BECAUSE OF COURSE  1:24 pm February 3, 2012

Komen Charity Reverses Weird New Pro-Breast Cancer For Poors Policy

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

But Jesus loves it when poors get cancer!Have you heard about the strangest new craze in breast cancer charities, the kind that doesn’t actually want to fight breast cancer? This for a brief period was the Susan G. Komen Foundation, the behemoth breast cancer research charity always running around madly putting pink ribbon stickers on everything from yogurt cups to professional football players, after they inexplicably hired rabidly anti-choice wingnut Karen Handel to the Senior VP of Public Policy spot last year (following Handel’s failed run for Georgia governor despite/because of Sarah Palin’s endorsement, hahahah). The foundation then decided they didn’t want to pay Planned Parenthood to help low-income lady people get free breast cancer screenings anymore, in case the ladies might accidentally get an abortion on the way down the hall to the mammography machine. And THEN they lied to everyone about the reason for the decision and said it was because some wingnut Congressman in Florida is “investigating” Planned Parenthood and they can’t give money to organizations being fake investigated by nutjobs. BUT NOW that is all over with, HOORAY, because as soon as the Internet found out about all this a few days ago, it also made a decision, to stop giving money to a pro-breast cancer charity and give all their monies directly to Planned Parenthood instead. So Komen has come back to say NO WAIT DIDN’T MEAN IT WE LURV PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

Here’s the official “shit, sorry” statement from their website, via the AP:

Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation. We will amend the criteria to make clear that disqualifying investigations must be criminal and conclusive in nature and not political. That is what is right and fair.

Our only goal for our granting process is to support women and families in the fight against breast cancer. Amending our criteria will ensure that politics has no place in our grant process. We will continue to fund existing grants, including those of Planned Parenthood, and preserve their eligibility to apply for future grants, while maintaining the ability of our affiliates to make funding decisions that meet the needs of their communities.

Moral of the story: do not hire Sarah Palin’s friends to run any kind of organization that is meant to help people, children! [AP]

 

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{ 323 comments }

southernbeale February 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

It's bullshit, they're just spinning. They haven't changed anything.

chicken_thief February 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

It is their third version of "Why We Pulled the Plug" in past day or so.

freakishlywrong February 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I'll be making my third donation directly to PP.

donner_froh February 3, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Even if they plan not to fund Planned Parenthood in future years (most likely the case since their board has been taken over by fundy assholes), PP has the time to replace that grant they will no longer get.

Still a dick move by Komen but less harmful for Planned Parenthood.

chicken_thief February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I saw that, oddly, donations to BOTH groups have skyrocketed. I think (hope?) in the long run PP will be able to maintain their funding while Komen will drop off.

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:44 pm

This is what they *have* changed: their desire to keep sucking GOP ass so publicly.

This doesn't mean they will STOP sucking GOP ass any time soon. But you can be sure they'll be investing in heavy-duty privacy screens to shield any such ass-suckery from public scrutiny.

This organization spends, what, 20% of its intake on "the cure," 25% on administration costs, and the remainder on suing the shit out of small businesspeople and publicity-whoring. If you're serious about a cure for cancer, there are LOTS of other organizations that will be happy to take your money and actually give a lot of it to researchers. No need to jump through their fucking hoops.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:02 pm

"This organization spends, what, 20% of its intake on "the cure," 25% on administration costs, and the remainder on suing the shit out of small businesspeople and publicity-whoring. If you're serious about a cure for cancer, there are LOTS of other organizations that will be happy to take your money and actually give a lot of it to researchers."

Forgive me for repeating information I've posted before, but it's worth knowing. A friend of mine worked for the American Cancer Society, and was calling to solicit charity purchases (you know, buy this thing and X% of the proceeds go to charity), and one of the people she called was skeptical:
Friend: What, you think the American Cancer Society is running a scam?
Skeptical guy: Well… No… But you must have expenses; I mean, you gotta pay rent on an office, you gotta pay phone bills — some of the money must go for that.

Long story short, ANY charitable organization is required by law to disclose where their money goes. If you request that information, they have to give it to you. So if you have any doubts or questions, you can easily find out.

Tundra Grifter February 3, 2012 at 3:21 pm

tessiee:

It must be reported. But there are still tricks. For example, who here has not gotten some sort of "Survey" from a charity? It always includes a plea for money, doesn't it?

Yet because it is a survey, or includes some information about the cause, the charity can report the expense of sending it out as part of its core mission and not a "fund raising" or "admin" line-item expense.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 3, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Komen's line about "contributing to breast-cancer awareness" is double-speak for their junk-mail division. Throw in a "Four things you should know" leaflet, and the whole package (and the postage) is "educational" — even if 90% of what's in the envelope is fund-rasing pitches, lottery tickets, order forms for pink swag, and pre-addressed return mail envelopes.
There are a number of bogus "charities" run by shitstains who pay themselves and their immediate-family "executives" handsomely, and spend the legal minimum on exactly this sort of "educational material."

GOPCrusher February 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I honestly believe that they believed the Christofascists bullshit about they represent the majority of Americans and the majority of Americans want an end to Planned Parenthood.
Once the dollars going away exceeded the dollars coming in, they realized that they fucked up.

ChernobylSoup February 3, 2012 at 1:26 pm

And here I thought "surrender the pink" meant something completely different.

Texan_Bulldog February 3, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Looks like you & I are the only ones (possibly in the world) who read Carrie Fisher's book.

Nothingisamiss February 3, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Loved that book.

ChernobylSoup February 3, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I hear Paul Simon read parts of it.

comrad_darkness February 4, 2012 at 10:18 am

I read it. Before it was cool. My memory isn't that good. So I could read it again and enjoy it just as much!

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Slut.

I say that, of course, with admiration.

Barb February 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

There is no better way to prove that you are pro-life like allowing people to have their breast cancer go undetected. Take that, poor tumor carriers!

chicken_thief February 3, 2012 at 1:31 pm

For freedumz!!!

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Please. It's no long "cancer". It's "Freedom Cells. "

widestanceshakedown February 3, 2012 at 1:51 pm

It's like the free market on a cellular level.

Generation[redacted] February 3, 2012 at 1:56 pm

We need a law to ensure that tumors are not served as food according to Sharia law without first looking at a sonogram.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Freedom cells are the Bain Capital of the microscopic world.

JustPixelz February 3, 2012 at 2:12 pm

In the current Repubican formulation, that's "Freedom Sells". And at these low, low prices taxes who can resist some sweet, sweet freedom*.
____________________
* special offer: go off your medication and get a $900 iPad

anniegetyerfun February 3, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Cancer cells are just regular cells that have gone Galt.

starfanglednut February 3, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Wiiiiiiin!

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Well consider that the "pro-life" are also actually against a vaccine that would prevent most cervical cancer; I think the only conclusion it that yes, they are the pro-cancer movement.

BigDumbRedDog February 3, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Everybody knows that cervical cancer is jeebus's punishment for doing the nasty. It's in the bible. I think it's one of the 11 commandments. Which means preventing it is playing right into the devil's hands.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Yeah, the forced birthers think that any woman who has sex without a special ceremony is a slut and deserves to be punished with STDs, unwanted babies and cancer; they truly are an evil movement. But we're supposed to go along with the pretense that they just love the widdle fetuses and not acknowledge that they're really about keeping women down and submissive to the patriarchy.

BigDumbRedDog February 3, 2012 at 2:18 pm

It makes me feel better to be snarky and make fun of these things, but now and then it hits me. People really and truly believe this shit. Then I get a sad. Sigh.

Fare la Volpe February 3, 2012 at 2:25 pm

There was a girl I knew in college who fundamentally, at her core, believed their rhetoric. Every other week she would mass-invite all her friends to an anti-choice rally. She even invited me several times to listen to speakers who were openly anti-gay. Finally one day I couldn't take it any more and told I couldn't attend her prayer breakfast because I was volunteering for Planned Parenthood that morning. I may or may not have made a vacuum sucking sound as she dashed off red-faced.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Also, more Jesus Babbies means more cheap workers, more consumers of made in China sweatshop crap, and more dead soldiers. USA! USA!! USA!!!

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Pro-life means protecting the life of every living cell, irrespective of how malign they may be. Killing a tumor is a no-no.

Dashboard_Jesus February 5, 2012 at 12:16 am

well every sperm IS sacred doncha know…
Every Sperm is Sacred {Monty Python's Meaning of Life} http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8

Puffperney February 3, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Great point!

Nostrildamus February 3, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Cancer is free market cell division, essentially.

Fare la Volpe February 3, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Cancer: it's a baby, essentially.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:05 pm

So, a fetus is a tumor, essentially?

anniegetyerfun February 3, 2012 at 3:06 pm

I'll believe a tumor is a fetus when the Santorums dress it up and bring it home to meet the families.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Don't encourage them; they're loony enough to do it.

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Damn, I wish I'd known that before, Fare. I would have thrown a shower for my sister with ovarian cancer.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 4:00 pm

My nose was a womb?

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

*chuh*
What, now a booger is a fetus, *too*?

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Oh, YOU think the poorz are people too, huh? Well, I guess that makes, what, nine of us now?

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

It used to only cost 10 Ameros to incorporate an organization in the Square State. Even the poorest of the poorz can go another five or six days without food to incorporate themselves to people peoplz too, MB!

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 6:14 pm

It's like the Republicans keep telling us, pdog: them Poorz is jes' as shif'less as all get-out.

starfanglednut February 3, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Hi Z! How's ur knee?

GOPCrusher February 3, 2012 at 3:16 pm

The current meme seems to be that abortions are the cause of breast cancer.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Oh they've been spreading that lie for a long time now, no matter how debunked it's been; fuck the Bush administration tried to have the DHHS spread that bullshit.

Fare la Volpe February 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Government-sponsored slut-shaming. How conservative!

HogeyeGrex February 3, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I believe that's called a "Faith-based Initiative."

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Nice to know that my tax dollars are being used for something that's not only batshit insane, but also misogynistic.

imissopus February 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm

So is that why Dems are aborting black babies? So the mothers will get breast cancer? Wait, PP performs abortions and doesn't tell black ladies they are also giving them breast cancer. Which makes anyone who supports Planned Parenthood the real racist.

But then Dems want to give people health care so doctors can save them by detecting cancer and treating it. But Dems also want to kill people by aborting their babies and giving them boobie cancer. But Dems also need lots and lots of black babies to get hooked on welfare handouts and also vote Democratic…Gah, wingnut logic makes my brain want to curl up in a corner and drink antifreeze.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

As nearly as I can figure out, the wingnuts want the wimmenz to have breast cancer, just not from abortions.

KeepFnThatChicken February 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"Our only goal for our granting process is to support women and families in the fight against breast cancer."

EXACTLY. Carry on, please.

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Boobs.

spudgun February 3, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Yes, yes, they are…

weej_bain February 3, 2012 at 1:32 pm

sweet new avatar

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Thanks — I made a decision to defund pedo to death, forever.

By the way, every time I see yours, "I'mmm bringin' home a baayy-be bumblebee, won't mah momma be so proud'a me…" gets stuck in my head for the next hour, and as a consequence, I hate life just a wee bit less.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

""I'mmm bringin' home a baayy-be bumblebee, won't mah momma be so proud'a me…" gets stuck in my head"

Momma: Killer, you bring-a home a little baby sheeps?
Killer: Duh, no, Momma.
*smack!*

Nostrildamus February 3, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Nice. Shake!

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I'll take two, please, thanks.

donner_froh February 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Cancer = Bad

Women controlling their own bodies = Worse

YasserArraFeck February 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Uppity women getting cancer = peace in our time

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Cancer > Tebow

GhostBuggy February 3, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Well, if they don't get cancer, how can our nation's brave Washington "outsiders"/historians divorce them?

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Just look what happened when we let them control the worl … OK, uh, yeah, well, that's not a FAIR argument because God.

memzilla February 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Rethuglican Party, please note: your hateful, sexist, racist, poorz-targeted, anti-choice, repressive War On Wimmenz has been called for exactly what it is.

You like pink? Let's fire up that rusty chainsaw and give you all a collective colonoscopy with it — we'll see how much you like pink.

#Occupy_GOP_A**holes

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Oh, god, I get SO hot when you talk dirty to me like that.

Rusty chainsaw, MMM!

weej_bain February 3, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Can Wonkette give Komen the boobie prize?

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Take two, they're small.

littlebigdaddy February 3, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Tits or GTFO.

RedneckMuslin February 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

They would be cancerous tits and not the vision you were thinking of.

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Tits AND GTFO, sounds like.

VinnyThePooh February 3, 2012 at 1:32 pm

"Computer. Fetus, black, hot."

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Captain Sandusky?

chicken_thief February 3, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Slightly off topic, but that Karen Handel bitch looks like a younger female version of *gasp* me. And that, my friends, is not good. I wouldn't fuck her with Newt's droopy peen.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

As I once remarked to a friend after we were accosted by a sex worker of indeterminate gender while walking through Pigalle:
"I hope that's a man, because if not, it's the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

chicken_thief February 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Cecile Richards, on the other hand…..

widestanceshakedown February 3, 2012 at 1:59 pm

To be fair, neither would he.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:08 pm

And you're sure of this, why? She has a pulse, therefore she meets Newt's standards.

widestanceshakedown February 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm

True that, but is Viagra strong enough to wake the actual dead?

starfanglednut February 3, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Yes, silly. What do you think Lazarus used?

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Still, you gotta admit her "Messiah" is pretty awesome.

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I don't know about HER Messiah. Mine wants to kick her ass, though.

SpiderCrab February 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm

She resembles a highly intelligent pig. I'm sure she'd make a fine barbecue sandwich, especially with gobs of slaw and plenty of Frank's Red Hot sauce.

donner_froh February 3, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Some terrible cases of whiplash at Komen after this U-turn. Need ambulance chasers STAT.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 1:45 pm

It's not a u-turn. It's a strategic retreat to a defensible position. They have committed not to drop the current grant to PP. They will quietly not renew or (more likely) renew at drastically diminished levels when the furor has died down. These people have revealed themselves to be right-wing movement hacks, and if there is one thing we have learned about these people, it is that they are relentless.

donner_froh February 3, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I agree–in a reply to a comment above I said that even if (when) Komen stops funding Planned Parenthood, PP will have had a year to replace the grant they won't be getting.

It's just that U-turn goes better with whiplash than strategic retreat to a defensible position, even though your characterization is more accurate.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Sorry, I should have realized you would know that, and should have added something like [Of course, I'm not telling you anything you don't know.]

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:53 pm

This is a reminder to those of us who might have daughters, nieces, lovers, sisters, wives … keep an eye on this group, and, a year from now if they revert to their old ways under the mistaken impression that no one is watching, take them down publicly AGAIN. And again, and again, and again, until they learn their lesson.

That is the responsibility of a democracy — that all of us citizens have to do our duty to ensure a better world for the ones we leave behind.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:12 pm

"This is a reminder to those of us who might have daughters, nieces, lovers, sisters, wives … keep an eye on this group, and, a year from now if they revert to their old ways under the mistaken impression that no one is watching"

Except that I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed. The kind of people who care about women's health now know that Komen is a bunch of pandering shits, and even if they do "revert", or get lazy about covering their tracks, or whatever, it would be kinda like Robert Blake turning up with yet another dead wife. "Um, yeah, I know this looks kinda bad…"

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I certainly hope so, tessiee. These people have no business claiming to be a charity, with their misogynist agenda.

freakishlywrong February 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Moral of the story: do not hire Sarah Palin’s friends to run any kind of organization that is meant to help people, children!

We're a center-right, christian country, Goddammit.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 1:40 pm

GOSHdamnit!

Don't blaspheme!

fartknocker February 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

The Koman credibility horse has left the barn and they're trying to get it back. This is what happens when you hire someone who follows the mindset and logic of Joan of Wasilla and her merry minion Teatards.

My wife and I both agreed we're sending some money to Planned Parenthood this weekend and will not longer support or sanction anything from the Komen foundation. When some of their own staff members quit in response to this, it confirms that this latest spin is total horseshit.

The only good to come out of this is maybe the rest of America will figure out how vile, stupid, and caustic Sarah Palin is.

MaxNeanderthal February 3, 2012 at 2:47 pm

As you say, the sty door is shut, but the porker has long since left the barn. Too little, too late, ya rancid shithead…

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Dang, I wish I could agree with you, but I just got a response from one of my (few) teatard "friends" to my caustic Facebook post about SG Komen backing down,and the entire response was a long compilation of Fucks Snooze talking points. Only death will remove the stoopid.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Part of me is tempted to head over to Breitbart to see what our old trolls are saying about this, but it is a scary place.

emmelemm February 3, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Don't do it. Sanity is too precious.

Dashboard_Jesus February 5, 2012 at 12:31 am

amen, the Komen Korp showed their true colors and will never get another dime from me…for the last 10 years we had the largest (non-corporate) team at the Race for the Cure (over 100 people in our group) in memory of my little sister who died from breast cancer 9 years ago…I've always been a bit wary of them with their fascist-like control of pink ribbons and even suing others for using 'CURE' for their events…I made two donations this week to PP, one for the local folks and one for the national org, and will continue to do so…nothing Komen does or says now will convince me that they are NOT assholes!

nounverb911 February 3, 2012 at 1:35 pm

So is Newt for or against poor women's boobs?

YasserArraFeck February 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Newt is for young women's boobs – the Callistatron is approaching her "dump-by" date

Biel_ze_Bubba February 3, 2012 at 2:02 pm

He's all for them — until they get cancer, of course.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 3:29 pm

He was for them before he was against them.

Wait. That was Mitt…

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 2:38 pm

He's for them AND likes to be against them.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Well, if women don't get cancer, how is Newt supposed to know it's time to dump them?

sarah_connor February 3, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Hey-oh!

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Whenever people talk about Newt and women's body parts in the same sentence, I'm really glad I'm not a woman. I shiver hard enough being a man.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 3:52 pm

He was for them until he became Catholic.

luckismine February 3, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Cancer is the language of ghetto boobs.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 1:35 pm

We have been distressed at the presumption that the changes made to our funding criteria were done for political reasons or to specifically penalize Planned Parenthood. They were not.

Is that why at least two people, that we know of, high in your organization resigned in protest over the decision, and you decided to go forward anyway? Please, as Michael Corleone said to Carlo, under frankly rather similar circumstances, "Just don't tell me that you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry."

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm

A tits for tats repartee/

SayItWithWookies February 3, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Yeah, I buy that argument of theirs just as much — it's exactly why they defunded PP and then came up with the principle behind it, and then when they explained the principle they couldn't explain why they were still funding Penn State, which is also under investigation. Typical Republican bullshit that their principles are whatever they use to justify their immediate desires.

MaxNeanderthal February 3, 2012 at 2:50 pm

"They were not"- All together now, – "Oh yes, they fucking well were"…..

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

"as Michael Corleone said to Carlo, under frankly rather similar circumstances, "Just don't tell me that you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry.""

*is awe-stricken*

Gratuitous World February 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

"needs of their communities"

Access to mammograms < Red herring needed since demise of ACORN

nounverb911 February 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Freedom of choice as long as you choose the teabaggers way?

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Reminds me of when I was a school child and they taught me the USSR was a terrible, scary place because when they had elections there was only one candidate on the ballot. If the teabaggers had their way …

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 3, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Well, it is well known by those on the Conservative side that while they have your breast all tied up in the machine, Plan Parenthood will strive to shove something up your snatch and abort anhtin they find.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 1:37 pm

BREAKING: Komen Foundation goes all in, to only fund Botox for rich white women.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm

This is good news for Callista.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

That's nice; still giving my money directly to Planned Parenthood and not to this caving-to-wingnuts Suzan lady.

Barb February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

You are absolutely right, my breast loving friend. I gave a donation a few nights ago and it felt really good.

Dashboard_Jesus February 5, 2012 at 12:34 am

Amen, I gave two donations this week to PP, one for the locals and one for the national org…I give to them every year anyway but upped the ante this time, and yes it does feel good!

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Seconded.

fuflans February 3, 2012 at 4:18 pm

i saw the statement from the founder last night(before the u-turn) and i know she lost her sister and all but MAN she was unappealing. pretty much hit every 'PR no-no if trying to control a crises' (whined, blamed the public, implied PP was unsavory, etc.)

also, she was kinda personally gross: aging entitle white woman wearing too much make-up trying to sound authentic.

DemmeFatale February 3, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Her overly botoxed face and plumped out lips did not help her cred either.
(I know, meeeooowww!)

Gratuitous World February 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

…but we'll still let Ben Roethlisberger wear one of our ribbons

Texan_Bulldog February 3, 2012 at 2:11 pm

It's not like you can tell him "no"…

StarsUponThars February 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

So you're saying they aborted their attempts to politically hijack the funding process at Susan G. Komen?

StarsUponThars February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

BTW, if you really want a reason to be pissed off, check out its administrative overhead percentage vs. how much money it actually contributes to breast-cancer awareness.

Schmannnity February 3, 2012 at 1:38 pm

What's next? Komen cuts off funding to any organization that funds rape exam kits (keeping in the Palin vein)?

RedneckMuslin February 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

What do the Girl Scouts think of this?

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Well according to the right wing, the Girl Scouts are a bunch of radical lesbian feminist pagans brainwashing young girls:
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/20

anniegetyerfun February 3, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Girl Scouts: So much more badass than the Boy Scouts can ever hope to be.

RedneckMuslin February 3, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Especially the SS Troop.

lefty74 February 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Praise Jebus for the Inter Tubes. Right DW?

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

This whole breast thing was a bust.

Biff February 3, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I'll have to settle for the next-breast thing, then.

slowhansolo February 3, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Tits a real shame…

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 3:34 pm

NO thanks for the mammaries!

AlterNewt February 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Nice turnaround.

'Breast in Show'.

ThundercatHo February 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Jean-Luc!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would show you my tits any time, any space,

P.S.: Komen can still fuck the fuck off. I'm still donating to PP and Emily's List.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Make it so!

Biff February 3, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Until they shitcan Karen Handel, ALL my contributions will go to Planned Parenthood instead. I used to make donations in my mother's and sister's names, a victim and a survivor, respectively.

MittBorg February 3, 2012 at 2:57 pm

That's because you be da man, as One-L Shelee likes to say.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Is it safe to say this whole thing was badly Handeled?

Generation[redacted] February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Just wait until Herman Cain gets a handle on these two very important issues.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 2:09 pm

He may have his hands full.

Generation[redacted] February 3, 2012 at 2:21 pm

It's a lot to juggle. It's going to be heads-down, nose to the grindstone. He's just looking forward to a happy ending.

PeaceWithHonor February 3, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Who are these morons? You're telling me you couldn't see the Decision/Backlash/Reversal pathway laid out before you like the yellow brick fucking road?

Generation[redacted] February 3, 2012 at 1:45 pm

For some reason, pro-life nuts think everyone agrees with them, or would if the rest of us just had a chance to see the sonograms.

Puffperney February 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Well said. In the bubble of like-mindedness decision process, no doubt.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

A lot of the bible cranks are like that, too. They think that everyone is "really" Christian, and just being a Jew/Muslin/Hindu/atheist/agnostic to be a pain in the ass.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Hard core right wingers tend to only listen to one another and ignore everyone else. So they end up really believing that a huge majority of Americans agree with their anti-woman, anti-worker, anti-birth control agenda, and that only a small cadre of snobbish elitist Democrats are holding them back. It comes as a genuine shock to them to learn otherwise.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:17 pm

"It comes as a genuine shock to them to learn."

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Which is why they keep sending around E-mails like that one with the watermelon patch in front of the White House. "But it was just a joke."

DemmeFatale February 3, 2012 at 4:56 pm

It's also why they live in places like The Villages.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Which makes them The Village People?

Biel_ze_Bubba February 3, 2012 at 2:05 pm

When you watch Fucks Gnus 24/7, your grip on reality gets pretty loose after a while.

BigDumbRedDog February 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Too late komen. I'm taking my tits and going home. Oh, and my wallet too.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 3, 2012 at 2:05 pm

How are they going to pay their CEO $500,000 if people don't send in those checks?

BigDumbRedDog February 3, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Don't worry, its an empty threat, considering the contents of my wallet. (also empty)

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Well, unlike Komen, we at Wonkette welcome your tits with open arms, no matter what the status of your wallet may be.

GOPCrusher February 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm

That's fucking beautiful, man.
* weeps silently *

BigDumbRedDog February 3, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Ah, that's so sweet. Hope your not too dissapointed to find out that my tits are almost as flat as my wallet.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 4:06 pm

If they had a CEO who was actually WORTH $500,000 they wouldn't have gotten into this mess.

Callyson February 3, 2012 at 1:42 pm

These assholes will probably just try to defund Planned Parenthood gradually, by reducing future grants bit by bit. But the damage to SGK's reputation has been done…
…and better yet, now they've probably pissed off the wingnuts as well…

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

The Republicans in congress have been trying to defund Planned Parenthood under the guise of deficit reduction since the took the House; luckily the Dems have not caved on it. Not yet anyway.

emmelemm February 3, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Yes. And they lobbied hard behind the scenes against the ACA (that's the acronym of the healthcare reform act, right?).

ASS.HOLES.

mrsbitch February 3, 2012 at 1:43 pm

"We will continue to fund existing grants, including those of Planned Parenthood, and preserve their eligibility to apply for future grants, while maintaining the ability of our affiliates to make funding decisions that meet the needs of their communities."

Fucktard-speak for "Shit, you caught us. Next year when this dies down we'll just quietly not fund them in any community that expresses some hatred of women for any fucking goddamned reason whatsoever. Just try and wade through all that bullshit."

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

"Just try and wade through all that bullshit."

Sometimes the bullshit is so deep that you can't row *or* wade through it.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 4:07 pm

No, but you can shovel it and throw it back.

PS: Welcome mrsbitch. 2p — we haven't seen one of those for awhile.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

– "you can't row *or* wade through it"

- "No, but you can shovel it and throw it back."

Shoveling and throwing it back would save having to consider the relative merits of row vs. wade.

mrsbitch February 5, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Yeah, wtf?!? Not sure what happened there. Apparently Intense Debate hates me – my whole comment history is gone. Not that there was anything profound on it anyway, but still.

Lionel[redacted]Esq February 3, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Don't worry, the Conservatives will be back. Just imagine their shock about the fact that Plan Parenthood demands that the women's breast be exposed for the testing!

savethispatient February 3, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Some of their female staff are unmarried too. And out in public! The horror!

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Why I've heard some of their female staff might wear skirts that don't go down to the ankle!

Oblios_Cap February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

At least they still get to sell their pink barrelled handguns!

Generation[redacted] February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

The flop house?

Biff February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Oddly enough, they never considered defunding Penn State. I hear they're under investigation for something, too.

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 1:44 pm

That .gif up top is, like, ten times funnier if you imagine that there's a big pink nipple smack dab on top of Captain Picard's cabeza.

"Self exam, engage."

VinnyThePooh February 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm

My mind drifts to Counselor Troi.

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Ha! I'm sure she knows just how you feel.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I hope not – or she'd never stop slapping me.

ThundercatHo February 3, 2012 at 2:02 pm

No funny hats for my imaginary boyfriend please. How's your back feeling today?

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Still trying to put that problem behind me behind me, but your Cheetara chi-chis are definitely helping.

Thanks!

Clancy_Pants February 3, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I shouldn't've but I laughed outloud. I'm so ashamed.

Generation[redacted] February 3, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I, too, am ashamed, but there's an image from Ozzfest that I just can't get out of my head.

Schmannnity February 3, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Handel kind of looks like Haley Barbour in drag.

MissTaken February 3, 2012 at 1:47 pm

I would like to hear Planned Parenthood say to SGK, "Thanks, but no thanks. We don't want to take part in your anti-choice, anti-woman platform going forward". But since PP is actually classy, I know they won't.

Still, my donations will go directly to PP going forward. And SGK, you can stick your little pink ribbons up your little pink asses.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 2:31 pm

"you can stick your little pink ribbons up your little pink asses" had me laughing my ass off. Righteous indignance looks good on you.

Jerri February 3, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Backpedal for The Cure.™

Fare la Volpe February 3, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Psh, this whole argument is irrelevant, because everyone knows the whole "breast cancer" theory is a lie propagated by the liberal media. My sister had breasts her whole life and not a single "cancer." I inspected them myself everyday when she was asleep.

Case closed, libtards.

Biff February 3, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Dr. Volpe, I presume? I thought it was just me!

Fare la Volpe February 3, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Nah, I just have an associates in air conditioning repair, BUT I KNOW HOW SCIENCE WORKS, LIBRULS.

Biff February 3, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Just like the republican party. They do OK with incrementalism, but the classic over-reach gets them every time.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Or reach-around

SayItWithWookies February 3, 2012 at 1:51 pm

That's very nice that the Komen Foundation has changed their venal, crass, callous minds after being shouted down by an overwhelming majority of the public. Which only means that next time they'll try to be more underhanded about it. Thanks for letting me know that my money is better spent going directly to Planned Parenthood, Ms. Handel.

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Hmmmm, Internet users crash congress' email servers with protest about SOPA and PIPA, Ellen lays the smack on "One Million Moms", and now this. 2012 been pretty good so far.

Texan_Bulldog February 3, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I just pray that my liver can hold out until November!

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Ellen also got her sponsor JC Penny to give that school where the teacher's are working with no salary a $100,000 donation.

HolyCow!! February 3, 2012 at 1:52 pm

The more I read about the Komen marketing firm…I mean charity. The more it sounds like a huge scam.

chascates February 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Great article via HistoriCat:
http://www.ginandtacos.com/2012/02/02/race-for-th

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 4:51 pm

That IS a very impassioned and informative article. The comments following it are also excellent and worth the time it takes to read them. Among the good links provided there —

A great cartoon: http://lianamaris.tumblr.com/post/16884980496/thi… ]

A cancer survivor's take-down of Komen's good Charity Navigator rating: http://cancerculturenow.blogspot.com/2011/03/kome

Detailed info about Komen's political agenda: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/02/01/1060885/

All worth reading IMHO.

jus_wonderin February 3, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Is Captain Picard reminding himself of what Beverly's boob felt like (in two hands)?

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 3:42 pm

They have bony boobs in the future?? Oh well, at least they're not hairy.

spareme February 3, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Glad to see women from all over the country made their thoughts known on this. Next – hopefully they will do the same when the personhood stuff comes up. Personally, I am hanging up my pink running shoes, throwing out the damn pink ribbons (I hate that color anyway), and will be throwing more of my efforts to the PP Center I worked in as a volunteer in college.Lesson to anyone who wants to screw around politically with our private partz: go fuck yourself.

widestanceshakedown February 3, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I hope Handel is happy, now that she has titty-fucked herself in the face before the world.

BaldarTFlagass February 3, 2012 at 2:16 pm

She was gettin' bombed,
And I was gettin' blown away,
And she held it in her hand
And this is what she had to say:
A pearl necklace.
She wanna pearl necklace.
She wanna pearl necklace.

DemmeFatale February 3, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Too little-too late, wingtard assholes!!

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation. We will amend the criteria to make clear that disqualifying investigations must be criminal and conclusive in nature and not political.

And by that we mean, we'll wait until some wingnut assistant assistant DA brings trumped-up criminal charges against PP.

Barb February 3, 2012 at 1:57 pm

The Komen Foundation is known for using donated funds to sue other cancer foundations. Stay classy, Komen.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Apparently they've trademarked the phrase "for the cure" and sue anyone who tries to use it. Really this whole trademarking common phrases has gotten out of hand – look also at how the NFL is quick to sue anyone who publicly uses the word Superbowl and isn't one of their sponsors, and even tried to trademark the phrase "the big game" when people started using it as a euphemism to get around that.

Jerri February 3, 2012 at 2:17 pm

And the whole turning breast cancer into a product thing every October. It's not just them, but I'll choose to direct my ire their way anyway.

(There may be better links out there but I'm a lazy Googler) http://thinkbeforeyoupink.org/?page_id=13

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I have a feeling this is a turning point for Komen – people are starting actually look at them, and are disturbed by what they are seeing. The number of people who send their donations directly to Sloan-Kettering or to PP rather than a high-overhead, litigious, wingnut-driven group that pays its head honchos nearly $500,000 a year is likely to be pretty high. The number of people who – like me – have purchased their last item with a little pink ribbon on it is also likely large – not something that encourages participation by corporate partners.

BaldarTFlagass February 3, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Well, if they are paying their CEO $500K per year, you know it's only a matter of time before greedy Republicans start oozing their way in to get their hands on some of that sweet sweet titty cancer money.

HistoriCat February 3, 2012 at 2:31 pm

As if they're not already there.

MiniMencken February 3, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Cancer cells are alive and part of God's plan, just like fertilized ova.

KeepFnThatChicken February 3, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I can only think of "Confessions" by Tim Minchin.

SiameseCatLady February 3, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I agree! Until Karen Handel is either shit-canned or resigns (hopefully in humiliating public disgrace) I will never give a penny to SGK.

freakishlywrong February 3, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Wait till people get a load of the salaries these "charitable" shrews receive.

FakaktaSouth February 3, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Hey SGK, you can have another donation when you pry it out of my cold, dead cleavage.

I hate breast cancer – it killed my hubs' mom when she was 45, my dear friend when she was 35 – and I will NEVER give this foundation another dime. Planned Parenthood is my new go-to…

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Somehow, Fakata, I just can't picture you with "cold, dead" cleavage. Mmmm.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Ah, memories. It seems like only last night that Brinker was telling Andrea Mitchell that most people were applauding the decision:

"All I can tell you is that the responses we're getting are very, very favorable…People who have bothered to read the material, who have bothered to understand the issues– again, we work for a mission every day of our lives."

And it seemed like only yesterday that they were telling us that it was for the sake of womens' health, because PP didn't do their own mammograms. Now this claim took something of a credibility hit when it was observed that almost no physicians have their own on site mammogram machines, but who are we to call Komen liars? According to the position they were maintaining less than 24 hours ago, their reversal on the PP decision is bad for women's health.

Y'know – I'm beginning to suspect that they might be lying to us now, too. Am I crazy?

kissawookiee February 3, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Bitching at Planned Parenthood for not doing mammograms = bitching at Jiffy Lube for not doing transmission repair.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:27 pm

"Y'know – I'm beginning to suspect that they might be lying to us now, too. Am I crazy?"

Can't it be both?

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I hope so.

emmelemm February 3, 2012 at 2:14 pm

So, here's a nice way to let Komen know what you think of them (and this weasel-y backpedaling is just that – they didn't say they'll continue to fund PP, just that they're not pulling existing money, for now, etc. etc.):

Go to PlannedParenthood.org

Click Donate

Instead of "One Time Gift", click on the "Honorary Giving" tab

Fill in the acknowledgement section with:

Karen Handel – Senior VP
c/o Susan G. Komen Foundation
P.O. Box 650309
Dallas, TX 75265

Then Karen Handel gets a postcard saying you donated to PP in honor of her.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Emmelemm, I hope you get a well-deserved Nobel prize for this suggestion.

emmelemm February 3, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ah, thank you, that's sweet, but I can't claim credit: My local "alt weekly" paper, The Stranger, suggested it. And I did! I'm positively gleeful at the thought of PP sending tons of postcards to SGK headquarters saying "So and so donated in YOUR name!"

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 4:54 pm

But thanks for providing the address. You made it SO easy!!!

slithytoves February 3, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Just did it! Thanks!

GOPCrusher February 3, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I bow before your superior awesomeness.

emmelemm February 3, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Also, too, it was suggested that if you had ever donated to Komen in the past, and received one of those pink rubber bracelets, that you cut it up into little bits and mail it to them.

I've never gotten any "pink" merch, but I have sponsored people doing Race for the Cure. Ugh.

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Just did it, too (also).

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Just printed my receipts. Donations from me AND mom. I have to say I was tempted to put it "In Memory" of Karen Handel, but they didn't give me space to write, "Here's hoping she disappears soon." Thanks for the inspiration, Em.

randoracer February 3, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Thanks for posting this. I just contributed, and I just passed your suggestion on to all of my friends (which, admittedly, isn't that big of a number). I do love irony.

Steverino247 February 3, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Tits, meet wringer.

What a PR disaster for the organization I would name except I don't want to get sued for misspelling the name or using the wrong color pink.

Mumbletypeg February 3, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Shorter Komen spokescreep: "We were saving the breast for last. Oops."

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I suppose we should have seen this coming when Komen chose a VP whose name means "Commerce".

Biff February 3, 2012 at 2:21 pm

In komen's tweet this morning, they said they'd continue to fund PP to the tune of $250K. Somewhere else I read they donated $7M annually, but the $650K actually donated to PP by some of us in the aftermath of komen's disastrous decision seems to be close to the actual annual contributions by komen. Math is hard, I know, but wtf?

proudgrampa February 3, 2012 at 2:22 pm

As the husband of a breast cancer survivor (17 years and counting: you go, Mrs proudgrampa!!) I have always been suspicious of the Komen. Just seemed to me like they were in it for the wrong reasons.

A shame that they could not remain apolitical.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Now that's a thrilling story. Please give her a big hug, and a big wet smooch, from all of us.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 5:30 pm

And a smooch for you, too, PG, from the grrls.

widestanceshakedown February 3, 2012 at 3:11 pm

You stayed with her after she ruined your life with her cancer? Why do you hate America?

(snark aside, proudgrampa, I also have a survivor in my life and I'm sure it's true for you too that not one day is taken for granted since. Best wishes for the proudgrampas)

Pithaughn February 3, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I'm always suspicious of a foundation named after somebody. Bill and Melinda excluded of course.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 5:31 pm

You mean like the Michael Milken Foundation?

ShaveTheWhales February 3, 2012 at 8:01 pm

The Michael Milken Race to Cure Michael Milken's Prostate Cancer (TM).

Jukesgrrl February 4, 2012 at 4:57 am

… and Restore Him to His Former Wealth (TM).

Monsieur_Grumpe February 3, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Breast cancer screening? We thought you said best dancer screaming. Oopsie!

BarackMyWorld February 3, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Abortions for some, miniature American flags pink ribbons for others!

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Incidentally, in case you missed it, here is the content of a message Handel re-tweeted two days ago: "Just like a pro-abortion group to turn a cancer orgs decision into a political bomb to throw. Cry me a freaking river."

Someone obviously advised her to take it down, and she did, but the internet is forever.
(See for yourself: http://yfrog.com/kkzyuyp )

Generation[redacted] February 3, 2012 at 2:35 pm

"Pro-abortion group" –yep, no political bomb throwing there.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Ironic when she was the one who turned this into a political bomb in the first place.

ThundercatHo February 3, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Hey, Bitch. Several thousand people have given donations to PP and decided to defund your sorry ass. Cry me a fucking river.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:29 pm

"Political bomb to throw"? Projection much?

GOPCrusher February 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I suppose that "murdering liberal" would have taken too many characters.

donner_froh February 3, 2012 at 2:39 pm

How many tax-exempt dollars donated to Komen were used to pay for Nancy Brinker's facelifts?

NellCote71 February 3, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Not enough, Katie, not enough.

prommie February 3, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Nothing good comes from Texas, and fuck Austin, too, I am sick of hearing how its cool, if it was so cool, it would have left Texas.

BaldarTFlagass February 3, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Austin tried that, moved to Southern California for a while, but then was extraordinarily renditioned back to Texas.

Generation[redacted] February 3, 2012 at 2:59 pm

It's being held at gunpoint.

Blueb4sunrise February 3, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I'm sensing a certain amount of hostility in this thread.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 2:50 pm

People just hate Friday afternoons.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

It's also exceedingly difficult to masturbate to.

C_R_Eature February 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I love the smell of Schadenfreude in the morning.

Afternoon, too.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 5:33 pm

This one's gone on for nearly 48 hours now. Gets 4 stars from moi.

OneYieldRegular February 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm

They're going to have one hell of a time getting their money back from that supplier in American Samoa who just finished printing up thousands of pink t-shirts emblazoned with Komen's new slogan: "Abort tumors – not fetuses!"

Anyway, yes: direct your contributions to PP and bypass Komen altogether.

Antispandex February 3, 2012 at 2:51 pm

"Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation."

…but now it's just fine. We have discovered our inner Teapublican. Folks under investigation are just fine, if they are helping us get more money.

Fixed.

Come here a minute February 3, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I'll leave the mocking of these morons to those with the "Komen" parts, but I'd like to point out that Planned Parenthood also screens and treats the boy parts.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Good point.
However, that isn't evil, since boy parts are not an abomination in the eyes of Jeebus (unless, of course, they somehow come into contact with other boy parts); only the ladyparts are.

donner_froh February 3, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Planned Parenthood chapters have had to deal with bomb scares, real bomb threats, real bombs, insane protesters, credible death threats, etc. etc.

Not surprising they knew how to handle this kerfluffle.

Barrelhse February 3, 2012 at 2:54 pm

All I said was, this looks like collusion between Handel and the gentleman from Fla. in an effort to push the right-wing religious agenda.

Goonemeritus February 3, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Is it to late to save ACORN now that we are on a roll?

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 3:11 pm

And the Rosenbergs?

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Sacco and Vanzetti?

imissopus February 3, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Alger Hiss?

anniegetyerfun February 3, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I'd rather give money to the abortion people anyway. I love tits, but Pink Everything is so annoying. At least Planned Parenthood doesn't make everyone wear Aborted Fetus Flesh Tone* for a whole month.

*Dark brown, according to Newt's spokesmoron.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:32 pm

One of my family members is a breast cancer survivor, who said, "You know what's even worse than having breast cancer? Having breast cancer AND I HATE THE COLOR PINK!!"

Troglodeity February 3, 2012 at 3:14 pm

"We have been distressed at the presumption that the changes made to our funding criteria were done for political reasons or to specifically penalize Planned Parenthood. They were not."

That is such utter and total BULLSHIT – BULLSHIT!!!!! – that my family can no longer support the Komen Foundation even after their turnaround on this issue.

Why would we want to continue to give money to someone who tells total, bald-faced lies? (Well, other than a politician.)

owhatever February 3, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Congratulations to Karen Handel, the newest captain in the Carnival Cruise Line fleet.

Biel_ze_Bubba February 3, 2012 at 3:56 pm

She's already the captain Schettino of the charity business, so I think Carnival would have second thoughts about that.

Biff February 3, 2012 at 7:52 pm

She's already on the Priebus team, right?

chascates February 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm

They'll still use the trope that abortion causes breast cancer I bet.

rickmaci February 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Funny. They have an "A" list of corporate sponsors.
http://ww5.komen.org/CorporatePartners.aspx.

I heard a massive boycott SGK sponsors move was just about to roll out today. Coincidence they did a 180 on their "policy" today. I think not.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 3:44 pm

They were obviously digging in last night. Brinker on Andrea Mitchell saying that emails to them were 2:1 in their favor, how if people really took the time to understand they'd see Komen was making the right decision. Handel retweeting an incendiary tweet. Brinker posting (one or two days ago) this spectacularly dishonest video on youtube, which contains an awful lot of crow to eat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4oOh6JhayA

Then a few phone calls from a bunch of enormous corporations, and suddenly – in an instant – some wackjob Florida congressman's worthless investigation, some cottage bible printer dropping their pink bible, etc. don't seem so important anymore.

Big Capitol in action is a powerful thing.

Pithaughn February 3, 2012 at 4:01 pm

So proving once again bullshit walks back and money talks?

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 3:34 pm

"We have been distressed at the presumption that the changes made to our funding criteria were done for political reasons or to specifically penalize Planned Parenthood. They were not."

"I didn't do it": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTbgsoHDc24

Pithaughn February 3, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Right, I'm waiting , show me one, just one document that shows a donor expressing your failure to "fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors".
The upside from all this is that now we all know what kind of people are running the show over there at the pink ribbon club, and never give them another dime.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 5:39 pm

I'm waiting for a donor to ask for her or his contribution back.

UW8316154 February 3, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I've been on the Seattle Times comment boards for the past two days, defending the right to choose – the right to choose to get gay married, and the right to choose to have a legal medical procedure. The religous wingnuts are out in force. It looks like a NOM will front a major effort to overturn the law in Washington state. I'm exhausted. But the thing is, I always knew Komen was a self-serving marketing organization… I'm just unbelievably pleased that now the entire country know it, too.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 5:40 pm

You're fighting the good fight. So glad you've made some progress. Continued best wishes for success.

VinnyThePooh February 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm

"I am LaFetus of Borg."

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 10:47 pm

"Prepare to be defunded."

BZ1 February 3, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Not political at all … sorry, been drinking

fuflans February 3, 2012 at 4:24 pm

today, the interwebs are god.

Walkinwiddaking February 3, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Why does Patrick Stewart keep slapping his ass? Ohhh….

tweeksmom February 3, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Komen really got their tit caught in a wringer this time….

lochnessmonster February 3, 2012 at 5:01 pm

How much of the money they get REALLY goes to research or do the higher ups make some hefty salaries? Just remember this is a paltry $700,000 out of the millions they take in each year.

That said, they are a private organization and can choose to fund what they want, like I can choose to not fund them and fund PP instead.

It is my understanding they will honor this year but cut them next.

imissopus February 3, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Apparently that's been the general theme of the freak-out over at NRO today: HOW DARE THE LIBERALS QUESTION WHAT A PRIVATE CHARITY DOES WITH ITS MONEY??!!

Which is of course missing the point. Komen can do whatever the hell it wants with the money donated to it, and the donors can choose to get upset and not send them money anymore. Free market!

Wilcoxyz February 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Shorter: We're not worried about the very sick.

barrett808 February 3, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Perhaps too early to pop the champagne: http://studentactivism.net/2012/02/03/komen-state

Rotundo_ February 3, 2012 at 6:12 pm

My charitable donations and purchases of "Komen" gear is pretty limited, I have bought things in charity auctions and dumb stuff like that, and mercifully am *not* on their mailing list. Not another cent. If they would consider a fascist to head the organization, I'm not interested. There are plenty of organizations, some of them reputable unlike these creeps, that are in the fight against breast cancer and more. I don't have much to give, but what I can will go to them.

ghblowhard February 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

If we can prevent all the poor womens out there without healthcare from getting free cancer screanings then they'll die and won't be able to vote for baby hating libruls or worse men hating feminazis. Nothing says pro-life like killing off poor people!

BZ1 February 4, 2012 at 12:58 am

Karen Handel: "Cry me a freaking river" (new form of apology??)

comrad_darkness February 4, 2012 at 10:17 am

So, they are still lying?

comrad_darkness February 4, 2012 at 10:17 am

I gave another in your name.

ttommyunger February 4, 2012 at 7:09 pm

First clue: hiring Karen Handel. As a 40 year resident of the Great State of Dumfukistan, I am familiar with this smug little bitch on wheels. She is a cunt's cunt; but with open sores and scabs. I understand she is now looking for another job. Pretty sure the Heritage Foundation or Faux will find a slot for her.

Jerri February 4, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Aw, thanks guys.

spareme February 4, 2012 at 7:45 pm

I can't wait for Pinktober, this ought to be fun. I'm throwing out everything I own thats pink, except for my toe shoes, which I worked more honestly to earn than Komen ever has worked, For anything. Also, I will be funding the great cancer research center in my home town, as well as PP, with whom I worked in college.

What I really would like to do is post a bunch of vulgar fun explesives, however, screwing them out of money is more fun.

wolvenwood13 February 5, 2012 at 11:29 am

So why did they hire Karen Handel anyway? If Komen Found. truly wanted to help women prevent breast cancer, they would tell them about the Gerson diet (and other diets that prevent/cure cancer), Essiac, sheep sorrel, baking soda and molasses, iodine and potassium iodide, etc. and many other natural cancer cures that work far, far better than chemo/radiation and don't require exposing yourself to radiation and risking cancer, in order to prevent it.

fitley February 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

When Ari Fleischer is supposed help your PR you're pretty much cooked.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Oh this stuff gets me very angry. And as a man, I'm only indirectly effected by their shit; if I had a womb I don't know how pissed I'd get.

BaldarTFlagass February 3, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Too bad you didn't have a straightened-out coat hanger to poke her with.

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"There was a girl I knew in college who fundamentally, at her core, believed their rhetoric."

This reminds me of the funniest line in the movie "Juno".
Juno comes out of the clinic, where the bible nuts are harassing the patients, and talks to her not very bright friend about it:
Juno: Did you know my baby has fingernails?
Friend: Oh, NO! That means that it could, like, scratch your vadge on the way out!

BigDumbRedDog February 3, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Wombs are overrated. I mainly use mine to store my bike and old stereo equipment.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Would you consider a sublet? I have a cousin who's moving to the States. He's pretty quiet, non-smoker. Except his hookah.

starfanglednut February 3, 2012 at 3:48 pm

"I mainly use mine to store my bike and old stereo equipment."

Don't they get rusty?

tessiee February 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

"Wombs are overrated. I mainly use mine to store my bike"

This is even funnier if you know that, in the grade school I went to, "bike" was a euphemism for "dick".

anniegetyerfun February 3, 2012 at 3:39 pm

My womb has alwasy been open to tenants of Middle Eastern or South Asian descent. Just a rental policy that has treated me well over the years.

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Susie hasn't changed. She's just hired a Republican spin doctor.

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Wonkette is a safe, giving place where breasts of all shapes and colours may find warm love and acceptance.

That's why our motto is: TGTFO!

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