ONE VERY SMALL STEP FOR LEGO MAN  11:35 am January 30, 2012

Canada (Two Teenagers + Lego Man) Takes Over American Space Program

by Ken Layne

Things have not been going so well for America’s space program. We had a sad when we read about how the Obama Administration basically told Barack he could not have any exciting or inspirational “moon shot” programs, because everything had to go to Wall Street (heh heh). So not only did “moon shot”-style inspirational programs such as the “national smart energy grid” or whatever get killed, but the actual NASA program to send people to the Moon and to Mars got killed. Granted, those programs were giant boondoggles and probably never would’ve sent anyone anywhere, except to federal prison for bribery, but …. And now two Canadian kids have sent a (Lego) man into space, for about $400.

The clever kids put their Lego man holding a Canadian flag on a little Lego gangplank attached to a cheap weather balloon, and soon history was made:

The mission was the result of the hard work and ingenuity of friends Mathew Ho and Asad Muhammad, who worked on their project during free time on weekends. It took them four months to complete and cost just $400.

The space-bound contraption the two 17-year-olds came up with comprised an $85 weather balloon, a homemade parachute, a Styrofoam box, three point-and-shoot cameras, a wide-angle video camera, and a cell phone loaded with a GPS app so they’d be able to find the thing when it (hopefully) returned to Earth.

The Lego hero actually went to space! And then he landed in his Space Ship about 75 miles away, and the teens stole a car or whatever — took public transportation, we bet! Oh Canada! — and picked up their contraption. Now they are heroes, and Newt Gingrich is down in Florida trying to turn the Kennedy Space Center into the Newt Gingrich Historical Whore Diamond Moonraker Adultery Space Motel. [Digital Trends]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 191 comments }

Barb January 30, 2012 at 11:37 am

I'm not speaking to Canada until they stop calling us "upper Mexicans"

jus_wonderin January 30, 2012 at 11:41 am

They continue to call me to ask if I have Prince Albert in the can. Jokesters.

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 11:48 am

jw:

Is your refrigerator running?

Lascauxcaveman January 30, 2012 at 11:44 am

You know how we yanks dispargingly call Canada "America's Hat?" They have all kinds of funny names for the US; "Canada's ________."

Barb January 30, 2012 at 11:49 am

"Gretzky-snatchers?" We got him!

JustPixelz January 30, 2012 at 11:52 am

"Canada's … big fat ass"?

I guess that makes Alaska "Canada's other big fat ass".

chascates January 30, 2012 at 11:55 am

AKA 'Sarah's Folly'.

bagofmice January 30, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Oh my god Becky…

Barb January 30, 2012 at 12:33 pm

She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.

Guppy January 30, 2012 at 12:02 pm

It's "Alta Mexico!" Don't they know English in Canada?

TanzbodenKoenig January 30, 2012 at 12:11 pm

or "US Americans," I fucking hate that were just goddam Americans alright we called it like 200 years ago, US American sounds smarmy and dumb just like everything else Canadians say

Barb January 30, 2012 at 12:34 pm

I shouldn't make fun of Canada. My husband has a job opportunity there and I don't want them to kick my ass back to the U.S.

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Get out while you can!!

WunkRocker January 30, 2012 at 12:41 pm

"Newt Gingrich Historical Whore Diamond Moonraker Adultery Space Motel" -So full of win that the sun wouldst melt the wax and make the wings fail. /Icarus

Beowoof January 30, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Lucky you with all that socialist health care and stuff. I wish I had way out of here. Too old to emigrate.

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 12:43 pm

People started saying that instead of just "Americans" after I came to the 'States. If I had still been living there I would have stopped everybody from saying it. On the grounds of it being stupid.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 30, 2012 at 2:25 pm

It all right, just refer to them as "Snow Mexicans."

TanzbodenKoenig January 30, 2012 at 2:56 pm

i prefer mapleback myself

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 12:36 am

They're called Frostbacks, my friend.

nounverb911 January 30, 2012 at 11:37 am

Too bad they didn't launch Newt.

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 11:49 am

nvb911:

That couldn't be done with a weather balloon. It would take at least a blimp – if not a Zepplin.

nounverb911 January 30, 2012 at 11:51 am

The Hindenburg?

MOG2410 January 30, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Oh the humanity. Or not.

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 7:29 pm

What's the difference between Russ Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?

One is a bloated Nazi gasbag.

The other is a dirigible.

memzilla January 30, 2012 at 11:54 am

I'd like to see that accomplished with the well-known Diet Coke and Mentos launch system.

soeoho January 30, 2012 at 12:40 pm

It seems the physics of thermal ambience (hot air) has been overlooked. He'd be well into the stratosphere with a physically lofty gain plus the collateral benefits of a reduction of global warming and Gingrichouse-gasses..

Beowoof January 30, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Another job for a heavy payload Saturn V.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 30, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Even the Saturn V isn't big enough to lift Newt to the heavens. I say we dig out some of our old nuclear bombs and see if a series of explosions will do it. I'm sure Newt will be happy to ride on top, given his interest in space.

chascates January 30, 2012 at 11:38 am

I blame Canada for everything. Having better healthcare, more enlightened cannabis laws, not trying to run the world, and having so little gun violence.

RedneckMuslin January 30, 2012 at 11:48 am

And a low cost space program. They'll probably take our jerbs and start sending our astros to the space station. Well, actually, taking Russian jerbs.

JustPixelz January 30, 2012 at 11:55 am

I KNOW! When the Repubicans say Obama wants to make America like Europe, I say "bring it on". They live longer, have less crime, lower abortion rate (hear that Ricky S.), and whole place is like a great big Epcot.

Rotundo_ January 30, 2012 at 12:25 pm

You didn't even bring up food or television quality or cars or……

MOG2410 January 30, 2012 at 12:58 pm

or working 40 hours a week, instead of 60 and taking VACATION!!!

Lascauxcaveman January 30, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Having better healthcare, more enlightened cannabis laws,

Heh. Once again, my little town tucked up in the corner of Washington state shows it's really more Canadian that American. There is something inherently Canadian about swapping dope for bicycles.

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 12:39 am

Trust me; if they had 300,000,000 million people, they'd have an ego, too. You try taking over the world with a population less than that the state of California. Just sayin'.

Chillwillard January 30, 2012 at 11:40 am

How many weather balloons would it take to send the Newt into space?

nounverb911 January 30, 2012 at 11:44 am

All of them, Katie.

Guppy January 30, 2012 at 12:04 pm

We'd use up what's left of our strategic helium reserve.

Biff January 30, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Isn't that one of the elements newt wanted to mine on the moon in the first place?

Guppy January 30, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Nah, he just thinks there's a cookie up there for him.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 30, 2012 at 11:40 am

Build The Fence!
~

Barb January 30, 2012 at 11:40 am

Most 17 year-old boys that I know can barely blow up their dates.

JustPixelz January 30, 2012 at 11:49 am

Reflecting a fundamental misunderstanding of what "blowjob" means. I blame the schools.

DaRooster January 30, 2012 at 11:55 am

But these guys are Canadian.

Maman January 30, 2012 at 12:37 pm

And nerds. They know what a blowjob is, they just can't get one.

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 11:56 am

17; when ultra-horniness plus inexperience leads to incredibly awkward and frustrating sex.

Barb January 30, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Or in my case, marriage at age 17.

Fare la Volpe January 30, 2012 at 1:01 pm

My condolences.

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 12:41 am

Barb, you never told us you were from Mississippi.

Biff January 30, 2012 at 1:22 pm

When I was 17, I knew all about 'splosives!

memzilla January 30, 2012 at 11:41 am

"Equanimity Base here — the Moosehead has landed, eh?"

Joshua Norton January 30, 2012 at 11:42 am

Next time try it with Justin Bieber.

Baconzgood January 30, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I hate that chick.

chicken_thief January 30, 2012 at 12:33 pm

But 63% of all priests and Jerry Sandusky can't be wrong, can they?

starfanglednut January 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm

She's such a dyke.

Gunner Asch January 30, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I thought that was Justin Bieber

widestanceshakedown January 30, 2012 at 11:42 am

If these kids have the time to do this, they have plenty of time to mop a floor and learn the value of work.

Oh, they're Canadian? Worse yet, they're already Saul Alinsky Marxists.

Mahousu January 30, 2012 at 11:43 am

Mathew Ho and Asad Muhammad

Insert obligatory wild Chinese/Muslim space takeover conspiracy rant here.

chicken_thief January 30, 2012 at 11:54 am

I must learn to type faster – see about 4 posts down….

MrFizzy January 30, 2012 at 11:55 am

I used to date Mathew's sister Sheeda.

BaldarTFlagass January 30, 2012 at 11:43 am

"The mission was the result of the hard work and ingenuity of friends Mathew Ho and Asad Muhammad,"

Asad Muhammad!?!? Al Qaeda now has a rocket scientist? Truly we are doomed.

widestanceshakedown January 30, 2012 at 11:45 am

You know there's an IED somewhere on that thing.

Chillwillard January 30, 2012 at 11:49 am

They'll make a movie about this, and it'll be titled "Harold and Kumar go into Space."

actor212 January 30, 2012 at 12:34 pm

And Al Qaeda has discovered Hos!

Maman January 30, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Al Qaeda doesn't have a rocket scientist. It was a weather ballon. They have a meteorologist.

SexySmurf January 30, 2012 at 11:44 am

And now two Canadian kids have sent a (Lego) man into space, for about $400.

$350 of that was spent on the weed needed to come up with the idea in the first place.

YasserArraFeck January 30, 2012 at 2:23 pm

That will go into the budget as "feasibility studies"

DerrickWildcat January 30, 2012 at 11:44 am

Newt Gingrich is the Tea Bagger's choice! Which makes sense since he has a PhD in European History. If there's four things that Tea Baggers love, it's College, Professors, Europe and History.

chicken_thief January 30, 2012 at 11:55 am

And the sacred institution of Marriage.

DerrickWildcat January 30, 2012 at 11:59 am

and lobbyists.

freakishlywrong January 30, 2012 at 11:44 am

Maybe they can figure out how to pipe tar sands in to space so oil companies can reap huge profits. Or maybe re-route the fucking thing through Kentucky and Ohio.

twaingirl January 30, 2012 at 1:26 pm

No! We just got a ban on fracking here in Ohio! Don't give the legislature any more ideas.

KY is already fucked. Use them and Indiana instead.

BaldarTFlagass January 30, 2012 at 11:45 am

Your move, Werner Von Braun.

RedneckMuslin January 30, 2012 at 11:51 am

You know who else said that ?

nounverb911 January 30, 2012 at 11:54 am

Winston Churchill?

BaldarTFlagass January 30, 2012 at 11:55 am

The guy that ran Operation Paperclip?

Biff January 30, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Ordinarily, I hate that guy.

Guppy January 30, 2012 at 12:06 pm

The Lego contraption would inexplicably land in London.

Lascauxcaveman January 30, 2012 at 11:46 am

Meh. If it doesn't explode around a bunch of brown people after re-entry, it doesn't count.

chicken_thief January 30, 2012 at 11:46 am

Those ain't "real Canadians".. Mathew Ho and Asad Muhammad is a chink and a mooslin attempting to force Sharia Space Law down our galaxy's throat. Now that they have taken over the White House they are going after the moon and beyond!!!!

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 12:07 pm

We're gonna lose Mars to the Chinese-Muslim alliance if we don't get there quick! Another $100 billion to Boeing ASAP!!

prommie January 30, 2012 at 12:23 pm

"Where else but the US, or possibly Canada, would a family of immigrants have the opportunity to build a succesful chain of discount wheel-balancing centers?"

YasserArraFeck January 30, 2012 at 2:25 pm

"Jim, Ah cannae change the laws of Islam!!!!"

Goonemeritus January 30, 2012 at 11:47 am

I refuse to ceed space to a nation with someone else’s Queen on their money.

Edit— Real Canadians would have used Mega Bloks.

Guppy January 30, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Did they finally confirm those rumors about Wilfrid Laurier?

MilwaukeeKent January 30, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Hey that's my great great uncle — you watch what you say about "The Fiver"!
If you're talking about the rumor that he hired his brother-in-law to run the post office…

Biff January 30, 2012 at 1:29 pm

That's why I only accept Canadian Tire money.

JustPixelz January 30, 2012 at 11:48 am

"…the hard work and ingenuity of friends Mathew Ho and Asad Muhammad"

The Sharia Law of Gravity shall not be enforced in the U.S.A.

Will they build a moon base in Canada? Will Americans be able to tell the difference?

But our cheez fries technology is decades ahead of Canada. USA! USA! USA!

Maman January 30, 2012 at 12:41 pm

You ain't never been to Montreal then. The poutine proves that our cheez fries are sadly lacking. It has cheese AND gravy.

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Maybe, but I haven't found a decent plate of poutine since I left.

James Michael Curley January 30, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Place on Fifth Ave in Pittsburgh used to take the fries, put on cheddar cheese curds (probably just melted and separated cheddar cheese) heat it under the broiler, then put on a ladle of dark brown gravy. Only place in Pittsburgh and it was thirty years ago.

starfanglednut January 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I've never had it, but it sounds like one plate would last an entire lifetime.

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 11:48 am

It's fitting for Canadians to have the most polite and modest space launch ever, eh.

starfanglednut January 30, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Politeness is what they're all aboot.

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 11:50 am

This sending weather balloons up into space with a camera thing is going to get out of hand. I have a bad feeling about one of these being run into by a 747…

Lascauxcaveman January 30, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Yeah, those and all those Canada geese that get sucked into jet engines every day. Why does Canada hate civil aviation?

bagofmice January 30, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Let's see, a plastic bag, a few legos, and a cell phone meet 975,000 pounds of plane travelling at 400 miles an hour. I wonder what will happen.

jus_wonderin January 30, 2012 at 11:51 am

If we could just send up a self replicating nanite, we could maybe finally build a cool set of Ray Ban Aviator shades so we could look at solar eclipes without pinholes and sheets of cardboard.

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 11:51 am

Who tried to light forest fires in the US of A with high-altitude balloons?

nounverb911 January 30, 2012 at 11:57 am

Hello Kitty's grandfather?

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 7:26 pm

WIN !!!

Don't forget, Japan, Italy, and Germany (twice) were against us before they were for us. Russia, of course, was for us before they were against us. And after they quit the Great War like an Alaskan governor.

prommie January 30, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Who tried to burn down cities by bombing them with bats carrying mini-incendiary bombs?

Lascauxcaveman January 30, 2012 at 12:05 pm

That would have been us, back when we were awesome.

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Shaft?

Steverino247 January 30, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Those were trial runs to see if the delivery system worked as any news about fires would be unlikely targets of wartime censorship. If the delivery platforms worked well enough, the delivery of biological warfare weapons were next. See Unit 731's activities here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731

Plague fleas from Canada? Not likely, but keep trying boys!

BaldarTFlagass January 30, 2012 at 11:53 am

I keep waiting for Mr Hands and Sluggo to show up in that video and fuck that Canadian astronaut's shit up.

weej_bain January 30, 2012 at 11:53 am

Needz moar cross-checking.

chascates January 30, 2012 at 11:53 am

$400 is pretty cheap compared to the way America does things but it doesn't supply money to our glorious free market. The U.S. way: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203
The Defense Department has spent about $330 million so far to develop about 20 of the bombs (HUGE bunker busters!), which are built by Boeing Co. The Pentagon is seeking about $82 million more to make the bomb more effective, according to government officials briefed on the plan.

That's a little over 20 million bucks for one bomb that's almost guaranteed to start another Mideast war. Canada can explore space on the cheap. We'll spend fortunes to stir up hatred for America.

MrFizzy January 30, 2012 at 11:53 am

That thing looks a hell of a lot like Rumsfeld. Rummy, is that you?

EatsBabyDingos January 30, 2012 at 11:55 am

Muhammad and a 'Ho walked into a bar in Arizona…

nounverb911 January 30, 2012 at 11:59 am

Jan Brewer?

WhatTheHeck January 30, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Would never happen. They are Brothers from another Planet and therefore illegal aliens.

chicken_thief January 30, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Let's hope neither had on an Obama t-shirt…

donner_froh January 30, 2012 at 1:41 pm

You glad to see me or is that a Lego man in your pocket?

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 12:45 am

…and ended up in a secret, Czech prison.

Baconzgood January 30, 2012 at 11:57 am

NEEDZ MOAR LEGGO SPACE HOCKEY SCOREZ!!!

DaRooster January 30, 2012 at 11:58 am

Wow, Canadians really do look like they do on South Park.

subsum January 30, 2012 at 11:58 am

"With all their hockey hullabaloo and that bitch Anne Murray too!"

Arken January 30, 2012 at 11:59 am

You mean $400 in Canadian money, right? So that's like 35 cents.

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Not anymore; these days $400 Canadian would probably be more like $450 US.

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Jumping in with Canadian trivia at the smallest opportunity? The most important characteristic of the true Canadian!

Welcome, brother.
Bienvenue, mon chum

paris biltong January 30, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Or "Välkommen, gamla galosh" for the Swedes.

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Oh, oh. Prepare for thousands of outraged Canadians saying "It's worth as much as the US dollar now, sometimes more!"

Arken January 30, 2012 at 12:55 pm

You're too late.

Mumbletypeg January 30, 2012 at 11:59 am

So now we know where all that innovative aptitude's been hiding: the youth of Canada.
No surprise it couldn't get any footing in the U. S. of A. I liken this innovative capacity, personify or characterize it even, to a jaded and somewhat amusement-challenged MumbletyYoungster back in the day. Who, like this fabled Innovation Spirit, spent some time looking over the options for joy rides at the theme park — 'Thunder Road' ("USA! USA!"); 'White Lightning' ("We're No. 1! Proud to be an American); then ditched these local thrillbillies for Space Mountain, natch.

prommie January 30, 2012 at 11:59 am

This just proves the arguments of the free-marketeers and the libertarians, bold, inventive entrepeneurs can do anything the government does, and do it better, faster, leaner, and meaner! Give these boys a billion-dollar contract to supply the ISS, using weather balloons and lego astronauts! Yay!

bagofmice January 30, 2012 at 12:39 pm

There's a slight science problem.

The ISS is roughly travelling at 18,000 mph to maintain orbit, and it at a greatly higher altitude to stay out of the atmosphere which is buoying the baloon.

See the video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGzrL8J0t-c

prommie January 30, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Yes, there is a little bit of a science problem, isn't there? I guess this does not prove the theories of the free-marketers and libertarians to be correct after all, those theories fail to take into account the enormous cost of overcoming these technical issues. I am so glad you have turned my head on this, I was about to go vote for Ron Paul.

WhatTheHeck January 30, 2012 at 11:59 am

Next mission for the two teenagers:
“StarTrek – The Wrath of Khanada.”

AnAmericanInTO January 30, 2012 at 12:00 pm

This is such a great story and a happy counterpoint to the depressing Shafia honor killing trial that resulted in a pissed off judge and three pieces of garbage spending a looooong ass time in prison.
http://tinyurl.com/6obheqa

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Thank God that trial is finally over. Every day I would check the newspaper online [OK, OK, Christie Blatchford in the National Post, so not really a newspaper. But nobody does outrage like Blatchford.] And every time I did, I wanted to march up to Kingston and strangle those three smug weasels myself.

JackDempsey1 January 30, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I hope they kept the camera on long enough to capture the footage where the lizard thing bursts out of Mr. Lego's chest cavity.

bagofmice January 30, 2012 at 12:42 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeNO-07_dnk&fe

There you go. Warning, there be violence involved.

James Michael Curley January 30, 2012 at 1:49 pm

But at the end you see the Lego Sigourney Weaver strip down to her underwear and Meh! Eh?

actor212 January 30, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Hello, my baby! Hello my darling! Hello, my rag time gal!

edgydrifter January 30, 2012 at 12:00 pm

The Dominion of Callista (formerly known as "space and all the shit in it") is newtficially US territory now–hands off, Canadia!

DaRooster January 30, 2012 at 12:05 pm

And then he landed in his Space Ship about 75 miles away, and the teens stole a car or whatever — took public transportation, we bet! Oh Canada! — and picked up their contraption contraception.

At 17 it really can be embarrassing asking for that stuff in your home town.

SayItWithWookies January 30, 2012 at 12:05 pm

While aloft, the Legonaut sent back a message: "Hey, this looks just like Canada — there's nobody here, either."

freakishlywrong January 30, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Our kids. Isn't learnin'.

DahBoner January 30, 2012 at 12:13 pm

$400????

Why so much?

So sorry, Hockey Maple Syrup Round Bacon people, but AmeriCANS did this several years ago, for less than $150…

LiveToServeYa January 30, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Yes, I remember this. But you can't expect Ken to pay attention to achievements of Americans when he's busy pointing to the furreners whupping our asses every which way. How do you expect him to make his point?

actor212 January 30, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I, for one, welcome our plastic Canadian overlords.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 30, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Bah — they're merely copying an American innovation: sending crap into the sky.

EatsBabyDingos January 30, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Meh, with global warming, Kelowna will be the "New Phoenix" in twenty years anyway.

Biff January 30, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Thunderfuck!

widestanceshakedown January 30, 2012 at 12:26 pm

But, where's the decontamination period to prevent this improvised exploration device from bringing Space AIDS back to earth?

weej_bain January 30, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Their balloon got almost as high as Neil Young.

orygoon January 30, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Legos! What next? Muppets in space?

Fare la Volpe January 30, 2012 at 1:01 pm

PIGS

IN

SPAAAAACE

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"Harold & Kumar Go To The Moon" sucks!!

BZ1 January 30, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Yay Canada! (or should I say EH!)

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Canada – America's Topsoil

widestanceshakedown January 30, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Patti Smith foresaw this.

bagofmice January 30, 2012 at 12:46 pm

This was also done in the 60's, as you can see in this Boards of Canada video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2zKARkpDW4&ob

soeoho January 30, 2012 at 12:48 pm

It seems the physics of thermal ambience (hot air) has been overlooked. He'd be well into the stratosphere with a physically lofty gain plus the collateral benefits of a reduction of global warming and Gingrichouse-gasses..

Extemporanus January 30, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Too bad the boys didn't have another five Loonies to play with, or they could've gotten a space-suited Lego man and made something other than a frozen-smiled snuff film for toy torturers.

MissTaken January 30, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Until Canadians figure out that Halifax is 4 hours ahead of SF and quit sending me conference call requests for 6 am they can suck my big toe.

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 12:54 pm

You're just lucky to be a morning person having to deal with that shit.

MissTaken January 30, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I knew it was way too fucking early when I was commenting this morning before you.

SorosBot January 30, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I know; I was surprised to see a bunch of comments from you that must have been around six AM your time. Will you at least get to go home early in return?

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 1:18 pm

SorosBot and MissTaken, sittin' in a tree…

fuflans January 31, 2012 at 12:57 am

well that's fair.

Chichikovovich January 30, 2012 at 12:50 pm

You people are saying mean things about us in this thread. Truly, Canadians are the most persecuted people on the continent. Worse than Christians, even.

owhatever January 30, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Doesn't anyone beside visionary Newt see the real danger of letting Canadian kids sending unauthorized Lego Klingon ballloons into space whenever they get bored? Next, they will attach firecrackers to their battle cruisers and attack our potential 51st state moon colony! If Canada won't deal with them, one of our teams of trained seals will do the job just fine.

Nopantsmcgee January 30, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Canada. No longer just, "America's hat".

bagofmice January 30, 2012 at 12:52 pm

John Stapp was a badass, is what I'm sayin.

BigDumbRedDog January 30, 2012 at 12:53 pm

This just in: Lego Newt Gingrich promises a lego base on the moon before the end of the decade.

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Thin gruel. Why isn't there a Wonkette-sponsored Presidential Debate?!

Chet Kincaid January 30, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Canada – Bonobos to America's Chimps

Fare la Volpe January 30, 2012 at 1:04 pm

So Canada has tons of homosexuality, rampant incest, and absolutely no in-fighting as a result? Sounds about right.

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 12:49 am

Canada: Making Love, Not War Since 1867.

BigDumbRedDog January 30, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Canadians get everything wrong. This should have been a lego space man with his little lego helmet and little lego oxygen tank. Or at least a lego star wars character. I am going to shoot my entire lego moon command center from the eighties up into space, followed by my lego medieval castle and lego fire station just for the hell of it.

Larry McAwful January 30, 2012 at 12:59 pm

That, like all those other "moon landings", was obviously faked.

mavenmaven January 30, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Let's launch Allen West on one of those.

thefrontpage January 30, 2012 at 1:10 pm

The Zoraks, the indigenous people who have lived on the Moon for the last 1 billion years, issued this statement today, Monday, Jan. 30, 2012:

"The Zoraks have told the Lego People and the Canadiens repeatedly that they will not stand for any permanent, or temporary, type of 'base' on Zorak land on the Moon, which is pretty much most of the Moon. We have also told the Americans, the Russians, the Japanese and the Norwegians, which for some reason have a space program, that we will not tolerate any bases on our lands on the Moon, and any attempts to construct such bases will be met with force. The Zoraks have lived peacefully on the Moon for more than 1 billion years, and we intend to continue living on our rightful, legal lands for another 1 billion years." The Zoraks number about 350,000, but they have been the rightful, legal owners of most of the lands on the Moon for more than 1 billion years. They are led by the Zorak family, which has ruled the Moon lands for more than 1 billion years.

Smitros January 30, 2012 at 1:33 pm

We must counter with Lincoln Logs.

Larry McAwful January 30, 2012 at 1:36 pm

They must have gotten their building materials from the European Space Agency. They're grateful to Denmark for supplying them, no doubt.

ttommyunger January 30, 2012 at 1:39 pm

These hosers have way too much time on their hands, with oat a doat!

donner_froh January 30, 2012 at 1:44 pm

In the United States of Amerikkka if a guy named Muhammad tried to build a rocket he would be arrested detained without trial immediately.

YasserArraFeck January 30, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Build the Dang Moonbase!!

ElPinche January 30, 2012 at 1:52 pm

UFO at :35 on the right-side.

YasserArraFeck January 30, 2012 at 2:30 pm

More "Lego in Space"

turn the sound down a bit at work

Come here a minute January 30, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Before this decade is out, these Canucks will land a Lego toy on the Moon and return it safely to Earth, for less than the cost of 1000 Tim Horton's jelly donuts.

Data Exactly January 30, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I thought there's not supposed to be any sound in space, yet we can hear rustling in the background or something?!?

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 12:51 am

So, what you're saying is that this was filmed in a Hollywood studio…

Data Exactly January 31, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Ontario is supposed to be Canada's Hollywood, was it…?!?

Tundra Grifter January 30, 2012 at 7:02 pm

I am not an expert. However, I can't imagine a good end if a cell phone, 4 cameras, long lengths of paracord, and/or a weather balloon get sucked into a jet engine. I mean, look at the damage a freakin' bird can do…

imissopus January 30, 2012 at 9:46 pm

I think they stole the idea from that Citibank commercial.

Also, not to take away from what these kids did because it is pretty cool, but their balloon only went about 16 or 17 miles up. The generally agreed-upon demarcation between Earth's atmosphere and outer space is the Karman Line, and it's 62 miles up. So Lego Man would have had to go quite a bit higher to get into outer space.

Negropolis January 31, 2012 at 12:30 am

Mathew Ho and Asad Muhammad

Lemme guess: metro Toronto, right? You know, it so wasn't right for them to call that Mathew kid names. Ho? Grow up.

Meh. You were warned, Canada. You know what we do to countries that make us look bad, don't you? That's a nice country you got there; it'd be a shame if anything happened to America Jr…A non-weaponized weather balloon? How Canadian.

fuflans January 31, 2012 at 1:03 am

oh canada!

starfanglednut January 30, 2012 at 5:18 pm

A whole house full of wonkeratti? That's a scary thought.

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