The Europeans just cannot get enough of our First Lady Michelle Obama. She is all they have right now, with their money spinning down the toilet and Heidi Klum experiencing a divorce tragedy, etc. Last week, the French shared their opinions about Michelle Obama and her brave decision to not dress like MC Hammer. Now, of course, the British have decided that they do not like competing with France for the title of “Country With Best Insane Published Writing About FLOTUS.” But their take on Michelle Obama is a little more “saucy,” as they would say, because it involves (tee hee!) underpants!
Several funny “news” outlets published claims that our fancypants Michelle Obama spent what we guess is about $50,000 on actual fancy pants.
Michelle Obama is reportedly sexing up the White House after blowing £32,000 on saucy underwear.
America’s First Lady splashed the cash in ONE DAY during a shopping spree in New York’s Agent Provocateur store.
She bought posh pants and a £900 corset while out with the Queen of Qatar, Sheikha Mozah.
We can just imagine all the fun they must have had in the dressing room, giggling about cosmopolitans and Sharia law! The White House is rejecting the story, but it would make for an excellent plot line in an eventual FLOTUS comic series, in which she would most likely be dressed in lingerie (and a cape) and fighting off Rush Limbaugh with her magic garden shears. [The Mirror]
{ 142 comments }
History's greatest monster.
Politico, right?
PolitiFact would estimate the total money spent on lingerie in Michelle's lifetime, then give the British report a rating of TRUE.
I think a story about Mitt Romney's underwear would be much more interesting.
Considering that, according to his Federal income tax returns, he spent a great deal more on his last year.
I won't believe corporations are people until they start wearing sexy negligees.
It would be a magical tale.
>She bought posh pants and a £900 corset while out with the Queen of Qatar, Sheikha Mozah.
Well, my fantasy life just got about 100x richer.
Yikes, and I thought the NY Post was bad.
With News of the World gone, someone has to carry the banner!
You can get a bag of like 6 or 7 underwears at Walmart for 10 dollars.
And they're made in
SaipanAmerica!…And still look sexy/real sexy/like those models on TV. [She] don't need no designer tags to make her man want [her. She's] just a Redneck Woman…
The last occupant of the White House who spent $50,000 on women's underwear was George Bush.
For Condi?
fap fap fap fap fap
Quick, more cold cream.
Ice works faster.
If that's not snark, I want to know more about this, "ice."
Couple of cubes in the mouth + oral sex = fabulousness.
It's snark, it's snark!
That's all I need, to develop a rep for even more weird and kinky sex.
Explain please. Just for the sake of my, um ahh curiosity.
Oh, it's for men. Never mind.
I haz no explanashunz.
Testicular zap 'may stop sperm'
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16756381
I'd really like to see if *anybody* can convince the vast majority of men that frying their balls with some kinda technology or the other could *ever* be a *good* thing.
We are famous for WTF-applications to our junk, tis true.
…she would most likely be dressed in lingerie (and a cape) and fighting off Rush Limbaugh with her magic garden shears.
El Fathead, meanwhile, would be dressed like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. (Except way fatter, of course.)
~
When you're Flush Limpballs, you don't *have* to dress. At all.
Wut? It's not like anyone could even *see* his peepee from under the FUPA.
So THAT'S what that's called!
I always wondered what the hell to call that….thing.
I have learned SO MUCH since I first started hanging out here. SO MUCH more than I wanted, anyway.
(Yet-to-be) shriveled paniculus libel!
*Nothing* you say about Flush Rimbown could *ever* be libel.
I was thinking about all the other shriveled paniculi out there yearning for Flushblo's to join them. Oh, the humanity!
I see London, I see France, Michelle buys fancy underpants.
Yowza! I'll forgive Barry if he seems a little distracted for the next few days.
Um. BRB.
Where's everybody going? Let's keep talking about Canada.
Are you sure the FLOTUS wears flannel long johns?
OK I just saw Michelle Obama's underwear in the title and um, I think I have to run off and take care of something; be back in a bit…
A black woman who doesn't wear Snoop Dogg thongs? Mon dieu!
Sneaky devil – trying to audition for a job at French Elle
Je ne regrette rien.
Don't call the FLOTUS a neregrette!!
Can you call her negligee "filmy noir"?
Say that one more time, Fare, and Chet will smack you.
Piaf! right in the kisser.
The motto of the Republican Party.
Sisqo Libel.
Rush: used undies of GTFO
"Let them eat panties!"
Wait, what?
It is going to be quelle amusing to trace this wild lie though the right wing nutz' media. From Drudge to Sheer InSannity to Off-the-Mark Levin, to Ann Falter, Boss "I wasn't wrong; I was misinformed" BlunderRush,and the rest of their ilk.
There will be a blazed trail of stupid.
Very interesting. Problem is that the Mirror is less reliable as a source of actual news regarding matters of brassieres and bloomers than the National Enquirer.
Anyone mind if I smoke?
I'm out of lube…
Friction burn?
The Agent Provocateur website is an out of control crotch fire waiting to happen.
I bought Barbara Bush's underwear at a surplus auction, it keeps the elements off my '75 Chevy Caprice, very nicely.
The great Carrie Snow used to say she had the same bra size as a Corvette.
I say it is only proper that America's First Pussy be wrapped in the finest silk and linen. They're just jealous 'cause their Queen's Twinky is all wrinkled and rancid.
You're *awful,* even on your *good* days.
Yes, but you love it; admit it ;)
Salvation Army and Goodwill have pretty cheap underwears. If you ask a lady at the store really nice about them, sometimes they will just give them to you for free. They may not all fit very well, but they are under your pants so no one can see them anyway.
Just as long as she doesn't get those panties all up in a wad.
THere ain't enough to wad, sweetie. Go take a look on their Web site.
Probably NSFW. Tonight after I get home.
Beats the heck out of W.'s, I mean, Condi's, shoe shopping sprees
Don't know about you all, but I know where I'm spending my tax return this year!
I'm thinking of getting some fancy underwear too; maybe a purple satin thong.
You guys! Pix or GTFO!!!
My ladybits just clamped up….thanks.
I don't think there is such a thing as sexy underwear for men that actually is sexy and not silly.
No sane person would use garden shears to fight off Rush Limbaugh. A long pointy stick is always the weapon of choice; it allows one to keep a reasonable distance.
A sharpened boat oar, say.
Cattle prod. Always go with the cattle prod. One zap and he's on the ground crying for his mommy.
I have it on good authority (the Area 51 Hatchery) that Flush Rimbowl doesn't *have* a mommy.
i believe the elizabethean term of choice is 'sup with a long spoon'.
I wonder exactly how they found out who spent what on which items. I'm sure the Queen of Qatar would be interested too.
They have a Ouija board for that kind of hardcore fact-checking.
I have some posh pants. They're American made Levi's. (yes, they're old)
fighting off Rush Limbaugh with her magic garden shears.
Oh, I think a set of nail clippers would be enough for that.
This whole story is zero-credibility bullshit engineered to titillate British sexuality. The only thing I will say for it is that its preferable to the fevered fantasies that we usually encounter on Wonkette, ie: the hateful, paranoid, and decidely unsexy rantings of America's rusty Winnebago racists.
And so the Great Mooshelle $50,000 Underpants Myth is born. Don't leave a comment without it, Wingtards!
I'm tellin' ya. Even the top-level kinksters of our fine neighbouring city will tell ya there ain't no such thing as $50K underroos. Maybe if you wanted to splurge on a REALLY fancy silk-lined corset with REAL whalebone and handmade lace trim, but nobody wears that shit because it's too uncomfortable. It's just for fancy play scenes, and Michelle and Barry don't have time for that shit.
The teatards panties will be in a wad about this one, hooo-boy!
Finally! An underwear thread that doesn't involve magical Mormon long johns.
When I have underwear threads, I just yank real hard on them and they usually snap right off.
I'm just really crushed that this hasn't turned into another discussion of the underroos you and that bad boy are buying each other for your birfdays.
What the heck does Michelle need with a 900-pound corset? Sounds like she was reaching across the aisle and shopping for Rushbo.
I find this easy to masterbate to.
"She bought posh pants and a £900 corset while out with the Queen of Qatar, Sheikha Mozah."
I'd be more inclined to believe this if they said she was out shopping with some friends from Chicago.
Especially since there isn't a single damn corset in their entire line that sells for even $1,000. A far cry from a £900 corset.
I imagine Michelle wears something tasteful yet hot — in fact, I'm imagining her right now wearing caramel dessert topping.
FTW.
Based on what I've seen of AP's lingerie I don't think we'll be seeing or hearing from Barry in quite a while.
The Secret Service stationed in the family living quarters might be hearing from him.
I really hope that Sasha and Malia have rooms quite a distance away.
Hey, Rush–want to lose fifty pounds of ugly fat?
Let FLOTUS chop off your head with her magic garden shears.
No pictures of the FLOTUS in her knickers? What a jip!
I will pass on this snark rich target to simply point out that a potential contributing factor to this journalistic embellishment might be the difference in American and British English interpretations of the word "pants."
Good lord, you're right!
Can my dream possibly be reality?
£ 2,000 on SAUCY underwear
ONE question, how much for the "saucy'ness?"
I was thinking the same – were those fucking things USED?!
Dressed in lingerie and a cape. Now THAT I would pay to see.
How many of those news outlets happen to be owned by Rupert?
AOT, K?
And to think, in Japan you can just buy them from machines on the street.
Why are they not saying she stole it all? Hello, she IS black, you know.
My girl did the same thing last weekend.
I think Saul Alinsky would approve.
There must be something wrong with me, because information like this only makes me love the FLOTUS more.
How come we never had stories of lingerie buying when W was in the white house?
He liked to keep it on the QT.
One look at Laura should tell you why–she's a commando kind of gal (because underwear confused W).
Might I ask to borrow some of your "brain bleach" after reading that?
But, Laura's the hotness. She could kill a man by not knowing when to stop.
(thanks, here all week. . .)
Oh, you're horrible…and I love you for it.
I'll be in my bunk if anyone's looking for me
FLOTUS Accused of Being Panty Waste[r]
A whole thread about underwear, the First Lady, and salacious rumors and not one reference to Santorum. Color me bitterly disappointed.
…'Cause we're klassy like that.
Relax people. She and Hopey are just doing their part to combat obesity.
British tabloids don't have -an …ahem, good reputation
I dunno, man, we ALL do it around here.
Oh, gross. This story is just for the disgusting rwnj freaky creepazoids who now have a patriotic! noble! reason to picture! and think about! and write about! our dear FLOTUS wearing nothing but the skimpiest bits of lace and satin. Perverts, every last one of them.
On the bright side, this will just make them ornerier than ever when they inevitably go on to picture the President taking advantage of his husbandly privileges.
Let me guess. Some of those reports came from papers owned by Rupert Murdoch, which means Fox News will be all over the story tonight.
OT Lovely in-depth column on Mittens, with special attention to HIS underpants.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jan/30/mitt-…
Bill Clinton donated his used underpants to charity and took a deduction. True.
Callista has a diamond-studded chastity belt from Tiffany's. Just to make sure that Newtie doesn't get any ideas.
The whole United Kingdom can be shipped to Bagram Airfield for the unironic use of the word "posh", and no one will have lost any.
I'll be in my bunk.
So tell me, if Mittens wins, does the new first lady get Mormon tap pants and camisoles from Provo?
How about the comment from the professorcastillo that he is interested in Romney's underwear? Can we please get this Pervert investigated? Is he really a teacher and if so he should be so fired!
What a waste of money. You could get a diaper with a steaming hot doody in it, fresh from a famous Louisiana politician (Mr. Vitter) and he would PAY YOU $500. Shop the sales ladies.
On. The. Floor.
When you hear Piaf, you'll wake up into another thread.
Oh. OK. Carry on, then.
I'll be right back.
Oh, that one. I knew that one (Halls cough drops also).
Dammit, Lizzie, there you go again…
A rep for more weird and kinky sex is always in demand (here at least).
Or, if you're not sick, Altoids.
I keep a few of 'em on me at all times, just in case…
Now I'm even more confused.
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