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Ha ha, your editor promised herself to ignore whatever poop that jaundiced lizard Donald Trump decided to squeeze out of his mouth today (Allah love Kaia, she has braved the cesspool). We would just like to share this bit of heartening mid-January poll fun from the Pew Research Center that Political Wire noted on the occasion of Donald Trump’s pointless endorsement of the importance of himself endorsing Mitt Romney:

An endorsement by Donald Trump would draw a mixed reaction among Republican and Republican-leaning voters: 20% say they would be less likely to support a candidate backed by Trump, 13% more likely and 64% say it would make no difference.

Among all voters, however, more than three times as many would view a Trump endorsement negatively than positively (28% vs. 8%). That is little changed from 2007.

[Pew Research/ Political Wire]

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  • Barb

    Yep, because they both like to fire people.

  • SorosBot

    But who does his hairpiece support?

    • Barb

      His hairpiece supports his twin brother, Punxsutawney Phil.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      More to the point, what supports his hairpiece and has the EPA sufficiently investigated that substance?

      • smokefilledroommate

        Apparently it's an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

    • PsycWench

      Newt, because Newt is the candidate most shaped like the onion loaf that inspired Trump's hairstyle.

    • MinAgain

      A factory full of Chinese toupee workers.

  • Data Exactly

    So, do the anti-Trump 20 percent go to Gingrich, Santorum, or Paul?

    • chicken_thief

      The anti-Trump 20% appear to be sane, so I would guess Obama.

  • MissTaken

    I'm still waiting to hear about those interesting things his people were discovering in Hawaii. Still waiting.

    • nounverb911

      Pig roasts and the cast of "Lost"?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      The fun of having sex on the beach under the moon?

    • SorosBot

      The cursed tiki that brought bad luck to the Brady kids during their vacation?

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      That some bouffant fool would pay them to drink mai tais and laugh at him?

      • paris biltong

        "Bouffant fool". Cool.

    • BearNoLike

      Those little bananas are pretty interesting/chalky.

    • smokefilledroommate

      Ask Geraldo. I'm sure it's similar.

  • friendlyskies

    Donald Trump wishes he were the Republican Oprah. But he couldn't even get us to call him by his first name. Sad, really.

  • nounverb911

    Casinos are people too, my friends.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Donald Trump in the Cooler 2… the only thing that goes down is Romney's numbers (not William H Macy on Maria Bello.)

    • Biff

      Thought he was doing Felicity Huffman?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    All the pieces are falling into place.

  • Callyson

    If/when Mittens loses in November, he will fire Donald Trump. Both of them will enjoy it.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Mr. and Mrs. Roboto sure looked uncomfortable amidst the gilded Trump fanfare. They both are itching to fire each other.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    That survey is pure BS. I think most people, when they are deciding who they want for President, ask themselves, who does a Publicity Whore Conservative Millionaire support.

  • noodlesalad

    One person stars in an ongoing reality show where people do anything and say anything to get a job they probably don't even want and definitely aren't qualified for, and the other is Donald Trump.

  • bumfug

    A whopping 62% said if they want the opinion of a troll they'll go under the bridge and ask one. #BillyGoatsGruff

  • chascates

    But if you're hoping for appointment as Secretary of Garish Hotels and Casinos . . .

  • FakaktaSouth

    The Romney wife, Anne? Is that right? Everytime I see the video of this endorsement, she has this look on her face like the Donald's scent is burning her eyes. I bet that lady is a ton of fun at parties.

    • starfanglednut

      Only after about 12 boilermakers and three games of strip poker.

    • LetUsBray

      Let's be fair here: The fumes from the spray that holds The Donald's physics-defying comb-over in place probably are burning her eyes.

  • Bezoar

    What's really weird is how happy he is about it. Being endorsed by Donald Trump; how could that be a good thing? He actually sounds giddy about it.

  • ttommyunger

    Not mentioned is the fact that 100% of those taking the time to talk to pollsters are fucking morons.

  • Biff

    Trump isn't quite as beloved in Vegas as you might think, having left so many people hanging out to dry on that tower thingie which bears his name.

  • RadioFetusEater

    Good, this should negate the "Obama has played 60 rounds of golf while in office" petty attack by Innanity,, amirite? hahahaha *smacks head*

  • paris biltong

    The candidates themselves are so bad their only hope of looking a little less so is to be endorsed by even more unattractive characters (Palin, Cain, Trump, etc.), so the race is now on to secure the support of the most repulsive fellow Republicans (Jim Gibson, John Ensign, are you listening?).

  • Numbat_Dundee

    I lost Nevada once. Then I found it under one of the cushions in my sofa. It was sort of furry and tacky, which is how I recognised it – that and the fragments of Trump's hair sticking to it. Nevada is his kind of place. He is Nevada to a tee and Mittens is Mormon which sorts of makes him next door to Nevada. So my money is on them to win. Not that I care to much at this stage who wins the nomination to be the outragously obvious murdering brown people candidate in the Presidential election (as opposed to murdering brown people whilst being black and photogenic).

    • Biff

      Genoa Nevada is the oldest settlement in the state, founded by Mormon settlers before good ol' Brigham called everyone back to SLC to fight some silly war. Some told him to fuck off, and stayed in Nevada. Of course this used to be known as Utah Territory, so I guess it's kinda like those Messicans trying to take back California.

  • DahBoner

    In Nevada, that thing on Trump's head can free-range, no fences…

  • SoBeach

    I'm just happy to see the words "Trump" and "republican" together in the news.

  • actor212

    Donald Trump: "OK, so this is da BIGGEST news EVAR! You know da Trump brand only serves up the FOINEST endorsements and so dis year, I've decided to give my HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE endorsement to Newt…wait! Where ya goin'?????

    OK, so then to *Mitt Romney*!"

  • BornInATrailer

    This will certainly help Mitt connect with the poors. Might as well have the zombie of Leona Helmsley endorse him.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Let's hope Donald decides it would be a good idea to endorse the goopers in every single contested Senate race.

  • Nostrildamus

    I congratulate the universe on finally finding a good use for Donald Trump.

  • BZ1

    Who did the raccoon on the Donald's head, endorse?

  • chicken_thief

    I, too, am waiting with bated breath to hear the endorsement of media whores with bad hair, so you can imagine my disappointment when this article wasn't about Lou Sarah.

  • pinkocommi

    Well, there's the Trump casino, Trump hotel, Trump Tower, and now – finally, the Trump candidate.

  • MinAgain

    Who are the hairspray-addled people who make up the 13%?

  • mrblifil

    Meh. Wake me when La Donald agrees to wear a pink toup "for the cure."

  • sbj1964

    The Don endorsing Mitt? The the Kiss of death!And to think Mitt could have had a chance.Well played Trump!

  • Bowmanave

    One might ask if the Donald's endorsement suppressed turn out in Nevada. Rather markedly less than in 2008.

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