don't you see

Alabama Senator: It’s Against Bible To Pay Teachers Too Much

Jesus worked for less than minimum wage, why can't other teachers?

Why aren’t teachers allowed to earn more money according to Alabama state Senator/ evil leprechaun “Shadrack McGill?” Uh, because it is against the Bible to trick people who are not supposed to be teachers according to God’s will into wanting to be teachers just for the sweet, sweet salary. “It’s a Biblical principle. If you double a teacher’s pay scale, you’ll attract people who aren’t called to teach,” McGill argues alarmingly earnestly for an adult human. That’s cool, so teachers should all think of themselves as wise, poor socialists doing the Lord’s work, like Jesus?

Ha ha shouldn’t it actually be against the Bible for Alabama Republicans to talk about education?

“To go in and raise someone’s child for eight hours a day, or many people’s children for eight hours a day, requires a calling. It better be a calling in your life. I know I wouldn’t want to do it, OK?

“And these teachers that are called to teach, regardless of the pay scale, they would teach. It’s just in them to do. It’s the ability that God give ‘em. And there are also some teachers, it wouldn’t matter how much you would pay them, they would still perform to the same capacity.

“If you don’t keep that in balance, you’re going to attract people who are not called, who don’t need to be teaching our children. So, everything has a balance.”

Because, capitalism has no effect on teachers! No wonder the kids are learning nothing but COMMUNISM in school these days.

And then McGill defended raising legislators’ salaries on the basis that it helps prevent corruption among elected officials: “[The lawmaker] needs to make enough that he can say no, in regards to temptation.” Because lawmakers, on the other hand, are not doing the Lord’s work, no matter what Republicans say. [Times-Journal via ThinkProgress]

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425 comments

    1. MerryB1

      Senator McGill was elected to the Alabama Senate on November 2, 2010.

      He was born November 6, 1975, in Jackson County.
      From the Good Senator's WebPage:

      Senator McGill graduated from Paint Rock Valley High School, and attended North Alabama Community College. He is the owner of Hydraulic Seals and Service in Scottsboro. Senator McGill is a Christian, and his interests include spending time with his family.

      I tried to include a picture, but my computer refused to copy it. But rest assured when I tell you that he is clearly a member of the National Incest Society, Sand Mountain Chapter.

  1. memzilla

    Workgroup: KOCHBROS-AL
    File Name: GOP1pct.docx
    Title: Universal Cheat The Worker Of Your Choice Template (short form)
    Directions: insert profession in blank fields (preferably union)

    “And these ________s that are called to _______, regardless of the pay scale, they would _________. It’s just in them to do. It’s the ability that God give ‘em. And there are also some ________s, it wouldn’t matter how much you would pay them, they would still perform to the same capacity."

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      What I want to know is how you read the post, came up with and then formatted all that, and still managed to be the second poster on the thread.
      *looks at memz with goateye*

      1. bagofmice

        When formatting a .docx format, there is no reason to:

        Latest releaseISO/IEC 29500:2008 / November 17, 2008; 3 years ago
        Be afraid of XML. Seriously. 2012 bitchez.

      1. tessiee

        All the verb answers and half of the noun answers are "fart". The remaining half of the noun answers are "butt".

    2. Crowe2011

      Am I wrong but… aren't the only professions the gospels discuss in depth money lending and prostitution? Are these Senators scrimping on their whores because being a street walker is a calling so sayeth the Lord?

    1. DahBoner

      The South was built on FREE LABOR, so they obviously loved the South so much, they were willing to work for nothing…..

    2. tessiee

      Good point.
      Not only are ignorance and superstition morally superior to education, but teachers spend all day with children, and children don't have any money, so what good are they?

      1. chicken_thief

        Teachers should be training the teen janitors and inspecting their work, not fucking around with maths and shit.

    3. nonbeliever7

      Shit, why pay them at all?

      I heard there was a safety net or something for them poors, so basically I don't care.

      1. tessiee

        Notice how McDicker already pre-empted that? He's one of the three stupidest men on the planet Earth, but yet he knows enough to lock up his wallet before starting the discussion about pay cuts.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      But he doesn't give us any clue as to how much you should bribe your kid's teacher to give the kid an A.

    1. PubOption

      I believe there is one fundamentalist sect that won't vote in elections, because there is mention of voting in the bible. Perhaps Shadrack should suggest that his constituents follow that advice.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Good point, good point. We'll try it again. How about:

        Fuckwittedness, Fraudulence, Flatulence, Flabbiness, and Foxy Female Football Fans Frantically Fucking Fullbacks Flunking Physics?

        1. flamingpdog

          Not just Fizzix, but FineArts. Or as my Fine Arts major roommate in college called it, Ein Farts.

        2. Loaded_Pants

          You have just described my HS. All F's all around.
          Thrown in Failed Frottage & there you have my teenaged sex life.

      1. Spurning Beer

        "I tell you what, you take Tae Kwon Do and git yer black belt, and your fists is gonna be as hard as rocks. Them Kung Fu pussies, though, they all got sophists."

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Nope. Not taking him. That's Texas and you can't do that to me, all southerners do not look alike. I am shit kicking, sex loving and surely not as stupid as you think.

        1. Chichikovovich

          not as stupid as you think.

          Geez, I've already formed a high opinion of your smartiosity from your posts. If you're even smarter than that you must be some kind of a sooper genius like Marie Curie or Newt Gingrich.

          Time for an Alabama joke – straight from an Alabaman:
          An Auburn student [If you're an Auburn grad, make this about a student at the University of Saban at Sabanloosa] was chatting up a pretty girl at a party, and was getting a frosty reception. "Whar duz you go to school?" he asked. She replied, curtly: "Yale". So he continued: WHAR DUZ YOU GO TO SCHOOL

          1. Chichikovovich

            Don't mention it. Wife Chichikovna (Ivy League med school grad, Med School professor, sarcastic wit, nasty right hook) grew up in Alabama, so I've learned not to stereotype.—

          2. Chichikovovich

            I'd never seen the show, so I looked up some pictures. And, yeah, um – you bet – ben oui, sure. They could be twins.—

          3. tessiee

            I had a Hispanic co-worker who actually went to Yale, and of course, pronounced it "Jail". Lulz ensued (but in a nice way, because everyone liked her).

  2. Sparky MacGyver

    Every time I think these Republican shit-nuggets can't say anything dumber and more self-serving, I'm sadly mistaken. I think I need a drink or twelve.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      If we make cheap booze, anyone will drink. If booze is more expensive, only those that are called to drink will imbibe.

      1. flamingpdog

        I'm called to drink, but still have to put in another hour at the salt mine before I can head out. Damn!

      2. sewollef

        No, no…. you mean: "If we make booze cheap…" See, syntax is everything my friend.

        And I'm telling ya, I ain't drinking cheap booze…. that stuff only gives you a worse headache you had before you needed the drink because of your headache in the first place.

        Damn those republicans.

    2. emmelemm

      And it's the fact they always, ALWAYS, double down: not ONLY did he say teachers' pay shouldn't be raised, but he went on to say legislators' pay SHOULD be raised.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        He may have a point: There are plenty of Xtard wingnuts who feel called by God to make laws for the rest of us, and would gladly do it for free … but I'd much rather pay somebody else.

      2. tessiee

        And, as prommie quite correctly pointed out in another thread, they're not content with being greedy hogs; their day isn't made until they grind their heel into the windpipe of some victim.

      3. Sparky MacGyver

        I just think it's funny that he suggests that paying him will prevent him from being on the take. As if a few bucks in a paycheck can suppress the conservative's calling to grift!

  3. SudsMcKenzie

    Exactly Mr. Shamrock (I refuse to acknowledge that name), its the same calling my sister gets when she pays for school supplies out of her own pocket.

      1. tessiee

        They'd prefer ignorance to education. An ignorant populace is more easily fooled/led, and more powerless.

        1. BarryOPotter

          They'd prefer ignorance to education. An ignorant populace is more easily fooled/led, and more powerless.

          "Behold, the power of the [INSERT] Church!"

  4. PuckStopsHere

    Guessing therefore that there are hedge fund managers out there who weren't called by The Lord™ to be hedge fund managers.

    1. HistoriCat

      But if the Lord were to call all the hedge fund managers home, the world would be a better place.

  5. Indiepalin

    Simply have inmates earn their keep by teaching the young folk of Alabama how to run trap plays and post patterns so they can win scholarships to Nick Saban's stadium of ill repute.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Y'know, Alabama really is paying Saban a heck of a lot of money, given that he clearly has a calling for coaching Michigan State LSU Miami Dolphins Crimson Tide football, and loves it so much that he would do it for free. Mr. Leprechaun should bring this up in the Legislature. A chance to save millions – they'll love it! And if somebody makes a fuss, he can just say:

      If you double what you're paying Alabama's coach, you know what's going to happen? I've heard the comment many times, ‘Well, the quality of Alabama football's going to go up.' That's never proven to happen, guys.

      That will secure his future in Alabama politics.

    1. vodkamuppet

      Everyone in Alabama knows Waffle House employees have a calling to serve greasy food. Service is right in the job description. It's a gift from the lord!

  6. DahBoner

    Obviously, if Alabammy cut their State Senators salaries to nothing, then they would attract only the infinitely best Senators, who are not out to make money like Senator Hambone, here….

    1. swordfis

      As troubling as the Bible is at times, I think it impossible to find any evidence in it for the ([Neanderthal] X [grifter])'s claims above.

    2. BarryOPotter

      You should read it, then read T-Paine's "Age of Reason," especially the take-downs built only on evidence internal to the bible. We know it makes no sense, but let's arm ourselves with knowledge of the contradictions, inconsistencies, amoral actions and logical fallacies upon which it is built and by which it will fall for those willing to let the scales fall from their eyes.

      1. tessiee

        "Ken's Guide to the Bible" is a similar, line by line, phrase by phrase, deconstruction of some of the crazier parts of the bible, with individual icons to denote "bloodthirsty", "always quoted out of context", "woman-hating", "just plain coocoo", etc. It's a fun read, but he really does sneak some good points in there, too.

    3. OkieDokieDog

      I'm well aware that they pick and choose whatever verse they want to misinterpret as a reason to hate something/someone that they don't agree with. My mind was forever scarred at age 12 by wondering why I should fear a God that I was supposed to love because he loved me. I said no thanks to Stockholm syndrome before I ever heard of Stockholm syndrome.

          1. tessiee

            It's funny to those of us who know her, because she's got the personality and sense of entitlement of Dictator-for-Life of a small Third World country ("I want a pony!"), so for her to call anyone or anything bossy is like praise from Caesar.

  7. BarackMyWorld

    I have no reaction to this except strong violent urges, which I will harbor but not act upon.

  8. Callyson

    McGill said that by paying legislators more, they're less susceptible to taking bribes.
    "He needs to make enough that he can say no, in regards to temptation. … Teachers need to make the money that they need to make."
    Lawmakers need to be paid to say no to bribes. Teachers need to work for their pay. What could possibly be warped about that set – up?

    1. flamingpdog

      Everybody knows teachers are content to take their bribes in shiny red apples, flowers stolen from somebody's front yard on the way to school, and cheap cologne from Squal-Mart..

      1. SorosBot

        And high school teachers are supposed to take bribes in the form of blowjobs from underage students.

        (Oh fuck pretend I didn't say that).

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        We have been known to outsource to them … they have a natural gift for the work. And of course, there is the attraction of cheap labor.

  9. savethispatient

    Of course, public schools are indoctrinating our children in liberalism, because the teachers only do it for the cause, not for a living wage.

    1. tessiee

      One of my neighbors, an elderly and not terribly well educated lady, used to say [in her thick Irish accent] that, "The Good Lord is after sendin' all them tornadoes to punish those people for the shameful way they're treatin' The Cullid".

  10. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    As Jesus said, he was "not concerned about the very poor," and he "liked to fire people." So this is keeping in line with good Christian teaching. After all, if teachers are very poor, you don't have to worry about them, and there is no reason not to fire them.

  11. weej_bain

    Must go home, get out the electrified axe, put on the headphones for Mrs. weejee's sanity, and un-asplode head with a massive doses of E7#9. Hendrix chord forever.

  12. JackObin

    Damn. And I thoght Alabama was a groovy, open-minded place. Well, there's always Mississippi for my next vacation.

      1. Chet Kincaid

        If your folks were part of the Great Migration, you're kind of obligated to vacation Down There every summer. And by "Great Migration", I mean your Uncle who sassed a cracker or looked funny at his wife in 1937, but had a 2 hour lead-time before they got organized, and then sent his kid brother a train ticket to Cleveland a couple of years later.

    1. chicken_thief

      TN is cool. Especially if you are into quasi-military training including tranny porn and pink dildos.

    2. Chet Kincaid

      Look, trying to integrate the roadhouses down there with smart people is noble and all, but you're just going to get yourself run off the road after midnight and set on fire.

      Too soon?

      1. flamingpdog

        Just go ahead and give them some spare poker chips so they don't have to use their food stamps at the casino.

  13. RadioFetusEater

    And, Lloyd Blankfein, et. al. don't have a calling? Hard to argue with wingtard logic, isn't it?

    1. orygoon

      Damn skippy they have a calling. What's calling them isn't the pure sweet love of children and doing good, though. What's calling them is money, so money is what they should get.

      You're spot on; it is rather hard to argue with that.

  14. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, I would think being a politician is a calling. You wouldn't want people doing it just for the money, and, let's face it, you will get the same performance out of them no matter what you pay them. So, let''s cut all Alabama Politician's salaries and get rid of the ones that are doing it for the money and not out of their concern with their community.

  15. JackDempsey1

    I do not know the Jesus in the picture.
    My Jesus is a lovable scamp who has a catering business on the side——serving loaves and fishes to the crowds, nothing fancy, just wholesome food.

      1. flamingpdog

        And he didn't drink water, he freakin' walked on it!

        But would you want to drink that water after he walked on it?

  16. MinAgain

    As someone who comes from a family of teachers and Southern Baptists, I'd like to punch that idiot in the mouth.

  17. e_z

    Jesus H Christ, the stupid is so thick McGill would have a hard time spreading it on a piece of toast.

    1. RadioFetusEater

      Actually this is so sadly true. Ask any waitress, the worst tippers, by far, are Xians. I've heard them leaving those little gospel pamphlet tracts instead. I really feel for the service help at a Cracker Barrel when a busload of Xians pulls up.

      1. tessiee

        My experience, and that of some of my former co-workers, is that the absolute worst customers are rich people. They'll run you ragged, do Klassy things like snap their fingers to summon you (if you're picturing Donald Trump doing this, you're not far wrong), address the Hispanic guy as Pedro (which they pronounce "Pee-dro"), give you insanely detailed directions as to how they want their entree prepared/presented (and complain when it arrives as requested, e.g., "I want this very very hot; if it is not hot enough, I will send it back. Is that clear?" … "OW!! THIS IS WAY TOO HOT!! TAKE IT BACK, NOW!!"), and run up a $300. lunch tab for which they leave a dollar tip.

        *sigh*
        At least I was never corrupted.

        1. RadioFetusEater

          No, tessiee, you are right. Xians and the Job Cremators are of the same cloth: cheap hypocrites. And the link, obvsly, is the Napoleon:

          “Religion is what keeps the poor man from murdering the rich”

          1. Mumbletypeg

            "Job Cremators"

            For your bit of morbid fun-fact while we idle this a.m.: the very same area our featured nimwit spouts his ignorance of school sustaining policy, there was something of a crematorium-related scandal around ten years ago (= my dad’s neck of the woods during the 80s, I spent off-schoolnights in his trailer on Sand Mtn. GA within spitting distance of Alabama’s DeKalb and Jackson counties).
            Anyway – the story linked above that your wording reminde me of – “gross negligence” would be putting it mildly.

  18. Chet Kincaid

    "Shadrack McGill"? Is that some kind of Kosher Irish Pub/Deli?! A homespun detective riding his horse down Broadway and solving crimes?! A bachelor, itinerant Preacher who loves the ladies that love the Lord?! A 1,000+ yard, All-Pro Wide Receiver for the Tennessee Titans?! WHAT THE HELL IS IT, MAN??!!

        1. HistoriCat

          This is what happens when we don't have Wonkabout in DC to give us the latest and greatest info on the food!

          Arielle – this higher education thing is just a boondoggle. Come back to us!

    1. littlebigdaddy

      It would make a good Wonkette screen-name, with a leprechaun wearing a fedora as the avatar.

    2. SudsMcKenzie

      Tonight, on a Very Special episode of "Shadrack McGill, Alabama Legislator". Shadrack and his wife decide to pull little Jill out of school after learning her teacher recieved a raise. (guest starring Ron Palillo).

      1. tessiee

        "Tonight, on a Very Special episode of "Shadrack McGill, Alabama Legislator". … (guest starring Ron Palillo)."

        Shadrach AND Horschack??

    3. BaldarTFlagass

      Shadrack McGills! Isn't that the name of some cheesy pub chain a la Applebee's from the Simpsons?

      1. Sparky MacGyver

        It sounds more like a bad pizza joint with an inflatable dragon the kids can climb on, and $6 Bud Light for the parents, so they can try to forget that they're at "Shadrack McGill's"

    4. coolhandnuke

      First or second cousin–difficult to trace the family tree with so few branches–of Darby O'Gill and the Little Brained People.

    1. MinAgain

      I just hope Tennessee doesn't hear about this. Our governor is already proprosing to eliminate the salary schedule and increase average class size.

  19. obfuscator2

    commandment 11: thou shalt not pay thine educators 2 much monies for that shalt result in more badder teachers. won't thou please think of thine childrenz???!?

    and they all said "amen!"

  20. BarackMyWorld

    Goddamn the Republicans are fuck ups.

    Off topic (otherwise I will explode with rage)….Tweety had a poll on earlier showing Barry 7 points ahead of Mittens in Ohio. Given Ohio's importance in the electoral college and its bell-weather status, and Mitt's inability to not come across like a rich douchebag, I am not so sure November won't be some form of landslide.

    1. Barrelhse

      We'll see if the tarded-again group is really the majority. If so, pass the dynamite because the fuse is lit.

    2. TeaNuts

      ₰ America, the beautiful, for amber waves of grain, for….. opps guess that’s now a copy righted republican song ……. Back to the standard ….USA, USA, USA……..

    3. BarackMyWorld

      Off topic again and speaking of stuff I saw on MSNBC…Alex Wagner was on Al Shapton's show a little while ago.

      At the risk of sounding like a stalker, anyone know how old she is and if she's married?

      1. Iam_Who_Iam

        The bio I found says she is 30 and she has a damn impressive resume for someone so young. She's on fb and twitter (well, her show is) if you wish to proceed with the stalking. Godspeed young man.

    4. Gainsbourg69

      Given how unpopular the teabag governors in Ohio, Michigan, Florida, Indiana, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania are I don't see the repubs doing well in November. But I'd rather keep this to myself lest Democratic voters get too cocky and end up staying home.

    5. imissopus

      Charlie Pierce has an item on his blog at Esquire showing that Mitt's unfavorability rating in Ohio has gone north of sixty percent, which is a pretty high damn unfavorability rating for a Republican nominee for president to have in that state. Probably should have thought twice before endorsing a national right-to-work law if he wants to win those Rust Belt states.

      Still, long way to go to November.

      1. Swampgas_Man

        Still, long way to go to November

        Rightly spoken, brother. Once they finally settle for a nominee — I mean, they HAVE to pick one asshole eventually, right? — you're gonna see pure uuuuuuuggly bottom-shelf mudslinging at the Near in Chief. I resolve to skip the news from the conventions on.

  21. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    To go in and raise someone’s child for eight hours a day, or many people’s children for eight hours a day, requires a calling. It better be a calling in your life. I know I wouldn't want to do it, OK?

    Translation: Since I wouldn't want to do it, it must not be worth anything.

    And these teachers that are called to teach, regardless of the pay scale, they would teach.

    Translation: Because a person enjoys doing something, it is not worth paying for. Ask any entertainer, athlete or chef.

    It’s just in them to do. It’s the ability that God give ‘em. And there are also some teachers, it wouldn't matter how much you would pay them, they would still perform to the same capacity.

    Translation: God wants you to be poor. He wants the Koch Brothers to be rich. Just accept what God wants!

    1. Come here a minute

      Yes exactly, most entertainers, athletes and chefs are paid shit, but you only hear about the superstars. In education, the equivalent is someone like "rock star" Elizabeth Warren, and you can see how it's gone to her head.

    2. MinAgain

      Further translation: "They're just women. Women are ordained by God to take care of children, anyway. Why should we have to pay them?"

      1. SorosBot

        Teachers are just women? Someone forgot to tell that to my father and brother, along with my grandfather and uncle and the one cousin.

    3. Barrelhse

      Electricians, lawyers, carpenters, fishermen, laborers, cops, firemen- fuck 'em all, why should they get PAID??!?

      1. Loaded_Pants

        McGill:
        "Just look at those illegals, hangin' 'round outside hardware stores, lookin' for people to hire them. They love doin' those jobs. It's their callin'. That's why we shouldn't pay 'em at all!"

  22. elfgoldsackring

    And of course, nuns and brothers with such a strong calling to teach that they couldn't be kept away from the chillins, without even getting a salary! Wait, what?

  23. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If you don’t keep that in balance, you’re going to attract people who are not called, who don’t need to be teaching our children. So, everything has a balance.

    Translation: The free market works for everything but teachers salaries. Who can explain that?

    1. flamingpdog

      DUDE, I just realized what the Repoopliklans are talking about when the talk about the "free market". They're talking about all of us working for FREE! Slavery never sounded so good.

    2. tessiee

      "Translation: The free market works for everything but teachers salaries. Who can explain that?"

      *raises hand hesitantly*
      I would like to try.
      Is it… because *they're abject hypocrites and completely full of shit*?
      I mean, assholes like McGill never cite the wonderful free market as it applies to themselves or their corporate masters — but let the opportunity present itself to wring yet another nickel out of the 99% for the benefit of the 1% in our apparently never-ending race to the bottom, and their "free market" mantra magically reappears.

    1. Naked_Bunny

      The teachers teach the children. The children grow to become legislators. The legislators eat the teachers. It's the fuckin' circle of life, man.

  24. Selfish_T

    If Republican legislators are so worried about staving off temptation, maybe they shouldn't spend so much time on rentboy.com.

  25. mavenmaven

    Why teach them Alabama kids at all? Just read them bibles on Sunday, then send them for janitorial and factory work once they turn 6. Chimney sweeping as well.

  26. SayItWithWookies

    The Bible's clearly trying to muscle in on patriotism's territory as the last refuge of scoundrels. Cheap fuckin' scoundrels at that.

  27. SheriffRoscoe

    Everything's a calling ain't it? Undertakers, meter maids, plumbers……Joe The Plumber was called to swab shit out of other people's pipes.

  28. barto

    If we invoke the Laffer curve, then we get one teacher: Jeebus. He got paid squat, for you non-bible scholars.

  29. MissTaken

    I suddenly have a calling to Tase Shadrack McGill. And the calling is so strong, I'd even Tase him for free.

    1. HistoriCat

      If you're willing to do it for free then it really is a calling – who could stand in the way of following your true calling?

      We can all chip in for the taser.

  30. OneYieldRegular

    I'll bet $10,000 Romneyos that this guy has trouble saying "no, in regards to temptation," a LOT.

  31. Generation[redacted]

    "If you double what you're paying education, you know what's going to happen? I've heard the comment many times, ‘Well, the quality of education's going to go up.' That's never proven to happen, guys."

    It's never been proven because it's never been tested, guys.

    1. OzoneTom

      Well we have seen that the quality goes down when you decrease funding (I'm looking at you Texas, and all of your crimson ilk).

      On the other hand maybe pay just hasn't gotten low enough to attract the truly called… But then again it is likely that those worthies simply choose to not live in your moral and intellectual cesspools, if they have the choice.

    2. flamingpdog

      "Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried." – Gilbert K. Chesterton

    3. Naked_Bunny

      I'm curious when the last time a teacher's union even demanded — much less got — a 62% raise.

  32. Wonderthing

    Hell, a REAL teacher will teach for a box of saltines and a can of tuna. A REAL teacher'll go out on the streets and teach for the appreciative smiles of the poor. A REAL teacher will teach in cocktail lounges for tips. Now that I would love to see.

  33. Chichikovovich

    "If you double what you're paying education, you know what's going to happen? I've heard the comment many times, ‘Well, the quality of education's going to go up.' That's never proven to happen, guys."

    One thing Republicans keep telling us is that what makes things better is competition. Public schools don't have it, they say, so we need school vouchers, not because it would be a windfall for religious schools but to make the public schools better. This is, of course, bullshit, but what the hell. Let's run with that suggestion for a moment.

    So, Mr. Darby O'Gill, there's competition among private schools. If their teachers are poor, they will lose students. And if they lose enough students, they stop existing, unless there is some deep-pocketed entity like the Catholic Church keeping them afloat. So let's look at those schools who will go under if their teaching is bad. Do they pay their teachers a) more or b) less or c) the same as public schools? Why look! It's a). Lots more.

    Let's try another one: when private schools cut the pay of their teachers, do the teachers a) stay there b) go somewhere else that pays them what they feel is adequate compensation for their commitment and effort? And if private schools want to attract the best teachers, do they promise them a) more money or b) more empty praise about what a calling they have? Setting aside those private schools in which nuns or priests can be assigned to work – looking just to places where there is genuine free choice about where to go – do the private schools that are the most successful at attracting the students with the most options pay a) more b) about the same or c) less than the schools that struggle to attract students?

    I'll leave it as an exercise for the student, Mr. Banshee, but I have a feeling you already know what you will find.

    Idiot.

        1. Blueb4sunrise

          I just imagined the best of them getting maybe as far as b) in the first scenario…what would happen next….

  34. OneDollarJuana

    Look, I've unloaded on the Deep South a few times in these pages, and was admittedly painting with a broad brush. But Jeebus Godamighty! The evidence for my rants is almost overwhelming.

    I was talking with my wife's nephew the other day, who was at one time a juvenile parole officer. He told me how early on he wondered how these kids could have gotten so screwed up. Then he met the parents.

    I swear, the only reason that the South gets any IQ rating at all is because the numbers are lifted by the presence of the Space Program and a few (unexplainably) amazingly literate authors.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Let's see, Johnson/TX; Michoud/LA; Stennis/MS; Marshall/Redstone/AL; Kennedy/FL. A major NASA facility in every single Gulf Coast state. How the fuck did that happen?

    2. Isyaignert

      If those Red State MoFos had to depend upon just themselves, they'd be in a world of hurt. The Red States depend upon the Blue States to 'effin' survive, but they're too fukkin' ignert to know that, cuz the school budgets have been hacked to bits. The 'cons need their stooges nice and stoooooopied. That way their little fear and smear games will work. If the people were schooled up and curious, they'd say, "WTF?"

  35. V572 the Merciless

    Okay, we know what Shadrack McGill thinks on this important issue. Has Rep Zach Wamp weighed in yet?

  36. chascates

    If you double a CEO's pay scale, you’ll attract people who aren’t called to do anything but rip off that company..

    1. Naked_Bunny

      Of course not. In the private sector, you pay more to get better quality employees. Well, senior managers, and CEOs, not those data entry folks or the guys on the assembly line.

  37. FakaktaSouth

    AHAHAHAHA he said this shit at a PRAYER MEETING for fuck's sake. AS A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL. Oh Shadrack, you're a god damned liar. Top pay with benefits for a teacher with a MASTERS in Alabama is 51,000 dollars. I honestly don't know exactly where Dekalb County is, cause I went to Alabama schools, but I will be sure to kick this guy in the sack if I happen to be in Montgomery anytime soon.

  38. hagajim

    Shadrack McGill is an Irish asshat. My parents both taught and they were totally in it for the big bucks….didn't give a shit about the kids because they were raking in loads of dough….what a fucking tool. My 8th grade history teacher lasted two years before leaving to sell fucking potatoes for twice the goddamn money….fuck you Shadrack you stupid louser.

    1. chascates

      A Texas legislator gets paid $7200 a year but the lege meets only every other year. Most people consider them overpaid.

  39. flamingpdog

    McGill said that by paying legislators more, they're less susceptible to taking bribes.

    That's worked out so well at the Federal level …

  40. flamingpdog

    "I know I wouldn't want to do it, OK?"

    "I know I couldn't do it even if I wanted to, OK?"

    /fixed

  41. James Michael Curley

    Someone should have paid Sharack's mother a little more and she could have bought one of those $0.50 What to Name Your Baby books.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Who needs a book like that when the Bible is full of great names? Just ask Shadrack's siblings Onan, Jezebel, Gomer and Haman.

  42. PhilippePetain

    Sure, let's just not use any objective evidence, make baseless assumptions, and do no testing of our hypothesis and refer to this as McGill's Law, because, science!

  43. Biel_ze_Bubba

    So the more money you offer, the worse class of people you attract, huh?
    Holy crap — can you imagine what type of person might be attracted to work at, say, Bain Capital?

  44. shrillharpy

    Can anyone name one–just one–reality-based Republican senator or congressman? Is there anyone left? WTH happened? Srsly. No kidding. It just gets more and more ridiculous. I can't get drunk fast enough. Oh, and having Tweety on the tv in the background is NOT helping. Perhaps I'm a sadist.

  45. Designer_Rants

    The man's got a point. What do teachers make? One, one point five mil? Much more than that and you'll start attracting investment bankers. Then Hank Paulsen will make the Treasury cut a check for $800 billion to bail out the inevitable not-criminal-for-some-reason greed spoils.

    1. Naked_Bunny

      I'm trying to imagine myself going to my boss and telling her that, if I don't get a 50% raise, I'm going to start embezzling funds, and expecting that to sound compelling.

  46. Blueb4sunrise

    KBJ must have a calling, this is great….

    …..argues alarmingly earnestly for an adult human

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      What's the point of having a "conversation in a quiet room" if you're gonna let somebody record it?

      Gop fucktards are fucktards.

  47. Bluestatelibel

    This logic would apply to any profession of course: we shouldn't pay doctors/strippers/football players too much because then we'll be attracting people who haven't the calling for medicating/taking off clothes/throwing balls. Lame GOPeer fail as usual.

  48. owhatever

    And then them teachers like old lady Grady in my third grade where I crapped in my pants that one day by accident while reading some alphabet stuff with a lot of hard letters in it tole us that we had a kid named Jesus in the class and I had just beat him up on the playground and now I thought I was going to hell because he throwed an evil eye spell on me. She don't deserve no raise if she lets that kind of bullying happen to me. I endorse Newt.

  49. HolyCow!!

    Jesus healed the sick for free. Something I doubt you'll see many modern doctors doing. Perhaps we should pass a law make modern doctors more like Jesus and heal for free…

  50. rickmaci

    If I may repeat myself. Senator, "…What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. "

  51. Antispandex

    …So all of that "supply and demand" and "what the market will bear" stuff was just bullshit? It's all about a calling? OK, fuck 'em then. They should have been called to be C.E.O.'s or something.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah, well, consider the quality of the GOPtards who answered the call. You have to call a whole mess of 'em, just to have a shot at getting a decent one. It's the same reason a fish lays 30,000 eggs.

      From all the evidence, God really should have called a dozen more.

  52. C_R_Eature

    What Steverino247 said.

    I'm having a real hard time Finding the Funny in this one. These people really wear me down sometimes. Every day, one after another, it's a seemingly endless parade of self-serving psychotic pathological douchebags fucking us over & tearing up civil society little by little 'till it's all been stolen, sold or burnt down.

    All I can add is that these people are Dumb All Over, A Little Ugly On The Side.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      With these people, there's never just a little ugly on the side. It's ugly all over their plates.

  53. GregComlish

    If you want good Republican teachers that are motivated by "self-interest" then you have to pay them. If you want people that are motivated by self-interest, then you're going to end up with a bunch of liberals teaching your children.

  54. coolhandnuke

    OT… Today is 2/1/12. Just a few hours left, but I hold hope that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is Canadian (Rush 2112) and she delivers Limbaugh a lethal batch of Oxycotin, an exploding cigar, or a bolt of Florida lightning Or maybe, just maybe some silence from the lambs.

  55. C_R_Eature

    Hey! Just thought of something…
    According to Shadrack, McGill, what Alabama's really got is a "Legislator Problem".
    You see, these particular ones have to be paid at a very high rate so as to be rendered Immune to Temptation. I think it's just a problem with the local resource.
    We could save a whole lot of money (and improve the work product) by outsourcing all the legislator's positions to India. Stay with me now:

    *Cost of living's way lower, these people will work at a bargain wage – at least 60% lower.

    *Higher level of education, so better all around logical legislative construction.

    *Better work ethic than these fat, lazy Americans.

    *Telecommuting costs way lower than maintaining office personnel, parking spaces, State vehicles, graft, mistresses and Rentboys

    *Indians will have a far better grasp of English and no inscrutable Southern accent.

    Hey, Outsourcing works for other American Industries! It'll for sure work for Government.
    We can take all the money we save and put it towards people in jobs that really benefit society.

    Teachers.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Some of them Indians wear turbans. For obvious reasons, that's just not going to fly in Alabama.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Ah, but that's the Beauty part: they'll all still be in India!

        Comin' to Our Town via the Miracles of Telecommuting & Video conferencing. Turbans off, of course.

        Or we can just remove them with Video editing. See, there's fixes for everything!

    1. Loaded_Pants

      Have you never read the Bible? It's right there in the first 3 verses of the New Testament chapter that was written by Alab of Ama (also known as the 13th apostle).

  56. BigDumbRedDog

    You will excuse me if I don't pay attention since the same people would have had me stoned to death for touching a boy while having my period last week. And yahweh only KNOWS what they would do to me if they found out that I don't even like boys.

  57. MiniMencken

    Shadrack? Really? Shadrack? Does he have brothers named Meshach and Abednego? Could we perhaps test his faith by putting him in a fiery furnace? Anything less than that, I'm afraid, would be a half-measure.

  58. johnnyzhivago

    Was thinking of adding a comment to the discussion:

    Finally someone who makes sense in the legislature. All this high pay for teachers is Obama's idea. These teachers force the kids to sign oaths to get their parents to vote democrat and vote more than once. And of course next year if Obama is re-elected, they start Sharia Law in our skools. If that happens parents will get stoned if they make their kids do homework or don't let them watch R rated programs on TV. Don't even think about spanking no more, it's off with your hand at the PTA Assembly!

    Lets get back to reading riting and aritmatic and get Saul Alinsky and his democrat socialism out of our there.

  59. Harry_S_Truman

    Yeah, Brother Shadrack? How about the calling that Brothers Pat Robertson, Jimmy Fae Baker, Jimmy Swaggart, Teddy "I'm so" Haggard, and the rest of that God-loving lot received? I guess they should be paid about $32,500 a year, too, eh? Shit, Robertson's suits cost more than that.

  60. Mahousu

    Actually, Shadrack, the Bible does address your issue quite directly, in multiple passages. Just a few:
    Malachi 3:5: "At that time I will put you on trial. … I will speak against those who cheat employees of their wages, who oppress widows and orphans, or who deprive the foreigners living among you of justice, for these people do not fear me," says the LORD of hosts.
    1 Timothy 5:18: For the Scripture says, "You must not muzzle an ox to keep it from eating as it treads out the grain." And in another place, "Those who work deserve their pay!"
    James 5:4: Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts.

    1. tessiee

      And lo, I went up into the mountain and communed with Thee, O Lord, and returned down unto them saying, "To labor for those who knoweth not one end of a spear from the other without sitting thereupon, must one be paid a king's ransom".
      – Book of Lamentations II

    2. RadioFetusEater

      The poor shall pay unto Caesar what is Caesars. The Job Creators will pay investment into Caesar under the auspices of courtesans so as to keep their homage below the lucky duckies of the seas. The Lord has thus spoken, a business model that has lasteth the thrice decades before shall be carried forth by the fox and the elephant and the jewelry beholden piglet. Further, the slaves and teachers and all the beasts of burden will obey and love their masters as the masses obey their Lord.
      Zephaniah 9:11

  61. comrad_darkness

    If you pay teachers too little, you'll only attract pedophiles, just like God and the Church intended.

  62. Beowoof

    Isn't Alabama the place where some slickers showed up and fucked over Jefferson County to the tune of $4 billion. Shit you don't need no smart teachers, you guys are too far gone.

  63. tessiee

    Because that's how paying the rock bottom lowest wages imaginable works, right? It attracts a dedicated workforce, not those people who can't get any other job.

  64. SilverTsunami

    I've heard that being an Alabama senator is a calling, and paying too much would attract the wrong kind of people. Oh, wait…

  65. Negropolis

    Keep fucking that banjo, Alabama.

    Alabama legislators get paid $1,050 a year…and it certainly shows in the quality of their legislation.

  66. tealsheart

    …so jesus of them. WTF!

    Oh! These are the mofos who graduated at the top of their 5th grade (highSchool) class

      1. tealsheart

        …perfect match….since those mofos are already such insane drunks
        But tell me Mr SexyAzzName, which do you think came 1st, drink or craziness?

  67. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    They say you can't solve the problems of the schools by throwing money at them. Not that they've ever tried it. –Molly Ivins

      1. user-of-owls

        Hey kid, or should I say aloha. In Honolulu doing one of my military short courses and feeling pretty precarious. I thought that the flight and especially that first night would be the worst, but I got through that ok. But today was really rough. Was in a little mini-market and ended up staring all too intently on the beer. I actually was shaking and even felt tears coming on. I got out of the shop alright, but it ended up being really, really tough on me. I thought about you and guess I sent a little mental phone call…I think you gave me some strength. albeit unknowingly. This is the first time I'm really feeling tested. I'm glad that I've been getting through these 'crises', but I'm a little scared. I'm completely on my own, far from home (which to be honest is a pretty good thing these days) and prying eyes. The little things that make it somewhat easier back there are not here and that means I have to dig into myself much more deeply to carry on.

        Don't worry though, ok? This day had to come eventually. I have to be able to do this or I'll never be able to travel alone again, and that's not an option. So just keep being that role model who I can call up when I need that burst of strength. It was, and always is, cathartic just venting to someone who's a 'familiar.' I'll try to throw a few snarks out 'in the wild', just so people don't forget me completely. And of course I'll always be touching base back here in the shadows. Take care, lil' bro.

        1. not that Dewey

          "Being away from prying eyes" is really the kicker, or it is for me anyway. Our Codes of Ethics are supposed to dictate how we behave when nobody is watching, but we're up against a force that is occasionally more powerful than a Code. I failed this particular test, which I took before I was ready. Maybe you're not ready yet, either, but I think you are in a better position now than I was then. Don't hesitate to fall back on the obvious diversions — a long walk, chain smoking, the fitness center at the hotel. Stare at those bottles again and have yourself a moment of clarity.

          I recently had a walk-into-a-liquor-store-and-back-out-again experience. My town is small enough that I'm surprised nobody has asked me about it yet. I entered in a trance, saw the rows of bottles and then woke up. I awkwardly said hello/goodbye to the clerk, who was of course happy to see me back, and confused when I left.

          We are presently undergoing the "ReNewell", which is kind of fun. But it is quiet around here without you. I've tried to play some of our favorite games, but it's just not the same. So it goes. Hurry back.

        2. not that Dewey

          Are you still in exotic, foreign Hawaii? How is it? See any birth certificates?

          I've never been. We have a telescope on Mauna Kea. I tried to get sent there on an installation mission, but there's a waiting list for people to just to go repair the corroded gears. Maybe after a few of the old turks die off.

          Bummin here. The social isolation is starting to get to me. Friends don't drop by anymore; we don't get invited out much. Despite how obnoxious I must have been, I was apparently in demand at parties. Not anymore.

          EDIT: But my linkedin contacts list is expanding quite improbably. People just keep sending me requests and I keep accepting them. Linkedin — it's like facebook if nobody ever did or said anything. Perfect!

          1. user-of-owls

            Hey amigo! Yes, still here. Today was the one and only day I got to the beach. The one right next to the hotel. For roughly 15 minutes. Been a rough week, with a lot of triggers (e.g., I crushed the bumper on my rental…can't wait to deal with the Hertz goons tomorrow), but I didn't break. I'll feel stronger when I get back. So sorry about the isolation thing. Another "side effects may include" part of The Change, I suppose. Gotta run, but just wanted to hoot at you. Take care, kiddo…you'll get to fix those sprockets someday and it will be great.

  68. Tommy1733

    The thing that gets me is McGill cites Biblical authority, but I suspect he just _thinks_ this is the kind of thing that _should_ be in the Bible. It's got that Bible-y kind of ring to it.

  69. Isyaignert

    Butt, butt, what about Michelle Bachmann and Rick Perry? Didn't God call them to run for Preznit? Did He change His mind or did He finally figure out what batshit crazies they are? God has really shitty taste in politicians, IMHO.

  70. BTWBFDIMHO

    Ranking of Elem. schools by state: #48: Alabama.
    Ranking of middle schools by state: #49: Alabama.

    I'd like to compare average teacher salary there with salaries for state senators.

  71. Terry

    Sounds like he was channeling his great-great-grand pappy's rationalizations. Of course, great-great-grand pappy was more concerned about black people and carpet baggers from the North.

    1. Negropolis

      How that different than from today. They are still concerned about Yankees and black people. It seems to crowd every piece of legislation they have. Oh, and also, Mexicans.

  72. Bluestatelibel

    Jesus also gave away free wine too. That now makes it ILLEGAL for wine-makers to charge for wine. Yay! free wine for all!

  73. ttommyunger

    I guess one can hardly help being an ignorant asshole if it's his calling, regardless of the pay; but to wrap his ignorance and assholery in the Bible? Well, that takes a special kind of asshole: a Republican Asshole, more specifically, an Alabama Asshole. Your next-door neighbors to the East in Rednekistan salute you.

  74. comrad_darkness

    Being an asshole is also against the bible, isn't it, Mr. McGill?

    If it's not, then it's an even more useless book than previously thought.

  75. BigDumbRedDog

    Oh God, I just had a horrible thought. I really hope nobody in the executive management of my company catches wind of this logic.

    1. HistoriCat

      Don't worry – they already had that thought. You just need to hope they can't find a way to make it stick.

  76. jus_wonderin

    Oh yeah, and we get politicians that are "called" to service for the graft and corruption they can dabble in. Yup. What would one expect from the conservative mind.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      No kidding, man. I waited to log on just to find….still no news.

      *sigh*

      I want dancing monkeys and I want them NOW!

  77. Mumbletypeg

    Heh… the district this bozo represents is familiar to me (scroll to the bottom it's tagged: "Sand Mountain"; "Ft. Payne," etc.) — as bordering the film location for a highly regarded 80s flick starring a still-spunky Kristy McNichol and devilishly handsome Dennis Quaid (not to mention title song featuring not-yet-has-been comedienne Vickie Lawrence): The Night The Lights Went Out In Legislators' Noggins.

  78. lloydstool

    This nutsack is my new idol. He reminds me of Glen, HI's boss in Raising Arizona: "Why's it take 4 Polacks to screw up a light bulb? Cuz they're s'darn stupid! Get it?"

  79. Biff

    It's Groundhog Day all over again, Layne's out waiting for a rattlesnake to come out and see its shadow. Your Wonkette editors will be with you shortly.

        1. Dashboard Buddha

          That's why I wear a beard…hides the double chin allowing folks to focus on my superlative mind. (lmao).

          You've got to accentuate the positive
          Eliminate the negative
          And latch on to the affirmative
          Don't mess with Mister In-Between

    1. Chichikovovich

      Maybe we can persuade Finn-in-Parisian exile parisbiltong to become one of the Wonkette Jrs. Even an early afternoon post for him would be nice and early for us. 'Course, we'd probably have to get used to a diet of dumb Swede jokes and reports on eukonkanto wife-carrying races, but it's better than getting carpal tunnel from fruitlessly hitting refresh every thirty seconds.

      1. HistoriCat

        Oooh – I like it! Our new European correspondent.

        And didn't Riley head off to the Czech Republic for work? Can't someone persuade him to type up something and send it off? We're not asking for much here.

  80. gizdal

    teachers don't need to get paid at all- jesus can teach the kids free.
    perhaps them kids don't need no edjicashun. show them the good book, i.e. "god's big book of bad ideas" , sometimes also known as
    "the old book of hoary fairy tales."
    and don't you forget that Lord Jesus, bless his soul, never read the bible.

  81. owhatever

    God called me to be a teacher, but it went straight to voice mail, so I blocked the number and erased the message without reading it.

  82. stumbleandleap

    I had a calling to teach. And then I had another calling, after too much ramen eating and crappy apartment dwelling in marginal neighborhoods, proclaiming "get thee a job that pays thy bills. And it shall be good… enough. Who needs a soul anyhow?"

  83. TB36

    Just like being a Politician is a real job, so is teaching whether it is called of good or not. Teachers work for eight hours a day, obtain a bachelors degree or higher, and provide a service to society just like all other occupations, or politicians and therefore deserve the same salary. Both teaching and politics requires labored hours, intense retaining capability, and effort just in different areas of content. Therefore both teaching and politics deserve a suitable pay that represents the effort and work put forth by the individual. As stated in Bluestatelibal comment; if we refer the policy that teaching is in the Bible and therefore doesn’t need to be paid well because it is an act of god then we should apply it to all the occupations that are in the Bible because that would also classify them as called of god. It would not be fair if teachers pay got shorted because their occupation is in the Bible, while those who also have occupations in the Bible got a raise. It would be fair if pay as stated before was based on the effort put forth by the individual and not the title of the occupation.

  84. rust7507

    I believe that Senator McGill is wrong in saying that teachers are given a “…sweet, sweet salary.” In fact, in a salary survey given in Washington State, the state was ranked 21st in the nation for its average teaching salary in 2006-2007 which was $47,880. It is not fair to take away from a group of people that don’t make that much money as it is. It is not right to think that you are better than someone who is doing a public service to our country, just because you are in a position to take away money from something should a quorum agree with you. After all, the men and women who serve our country in the public eye would not be where they are today had they not received the education from those who did their best to give them a proper education.

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