not by the hair on newt's chinny chin chin

Today’s Love Fest: Sharron Angle For Santorum, Trump For Romney

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They bluster on.O blessed day! Breathing desert mirage Sharron Angle has emerged from her candle-lit study, after a meticulous examination of the remaining combatants for head GOP clown, to anoint the weirdest available clown of them all, Rick Santorum! She shuffled her thoughts about, then stapled them together and literally read them aloud, right there on Fox — just like she imagines the real politicians do! Politico is delicately referring to her endorsement as a “shot in the arm” for the Santorum campaign. Which, HELLO FRIEND, that’s not how Earth works!!! You cannot re-animate the corpse of a chupacabra. Like Santorum’s campaign, it doesn’t really exist, it cannot die, and it will never gallop triumphantly off into the sunset. Just not happening. It will haunt the landscape forever, unseen and yet everywhere.

Since we are obligated to speak ill of the Newt so long as his DVD/merch tour continues, we were all ready to cover the rumors swirling around this morning, that Donald Trump was on the cusp of endorsing his fellow pustule Gingrich in Las Vegas. You cannot begin to imagine our excitement at the prospect of the three most famous heads of fleshy hair in all of America — Callista, Born As A Helmet; Newt With Face Of Rising Dough; and Donald Of The 3D-Printed Combover — together on one stage, and melting under the Nevada sun. But, oh bully for him, Trump had to ruin everything by picking Mittens instead:

Donald Trump endorsed GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney in the lobby of the Las Vegas hotel that bears the Trump name.

[…]

Mr. Romney, having a good time, called the endorsement “a delight.” “There are some things that you just can’t imagine happening in your life. This is one of them,” he said.

True, it’s not too hard to believe Mittens never imagined getting propositioned like a down-on-her-luck hooker in the lobby of a Vegas hotel — and then saying, “Yes.” [Politico/WSJ]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb

    Romney:
    “There are some things that you just can’t imagine happening in your life. This is one of them,” he said.

    Mitt-Wit, the other one would be your moving into the White House.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      I'm not concerned about Mittens moving into the White House.

    • arihaya

      I wonder why Mitt doesn't just built replica of White House with his gajillions of money?

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        He's waiting until after his presidential run, then he'll be sending buses down to his local Home Depot in order to pick up enough messicans.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          He's running for Awfuz, for Pete's sake!

          • Biff

            You been sleeping all day, or whut? Hope you're OK…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Thanks for checking, sweetie. I've been OK, just trying to deal with damage to the rotator cuff (using a crutch and a cane will do that). Makes it painful to use te computer.

          • Biff

            OK, I understand that mess. 3 years ago I had one of mine repaired, along with the bicep tendon. Took 2 1/2 years to get over it! Left arm/shoulder, too bad I'm left-handed.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, gee, that sounds like fun. Hopefully this fecking thing will respond to exercise and heat/cold. Thanks, sweetie. (Hugs the Biff)

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            Just get well soon, you snarky fuck.

    • C_R_Eature

      One of the things that I can't imagine is having Gordon Gekko run for President of the United States, pick up the endorsement of Snidely Whiplash and some people thinking it's a good idea.
      All this not 5 years out from a cataclysmic worldwide economic collapse brought about by the very same policies that the aforementioned Gekko would happily pursue, should America be so unfortunate as to elect him.

    • Nostrildamus

      Mitt wouldn't need to move in in any case. He could just plug in to an exterior outlet.

    • SpiderCrab

      Mitt-Wit? Oooh, I like that!

  • Harry_S_Truman

    Who's fired more people; Trump or Romney?

    • johnnymeatworth

      All of them, Katie.

    • arihaya

      let's ask Gary Busey about that

    • Callyson

      If we're going with "corporations are people," my money is on Mittens, in a competitive race…

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Trump was all about firing both China and OPEC at one point. Even Mittens isn't stupid enough to suggest that. Santorum might be, but then he'd actually have to know what OPEC was.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Santorum thinks it's part of a sentence. That ends with an "er."

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          and there was a crisis about oily peckers in the 70s. yeah, I can see his tiny mind recoiling in horror at the thought.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            You have no idea how that man *longs* for an oily pecker. *Longs,* I tellsya.

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            He'd squeal and cry and beg for it to end, but there's no way he'd say the safe word.

            The safe word is "norquist".

    • Beowoof

      Romney, Trump is a half-wit, oft bankrupted reality tv sort of celebrity with no real business accumen. Romney on the other hand is that slick motherfucker that you just know is evil.

    • slamtundra

      But who enjoyed it more?

    • chicken_thief

      My money is on Rmoney. Except for his stupid teevee show, The Combover usually let's the bankruptcy court handle those details.

  • privatejoker77

    Oh, Trump, you so crazy!

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Needs moar 2nd Amendment Solutions.

    • nounverb911

      And surveyors marks too, also.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I really expected that endorsement to be more luxurious.

    • http://wonkette.com BelleSC

      Hyoooge!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Not Bush-y enough?

    • Beowoof

      Shit Romney didn't even get to eat pizza with a fork.

  • BklynIlluminati

    I am sure Trump not only endorsed Mittens but traded helmet hair secrets with him. The secret AQUANET

    • Beowoof

      I was thinking shellac.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Outgoing-governor Walker recommends a Tonette.

  • memzilla

    "Money Endorses Money; Crazy Endorses Crazy."

    It couldn't work out any other way.

    The stars are in their proper alignment… for another four years of Sheriff Near (FSM willing).

    • HarryButtle

      Maybe when he doesn't have reelection to worry about, he'll put on Sheriff Bart's big boy pants and hit some fuckin rednecks in the head with a shovel…NAH! But it was fun to imagine it, anyway.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    It's not like either of them are intelligent or wise. I'd be shocked if they picked wisely.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      And yet, it takes a modicum of intelligence to get *accepted* to Hahvahd, as Mittens was. WTF happened to him, I wonder.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        I think of rightwing "intelligence" as a kind of heat seeking, reptilian cunning, rather than a trait marked by curiosity, open mindedness, and self examination. Plus, he probably just bought his way in.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Sigh.

      • SorosBot

        To get accepted at Harvard, it takes a modicum of intelligence, or a really rich and connected daddy; guess which path both Mittens and W took.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          And sigh again.

  • Lucidamente1

    Well, Trump has had more wives than Miles Park Romney.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Tied with Newt, though, right?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Oh, how I'd love to see him tied with Newt — TO A FUCKING ROCKET, and STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!

  • CivicHoliday

    The combined quantity of hair spray required to maintain just their two car salesman up-dos will release enough CFCs to keep the ozone hole open permanently.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I think Trump is after Mitt's hair. It all makes sense now.

    • nounverb911

      Hair today, gone tomorrow?

    • Nostrildamus

      For God's sake, don't look at the portrait in Mitt's attic!

      • tealsheart

        …LOL…

        Is that the same as his quiet room?

  • OneYieldRegular

    "You cannot re-animate the corpse of a chupacabra."

    Oh, come on – did you people never watch "Mystery Science Theater 3000"?

    • ttommyunger

      I did, and I would again, gladly.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Watching it right now!

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      "Trumpy, you can do magic things!"

      "It's called evil, kid"

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Gawd, you're on a roll tonight! I'm still laughing about "norquist."

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          That was a real MST3K quote!! I can't take credit.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Wut's this "you peepul" shit?

    • Ohforcripessake

      In the not too distant future?

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      ♪ ♫ ♬ Don't crap in your hand, crap in your poopy suit!
      You'll feel relief filling your briefs
      Filling your pants over France in your poopy suit!
      Flying high, in the poo, free to do Number 2
      poo-poopy-de dooo!!!!!
      ♪ ♫ ♬

      The Starfighters

    • lulzmonger

      … or see video "highlights" of last year's CPAC convention?

  • nounverb911

    Who did Trump's hair endorse?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Alf

      • Harry_S_Truman

        Landon?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Hilter?

      • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        I don't like the sound of these 'ere "boncentration bamps."

    • bagofmice

      All of them, verby.

    • SorosBot

      Hey you stole that from me on the Wonkwire item; no fair!

    • Beowoof

      The Hair Club.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Thinking fondly of it's homeland, Trump's hair endorsed Trump's ass.

    • Nostrildamus

      Romney. Trump's hair is the brains of the outfit and it admires the way Mittens goes which ever way the wind blows.

      • chicken_thief

        And when it doesn't…

  • nounverb911

    Did Angle donate all of her medical chickens to santorum too? Oops, sorry that was Sue Lowdon. Same state different crazy.

    • Fare la Volpe

      It's amazing how ubiquitous it is down there, isn't it?

      I think it's the (lack of) water.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Mass apoptosis of brain cells due to dehydration? Could be, could be.

        • Biff

          Hey! I'm walkin' around down here too, ya know!

      • Negropolis

        Lake Mead is, indeed, running pretty low these days, and so is Vegas.

  • orygoon

    "Sharron Angle" Jeez, Rick Santorum just can not catch a break, can he?

    • hollywooddood

      He's probably thinking about buttsecks too much to care.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    She supports Santorum? That's one obtuse Angle, all right.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      That is normal to reality.

    • SorosBot

      Well with all those wrinkles it's certainly not acute Angle.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Not cute enough, anyway.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Sauron Angel cares not for your mockery, Hellbender!

    • Nostrildamus

      Secant destroy!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "She shuffled her thoughts about, then stapled them together and literally read them aloud, right there on Fox — just like she imagines the real politicians do! "

    Teleprompter libel!!!

  • MissTaken

    Las Vegas hotel that bears the Trump name

    Notice the lack of the word CASINO when describing the Trump Hotel in Vegas? Yes, you definitely want the endorsement of a hairball that can't manage to open a fucking casino in Nevada. Well played, Mittens.

    • Crank_Tango

      Fail libel!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      Mittens continues trying to fill an inside straight.

    • Beowoof

      Ah yes, it was also a condo development, the Los Angles Times said this about it:

      "The much-ballyhooed project opened in 2008 during the economic meltdown, and today sits amid a collection of vacant lots and silent cranes. Some might call it a metaphor." The Trump Mystique is alive, he is doing for Vegas what he did for Atlantic City.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Well, this makes perfect sense. One job killer endorsing another job killer.

    • tealsheart

      PLUS: Vegas hair is always better! Donald didn't have a chance

  • Troglodeity

    I'll see your Adelson and raise you a Trump.

    • chascates

      That casino magnates are so heavily invested in this contest proves what a crap shoot democracy really is.

  • Lucidamente1

    This will go down well with the blacks.

  • anniegetyerfun

    I'm struggling a bit here to figure out who I hate more: Newt or Donald. I guess I would find Newt to be the more intelligent of the two, given that Donald Trump has the cognitive abilities of wet cement, but does that mean that I hate Newt less than Donald?

    • savethispatient

      You can't blame an idiot for being an idiot. Newt consciously says things to annoy you, for the very reason of annoying you, so you should hate him more.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Newt's voice = also so terrible. Then again, better hair.

        • savethispatient

          I have more respect for Newt, despite the fact his point of view is usually terrible. Apart from moon-bases. Moon bases are awesome.

        • Beowoof

          Oh yeah, the hair thing, an old TV commercial from New York City stations we used to get on cable plays in my mind whenever I see Donald, " The Bald Look, The Masterline Look" I think they're bankrupt so it also has that Trump relate.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      I think it's entirely consistent to hate both equally, even if it's for different reasons. Newt and Donald both have loathsomeness that goes to 11.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Such a liberal. "Yeah, you can hate them BOTH." Where's the competition, commie?

        • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Not at all–like a true American Exceptionalist, I demand the God-given right to hate as fully and freely as I want to. Maybe in Europe they make people choose from a limited number of hatred options, but not here!

          ♪ ♫ ♬ And I'm proud to hate an American…♪ ♫ ♬

    • emmelemm

      Well, Newt has more potential to actually affect my life, so I'm going with Newt.

    • gingerland62

      I think of Trump as a rich Joe the Plumber and Newt as a less stupid Sarah Palin– if that helps.

  • arihaya

    Romney might as well seeking endorsement from Jerry Sandusky

    • SorosBot

      Now I think Sandusky would endorse Santorum in return for the award Rick gave him for his work with children a few years back:
      http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/big_tent/13354

      • Generation[redacted]

        Award? I didn't even know it was a competitive sport!

      • Beowoof

        I didn't know there was an award for Santourm production. Wow, the things I learn on Wonkette.

  • sharethegrief

    Many attributes were bestowed on Mitt by Trump but the most important one wasn't mentioned…..Mitt Romney is white.

    • Fare la Volpe

      They all are, really.

      Really, really white.

    • tealsheart

      YES, BUT Newt will do more for his blacks than Mittens will ever do for his blacks (if he had any)

      • sharethegrief

        Mitt hires the browns to manicure his 20 lawns.

  • deelzebub

    That blingee was clearly intended for a jewelry debt piglet post.

    • tealsheart

      He's mad: lost the endorsement and his diamonds.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Isn't it more the hair on Newt's Chinny Chin Chin Chin Chin Chin Chin?

  • Crank_Tango

    Didn't Tchrump quit being a republican last month? Or did I fever dream that…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      It might have seemed like an illness, but it was reality.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Is Mitt's description of a Trump endorsement as "delightful" sort of like when people from the South say "Oh, bless your heart"?

    • Loaded_Pants

      Yes it is.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Or when someone from Pittsburgh says, "Isn't that inneresting."

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Did Trump demand to see Romney's birf certificate before opening his pizza hole today?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Rich, white people are automatically automatically assumed to be legit American citizens.

      • chicken_thief

        Even when their dad's are Messicuns.

  • coolhandnuke

    The F List endorsements will not be complete until the Octomom sides with Newt.

    • Nothingisamiss

      I was trying to come up with a clever less-than-Octomom F-list celebrity reply, but I think you've gotten to the very bottom mold of the barrel.

      • Loaded_Pants

        I'm waiting for the "Mob Wives" endorsements.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          I won't vote until I hear from the Cajun Pawn Stars and that lovely "family" from Operation Repo.

        • Negropolis

          Drita would totally endorse Newt, 'cause like Newt, she ain't afraid to cut a bitch.

          Me, though? I'm waiting for the vaunted Hillbilly Hand Fishin' endorsement.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Well, this certainly is an Aqua-Net moment, isn't it?

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      I dunno, any mention of these idiots is more of a Maalox Moment.

  • JackObin

    What is an asshole to do but endorse another asshole? But seriously Mitt, I think The Donald drinks alcohol. Doesn't that make him the devil?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He wears the wrong kind of underwear, too. But PLEASE, I don't want to know what The Donald has on underneath that stuffed shirt.

    • tealsheart

      its OK, once his hair kills him, we morans will convert him, like we did Jesus.

      When will this chit end?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Looks like Newt will be playing no-Trump. And he has already been finessed in Virginia and Missouri, the crafty chubby weasel.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      A Bridge Too Far

  • SorosBot

    How, exactly, is an endorsement from a total failure a "shot in the arm"? Although I want to thank Angle for turning a nearly sure GOP pickup in the Senate to a Democratic retention by a fairly large margin.

    • Generation[redacted]

      It's a shot in the arm, from a howitzer.

  • Callyson

    rumors swirling around this morning, that Donald Trump was on the cusp of endorsing his fellow pustule Gingrich
    What, The Donald choosing the less wealthy candidate? Never!

  • Local_Mojo

    Donald endorsed Willard? Heck, that's good enough for me!

  • Bluestatelibel

    Well, Mittens and Donald both have a lot of experience in bankrupting companies, so there's that. They'll make a lovely couple.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    Is there any truth to the rumor that Trump is a geriatric version of Milo Minderbinder?

    • ttommyunger

      Milo was charming and not an unpleasant looking fellow, so-no.

      • Walkinwiddaking

        Oh yes, all aspects of Milo were quite charming. I know what you're getting at but…

        • ttommyunger

          Most con-men are. Republican operatives are the exceptions.

  • bumfug

    Gallup's new poll of everyone on earth reveals that not one fuck was given about who Sharron Angle or Donald Trump endorse.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Jennifer Rubin of the WaPoop was so angry this morning when she announced that Trump was endorsing Pig Newton.

    Now that he's gone for her man Rmoney, she's singing a different tune.
    ~

    • fuflans

      who?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He might be her man, but she's going to have to get in line behind CNN'S Erin "Citicorp" Burnett.

    • lulzmonger

      "We have always been at war with Newtonia!"

  • Guppy

    A shot surveying mark in the arm from Angle has to be an improvement over a shot in the ass from Santorum.

    • bagofmice

      You may have a directionality issue there. Depending on the timing.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      WIth Angle, it will be over quickly and followed up with a refreshing glass of lemonade.

  • Rotundo_

    Having "The Donald" on board sure cements that average middle class guy who is unemployed image of Mittens in my mind. Pity that Jim Backus is dead or they could have Thurston Howell endorse him too.

    • Biff

      Or Mr. Magoo.

  • Harry_S_Truman

    I'm pretty sure this will bring Romney exactly one more vote in New York, a state that is unreachable to Republicans.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Now there's a guy who is truly not concerned about the poor.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      But he's always had a great relationship with the blahs, or so he said.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      "What are 'the poor'? Surely, if there were any uptown I would know about it."

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Well, this should solidify Romney's hold on Self-Absorb Conservative Millionaires.

  • C_R_Eature

    I'd like to say that Chimpanzees pick better leaders and make more thoughtful intra-Community alliances, but the comparison would be a grave insult to the Chimpanzees.

    I'll bet, though that the surviving Chimps are breathing a sigh of relief, realizing that their ancestors really did choose the right Evolutionary Branch to climb.

  • JackDempsey1

    The rotating diamond in the Blingee should really be reserved for a Newt-related post. Though I suppose it's quite difficult to animate a GIF file for a fleet of Brink's trucks.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Look at it this way, Romney bankrupt companies for his profit, and Trump bankrupt companies. They have so much in common!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    "A shot in the arm." Yeah, a syringe full of black tar heroin.

    • Barrelhse

      I was thinking penicillin.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Newt and Trump together on one stage would be too much weird, even for Las Vegas. Making nice with Mittens can be helpful when the Donald needs another "bankruptcy" bailout.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Meme captioning… I'm sure someone can do better than I did. But it has potential?

    • Angry_Marmot

      Not so much Whigs as a pack of vile, ranting Tory dogs.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        I just checked "quckmeme" and someone DID re-caption. Fun!

  • SorosBot

    If we care about the endorsements of vapid reality TV hosts, then I want to know who Paula Abdul supports.

    • Beowoof

      Really, Paula, I would argue Matt Lauer is more vapid. His update on Demi Moore this morning almost made me puke.

    • Negropolis

      She endorses all of them, Katie. Really, she always calls everyone a winner, and she thinks you're Katie Couric, because she's so high on painkillers.

    • tealsheart

      Not qualified, she was fired this week.
      Simon Cowell used his Donald voice, "You're Fired",

  • Data Exactly

    Forget politics – let's get our belongings in order and stop the Chupacabra, which is 'unseen and yet everywhere'!

  • philpjfry

    why do people pay attention to these walking pussbags

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Wow, women were already cRAyZaY for Mitt. With the Trump endorsement they'll be throwing panties soaked in squirt juice, propelled over great distance with little more than the cunning use of kegel muscles.

    • James Michael Curley

      Are those the muscles one develops working as a lighting technician?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Depends on what you're lighting.

      • tealsheart

        Yeah, but only when screwing

  • chascates

    So what is Ron Paul, chopped liver?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Yes. Yes he is.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Pickled souse, I believe.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Ronnie RayGun’s endorsement has hit a snag this year. He’s holding out for someone to save the GOP and so far he’s disappointed. I have it on good authority he’s liking Obama more than those bozos.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Obama is far more like Reagan than any of these godawful fuckwits, it's just that the electorate is too fucking stupid to see that.

      edit: and that's not a good thing about Obama. I'd still vote for him though.

      • WhatTheHeck

        ditto

  • chascates

    I predict that in eight years the GOP nominee will be decided via a reality show. Conducted not on an island but in the Ronald Reagan Library.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      The celebrity judges will be Beyonce, Grover Norquist and James O'Keefe.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        In eight years Beyonce's baby will be at the same intellectual level as the average conservative, so let's go with Ivy Blue.

      • tealsheart

        That woman is going NOWHERES near a bookStore, much less the RR Library.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          Perfect judge for a GOP candidate then, amirite?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      How is that different than the public defecation we have witnessed this Primary Season?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        MOAR actual bleeding?

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Even greater ratings? Snack food purchases at Super Bowl levels? Moderators from the MMA?

      • Angry_Marmot

        They paint the candidates' names on the field, and wherever the electorate craps, that's the nominee.

  • spends2much

    To help out undecided GOPers:
    Do you like conspiracy theories and Jesus (Fundamentalist Strength)? Sharron and Rick have the answers!
    Do you like hairspray and white men (one of whom pretends to be working class, but has hundreds of millions of dollars, the other pretends to be Midas, but they know his name down at Bankruptcy Court)? The Mittald, all the way.

  • SilverTsunami

    A Sharon Angle endorsement is a shot in the arm — yes, like that shot of drain cleaner in the arm that Sara Conner threatened the smug shrink with in Terminator 2. Remember?

  • ttommyunger

    These two endorsements carry at least as much weight as Sheriff Joe R. Piehole's or Albert Yawkey, for that matter.

  • vtxmcrider

    Sharron Angle's endorsement of Santorum is a shot in the arm all right … like the kind Rick Perry gives in Texas.

  • shrillharpy

    OT, but is anyone else annoyed that Romney-bot is now getting Secret Service protection. Courtesy of us.

    • Negropolis

      Herman Cain was, too, before he dropped out. It's something that's been going on for some time, now.

      • SorosBot

        Yeah; it started after Robert Kennedy's assassination. It does make sense in light of past events.

        • shrillharpy

          Yeah, you're right. It does make sense. But it frosts my ass that the taxpayers have to foot the bill to protect these guys when not one of them has shown any compunction to protect anything but their bottom line. Or their egos.

    • C_R_Eature

      I'm Pissed Off that Cheney's still got SS protection.

      I think he'd be far safer in the Hague. We wouldn't have to foot the bill, either.

      • Negropolis

        You know who else got SS protection?

        This is why I never abbreviate their name. lol

        • C_R_Eature

          I see that you saw what I did there.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I'm pissed off that he's now trained to say "Democrat Party." Something he never did before and sometimes he still stumbles over the name, making sure he gets it "right." Seriously, I'd love to know which one of his donors demanded that.

  • Negropolis

    Yep, this conceit is definitely a George Soros-sponsored piece of perfomance art. Angle and Trump on the same day? Yep.

    We're running out of sharks to jump.

    BTW, Angle's endorsement was a "shot in the arm"…with a shotgun, of course.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Shark jumping? Paddling amongst rays, I say.

  • DocChaos

    Trump was never going to endorse Gingrich – I don't think the bloated huckster really gives a shit who's President – he just wants to back the obvious nominee so he can take credit for putting him over. Not that anyone will really believe it, but they'll surely give him the airtime to proclaim it.

    If Mitt is obviously losing by October, look for Trump to start saying nice things about Obama again.

    • shrillharpy

      Yeah, but didn't the Hairball and doughy smudge sack strike up a plan to teach poor kids how to be janitors? What's gonna happen to those children now? Why is no one thinking of the children?!?

  • mavenmaven

    Trump is people too!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Really?

  • HarryButtle

    Sharon Angle's still alive?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Mitt, you grinning, soulless phony, why didn't you have the guts to tell Trump to stuff his endorsement? Is this some kind of "Dancing With The Proles" for you, this campaign? Willl you be scooping up the coveted Drew Peterson endorsement tomorrow? Joseph H. Smith in a jumpsuit!!

  • scarface99

    strap romney to the roof of his limo…and after a high speed ride on the freeway hose him down at a truck stop

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    A commentator on CNN reminisced whimsically, "we used to joke about how surprising it was that he was a Mormon but acted like he'd sell his kids if he had the chance..".

  • owhatever

    Comb over to the dark side.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I lol'd.

      • SudsMcKenzie

        me too.

  • Chichikovovich

    She shuffled her thoughts about, then stapled them together and literally read them aloud, right there on Fox

    No doubt the sheets contained a few "Obama needs the teleprompter" jokes.

  • Loaded_Pants

    This endorsement clearly Trumps Kelly Clarkson's endorsement of Ron Paul.

  • neiltheblaze

    Newt must feel really jilted. Maybe there's still hope he'll get the much coveted Ted Nugent endorsement.

    • tealsheart

      Yeah seems all the red'publicans, will vote for the one normally hated, in order to remove YKW from the WH. Don't be suprised when they fund a SparkingNewWhiteHouse.

  • Nostrildamus

    Angle is one of the most stable politicians around. Combinatorically stable, that is, in that any permutation of her words sounds about the same.

  • http://wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    I thought Mormons were programmed to explode the second they set foot in Vegas?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Meet Mittens 4.0. He can now even accept a porno pamphlet without shorting out.

  • barto

    Wait, Sharron can read?

  • barto

    Your move, Palin.

    (Oh God I'm so sorry I said that…)

  • chicken_thief

    Angle's endorsement will surely help Sant rum with the *Asian* vote.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Shit–Democrats are aborting black babies? Well, hell. I'm white and so is my husband, the rat bastard who wasn't responsible for contraception because he refused to get his nuts operated on. Now that I'm too old to have another abortion, (and even if I were, it wouldn't matter because I had the old man neutered) I find it was supposed to a black baby. My bad.

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    Chupacabra libel!

  • MRjonz

    Sharron Angle endorsed Santorum because both hold the opinion that “Life Begins at Ejaculation.”

  • lulzmonger

    Romney has shrewdly copped a big slice of that vital "Aspiring Cretinous Lowlife" demographic away from Gingrich, right after making him eat Loser Pie in Flo'da. It's becoming more & more easy to see who's made campaigning for POTUS into a fucking full-time lifestyle-choice & who hasn't in this circus.

    Ahh, still, I think Newticles' endorsement from Randy Duke Cunningham trumps Trump pimping for Willard … at least until someone finally indicts the OTHER vile corpulent oleaginous oxygen-thieving noise-polluting epic fucking waste of protein.

  • PhilippePetain

    "You cannot re-animate the corpse of a chupacabra. Like Santorum’s campaign, it doesn’t really exist, it cannot die, and it will never gallop triumphantly off into the sunset. Just not happening. It will haunt the landscape forever, unseen and yet everywhere."

    Kaia Mursi, please be mine this Valentine's day.