SIGH  5:05 pm February 6, 2012

One Month Later, Half of U.S. Forgets Iraq War, Wants New War (With Iran)

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Oh, so the war in Afghanistan is supposed to end soon-ish, like next year, maybe? Sure, we’ve done a pretty good job leaving that country on the brink of yet another horrifying civil war, NEXT. It is now Iran’s turn to be liberationed! Forty-nine percent of Americans, which for you statistically-minded folk means “probably at least one or even multiple people that you know,” believes the United States should start a preemptive war with Iran despite otherwise appearing in possession of the requisite faculties to breathe, eat, take a shit and respond to basic questions from a pollster that should denote sentience. Kind of weird, right!? Also weird: Americans felt as recently as November of last year (by a two-to-one margin) that other famed preemptive war “the Iraq thing” was a really awful waste of human life, money, human life, human life, time, etc. But HELLO, it is February 2012 already, and the troops are home since December! Which means it is time to send them all back out again.

The Hill went out and asked registered voters, “Should the U.S. be willing to use military force to prevent Iran from getting nuclear weapons” and got this:

Forty-nine percent said military force should be used, while 31 percent said it should not and 20 percent were not sure.

Sixty-two percent of likely voters said they were somewhat or very concerned about Iran making a terrorist strike on the United States, while 37 percent said they were not very concerned or not at all concerned about it.

Oh neat, this is basically about the same percentage of people who supported invading Iraq in October 2002 over their special super secret mystery cache of nuclear weapons weapons of mass destruction. Which proves that about half of the United States is in favor of total constant war, forever. Ha ha, which also reminds us: your Wonkette would like to see a constitutional amendment barring any American from supporting a war against a country that that person cannot locate on a map (without the help of Google search, no cheating). ETERNAL WAR OVER, JUST LIKE THAT!

Meanwhile, House Intelligence Committee member Michele Bachmann is trying to warn everyone that actually the problem is that Israel is being targeted by the U.S.:

“Any nation has to protect the safety and security of their people,” she said. “It is the nation of Israel that is being targeted by Iran, as well as the United States. We need to be vigilant. The Israelis need to be vigilant. And I think they’re taking prudent steps to keep their people safe.”

Or, it’s just another one of her losing battles with English syntax. [The Hill/ Bloomberg]

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Hola wonkerados.

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Sassomatic February 6, 2012 at 5:09 pm

If it weren't for eternal war we'd all be speaking MUSLIN!!1!!!

ProgressiveInga February 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm

We have to fight them over there,……… you know the rest.

widestanceshakedown February 6, 2012 at 5:29 pm

. . .we shall emerge victorious, etc. . . .

HistoriCat February 6, 2012 at 6:26 pm

… greeted as liberators.

Loaded_Pants February 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

They'll love us as our drones kill their children & level their houses!

Negropolis February 7, 2012 at 2:49 am

…so that we can then win their hearts and minds…

MilwaukeeKent February 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm

And there…and over there…and this other place, there too.

Biff February 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

My mother used to sing this song, though she wasn't born until after "that" war ended, and before the next one, the big one.

YouBetcha February 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Invading a sovereign nation under false pretenses, spending money we don't have, with no plan in place? Sure. Why not? What could go wrong?

Nothingisamiss February 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I say we vote in a republican that really knows business. That should help, too.

memzilla February 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

"Should the US posture in such a way as to escalate tensions over control of the Persian Gulf — through which 20% of the world's oil passes — and cause Exxon's profits to quintuple overnight?"

Not like the US has ever rattled this type of saber for this type of reason ever before. No, of course not.

Biff February 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I'd suggest that the USAmerica government should buy up all the stocks in all the oil companies, problems solved!

V572 & friends February 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Cognitive dissonance is so 20th century. We don't remember any of our past mistakes, and are therefore free to make more of the same ones. Plus Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Bechtel, Dynacorp, Parsons, Xe, etc….lotta jobs there, dontcha know? What're are their employees ever going to be in favor of if it isn't more war.


And all those maimed kids at your local Fisher House — they still believe, it's sad to say. The beauty of conscription was that it got assholes like me in the military, where we could say, "Hey, this is all bullshit! Why are we doing this?"

I was quite good at that.

memzilla February 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

So your friends also refer to you as V572Article15?

V572 & friends February 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Close…see below.

Lascauxcaveman February 6, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Okay, V572, go sit over there on the Group W bench.

V572 & friends February 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm

No one remembers this but a few of us, but a hospital near Hanoi called Bach Mai fell under an “errant” string of 500-lb bombs from a B-52 on the night of December 22, 1972. The patients had been evacuated but 22 nurses, doctors and pharmacists were killed. The US government’s official story was that North Vietnamese antiaircraft missiles had crashed and exploded there after missing their targets. I had an aerial photograph that showed the unmistakable chain of craters from an “Arclight” strike, and wrote a letter to Nixon saying he (or his mendacious Pentagon spokesman Jerry W Friedheim) should quit lying about this, and that they could tell from my return address that I was in a position to prove they were lying.They did, probably coincidentally, since nothing happened to me.

tejanojim February 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm

They got my cousin, which I didn't expect. He went in and volunteered, they trained him up good and sent him somewhere "desert-y". Now he's back home with a substance abuse problem, a discharge, and a suicide attempt. Fuck endless war.

Nothingisamiss February 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

But isn't the fact that "He's a hero," and "We have freedoms now" change his whole life into unicorns and ponies? No?

Fuck endless war.

GuanoFaucet February 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Jesus fuck, was McCain an ugly child.

GOPCrusher February 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I thought the Republiklan Mantra was that we have to stop spending money?

Baconzgood February 6, 2012 at 5:28 pm

War time economy is good. War never ever, in the history of man, put a nation in debt. Except all those times but once.

Negropolis February 7, 2012 at 2:51 am

I think you misunderstood. We have to stop spending money…on poor and blah people at home. Foreign stuff that's not aid? Yeah, that is totally necessary spending.

Local_Mojo February 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Got a little unfinished business in 'Nam to tidy up first.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm

So fucking pathetic.

The War Criminal Post hasn't even bothered to change the stories they used to lie us into Iraq, save for substituting the "q" with an "n".

Monsieur_Grumpe February 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I smell surge! It smells like stupid.

weej_bain February 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

That poll just drips santorum.

mavenmaven February 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Why not invade Los Angeles instead? Lots of Persians, and down in Tennessee they don't really care whose side they are on, browns are browns.

Sassomatic February 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Wat catz got to do wit dis?

HistoriCat February 6, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Persians are so damned snooty – I can't stand them.

Biff February 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Everybody loves to hate Los Angeles, but as soon as we attack and TV production halts and the 'tards can't watch their beloved Survivor of Dancing with the Bachelor, they'll lose their will to fight.

imissopus February 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm


chascates February 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

So this oil-filled country doesn't have weapons of mass destruction but might be working toward them.

They can have nukes OR oil deposits but they can't have both!

Swampgas_Man February 6, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Aren't we still waiting for the Oil Boom from the last oil-filled country?

orygoon February 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I can't forget Iraq because Mr. Goon brought home this new awful, terrible book about it from the library, which he reads by day and I read by night. The name of the book? The most damning words, evah: We meant well.

SayItWithWookies February 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I had a nice conversation a couple of weeks ago with a fellow (older than me, claimed to be a small businessman) who said we should attack Iran. I asked him if he knew that Iran had five times the area of Iraq and three times the population, and his responses were no and no.
Anyway, if some jackasses want to attack Iran, they're invited to go over there and damn well do it themselves.

BarackMyWorld February 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Not to take away the point of your story, but your relative size numbers are a little off, but close.

SayItWithWookies February 7, 2012 at 11:29 am

Close enough — 2.5 times the population, and almost five times the area. I should've prefaced it by saying that I'd asked the guy which country of the two was larger and he said he figured it was Iraq. So by General Eric Shinseki's calculations — which got him fired because he was right — it would take 1.25 million troops to occupy Iran. I still haven't heard a rightie mention how awesome that would be.

BarackMyWorld February 7, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Doesn't matter…he's probably not so good with the fancy numbers anyways.

fuflans February 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

when i hear 'small businessman' (and often 'doctor'), i usually tune right out.

they are so often walking republican talking points. with a big dollop of ugly ignorance thrown in for good measure.

ThundercatHo February 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

The Hoveround Cavalry crosses the desert. . . . . .

EatsBabyDingos February 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Iran banned "The Simpsons" today. We should send them Kardashians and take no prisoners. Pork rinds for Allah!

poorgradstudent February 6, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Oooh, send them the Jersey Shore people too! And tell them they're spies!

SorosBot February 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm

With the constant vitriol and violent rhetoric about Iran coming from two nuclear nations, one of which is the most militarily powerful country in the world, I have no idea why they'd want to develop their own nuclear deterrent,

Nothingisamiss February 6, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Listen, there's no tellin' what them EYE-rackies-er-rannies are thinkin'. They's Muslins! We don't need to figger 'em out.

Swampgas_Man February 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Nukes for me but not for thee.

Loaded_Pants February 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

As I like to point out, there's only been one country that has ever used nuclear weapons. Guess I'm one of those Un-Americans (Negative-Americans?)

Negligently_Joe February 7, 2012 at 7:32 am

But you're forgetting! Iranians are Muslins, and thus have a concept in their religion called Martyrdom, which makes them Unpredictable and Scary.

Unlike Christians, whose entire religion is most certainly not predicated on a single act of martyrdom, and Catholics in particular, who definitely did not proceed to create an entire Expanded Universe of people who were granted superhero status because of their martyrdoms.

SorosBot February 7, 2012 at 9:41 am

And the Muslims of course have the concept of jihad, or holy war, which Christians have never had, no never.

Note that this was the argument someone used in a letter to the editor in my local paper in the run-up the the invasion of Iraq – of course it took me too seconds to go "a duh, crusade you fucking moron".

Negligently_Joe February 7, 2012 at 9:44 am

This is also the literal argument that Sr. Frothy has been using during his campaign, including during several major debates. And he's a Serious Candidate, who's competitive against Romney in several states! I think American politics may really just be over the cliff already by this point.

Baconzgood February 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Peace forever with the Federated States of Micronesia!!!!!!!!

Chichikovovich February 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

The Iran question is pretty vague, and people could understand it to mean "Are there any circumstances you can imagine, that would involve Iran arming itself with nuclear weapons, which would call for military action"? That's a tough call, especially if you understand "willing to use" to mean "prepared to use it if other alternatives fail". I'm not sure I wouldn't answer yes to that question myself, understood in that way.

What makes me weep is rather the numbers in answer to the question:
Favor or Oppose Cutting Military Spending to Help Balance

For heaven's sake people – take fifteen seconds to look at a pie chart of how much money gets spent on the military as opposed to (say) PBS. Do you really think you're going to cut taxes and keep that number constant, or even raise it, by putting ads on Sesame Street?

Blueb4sunrise February 6, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Brave Chichikovovich, once again venturing into the realm of thought and reason .

Guppy February 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

You see "the military." I see "a federal jobs program that the GOP can pretend isn't." Nevermind how much of the defense budget actually goes to hardware manufacturers and/or mercenaries, "the military" gave Jim-Bob's nephew a job.

Negropolis February 7, 2012 at 2:55 am

It's vague because it's push-polling, plain and simple. It's vague by design. This is the same kind of shit pollsters did to sell a war in Iraq. You nudge them with vague questions about a vague threat knowing that Americans are nuts for vague threats and challenges to our so-believe authority as the world police.

Jaded[redacted] February 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

My new favorite word: "Liberationed!"

Loaded_Pants February 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Past tense of liberationing. Truly worthy of the Palin's vocabulary.

weej_bain February 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

She1ey thinks we should become vigilantes and sing Dear Prudence to the Israelis?

Schmannnity February 6, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Of that 49%, 67% were in favor of nuclear carpet bombing because we can't have countries using weapons of mass destruction.

MoeDeLawn February 7, 2012 at 9:12 am

…plus, nuclear linoleum bombing is waaay expensive.

littlebigdaddy February 6, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I say we start a preemptive war with Fuckwadistan, which includes a number of US states where these ijits live: AZ, TN, TX, AL (and AK too).

Callyson February 6, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Then we should hit microtargets: Michelle Bachmann's congressional district comes to mind…

Baconzgood February 6, 2012 at 5:22 pm

If you love Israel so much Michele Bachmann why don't you turn it un-gay and marry it?

{Does this mean we can send Chisel Face Shelly (my pet name for Michele Bachmann- because she needs to use a chisel to get all her make up off every night) to Isreal?}

Loaded_Pants February 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

I'm actually surprised that Michele loves Israel since they allow gays to serve in their military.

ManchuCandidate February 6, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Oh for fuck's sake, does this mean Bill Kristol "Meh" is going to relevant again? Speaking of the un(career)dead.

widestanceshakedown February 6, 2012 at 5:24 pm

The only reason I would fight in Iran would be for a hot gay war husband, but I'm destroying America rather well with the not-husband I already have,

SorosBot February 6, 2012 at 5:24 pm

An’ here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice

Biff February 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Oh, Mama
is this really the end?

Ansnarkist February 7, 2012 at 8:48 am

I could really use some Texas medicine and railroad gin right about now.

Chichikovovich February 6, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Sixty-two percent of likely voters said they were somewhat or very concerned about Iran making a terrorist strike on the United States,

As the British found in Northern Ireland, shipping over the military in force really cuts down on the terrorist attacks, there and at home.

SudsMcKenzie February 6, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Evidently Middle East wars are just like Chinese food.

Baconzgood February 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Mmmmmmmmm Mid East Chinese foood. GAAAAALLLLLHH

Negropolis February 7, 2012 at 2:59 am

Filled with MSG?

Nopantsmcgee February 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

More liberal junk "science". That poll only goes to 100.

DonnyKerabotsos February 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Whoa…is half-time over already?

Lascauxcaveman February 6, 2012 at 5:27 pm

USA and Iran ganging up on Israel? LOL Mish-one-el, that's like the Wanderers and the Duckie Boys ganging up on the Baldies. Ain't gonna happen.

ph7 February 6, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Death springs eternal!

DerrickWildcat February 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm

'bout time we get our flowers and candy.

slowhansolo February 6, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I'm probably going to die soon anyway so, you know, fuck it.

anniegetyerfun February 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm
qwerty42 February 6, 2012 at 5:43 pm

…Sixty-two percent of likely voters said they were somewhat or very concerned about Iran making a terrorist strike on the United States…
WTF? Will Iran use land- and sea-based ICBMs, long-range bombers or will they just send their fleet with several aircraft carriers off to attack coastal cities?

Well, since
History repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.
Karl Marx

I guess we should expect great wailing and moaning about the horrible, horrible danger we are in. Then we attack Iran. But, of course, they welcome us. Or some such fantasy.

Swampgas_Man February 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

W/ flowers and Hershey bars!

Guppy February 6, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Fine. Whatever. Just so long as we implement an Israeli-style draft to fight it and pay for it with a drastic increase on capital gains taxes.

I'm tired.

snoopyfan2010 February 7, 2012 at 7:00 am

When you say OIsraeli style you mean only the the real Americans who founded this country will fight, right?

johnnyzhivago February 6, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I'm all for a war with Iran as long as it's more exciting – and better TV than the Iraq mess. It also has to be shorter – 8 seasons – come on! and most of all we have to be winning or else it gets really boring.

poorgradstudent February 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm

I've been finding it really useful to conceptualize the US and Israel relationship by way of Al and Peg Bundy.

"Aaaaaaaaaal, I don't like the way Iran's been looking at me. I want you to go over there and bomb them!"
"Peg! You know I'm going through a recession, and I just got done with Iraq. And don't even ask me about Afghanistan."
"Fine. Here I am, thinking about the best ways I can spend your money, and you won't even help me blow up a country, and by the way I saw you rolling your eyes at me when all I did was make a little suggestion about putting more settlers in the West Bank, and don't even think about…."
*Al goes back to thinking about his glory days in World War II. "Everybody loved me then. What happened?"*

Beowoof February 6, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Arlo Guthrie screaming kill, kill, kill, I wanna kill kill, and the military recruiter saying "You're our boy" just played in my head.

Most of these nitwits walk around like their tough cause their hired body guards of the military go and do the fighting for them. If one of those assholes who think war is a good idea had to show up, learn how to shoot and then go kill muslims, pacifism would be the leading movement in this country. Thus, I am supporting bringing back the draft and enlisting all the tough guys who like fighting so much. Let those guys go and have a ball and not sit back and watch someone else fight their battles for them.

Swampgas_Man February 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I'd like to add– anyone who's gone on record "supporting" torture, the marines who pissed on the dead or the psychos who hunted civilians for sport gets moved up to 1A on the draft.

snoopyfan2010 February 7, 2012 at 7:03 am

Robert Redford's Lions for Lambs (at least I think that was the name of,the movie)

Beowoof February 6, 2012 at 5:54 pm

As soon as a republican is willing to raise taxes enough to pay for it, I say go for it. Oh and draft their kids to do the shooting and dying.

qwerty42 February 6, 2012 at 5:56 pm

That's crazy talk!

Slim_Pickins February 6, 2012 at 6:01 pm

We'll need a warmup war. Syria, we're looking at you!

hebmskebm February 6, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Even today anybody who opposed Iraq from the start is seen as "not a serious person". Only those who were catastrophically wrong about Iraq can be trusted to lead future wars.

owhatever February 6, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Iraq is not the real problem. I saw a movie that may have been a documentary in which aliens are attacking the earth with big machines that cause explosions and deaths. If we cannot stop them even in a local movie theater, what chance do we have to survive as spices?

Swampgas_Man February 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

They sunk arr battleship!

CapnFatback February 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Unless we're very sage about, we'll run out of thyme, and then we'll all be tarragoners!

Negligently_Joe February 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Fortunately, I'm a seasoned veteran. Still, let's not resort to majoramtarianism.

C_R_Eature February 6, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Everyone prepare for "Operation Here We Go Again!

oh…in the case of Bill Kristol, etc.: Operation Here Your Kids Go Again!

Negropolis February 7, 2012 at 3:01 am

Needz moar Yakety Sax.

C_R_Eature February 7, 2012 at 5:54 am

Yes! There's plenty of Cowbell, now.

unclejeems February 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Bachmann–puts the intelligence in House Intelligence Committee.

To Bachmann–to make or write a statement so contrary to common sense, that even stupid people think the author is stupid.

Dashboard Buddha February 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

You know, Ahmadinejad may be crazier than a shit house rat. Plus, they're parading a cardboard poster of the Ayahtoldya around to "inspect" the military. So, the crazy is strong over there – must be the heat.

But, given all of that, one just needs to look at a map to understand that just because you're paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get you.

Biff February 6, 2012 at 10:22 pm

But according to your map, they're a blue state?

Dashboard Buddha February 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Sometimes you just have to go to war with the map you have.

Dashboard Buddha February 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

"House Intelligence Committee member Michele Bachmann"

Wait, what? How the hell did I miss that?

grace_nearing February 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

"over their special super secret mystery cache of<s> nuclear weapons</s> weapons of mass destruction"

Further downgraded to "weapons of mass destruction program-related activities" by Bush's second term.

BZ1 February 7, 2012 at 12:30 am

the folks that clammer for sending troops into harm's way, should ask a soldier

Negropolis February 7, 2012 at 2:44 am

I don't believe these numbers…because I don't want to believe these numbers. Surely, everyone realizes that a pre-emptive war with Iran is far worse than a nuclear Iran, right? I mean, we're not that forgetful, are we? We were really about to do this WMD bullshit, again? Really?

Obama better have balls when Israel attacks Iran, 'cause the very one thing he could do to not make me vote for him is to get twisted up in Iran. Israel can fuck off for all I care. With "friends" like that, who needs enemies?

BTW, if they start pre-emptive war with Iran, the military should just revolt. You thought OWS was bad, before, just wait until that decision.

Negropolis February 7, 2012 at 2:56 am

If we were worried about a terrorist attack funded by Iran, before, just wait until Israel strikes them. Talk about making your self less safe. How much better an example can you have of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

arihaya February 7, 2012 at 3:43 am

god i hate these people

ttommyunger February 7, 2012 at 6:57 am

Satan is such a fickle bitch.

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