dead-on description of the teabaggers. Is it satire when it's true?
My all time favorite! I like this one too.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these…
Perfection.
I like this one –
"Romneymania Sweeps America"
http://www.theonion.com/articles/romneymania-swee…
several years back, i remember a story about the onion confusing a chinese newspaper.
the chinese newspaper had a whole lot more excuses than this twatwaffle does.
Next you'll try to to tell me that Jim Anchower isn't a real person.
HOLA DUDE
Not to mention Herbert Kornfeld…
http://www.theonion.com/articles/keep-your-fuckin…
R.I.P.
One of the classics: http://www.theonion.com/articles/8yearold-acciden…
Rep. Fleming also wanted Alfred E. Neuman investigated because he thought Spy vs. Spy was leaking valuable state secrets.
Heard that Sergio Aragonés was a member of ETA.
And this is how satire dies.
Not with a bang but with a twitter.
I'd like to think that this is how satire becomes reality so remains very much alive, to get all philosophicated about it. But, damn, it makes it hard on those of us who write/do satire occasionally.
i hear they have a playroom where you can play fetus tag.
An abortionplex! Great! Now I can have several abortions a day!
After which you can go to the on-ground spa and have a placenta facial and a massage.
"Seem"…..No seem in that.
Dude should've known it was fake simply by the "Topeka" dateline. After all, abortion isn't legal within about 100 miles or so of the place.
Which is a shame, if you've seen most of the people living within 100 miles or so of the place …
Hey, wait a minute, is this article the reason the Komen foundation cancelled its grants?
What's a Louisiana Republican doing on The Onion? Shouldn't you be at Diapersex.com with your esteemed Senator?
Is it just coincidence that Jim Newell returns to Wonkette and immediately a right wing nut confuses The Onion with a real news source?
I think not.
Do morons feel embarrassment? The restraint gene must be broken or missing in this fool.
DERP!
No more needs to be said.
Herp Derp!
Fleming: The abortionplex is in Topeka. You're in Louisiana. Out of your fucking jurisdiction, entcha?
Messing with other people's states is what republicans call "state's rights".
Big of John Flaming to take one for the team and distract attention from Pete Hoekstra.
After my abortion I like to enjoy a yummy pizza topped with fetus. Luckily the pizza joint is located right in the same center as the abortion clinic!
Hey John, did you know they took the word gullible out of the dictionary?
Patriots fans are still celebrating the Super Bowl XLVI win, as the reported by The Onion.
I can't wait to see their food court-
Fetus Amos Cookies
Pap Smear Express
Chik-Fil-B-Plan
Sin-a-bonne
SuBaby Sammiches
One outlet must sell baby back ribs!
Chilin's
Little Debbie
McDandC (try the quarter-pounder)
"Veal" Scallopini
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. ~ Abraham Lincoln
I think posting to Facebook is like screaming out loud.
I have had a couple of the conserva-movement's best and brightest fb-post the one about Pres O "being an ass for living in a mansion while people are suffering" with great righteous indignation. Accidentally posting Onion articles is probably the best thing they ever do though, so I ain't saying shit.
Some of my relatives fall for the articles. I keep my mouth shut.–more fun that way.
Yours are the relatives that believe Stephen Colbert… amiright?
He's too liberal for them.
If I had a nickle every time one of these douche bags believed a story from the Onion I'd almost have 8 bucks.
8 billion bucks.
Fleming's mother had an abortion but forgot to tell him.
"Johnny? the Onion's not real and neither are you."
Such a credible news source, that Onion.
It's been said here before, but what is about Republicans that make them immune to irony?
The same thing that allows them to take books such as the Bible, Book of Mormon(y), or Assless Tugged seriously.
It's been said here before, but what is about Republicans that make them immune to irony?
It is called "being stupid".
And they sure can be proud of their Rep, John C. Fleming (R-Etarded).
~
That's where my farm is. Yes. I am embarrased…all the time.
Imagine the fetus cuisine that would result from the abortionplex. Yummy.
Buffet!
If you have the tag R-LA after your name, it is impossible for your IQ to be above 80.
If you forgive his inability to understand the mission of The Onion, he still "seems like" an idiot because his grammar is so bad. Rep. Fleming must buy his stupid pills "by the wholesale".
But he still believes Colbert is the truest conservative voice out there.
It's called The Onion. It's like they're warning you not to trust them right there in the name.
But really, I love going to the abortionplex; there's always a bunch of women on the prowl, looking for guys to knock them up so they can enjoy their next abortion.
I like to hang out by the Orange Julius stand. It's made from real baby Julius!
I always wondered how those were so creamy and tasty.
I like to add a shot of wheatgrass to my fetus smoothies. It helps my digestion and has antioxidants to protect against common, every-day illnesses.
However you do not want to know what the artificial insemionationatorium nearby uses to make theirs so creamy.
Mmmm…..frothy.
supercaliflagelisticexpialidocious
And they are vulnerable! Its like the Hyena's singling out the slowest member of the herd. Craft stores are good, too.
Dammit! That's why my designer condom booth went bust!
We go to the abortionists we have, not the abortionists we wish we had.
Right now he is negotiating a deal to get a team of Young Republicans to scour the internet attempting to delete screen captures from every user's hard drive in America. It's down to the question of whether the sandwich coupons will be from Subway or Papa John's.
Papa John's, because he's extra
cheesycalf-lick!His great-great-great-great grandfather was executed in Ireland for taking Swift's advice and actually eating babies.
Fleming also replied to Henny Youngman that no, he did not want to take his wife, he already has his own, thank you.
If a Republican congressman speaks in the woods and nobody hears him, is he automatically wrong?
No matter where he speaks or who hears him, he's pretty much automatically wrong.
Who bought the naming rights for the Abortionplex?
Is it too late for the Acme Hanger Corp?
Or, the abortionplex is in an old hangar.
"No Fetus Can Beat Us!"
What was that Santorum foundation…CumPac or something…?
Or Kids 'Aren't' Us
The BBQ place right behind the abortionplex in my neighborhood is really good. Very tender meat. Also, for every abortion you get a 1/2 off coupon for a plate of baby back ribs.
I want my baby back, baby back…
You want fries with that?
Due to HIPPA regulations, they won't let us have our baby back after the Abort-O-Tron procedure.
I've seen that place. Right next door is the English Emporium that specializes in Finger Sandwiches.
"Ok honey…going through with the abortion? Fine fine. So…your appointment at the Abortionplex is at 3? Great…I'll be waiting for you in the food court."
Yes, it was a joke, but what does it say about Planned Parenthood that a story like this would seem real?!
We joke about eating fetuses, but based on the law against fetus eating that that wingnut in Oklahoma was trying to pass some of the anti-choicers believe that we liberals actually do eat fetuses. These guys are both nuts and stupid; you could tell them that Planned Parenthood sells the souls of aborted fetuses to Satan and they'd believe you.
I read on the internet that Planned Parenthood sells the souls of aborted fetuses to Satan. It's on the internet so it must be true.
No, I'm pretty sure that's Proctor and Gamble.
Planned Parenthood needs to repair its public image with some consulting from Ari Fleischer.
Actually I read that "story" when it first appeared and I thought it sounded like a satirical pro-life piece.
I don't know, but it says a lot of good things about the writers at The Onion.
At least one of them is a former Wonkette editor.
Such illustrious company. Steuf hanging with Josh Modell, Steve Hyden, et. al., speaks less to his judgment than going to Gawker ever did to Newell's.
But, eh, keep frying that chicken, Jack. (All the ONION eds. are fat like Craig Finn — but they hate fat people. I hope they have arteries more clogged than Rick Majerus's.)
It says nothing about Planned Parenthood. OTOH, it says a lot about the gullibility of Lousiana representatives.
Now, if Conservatives would get embarrassed when they site to that other great satire: FOX News.
I love that there's a government staffer out there with a Yahoo News Alert set to "abortionplex."
"Abortionplex" gets 63,500 hits on Google. Also, the Onion story came out back in May 2011.
Stupid fuckstick
Wait, so your saying Fox News viewers are prone to mistake a joke news source for a legitimate one and not know the difference? Hmmm….
For $8 billion, the population of the entire planet could be aborted in Tijuana.
Wow…that's a little over $1 per…who knew Tijuana was home to such value.
Or they could watch the donkey show, whichever.
I thought the abortion came with the donkey show included?
Now thats a fun date!
The donkey show is there to answer the question of paternity.
It's a ping-pong ball show but with feti.
I'm firing up a Kickstarter campaign RIGHT NOW.
The Onion is probably where these Republican jackasses get their information about Mickey Mouse being registered to vote, isn't it?
It's times like these that I like to thank all of the poor souls that friend/follow republicans just for the lols. Your efforts do not go unnoticed.
Wow, with 8 billion dollars in tow, Planned Parenthood could wipe out whole nations….
Must stem this cell.
Are we sure that this abortorama wasn't canceled because of a lack of funding from Komen?
Ooops, boy have I got egg on my face, early on I posted and said this guy is an "R-word," and I used the whole word, too, but now I have just noticed that he's from Louisiana, which would make him, relative to the population, some kind of genius, at least based on his ability to spell. Sorry, my mistake.
Rep. Fleming is sure to enjoy the forthcoming Bob Dylan album, "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up"
Just like your P-ness.
Some poor schmuck in his office is frantically deleting Facebook comments now. So much hilarity ensues when the Internet is unleashed.
I don't care what he says – Abortionplex is the B-52s' best album ever.
Isn't there some kind of a beautifully ironic symmetry going on here? I mean, the fact that we observe the actions and statements of the current generation of raving conservative cultists, and we marvel that they have become immune to parody, and at the same time, these very same imbeciles are exposed to parody, and they think its real? I am having a hard time finding a way to say this succinctly, but there is something profound about this, that they are indistinguishable from parody themselves, and they are unable to distinguish parody in others. Thats just freaky, man.
If there isn't already a word to describe this disorder (besides the obvious R-word) I think we should invent one.
Hip dysphasia? We might have to put them down if it gets too painful for the poor things.
I've found the conservatives I've known to be pretty humor-impaired in general, I think it goes with the territory. But they do seem to be taking it to a whole new level lately. How a grow man, and a congressman at that, could take The Onion seriously for more than a few seconds blows the mind.
It's as if they're working on some sort of mathematical proof of Poe's Law.
This guy is driving around right now looking for Spatula City.
Don't lay it on me man, cause you can't afford the ticket…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XbCWmY0eqY
the south will rise again, just not in the way anyone expects.
Its a fermentation process. Yeast is involved.
"It's a meat process."
It involves methane.
Don't know about that, but they're certainly risible again.
I used to live in Texas and we took road trips to get out of Texas a lot. And the parts where we drove through Louisiana or Oklahoma had a kind of a bonus–they made one thankful for, um, living in a somewhat better place.
Mind you that guy represents NORTHERN Louisiana, which isn't really Louisiana, anyway. It's southern Arkansas.
Ouch!
No wonder republicans acted scared all the time. They are spooked by fairy tales and shadows . . . and satire.
Boo!
Too bad it's not real. I can see getting my nails done, having an abortion, going shopping and really making a day of it.
Is this guy the father of that Miss USA candidate who talked about the Iraq's and stuff….seems like he's idiotic enough to be, maybe even borderline **tard**.
"Our hope is for this facility to become a regular destination where a woman in her second trimester can whoop it up at karaoke and then kick back while we vacuum out the contents of her uterus. " –The Onion
The karaoke part threw the congressman off. It has the whiff of legitimacy.
Hey, kids! Have your picture taken with Santa and the baggie of your brother or sister!
Just like the Santorums did with Gabriel!
It must be noted that you can bring your own reusable bag so you can protect the environment. I have my NPR Nino-Totem-Bag.
Now Showing in Theatre 14 of the AbortionPlex: The Red-Faced Congressman
Well in his defense, after years of believing the shit Fox News says, it becomes very difficult to recognize a bogus story, no matter how fucking ridiculous it is. Next he'll be frothing at the mouth about how Obama is a cactus.
No disrespect to the Onion, but 1 in 5 people believe, for realz, that Dubya was a good President. It is hardly a stretch of the imagination to accept that the same 1 in 5 believe Hopey is a cactus.
They must have read that Onion article, "Dubya was a Good President."
this is the only rep left in america that could still be on 'better know a district'.
I mean, The Onion piece might be satire or whatever, but people like Rep. John Fleming – anti-choice people, I mean – might be starting to catch on to the fact pro-choice people love abortions.
I mean, I got my wife pregnant 17 times last year so that we could get a bunch of abortions. We're, like, gobbling up all these abortions because we just love them so much and we're getting really greedy for them.
Just the other day, I said to my wife, "Mmmmmmm, these abortions are so gooooodd!! We could LITERALLY not have you have enough abortions. If I ever say to you 'You know, I'm a little tired of all these abortions' I want you to SHOOT ME IN THE FACE."
What should have tipped him off was the $8 billion. Hah! you could only do like two, maybe three hundred abortions a minute for that. Even Planned Parenthood wouldn't bother.
Though not explicitly stated in the Onion article, I do believe the Abortionplex plans an expansion in 2016 with a Robo-bortion area.
Let me guess, Rep. John Fleming is Stephen Colbert's biggest fan?
OT, but Another dipshit republican.
What a douche.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/02/04/indiana-gop…
And Mitch Daniels is doing his best to get Mr. White's convictions reduced to misdemeanors so that — um — he can stay in office. But then what does White go and do? Allege that Daniels himself has engaged in the same type of voter fraud for the last ten elections or so.
Vote fraud in Indiana is the new Minneapolis Airport Toe-Step.
Oh, fer fucks sake.
May they all soon apply for unemployment assistance. And be turned down.
This guy is probably one of those conservatives that believe in Stephen Colbert.
Why is it that olds still can't seem to grasp the concept of The Onion – congressman or not? I see this kind of crap posted constantly on facebook.
He looks like a bad copy of an Adam West clone.
Does the Abortionplex have one of those ball-filled rooms like IKEA for the kids (that got away) to play in while I use my Groupon?
For $8 billion, you'd think they could've at least included a drive-thru.
I bet he's upset about this too. And also.
TERRI SCHIAVO LIBEL!!1!
You laugh, but the number of well-meaning Church Ladies who emailed me the "Harry Potter Sparks Rise In Satanism Among Children" story was truly frightening. http://www.theonion.com/articles/harry-potter-boo…
Yay! I can get my next abortion in 3-D!
Costs $2.00 extra, though.
The next Facebook posting by John Fleming is that he'll be joining the Westboro Baptist Church at the Topeka Abortionplex this weekend holding up a sign that says "God Hates Fags."
Westboro were picketing a school in St. Louis, this morning http://www.ksdk.com/news/article/301949/3/Counter…
Well, hey, they wouldn't print it if it wasn't true!
Somebody already said it: what a maroon!
I always order abortions in advance at UnPlanDango.com. That way we can skip the long lines at the AbortionPlex, and even have time to get popcorn and candy before our abortion starts!
Still, some people remember when it was perfectly respectable to wear one on your belt
Did that Onion article run last year? Is this idiot stick just now reading his emails from then?
If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
Can you imagine, the proud father, taking his son for the ceremony of his first abortion? "Today son, you are a man," he would say, with tears in his eyes, and they would hug. You ain't kiddin it would be a sacarament. Just like "first whore day" is now, for the upper upper class types.
Mazel tov, also. & whatever Kunta Kinte's father said after the "manhood ceremony".
The #1 pickup line would be, "Don't worry, baby, if I get knocked up I'll take care of it."
The only thing this nimrod would get more bent up about is if the Onion ran an article: Obama to Cut Bush/Obama Tax Cuts!
8 billion dollar abortion complex? So…men are able to get pregnant now?
An intern needs to stand between this moron and his Tweeter.
All right, now were any of you Deviated Preverts responsible for this Yelp "Abortionplex" Profile?
If so, High praise, Indeed. Now I'll bet there will be Outraged Tweets from Governor Brownback about this.
When I came to Madison, a couple of decades ago, I started to pick up the Isthmus and the Onion every week and have ever since. They're were free then and they're still free!
I don't know an alive person that hasn't at least heard of The Onion,
Except this guy. Thank God he's Republican.
i took my girlfriend to their drive through abortion but the line was too long, so we went inside and she got hers at the counter while i rented another dvd at redbox.
It's a curious position being taken by the tea party/conservative movement– the idea that a college education is a waste of time and that intellectuals are elitists and should be shunned. Santorum, Bachmann, Perry, Palin, Beck, and other reality-challenged politicians and pundits such as Fleming have embraced ignorance of the modern world, and they regard a distrust of the well-educated as an attribute to be used in their desire to be perceived as "just one of the common folk" … albeit very wealthy common folk.
Lord knows we don't want our children to go to college and have their heads filled with all kinds of IDEAS. Before you know it, they'll be thinking for themselves, challenging the status quo, and developing new points of view.
And we certainly don't want our national leaders to be eloquent, scientifically literate, and generally well-informed about the world in which we live. Much better to derive scientific theories based on the teachings of the Bible, and to form national public policy based on the rumors, gossip, and unverified anecdotal accounts described in supermarket rags, online blogs, and yes, even blatantly satirical pieces.
An Abortionplex is a great idea because if your abortion is starting to get boring, then you can always sneak over to the abortion next door…
How embarrassing–all his colleagues were outraged/confirmed as idiots over this last year. Talk about being late to the abortion party.
those vacant eyes, nothing at all behind them…
What century is that haircut from?
these kind of people should have been washed up when Katrina hit the shore
"….seem like” an idiot." Hmmmm. Looks like one, too. Kinda makes you wonder who actually voted for this person. No, I don't want to think about that, way too depressing.
Well it's the chocolate smoothies that are made by Santorum.
With genuine santorum in every glass!
Ha!
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