because of course

Komen Charity Reverses Weird New Pro-Breast Cancer For Poors Policy

But Jesus loves it when poors get cancer!Have you heard about the strangest new craze in breast cancer charities, the kind that doesn’t actually want to fight breast cancer? This for a brief period was the Susan G. Komen Foundation, the behemoth breast cancer research charity always running around madly putting pink ribbon stickers on everything from yogurt cups to professional football players, after they inexplicably hired rabidly anti-choice wingnut Karen Handel to the Senior VP of Public Policy spot last year (following Handel’s failed run for Georgia governor despite/because of Sarah Palin’s endorsement, hahahah). The foundation then decided they didn’t want to pay Planned Parenthood to help low-income lady people get free breast cancer screenings anymore, in case the ladies might accidentally get an abortion on the way down the hall to the mammography machine. And THEN they lied to everyone about the reason for the decision and said it was because some wingnut Congressman in Florida is “investigating” Planned Parenthood and they can’t give money to organizations being fake investigated by nutjobs. BUT NOW that is all over with, HOORAY, because as soon as the Internet found out about all this a few days ago, it also made a decision, to stop giving money to a pro-breast cancer charity and give all their monies directly to Planned Parenthood instead. So Komen has come back to say NO WAIT DIDN’T MEAN IT WE LURV PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

Here’s the official “shit, sorry” statement from their website, via the AP:

Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation. We will amend the criteria to make clear that disqualifying investigations must be criminal and conclusive in nature and not political. That is what is right and fair.

Our only goal for our granting process is to support women and families in the fight against breast cancer. Amending our criteria will ensure that politics has no place in our grant process. We will continue to fund existing grants, including those of Planned Parenthood, and preserve their eligibility to apply for future grants, while maintaining the ability of our affiliates to make funding decisions that meet the needs of their communities.

Moral of the story: do not hire Sarah Palin’s friends to run any kind of organization that is meant to help people, children! [AP]

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    1. donner_froh

      Even if they plan not to fund Planned Parenthood in future years (most likely the case since their board has been taken over by fundy assholes), PP has the time to replace that grant they will no longer get.

      Still a dick move by Komen but less harmful for Planned Parenthood.

      1. chicken_thief

        I saw that, oddly, donations to BOTH groups have skyrocketed. I think (hope?) in the long run PP will be able to maintain their funding while Komen will drop off.

    2. MittBorg

      This is what they *have* changed: their desire to keep sucking GOP ass so publicly.

      This doesn't mean they will STOP sucking GOP ass any time soon. But you can be sure they'll be investing in heavy-duty privacy screens to shield any such ass-suckery from public scrutiny.

      This organization spends, what, 20% of its intake on "the cure," 25% on administration costs, and the remainder on suing the shit out of small businesspeople and publicity-whoring. If you're serious about a cure for cancer, there are LOTS of other organizations that will be happy to take your money and actually give a lot of it to researchers. No need to jump through their fucking hoops.

      1. tessiee

        "This organization spends, what, 20% of its intake on "the cure," 25% on administration costs, and the remainder on suing the shit out of small businesspeople and publicity-whoring. If you're serious about a cure for cancer, there are LOTS of other organizations that will be happy to take your money and actually give a lot of it to researchers."

        Forgive me for repeating information I've posted before, but it's worth knowing. A friend of mine worked for the American Cancer Society, and was calling to solicit charity purchases (you know, buy this thing and X% of the proceeds go to charity), and one of the people she called was skeptical:
        Friend: What, you think the American Cancer Society is running a scam?
        Skeptical guy: Well… No… But you must have expenses; I mean, you gotta pay rent on an office, you gotta pay phone bills — some of the money must go for that.

        Long story short, ANY charitable organization is required by law to disclose where their money goes. If you request that information, they have to give it to you. So if you have any doubts or questions, you can easily find out.

        1. Tundra Grifter


          It must be reported. But there are still tricks. For example, who here has not gotten some sort of "Survey" from a charity? It always includes a plea for money, doesn't it?

          Yet because it is a survey, or includes some information about the cause, the charity can report the expense of sending it out as part of its core mission and not a "fund raising" or "admin" line-item expense.

          1. Biel_ze_Bubba

            Komen's line about "contributing to breast-cancer awareness" is double-speak for their junk-mail division. Throw in a "Four things you should know" leaflet, and the whole package (and the postage) is "educational" — even if 90% of what's in the envelope is fund-rasing pitches, lottery tickets, order forms for pink swag, and pre-addressed return mail envelopes.
            There are a number of bogus "charities" run by shitstains who pay themselves and their immediate-family "executives" handsomely, and spend the legal minimum on exactly this sort of "educational material."

    3. GOPCrusher

      I honestly believe that they believed the Christofascists bullshit about they represent the majority of Americans and the majority of Americans want an end to Planned Parenthood.
      Once the dollars going away exceeded the dollars coming in, they realized that they fucked up.

      1. comrad_darkness

        I read it. Before it was cool. My memory isn't that good. So I could read it again and enjoy it just as much!

  1. Barb

    There is no better way to prove that you are pro-life like allowing people to have their breast cancer go undetected. Take that, poor tumor carriers!

        1. Generation[redacted]

          We need a law to ensure that tumors are not served as food according to Sharia law without first looking at a sonogram.

      1. JustPixelz

        In the current Repubican formulation, that's "Freedom Sells". And at these low, low prices taxes who can resist some sweet, sweet freedom*.
        * special offer: go off your medication and get a $900 iPad

    1. SorosBot

      Well consider that the "pro-life" are also actually against a vaccine that would prevent most cervical cancer; I think the only conclusion it that yes, they are the pro-cancer movement.

      1. BigDumbRedDog

        Everybody knows that cervical cancer is jeebus's punishment for doing the nasty. It's in the bible. I think it's one of the 11 commandments. Which means preventing it is playing right into the devil's hands.

        1. SorosBot

          Yeah, the forced birthers think that any woman who has sex without a special ceremony is a slut and deserves to be punished with STDs, unwanted babies and cancer; they truly are an evil movement. But we're supposed to go along with the pretense that they just love the widdle fetuses and not acknowledge that they're really about keeping women down and submissive to the patriarchy.

          1. BigDumbRedDog

            It makes me feel better to be snarky and make fun of these things, but now and then it hits me. People really and truly believe this shit. Then I get a sad. Sigh.

          2. SorosBot

            Oh this stuff gets me very angry. And as a man, I'm only indirectly effected by their shit; if I had a womb I don't know how pissed I'd get.

          3. anniegetyerfun

            My womb has alwasy been open to tenants of Middle Eastern or South Asian descent. Just a rental policy that has treated me well over the years.

          4. tessiee

            "Wombs are overrated. I mainly use mine to store my bike"

            This is even funnier if you know that, in the grade school I went to, "bike" was a euphemism for "dick".

          5. Fare la Volpe

            There was a girl I knew in college who fundamentally, at her core, believed their rhetoric. Every other week she would mass-invite all her friends to an anti-choice rally. She even invited me several times to listen to speakers who were openly anti-gay. Finally one day I couldn't take it any more and told I couldn't attend her prayer breakfast because I was volunteering for Planned Parenthood that morning. I may or may not have made a vacuum sucking sound as she dashed off red-faced.

          6. tessiee

            "There was a girl I knew in college who fundamentally, at her core, believed their rhetoric."

            This reminds me of the funniest line in the movie "Juno".
            Juno comes out of the clinic, where the bible nuts are harassing the patients, and talks to her not very bright friend about it:
            Juno: Did you know my baby has fingernails?
            Friend: Oh, NO! That means that it could, like, scratch your vadge on the way out!

          7. tessiee

            Also, more Jesus Babbies means more cheap workers, more consumers of made in China sweatshop crap, and more dead soldiers. USA! USA!! USA!!!

      2. paris biltong

        Pro-life means protecting the life of every living cell, irrespective of how malign they may be. Killing a tumor is a no-no.

        1. anniegetyerfun

          I'll believe a tumor is a fetus when the Santorums dress it up and bring it home to meet the families.

        2. flamingpdog

          Damn, I wish I'd known that before, Fare. I would have thrown a shower for my sister with ovarian cancer.

      1. flamingpdog

        It used to only cost 10 Ameros to incorporate an organization in the Square State. Even the poorest of the poorz can go another five or six days without food to incorporate themselves to people peoplz too, MB!

      1. SorosBot

        Oh they've been spreading that lie for a long time now, no matter how debunked it's been; fuck the Bush administration tried to have the DHHS spread that bullshit.

          1. tessiee

            Nice to know that my tax dollars are being used for something that's not only batshit insane, but also misogynistic.

      2. imissopus

        So is that why Dems are aborting black babies? So the mothers will get breast cancer? Wait, PP performs abortions and doesn't tell black ladies they are also giving them breast cancer. Which makes anyone who supports Planned Parenthood the real racist.

        But then Dems want to give people health care so doctors can save them by detecting cancer and treating it. But Dems also want to kill people by aborting their babies and giving them boobie cancer. But Dems also need lots and lots of black babies to get hooked on welfare handouts and also vote Democratic…Gah, wingnut logic makes my brain want to curl up in a corner and drink antifreeze.

        1. tessiee

          As nearly as I can figure out, the wingnuts want the wimmenz to have breast cancer, just not from abortions.

  2. KeepFnThatChicken

    "Our only goal for our granting process is to support women and families in the fight against breast cancer."

    EXACTLY. Carry on, please.

      1. Extemporanus

        Thanks — I made a decision to defund pedo to death, forever.

        By the way, every time I see yours, "I'mmm bringin' home a baayy-be bumblebee, won't mah momma be so proud'a me…" gets stuck in my head for the next hour, and as a consequence, I hate life just a wee bit less.

        1. tessiee

          ""I'mmm bringin' home a baayy-be bumblebee, won't mah momma be so proud'a me…" gets stuck in my head"

          Momma: Killer, you bring-a home a little baby sheeps?
          Killer: Duh, no, Momma.

      1. GhostBuggy

        Well, if they don't get cancer, how can our nation's brave Washington "outsiders"/historians divorce them?

  3. memzilla

    Rethuglican Party, please note: your hateful, sexist, racist, poorz-targeted, anti-choice, repressive War On Wimmenz has been called for exactly what it is.

    You like pink? Let's fire up that rusty chainsaw and give you all a collective colonoscopy with it — we'll see how much you like pink.


  4. chicken_thief

    Slightly off topic, but that Karen Handel bitch looks like a younger female version of *gasp* me. And that, my friends, is not good. I wouldn't fuck her with Newt's droopy peen.

    1. Chichikovovich

      As I once remarked to a friend after we were accosted by a sex worker of indeterminate gender while walking through Pigalle:
      "I hope that's a man, because if not, it's the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

    2. SpiderCrab

      She resembles a highly intelligent pig. I'm sure she'd make a fine barbecue sandwich, especially with gobs of slaw and plenty of Frank's Red Hot sauce.

    1. Chichikovovich

      It's not a u-turn. It's a strategic retreat to a defensible position. They have committed not to drop the current grant to PP. They will quietly not renew or (more likely) renew at drastically diminished levels when the furor has died down. These people have revealed themselves to be right-wing movement hacks, and if there is one thing we have learned about these people, it is that they are relentless.

      1. donner_froh

        I agree–in a reply to a comment above I said that even if (when) Komen stops funding Planned Parenthood, PP will have had a year to replace the grant they won't be getting.

        It's just that U-turn goes better with whiplash than strategic retreat to a defensible position, even though your characterization is more accurate.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Sorry, I should have realized you would know that, and should have added something like [Of course, I'm not telling you anything you don't know.]

      2. MittBorg

        This is a reminder to those of us who might have daughters, nieces, lovers, sisters, wives … keep an eye on this group, and, a year from now if they revert to their old ways under the mistaken impression that no one is watching, take them down publicly AGAIN. And again, and again, and again, until they learn their lesson.

        That is the responsibility of a democracy — that all of us citizens have to do our duty to ensure a better world for the ones we leave behind.

        1. tessiee

          "This is a reminder to those of us who might have daughters, nieces, lovers, sisters, wives … keep an eye on this group, and, a year from now if they revert to their old ways under the mistaken impression that no one is watching"

          Except that I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed. The kind of people who care about women's health now know that Komen is a bunch of pandering shits, and even if they do "revert", or get lazy about covering their tracks, or whatever, it would be kinda like Robert Blake turning up with yet another dead wife. "Um, yeah, I know this looks kinda bad…"

  5. freakishlywrong

    Moral of the story: do not hire Sarah Palin’s friends to run any kind of organization that is meant to help people, children!

    We're a center-right, christian country, Goddammit.

  6. fartknocker

    The Koman credibility horse has left the barn and they're trying to get it back. This is what happens when you hire someone who follows the mindset and logic of Joan of Wasilla and her merry minion Teatards.

    My wife and I both agreed we're sending some money to Planned Parenthood this weekend and will not longer support or sanction anything from the Komen foundation. When some of their own staff members quit in response to this, it confirms that this latest spin is total horseshit.

    The only good to come out of this is maybe the rest of America will figure out how vile, stupid, and caustic Sarah Palin is.

    1. MaxNeanderthal

      As you say, the sty door is shut, but the porker has long since left the barn. Too little, too late, ya rancid shithead…

    2. flamingpdog

      Dang, I wish I could agree with you, but I just got a response from one of my (few) teatard "friends" to my caustic Facebook post about SG Komen backing down,and the entire response was a long compilation of Fucks Snooze talking points. Only death will remove the stoopid.

      1. SorosBot

        Part of me is tempted to head over to Breitbart to see what our old trolls are saying about this, but it is a scary place.

    3. Dashboard_Jesus

      amen, the Komen Korp showed their true colors and will never get another dime from me…for the last 10 years we had the largest (non-corporate) team at the Race for the Cure (over 100 people in our group) in memory of my little sister who died from breast cancer 9 years ago…I've always been a bit wary of them with their fascist-like control of pink ribbons and even suing others for using 'CURE' for their events…I made two donations this week to PP, one for the local folks and one for the national org, and will continue to do so…nothing Komen does or says now will convince me that they are NOT assholes!

    1. flamingpdog

      Whenever people talk about Newt and women's body parts in the same sentence, I'm really glad I'm not a woman. I shiver hard enough being a man.

  7. Chichikovovich

    We have been distressed at the presumption that the changes made to our funding criteria were done for political reasons or to specifically penalize Planned Parenthood. They were not.

    Is that why at least two people, that we know of, high in your organization resigned in protest over the decision, and you decided to go forward anyway? Please, as Michael Corleone said to Carlo, under frankly rather similar circumstances, "Just don't tell me that you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry."

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Yeah, I buy that argument of theirs just as much — it's exactly why they defunded PP and then came up with the principle behind it, and then when they explained the principle they couldn't explain why they were still funding Penn State, which is also under investigation. Typical Republican bullshit that their principles are whatever they use to justify their immediate desires.

    2. tessiee

      "as Michael Corleone said to Carlo, under frankly rather similar circumstances, "Just don't tell me that you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry.""

      *is awe-stricken*

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Reminds me of when I was a school child and they taught me the USSR was a terrible, scary place because when they had elections there was only one candidate on the ballot. If the teabaggers had their way …

  8. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Well, it is well known by those on the Conservative side that while they have your breast all tied up in the machine, Plan Parenthood will strive to shove something up your snatch and abort anhtin they find.

  9. SorosBot

    That's nice; still giving my money directly to Planned Parenthood and not to this caving-to-wingnuts Suzan lady.

    1. Barb

      You are absolutely right, my breast loving friend. I gave a donation a few nights ago and it felt really good.

      1. Dashboard_Jesus

        Amen, I gave two donations this week to PP, one for the locals and one for the national org…I give to them every year anyway but upped the ante this time, and yes it does feel good!

    2. fuflans

      i saw the statement from the founder last night(before the u-turn) and i know she lost her sister and all but MAN she was unappealing. pretty much hit every 'PR no-no if trying to control a crises' (whined, blamed the public, implied PP was unsavory, etc.)

      also, she was kinda personally gross: aging entitle white woman wearing too much make-up trying to sound authentic.

  10. StarsUponThars

    So you're saying they aborted their attempts to politically hijack the funding process at Susan G. Komen?

    1. StarsUponThars

      BTW, if you really want a reason to be pissed off, check out its administrative overhead percentage vs. how much money it actually contributes to breast-cancer awareness.

  11. Schmannnity

    What's next? Komen cuts off funding to any organization that funds rape exam kits (keeping in the Palin vein)?

  12. ThundercatHo

    Jean-Luc!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would show you my tits any time, any space,

    P.S.: Komen can still fuck the fuck off. I'm still donating to PP and Emily's List.

  13. Biff

    Until they shitcan Karen Handel, ALL my contributions will go to Planned Parenthood instead. I used to make donations in my mother's and sister's names, a victim and a survivor, respectively.

        1. Generation[redacted]

          It's a lot to juggle. It's going to be heads-down, nose to the grindstone. He's just looking forward to a happy ending.

  14. PeaceWithHonor

    Who are these morons? You're telling me you couldn't see the Decision/Backlash/Reversal pathway laid out before you like the yellow brick fucking road?

    1. Generation[redacted]

      For some reason, pro-life nuts think everyone agrees with them, or would if the rest of us just had a chance to see the sonograms.

      1. tessiee

        A lot of the bible cranks are like that, too. They think that everyone is "really" Christian, and just being a Jew/Muslin/Hindu/atheist/agnostic to be a pain in the ass.

    2. Chichikovovich

      Hard core right wingers tend to only listen to one another and ignore everyone else. So they end up really believing that a huge majority of Americans agree with their anti-woman, anti-worker, anti-birth control agenda, and that only a small cadre of snobbish elitist Democrats are holding them back. It comes as a genuine shock to them to learn otherwise.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Well, unlike Komen, we at Wonkette welcome your tits with open arms, no matter what the status of your wallet may be.

          1. BigDumbRedDog

            Ah, that's so sweet. Hope your not too dissapointed to find out that my tits are almost as flat as my wallet.

          2. Chichikovovich

            Wonkette is a safe, giving place where breasts of all shapes and colours may find warm love and acceptance.

            That's why our motto is: TGTFO!

  15. Callyson

    These assholes will probably just try to defund Planned Parenthood gradually, by reducing future grants bit by bit. But the damage to SGK's reputation has been done…
    …and better yet, now they've probably pissed off the wingnuts as well…

    1. SorosBot

      The Republicans in congress have been trying to defund Planned Parenthood under the guise of deficit reduction since the took the House; luckily the Dems have not caved on it. Not yet anyway.

      1. emmelemm

        Yes. And they lobbied hard behind the scenes against the ACA (that's the acronym of the healthcare reform act, right?).


  16. mrsbitch

    "We will continue to fund existing grants, including those of Planned Parenthood, and preserve their eligibility to apply for future grants, while maintaining the ability of our affiliates to make funding decisions that meet the needs of their communities."

    Fucktard-speak for "Shit, you caught us. Next year when this dies down we'll just quietly not fund them in any community that expresses some hatred of women for any fucking goddamned reason whatsoever. Just try and wade through all that bullshit."

    1. tessiee

      "Just try and wade through all that bullshit."

      Sometimes the bullshit is so deep that you can't row *or* wade through it.

        1. tessiee

          – "you can't row *or* wade through it"

          – "No, but you can shovel it and throw it back."

          Shoveling and throwing it back would save having to consider the relative merits of row vs. wade.

        2. mrsbitch

          Yeah, wtf?!? Not sure what happened there. Apparently Intense Debate hates me – my whole comment history is gone. Not that there was anything profound on it anyway, but still.

  17. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Don't worry, the Conservatives will be back. Just imagine their shock about the fact that Plan Parenthood demands that the women's breast be exposed for the testing!

  18. Biff

    Oddly enough, they never considered defunding Penn State. I hear they're under investigation for something, too.

  19. Extemporanus

    That .gif up top is, like, ten times funnier if you imagine that there's a big pink nipple smack dab on top of Captain Picard's cabeza.

    "Self exam, engage."

      1. Extemporanus

        Still trying to put that problem behind me behind me, but your Cheetara chi-chis are definitely helping.


    1. Generation[redacted]

      I, too, am ashamed, but there's an image from Ozzfest that I just can't get out of my head.

  20. MissTaken

    I would like to hear Planned Parenthood say to SGK, "Thanks, but no thanks. We don't want to take part in your anti-choice, anti-woman platform going forward". But since PP is actually classy, I know they won't.

    Still, my donations will go directly to PP going forward. And SGK, you can stick your little pink ribbons up your little pink asses.

    1. SorosBot

      "you can stick your little pink ribbons up your little pink asses" had me laughing my ass off. Righteous indignance looks good on you.

  21. Fare la Volpe

    Psh, this whole argument is irrelevant, because everyone knows the whole "breast cancer" theory is a lie propagated by the liberal media. My sister had breasts her whole life and not a single "cancer." I inspected them myself everyday when she was asleep.

    Case closed, libtards.

      1. Fare la Volpe

        Nah, I just have an associates in air conditioning repair, BUT I KNOW HOW SCIENCE WORKS, LIBRULS.

  22. Biff

    Just like the republican party. They do OK with incrementalism, but the classic over-reach gets them every time.

  23. SayItWithWookies

    That's very nice that the Komen Foundation has changed their venal, crass, callous minds after being shouted down by an overwhelming majority of the public. Which only means that next time they'll try to be more underhanded about it. Thanks for letting me know that my money is better spent going directly to Planned Parenthood, Ms. Handel.

  24. Dashboard Buddha

    Hmmmm, Internet users crash congress' email servers with protest about SOPA and PIPA, Ellen lays the smack on "One Million Moms", and now this. 2012 been pretty good so far.

  25. HolyCow!!

    The more I read about the Komen marketing firm…I mean charity. The more it sounds like a huge scam.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        That IS a very impassioned and informative article. The comments following it are also excellent and worth the time it takes to read them. Among the good links provided there —

        A great cartoon:… ]

        A cancer survivor's take-down of Komen's good Charity Navigator rating:

        Detailed info about Komen's political agenda:

        All worth reading IMHO.

  26. spareme

    Glad to see women from all over the country made their thoughts known on this. Next – hopefully they will do the same when the personhood stuff comes up. Personally, I am hanging up my pink running shoes, throwing out the damn pink ribbons (I hate that color anyway), and will be throwing more of my efforts to the PP Center I worked in as a volunteer in college.Lesson to anyone who wants to screw around politically with our private partz: go fuck yourself.

  27. widestanceshakedown

    I hope Handel is happy, now that she has titty-fucked herself in the face before the world.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      She was gettin' bombed,
      And I was gettin' blown away,
      And she held it in her hand
      And this is what she had to say:
      A pearl necklace.
      She wanna pearl necklace.
      She wanna pearl necklace.

  28. Chichikovovich

    Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation. We will amend the criteria to make clear that disqualifying investigations must be criminal and conclusive in nature and not political.

    And by that we mean, we'll wait until some wingnut assistant assistant DA brings trumped-up criminal charges against PP.

  29. Barb

    The Komen Foundation is known for using donated funds to sue other cancer foundations. Stay classy, Komen.

    1. SorosBot

      Apparently they've trademarked the phrase "for the cure" and sue anyone who tries to use it. Really this whole trademarking common phrases has gotten out of hand – look also at how the NFL is quick to sue anyone who publicly uses the word Superbowl and isn't one of their sponsors, and even tried to trademark the phrase "the big game" when people started using it as a euphemism to get around that.

    2. Chichikovovich

      I have a feeling this is a turning point for Komen – people are starting actually look at them, and are disturbed by what they are seeing. The number of people who send their donations directly to Sloan-Kettering or to PP rather than a high-overhead, litigious, wingnut-driven group that pays its head honchos nearly $500,000 a year is likely to be pretty high. The number of people who – like me – have purchased their last item with a little pink ribbon on it is also likely large – not something that encourages participation by corporate partners.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Well, if they are paying their CEO $500K per year, you know it's only a matter of time before greedy Republicans start oozing their way in to get their hands on some of that sweet sweet titty cancer money.

  30. SiameseCatLady

    I agree! Until Karen Handel is either shit-canned or resigns (hopefully in humiliating public disgrace) I will never give a penny to SGK.

  31. FakaktaSouth

    Hey SGK, you can have another donation when you pry it out of my cold, dead cleavage.

    I hate breast cancer – it killed my hubs' mom when she was 45, my dear friend when she was 35 – and I will NEVER give this foundation another dime. Planned Parenthood is my new go-to…

  32. Chichikovovich

    Ah, memories. It seems like only last night that Brinker was telling Andrea Mitchell that most people were applauding the decision:

    "All I can tell you is that the responses we're getting are very, very favorable…People who have bothered to read the material, who have bothered to understand the issues– again, we work for a mission every day of our lives."

    And it seemed like only yesterday that they were telling us that it was for the sake of womens' health, because PP didn't do their own mammograms. Now this claim took something of a credibility hit when it was observed that almost no physicians have their own on site mammogram machines, but who are we to call Komen liars? According to the position they were maintaining less than 24 hours ago, their reversal on the PP decision is bad for women's health.

    Y'know – I'm beginning to suspect that they might be lying to us now, too. Am I crazy?

    1. kissawookiee

      Bitching at Planned Parenthood for not doing mammograms = bitching at Jiffy Lube for not doing transmission repair.

    2. tessiee

      "Y'know – I'm beginning to suspect that they might be lying to us now, too. Am I crazy?"

      Can't it be both?

  33. emmelemm

    So, here's a nice way to let Komen know what you think of them (and this weasel-y backpedaling is just that – they didn't say they'll continue to fund PP, just that they're not pulling existing money, for now, etc. etc.):

    Go to

    Click Donate

    Instead of "One Time Gift", click on the "Honorary Giving" tab

    Fill in the acknowledgement section with:

    Karen Handel – Senior VP
    c/o Susan G. Komen Foundation
    P.O. Box 650309
    Dallas, TX 75265

    Then Karen Handel gets a postcard saying you donated to PP in honor of her.

      1. emmelemm

        Ah, thank you, that's sweet, but I can't claim credit: My local "alt weekly" paper, The Stranger, suggested it. And I did! I'm positively gleeful at the thought of PP sending tons of postcards to SGK headquarters saying "So and so donated in YOUR name!"

      1. emmelemm

        Also, too, it was suggested that if you had ever donated to Komen in the past, and received one of those pink rubber bracelets, that you cut it up into little bits and mail it to them.

        I've never gotten any "pink" merch, but I have sponsored people doing Race for the Cure. Ugh.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Just printed my receipts. Donations from me AND mom. I have to say I was tempted to put it "In Memory" of Karen Handel, but they didn't give me space to write, "Here's hoping she disappears soon." Thanks for the inspiration, Em.

    2. randoracer

      Thanks for posting this. I just contributed, and I just passed your suggestion on to all of my friends (which, admittedly, isn't that big of a number). I do love irony.

  34. Steverino247

    Tits, meet wringer.

    What a PR disaster for the organization I would name except I don't want to get sued for misspelling the name or using the wrong color pink.

  35. Chichikovovich

    I suppose we should have seen this coming when Komen chose a VP whose name means "Commerce".

  36. Biff

    In komen's tweet this morning, they said they'd continue to fund PP to the tune of $250K. Somewhere else I read they donated $7M annually, but the $650K actually donated to PP by some of us in the aftermath of komen's disastrous decision seems to be close to the actual annual contributions by komen. Math is hard, I know, but wtf?

  37. proudgrampa

    As the husband of a breast cancer survivor (17 years and counting: you go, Mrs proudgrampa!!) I have always been suspicious of the Komen. Just seemed to me like they were in it for the wrong reasons.

    A shame that they could not remain apolitical.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Now that's a thrilling story. Please give her a big hug, and a big wet smooch, from all of us.

    2. widestanceshakedown

      You stayed with her after she ruined your life with her cancer? Why do you hate America?

      (snark aside, proudgrampa, I also have a survivor in my life and I'm sure it's true for you too that not one day is taken for granted since. Best wishes for the proudgrampas)

    3. Pithaughn

      I'm always suspicious of a foundation named after somebody. Bill and Melinda excluded of course.

  38. Chichikovovich

    Incidentally, in case you missed it, here is the content of a message Handel re-tweeted two days ago: "Just like a pro-abortion group to turn a cancer orgs decision into a political bomb to throw. Cry me a freaking river."

    Someone obviously advised her to take it down, and she did, but the internet is forever.
    (See for yourself: )

    1. ThundercatHo

      Hey, Bitch. Several thousand people have given donations to PP and decided to defund your sorry ass. Cry me a fucking river.

  39. prommie

    Nothing good comes from Texas, and fuck Austin, too, I am sick of hearing how its cool, if it was so cool, it would have left Texas.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Austin tried that, moved to Southern California for a while, but then was extraordinarily renditioned back to Texas.

  40. OneYieldRegular

    They're going to have one hell of a time getting their money back from that supplier in American Samoa who just finished printing up thousands of pink t-shirts emblazoned with Komen's new slogan: "Abort tumors – not fetuses!"

    Anyway, yes: direct your contributions to PP and bypass Komen altogether.

  41. Antispandex

    "Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation."

    …but now it's just fine. We have discovered our inner Teapublican. Folks under investigation are just fine, if they are helping us get more money.


  42. Come here a minute

    I'll leave the mocking of these morons to those with the "Komen" parts, but I'd like to point out that Planned Parenthood also screens and treats the boy parts.

    1. tessiee

      Good point.
      However, that isn't evil, since boy parts are not an abomination in the eyes of Jeebus (unless, of course, they somehow come into contact with other boy parts); only the ladyparts are.

  43. donner_froh

    Planned Parenthood chapters have had to deal with bomb scares, real bomb threats, real bombs, insane protesters, credible death threats, etc. etc.

    Not surprising they knew how to handle this kerfluffle.

  44. Barrelhse

    All I said was, this looks like collusion between Handel and the gentleman from Fla. in an effort to push the right-wing religious agenda.

  45. anniegetyerfun

    I'd rather give money to the abortion people anyway. I love tits, but Pink Everything is so annoying. At least Planned Parenthood doesn't make everyone wear Aborted Fetus Flesh Tone* for a whole month.

    *Dark brown, according to Newt's spokesmoron.

    1. tessiee

      One of my family members is a breast cancer survivor, who said, "You know what's even worse than having breast cancer? Having breast cancer AND I HATE THE COLOR PINK!!"

  46. Troglodeity

    "We have been distressed at the presumption that the changes made to our funding criteria were done for political reasons or to specifically penalize Planned Parenthood. They were not."

    That is such utter and total BULLSHIT – BULLSHIT!!!!! – that my family can no longer support the Komen Foundation even after their turnaround on this issue.

    Why would we want to continue to give money to someone who tells total, bald-faced lies? (Well, other than a politician.)

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      She's already the captain Schettino of the charity business, so I think Carnival would have second thoughts about that.

    1. Chichikovovich

      They were obviously digging in last night. Brinker on Andrea Mitchell saying that emails to them were 2:1 in their favor, how if people really took the time to understand they'd see Komen was making the right decision. Handel retweeting an incendiary tweet. Brinker posting (one or two days ago) this spectacularly dishonest video on youtube, which contains an awful lot of crow to eat:

      Then a few phone calls from a bunch of enormous corporations, and suddenly – in an instant – some wackjob Florida congressman's worthless investigation, some cottage bible printer dropping their pink bible, etc. don't seem so important anymore.

      Big Capitol in action is a powerful thing.

  47. Pithaughn

    Right, I'm waiting , show me one, just one document that shows a donor expressing your failure to "fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors".
    The upside from all this is that now we all know what kind of people are running the show over there at the pink ribbon club, and never give them another dime.

  48. UW8316154

    I've been on the Seattle Times comment boards for the past two days, defending the right to choose – the right to choose to get gay married, and the right to choose to have a legal medical procedure. The religous wingnuts are out in force. It looks like a NOM will front a major effort to overturn the law in Washington state. I'm exhausted. But the thing is, I always knew Komen was a self-serving marketing organization… I'm just unbelievably pleased that now the entire country know it, too.

  49. lochnessmonster

    How much of the money they get REALLY goes to research or do the higher ups make some hefty salaries? Just remember this is a paltry $700,000 out of the millions they take in each year.

    That said, they are a private organization and can choose to fund what they want, like I can choose to not fund them and fund PP instead.

    It is my understanding they will honor this year but cut them next.

    1. imissopus

      Apparently that's been the general theme of the freak-out over at NRO today: HOW DARE THE LIBERALS QUESTION WHAT A PRIVATE CHARITY DOES WITH ITS MONEY??!!

      Which is of course missing the point. Komen can do whatever the hell it wants with the money donated to it, and the donors can choose to get upset and not send them money anymore. Free market!

  50. Rotundo_

    My charitable donations and purchases of "Komen" gear is pretty limited, I have bought things in charity auctions and dumb stuff like that, and mercifully am *not* on their mailing list. Not another cent. If they would consider a fascist to head the organization, I'm not interested. There are plenty of organizations, some of them reputable unlike these creeps, that are in the fight against breast cancer and more. I don't have much to give, but what I can will go to them.

  51. ghblowhard

    If we can prevent all the poor womens out there without healthcare from getting free cancer screanings then they'll die and won't be able to vote for baby hating libruls or worse men hating feminazis. Nothing says pro-life like killing off poor people!

  52. ttommyunger

    First clue: hiring Karen Handel. As a 40 year resident of the Great State of Dumfukistan, I am familiar with this smug little bitch on wheels. She is a cunt's cunt; but with open sores and scabs. I understand she is now looking for another job. Pretty sure the Heritage Foundation or Faux will find a slot for her.

  53. spareme

    I can't wait for Pinktober, this ought to be fun. I'm throwing out everything I own thats pink, except for my toe shoes, which I worked more honestly to earn than Komen ever has worked, For anything. Also, I will be funding the great cancer research center in my home town, as well as PP, with whom I worked in college.

    What I really would like to do is post a bunch of vulgar fun explesives, however, screwing them out of money is more fun.

  54. wolvenwood13

    So why did they hire Karen Handel anyway? If Komen Found. truly wanted to help women prevent breast cancer, they would tell them about the Gerson diet (and other diets that prevent/cure cancer), Essiac, sheep sorrel, baking soda and molasses, iodine and potassium iodide, etc. and many other natural cancer cures that work far, far better than chemo/radiation and don't require exposing yourself to radiation and risking cancer, in order to prevent it.

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