FINAL ENDORSEMENTS  10:43 pm February 2, 2012

Donald Trump Now Planning To Bury People In His Tacky Golf Course

by Wonkette Jr.

Okay, not 'free admission' at all. That wouldn't be very 'the Donald,' would it?Why is Donald Trump in the news again? Wasn’t he banished for the rest of 2012? Guess not. Besides the dingle-dongle Endorse Newt vs. Endorse Mittens moment of this morning, vulgar hair-weave troglodyte Donald Trump is also planning to bury people in his tacky country club golf course graveyard in New Jersey. Give Trump some credit for trying to sell something most people who “lucked into money” in New Jersey desperately fear: being buried in a landfill by their mob boss.

It is environmentally despicable to be pumped full of poison chemicals and buried in some Costco casket with enough brass accents to be its own little Trump Tower, but if you’re going to go that way because you’re a sleazy old New Jersey country club mafioso, Trump’s golf courses deserve to be dug up and filled with corpses. Better the Donald’s acres of turf than some actual nice natural land, right?

The Associated Press reports:

They say you can’t take it with you when you die, but that’s not necessarily true for the wealthiest Americans — like Donald Trump.

He announced this week he is considering building a 1.5-acre cemetery next to his high-end golf course in Bedminster, where members pay a lifetime fee of as much as $300,000. If they want to stay beyond that, they most likely will pay a membership fee that includes burial.

When the next big earthquake strikes the East Coast, it will be funny when the embalmed oldsters pop out of the golf course and nobody can tell them apart from the golfers who are “still alive.” [AP/SFGate]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 176 comments }

memzilla February 2, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Bedminster is known as Horse Country, so there is the satisfaction of having any crony of Trump's being covered in horse s**t for eternity.

As In Life, So In Death.

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 9:33 am

Sadly, it is now Horses Ass Country.

Chet Kincaid February 3, 2012 at 9:43 am

You don't mean "shit" do you?! Oh, my delicate sensibilities!

memzilla February 3, 2012 at 10:14 am

Quite the contrary. I just don't want to get googled and have obscenities come up in someone's search results. Don't particularly care about being proven to be a libtard, though… go figure.

Chet Kincaid February 3, 2012 at 10:54 am

Well, the company you keep around here has blown your online rep, so you might as well cuss away!

shrillharpy February 2, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Gross.

jus_wonderin February 3, 2012 at 11:05 am

Trump? Or his idea?

SorosBot February 2, 2012 at 10:52 pm

How about, if I die, I just have my family leave my stinking, rotten, maggot-infested corpse on Trump's doorstep?

memzilla February 2, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Trump will securitize your remains, backdate the viatical policy, bill your family for the processing and handling, and declare bankruptcy before they can sue. It's the American Way!

Fukui_sanYesOta February 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Corpse Default Swaps.

WunkRocker February 3, 2012 at 10:50 am

And then he opens a casino on the same 1.5 acres…

Barrelhse February 3, 2012 at 10:21 am

If they set you on fire and ring the doorbell maybe he'll stomp on your pus-filled corpse!

Fukui_sanYesOta February 2, 2012 at 10:53 pm

"Hobson! This corpse is blocking my shot to the fifth green. Please inform the board that I shall be requiring a refund for this year's membership."

memzilla February 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Sorry, PGA rules only allow you a ball drop no nearer to the hole.

flamingpdog February 2, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Ashholes to ashholes, dust to dust.

Loaded_Pants February 3, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Put to put.

BklynIlluminati February 2, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Be kind put the divots back or zombies come

FakaktaSouth February 2, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I swear to God I just heard George Carlin's zombie head explode from beyond the grave. Cemeteries NEXT to golf courses. That is just something else. I can hear Craig T Nelson screaming (I channel a lot of old dude type celebrities) YOU FORGOT TO MOVE THE BODIES DIDN'T YA???? Yetch.

memzilla February 2, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 2:50 am

The 13th holetergeist is a par 666.

(Ugh. Even with my handicap, that's definitely getting marked down as a bogey, man.)

flamingpdog February 2, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Whatever. I just hope the cemetary fills up quickly.

coolhandnuke February 2, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Don of the Dead.

BarackMyWorld February 2, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Win.

memzilla February 2, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Trump's cemetary will also require you to pay an annual placeholding fee to keep your premium location. Otherwise your grave is exhumed for the higher bidder and your remains are composted for divot replacement.

smokefilledroommate February 2, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Your ass in my grass with some gold-plated klass!

Isyaignert February 3, 2012 at 2:21 am

The Trumpet has class all right – but it's all third.

smokefilledroommate February 3, 2012 at 2:57 am

Yeah–don't all of his Russian hooker-wives have КГДВЅ?

doloras February 4, 2012 at 12:43 am

What does KGDVS stand for?

Negropolis February 3, 2012 at 7:42 am

Klass out of the ass, as they say.

arihaya February 2, 2012 at 11:06 pm

But wait, there is more: Register now and you will get a FREE posthumous baptism by Bishop Mittens himself !!

And, for bonus you can get your VERY OWN Mormon planet heavens. *

*terms and conditions apply

Biel_ze_Bubba February 3, 2012 at 11:16 am

Can I get a Trump™ Mormon Zombie Planet? I hear those are just tremendous, fantastic, huuuuge, with absolutely the best of everything. Classy, in other words.

GuanoFaucet February 2, 2012 at 11:08 pm

You're pyred!

HistoriCat February 2, 2012 at 11:09 pm

"Donald Trump" – don't really know much about the guy but he seems to be a mover and a shaker … maybe he would make a good president.

Isyaignert February 3, 2012 at 2:21 am

Naaaaaahhhhh.

tealsheart February 3, 2012 at 9:16 am

President of the hair club for men

Biff February 2, 2012 at 11:09 pm

This is why The Donald is so rich, he's a real forward thinker. When I was a kid, I knew nothing of zoning laws and the like, and couldn't understand why Colma was so full of dead people, orchid hothouses and auto dealerships. The Donald knows things.

SorosBot February 2, 2012 at 11:10 pm

So if they're adding in headstone hazards, a full-sized windmill you have to shoot the ball through should be next.

shrillharpy February 2, 2012 at 11:15 pm

There should be a waterfall in there somewhere as well. And maybe a dinosaur.

Nothingisamiss February 3, 2012 at 5:17 am

*squeals* "Oh! Let's go visit grandpa!"

ChernobylSoup February 3, 2012 at 6:46 am

Excellent.

orygoon February 2, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Mixed feelings here. I like cemeteries (they're great places for walks) but don't like golf courses.

But, I suppose, rest assured the Trump boneyard will be the ultimate in tacky.

HempDogbane February 3, 2012 at 8:19 am

Trump PREMIUM Boneyard !

Guppy February 2, 2012 at 11:14 pm

I just don't need none of that Mad Max bullshit!

Lucidamente1 February 2, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Well, Donald Trump = Land Dump Rot

AlterNewt February 2, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Who?

johnnyzhivago February 2, 2012 at 11:20 pm

What a put-z!

Schmannnity February 2, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Donald Trump–the Ted Knight of cemeteries. Hope there are lots of gophers.

SorosBot February 2, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Wait, Donald Trump is the Golden Age Starman? (Or is there some other Ted Knight besides the comic book character and I just don't get this reference?)

Angry_Marmot February 3, 2012 at 1:24 am

But I'll buy you a drink for naming the Golden Age Starman.

Chet Kincaid February 3, 2012 at 9:47 am

Are you so young that you never even watched "Mary Tyler Moore" on Nick At Nite?!

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 9:52 am

More like I didn't watch Nick at Nite because my family wasn't rich and so we didn't have cable.

Chet Kincaid February 3, 2012 at 10:56 am

Ted Knight is still up there on the local market UHF channels somewhere as we speak, blubbering at Ed Asner, so poverty is no excuse!

BarackMyWorld February 2, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Please tell me this is the last Trump story for a while.

mavenmaven February 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Sounds like the setup for a new Poltergeist film.

bflrtsplk February 3, 2012 at 5:16 am

`More like Pet Sematery II

C_R_Eature February 3, 2012 at 9:48 am

"Putter Geist"

*Groan* Sorry.

BearNoLike February 2, 2012 at 11:31 pm

There's a hole in one/one in a hole joke here. I'm not drunk enough yet.

Nothingisamiss February 3, 2012 at 5:18 am

What about now?

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 7:24 am

Donald Trump, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling "Gama Su!, Gama Su!". Hearing this, the Donald knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwards went to sleep.
The next day while playing golf with his Japanese business colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Donald joined in and began yelling, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"

Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked "Wrong hole? What do you mean wrong hole?"

shrillharpy February 2, 2012 at 11:34 pm

This whole thread makes me wanna go re-watch "Harold and Maude."

SexySmurf February 2, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Speaking of future leaders of the free world: Roseanne Barr seeks Green Party presidential nod.

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 1:41 am

Katie, Barr the door!

(All of them, Katie.)

imissopus February 3, 2012 at 2:36 am

Well, why not.

Negropolis February 3, 2012 at 3:07 am

I would pay to see her debate Obama and the Republican nominee. No, really; I'd actually pay.

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 7:27 am

"I'm a presidential goddess. HA! No really. Remember, a long time ago I made my husband call me a domestic goddess instead of a housewife? Get it? Domestic goddess, now presidential goddess? Taking care of my brood? C'mon guys, it was funny"

tealsheart February 3, 2012 at 9:18 am

Me too also

Jukesgrrl February 2, 2012 at 11:40 pm

But will the cemetery be HUUUUUGE? (C'mon, someone had to say it.)

WhatTheHeck February 2, 2012 at 11:53 pm

It will be. Cause you can’t go mixing blacks and whites or christians jews and muslims. They all get sorted on the other side.
Like god bringing in the thieves.

Biff February 3, 2012 at 12:52 am

1,5 acre doesn't sound like much, but consider the possibilities of a high-rise!

ShaveTheWhales February 3, 2012 at 1:19 am

Or a low-rise.

Negropolis February 3, 2012 at 7:40 am

That's what he said.

WunkRocker February 3, 2012 at 10:57 am

65,333 sq ft. Better stack 'em. Or reuse holes. Like his Russian Mail order trannies.

WhatTheHeck February 2, 2012 at 11:45 pm

It is far easier for a rich man to pass through the ass of a camel than it is for him to enter the pearly gates carrying bags of loot.

fuflans February 2, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Chet Kincaid February 3, 2012 at 9:55 am

Don't you understand? A scheming, corrupt, adulterous, fat, disgraced, venal White Gentleman who rents his wife by the week with expensive jewelry is of higher social status than a Negro President Of The United States, who must be put in his place at all costs.

flamingpdog February 2, 2012 at 11:52 pm

Maybe someome could convince Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries to stage a 17.9-million dollar funeral for themselves at the Donald's necropolis.

SheriffRoscoe February 3, 2012 at 12:02 am

Forest Lawn Cemetery and Golf Course: You Won't Believe How Our Grass Stays So Green!

Negropolis February 3, 2012 at 12:04 am

Wait, planning? I thought all of his properties were mixed-use.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 3, 2012 at 12:05 am

Come on, people, it's a natural.

Hackers, dead bodies…it's like reality tv, only it'll be cheap programming for the horror flick crowd.

I'm thinking there's going to be some natural H.P. Lovecraft material that can be worked in here.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

"In his house in Jersey, dead Donald's hair waits dreaming."
~

slowhansolo February 3, 2012 at 12:37 am

The Hair at Red Hook?
The Strange High Hair in the Mist?
The Dunwich Hair-or?

slowhansolo February 3, 2012 at 12:12 am

Donald's war against the Varmint Cong continues…

Biff February 3, 2012 at 12:28 am

Gophers, golfers, same thing.

slowhansolo February 3, 2012 at 12:45 am

Hey everybody! We're all gonna get laid!

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 3:05 am

…to rest!

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 7:28 am

Nice chip shot there, sir.

Angry_Marmot February 3, 2012 at 1:29 am

Bark like a dog for me…

RadioFetusEater February 3, 2012 at 12:33 am

Debbie Wasserman Schultz wasn't kidding when she called them job cremators, not job creators.

O/T, who knew that our esteemed DNC Chair was a co-sponsor of SOPA?

Biff February 3, 2012 at 12:59 am

I did not know that. So easily lead astray..,

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 1:23 am

DNC get in bed with Hollywood moguls? Who'd a thunk it?

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 5:58 am

"…job cremators, not job creators."

Ash holes are the new sand traps.

DerrickWildcat February 3, 2012 at 12:36 am

It will be classy. The classiest Golf course/Graveyard ever built.

SudsMcKenzie February 3, 2012 at 12:37 am

Introducing "Trump Death", all of the finality of regular death, with the added Class of New Jersey.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 12:41 am

Actually, golf courses and cemeteries go great together; both are giant complete wastes of land that could be either left for nature or used for something that benefits living people, but instead serve no purpose whatsoever.

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 1:24 am

Soundz like Capitol Hill.

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 5:16 am

You know what else serves no purpose whatsoever? (Besides Republican Party presidential primaries).

coolhandnuke February 3, 2012 at 12:46 am

Puts a whole new twist on the golfing term–a buried lie.

SudsMcKenzie February 3, 2012 at 1:01 am

… and the nineteenth hole.

SheriffRoscoe February 3, 2012 at 12:58 am

You know who else was buried in a rich man's tomb?

SudsMcKenzie February 3, 2012 at 1:05 am

Indiana Jones?

ifthethunderdontgetya February 3, 2012 at 1:13 am

HITLER!!!
~

coolhandnuke February 3, 2012 at 1:19 am

Jimmy Hoffa?

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 1:25 am

Ulysses S. Grant?

Jukesgrrl February 3, 2012 at 1:31 am

King Tut?

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 7:24 am

No, that was a condo made of stone-a.

Angry_Marmot February 3, 2012 at 1:31 am

Anna Nicole Smith?

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 1:32 am
Callyson February 3, 2012 at 1:39 am

William R. Simonson?

flamingpdog February 3, 2012 at 1:48 am

Jesus of Nazareth?

imissopus February 3, 2012 at 2:35 am

Tevye?

Negropolis February 3, 2012 at 3:08 am

The King of Pop?

Biff February 3, 2012 at 1:09 am

Tomb of the Unknown Golfer Gopher.

Troglodeity February 3, 2012 at 1:18 am

This is perfect. They can name the cemetery "The Nineteenth Hole."

SayItWithWookies February 3, 2012 at 1:41 am

The Trump Hereafter® — because a lifetime isn't long enough to be an insufferable prick.

Fukui_sanYesOta February 3, 2012 at 1:51 am

The most luxurious, steak-sizzle, gilted purgatory.

Actually, I've seen Trump Tower in NY. That'd be purgatory for most people. It's fucking hideous.

Bonghits4Jesus February 3, 2012 at 2:05 am

Nouveau riche get a place to dump their final load at new Trump Dump.

GeorgiaBurning February 3, 2012 at 2:08 am

"Golf courses and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate” (Rodney Dangerfield). Texas comes in at #3

gurukalehuru February 3, 2012 at 2:21 am

Actually, it strikes me as quite an appropriate combination.

imissopus February 3, 2012 at 2:39 am

I remember when we put his brain in Bill the Cat's body. He was still married to whatshername, the hooker with the accent. Can't believe this guy's still in the news.

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 3:24 am

This is good news for Lee Trevino.

slowhansolo February 3, 2012 at 3:43 am

But Zoeller's looking kind of fuzzy.

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 5:54 am

My comment currently has one upfist.

Your reply currently has three upfists.

This can mean only one thing: That huge new downfist button really does work!

YAAAYY…er, wait…

Oh, crap.

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 7:21 am

No worries, extem…I got your back

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 8:08 am

Supermex says "hola":

"How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice."<:I>

MadBrahms February 3, 2012 at 4:20 am

Most of us, however, will only be buried in debt.

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 5:25 am

The paths of glory lead but to New Jersey.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 12:06 pm

As do the glory holes

Poindexter718 February 3, 2012 at 7:09 am

Is this business strategy best described as vertical integration or horizontal integration?

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 7:30 am

When Hell is full, the dead shall gather at… The 19th Hole!

Edit: Holy cow…I made a joke within a joke without even knowing it. The 19th hole is slang for the bar in the clubhouse (hah! clubhouse…get it?) AND it's slang for a place to bury people who get in the way. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteenth_hole )

Who knew golf could be filled with so many things?

tealsheart February 3, 2012 at 9:22 am

Donnald knew

Evil AynBot February 3, 2012 at 10:18 am

Who knew golf could be filled with so many things?

I enjoy "Golf," the card game, quite often — it is just about the only card game my card-playing friends & I are inclined to engage in.
Perhaps someday I'll get around to trying the actual sport, too.

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 10:21 am

I used to enjoy playing golf video games. There was one a long time ago where you could shoot down blimps and helicopters. Good times.

Biff February 3, 2012 at 11:35 am

Doesn't wii have one for hipster shut-ins?

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 11:44 am

I can only imagine what nursing homes will look like when my generation get there. We'll probably be playing Call of Duty: Elder Storm or Mario Hoverround.

Bluestatelibel February 3, 2012 at 7:55 am

I can't think of anyone more sensitive and dignified that I would want handling the final arrangements for my loved ones than Donald Trump! (Question: does he throw in the orange embalming?)

Monsieur_Grumpe February 3, 2012 at 8:09 am

Tombstones and mausoleums would make for interesting obstacles. We're talking about miniature golf… right?

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 8:10 am

I can't sleep, so here:

♪♫ And he's buying a fairway, to heaven… ♪♫

The Legend of Body Bagger Vance

Cadaver Shack

Fore! Weddings and a Funeral

And you thought doglegs were tricky.

This is literally a wedge issue.

"What's your handicap?"
"Dead."
"How many strokes is that?"
"One."
"One is all you need."

Q: How did Donald Trump throw out his back?
A: He fell off the ball washer.

Sparky MacGyver February 3, 2012 at 8:10 am

Hey, everyone, We're all going to get laid (to rest)!

BaldarTFlagass February 3, 2012 at 8:14 am

I was thinking Bowie.
Or that John Carpenter movie with Jeff Bridges?

Chichikovovich February 3, 2012 at 8:46 am

There's a lot of synergy potential here, because the course is next to a branch campus of Miskatonic University, and Donald Trompé has been supporting the research of a rising star in human pathology, Dr. Herbert West.

C_R_Eature February 3, 2012 at 9:56 am

Tonight on NBC! Donald Trump's new Reality TV show: "Celebrity Re-Animator!"

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Funny you should mention it. My daughter got her degree there (ad nauseam, I'm proud to say). She minored in love crafts.

Ruhe February 3, 2012 at 8:49 am

"Popping out of" and thus disturbing the turf would be a clear violation of Rule 13 (see clause re: "building a stance").

elburritodeluxe February 3, 2012 at 9:07 am

Bedminister has ridiculous high property taxes. Designating part of your golf course as a cemetery (held in a special trust at a much lower property tax rate) is actually quite clever.

Biff February 3, 2012 at 11:38 am

In that case, I think I see what he did, there.

SpiderCrab February 3, 2012 at 9:15 am

I heard that Trump let Mittens in on the ground floor.

LiveToServeYa February 3, 2012 at 9:16 am

There they lie, between the tee and the green
Along the fairway to Heaven
Until the last Trump calls with lone trumpette
Raising the dead inconceivable

KeepFnThatChicken February 3, 2012 at 9:20 am

There's a sense that development within his Trumpany has slowed to a crawl. He's now selling real estate to dead people.

C_R_Eature February 3, 2012 at 9:23 am

Golf and Death, two of my least favorite things.

Wait…Golf, Death and Donald Trump, Three of my least favorite things.

No, wait…Golf, Death, Donald Trump and New Jersey

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 9:30 am

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

C_R_Eature February 3, 2012 at 9:33 am

One of my favorite quotes from Mr. Clemens!

tealsheart February 3, 2012 at 9:26 am

Fuck 'em both till they get Bishop Eddie Long endorsement.

widestanceshakedown February 3, 2012 at 10:11 am

Or would that be, "endowment"?

kissawookiee February 3, 2012 at 10:21 am

He's the only Bedminister for me.

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 9:28 am

Listen, his aim is really bad, so he needed a bigger hole to sink his putts in.

Dashboard Buddha February 3, 2012 at 9:29 am

Mr. Santorum?

actor212 February 3, 2012 at 11:07 am

Bubble and squeak

C_R_Eature February 3, 2012 at 9:36 am

I understand That Mr. Trump will spend a year Dead there, for Tax Reasons.

Indiepalin February 3, 2012 at 9:39 am

Is Trump angling for a re-make of "Poltergeist"?

BarackMyWorld February 3, 2012 at 10:48 am

Heard it.

OneYieldRegular February 3, 2012 at 9:51 am

My guess is that the "No divots" rule is going to be very, very, very strictly enforced. (My god, why do I even know what a divot is? I loathe golf.).

Gratuitous World February 3, 2012 at 10:22 am

Golf courses and cemetaries?

Trump is the bizarro Al Czervik

BaldarTFlagass February 3, 2012 at 10:40 am

If I knew anything about golf, aside from what I learned in Caddyshack and Goldfinger, I could probably come up with a clever cogent comment here. But I don't, and it looks like all of the low-hanging Caddyshack fruit has already been plucked, so I guess I will fold my arms, tap my toe, and impatiently glance at my watch every 45 seconds or so while I impatiently await the first post of the morning.

MissTaken February 3, 2012 at 10:56 am

Noonan, Noonan, Nnnoooooonnnan

BaldarTFlagass February 3, 2012 at 10:58 am

OK, I missed one.

SorosBot February 3, 2012 at 11:06 am

Ew you've given me the picture of some poor guy having sex with her now.

MissTaken February 3, 2012 at 11:18 am

Oh, and I was imagining some mortician messing with another mortician about not getting the coffin in the grave. I try avoid all thoughts of Peggington Nooningtonshire this early in the morning.

Chet Kincaid February 3, 2012 at 11:07 am

We were promised Ginger Snaps all week! Where are they?!

Blueb4sunrise February 3, 2012 at 10:45 am

Your morning waiting for a new thread watching Wisc. Recall links.

T-Bone Shuffle
. http://mirrors.5nines.com/stream/

thefrontpage February 3, 2012 at 10:55 am

MAFIA ISSUES STATEMENT ON TRUMP BURIAL GROUNDS

FEB. 3, 2012 (Hoboken, N.J.)—The Mafia, also known as La Cosa Nostra, The Syndicate, Organized Crime of America (OCA), The Silician Underground and The Five Families and Associated Families, issued this official Mafia statement today, in response to Donald Trump's plans to have people buried at his golf course:

"This Trump goonbah should know–and needs to know–that the Mafia handles all burials at all golf courses in the states of New Jersey, New York, Illinois, Florida, Louisiana, Pennsylvania and Connecticut. Any infringement of this territory will be met by extreme responses–unlessing, of course, Trump owes up and offers a certain generous 'donation' to the Five Familes. Say, five million, in cold, hard cash. Then, we'll maybe let him bury some bodies at his tacky golf course place."

Contact: Anzolini "The Groundskeeper" Andolni, Hoboken, N.J., Kandi Apples Nightclub, Sinatra Street, Hoboken.

DustBowlBlues February 3, 2012 at 10:56 am

Afterward, did they have a private party where Trump kept going into hissy fits over the fact he had a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate the occasion and kept saying, in between the two of them talking about how good the very poor have it, "what's this mormon thing? Hae a glass. I'll go tell those mormon bosses "listen motherfucker: this is Dom Perignon, not some wino white port crap".

paris biltong February 3, 2012 at 11:04 am

Matt Langer is probably partying all night with our girls and we're left waiting for them to emerge from their slumber and post something on the Gifzette and the Wonkette. What a life!

jus_wonderin February 3, 2012 at 11:11 am

I can't compete today. Some of these comments are…killin' me.

ttommyunger February 3, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Leave it to the Trumpster to keep coming up with novel and inventive ways to bury the stiff.

BZ1 February 3, 2012 at 12:37 pm

The Donald's cemetery, classy …

slowhansolo February 3, 2012 at 11:08 am

And now your meta commentary stands to exceed my witless rejoinder. Amazing what a bad night's sleep can do…

Extemporanus February 3, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Your rejoinder was in no way witless — I spent a good hour trying to come up with a decent and worthy Chi-Chi Rodriguez quip in reply, but obviously failed.

I did give Chi-Chi a banana once, when I was about fifteen, as he was waiting to tee-off on the 9th at the Milwaukee Open.

Dude loved bananas.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: