Programmed for victory!Here’s some more awkward humor from the robot comedy that is Mitt Romney’s 2012 ascent to the GOP nomination: Mittens actually did worse on Saturday in the Nevada GOP caucus than he did back in 2008. This time around, “Inevitable Willard” got 50.1%, or a little less than his winning total back in the 2008 Nevada caucus. So, knowing that he was on the way to wrapping up the nomination, his loyal Mormon supporters in rural Nevada decided to … back off a bit. Another definitive win for the Multimillionaire of Moroni!

Richard Adams at The Guardian summarizes the excitement:

The final results are in for the Nevada caucuses, nearly two days after the events were held. Mitt Romney finished with 50.1% of the vote – slightly down on his 2008 result in the same state. Newt Gingrich came second with 21.1%, Ron Paul was third on 18.8% and Rick Santorum came in last with 10%.

None of the candidates are showing any signs of dropping out of the GOP race.

Wonkette commenter Tundra Grifter adds this actual insight:

The actual numbers from Nevada are bad for Mittens. There were 32,894 votes in the 2012 caucuses (caucii?) – 44,315 voted in 2008. That’s a steep fall-off.

How popular is Mittens? He got 16,486 votes this time vs. 22,646 in 2008. That’s a decline of well over 25%.

The more people know him (and the more attack ads they see about him) the less they like him.

It will be funny if Mitt loses the Utah primary, in June, to some write-in Muslim. [The Guardian]

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  • They were for Romney before they were against him

  • YasserArraFeck

    I predict that the "excitement" will continue to decline as Mittens campaigns in 2016, 2020, 2024, 2028………2032……….zzzzzzzzzzzz

  • nounverb911

    None of the Above/Reagan's Ghost 2012

  • DaRooster

    It was Trump… his endorsement took off a couple of points.

  • I for one welcome our new Mormon Overlords.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I do not.

    • horsedreamer_1

      I saw a Utah plate outside my gym, so I made a point to check for magic undies under workout clothes. Sadly, I was disappointed not to see any.

  • Especially humiliating, when you consider "Nevada” owns half of the sentiment – in writing – “NEVAr FORGET.” Apparently plenty in the area would rather forget your existence, Mittster.

  • paris biltong

    In all fairness, he wasn't taken all that seriously in 2008 so his opponents were not quite as vociferous as now. What I want to know is who those young Blacks behind him are. Are they laughing at him or with him?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Those are his robot Romnulan army. The're as funny as he is.

  • The alleged human form of Rom the Space Knight, just as exciting as the toy version of Rom the Spaceknight except less charismatic.

  • ttommyunger

    Ricky can't win his own State, Newt kicked out of Congress, Mitt managing to lose while winning, Ron Paul…well…..Ron Paul…. You can't make this shit up.

    • sarah_connor

      Winning is the new losing for delusional f***tards. See Charlie Sheen.

      • ttommyunger

        Sad but true.

  • proudgrampa

    Does this mean that next week they are going to do a recount and find that Santorum won this thing, after all???

    I think I am going to pour myself another drink.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      TAKE IT BACK. TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BAAAACK!! You did not mean to say that.

      • bagofmice

        You of all people should realize that a recount would be eponymous.

      • DeeJayKitteh

        But on the bright side, we'd get a headline that read "Santorum comes from behind in Nevada."

        • SorosBot

          Instead of bringing up up the rear.

  • Tundra Grifter

    The actual numbers from Nevada are bad for Mittens. There were 32,894 votes in the 2012 caucuses (caucii?) – 44,315 voted in 2008. That's a steep fall-off.

    How popular is Mittens? He got 16,486 votes this time vs. 22,646 in 2008. That's a decline of well over 25%.

    The more people know him (and the more attack ads they see about him) the less they like him.

    • MildMidwesterner

      The Wonkette-approved plural form of caucus is "caucs."

      • Tundra Grifter

        I remember Tom Wolfe's novel "A Man In Full:"

        "We're going to have a cactus."

        "Don't you mean a caucus?"

        "No – a cactus. All the pricks will be on the outside."

      • Limeylizzie

        In order for that to sound as I think you meant it to sound, I had to go all nasal and do a fake American accent, because with my accent there is no joke there.

    • peacemaker1942

      If anyone is interested in the facts, here they are.
      Nevada went from a primary to a caucus
      The first turnout was large, unorganized, involved many hours and kayos.
      As a result of the first caucus, the voting public are voicing their opinions against a caucus system of elections for a primary.
      How do I know? I was there and heard the comments.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Thanks a lot, BUZZKILL!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Wow. Nevadans not gambling. Did not see that coming.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I know what you mean. Quite a few Vegas apartments are rented furnished. The casino workers, addicted to gambling, don't have the money to actually purchase furniture.

      Many of those units are rented two weeks at a time – the landlord hopes to get part of the tenants' paycheck before they are lost at the casinos next door to where they work.

  • And all the sorted *tards are so very excited by this year's litter of candidates that comparing 2008 to 2012 we see Florida's turnout drop by 14% and Nevada's drop by 20%. Nomentum Mittens, Newter, Blimpmeister, & Fecallube have the Rethugs just a'quivering.

    • Tundra Grifter


      By my calculations (44,315 – 32,894 = 11,421. 11,421 / 44,315 =) it's actually 25.77%.

      If I wanted to lie, I would express the decline as a percentage of the 2012 vote. But I won't, because I'm not a member of the GNoPee.

  • Callyson

    Slightly OT, from the Guardian link:
    Herman Cain is being sued over his book This is Herman Cain. Not by readers unhappy that the book's subtitle – "My road to the White House" – turns out to be a gross misrepresentation of actual events but by the agency that snapped the cover shot and retains the copyright.
    I for one welcome these comedians' willingness to go the extra mile and keep America amused…

  • OzoneTom

    Hopefully the rest of the country, which is maybe 2% Mormon, will fall into line now that Mittens got 50% of the nutjobs In NV to cast their votes for him.

  • neiltheblaze

    More evidence that the Republican electorate continues to be jazzed about their awe-inspiring choices!

  • Callyson

    Meanwhile, from WaPo:
    In a general-election test, Obama leads Romney 52 to 43 percent among all Americans; more narrowly, 51 to 45 percent, among registered voters. Among all adults, it’s Obama’s first time topping 50 percent in a head-to-head matchup with Romney since July; it’s his first time ever above that point among registered voters.
    Seamus approves this message…

  • tealsheart

    Worst is better Bitches!

    • Tundra Grifter

      "I told her I wanted to make love to her in the worst way.

      And then I did."

  • OneYieldRegular

    Get a brain, Moroni! (meh, I've been wanting to use that forever, and have decided just to spend it now for the pennies it's worth).

  • "Vegas baby, Vegas!"

  • widestanceshakedown

    Has anyone considered that 25% of his 2008 voters have simply died of old age?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Or depression.

    • Banelm

      One can only hope

    • horsedreamer_1

      Inter & Molting in Las Vegas.

    • Tundra Grifter


      You mean like Boss "I wasn't wrong; I was misinformed" BlunderRush's listeners?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Wow…I really need to turn down the gain on my paranoia-meter. A few minutes I saw the message about the admins not allowing comments and I thought, now what?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Wow! It's almost like we're getting a better tomorrow, tomorrow just like we were promised!

  • The longer this parade goes on, the more it reminds me of a junior high school election for class officers. Mitt is the preppie baseball player whose dad is a dentist. Newt is the bully that ridicules the lunch ladies. Rick is the religious kid you kinda feel sorry for because his parents make him dress funny and won't let him be in health class because they show pictures of fallopian tubes. And Ron is the skinny guy from biology class who wears a short sleeved shirt and a tie every day but has very strong opinions that the school dress code is unfair.

  • "Multimillionaire of Moroni".

    What a great moniker for him! Kudos to Ken!

  • GOPCrusher

    I, for one, think that seeing these states having lower numbers of voters turning out for primaries and caucuses, is a very good sign.

  • mavenmaven

    Given the terrible economic situation everyone has fled Vegas, so there are less casino employees forced by their masters to vote Republican.

  • SorosBot

    The Republican voters just seem so dispirited and disinterested in their own primary this year; I love it.

  • The "missing" votes are hiding in the Cayman Islands.

  • MildMidwesterner

    It appears Las Vegas will once again put its chips on black in 2012.

  • Extemporanus

    When tallying votes, we need to consider the possibility that some of Mitt Romney's planets may not have reported in yet.

    Oh, wait…I'm thinking of the general. Nevermind.

  • MozakiBlocks

    Apparently former Governor John Sununu was on the idiot box this morning spinning this as a good thing:

    "In an odd sense when turnout is down, contrary to what you are hearing, people are satisfied with the winning and the candidate that’s winning. They are satisfied with Mitt Romney."

    The mind, it boggles.

  • CessnaDriver

    Nevada is a MORMON STATE!!!!

    Bugsy built the Flamingo out in the unincorporated desert because he was sick of having to bribe the Mormons on the city, county, and state level. That way, he cut out the city.

    (Look at a map of the City of Las Vegas).

    Bribery is OK as long as you properly tithe, doncha know.

  • MRjonz

    The Spin Cycle is eating up Slick Willard’s quarters. His spokesman John Sununu, under Bush the Elder the most corrupt White House Chief of Staff ever, said “In an odd sense when turnout is down, contrary to what you are hearing, people are satisfied with the winning and the candidate that’s winning. They are satisfied with Mitt Romney."

    • Tundra Grifter


      By that "logic" the big winners were Ricky Santorum and Dr. Ron Paul.

  • PhilippePetain

    "Well golly, why don't they just give the presidency to me, I mean it's supposed to be mine, shucks, you know?" LOSES

  • Tundra Grifter

    After submitting a couple of dozen Tips, this one was up within minutes. I'll be honest – it made my day!

    I'm now adding "Wonkette Contributor" to my resume.

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