flotus files

Michelle Obama Does More Pushups Than TV Lady, Wingnuts Furious

That's MRS. Flotus to you...For a brief moment, our First Lady Michelle Obama’s appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres show was all fun and games. Our FLOTUS danced her way onto the stage in her usual style and then sat down with Ellen to discuss (what else?) Barack Obama’s socks. The gossip is that Barack Obama does not pick up his socks! But our FLOTUS did not really go all the way out to the Ellen show to discuss the White House cleaning services. It was, of course, all about Let’s Move! and childhood obesity. And we would be very bored by this, except that this time, the jackets came off! Our Michelle revealed her workout secrets and then got down on the floor to demonstrate why everyone must fear the arms of America’s First Lady of Fitness. And then some right-wing people on the Internet used their personal mobility devices to drive across the living room to the ‘puter, to complain about the first lady’s “form.”

Michelle Obama must have known that everyone had been waiting for this display. Watch how she subtly brags about her workout routine, and then taunts Ellen DeGeneres by making fun of her “back issues.” That’s our Michelle!

And then some fitness experts from the Wingnut Republican Party (?) said Michelle Obama wasn’t really doing pushups at all:

  • Alright, just watched the video. They are not proper nose to the ground push-ups, but rather partial half reps. So, not quite as impressive then.
  • Not even close to a proper push-up….. well, maybe under liberal doctrine they are :)
  • Ha! Ellen let her win ’cause she likes to be on the bottom!
  • Why isn’t she doing those Push-ups at the White House instead of flying all over the country in a Government plane with Secret Service Agents, spewing for her Muslim husbands campaign at our expense.
  • Yes. Is it too much to ask for a First Lady with a little class and dignity? Nothing wrong with being “fit” and “athletic” but do you have to be an exhibitionist as well??
  • She got this way from the typical urban response to drive-bys…
  • [ABC News]

    About the author

    Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

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    • nounverb911

      I loved it when she knocked out Al Roker in the fake boxing match.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        That was fake?

        Damned bookies…

    • larryfinexx

      That Ellen is the afternoon Queen. You wouldn't have seen no Rosey O'Donnell doing no pushups.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Every day I love this woman more.

      Also, I am terribly scared of her arms, as they could easily crush my flabby neck.

      • Fare la Volpe

        …And truthfully, that just turns you on more, doesn't it?

        • Dr_Zoidberg

          Hey! Don't judge me on my fetishes!

    • Schmannnity

      I'd like to see Rush Limpdick drop and give 50 push ups.

      • YasserArraFeck

        Moby prefers to lie on his back and let the underage brown boy du jour do the bouncing up'n'down.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

        He did 50 nosepicks at the Stupor Bowl.

      • nonbeliever7

        A Rush pushup would be more like a demented repub's seesaw.

      • MissNancyPriss

        too busy picking his nose.

      • DaRooster

        "I'd like to see Rush Limpdick drop and give 50 push ups."

        (fixed)

      • SorosBot

        The strain would probably give him a heart attack – so yes, I'd love to see that.

      • chicken_thief

        That fat fuck trying to do push ups might knock the earth off it axis.

        • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

          I'll bet he sticks his ass out when he does

      • PsycWench

        I'd like to see him try, since my foot would be firmly planted on his back.

        • Schmannnity

          Watch out for that draft dodging polonial cyst.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Pretty sure he can do 1/2 of one pushup – the down part…

        • tealsheart

          Yeap!

          Pushing those pills down his throat, then, it up, up, up, awayyyyy

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha11!11

        pauses to wipe tears from eyes

        hahahahahahahahahah oh, please stop

    • Pragmatist2

      She has Madonna arms – except swarthier.

    • paris biltong

      OK, but what I want to know if whether she has "her" bedroom at the White House and if so, is it the same as where JFK balled little Mimi.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      So wingnuts think the black maid should pick up POTUS' socks? Except that POTUS should be a white Republican?

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      I was hoping for more bench-presses. Using dwarves.

    • CapnFatback

      Big deal–Newt Gingrich can eat twenty-five Push-ups before getting out of bed.

      • freakishlywrong

        He can crap twenty-five pushups.

        • CapnFatback

          He eats Push-ups and craps Fudgesicles.

      • GOPCrusher

        I lurve orange Push-Ups. Wonder if you can still buy them?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      I don't like to agree with wingnuts, but MO didn't drop to at least a 90 degree arm bend. As my old PE teacher/former drill instructor used to bark out… "Give me a right angle on your stick arms, Mr Candidate."

      That's why pushups are tough.

      However, I give MO top marks because she did push ups from her toes not knees.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Ok, I admit I had the same reaction.

        Barb Bush didn't go down at all, though, so……

      • proudgrampa

        Those jackass PE instructors, the ones who acted like Marine drill sargeants, totally turned me off to any sort of exercise. I hope they all died painful deaths.

        Sorry, didn't mean to sound so bitter.

        But Michelle is HAWT.

      • bagofmice

        What the Candidate said. Ellen gets a slight leverage advantage because she is shorter, but that means she has less muscle to work with. The energy expenditure is a logarithmic function of the joint angle, so moving from 90 to 89 is much more expensive than moving from 1 to 0.

      • HistoriCat

        True. Of course, she also has her hands wide, so she may be getting a different workout than a normal push-up.

        They seems to have the same point value in Fitocracy, so not sure if the difference is significant or not.

      • Dumbedup

        But…her back was very straight and her form was otherwise good. I guarantee Limbaugh could not do 25 pushups like those.

    • facehead

      And at that point no one knew, except Ron Paul, that this friendly contest of strength would blossom into an internecine race war, from which not even gingers would be spared.

      LOL NEWELL IS SO GINGER!

      But seriously, lol.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I'm shocked a right wing commentariator can tell the difference between a push up and Pull Up.

      • YasserArraFeck

        Ask Diaper Dave Vitter – he's a big fan of Pull-Ups when he's out on the town.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Ease of access, plus "I'm a BIG KID now!"

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      Nothing at all about exercising the remote control thumb, the most commonly injured muscle in America….

    • YasserArraFeck

      Sorry folks, I definitely saw the wires pulling her up and down – and, no doubt, George Soros was up there above the stage, pulling the strings.

      • Generation[redacted]

        It was CGI. George Lucas is in on the conspiracy now.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Acorn and SEIU, also too.

    • Nesnora

      Attempting this would literally kill at least two of the republican candidates. No snark.

      • EatsBabyDingos

        Do we get a choice? We are a democracy…sort of.

    • SorosBot

      And yet the wingnuts will still continue to call our First Lady fat, despite look at her, because they're racist fucknuts that way.

      • Nothingisamiss

        They are racist fucknuts. I mean…they are just racist fucknuts.

        • tealsheart

          They just love her so much that they are driven to hate her in such wonderful ways

    • freakishlywrong

      They watched a black lady and a lesbian do push ups? How evolved.

      • CthuNHu

        And then furiously denounced them to avert their tiny terrified minds from the tingling sensations being experienced by their shameful, shameful bodies.

      • tealsheart

        PORN LIBEL!
        (cause the visuals don't match the other chit zooming thru my brain)

    • Baconzgood

      THOSE ARE MUUUUSLUM PUSH UPS!!!!!!!!!

      • Nothingisamiss

        Shhhhh….

      • bagofmice

        To be fair, Ellen was going much closer to the ground than Michelle, and because of the way leverage works, and the self admitted politeness, was probably straining less.

        Seriously, going straight from the floor with your elbows at >90 degrees to 0 will take more energy than going from 45 degrees to 0. That's just math.

    • LabRodent

      Obama's one lucky dude. WOW!

    • freakishlywrong

      Why isn’t she doing those Push-ups at the White House instead of flying all over the country in a Government plane with Secret Service Agents, spewing for her Muslim husbands campaign at our expense.

      Focus on the prize, hater. Much simpler to say she's an uppity colored.

    • Baconzgood

      Even if she did 1 push up that would be 100% more than Rush Limbaugh ever did in his life.

      • PsycWench

        He damn sure hasn't done any push aways.

      • tealsheart

        LOL
        Yeah, Rush has a pusherMan, for his uppers.

    • LabRodent

      Your move Nancy!

    • Nothingisamiss

      Holy fucking shitbirds, those comments. Fucking stupid hate filled fucks.

      Last week I wasn't having a good day, and this week I may not be either. Fuck them all, I says! Our Flotus is the bestest, so suck it, haters.

    • EatsBabyDingos

      How awesome is Michelle? Rick Perry saw her fanny going up and down and almost went straight.

      • tealsheart

        …almost blew his cover…

    • vulpes82

      History's greatest monster.

      Also, these wingnuts actually watched that lesbo sanctity-of-marriage-destroyer on the TeeVee?

    • Fare la Volpe

      How dare that lady exercise in public [skarf, snarf, gobble]. Doesn't she know [burp] she's making a spectacle of her [poot] self?

    • MozakiBlocks

      They's just jellus! Jelly, jelly, jellus!

      Fuck 'em!

    • DaRooster

      "Is it too much to ask for a First Lady with a little class and dignity? Nothing wrong with being “fit” and “athletic” but do you have to be an exhibitionist as well??"

      Man I wish!

    • VinnyThePooh

      Michelle should have said "El Ahrairah never picks up his prayer rug" to get the Tightie Righties to shoot their televisions.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      Michelle as First Lady makes me (almost) proud to be an Amerikkkan.

    • nonbeliever7

      Well, to be fair, using freeper logic; 2+2 = OHMIGOD she's scary and black and a woman.

    • Goonemeritus

      I can see the Republican point, youth fitness and helping returning military personnel are controversial choices for a First Lady. What every American would prefer is Toll House cookie recipes and addiction rehab.

    • bagofmice

      Typical urban response?

      • littlebigdaddy

        I think it's wingnut code for blah.

    • MissTaken

      Yes. Is it too much to ask for a First Lady with a little class and dignity? Nothing wrong with being “fit” and “athletic” but do you have to be an exhibitionist as well??

      Um, I've seen a few exhibitionists in my life, and push-ups were definitely happening. Well, at least not solo push-ups.

      • SorosBot

        Oh great, now you've gone and stuck a certain image in my head again; yuck.

        • MissTaken

          Upfist for you!

          • SorosBot

            Ow.

    • ThundercatHo

      I will now do less than 25 push-ups in honor of our First Lady's arms. A couple of years ago I told a gym trainer that I wanted arms like Michelle Obama. She was too nice to laugh in my face although I later named her Maggie the Sadist (not to her face).

    • FakaktaSouth

      I am not even going to front – I did pull ups yesterday – real, honest to God pull-ups for the FIRST TIME in my 39 years of life. (I could only do 5, but I did them) It was a goal I had set and I achieved it and Michelle O being a grown up lady who is strong like this is what made me think I could do it now. I do not care what any fat ass redneck who is pissed off about tiny french fries in their Happy Meal thinks – she is wonderful, inspiring and anyone who has a problem with anything she is doing is LOOKING for something to bitch about. Rock on, First Lady, and thanks.

      • chicken_thief

        5 is damn impressive for the first time doing them. Then one could add all the other – "for a woman", "for a 39 yr old", etc.

        • FakaktaSouth

          For real! And thanks, cause I have busted my ass to be able to do it.

      • HistoriCat

        Wow – I wish I was up to doing 5 pull-ups (some day). That's really impressive.

      • ttommyunger

        You are to be commended. For your sake, do them daily. You will find them easy and fun when you get to ten or more. It will take months, but everyone needs to be able to handle their own weight. There is a female where I work out who routinely does over 20 on her first set. Goodonya!

    • ElPinche

      THESE COLORS DONT RUN , LIKE MY CHILDREN!!1!

    • chicken_thief

      "She got this way from the typical urban response to drive-bys…"

      Ya, back in the mid-70's when me, the white guy, was hanging around Cabrini Green in Chicago, whenever shooting erupted I always dropped into the push up position and whipped out 25 or so. But, of course, I did proper nose to the ground form….

    • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews cheaphits

      A friend of mine is visiting me from the U.K. and she finds it "liberating" that Michelle would do this – and that Sarah Cameron would be unlikely to.

      Good for us, but then again Prince Charles is probably unlikely to pick his nose in public.

    • PsycWench

      The gossip is that Barack Obama does not pick up his socks!
      Today I am Barack Obama and so is everyone who lives in my house.

      • vulpes82

        Today, we are all Barack Obama.

    • chicken_thief

      Lou Sarah gets her exercise the real 'Merikun way – clubbing fish.

    • EatsBabyDingos

      In their defense, most of the old white men at the GOP like to wear push up bras at "Dress Like J. Edgar Day." And calico dresses.

    • sarah_connor

      ok, so, what is the female equivalent of fapping? anybody? anybody? wonkette?

      • SorosBot

        Rubbing the pleasure button?

      • ttommyunger

        Slapping! (the monkey)

      • shrillharpy

        Tickling the bean?

    • Toomush_Infer

      What, no Rethug argument about the width of her stance?…

      • jus_wonderin

        That would be metaphorically throwing stones. They'd prefer to through real ones.

    • jus_wonderin

      Ya know, Michelle is a black woman, shouldn't she have challenged the white woman to a jumping contest????

    • tealsheart

      Looks like this won't help keep Ellen's as the JCPennys spokeswoman/person. A million moms are still called for the failing chain to fire her, or they won't spend anymore $$ on that 'cheap made in China chit'

    • WinterOuthouse

      Wingnut women only know how to bend over the arm of the couch so they can reach the chips and dip while their mate scoops out some of their warm guacamole.

    • ttommyunger

      Sorry, must. fap. now.

    • fuflans

      i was going to say that was utterly charming and i almost (almost!) feel sorry for the miserable lives these wingtards must live.

      then i realized watching that made my tennis elbow flare up and now i hate everyone too.

    • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

      Same retort: If Michelle could walk on water, the twits would say she can't swim

    • owhatever

      That woman is a bad influence on the children of right wingnuts.

    • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

      Little known fact; Michelle Obama punched Bin Laden to death.

    • widestanceshakedown

      For hours, days, weeks, months and years, the local carrion lived like kings.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Until they died of hate infused cholesterol.

    • widestanceshakedown

      The smart ones flew off him once the Vicodin buzz kicked in and after they had crapped up his nose.

    • yyyaz

      FTFW.