GRIFTERLAND  4:25 pm January 30, 2012

Jan Brewer Expecting Treat Now for Shaking Finger at Barack Obama

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

YOU WILL BE EATED.

Boy oh boy is Arizona governor Jan Brewer ever so lucky that Barack Obama came to visit her state — his visit has already started to generate new revenue! No no, not for Arizona or anything, no, ha ha. It’s revenue for Jan Brewer, America’s neediest governor, which she is collecting via some tragic website that asserts her right to a monetary reward in exchange for performing the valuable service of yelling at the President like a deranged twit in view of a few news photographers. Who says it’s getting hard to make a buck in America these days?

This is why Jan Brewer thinks she deserves your money, per the text of the “JAN PAC” website:

Friends,

I need your help!

When I met President Obama this week, I really wasn’t pointing at him. I was telling him, “You have ONE more year!” The President needs to be reminded that he is the President of the FEDERAL REPUBLIC and not a KING lording over state governors.

While I wanted to talk to him about jobs, our economy and visiting our border, President Obama criticized my book, Scorpions for Breakfast, and then walked away from me.

We deserve results over rhetoric, but this is a President who had the audacity to sue me and Arizona in my efforts to protect our country from illegal immigration!

Yes, “results over rhetoric” cries Jan Brewer! All that Jan Brewer deserves is a paper sack of dog poop on her desk every morning. [JAN PAC]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 360 comments }

PuckStopsHere January 30, 2012 at 4:27 pm

If she wants "a treat" she ought to stick that finger if hers up her ass, extract it and suck it clean. That would be a good treat for her.

BearNoLike January 31, 2012 at 2:23 am

Seriously, though, ew.

littlebigdaddy January 30, 2012 at 4:27 pm

How does this affect Sarah Palin?

memzilla January 30, 2012 at 4:28 pm

A Flash Gordon-inspired "De-Crazy-ing Ray" beam projector will not work in Arizona. Maybe it's the heat, maybe it's the skull thickness, maybe it's the skin color — but it just ain't gonna work.

MissTaken January 30, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Can't we just pour some water on her and be done with this wicked witch already?

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Considering that Brewer's skin appears to be made of leather, it would be interesting to see what happens to it if she ever gets it wet.

AlterNewt January 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Kind of a science experiment.

Nothingisamiss January 30, 2012 at 5:52 pm

That's what we'd call it.

Fare la Volpe January 30, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Hence why she lives in Arizona.

MissTaken January 30, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Just think: if she starred in a remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre they wouldn't have to hire a makeup artist. Austerity!

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Instead of a bunch of horny teenagers, the victims would all be a bunch of Mexican immigrants, and Leatherface would run after them screaming, "Anchor babies! Anchor babies!"

PhilippePetain January 30, 2012 at 6:13 pm

If talking to Our Barry on the tarmac doesn't get her wet, nothing will, amirite?!?!?!

NellCote71 January 30, 2012 at 11:08 pm

It sure would work for me.

GOPCrusher January 30, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Dessicated old battleaxe.

teebob2000 January 31, 2012 at 1:43 pm

On behalf of battleaxes, you take that back you bastard!

poorgradstudent January 30, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I think it has to be water from Mexico.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 8:35 pm

See, typical liberal hypocrisy. Libruls all whine that some cop shooting a shirt is an assassination threat against The One, but a direct wish for Jan Brewer's death is laughed off and rewarded with pee points. Oh, sure, you may claim you were "joking," but as we all know what you really meant, your sick fascination with murdering your enemies is obvious.

(Think I'll pass the audition for WorldNetDaily?)

Puffperney January 30, 2012 at 9:03 pm

You're a shoe-in!

BearNoLike January 31, 2012 at 2:28 am

So Loughner got confused and hit the wrong person, then. You're probably wrong about that though, because Brewer lacks the constitution…

James Michael Curley January 31, 2012 at 9:05 am

I don't wish her death. Just a case of Jersey City bedbugs.

Chet Kincaid January 31, 2012 at 9:28 am

Throw in "Mooshelle $50,000 underpants" and they'll Hategasm!

AlterNewt January 30, 2012 at 4:28 pm

"Likes intimate dinners, long walks on the border…"

smokefilledroommate January 30, 2012 at 4:54 pm

favorite color: white

AlterNewt January 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Favorite band: The Scorpions.

AlterNewt January 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I'm sorry.

Negropolis January 30, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Favorite food: Fancy Feast.

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 2:02 am

Favorite drink: Toilet water.

KeepFnThatChicken January 31, 2012 at 9:11 am

Are you calling her a pussy?

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm

"My friends say I occasionally just lose my head…"

MaxNeanderthal January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Looks like yellow nylon fright wigs and 80's shoulder pads are IN in the wild, wild, west….

Jukesgrrl January 30, 2012 at 7:52 pm

We call it Dallas Lite.

SayItWithWookies January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Jan Brewer: an altercation of one.

Chillwillard January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Since she loves pointing fingers and prosecuting Messicans so much, somebody should reward Janet's courage by giving her a Dirty Sanchez.

Beowoof January 30, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I think a Cleveland Steamer would be better, but it loses the Mexican relate.

BaldarTFlagass January 30, 2012 at 6:20 pm

You could always name it Hot Carl(os)

Dashboard Buddha January 30, 2012 at 6:37 pm

AND a donkey punch!

PsycWench January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Sorry, JB. Obama might have only one year left, IF it weren't for the heroic efforts of Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul and Rick Santorum.

Fare la Volpe January 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Don't leave out the noble contributions of Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Tim Pawle-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

PsycWench January 30, 2012 at 5:03 pm

How could I have forgotten Sarah Palin and Donal Trump, who were "mental candidates" in more ways than one.

GOPCrusher January 30, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Two words: Thad Cotter

starfanglednut January 31, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Who?

Negligently_Joe January 31, 2012 at 7:35 am

Timmy who?

Spurning Beer January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Why do Washington bureaucrats oppose Arizona's use of flying monkeys to patrol their border?

AlterNewt January 30, 2012 at 6:31 pm

No, really. Why?

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Because of activist judges and ACORN.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Obama should have just thrown water on her.

Negropolis January 30, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Because they are always going bananas?

*crickets*

40 or 50 % McShineys January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Has that picture been Photoshopped? Because Obama looks terrible.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Margaret Hamilton doesn't look so good, either.

DaRooster January 31, 2012 at 8:59 am

And it seems she has become a bitch.

jus_wonderin January 31, 2012 at 9:37 am

I thought that was zombie Cora suggesting BO have a cup of coffee.

SorosBot January 31, 2012 at 9:31 am

It looks like they photoshopped Brewer to make her look more attractive and human.

SexySmurf January 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm

When I met President Obama this week, I really wasn’t pointing at him. I was telling him, "Pull my finger!"

DerrickWildcat January 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I yelled at the President. Give me money.

TheGyrus January 30, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Worked for that "You Lie!" character.

smokefilledroommate January 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm

my book my book my book

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Crank_Tango January 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm

…and alert secret service agents wrestled the ghoul to the ground.

MaxNeanderthal January 30, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Good point. How come they allowed a deranged sociopath within this kind of range of POTUS? Perhaps she comes on the "sad" list at Secret Service HQ, not the "bad" list. (It's a fucking racing certainty she's on the "mad" list…)

40 or 50 % McShineys January 30, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Those clacking dentures could have easily snapped out of their leather container and bitten the president!

Extemporanus January 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm

If that shaky fucking finger could talk…

smokefilledroommate January 30, 2012 at 4:48 pm

If that pathetic excuse for a governor could just disappear..

Baconzgood January 30, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Here let me fix this for her.

Friends Who May or May not Have Read Scorpions for Breakfast.

I Jan Brewer, author of Scorpions for Breakfast, need your help!

When I, the author of Scorpions for Breakfast, met President Obama, who has yet to read Scorpions for Breakfast, this week, I really wasn’t pointing at him talking about Scorpions for Breakfast. I was telling him, “You have ONE more year!” and should by a copy of Scorpions for Breakfast at my web site Scorpions for Breakfast.com. The President, who has yet to read Scorpions for Breakfast, needs to be reminded of Scorpions for Breakfast, and that he is the President of the FEDERAL REPUBLIC that should read Scorpions for Breakfast and not a KING who hasn't read Scorpions for Breakfast lording over state governors who may or may not have read Scorpions for Breakfast.

Baconzgood January 30, 2012 at 4:33 pm

While I wanted to talk to him about jobs, Scorpions for Breakfast, our economy, Scorpions for Breakfast, and visiting our border while reading Scorpions for Breakfast, President Obama criticized my book, Scorpions for Breakfast which he didn't read, and then walked away from me unwilling to talk about Scorpions for Breakfast anymore.

We deserve results, like buying Scorpions for Breakfast over rhetoric about not reading Scorpions for Breakfast , but this is a President who didn't read Scorpions for Breakfast,, had the audacity to sue me, author of Scorpions for Breakfast, and Arizona, where the writer of Scorpions for Breakfast lives, in my efforts to protect our country from the Scorpions for Breakfast that is illegal immigration!

Scorpions for Breakfast Scorpions for Breakfast,

Jan, Author of Scorpions for Breakfast, Brewer.

.P.S. Scorpions for Breakfast

smokefilledroommate January 30, 2012 at 4:39 pm

The Audacity of Scorpions for Breakfast

Extemporanus January 30, 2012 at 4:45 pm

8 a.m.: Barack Me Like a Hurricane

Sharkey January 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm

It's all just a big misunderstanding. She just wants a good breakfast for a change, and she's willing to trade perfectly suitable scorpions for it.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 8:43 pm

That reminds me of the time I traded a perfectly good sausage for a seagull.

Ever since, I have regretted taking a tern for the wurst.

BigDumbRedDog January 30, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I was gonna read her book but I can't for the life of me remember the name of it. Huh.

DaRooster January 30, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Should try to get a plug in there somewheres.

Baconzgood January 30, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Fuck! You're right. I should have mentioned Scorpions for Breakfast before people posted a reply.

40 or 50 % McShineys January 30, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Butt of course!

CapnFatback January 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I believe there's more subtext there, just beneath, if you scrape the scum away:

Fellow whites,

I need your help!

When I met President Oblacka this week, I really wasn’t pointing at him. I was telling him, “You should count as only 3/5 of a person!” The President needs to be reminded that he is the President of the FEDERAL REPUBLIC and not an African KING drive-by shooting state governors.

While I wanted to talk to him about gold chains, fried chicken and visiting the Golden Corral, that uppity negro criticized my book, Mexicans for Breakfast, and then moonwalked away from me.

We deserve the goddamned world because of our smooth, creamy white skin, but this boy is a jive turkey who had the audacity to sue me and Arizona in my efforts to protect our country from wetbacks raping our daughters and spicing up our eggs with their sinister picante!

anniegetyerfun January 30, 2012 at 4:54 pm

God, but I wish that he HAD moonwalked away from her.

smokefilledroommate January 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm

lolz at the mental imagery of Brewer using the term 'jive turkey'.

Baconzgood January 30, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Win for using "Jive turkey".

Crank_Tango January 30, 2012 at 5:11 pm

you loony libs can laugh all you want, but you've obviously never had the shits that Scorpions for Breakfast result in.

Biff January 30, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Lyin' African, or African Lion King?

Negropolis January 30, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Mmmm…Mexicans for Breakfast. Delicious.

emmelemm January 31, 2012 at 2:38 am

Others are focussing on the jive turkey, but I'm impressed by the sinister picante.

CapnFatback January 31, 2012 at 11:25 am

I wouldn't dream of eating jive turkey unless it was smothered in sinister picante.

ShaveTheWhales January 30, 2012 at 7:30 pm

With a Forward by Anne Elke.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 31, 2012 at 12:13 am

ahem!

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 7:04 am

I really wish she'd have had box jellyfish for breakfast, myself.

CapnFatback January 30, 2012 at 4:33 pm

As if this were the first time Brewer fingered someone for the money.

anteater January 30, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Ok, that was perfect.

Mumbletypeg January 30, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Does anyone really like this woman? That's a news colloquium topic I'd be willing to hear reporters etc, weigh in on. Brewer would be invited to listen in too if so inclined.

Jukesgrrl January 30, 2012 at 8:01 pm

The people who tell her what to do love her. She obeys.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 8:03 pm

The people who pay her to do what they tell her love her. Or at least find her leathery carcass useful.

Even they might choke on the word "love" in reference to Gov. Lies-a-Lot.

MilwaukeeKent January 30, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Does she suppress brown people? Including those whose families have lived in the state dating back to the Spanish land grants? Yes, therefore, 2nd generation Polish-American retirees (from places like Berwyn, Illinois) love her. That sucks.

Spurning Beer January 30, 2012 at 4:34 pm

"Doctor says I wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there."

lefty74 January 30, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Barry. Stop handing out the stilts you give these midgets.
They should not be in frame with you.

anniegetyerfun January 30, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Word. She shouldn't have been allowed within 100 feet of him. The footage of her clawing and screaming at him, from a distant spot on the tarmac, held back by bodyguards, would have been priceless.

Negropolis January 30, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Bing-fuckin'-O.

Stop giving them an audience. Make them work for the disrespect they show your office. And, when they diss you for not meeting with them, remember this moment, and then rightfully weigh which is worse. You lose in their eyes either way, so win something for yourself and your supporters for once when it comes to optics.

JimNauseam January 31, 2012 at 12:24 am

Good point, but there's something to be said for the visual contrast. It's like posing a Ferrari next to a pile of dogshit.

starfanglednut January 30, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Oh, fuck her. She would never,ever, ever treat a white President with such disrespect, never mind ask for money because of it. Yes, you assholes, a BLACK man is PRESIDENT! Get fucking over it! God, this pisses me off.

That woman needs a "free speech zone" all to herself.

flamingpdog January 30, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I wish she had a "freak speech zone" all to herself, but then … Repooplicans.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Brewer's "free speech zone" should be similar to a chicken coop in which she's screaming racist insults & smearing her face with her own feces. It would even keep the weasels away.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 9:37 pm

If a black man or woman, in any capacity, did this to W or Cheney, he/she would have been face down on the pavement, being handcuffed.

BearNoLike January 31, 2012 at 2:49 am

Haha that's what I totes said when I saw that. Jan Brewer represents the most racist reactionary body language of any pro-white-sheet-hoodie race-war-mongering bigot since American History X. The entitlement imagery of that leather-faced cracker denigrating the black guy (heh, her very own POTUS, apparently) is so infuriating and disappointing.

Here's hoping she gets LA Times coverage logging in to MyFamilyBenefits.

RavenRant January 31, 2012 at 4:06 am

Totally aside from the inexcusable finger an inch from his face, check out how wide open that hideous, gaping maw is. It looks like she's about to unhinge her reptilian jaw to try to swallow him.

OneYieldRegular January 30, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I believe Joe Wilson already tried this tiresome "I've been rude to the President – give me money!" schtick.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Yes, and profited handsomely from it. Hell, Obama should see if he can get in on the action…

anniegetyerfun January 30, 2012 at 4:35 pm

She DOES realize the the lawsuit over immigration isn't a civil lawsuit filed personally by the President against her, right? Department of Justice, Constitution, all that?

BerkeleyBear January 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Nope. She's also convinced she is going to single-handedly turn things around in Arizona (or already has), all evidence of her fuck ups notwithstanding.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 9:05 pm

More than that–it's an uppity Near assaulting a white lady. Many will happily believe that there should be consequences.

starfanglednut January 30, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Silly. The wingnuts don't care about what the constitution actually says.

comrad_darkness January 30, 2012 at 10:32 pm

No, she's a republican governor and by the requirements of her party for that post hasn't a fucking clue how government works.

OneYieldRegular January 30, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Not a chance. All she knows is to react, like a planarian oriented towards some vague light source.

DerrickWildcat January 30, 2012 at 4:37 pm

They weren't booing. They were yelling Brrrrreeeewwweeerrr.

Baconzgood January 30, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I was saying Brewer.

-H. Moleman-

paris biltong January 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm

He's president of the Federal Republic of Germany? I didn't know that and thought he didn't even speak German.

littlebigdaddy January 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Plus which, it doesn't exist anymore!

Crank_Tango January 30, 2012 at 5:15 pm

you know who else…something, something, germany, something?

Geminisunmars January 30, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Who waved finger and hand around, something, something frothing at the mouth?

anniegetyerfun January 30, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Sideshow Bob?

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 9:07 pm

The
Bart,
The!

flamingpdog January 30, 2012 at 5:42 pm

How could he be a Nazi socialist and not speak German?

Smitros January 30, 2012 at 4:42 pm

She is almost certainly going to get a good time slot for speaking at the Republican convention.

Jukesgrrl January 30, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Bingo!

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Good. It will be a flashing neon sign advertising what despicable, hateful, racist sociopaths they all are.

Let her fire up the base. Anyone outside of the drooling 25% is going to be repelled.

sarah_connor January 30, 2012 at 4:43 pm

WHEREAS, you best read Scorpions for Breakfast or I'll eat you and your little dog too, for breakfast!

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"We deserve results over rhetoric, but this is a President who had the audacity to sue me and Arizona in my efforts to protect our country from illegal immigration"

Yes, of course he had the "audacity" (another attempted code word for "uppity"?) to sue you, because it's the justice department's job to sue states when they pass blatantly unconstitutional laws. Even forgetting about the violation of the 14th Amendment, immigration is a purely federal matter and it is in fact illegal for states to have immigration laws.

KeepFnThatChicken January 30, 2012 at 4:44 pm

if I can fist Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney, I'll make a donation to their PACs.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 9:09 pm

If I can give Santorum "the shocker," I'll….

oh, sorry. Gotta go vomit.

johnnyzhivago January 30, 2012 at 4:44 pm

What a bitch!

coolhandnuke January 30, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Jan Brewer:"We have rules and laws and things like that in this state and you landed your fancy plane on the runway, my runway, that has big old letters on it saying Whites Only. Did you read my book the book I wrote and did you…I wrote it and read it my book I did."

widestanceshakedown January 30, 2012 at 4:45 pm

And without her gnarly old digit held up, how else was a colored man to know how many years he had left?

prommie January 30, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I'm gonna invite these two kids to come over to my house and drink a beer with me on the patio. Then I will grab her arms and hold her while Barack pounds the shit out of her, which will take some doing, she is totally full of shit.

comrad_darkness January 30, 2012 at 4:48 pm

If he were an overlord, she'd be in gitmo now.

What a dumb, dissembling republican bitch. But I repeat myself.

ElPinche January 30, 2012 at 4:48 pm

That desiccated leather hate bag wasn't pointing her "finger, " she was absorbing moisture from the air.

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 5:21 pm

They pack Jan Brewer's corns and psoriasis flakes in shoe boxes and medicine bottles, as a preservative.

elviouslyqueer January 30, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Dear Jan:

Sorry for the misunderstanding, but I was having a hard time hearing you over all those dog whistles.

Regards,

President Barack Obama

prommie January 30, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Seems that the Insane Wing of the GOP have all adopted the methods of Buttmunch Douchebag Asswipe Fuckface James OKeefe in order to raise funds. They set up some kind of dramatic confrontation with the evil liberals or the Jackbooted Government Thugs, and then use the drama to solicit donations. See, also, Paul, Rand, and Paul, Doctor Ron, et al.

glamourdammerung January 30, 2012 at 8:43 pm

If only that "liberal media" would point this out.

James Michael Curley January 31, 2012 at 9:13 am

Don't forget Drama Queen Ru Paul.

DaRooster January 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm

"All that Jan Brewer deserves is a paper sack of dog poop on her desk every morning."

So Scorpions for Breakfast and Dog Poop for Lunch?

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Please make that a flaming paper sack of dog poop.

JohnyEdge January 30, 2012 at 5:29 pm

What's for dinner?

flamingpdog January 30, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Scorpion poop?

DaRooster January 31, 2012 at 9:05 am

Mexican… maybe 2.

widestanceshakedown January 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm

This is why I could never be president and have authority to launch drones.

SoBeach January 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Laugh it up, but remember: Gingrich pushed for impeachment and shut down the federal government because he thought Clinton dissed him on Air Force One.

Does B.O. really want to risk the wrath of the Governor of Arizona?

Sounds like she's already all kinds of mad about this. Maybe an apology is in order…

LetUsBray January 30, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Oh, sure, more of the prez apologizing to America's enemies.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 7:41 pm

SoBeach, I upfisted you before I read your comment.

If that comment is not 100% snark 'n' sarcasm, I take it back. And, also, GTFO.

Otherwise, carry on.

Dudleydidwrong January 30, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Maybe SoBeach is afraid that Arizona General Joe Arpaio wll launch is army of pink-pantied orcs on Washington.

ElPinche January 30, 2012 at 7:59 pm

B.O. shoulda kicked her in her dried up fossilized cunt. But instead, I think he'll probably apologize and the congressional dems will send her complimentary crates of weapons-grade Oil of Olay .

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I'm going way out on a limb here and guessing we won't see O apologizing to anymore Repugs until after the election. And hopefully not even then.

ElPinche January 30, 2012 at 8:18 pm

I hope, wish, pray….Maybe this confrontation with that old gila monster is final straw.

Biff January 30, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Oil of Ol' Lady, since hers has long since burned off.

fuflans January 31, 2012 at 1:59 am

the wrath of the Governor of Arizona?

wtf?

dude. totally harshed my 'shine a light' mellow

prommie January 30, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Beat on the brat, beat on the brat, beat on the brat with a baseball bat, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeahhhh.

I want to get a tattoo of Drinky Crow somewhere on my body, it would be my forst tattoo, but I am afraid this will be embarrassing if I die of cirhossis; any thoughts?

jus_wonderin January 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Prommie, can you describe the color of your skin? Preferable in the mode that Sherwin-Williams labels those paint chip samples.

prommie January 30, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Its number 438, "jaundiced cynic yellow."

jus_wonderin January 30, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Perfect. I'll take a quart. OK, a fifth.

actor212 January 30, 2012 at 5:03 pm

You could switch to pot.

prommie January 30, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Switch?

ttommyunger January 30, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Dead folk don't embarrass easily, go for it.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Dook dook dook!

emmelemm January 31, 2012 at 2:42 am

Man I love Drinky Crow.

DaRooster January 30, 2012 at 4:54 pm

“You have ONE more year…”

"… until your next term."

Joshua Norton January 30, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Hi there,

I really need some munies to buy back the state capitol that I sold off to a bunch of carpetbagging grifters.

Thx,

GunToting[Redacted] January 30, 2012 at 4:56 pm

If the secret service was really on top of things, Jan would be one of her beloved "headless bodies" out in the desert.

widestanceshakedown January 30, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I think her body would love to be free of that husk it has to carry around, just as her head would love finding a younger body to re-attach itself to.

actor212 January 30, 2012 at 4:56 pm

In fairness, she has a beautiful speaking voice.

For a shrew.

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm

The worst public speaking voice just has to be Off-the-Mark Levin.

I keep expecting him to burst out with "Aflac! AFLAC!"

Negropolis January 30, 2012 at 10:34 pm

She sounds like a chain-smoking Denny's waitress sans the charm.

jus_wonderin January 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm

She should have signed that missive….Cunt.

memzilla January 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm

If there's such a thing as "malpractice" insurance, Jan Brewer is why someone needs to invent "malgovernance" insurance.

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Or a taxpayer's policy to cover a governor's misfeasance, malfeasance, and nonfeasance.

Beowoof January 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Roll over and beg for a treat bitch.

actor212 January 30, 2012 at 5:02 pm

With a face like hers, she might be trained to do just that

meatlofer January 30, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Jan, can be a man's name also,you know.

MissTaken January 30, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Does anyone remember the name of Brewer's book? I don't think she's mentioned it in the last 2.5 seconds.

rickmaci January 30, 2012 at 5:04 pm

What else would you expect from the Grand Klaxonelle of Aryanzona?

Rotundo_ January 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Grand Klaxonelle sounds like a southern brand of toilet tissue.

rickmaci January 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

ROFLMAO.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Available only in white, of course.

Negropolis January 30, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I was thinking more a feminine hygiene product, but both sound about right.

CapnFatback January 30, 2012 at 5:05 pm

You gotta admire her spirit. Almost everyone believes that her Goat Boy was one of the worst-ever SNL characters, but there she was in full costume, performing for President Obama on the tarmac.

Indiepalin January 30, 2012 at 5:06 pm

LBJ would have kicked Brewer right in the nuts.

ph7 January 30, 2012 at 5:21 pm

After banging her in the coat closet…

ElPinche January 30, 2012 at 8:06 pm

When she had a vagina before it turned to stone .

MilwaukeeKent January 30, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Hell, he would have picked her up by her ears. http://thepoodleanddogblog.typepad.com/the_poodle

soeoho January 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Barack shoulda learned that Angela Merkel vulcan death grip from his predecessor. Sorry to bring W up but he was such a hoot !

RadioFetusEater January 30, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Is any one really sure she's not Rexella Van Impe?>

Rotundo_ January 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

She doesn't go all jezussy all the time, just when pandering. Rexella would be making the sale constantly.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I do feel sorry for that poor woman. A friend of mine calls her "Anorexella".

kissawookiee January 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Come ON, Jan; the proper syntax for that particular dog whistle is "BOY KING." Illiterate twat.

flamingpdog January 30, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Another dog whistle: "LYIN' KING".

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 7:13 pm

For those wingnuts self-aware enough to realize that calling a black man "boy" is clearly racist, the term "manchild" is substituted. So subtle. So clever.

It's one of Limbaugh's favorite terms for the President.

fuflans January 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm

jan, if bamz were acting like a king he would have invoked lese majeste and separated your pretty little head from your pretty little shoulders.

JUST like anne boleyn – only you have fewer fingers and zero kingly attractions.

WiscDad January 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I'll bet she didn't read The Audacity of Hope…cause she has the audacity of a dope

MarionNYNY January 30, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I guess vanity press authors are that desperate to promote their books since Amazon banned self-promotion on its forums.

Not_So_Much January 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Maybe now she can afford some emollients for her leathery hide?

40 or 50 % McShineys January 30, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Friends,

I need your help!

When I met President Obama this week, I really wasn’t pointing at him. I was trying to cast some mummy-based curse-magic on him. I hissed “Ognahssshokala!” The President needs to be reminded that he is the President of the FEDERAL REPUBLIC and not a SUN GOD MUMMY KING that has his own pyramid tomb and army of scarab beetles.

While I wanted to talk to him about jobs, our economy and visiting our border, my voicebox had been removed when I was interred in my tomb, along with my other organs. President Obama criticized my papyrus recipe scrolls, Scorpions for Breakfast, and then walked away from me.

Please send me money or fresh bandages, I am drying out!

anniegetyerfun January 30, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Well, now the image of Obama in one of those Egyptian loincloths is permanently lodged in my brain. Thank you.

No, really. Thank you.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Leave it up the fellow wonketters to provide fap-worthy images to balance out those of various GOP sexual practices.

starfanglednut January 31, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Yummmm!

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Oh, Ptah!

MadBrahms January 30, 2012 at 5:28 pm

She's hedging her bets, hoping that if the Great American Monarchy takes off she can get a position as court jester.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:38 pm

She's make a good poisoned-food tester, I think.

Guppy January 30, 2012 at 5:31 pm

What Jan Brewer deserves is Arizona.

Harry_S_Truman January 30, 2012 at 7:11 pm

And, near as I can tell, Arizona certainly deserves her.

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I missed the part of the video where Hellboy leaps from the top of Air Force One and pummels her back into that fissure from Hell.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Del Toro himself could not come up with a more monstrous creature. Brewer makes even the Pale Man look like the best baby-sitter.

jus_wonderin January 30, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I bet the bitch staged all of this for just this purpose. Call out Obama = money.

donner_froh January 30, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I am a loutish oaf with no self control. If you send me money I will spend is wisely.

GeorgiaBurning January 30, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I see you found my ex-roommate's letters to his parents.

flamingpdog January 30, 2012 at 5:50 pm

"We deserve results over rhetoric"

Jesus F. Christ, bitch, isn't the freaking lawsuit a mother-freakin' result??!?1? If Bammers didn't have any results, what the freak would you have to bitch about?

Oh, yeah, teh nigra.

BarackMyWorld January 30, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I was telling him, “You have ONE more year!”

Lying liar is lying.

BZ1 January 30, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Didn't the the Wicked Witch of the West go down with the house?

DahBoner January 30, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Obama should hit her across the face with a rolled-up newspaper…

BAD LIZARD! BAD! BAD!!!

fartknocker January 30, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Interesting photo array of GED Jan Brewer before she stuck her finger in the President's face. He's approaching in a dignified manner and this nasty old hag looks like she's monkey at the Phoenix zoo about to sling crap:
http://photoblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/26/1

Stay classy Jan. She's doing nothing but pandering to the old folks in Sun City and the Tea Tards. What she doesn't understand is her state is no longer a decent place to live. Under her leadership they are ranked in the bottom 10 states for education. The GOP just brought back former Senator Pearce (who was recalled by a 12 point margin) to serve as their number 2 person. The state electorate currently polling for Ron Paul.

Barry Goldwater would have bitch slapped her if he was alive.

anniegetyerfun January 30, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Wait, that photog has a Moose limb name!

Bluestatelibel January 30, 2012 at 7:25 pm

It looks like she's flirting with Obama, and then he says he wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole, and then she starts wagging her finger in his face, screeching at him they'll she get him and his dog Bo too.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Then she hopped on her broom to wrote "Surrender Obama" in the Arizona sky.

anteater January 30, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I beg your pardon but is "CUNT" too harsh?
It's Dutch for vagina ya'know.

chascates January 30, 2012 at 6:13 pm

The green night creme really removed her horrible wrinkles.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:48 pm

The green night creme really does wonders. I think I saw an ad for it in the latest issue of Vogue. It wouldn't surprise me if Wintour uses it.

Thurman Munster IV January 30, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I'm sure the trolls here from Red State see a perfectly normal picture of Jan Brewer with one of her flying monkeys.

tealsheart January 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm

How did you guess… She fills that paper sack of dog poop herself – from within, still she's full of it.

Antispandex January 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Well, as much as Frau Brewer (Blucher?), and the rest of the Teapublicans, seem to hate the bad ecomomy, it appears they hate the foreign folk worse. If they looked at the bright side they would see that the stinky economy is slowing (or even reversing in some areas) immigration to our little paradise. How big of a bitch do you have to be, when you should be seeing a little ray of sun shine in your hateful, sad , little life….but you just can't let go of that old bone.

BarackMyWorld January 30, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Off topic, but Joe Scarborough and Mika were on "Hardball" earlier, looking like a middle-aged married couple.

Beetagger January 30, 2012 at 7:55 pm

A middle-aged couple in which the husband killed an intern. Fixed.

Jukesgrrl January 30, 2012 at 8:07 pm

And did you hear him claiming neither of the Clintons voted for Obama. AS IF he knows them.

SudsMcKenzie January 30, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Powder blue Capri pants Mika?, you are not Betty Draper.

p.s. be careful, Joe gets a little "Killy" when he's in FL.

KeepFnThatChicken January 31, 2012 at 9:22 am

…so they weren't having sex…?

tealsheart January 30, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Wow, another angry republican, attempting to make money off the blk man. Not suprised how she lies.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Contact Governor Leatherface:

Phoenix Office: (602) 542-4331
Tucson Office: (520) 628-6580
1-800-253-0883 (outside Maricopa County only)

In addition to a few well chosen words about her behavior, I mentioned that I would be boycotting products and services from Arizona, and refusing to travel there for any reason until voters there had "put her on the trash heap of history."

Barb January 30, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Thanks for the contact information. I sent a nasty e-mail to her and it bounced right back. I have a feeling that for the first time in her long life her box is full.

MinAgain January 30, 2012 at 6:30 pm

She just hasn't been the same since someone dropped a house on her sister.

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:50 pm

That was bad enough, but they stole her sister's shoes, too!

Biel_ze_Bubba January 31, 2012 at 8:16 am

To be fair … those shoes were to die for.

Loaded_Pants January 31, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Red & sparkly. Who could possibly resist?

Dashboard Buddha January 30, 2012 at 6:36 pm

It's never been more true…You can't spell CRAZY without AZ.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Y'all are such newshounds you probably know all of this already, BUT –

Fun Facts about Jan Brewer:

She is known around the Statehouse as "Governor Glug Glug" as well as "Otis" in memory of Mayberry's town drunk.

Ironically, her maiden name is "Drinkwine".

Her son, Ronald, kidnapped and raped a women at knifepoint in 1989. He was deemed criminally insane and confined to the Arizona State Hospital, although he periodically tries to regain his freedom.

She claimed "…my father died fighting the Nazi regime in Germany." In fact, her father never served in combat, and was never even in the military. He died in 1955 in California. When reporters confronted her with the facts, she responded, "You're trying to make a liar out of me."

She claimed, "Our law enforcement agencies have found bodies in the desert either buried or just lying out there that have been beheaded."

Arizona law enforcement agencies and medical examiners in Arizona's border counties said they had never seen an immigration-related beheading. She repeatedly doubled down on that lie for four months, before admitting, “That was an error, if I said that.”

And, of course, the two mayors who were present at her encounter with President Obama, one Republican and one Democrat, flatly contradict her account of the President's behavior.

Republican Mayor Scott Smith of Mesa said he was standing right next to the governor when the exchange took place and Obama didn’t seem to be in any kind of hurry to leave. Smith said the president stayed and had a pleasant conversation with him and Phoenix Mayor Greg Stanton. It was “just the four of us,” Smith said. “Mayor Stanton and I had a decent talk with him.”

Phoenix Mayor Greg Stanton, Democrat, said Obama seemed calm the whole time.
“He wasn’t tense at all,” Stanton said on Friday. “The guy’s a pro.”

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Wow, Thanks: I didn't know a quarter of that stuff. Very entertaining, and practical too. F'r instance, from the fact that Arizonans elected her, I realized that a majority of them must be xenophobic born-again Christian meth addicts, and so I decided never to go there. But now that I know this about Jan "Yeastie" Brewer, I'll never pass through a state that borders Arizona either. Or take a flight that passes through their airspace. I wonder if it's possible to make sure that I never use electricity that has been transmitted through a wire that passes through Arizona?

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 7:53 pm

TPM got the quotes from the mayors days ago. You'll notice their quotes haven't shown up in a single report from any other news source.

If you noticed my other post with contact info for Governor Lying-ass Hag, I called two offices and emailed that I was boycotting all things Arizonian until she was out of office.

comrad_darkness January 31, 2012 at 10:22 am

don't forget online services like godaddy in your boycott.

RavenRant January 31, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I made the mistake of signing up with godaddy for a BRILLIANT website that has yet to be created. Then I saw their 'All women are whores' ads, the CEO's despicable antics and so forth. I didn't even know they were from AZ. It figures.

Jukesgrrl and her allies are the only redeeming features of the state. And the Grand Canyon is pretty cool, too.

I will be switching to another hosting service and, hopefully, finally get the website off the ground. Build the dang website!

Jukesgrrl January 30, 2012 at 8:21 pm

And in other news, Phoenix's new Democratic Mayor Greg Stanton very impressive. Within two weeks of his Jan. 3 inauguration he had an experienced staff up and running and he's got a strong commitment to diversity and growth in America's fifth-largest city. Here's his inaugural address, if anyone's interested in knowing everything in Arizona is not run by Republicans. http://phoenix.gov/news/mayor/010312stantonspeech

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Thanks for the link. Maybe he can spearhead a gubernatorial recall. 2014 is a long ways away.

Jukesgrrl January 30, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Not worth the money.She's just a scarecrow.The problem is the voices in her head (i.e. the leaders of the state GOP) and the state reps they manage to get elected.If we could “clean house” (literally), Jan would just drink away the rest of her term.But that will be hard as long as Mesa and Gilbert are filled with Evangelicals and Mormons and Scottsdale is chock-a-block with Richie Riches.

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Hey Jukesgrrl, – I was just about to write "this shows Arizonans are xenophobic born-again Christian meth addicts" and then I remembered you and other reasonable, non-xenophobic, born-just-once non-fundamentalist, non-meth addict* Arizonans, and I stuck in the "a majority of". Keep fighting the good fight.

(*Well, I guess I have no direct evidence that you're not a meth addict, but I'm going out on a limb)

Jukesgrrl January 30, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Not a meth addict but I went to college when the moon was in the seventh house and Jupiter aligned with Mars, so draw your own conclusions.Peace.

Chet Kincaid January 31, 2012 at 8:32 am

OMG, Jan "Yeastie" Brewer!!

Midway117 January 30, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Can't see a pic of her without the phrase "colder than a witch's tit" going through my head. Which is funny, because it's warm in AZ.

Harry_S_Truman January 30, 2012 at 7:14 pm

The only results she was interested in was making a nice big showing to increase the sales of her book; you know, the one someone else wrote for her.

Blueb4sunrise January 30, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Can we PLEASE move past this old Arizona crazy shit onto the LATEST Arizona crazy shit.
Ethnic Studies banned while religious studies are promoted in Tucson

If students aren’t taught those references, Proud said, they face a learning gap from high school to college.

Will teach the Quran and Gita and Native American Religion as well.
Wait, what?
http://tucsoncitizen.com/arizona-unapologetic-lib

BarackMyWorld January 30, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Oh, this confrontation isn't as sensational, but a little more fun:
Ashleigh Banfield vs. David Vitter on CNN.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 8:00 pm

About freaking time. And non-criminal, non-adulterer Anthony Weiner was hounded 24 hours a day for weeks until he resigned.

Actually, I think she went easy on this creep. But tougher than anyone else has ever been.

Too bad the word 'diaper' was not mentioned.

ElPinche January 30, 2012 at 8:15 pm

"This segment is brought to you by Huggies."

Bluestatelibel January 30, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I'm still astonished this guy managed to get re-elected. But good on Ashleigh.

sunmusing January 30, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Now com'on all….Jan just needs a good old fashioned Great American Fuck. Ya know, the multi-orgasmic type so beloved of most Women of stature. Not that I would volunteer mind you, there must be some one…..anyone? anyone?

SudsMcKenzie January 30, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Send in a Drone.

Barrelhse January 30, 2012 at 11:40 pm

I got a girl here with a cup, says she'll go over.

OldRedneck January 30, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Here's a finger for you, Governor:
http://www.amishrakefight.org/gfy/

Jukesgrrl January 30, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Jan's never done anything in her life that someone else didn't plan, so it's more than likely this stunt was instigated by her publisher. And it worked. Her book immediately shot up into Amazon's top 50. It's still overshadowed though by Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence. And in the "People who bought this also bought" category, the answers are Mark Levin and Bill O'Reilly's most recent tomes.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 31, 2012 at 8:22 am

And the four nutbags who gaver her 5 stars have been joined by hundred of fresh reviewers. With predictable results.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 8:39 pm

God, is it time for another winger lecture on how THISISACONSTITUTIONALREPUBLICNOTADEMOCRACY!!!1!!?

Sometimes I think these folks object to "democracy" because that implies that the wrong kind of people are allowed to vote. Nahh…that would be paranoid, wouldn't it?

glamourdammerung January 30, 2012 at 8:41 pm

If only Democrats had the "audacity" to kill off federal funding for those welfare queen states.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Did anyone else point out that she's given about forty interviews since this 'incident', with forty ever-mutating versions of what the president said and did, and NOT ONCE did this particular fabrication, (ONE MORE YEAR), or anything remotely resembling it, surface?

Republican politicians don't care if they are caught in lies, because Republican voters don't mind that they are being lied to. Lie, lie, deny, deny, deflect, distract – it's bone deep with them.

MilwaukeeKent January 30, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Once GOP voters hear what they want to hear, facts don't mean shit. Affirm their prejudice and you have their vote.

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 9:42 pm

That what I found hardest to get used to when I first arrived here during the Reagan years. He would say things that anyone with more than simple brainstem functions could see were lies, shamelessly, and none of his supporters gave a damn. And it's just gotten worse since then. I've gotten accustomed to it, in the sense that I am no longer surprised, but I gotta say it still makes me dizzy when I think about it.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Why our so-called liberal media are so weak and accommodating to the lies is a whole other reason to get dizzy.

Chichikovovich January 31, 2012 at 7:16 am

Yes, I don't want to forget that either. Two moments I still remember vividly, after all these years:

a) One or two days after I arrived there was an election in Spain – the Socialist party was elected for the first time. Some Reagan foreign policy goblin published an op-ed in the “liberal New York Times" excoriating the Spanish people for rejecting "democracy and freedom". I was absolutely stunned – no joke, I had one of those moments where you so completely fail to believe what you are reading that your mind goes simply blank for a second, with a cacophony of disbelieving thoughts bumping into one another and cancelling themselves out – that a high official in the foreign policy branch of the government would not understand the difference between a system for choosing a government, like democracy, and a system that a government – freely elected or not – could use to have some small influence on the distribution of wealth in society. Also, having worked in Denmark some years before, I knew damn well that the suggestion that there was anything incompatible between social democracy and freedom was preposterous. I was, in addition, speechless that the New York Times, which I had been told was regarded as a beacon of journalistic excellence and left-leaning thought [I had a lot to learn] would let such tripe soil its pages.

b) About a year later, TV debate on Nicaragua, on CNN, between talking rodent Elliott Abrams, recently promoted from his position as State Department undersecretary for human rights and some well-intentioned but befuddled minister clearly unaccustomed to aggressive debate and on live national TV for the first time. [No joke. Human Rights. Carter had established the office, and Reagan's people realized it would be a public relations misstep to just flatly shut it down. So in true Reagan/Bush II fashion, they just appointed to run the place someone hostile to the entire mission.]

Chichikovna was, at the time, working for the Costa Rica office of a prominent do-gooder organization, with Nicaragua, Honduras and El Salvador as the territories she was responsible for. So I had first-hand information about what things were really like in the Reagan-supported "fledgling democracies" (= blood soaked military régimes) of El Salvador and Honduras and the Reagan-hated "Communist dictatorship" (= redistributive government, not yet democratically elected but soon would be, under attack by CIA organized and supported Contras to the East, South and North.) Decent and honest but hopless debater of the cloth compares the absence of major street protests against the Sandinistas with enormous popular street protests in the Philippines against US – supported Ferdinand Marcos. Abrams replies contemptuously, with the same terrier-on-speed-shaking-a-captured-weasel aggression he's displayed from the start: "Well, that's because if you protest in Nicaragua they take you out and kill you. Nobody kills you for protesting in the Philippines."

Concerning Nicaragua, this was of course bullshit, but it was a piece of bullshit that the US media had clearly, en bloc tacitly agreed to leave unchallenged. The true journalistic malpractice was that this was little more than a year after former Philippino Senator and provincial Governor, leader of the Anti-Marcos opposition Benigo Aquino had been shot down in cold blood while stepping off of the airplane that was returning him from exile. (Since the return of Aquino from exile was front-page news in the Philippines, and in fact around the world, there were a dozen TV cameras and news photographers there to film/photo the brazen killing. The result was headline news everywhere in the world, and the killing – being an on-camera killing, after all – got saturation coverage even in the US.) Decent but over-his-head minister spluttered ineffectually, head gone apparently blank from the pressure of a live TV camera, but unbelievably, the “professional journalist" moderator didn't mention Aquino at all, even though the woman who was made a widow by the killing was leading – in a very high-profile way – the soon-to-be successful opposition and it was well known that it was the Marcos-ordered killing of her husband that had put her in that place to begin with.

In the intervening 25 years the media have, of course, gotten even worse, as you note.

RavenRant January 31, 2012 at 4:51 pm

And we recently backed another military coup over a democratically elected government in Honduras, and helped a former member of the Tonton Macoutes gain power in Haiti.

And Baby Doc Duvalier is on hand to advise him.

Fucking fuck.

Terry January 30, 2012 at 8:59 pm

It always comes down to money for these folks.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Money and hate. It's no fun without the hate.

DustBowlBlues January 30, 2012 at 9:09 pm

So true. I wonder what it takes to push the country to the extreme right the way the so-called Republican Elites have managed to do to this country. How do the keep the morans as angry as they always seem to be.

What happened to these people? I thought the Viet Nam War polarized the country into two groups, with one side never talking to the other, but looks like a little skirmish compared to the current mess.

Who's to blame? What's to blame? Aliens who podded Repubtards?

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 9:20 pm

That was pretty much where it started, but other issues such as the Civil Rights movement, feminism, youthful rebellion in general (which was primarily among the "elitist" college kids) and anger at the sexual revolution were twisted in with Vietnam to divide America and create some very angry backwards people.

First Ronald Reagan in California, then Richard Nixon nationally, perfected appealing to the bitter white men's resentments of the gains made by black people and women and the changing culture to get votes while stoking that hatred in those times, then Reagan did so again in 1980 and we got the Moral Majority, the rise of far-right talk radio and later Fox News to create a permanent class of very angry ultra-conservative white people.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Given the subject of this post, don't forget Bitter White Women and their resentments.

Women, in general, tend to be more liberal then men, but there's a small core of vicious Phyllis Schlaffly wannabes in the country. Palin, Bachman, Angle, Brewer.

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Oh yeah; and they are especially angry about other women and want to tramp down on their rights. There's been a long parade women who professionally hate women in the GOP.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Yeah, they don't actually want to dummy up and stay in the kitchen themselves, that's for all the other bitches.

The worst enemy of a feminist woman is the bitch who wants to be 'the only girl in the boys club.'

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 30, 2012 at 10:25 pm

On that theme, Sorosbot, let me once again recommend Rick Perlstein's excellent Nixonland: The Rise of a President and the Fracturing of America. (Review by George Will, of all people…sheesh…screw that, how about Perlstein on Fresh Air instead?)

rocktonsam January 30, 2012 at 9:36 pm

i bet both their breath smelled like cigarettes

Huevos Ocupados January 30, 2012 at 9:42 pm

You know who else was batshit crazy and wrote a right wing screed?

Designer_Rants January 30, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I assume AZ's Anus has an itch that can only be scratched by poking its tanned-leather skin-tags toward a decent person's face and farting out a wretched cloud of Birther hisses?

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I like your style, rant-wise.

Designer_Rants January 30, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Thanks, fellow Ranter!

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 10:01 pm

That pic just shows what is great about America: Two people of color can meet on the tarmac & have a civilized exchange & that the POTUS is actually willing to listen a fellow American, no matter how fucking insane they are. USA!

ttommyunger January 30, 2012 at 10:02 pm

The look on Barry's face is priceless: "You are one ugly, ignorant cunt, lady."

tealsheart January 31, 2012 at 8:56 am

He said, as he looked at the big azz mole on the tip of her nose.
Eeeewwww

ttommyunger January 31, 2012 at 12:14 pm

On the bright side, it did match the rest of her puss.

Biff January 31, 2012 at 12:17 pm

dude……..

ttommyunger January 31, 2012 at 12:32 pm

That's “Dood”, to you, Sir!

Negropolis January 30, 2012 at 10:03 pm

This is right out of the Palin Playbook.

Fuck off, you Gila skank monster, and your little dog, too.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Leatherface is going to have a very hard time playing the Palin role. She only got the attention she did because she gave certain aging Repugs, and certain perverse Wonketteers, a chubby.

I don't think there is anyone perverse enough to be aroused by Governer Lies-a-Lot. And if there is, please don't tell me. And absolutely NO PIX!

Biel_ze_Bubba January 31, 2012 at 10:14 am

That really should be the alt-text:

"And your little dog, too!"

chascates January 30, 2012 at 10:09 pm

I made you a cookie but I eated it.

sshaver January 30, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Love the green nose!

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 10:16 pm

And another thing – Barry has had four years of being called a Sekrit Muslin, Mau Mau Kenyan Anticolonialist, Un-American, Anti-American, Alien, weak, cowardly, worse than Stalin, worse than Hitler, traitor, terrorist, monkey, n****r, the fucking ANTICHRIST, his wife and children have been insulted and threatened, he's been threatened repeatedly with assassination…

And this senile crone wants us to believe he pissed down his leg and lost his shit over being called PATRONIZING!?! Fer fuck's sake. Thin-skinned, my ass.

Negropolis January 30, 2012 at 10:17 pm

What really bothers me about this habitual disrespect of the president is that I can not imagine a single Democratic governor who would have done shit like this to Dubya, who was at least as deserving of a public finger-wagging – and oh so much more – as this president. But, what bothers me just as much is that the president hasn't seemed to figure out how to respond to this disrespect of the office outside of silence, which doesn't quash this bullshit, and only lets it fester.

Beyond being worried about the president being disrespected, if I'm to be honest, I'm much more concerned about the people, usually of my hue, that have to put up with this crap day-to-day, and for the president to sit back and take it only justifies and solidifies in their own mind how they treat regular people in this society on a daily basis. Someone has to say "enough!", already. I don't know who that will be, but I know that person is needed, because this symbolic disrespecting trickles down to people of means much less able to defend against this onslaught.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Samuel L. Jackson?

Or maybe Shaq could be deployed to walk up and put a massive hand on the offender's shoulder, and say, "Uncool" while squeezing just hard enough to make them crumple in a twitching heap.

SudsMcKenzie January 30, 2012 at 10:54 pm

"sit back and take it only justifies and solidifies in their own mind how they treat regular people in this society on a daily basis."

Word

I have two "Hopes",

1. He's taking this like Andy Dufresne in Shawshank for a long game.
2. The joy I will experience watching those fucks heads explode when he gets four more years, not having to pander for another election in his life, and possibly in 2014 getting the House back.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 31, 2012 at 12:08 am

Some guy in Britain made a TV mockumentary about Bush being assassinated. Even though A) it aired near the end of Bush's presidency, B) it didn't advocate assassination–it openly criticized people who thought political killing is justified, and C) virtually nobody saw it (it barely got any US release and it grossed under a million dollars worldwide), the mere fact of its existence justifies any vileness that the R's can heap on Obama.

Oh, yeah, and there are photos of at least 10-15 homemade signs at antiwar demonstrations wishing for Bush's death. Clearly equivalent to elected officials wagging their fingers at Obama.

Also, it's unspeakably racist for you to suggest that opposition to this Kenyan Mau-Mau communist has anything to do with the color of his skin.

Bluestatelibel January 31, 2012 at 8:01 am

That's the first thing I thought, there'd be plenty of flipping out if someone had done this to Dubya. This woman is really shameful in her disrespect of the president.

On the other hand, Obama handles it all with such class, as seen in the photo. He has never made a fool of himself, and he handles himself with such grace, it will long be remembered.

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 8:21 am

Will it long be remembered? That's where my skepticism comes in. You know, folks like us calmly look at this, and pity the long-suffering president, but it doesn't exactly rally the troops. On the other end, this shit is like cat nip to the wingnuts. They get fundraising out of this and laughes and whatever else they get perversely out of this.

I guess my frustration stems from the fact that I'm coming to the belief they get WAY more out of him not reacting to them than we get out of the calm-cool-collected routine he does. Everytime this shit happens, their fundraising goes through the roof for a day, at least.

Bluestatelibel January 31, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I still see Obama being re-elected (confession: I'm a poli sci nerd), all the signs seem to point it. Yes, the 25% rightwing nutjobs get a kick out of this, but it's the moderate voters who will count. It's doesn' matter to them that Obama is blah, they don't hate him, or get off on people like Brewer. And it couldn't have been a worse time for the GOPeers to run a 1 percenter like Romney, not an arrogant, out-of-touch one like Romney. I'd be very surprised if Hopey doesn't win again.

SudsMcKenzie January 30, 2012 at 10:53 pm

If Hopey "intimidated" her, MLK would have had her running into the desert screaming.

Barrelhse January 30, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Jan "Don't call me 'mummy'" Brewer? I really don't want to criticize her looks. I have no intention of mentioning what she looks like, or resembles, or anything mean like that, about her so-called "looks". If that's what she wants to call them. Not a peep out of me about her skin (Dermatologists HATE her!) or her hair because, well, I'm above all that- making fun of her frightening fucking face, I mean.
Her ugly mind, though, is fair game.

Barrelhse January 30, 2012 at 11:47 pm

What's green and smells like Miss Piggy?

tealsheart January 31, 2012 at 9:01 am

kermit, after fucking her?

Naw, missPiggy is sweet compared to this piece of azz

fuflans January 31, 2012 at 1:13 am

gross.

lulzmonger January 31, 2012 at 3:21 am

Shorter Jan Brewer: "Forty bucks, same as in town."

RavenRant January 31, 2012 at 4:02 am

Pleez. She couldn't earn a nickel to save her life in that field. Not nowhere, not nohow.

Chichikovovich January 31, 2012 at 7:48 am

Well, as the internet is revealing to an astonished world, there appear to be super-specific fetishes of all bizarre kinds, that [Miracle of free enterprise! Magic of the marketplace!] have whole websites devoted to them. So when one of your kids clicks on the wrong link, and then comes to ask you "Daddy, what does "SMPSASWASTP" stand for?" and you look it up to learn that there is apparently a market for Six Month Pregnant South Asian in Stockings with Wombat (Also in Stockings) Tentacle Porn.

So perhaps there are Cantankerous Withered Old Crone (CWOC) fetishists out there who would pay top dollar for a live show.

Poindexter718 January 31, 2012 at 6:09 am

"I'll get you, my prexy, and your snarky blog too!"

Redhead January 31, 2012 at 7:16 am

So… Jan Brewer's opening rhetoric is okay, because she planned to get to real results later (she's white), but Obama's opening bitchslap (rhetoric) wasn't okay because he walked away instead of standing there and arguing (he's black)? Is that basically it?

Chichikovovich January 31, 2012 at 7:50 am

Brewer forgot to mention the Black Panthers with truncheons standing just outside the camera range.

finallyhappy January 31, 2012 at 8:18 am

I am so tired of people(racists) saying racism isn't an issue here anymore. You have the "nice" people who say " we don't want to talk about that anymore- it isn't necessary" and the open racists(really- at least they are honest)- who say "It is their(blacks/latinos) own fault". Racism never left this country(bullshit to anyone who says it did) and the airing of racist views has become "acceptable" because of the GOP and media who pander to them.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 31, 2012 at 9:36 am

There's no racism anymore. It's a fact. That crowd in Sarasota that responded to Gingrich's "Send Obama back to Chicago" by chanting "Kenya! Kenya! Kenya!" was simply talking about geography, not race.

It's also not news that the incident wasn't bigger news.

tealsheart January 31, 2012 at 8:55 am

Last name Brewer!
Matches the picture, as in witches brew.
No disrespect to witches

Biel_ze_Bubba January 31, 2012 at 9:11 am

Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,–
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

I think she may have overdone the "eye of newt" in this latest batch of poison.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 31, 2012 at 9:09 am

OT, but this week's New Yorker cover is a hoot.

chascates January 31, 2012 at 11:04 am

I'd like to see the nomination contest fought out in the ring. To the death.

thefrontpage January 31, 2012 at 9:50 am

Hi, this is Emanuel Pedro Martinez, and I am the official Doctor and Physician to the Governor for the state government of Arizona. I have now completed my official monthly mental and physical examination of Jan Brewer, somehow the current governor of the state of Arizona. Skipping several pages of details, I'll get right to my main summarization of Brewer regarding her current mental health status, as quoted from my official medical report: "Jan Brewer, as of January, 2012, continues to exhibit dangerously high levels of insanity. It is my conclusion that she is delusional, insane, psycho, and in dire need of continue mental health care, including generous supplies of medication."

Chichikovovich January 31, 2012 at 10:16 am

Tell me, Dr. Martinez: is she loco?

RavenRant January 31, 2012 at 4:39 pm

She can check into the state mental hospital, right next to her criminally insane, rapist son.

comrad_darkness January 31, 2012 at 10:21 am

It's now 10:20am… Wonkette has been forcing me to be productive in the morning. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

freakishlywrong January 31, 2012 at 10:24 am

Ditto, conrad. Ditto.

jus_wonderin January 31, 2012 at 10:36 am

I bet Wonkette is storing up all the delicious snarkables to dish them out nearer to lunchtime.

SorosBot January 31, 2012 at 10:49 am

I know, here I've been up since seven and still nothing new to comment on.

Blueb4sunrise January 31, 2012 at 10:37 am

They usually dead-thread me when I log in so there's hope.
Wisconsin Recall in the meantime. Changed camera angle or room . It's disorienting. Possibly a Fellini influence.
http://mirrors.5nines.com/stream/

SorosBot January 31, 2012 at 10:51 am

It's strangely hypnotic, isn't it? And that bald guy looks a lot like my boss.

Blueb4sunrise January 31, 2012 at 11:01 am

CHEEZ IT!! IT"S TEH COPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

One woman wearing Uggs too I think.

Blueb4sunrise January 31, 2012 at 11:07 am

Boss is moonlighting?

lulzmonger January 31, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Every time I think I'm finally free, they suck me back in … or someone posts the link -same diff.

DaRooster January 31, 2012 at 10:46 am

Barry's response-
"Look, I told you no. I am not going to feed you my cock. Jesus woman."

Dashboard Buddha January 31, 2012 at 11:03 am

We are wandering through a thirsty land. Our souls seek the quench of snark.

(seriously…nothing new so far today?)

comrad_darkness January 31, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Our souls seek the quench of snark. I hope you don't mind if I steal this.

Dashboard Buddha January 31, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I'd be honored.

Mumbletypeg January 31, 2012 at 11:06 am

O/T but worthwhile reading for tangentially related content and a priceless quote.

The attorney general of Virginia and a few state lawmakers & mayor-types from both VA and MD are gearing up for a "Rat Summit" (washingtonexaminer.com's words) to address the overflow of D.C.'s rat population into neighboring states, to the point where representative Mike McDonough fears:

"The rats multiply at astronomical rates and the rodents who have crossed the border into Maryland must be made illegal because they can produce large numbers of anchor babies…"

– so the news release from McDonough's office says.

chascates January 31, 2012 at 11:15 am

I've seen many of these reports 'coupled' with the Occupy DC protests. QED.

weej_bain January 31, 2012 at 11:27 am

Miguelito Ratoncito's minions no doubt. Fucking Disney.

CapnFatback January 31, 2012 at 11:30 am

They just released an image of one of the offending vermin.

freakishlywrong January 31, 2012 at 11:10 am

Are we not baby birds, wanting our worm? Ken will have to shamble in from where ever the fuck he is out in the desert somewhere, and whip it out.

chascates January 31, 2012 at 11:10 am

I've sent in tips both witty and wise,
yet no posts do I see with my eyes.

Are the editors still asleep in their beds?
Gaining rest for the day's work ahead?

Tonight's contest might finally decide
which of the GOP hopefuls we can deride.

(With apologies to Lionel Hutz redacted who does much better poetry.)

James Michael Curley January 31, 2012 at 11:13 am

We are all in their dream. No way i would fantasize a group of republican candidates such as we have all been seeing. Somebody give Layne 'the kick' so we can get on to the real Presidential Election.

Phil_SF January 31, 2012 at 11:32 am

All kidding aside, is this even compliant with FEC rules? It's signed by Jan but claims to be an independent PAC. Any election law experts out there?

Biel_ze_Bubba January 31, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I appreciate the vagaries of events scattered randomly in time, but surely it defies all odds that we could go this long without a Republican doing something stupid and/or loathsome. I know for a fact they haven't yet exhausted the vast reservoirs of fuctardedness available in this country.

Biff January 31, 2012 at 12:15 pm

To sum it up, bitch be trippin'.

sezme January 30, 2012 at 4:42 pm

He should thank his lucky stars he didn't pull that finger.

jus_wonderin January 30, 2012 at 4:44 pm

As a suppository.

GOPCrusher January 30, 2012 at 5:50 pm

She should thank her lucky stars that the Secret Service didn't take her to the tarmac and tazered her until she was laying, quivering, in a pool of her own piss.

Gunner Asch January 30, 2012 at 4:44 pm

That was in the first poem I ever learned:

Alas for little Willy
We'll see him no more
For what he thought was H20
Was H2SO4

Rotundo_ January 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

When you shine a black light in the bowl does it glow like scorps do when they're shined with it?

Loaded_Pants January 30, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Scorpions keep Brewer regular? Those stingers must burn coming out.

flamingpdog January 30, 2012 at 5:35 pm

If you ever go to lunch with a friend and he/she asks for a glass of H20, don't ask for a glass of H20too.

Steverino247 January 30, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Unless you need some disinfectant, of course.

Biff January 30, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Now I'm picturing that written in blood on Brewer's chest.

Thanks a lot.

RavenRant January 30, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Hang tough! Hope you have some kindred spirits around you to laugh with.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 31, 2012 at 12:20 am

Wonkette is a luv / hāt kind of place, I know.

Jukesgrrl January 31, 2012 at 4:13 am
Chichikovovich January 31, 2012 at 7:29 am

Hey, I've heard about that time! Wasn't that when peace guided the planets and love steered the stars?

Wow. So jealous. All that harmony and understanding. And don't forget the sympathy and trust abounding. No more falsehoods or derisions. golden living dreams of visions, mystic crystal revelation. [I have no idea what that is, but it's got to be good, right?] And the mind's true liberation?

'Course, it wouldn't have been all sunshine and bongs. I assume "derisions" was chosen because "snark" wouldn't rhyme. And I would miss that.

BaldarTFlagass January 31, 2012 at 8:27 am

"Come on ice cream!!!"

Blueb4sunrise January 31, 2012 at 11:07 am

Dammit, lost some coffee through the nose.

BaldarTFlagass January 31, 2012 at 11:23 am

Really. If this is Sunday, why the fuck am I at work, and even more mystifying, why the hell is everyone else here too?

Blueb4sunrise January 31, 2012 at 11:34 am

Grey boots with little ponytail. YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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