Irani Twitter freedom fighter Rep. Pete Hoekstra of Michigan is running for Senate now and goddamnit he will win, after producing this comically racist ad about the job-stealing Asian clown ladies who talk funny and hope you die of unemployment.

Look at this Asian gal riding her bike through a burnt-over hellscape of plants and cocaine, directing her trash talk towards The Occident. She thanks Michigan Sen. Debbie “SpendItNow” for her fancy Asia job and then speaks some broken English: “Your economy get very weak. Ours get very good. We take your jobs. Thank you, Debbie Spenditnow.” Why hasn’t a robot death bird taken either of these people out yet?

And hooray, there’s a companion racist website dedicated just to this racist ad:

This is offensive. The universal bad political play on Debbie Stabenow’s name is “Debbie StabMeNow” and Pete Hoekstra should resign and go to Gitmo forever, along with this sassy bike lady, for coming up with something even lamer.

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  • nounverb911

    So do all those flyover people and people from Baaaahhhston.

  • jakegittes

    Meluvulongtime, Pete.

    • +2 (because I can only click the thumb once)

    • YasserArraFeck

      "We love you looooooonnngggg time" = Rethug campaign-speak
      "We fuck you ceaselessly" = Rethug govern-speak

  • Ching Chow Ling-Ling (to avoid copyright infringement from SColbert) say, "Petel Holksta furra shit"

  • That there is one right purty job-stealer.

  • MissTaken

    Oops, sounds like someone got refused service at the rub and tug.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Sad ending.

      • jus_wonderin

        Is that service called a "bobbit"?

    • SorosBot

      They probably found that his dick was too tiny to get a proper grip on.

      • tealsheart

        Hell if they can grip a grain of rice, they can grip that fucker

    • Not_So_Much

      He probably didn't know that one had only female employees.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Guess he didn't want to spend it now.

  • Flat_Earther

    The only thing missing was an offer of vaginal or oral sex for $2.

    • I think it was implied, because, Republicans.

    • RedneckMuslin

      Needs moar Soldier Boy sucky, sucky.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Where's the ping-pong balls?

  • memzilla

    Hey Pete Joke-stra: Anonymous and Lulzsec will be hacking your emails now, you racist piece of dung.

    The hypocrisy of a Rethuglican making hateful racist jokes about our Asian competitors, while at the same time supporting legislation to offshore American jerbs to Asia on behalf of their One Percent Masters — and killing legislation to help educate American workers so as to make them more globally competitive — is stunning, but not surprising.

  • jakegittes

    Notice how she's riding a bicycle, because? . . . Oh yeah. Asians are bad drivers.

    • Generation[redacted]

      She makes $2/week at the iPod factory. How could she afford a car?

      • jakegittes

        Who needs a car when you're chained to your work station and you're not allowed to leave the factory prison?

    • Guppy

      Because Beijing hasn't changed since Nixon went there.

    • spinozasgod

      and the Chinese are behind the UN one world order bicycle plot….

    • comrad_darkness

      Because their economy is going so well, the inflations has made it impossibrul to buy foods. Also, house prices sky high and traffic jams last for 15 days fucking straight.

      You know that wasn't filmed in China because the sky wasn't a purple puke brown with smog.

  • ph7

    Pete Hoekstra is Ah-so.

    • hagajim

      Beeg Ah-So

  • freakishlywrong

    Holy shit! Really? Goddamn. Has Malkin leapt to his defense yet?

    • WhatTheHeck

      I’ll have you know Malkin is a conservative, white, American woman.

    • SorosBot

      The right-wing does love their self-hating minority talking heads, who give cover for the racism they want to openly display but know they can't get away with. And Malkin's a twofer, since she is also a woman who hates other ladies.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Malkin will have this actress shipped off to an internment camp.

  • widestanceshakedown

    Has Malkin had work done?

  • SorosBot

    Now I know actors can be desperate for work, but really that actress should be ashamed of herself. And how how do you think Hoekstra will react – a defiant, "how dare you suggest my racist ad was racist!" or a classic non-apology apology of "I'm sorry if you were offended."?

    • Generation[redacted]

      I admire her work. It's a delicate balance to be stereotypical enough to sink the guy's career, while not so over-the-top that they choose another actress. Notice the straw hat behind her head, not on top, and how she judiciously chose to not use the fake teeth. The broken English in a midwestern accent? Spot on. You want the dog whistle, but you don't want to go full Mickey Rooney ala Breakfast at Tiffany's.

      She can look forward to a good future selling quack medicine in late night infomercials.

    • comrad_darkness

      He'll fall back on that republican standard of: "you're the racist one for seeing the racism in it."

      • One_Man_Band

        If you look on his Facebook page, this is already happening. He is also deleting any comments that call him out on this bullshit.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    I can't wait for Stephen Colber to mock this with his Ching Chong Ding Dong character. Too bad, the show is on break this week.

    • Geminisunmars

      Again! Sheesh – they take more time off than my physician.

  • Ducksworthy

    So, der Peter is in favor of tax breaks for moving jerbs to Asia, right? Or is that just for sex slaves in the Marianas?

  • Oblios_Cap

    There will be no happy ending here for Pete Hoekstra.

  • Oblios_Cap

    In his defense, they do seem to have stolen most of America's highly-coveted nail salon jobs.

    • Negropolis

      Mrs. Swan's Pretty Beauty Nail Salon FTW.

  • Tundra Grifter

    This making fun of the way Asians speak worked out so well for Shaq.

  • PsycWench

    Fortune cookie say "You have no shame".

    • SexySmurf

      In bed!

      • bagofmice

        Oh my… /Takei

  • Toomush_Infer

    Jokestraw – our Michigan answer to Minnesota and Wisconsin….and you thought we weren't competitive – it's halftime, baby!…

    • horsedreamer_1

      Sadly, I have family in the Mitten that will vote for Hoekstra. Because Stabenow, like John Kerry, is "the Devil".

  • Fare la Volpe

    Me Chinese, me play joke
    Me put racist subliminal messaging in political ad for Hoek.

  • Isn't Hoekstra the asswipe who declared in 2006 that Iraq really did have WMDs, after all?

  • His next ad will be called The Aristocrats!

    • Generation[redacted]

      It's a family values act.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Gah…this asshole and the people that fall for the ad make my fucking head explode. Who's fault is it that our jobs went overseas? Hmmmm, let's see. Reagan made it easier for companies to go offshore and as they did, people lost their jobs. Living now on reduced income, they turn to the Walmarts to buy stuff. Walmart bullies manufacturers into cutting costs forcing them to locate overseas thus pushing people even further down the income ladder. Lather.Rinse.Repeat.

    I hate them all.

  • GuanoFaucet

    The Year of the Racist.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Just what jobs does Pete think are moving to Asia? That young lady is riding her bike next to a rice paddy.

    Not to mention I'm missing the connection between Asians purchasing US government debt and jobs shifting overseas…

    • Geminisunmars

      Whadayawant? Logic?

      • Tundra Grifter

        I want that young lady's telephone number.

    • SilverTsunami

      But that rice paddy could be in Sacramento, California.

  • jakegittes

    Hoekstra's pissed because he specifically asked that the song "We are Siamese" from Lady and the Tramp be playing in the background and that the ad end with a big gong clash after her lines.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Or the not exactly pc ending "Everybody Wants to Be A Cat" to The Aristocats (the Disney cartoon, not the documentary about comics).

      A bucktoothed, round glasses-wearing Siamese cat playing the piano with chopstix and unable to pronounce "r' is somewhat stereotypical.

  • Pete "spend it not". Ha ha. I'll bet when Dubya wanted some unfunded wars this asshat didn't mind borrowing and spending a few trillion bucks from China. WAIT … I think I figured it out! When white POTUS borrows from China for war on brown people, it's numbah 1. When blah POTUS borrows from China to help Americans in Michigan, it's numbah 10.

  • ThundercatHo

    Needs moar Hong Kong Phooey.

    • BarackMyWorld

      But doesn't everything?

  • bflrtsplk

    Yes, but Pete, to those Asians, we Yankees talk funny, too.

    • Oblios_Cap

      And look alike, too, I'm told.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Yep, we're all like "meep meep beep beep argle bargle"

    • horsedreamer_1

      We talk real funny 'round here…

  • chascates

    It's not racism if you're making fun of furriners: it's patriotism!

    Seriously, didn't Pete Hoekstra get brain injuries when he was a lineman for the Detroit Lions?

    • Negropolis

      Nah, it happened when he tripped over his turtle fence.

  • BarackMyWorld

    It really should be pointed out that outsourcing manufacturing jobs to Asia doesn't have anything to do with federal deficit spending.

    So not only is the advertisement racist, but it ignores basic knowledge of macroeconomics.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Yes, but is the advertisement racist enough to distract from basic realities of macroeconomics? That's the true measure of success.

    • pdiddycornchips

      Wingnuts and the doofus army that votes for them don't do economics. I mean they do but only in their fantasy world where all things negative are someone else's fault and tax cuts for rich people magically fixes it.

  • MissTaken

    I'm finding this very difficult to turn Japanese to.

    • Guppy
    • SorosBot

      Speak for yourself; with the sound off to avoid the racist broken English, I find her rather fap-worthy.

    • PsycWench

      OT only a couple of weeks ago my husband explained that phrase to me. For some reason I had made it to 51 years of age without figuring out what "turning Japanese" referred to.

      • MissTaken

        When I was little I would run around singing the song completely oblivious to the meaning. I should ask my mom why she allowed that to happen.

        I would also sing I Touch Roses from Book of Love. Hmm.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    YOU'RE WELCOME NEWELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • paris biltong

    Wait till he releases his commercial opposing foreign aid to African countries, it's a riot with Sambos galore!

  • Data Exactly

    What braindead idiot spent good money airing it during the Super Bowl for all to refrain from the insipid sports spectacle for a moment to laugh their asses off at how crappy this comercial is?!? I mean, c'mon, it costs millions of now-Chinese dollars to air during the Super Bowl – and for this?!?

  • WhatTheHeck

    Is Pete also telling his constituents to have only three children, because every fourth child born in the world today is Chinese?

  • ThundercatHo

    "Spenditnow"? Really? You can't do any better than that, Pete Hooka?

    • PuckStopsHere

      If you knew Pete Hoekstra you would know the answer to your question is, no, he really can't.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Okay, on second thought I'm confused….is it Japan or China…the rice paddy could be either, but the fan says Japan, while China….? Where's Charlie Chan when you need him…?

    • And I was confused because I thought it was Vietnam!
      Or Korea?
      Or Thailand?

  • prommie

    Me so horny, me love you long time, Debbie SpendItNow!

    • Neoyorquino

      To be honest, Asian Lady did not stir my patriotism one iota. My loins, however . . . (Hmm. "Loins". I so seldom have the opportunity to use that word in a sentence).

  • I wonder what he's spending on his Senate campaign?

    Of course, he is saving by outsourcing the talent in the ad to China, I guess.

  • DaRooster

    So "Peter Stroksa-lot" is making fun of peoples names?

    • bagofmice

      He likes big Wangs and he cannot lie, you other Dongs can't deny.
      When a Peter walks in with a grin on his chin and Santorum on his face
      you get Hoek'd!!!

      We tried to YouTube stuff! But that stuff was rough! // (kinda weak, I know)

      My consultants tried to warn me, but that ad we got…

      (last line implied)

  • Baconzgood

    Me ruv you long time….Me so hoarny.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Me rub you wrong time…Me so Huckster…(fixed)…

  • freakishlywrong

    Jesus, and a racist, pack O' lies site to bilge this shit out. Oh, and "SpendItNow" is stupid, and, typically, not funny.

  • freakishlywrong

    Crouching Wingnut, Not so hidden Racism

  • prommie

    The jerbs went overseas because Bush I, Clinton, and Bush II dedicated themselves to removing all the "barrifs and terriers" in the name of free trade and the new global economy, which is a great economy for the finance industry, but for people who work for a living, not so much.

    • GOPCrusher

      Amazing that during this election cycle, the Republiklans are concerned about jobs going to Asia, when they spent the last 30 years telling Americans that it was Globalization and it is good.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Next up, Hoekstra opines on the difficulty he has concentrating in the UCLA library.

  • Callyson

    And yes, this clown *did* vote for the Wall Street bailouts.
    Spend – it – not…NOT!
    (God, didn't the "not" go out with the 90's?)

    • "Not!" lives on, at least in young furriners. My sweetly vicious Italian daughter has been home for a month and uses it constantly. At least it's cute in an Italian accent.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Since is target audience is, like Hoekstra, stupid, I think this stupid ad is spot on. Keep bringing the dumbass, Pete. Keep bringing it.

  • Werr, Pete. You white peopre arr rook a rike to us, too.

  • widestanceshakedown

    Debbie surf and we think she shouldn't.

  • An_Outhouse

    Asians Do talk funny. And what's with the vitamin deficiency yellow complexion? Eat something besides rice!

  • CountryClubJihadi

    What, no Ancient Chinese Secret, Bamboo Treatments or Ping Pong Balls?

    • chicken_thief

      Needs more "Banana Trick".

  • ThundercatHo

    So, the ginger guy is back 1 day and commenting on the Rmoney post has been disabled already?! Ok, which one of you guys used the "R" word?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Chi-Coms have disabled comments!!!!!!!!!!!

  • proudgrampa

    I guess the question is: who is more cretinous? The congressman who presumably "approved" this ad, or the voters who put him into office in the first place?

    • Beowoof

      It is a tie of ignorance.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I once saw Cormac McCarthy in concert once and he said the average Amercian could be eating a cheeseburger while sitting on the back of a cow and not make the connection.

    • bagofmice

      I'm Pete Hoekstra, and the two decade long foreign wars that failed to catch Osama but cost trillions of dollars and thousands of American lives approve of this message.

    • Negropolis

      Fortunately, he won't be getting back into office. He was the lord of a hyper-conservative West Michigan congressional district, and that is as high as he ever rose and will ever rise. He tried to run for governor and was rejected in the GOP primary for amoral, non-political Rick Snyder.

  • Radiotherapy

    What's funny here is they filmed this in the tiny little hamlet of Mai Lai.

  • prommie

    The good news is, Its Halftime in America, and these chinamen don't know nothing about football! Clint Rockne for President!

  • Gunner Asch

    Freddie Wong on the plusses and minuses of racial stereotyping:

  • If she got out of a BMW I'd be more pissed!

  • Beowoof

    When does Wall Street get its justifiable credit for sending American jobs to China? When go guys like Mitt Romney get the credit for the shit they pulled? Are Americans really willing to be continue to be that ignorant? Oh that last question just answered itself. Nevermind.

  • Guppy

    Gitmo for Hoekstra, but TokenEthnic has to star in the next installment of Chained Heat.

  • Yellow Peril Strikes Again!!! But isn't that more of a Japanese-ish font on the website. I guess it's like Muslims – Sunni or Shiite – Japanese or Chinese – does it matter???

    • bagofmice

      Shinto Libel!

      • horsedreamer_1

        I'd like to eat her Bento box.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Someone PLEASE tell me she's got a union card and a SAG membership.

  • mrsbitch

    Oh you guys, stop it right now. As a Michigander from Peepee's district, I can tell you now that when he was in office, the economy boomed — BOOMED I say! There were jobs all over the place. They littered the streets! All you had to do was step outside and take one. And they were GOOD jobs. Jobs with union protection and health insurance bennies and pay you could actually live on! It was wondrous. /rampaging snark

    Peepee's an AoGP.

    In cheerier and much more important news, I see my Intense Debate points are back.

  • Newell what's the password to crack your commments hack of Layne's Mittens post? I tried the usual Rumpledforeskin but it didn't work.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Was just thinking similarly. Imagine Layne repeatedly enabling comments, then Newell disabling,……. to infinity.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      What's the Wonkette record for most views without enabled comments…approaching 460 now.

    • bagofmice

      Intense Debate appears to be having synchronization issues. I would guess that the web service handling the page serving is having a bad day talking to the database storing the comments, meaning that things get written to the database, but the webservice never hears back and assumes a failure on the write operation, causing double posts and possibly configuration issues. This is pure conjecture of course, but it is the conjecture of a distributed app developer.

  • Sassomatic

    How did that girl escape from the dormitories?

    • SorosBot

      I want to know how she ended up speaking such broken English with the clear accent of a native English speaker.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Home schooled by Republicans?

  • mavenmaven

    Of course, hatred of Asians doesn't extend to U of Michigan's admissions committee, all too happy to recruit Chinese students if they are willing to pay

  • chicken_thief

    I can't wait to hear Rush hammer Hoekstra over this ad. Of course, Rush doesn't give a shit about the racism, etc, but will go ape shit that Hoekstra didn't use a Thai boy in the starring role.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    THIEF! She stole that top from the Ann Taylor supplier that employs her.

  • ph7

    But Hoekstra said the ad, which was filmed in California and featured an actress whose parents are 100% Chinese, was only insensitive to Debbie Stabenow. “The Chinese benefit from the recklessness of U.S. spending. It doesn’t criticize the Chinese at all,” he said

    Buckwheat's parents were 100% black, therefore his Little Rascals episodes filmed in California weren't offensive to blacks, either.

    • SilverTsunami

      See, it was filmed in Sacramento rice paddies! And Lisa Chan, the "actress" is Miss Napa County of 2012. Remember that the next time you go to buy an expensive bottle of wine.

  • Magister

    I haven't heard it pronounced “SpendItNow”. Don't agree with him politically, but coupled with the above ad, it could be a brilliant play for the barbershop and talk radio crowd. Though I don't know, even if the pronunciation were to enter the district's consciousness, it'll actually garner him more votes.

  • DesertTed

    Now get back in that factory and maykee more iPhones.

  • Steverino247

    No more "boom boom" for this candidate.

  • bagofmice

    Apparently I'm so high I'm posting double.

  • ttommyunger

    One thing this asshat is good for: having trouble bring up that loogie? Say "Pete Hoekstra" three times fast. ..Pete Hoekstra, the Republican Triple-Threat: Ugly, Dumb AND Racist.

  • Incidentally, has anyone done an Asian-American version of The Hollywood Shuffle?

  • ElPinche

    Hoekstra you go now, you been here four hour!

  • Flat_Earther

    GI too beaucoup… Ten dolla

  • tihond

    Too beaucoup!

  • illnoise

    I filed a complaint with YouTube that it was racist hate speech (because it is!). If it makes you mad, please go do the same.

  • spinozasgod

    remember when the right at least tried to be subtle? I miss the days of dog whistling….good times….

  • Extemporanus

    But Piet Hoekstra can't be a racist — he was born in The Netherlands.


  • You all are so insensitive! All those frightened white people in Michigan and there's poor Petey Hoekstra, bravely and single-handedly fighting back the invading Mongol hordes with their bicycles and their woven hats an' foreign-ness an' stuff. And you know how those right-wingers love a good racist! Who are you to mock and deprive them? Shame on all y'alls!

  • MiniMencken

    I have here in my hand right now a file on Piet Hoekstra. He is a card-carrying member of the Greater Niederlander Party and takes his orders directly from Princess Margriet von Oranien-Nassau and the rest of her gang of Paleis Soestdijk criminals! Piet is in hock up to his orange-colored ass to Big Tulip and wears wooden shoes when he is at home. He is a sucker on the tentacle of the Dutch octopus, feeling its irredentist way across the bottom of the Atlantic towards Nieuw Amsterdam and the Henrik Hudson River valley! Wake up, America!

  • Also, who cares what a racist foreigner thinks? Other than the GOP/Republicans/teabaggers/whatever they changed their name to in order to avoid being linked to their repeated failures/etc.?

  • And I will apologize to any Dutch folks for my initial comment of "that dirty tulip fucker" when I first saw this ad. Though if you all want to take him back, that would be really cool of you.

  • BZ1

    Where do you even start at the offensive scale- probably at minus a zillion, what a cretin to release an ad like that…

  • Tundra Grifter

    While defending his dumb commercial, Pete Hoekstra refered to the Senator as "Debbie."

    So he's sexist and a racist?

  • owhatever

    Pete can count on the Union, Hispanic, Gay, Poor, Unemployed and now the Asian vote. Anyone out there who has not yet been offended need only to wait a little while.

  • comrad_darkness

    Hoekstra in the original Dutch means something like people who live at the bend in the road above the swamps.

    He should visit the homeland sometime. Amsterdam would give him a heart attack.

  • comrad_darkness

    Debbie Spenditnow would like to provide our state with stimulus money so that you get a paycheck. While I, Pete Saveitnowforthenextchancetobombthebrownchildren would like your heat turned off because your ceo really really needs to make 500x your salary or he'll have a sad.

  • So the Hoekstra campaign is pushing back and saying that this ad is "definitely not" offensive to Asians. Being only the Wrong Kind of Asian, I really just have to take their word for it, at least until I have a chance to ask my best friend, who is a Professional Asian. (I'd ask my girlfriend, but she's just a part-time Asian)

  • Fucking, classy Pete!

  • pdiddycornchips

    There is only one way to prevent all of our jobs from riding away on bicycles and that's tax cuts for rich assholes.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Pete Hoekstra just tweeted: "People don't like my ad. Now I know how Leni Riefenstahl felt."

    • SilverTsunami

      It's implausible that Hoekstra would know who Reifenstahl was (but kudos, excellent historical reference!)

  • a_pink_poodle

    Hahaha, fuck you Pete Noekstra. You didn't need to have her speak in broken English nor even use Asia as a scape goat.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Tesco Vee has announced he is giving up.

  • Come here a minute

    More gong! The only thing that would improve this ad for actual Republican Senate candidate and current U.S. Rep. Pete Hoekstra is more gong.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Chris Hayes did a really good job substantively debunking this ad on "The Rachel Maddow Show" tonight.

  • DahBoner

    "We take your jobs."

    And robots will take yours, sooner than you think.

    Foxconn, which makes half of all consumer electronics in the world, has plans to replace some of it's workers with one million robots, within 3 years…

  • Soylent Green

    How much did it cost to fly a team to China, hire a hooker on a bicycle and shill out this commercial during Super Bowl air time?

  • Negropolis

    I'll forgive this California girl for selling her dignity for money if she promises to "love me long time."

    This is why Hoekstra is so far behind in the polls. Senator Debbie Spenditnow is drinking your milkshake, Pete.

    BTW, Pete is a native Dutchman. Someone needz to ask him and his parents for their citizenship papers.

  • schvitzatura

    Big Duke Six to Hell's Angels Four– bring it in napalm strike along canal and rice paddys.

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