Question for the ages: Why do so many former Bush flunkies simply refuse to STAY FLUSHED? Ex-Bush spokesman Ari Fleischer, for example, continues to circle the Beltway bowl as a human resources intern or some such at the Susan G. Komen Foundation. What a mighty non-coincidence, indeed, that a refugee from the colossally failed Bush administration would find himself orbiting yet another organization collapsing upon itself like a stupid and inexplicably pro-life dying star. Marvel at your universe today.
Think Progress reports on Fleischer’s head-hunt for someone to clean up messes at Komen:
Ari Fleischer, former press secretary for George W. Bush and prominent right-wing pundit, was secretly involved in the Komen Foundation’s strategy regarding Planned Parenthood. Fleischer personally interviewed candidates for the position of “Senior Vice President for Communications and External Relations” at Komen last December. According to a source with first-hand knowledge, Fleischer drilled prospective candidates during their interviews on how they would handle the controversy about Komen’s relationship with Planned Parenthood.
It’s not clear what “controversy” Komen was trying to handle in December but fortunately legions of easily avoidable controversies just became available last week! Perhaps unparalleled strategistician Ari Fleischer could again offer his services?
[Founder Nancy G.] Brinker told affiliates Saturday that they would also be getting help on crisis communications from Ari Fleischer, a former White House press secretary in the George W. Bush administration. Fleischer said Saturday night that he had not been asked but that if he could help, perhaps he would.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? [Think Progress/WaPo]
{ 118 comments }
"Why do so many former Bush flunkies simply refuse to STAY FLUSHED?"
Because even sewer systems have good taste and can't stomach the teabagging bullshit..
I think maybe the Fleisher is broken.
Because they are NeoCon floaters.
Ari Fleischer is to success what Newt Gingrich is to fidelity.
Or dieting or honesty or pretty much everything good and decent.
He and Orly should form a band.
Newt's Gingrich and the Oily Taints?
What do you expect from a Bush Leaguer whose last name translates to "Butcher?"
He's no Scotty. I liked Scotty myself. When he lied it was like a cute little cabbage patch kid was lying to you.
Right? Scotty, you almost wanted to pat him on the head.
Ari, you wanted to sock in the face.
I always liked Dana; sure she was so stupid she had never even heard of the Cuban Missile Crisis, but man she was easy on the eyes.
Yes; this is exactly what we want and need in a Press Spokespeoplepersonage.
I have to agree with SorosBot, you knew the Press Sec. was going to lie to you anyway, may as well have a cutie doing it.
The WH Press Corp was always too busy imagining her in her panties rather than ask tough questions.
Not that they ask tough questions anyway.
But she was (is) soooo stupid.
Not mine.
All the
TeatardsShrubtards gleeful to be wrapped in pink. Whodda thunk?Sharia Republicans!
Komen is over.
Heck of a job, Ari!
Komen over?
Could you bring some wine? I've got a nice cheese platter.
Throw in some baconz and it's a party.
And barbecued fetuses.
They did do some good through the years, I mean aside from making a breast cancer victim's sister insanely wealthy.
"My sister got breast cancer and all I got was this high-paying job!"
Hope this means no more pink baseball bats during October games. N
We'll never be rid of them, will we?
^Edit: Except of course, on the current on-going bumblefuck known as the "Republican Primary". There, not a peep.
Ari, the man who was able to single-handedly Fleisher Komen down le toilet! Good riddance. Komen is one of the worst foundations to give to in terms of how much they spend on administration vs. what they actually give in charity. Hope they rot in hell.
I think Komen's future is going to be decided in the next week or so. If they want to regain credibility, there are some people who need to "resign to spend more time with their families" and the first of these is Handel.
Keep the Mama Grizzly and the teatards and they're going to lose a lot of their steady funding and end up relying only on the religious zealots.
yup – living off your dead sister's memory – not a bad grift if you can pull it off
The CEO at Komen makes 5 million a year. I read it on the internetz.
"leischer drilled prospective candidates during their interviews on how they would handle the controversy about Komen’s relationship with Planned Parenthood"
Considering that they ended up creating a controversy about Komen's relationship with Planned Parenthood, I'd say mission accomplished.
Next up, pushing the Obama-hates-Catholics meme.
That needs to go on a banner somewhere.
Like Herpes, you can only hope to contain them.
Now we know who's been spreading rumors about the American Lung Association having weapons-grade anthrax.
Never trust a man named,"Ari"…or, "Fleischer."
We can, however, trust a woman named Ari Fleisher like our old Wonkabout.
Why do so many former Bush flunkies simply refuse to STAY FLUSHED?
For the same reason monkeys throw their shit?
To borrow a term from the UK sitcom Coupling… Ari's an unflushable. No matter how hard you try, beg, borrow etc that floater won't go down.
I personally think they're like Jason Voorhies of Friday the 13th et al. You can't kill them, but they come back to make an even shittier sequel about killing teens who have sexy time in the woods or the female ones who like to soap their boobs for 20 minutes.
Heckuva Job, Ari!
Look over there – it's either a missing white woman or a weapon of mass destruction.
No today's distraction is a black women possibly briefly giving the finger to the camera at the Superbowl.
You mean the StuporBowl wasn't enough of a distraction????
So who was the head of hair Komen sacrifice last week on MSNBC?…
Ah Do Declare! A former Bush official involved in something scummy and unethical? Heavens!
He'll be greeted as a liberator.
Men always do so much better at regulating women's sex lives!
If anyone knows how to do an abortion (on over 1 million Iraqi and Afghan children and adults, with Apache helicopters and M-16s) it's the Bush administration.
Options are open to the 200th trimester and beyond!
Heard at Komen: "We need someone who can create a fake firestorm of controversy for no discernible benefit. Get me a Bushie!"
I heard they are also adding that Italian cruise ship captain as a consultant.
You wait, that guy is going to be a Fox News consultant any day now!
Fleischer "drilled prospective candidates during their interviews." There's your story.
Ugh, right? One expects to be "grilled" by an aggressive interviewer, but "drilled?"
Ari is "Nein-nein-nein" Cain's role model
So his office is in L.A.?
Public relations doesn't seem to be his strong-suit.
Here are some other equally fitting jobs for the former Bush gang:
-Dana Perino, history teacher
-Karl Rove, fitness trainer
-Mitch Daniels, math teacher
-Dick Cheney, gun safety expert
-Alberto Gonzales, civil liberties lawyer
-Laura Bush, driving instructor
George W. Bush, war hero
Speech coach.
Substance abuse counselor.
John Ashcroft, singing teacher
Condoleezza Rice, dentist
Henry Paulson, accountant
Donald Rumsfeld, professional gambler
I would have gone with Don being a speach writer. He was so eloquent and concise in his statements.
Donald Rumsfeld, Cartographer
Colin Powell, ventriloquist's dummy.
Very funny, but snarks aside, your contributions to Komen help pay the salaries of Ari Fleischer and who know what other Republican failures.
Also, Dick Cheney, human
they would also be getting help on crisis communications from Ari Fleischer
He's doing pretty good so far.
Crisis 1, Susan G. Koman 0.
Keep that communication going Ari.
Women getting breast exams definitely qualifies as Terror Threat Level Orange.
We don' need no steenkin' Planned Parenthood – we got the TSA to give our wimmin's tits a reg'lar gropin'…..maybe the TSA should start doing house calls?
We must squash this threat quickly. And firmly.
According to Pete Hoekstra, you may have to downgrade that a level.
Especially if Boehner is doing the examining.
He learned that technique from the Bush DOJ, where they selected judicial candidates on the basis of being "loyal Bushies". Yet another Bush should-be scandal that has been obscured by the wars.
PsycWench:
Not to mention firing all those Federal attorneys because they were not sufficiently political – and then telling lies about it when they got caught.
The nerve of them, not finding any voter fraud to prosecute. They seem to have bypassed the need for prosecutability and just institute draconian laws that would have given Jim Crow a boner, constitution be damned.
What is all this fuss about Plant Parenthood about? Who wouldn't be in favor of a better variety of fruits and vegetables?
Was Ari brought in to clean up Handel's Mess………yeah?
His full first name is Ariah.
"Perhaps unparalleled strategistician Ari Fleischer could again offer his services?"
Job creation!
Or at least job security.
It’s too early to definitely call G.W Bush a failed leader after all wasn’t it his 8 years in office that totally reformed our view of his fathers term. Similarly a Newt administration could make G. W. look pretty damn good by comparison.
More to the point, he's doing a pretty good job of making mittens look good, which is what most voters will take into account this November.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Another former Bush administration asshole whom I hope rots in hell.
All of them?
Komen's business is boobs-gone-bad. Ari is a boob-gone-bad. This should have worked.
They promised "…help on crisis communications from Ari Fleischer,.."
At least it was something Ari had considerable experience with. Looking back on those eight years, the two Bush (43) Administrations were just one crisis after another.
Faux News, the Heritage Foundation, ALEC…. so many holes to hide in. Time for a through De-Baathification campaign.
I'm starting a list of all the Conservatards who will be transported, voluntarily or not, to Newt's moon colony. And this douche is one of them.
Talk about a 3-day walk(back) & 60 miles of bullChit!
The Bush team: What will they fuck up next?
Too bad Leslie Neilsen's dead. He'd be the perfect host for that show.
Former administration officials either become lobbyists or flunkies for corporations or foundations. Why can't any of them get a decent job?
It takes some real talent to get people on both sides of the issue so pissed off that they both are refuse to donate to a cancer charity. Nice work. How's about helping out with the presidential campaign after the primaries?
That fucking administration is the herpes of our generation.
Without all of herpes' redeeming qualities.
What a boob.
And I am hating myself yet again for ever running in the Races for the Cure that I've been in. Wish I could get that money back.
I walked one year in the 3-day, 60-miles thingy. Raised a few $$, but now time, efforts & $$ going elsewhere.
Komen is lucky they didn't end up invading Equador.
Whatever they end doing it will always be Missions Accomplished!
Ari the only person to get a negative score on his SAT's and not be institutionalized.
Now that the Bush economic policies are finally leading to job creation, its time for the Bushists to surface and take credit.
Sounds like the "emergency" that brought Fleischer to SJK was the fear that Nancy Brinker might not get appointed to some sweet Republican bullshit gig without proving that she is as cruel and batshit as the rest of them.
Ari interviewing in 2011:
"How would you handle the Planned Parenthood controversy?"
"What controversy?"
"The one we are about to create."
Ari being interviewed in 2002:
"How would you handle the disastrous situation in Iraq?"
Little-known fact: "Ari" in Hebrew means "Lion" or in this case, "Lying". Nice to see this talking penis is still around; I feel better knowing fuck-ups are still in the game on the other side.
"…unparalleled strategistician Ari Fleischer…"
You mean "strategerie-istician"?
Now, to be fair, Ari Fleischer was not the architect of Bush's failed, shit-for-brains policies that any second grader could see were bad ideas. That was the genius turd blossom, Karl Rove. Ari was just the shameless mouthpiece who lied about Bush's failed, shit-for-brains policies that any second grader could see were bad ideas. Big difference.
Am I the only person who is disturbed by the fact that Komen et al. keep referring to their non-profit as a 'brand'?
No, you aren't. There are at least two of us.
That corn-flecked floater Ari keeps rising up through the fecal stew doesn't he?
Reaganites are still in positions inside government, for fuck's sake! We'll never be done with them, ever!
What a shock: a despicable remnant of the Bushies shows up as the backroom wizard who picked an attack dog
Ari was hired because he is a boob himself.
Old Russian Proverb: "Whether the water is salt or fresh, sh*t floats."
Ari, Ari, quite contrary,
how do the tumors grow?
"With royalties & sponsorships
& pink ribbons all in a row."
WTF Ari? Pro-life? Please, who do you think your kidding… anyway head bobbing the lifers aint gonna give you priveledge in teh establishment, unless you plan on making aliyah like your supposed to!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Check out what Komen is really all about: http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/Articles/2012/02/03...
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