different strokes for awful folks

Tasing Violence At Occupy DC Gets CNN’s Erick Erickson Hot And Bothered

Pepper spray is OVER, folks. Hope you enjoyed all the funny stuff the unemployed section of Internet users put together about the cop from Angry Birds spraying everything, ’cause in 2012, vicious crack downs on Occupy protesters are going to be all about tasering: hard, cold, fast, and indiscriminate. Which means….exciting new opportunities are opening up for third-rate human impersonators like Erick Erickson to interrupt the erectile dysfunction ads on their AM radio shows so as to fatly chortle that “watching a hippie protester get tased [at Occupy DC] just makes my day.”

Savvy taser-promoters will make sure to follow Erickson’s example and direct listeners to some fetid corner of the Internet to enjoy the “hilarious” tasing footage that is “just made of awesome.” And who knows? If you’re loathsome enough, and lucky enough, maybe you, too, can get paid to loud-talk on CNN, just like Erick Erickson! [HuffPo/Media Matters]

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  1. JustPixelz

    to fatly chortle that “watching a hippie protester get tased [at Occupy DC] just makes my day.”

    That's just what Louis XVI said, en français, naturellement.

      1. JustPixelz

        When I was a hippy they didn't have none of these new-fangled tasers. The police used good ole fashioned clubs. And the Erik Eriksons of the day could only fatly chortle that “watching a hippie protester get beaten [at …] just makes my day.”

    1. Man0nTheStreet

      It would only be appropriate to answer Le Chortler en français aussi – so what's French for "Up against the wall, Fatass"?

  2. MozakiBlocks

    The line to tase Erick, son of Erick, forms to the right. No pushing folks, everyone gets a turn.

    1. dadanarchist

      If only, but cheetoh dust and blubber don't conduct electricity too well, so I'm not sure it would actually hurt him.

  3. CapnFatback

    to enjoy the “hilarious” tasing footage that is “just made of awesome.”

    Unlike Erickson, who is made of rancid beef hearts and fudge.

  4. Sassomatic

    How long do we have to go before they start making gas chamber jokes? If they haven't already, I mean.

      1. SorosBot

        True; they did at least eventually fire them for their offensiveness, so maybe they will finally dump Erick someday. But would it kill them to have an actual liberal on their network for once?

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          Never mind liberals … how about just hiring people with class and brains?
          You never knew if Cronkite, Chancellor, or Brinkley were conservative or liberal … you just got the news, presented in an intelligent manner. How fucking hard is that, CNN?

    1. GOPCrusher

      Do people actually watch CNN anymore? I don't think I've turned it on once since the 1st Gulf War ended.

    2. Rotundo_

      CNN wants to attract a wide audience of yahoos, dolts and violent sick people, with Ewick you get the hole package. I think the only viewers left are the poor assholes stuck in Atlanta at the airport where they mercilessly set all the monitors to CNN and fuck up air traffic for the eastern seabord daily.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Are advertisers actually looking to sell stuff to yahoos, dolts, and sick fucks?

        Ahh, fuck it, … please don't answer.

  5. SheriffRoscoe

    People PAY to have personal trainers run electric current through their bodies to analyze their body fat ratio. I don't see the hoopla about people getting tasered.

    1. gullywompr

      In that case, I suggest that police departments cut back on providing free services like this for homeless people.

      1. GOPCrusher

        Its only a matter of time before city governments decide that people should pay for being tased.

    2. Crank_Tango

      Slightly OT, but I read the following line last night, "…an electrified butt plug I already owned…" actually now that I think about it, it isn't all that OT after all.

  6. MissTaken

    Dammit, just got my pepper spray and it's already out of style? Guess I'll spend my lunch hour getting a Taser. Being fashionable is soooo exhausting sometimes.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Just remember that Pepper Spray is essentially food, so feel free to use your canister the next time you are at a fancy resturant.

    2. SorosBot

      I think the big current fashion is to carry both a Taser and pepper spray, so that you can always adjust your torture crowd-control needs to the situation at hand.

    3. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I wonder if clothing with conductive fabric will become all the style. On top of diverting the current away from the victim's body, short-circuiting the 20,000-or-whatever volts in the cops' hands might have interesting consequences.

  7. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Erick, son of Erick, just likes the tasing video because the only way he can get off is by inserting an electric probe up his own ass.

      1. JustPixelz

        He was trying to say "Don't tase me brown shirt mate. It contains copper and may cause a harmful flashing effect which could affect nearby electronic devices including pacemakers. " But he didn't get to finish.

  8. hagajim

    Someone needs to stick a taser prod up Erick Erickson's dickhole…that's about all that useless piece of shit is worth.

    1. HateMachine

      Why should we help that asshole get off? Cock tasing just sounds like 'Friday night' to Erickson.

      1. hagajim

        Don't kid yourself…he's like the rest of the douchebags over there, a big fucking Chickenhawk. You stick a taser on him (anywhere) and he's cry like a baby before shitting himself.

  9. gullywompr

    Let's see… What's the most clever way to use the word "fuck" here…

    Fuck U. Fuckson?

    Help me out, folks.

  10. Spurning Beer

    First, America's Funniest Home Videos of footballs-in-crotches. Then Tosh.0's roof-skiing and pool-jumping injuries. Now this. I guess that public hangings idea was inevitable.

    I blame television. And you, Sly, Arnold, Bruce, and Vin.

    Anybody want to do a spec screenplay for a procedural medical show about psychiatrists administering ECT?

    1. CapnFatback

      I won't be satisfied until we have public crotch hangings.

      "Hang 'em where they're hung," my grandpappy would always say.

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    There's some pretty sick fucks out there. They're all into pain and bondage and domination and S&M and coprophagia and urolagnia and I reckon nowadays they can really get their jollies on the internet. And look, there's one on the television!!!

    1. Swampgas_Man

      REAL pervs get it on w/ consenting adults. Fucks like Ericson get it on w/ small, furry animals.

  12. Isyaignert

    This fuk-head-shit-for-brains cretian should be on Fux News where he belongs with the other fuk-head-shit-for-brains cretians.

    1. DaRooster

      The best part is going around the scene later and seeing the designs that the blood and brains made on the walls… hours of fun… on shrooms.

  13. SheriffRoscoe

    When I was a kid I would rub my feet on the carpet to build static electricity so I could "tase" my brother. I have to admit, it was a lot of fun then.

    1. bflrtsplk

      I had a feeling all along that were my brother. Mom always said that kind of stuff built character… in me.

  14. CapnFatback

    On the bright side, if this incident did indeed make his day, at least for one night a hooker in the Atlanta area doesn't have to whip herself/himself in shame.

  15. Eve8Apples

    When Erick sees video footage of hoodlums beating up homeless people, Erick hatefucks himself until he's unconscious.

  16. PsycWench

    I await some numb-nuts causing serious harm to a protester and claiming that Erickson gave him the idea, followed by the standard "this-is-humor-i'm-sorry-if-I was-misunderstood" line. Sort of like Sarah Palin presented with the crosshairs over Gabby Gifford's name.

  17. PsycWench

    OK, just listened to the audio and I now believe Erickson's source of inspiration was less Reagan and more Eichmann.

  18. Dashboard Buddha

    I'm a little douchbag short and numb
    I would be a Nazi, but I'm too dumb
    When fascists shoot the tazers my heart will drum
    Shock her shock her until I cum

  19. shrillharpy

    Just listened to that shit. Makes me wanna sneak outta my office for an hour or so and run down to McPherson Square, find the hose bag, and punch him in the nuts repeatedly. Who's with me?

  20. Fare la Volpe

    Erick's happy he has some new wanking material. His copy of Schindler's List was getting so worn out.

  21. CommieLibunatic

    It's all fun and games and merriment. That is, until it's your own bulbous ass dancing Tom Swift's Electric Jitterbug.

  22. MadBrahms

    I'm glad we have a "vile human beings" tag for instances like this, though as was pointed out, Son of Erik's status as a human is debatable.

  23. prommie

    Like I was just saying, they revel in the misery of others, feed on it like vampires on the blood of their victims. Erik would come all over himself if we have another Kent State. Oops, I should have said "when" we have another Kent State. Whats funny is, when it happens again, this time there will be no tide of revulsion, no, this time, the shameless hateful pigfuckers will love it, and demand more shooting of hippies, and then its just a small increment to shooting liberals, and hell, they talk about shooting liberals all the time, Anne Coulter, in fact, is their Madame DeFarge.

    1. James Michael Curley

      I went AWOL for four days after Kent State. On return when being 'addressed' by the XO, the world's revulsion at the events at Kent State made it easy to talk my way out of a Courts Martial.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        I went over the hill for 3 days in Bangkok right after the Rooskies shot down the Korean airliner. Worldwide revulsion did not save me from 30 days restriction, 30 days extra duty, half-months pay for two months, and reduction in rate. But it was fucking worth it.

        1. James Michael Curley

          I’m sure your escapades in Bangkok were far more interesting than mine in Killeen, TX.

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            "Better" but not nearly as spicy. Can't beat that back-alley Patpong Road "Fido on a Stick" at heat setting number 8.

          2. James Michael Curley

            Right outside the main gate they had a cafeteria. You could go through and choose from about six or eight varieties of BBQ. Always interesting to see the heads of the real crackers explode when confronted with beef or chicken BBQ ‘This does not compute.’

    2. bagofmice

      Oh, come on. It was a joke! You have to admit it had the guy rolling on the floor.

      Signed — The Joker.

  24. lulzmonger

    Shorter Erk Erksson: "When I hear the words 'police violence,' I reach for my micropenis."

    When they said they were for Family Values, which family was it? The fucking Manson Family? Coulter plays Griefer with 9/11 widows, Limbaugh plays White Knight to the LRA, & now this?

    Keep it classy, conservatives!

    1. bagofmice

      Remember, when talking family values about the party of Reagan, Gingrich, or Limbaugh, you have to specify the family. So it comes out like Limbaugh[1] or Gingrich[2] in standard C-style notation.

  25. slowhansolo

    I'd bet not a lot of money, about $350,000, that this vile dough-eater has never even been in a fistfight, much less had to scrap for his rights or life.

  26. prommie

    And meanwhile, just down the Mall, the GOP orders Capital Police to arrest a journalist for trying to film a house hearing on fracking.

  27. MissTaken

    Must be tough to go through life jealous of people who can fill their entire fist with their penis.

  28. DaRooster

    What the fuck is the big deal?

    Tasers are food essentially… or are they people? I can't keep this shit straight.

  29. BaldarTFlagass

    where I is the current through the conductor in units of amperes, V is the potential difference measured across the conductor in units of volts, and R is the resistance of the conductor in units of ohms.

    So, it's just physics, no big deal. Why is everyone so bent out of shape?

  30. chascates

    Erick Erickson exercising his first amendment rights? Not taser-worthy.
    Anyone Erickson disagrees with? Full of awesome taser-worthy.

    Not doubt his father relished the videos of blacks being blasted with fire hoses and being set upon by police dogs.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      I sent this as a tip to Wonkette, so I am not going to waste any of the prime snark I've been formulating as a secondary comment to your comment here.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Jackpot! And then I had to spend the last 90 minutes in a fucking meeting away from my desk, the post about this is already 160 comments old, and my snark is probably all stale and shit.

    2. SorosBot

      Um, how the fuck are they supposed to monitor that? It's not enough that people are stuck being poor and on welfare; the GOP wants to tell them how they can spend the little money they do have. That's sick.

  31. BaldarTFlagass

    Erick probably had to go change his shorts after he watched Ed Norton curbstomp the black guy in that movie. And not because he pissed or shit them.

  32. Antispandex

    I was only a very young lad, but I remember when they just shot you, or lynched you, or beat you insensible, if you protested. These young folks don't know how far we have come as a society. Ungrateful bastards.

  33. ttommyunger

    Erickson/Cantor they have more in common that their front name, and I think we know what that is.

  34. mrblifil

    Ha. Guess those mean things we've been saying about him for years are still rankling. This statement is tame compared to the one where he declared he'd shoot Census workers who came to his door. One of these days he'll probably explode in some combination of arterial/sexual/blunt object/gun violence behavior. Which will make my fucking day, when it happens.

  35. Catabite

    I'd be happy to tase Erick Erickson, so he can experience the awesome first hand. What can I say, I just want to share the zappy, heart-stopping love.

  36. Negropolis

    A lot of shit gets Erick Erickson "hot and bothered" including, but not limited to:

    1. A single flight of stairs.
    2. 36 seconds of sexual congress.
    3. And, uhhh…oops.
    4. Walking a shopping mall parking lot.
    5. Driving in the rain/snow.

    I want to see Erick tased simply so I'd get the smell bacon being cooked.

  37. Man0nTheStreet

    I think it safe to say all Wonketratti reluctantly knew that the repression and suffering of others makes Erwick-son-of-Erwick's pathetic penis-analogue all turgid and tingly with malicious, malodorous glee – perhaps not quite as much as when he shoves terrified kittens up his ass, but almost so, plus he gets to cheerlead the continued decay of democracy on his electonic zoo of self-hating political stupidity. We knew this about him, and we should not be too shocked at each forthcoming chthonic chortle. It's just the ReThuglican way.

  38. IndianaKevin

    I found the video clip and the "news" photographer captured the before and the after, but not the tasing, leading me to believe it was edited out.

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