FYI  4:00 pm January 27, 2012

Tennessee Bigot: AIDS Caused By One Monkey-Loving Airline Pilot

by Liz Colville

oh thooooose?? those are from ricky santorum

Arguably the worst person permitted to make laws on behalf of America, Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield, author of the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, recently took part in an interview on Sirius in which he not only defended his already nightmarish views on homosexuality and AIDS, but pushed his insane agenda even farther, twisting the knife all the way through the chest of America and then pulling it out the other side. And then pushing it back through to create a nice big hole, putting his arm through, waving, making an obscene gesture, etc. Campfield, who evidently grows wild carnivorous rose bushes in his office and has blocked access to every site on the Internet that is not (gay) porn, first of all reminds Sirius OutQ’s “The Gist” show host Michelangelo Signorile that AIDS is all the fault of one monkey-loving airline pilot. It gets wooo-orse.

Campfield also thinks that anti-gay bullying is bullshit:

That bullying thing is the biggest lark out there. There are sexually confused children who could be pushed into a lifestyle that I don’t think is appropriate with them and it’s not for the norm for society, and they don’t know how they can get back from that. I think a lot of times these young teens and young children, they find it very hard on themselves and unfortunately some of them commit suicide.

Campfield defends his “Don’t Say Gay” bill, which is basically “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” FOR SCHOOLS. He then says AIDS could have been prevented if this airline pilot (????) had not been gay, never mind the monkey part for now.

Most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community — it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall. My understanding is that it is virtually — not completely, but virtually — impossible to contract AIDS through heterosexual sex…very rarely [transmitted].

Actually, you freak, as Signorile points out, heterosexual sex is widely viewed to be a big factor in the spread of AIDS.

And finally:

Homosexuals represent about 2 to 3 percent of the population yet you look at television and plays and theaters, it’s 50 percent of the theaters, probably more than that, 50 percent of the theaters based on something about homosexuality.

STACEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Huffington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 331 comments }

nounverb911 January 27, 2012 at 4:10 pm

"Stacey Campfield, author of the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, "
Isn't Stacey a girl's name?

Chillwillard January 27, 2012 at 4:25 pm

So is Lindsay.

chascates January 27, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Yeah, names like that and Jodie and Lindsey are gender-confusing and lead to bad outcomes.

emmelemm January 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Possibly even teasing and bullying.

WunkRocker January 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm

and fisting.

GOPCrusher January 27, 2012 at 5:41 pm

In the face.

Biff January 27, 2012 at 4:38 pm

According to this guy, it's not gay unless you spell it with an "i", and dotted with a heart.

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm

And that "i" is a cock.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 5:57 pm

*Some*body's in fine form, today!

C_R_Eature January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Just don't call him "Shirley".

horsedreamer_1 January 27, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Povich Libel.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm

And the first half of his last name is "camp". That's how he knows so much about the percentage of gays in the theater.

teebob2000 January 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm

That's what it says on this panties, anyhow.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Why do you think he sponsored the "Don't Say Gay" bill?

mannacler January 27, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Stacey is his drag name.

DrunkIrishman January 27, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Dumbass fucktard represents about 20% of the population, yet they make up about 90% of the Tennessee Legislature. Go figure.

Antispandex January 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm

If monkey love is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Biff January 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Scoooooopes!

insidebeltway January 27, 2012 at 4:40 pm

He's just jealous, 'cause the monkey turned him down.

Not_So_Much January 27, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Bonobo boner!

Limeylizzie January 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm

I love bonobos.

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Aren't bonobos the only other primate besides humans that have sex as a recreational acitivity?

BornInATrailer January 27, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Loco for Koko!

flamingpdog January 27, 2012 at 5:29 pm

If I can't have hot monkey love, I'll settle for a hot organ grinder.

thisdavo January 27, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Now I finally know why I used to jerk off to Magilla Gorilla. Thank you, Mr. Campfield.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Won't someone think of the monkey butlers??

Chillwillard January 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm

"Most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community — it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men."

Here's another theory:

"Most people realize that Rep. Campfield came from the heterosexual community — it was his dad screwing his sister, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with other relatives."

ManchuCandidate January 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm

For an allegedly straight guy, Stacey spends a lot of time contemplating gay. I'll bet he bores the shit out of the guys down at the glory hole with all the gay stuff he can't help but contemplate about.

Beowoof January 27, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Seems that Stacey doth protest too much. Something tells me that if he isn't at a glory hole, then he's at the Denny's with Ted, for some meth and whatever else is going on in the men's room.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Operalala January 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm

His musings are strikingly vivid and specific.

SorosBot January 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm

"they find it very hard on themselves and unfortunately some of them commit suicide"

Some of them commit suicide because of the bullying that you are defending, and because of bigots like you, you sick motherfucker.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Thank you.

Somebody needs to call these sick motherfuckers sick motherfuckers.

savethispatient January 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Oh, so that's why Campfield doesn't use condoms when he's with hookers… Somebody better tell him to go for a check-up.

widestanceshakedown January 27, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Let's not.

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Trust me, Stacie (as some of us call him down this a way) doesn't need to worry about using condoms with anyone, of any sex. This total douche-hose is my state "representative." Even the most knuckledragging of slackjaws here ridicule this narcissistic sac o' shit.

CapnFatback January 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm

it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly,

"At least, that's what the hole in the back of my monkey costume suggests to me."

archikvetch January 27, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Pretty sure the monkey screwed the guy

HarryButtle January 27, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Clarence Beeks libel!

FlownOver January 27, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Something else to blame on that good-for-nothing Minnesota liberal senator!

CapnFatback January 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Every Which Way AND Loose.

teebob2000 January 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm

At least he was loose after the monkey was finished with him. Those things are HUNG!!!

Designer_Rants January 27, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Every Which Way BUTT Loose?

BornInATrailer January 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Get your dick out of me you damn dirty ape!

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Pics or it didn't happen.

fartknocker January 27, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I'm sure well be hearing more from him when TN law enforcement catch him on his knees at some rest stop glory hole smoking a white owl, if you know what I mean.

widestanceshakedown January 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Drinks at the White Swallow, wink, wink. . .

Barb January 27, 2012 at 4:15 pm

This guy seems a little preoccupied to homosexuality and bestiality. I doubt he could get laid in a gay monkey whorehouse with a crate of bananas.

SorosBot January 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I think he's a closet furry.

emmelemm January 27, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I doubt he could get laid in a gay monkey whorehouse with a crate of bananas.

I am in love with you. I want to have gay babies with you. (I'm not sure if that means the babies will be gay, or if we'll have to make magic babies because we're both women.)

Barb January 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I love you back!

WunkRocker January 27, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I want to have gay marriage abortions all over your comments.

Barb January 27, 2012 at 5:06 pm

We have to save something for the aba daba honeymoon.

SorosBot January 27, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Well it's far from being possible yet, but scientists are working on that:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/1431489.stm

Interestingly a child with two genetic mothers could only be a girl; this could lead to an all-lesbian future!

LetUsBray January 27, 2012 at 5:40 pm

It grieves me that I won't live to see this indescribably hot sapphic future.

GOPCrusher January 27, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I, for one, welcome our Amazon Overlords.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Quiet, man person! Prepare for snoo-snoo!

flamingpdog January 27, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Little known fact: Jesus had two mothers in the King Dyke Version of the Bible.

MOG2410 January 27, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Even monkeys have some taste!

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"a gay monkey whorehouse"

There are such things as gay monkey whorehouses? [a la Dale Gribble] Why was I not informed??

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:19 pm

I doubt he could get laid in a gay monkey whorehouse with a crate of bananas.

ROTFLMAO!

Monsieur_Grumpe January 27, 2012 at 4:16 pm

If there ever was a byproduct of monkey love it would be Campfield.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 27, 2012 at 4:16 pm

APE-ANALLING AVIATOR ADVANCES AIDS
more at 11

Barb January 27, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Will their be ape rape tape?

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I hear it's bananas.

Barb January 27, 2012 at 4:35 pm

too funny, Fare!

Chichikovovich January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

at which we can gape and jape, mouths agape? And feel tingles at that place – you know, the one just at the base of your neck? Dammit, what's that called…

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:36 pm

7th cervical vertebrae.

MissTaken January 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm

You know, Stacey, just because even a monkey won't let you stick it in doesn't mean you have to be a dick to those who can get laid.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Zing! I see your rapier is sharp this morning, Miss!

Yup, Dr. MittBorg pronounces the charming young lady fully cured.

fartknocker January 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm

By the way Wonkette, where's Kourtney? I'd like her opinion on this and vegetables in annular orifices of TN legislators.

Swampgas_Man January 27, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Even vegetables have better taste than THAT.

nounverb911 January 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Wait! Wasn't Campfield the guy in the ape suit in "Trading Places"?

OkieDokieDog January 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Jesus Fucking Christ. This guy… he's stupid.

Callyson January 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Arguably the worst person permitted to make laws on behalf of America, Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield
Santorum: "Bitch, please…back in my heyday I was way better."

MOG2410 January 27, 2012 at 4:44 pm

They'd make a cute couple.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Oh, god (retches).

The coupling of Santorum is most vomit-inducing, MOG.

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Santorum is George Clooney compared with this jackass. He's also known as "Staci X" (tx. Jesus' General) for once trying to join the Tennessee Black Caucus to prove how racist they were. If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'.

Gratuitous World January 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm

it's clear that AIDS can be transmitted by flying a plane.

But can it be transmitted by lifting the luggage?

ask around

chicken_thief January 27, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Not so much by lifting the luggage, but packing it in the rear has been shown to increase the odds.

Baconzgood January 27, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I got AIDS once from eating an not completely cooked chicken thigh.

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2012 at 5:13 pm

AIDS comes from bacon, Son, and your licentious, bacon-chasing lifestyle!

Baconzgood January 27, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Bacon is PURE. It is clean. It is bacon

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Heresy!

Bacon is the way and the truth and the life. No man gets to the Father but by bacon. But by the grace of bacon, go I.

You need a Come-to-Paul-Deen-Moment, son! Them anti-bacon demons done got a hold on you.

Not_So_Much January 27, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Coincidence? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C-e96m4730

I think not.

Guppy January 27, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Chemtrails!

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2012 at 5:06 pm

It's transmitted by baseball players. You know, catchers, pitchers, etc.

MosesInvests January 28, 2012 at 10:18 pm

It can be transmitted by hiring a Rentboy to lift one's luggage.

Baconzgood January 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm

"twisting the knife all the way through the chest of America and then pulling it out the other side. And then pushing it back through to create a nice big hole, putting his arm through, waving, making an obscene gesture"

You are like a woman Faulkner. Give this broad a chick version of the Nobel Prize or whatever you fun holes give out at the NOW meetings for *snicker* "writers".

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 8:06 pm

um … huh?

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 10:02 pm

A word of advice: If you're angling for death by snoo-snoo, this isn't the way to go about it.

Chet Kincaid January 28, 2012 at 11:27 am

You made me look up a new word! I thought "Snoo-Snoo" was a character in Li'l Abner.

SexySmurf January 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm

My understanding is that it is virtually — not completely, but virtually — impossible to contract AIDS through heterosexual sex

I guess that's why they call him "Magic" Johnson.

Franknflower January 27, 2012 at 5:05 pm

All those gay Africans. Who knew?

flamingpdog January 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm

He wouldn't have caught teh AIDS if he had been wearing "magic" underwear.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 10:07 pm

"I guess that's why they call him "Magic" Johnson."

Um… Yeah, sure; *that's* why.

CapnFatback January 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm

it’s 50 percent of the theaters, probably more than that, 50 percent of the theaters based on something about homosexuality.

Huh. That explains why the local adaptation of Hamlet had the young Dane contemplate mortality while holding a butt plug instead of a skull.

savethispatient January 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Yeah, but I have a feeling being a gay playwright and being an English playwright are equivalent in the mind of this Tennessean at least.

CapnFatback January 27, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Could he at least tell which authored this line?

"Alas, poor Anal Oakley. I knew him, Horatio."

Chichikovovich January 27, 2012 at 4:38 pm

It helps to explain Campfield's distaste for the theatre that he has always hated Hamlet, because it reminds him that in the collection of all his women relatives, there is a 1:1 Horatio.

emmelemm January 27, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Shouldn't that be "I blew him, Horatio"?

savethispatient January 27, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"To tell, or not to tell? There is no question." – Shakespeare on DADT

CapnFatback January 27, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Or, as in Arizona, "To twell, or not to twell?"

SorosBot January 27, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Well there are the scholars that think his sonnets show evidence that Shakespeare liked both the theater and sports, if you know what I mean.

CapnFatback January 27, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"I am but 'merry' north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a lark from my lube."

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Hence the popular American parlour game: Gay or British.

sewollef January 30, 2012 at 10:21 am

And as my yankee wife keeps reminding me… "it's a fine line between English and gay."

I THINK she's joking….

Guppy January 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Nah, they're just Eurotrash. Infamously hard to tell the difference at times.

V572 the Merciless January 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Jeez, don't tell this guy about the Jews.

Barb January 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Mazel tov, ya'll! I don't think there are many jews in the south.

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2012 at 4:50 pm
V572 the Merciless January 27, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Ha ha, Lehman Brothers was originally a Birmingham cotton brokerage. Savannah established its first synagogue in 1733. Likewise in Mobile and New Orleans.But not Tennessee – they’re much smarter than that.

Barb January 27, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Snark is rarely based on facts or reality. My "mazel tov, ya'll" was just meant as a joke and it didn't really need correction.

V572 the Merciless January 27, 2012 at 5:25 pm

= not intended to be a factual statement.

And yet I love you anyway, Barb, as ever.

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:33 pm

The Gheys did 9/11!

Wait, wha?! I'm getting all my wingnut talking points mixed up again, aren't I?

memzilla January 27, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Leaked interview with Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield's rentboy in 7… 6… 5…

MOG2410 January 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Cell pictures of his junk to follow.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Hahaha, you said leaked.

WiscDad January 27, 2012 at 4:19 pm

What kind of backwoods, inbred, hillbilly family was this guy brought up in? He's just thankful it didn't come from sheep…or he'd have it.

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2012 at 4:43 pm

That's where syphilis came from, so we can guess what kind of procedures Stacey has done at the doc's office.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Wonder if he can tell us where he got his Mad Cow disease from.

insidebeltway January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

He should get tested for anthrax.

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Um, actually, Stacey hails from New York.

WiscDad January 27, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Um, actually, there's no particular city or state that ignorant fucking inbred hilllbilly rednecks come from…um, get my drift?

Callyson January 27, 2012 at 4:19 pm

My understanding is that it is virtually — not completely, but virtually — impossible to contract AIDS through heterosexual sex…very rarely [transmitted].
Has this fucker ever heard of Africa?

Generation[redacted] January 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I think it's safe to say, no. No he hasn't.

Callyson January 27, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Now that you mention it, that's probably a good thing.

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm

"Africa? That's where my maid came from! I hear it's a charming little town."

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Not just Africa, it's spreading like wildfire (or was, haven't checked for over a year) in India and China and various other parts of Asia, and eastern Europe. Dumb as fuck, this hick.

ph7 January 27, 2012 at 4:20 pm

"it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall.

And trust me, Stacey spends a lot of time recalling that imagery.

smokefilledroommate January 27, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I was unaware the 'A' in AIDS stood for airborne.

RadioFetusEater January 27, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I'm worried about those larks that carry West Nile Virus.

Biff January 27, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Show us your Lark pack!

MzNicky January 28, 2012 at 9:49 am

Wow Biff, you must be as old as I am! Now I've got the William Tell overture ear-worm.

Joshua Norton January 27, 2012 at 4:22 pm

it’s 50 percent of the theaters, probably more than that,

Dude! I'm pretty sure it would be %100 of the television and plays and theaters you want to see, if you were really honest with yourself.

Poindexter718 January 27, 2012 at 4:31 pm

It's only 50% in the Branson, Mo. venues he frequents.

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Keep fuckin' that monkey!

Antispandex January 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Everyone in Tennessee knows monkeys are for spankin'. This Senator must be an undercover New Yorker.

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 5:20 pm

ASX:

And chickens are for chokin'.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Biff?

widestanceshakedown January 27, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I always made Lancelot Link use a condom, so don't blame me.

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2012 at 4:33 pm

That show taught me at an early age that Hollywood hates children.

widestanceshakedown January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Most of the shows I watched seemed to suggest that. That said, whoever drew Johnny Quest's dad must have loved cock.

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Major Matt Mason and Ken…Dr. Quest and Race…my entire childhood was a lie!! Don't you say a word to me about Yogi and Boo-Boo!!

Chichikovovich January 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Heavens to Murgatroyd! That explains a lot about Quick-Draw and Babba Louey too.

widestanceshakedown January 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Bears, the pair of them.

Extemporanus January 27, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Scopes wept.

CapnFatback January 27, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Why? That airline pilot's just putting the EVOL in EVOL-UTION!

OneYieldRegular January 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

So many fists up for that.

starfanglednut January 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm

"Most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community — it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall. " he said between moans, removing one cock from his mouth, but not the other from his ass, so he could enunciate clearly.

OneYieldRegular January 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm

"If I recall correctly…"

Recall from what, exactly?

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Office.

SorosBot January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

His own ass?

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm

$10,000 sez he thinks that airline pilot was French.

Is this the storyline that did in the recent rather short-lived airline tv series?

prommie January 27, 2012 at 4:44 pm

French-Canadian steward, actually; his misinformation seems to be based on "patient zero" who did exist.

Biff January 27, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Where else may I catch furtive glimpses of Karine Vanasse, then?

Inchhigh January 27, 2012 at 5:35 pm

$10,000 eh? Willard Romney will take you up on that!

Mumbletypeg January 27, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Among the signorile.com commenters:

As an volunteer HIV testing counselor in Knoxville, and despite the number of educational programs out there, we continue to see hundreds if not thousands of individuals every year who don't understand how HIV disease is spread… His behavior on your show only exacerbates ignorance. While I am angry that a politican of his responsibility is wasting time arguing about something like sexuality, I am more disappointed that he spews such hatred and ignorance, literally condoning bullying, bigotry, and unprotected heterosexual sex.

This counselor is the kind of Tennessee Volunteer I can believe in.

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 8:09 pm

They's a few of us'n who got us some sense, and book-larnin'.

BornInATrailer January 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm

"Most people realize that Stacey Campfield came from inbreeding — it was his uncle/father screwing his aunt/mother, if I recall correctly, and then forgetting to withdraw. It was in an abandoned Port-A-Potty, if I recall. My understanding is that it is virtually — not completely, but virtually — impossible to get a useful member of the state house via generations of inbreeding…very rarely [produced]."

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Years ago I figured out it isn't a good idea to try to monkey with a girl wearing a gorilla label on her pants. This appears to be beyond all that. Also.

Biff January 27, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Or a full-on gorilla suit, like Brisket?

Joshua Norton January 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm

blocked access to every site on the Internet

OK, who the hell told Tennessee about the internet?

insidebeltway January 27, 2012 at 4:47 pm

That would be Al Gore.

GOPCrusher January 27, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Once they got electricity, it was inevitable.

Generation[redacted] January 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm

"it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall. And then the pizza guy came in, with another monkey. The pool boy was behind the sliding glass door, watching. Then it was two girls on one monkey, and a hedgehog. yes, I definitely remember the hedgehog."

MissTaken January 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Stacey quit watching when the two girls arrived, though.

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I definitely remember the hedgehog

It's pretty hard to forget Ron Jeremy.

unStunned January 29, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I'm betting the hedgehog was the easier lay. Monkeys are not the most tractable creatures–which might help explain their virtual absence from bestiality legends. Also helps explain why blood-borne exposure during the bushmeat-butchering process is generally accepted by the non-idiot community as the probable original method of AIDS transmission.

chascates January 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Tennesseans are still pissed off over the Scopes trial. And I'm betting Stacey Campbell throws his own feces at people.

MOG2410 January 27, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Easier and cleaner than throwing someone else's and keeps the outhouse from overflowing.

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 8:11 pm

How'd you know? And that's us, his constituents!

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 4:29 pm

This joker probably shouldn't watch "Rise of the Planet of the Apes." Ever.

Generation[redacted] January 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Oh, Cornelius! How could you!

Poindexter718 January 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm

In the pilot's defense, he had just landed the red-eye from New York to Jo'berg and was well into his third scotch when the monkey slid up next to him at the hotel bar dressed in a smokin' hawt stewardess uniform.

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 4:36 pm

PD718:

Some time back a couple of friends and I wanted to dress up for April Fool's Day in pilot uniforms, head to the airport bar, and yell "Double Scotch and hurry up! We got a plane to catch!"

Then 9/11 happened and we figured that be a bit more risky than we had originally planned.

neiltheblaze January 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Wasn't that a Johnny Cash hit, "A Boy Named Stacey"?

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm

ntb:

I was thinking more Smokey Robinson – "Mickey's Monkey." Only in this case I guess it would be "Stacey's Monkey…"

MinAgain January 27, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Stacey Campfield is the gift that keeps on giving. To Wonkette and Jon Stewart, that is.

He's in his forties, never been married, and is obsessed with gay people. I, personally, think he's so far back in the closet he can see Narnia, but you make your own call.

widestanceshakedown January 27, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Methinks the stance is wide on this one.

emmelemm January 27, 2012 at 4:42 pm

TIME. OUT. This guy isn't married? First of all, I would think not even bothering to have a beard would automatically disqualify you for public office in Tennessee.

"Well, I'm just a confirmed bachelor, you see…"

Not_So_Much January 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Lindsey Graham is his role model.

neiltheblaze January 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm

"….he's so far back in the closet he can see Narnia…"

Effin' brilliant. I'm so stealing that.

BornInATrailer January 27, 2012 at 4:50 pm

The Lyin', the Swish and the Wardrobe?

Jukesgrrl January 27, 2012 at 8:32 pm

My understanding is that it is virtually — not completely, but virtually — impossible to give multiple upfists, but I would if I could.

C_R_Eature January 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Well, here's somebody who clearly needs a Hobby.

What? This is his Hobby?

Well, takes all kinds, doesn't it. I just wish he did all this in private. Away from, you know, making laws n' stuff.

flamingpdog January 29, 2012 at 11:01 pm

It's pretty clear he could use a Hubby, too, also.

starfanglednut January 27, 2012 at 6:21 pm

I'm in my forties, never been married, and obsessed with gay people. But then, I'm a queer.

Extemporanus January 27, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Hey, where the hell's that randy ol' cabin rascal Roscoe at?

If there's any trusted Wonketteer who would know anything about a graying gay monkey-fucking flyboy, it would be him.

RadioFetusEater January 27, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I don't think Kaposi's Sarcoma is gray.

Extemporanus January 27, 2012 at 4:58 pm

If he were, there's no way Carla Bruni ever would've married him.

MaxNeanderthal January 27, 2012 at 4:33 pm

That wouldn't be an airline pilot who likes to watch gladiator movies, hangs around gymnasiums and has spent time in a Turkish prison, would it?
"Stacey CAMP-field"? Obsessed with gays, uninhibited monkeys, etc. etc. This guys closet door is straining at the hinges…..

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Tennessee, eh? Is he trying to tell us what the Scopes Monkey Trial was really all about?

PubOption January 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Clearly, someone tried it with a monkey.

Generation[redacted] January 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Well I'll be a monkey-fucker's uncle-fucker.

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Oh for fuck's sake.

starfanglednut January 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I always, always upfist that comment. I don't know why, but it gets me every time.

chicken_thief January 27, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I am not defending Stacey by any means – there is no defense for bullying. But I have heard the "airline flight attendant" theory – in fact, his name is Gaetan Dugas, and that Magic Johnson was a statistical anomaly in the US. (He was the one and only male in LA County to contract HIV via heterosexual sex the year he was diagnosed according to the article.)

Now, if I was an elected official would I be spouting that shit like it's gospel – hell the fuck no.

Chichikovovich January 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Well, that Gaetan Dugas was patient zero in the was suggested by Randy Shilts in And the Band Played On based on a study that hasn't been universally accepted, but is a genuine study made by serious researchers. And Dugas was a flight attendant, that's true.

But it's the monkey-fucking part that is the problem with what the Rocky Top Rockhead said, not the "patient zero worked for an airline" part.

Edit: Random pointless afterthought: Shilts' book came out just after I had finished high school, and one moment of it stuck in my mind. He introduced Dugas into the story with a phrase like "with the exotic name of Gaetan Dugas". At the time I found that a bizarre thing to say, since in my in high school alone I knew at least 10 people named Gaetan, and about 20 people with the last name Dugas.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 10:41 pm

"in my in high school alone I knew at least 10 people named Gaetan, and about 20 people with the last name Dugas."

did you go to high school in/on the Louisiana bayou?

Chichikovovich January 28, 2012 at 7:58 am

I grew up in a French-speaking town in the northern part of Ontario. My high-school, in another French-speaking town a longish bus ride away, was bilingual, because there weren't enough students to warrant separate French and English speaking schools.—

IceCreamEmpress January 27, 2012 at 8:23 pm

The theory that Gaetan Dugas was "patient zero" in the US is a bit reductive (and also disappears the thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people in Africa who had AIDS before Dugas, as if the disease didn't exist until some white guy had it).

But the theory that Dugas was "patient zero" is only barely related to the garbled nonsense this loser is spouting. Monkey-fucking? Where the FUCK did that come from?

MzNicky January 28, 2012 at 10:00 am

From Staci X's fervid imagination. (fervid? febrile? fermented? vivid? Too lazy this morning to look up "fervid.")

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 10:46 pm

I remember back in the day, they caught somebody (though I'm pretty sure that it was NOT Gaetan Dugas) who was HIV positive and deliberately having unprotected sex. There wasn't, at that time, a law on the books pertaining to such a thing, and they couldn't decide exactly what to charge him with — not rape/sexual assault, since all the sex he had was consensual, and not murder, because nobody died (in fact, I don't even know for sure that anybody got HIV from him; they might have been competely physically unharmed). They seriously even considered "assault with a deadly weapon". I think they finally settled on "reckless negligence" or something like that.

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:44 pm

But I have heard the "airline flight attendant" theory -

And?

I swear that I'm missing your point. I hear a lot of crazy shit, myself, but if I don't believe it, why the pre-emptive apology?

chicken_thief January 28, 2012 at 11:51 am

Clearly I didn't convey the point I was trying to make very well. Which was/is: the basics of his theories are not that far out of mainstream – infection in the US was traced to one person in at least one semi-scientific study (I think there are other theories that trace back to other single persons carrying the infection to the US) and female to male transmission via intercourse (including anal) is fairly rare in the US.

The pre-emptive apology was for while understanding why he might believe those underlying "facts", the conclusions are off the chart crazy – including the monkey fucking and that bullying is therefore ok. Accepting either of those two beliefs as gospel is hardly reason or justification for publicly using them as a basis as he did.

Maybe I should have stuck to snark…… :-)

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Stacey, AIDS was probably transmitted to humans via bushmeat — which, despite your convictions, doesn't mean at all what the tranny hookers on Beale Street told you it means.

Sharkey January 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm

And the fun practice of procuring and eating bushmeat is still thriving in Africa! Not really trying to blame them, it's an old practice, and mainly gets attention in the context of endangered species. But yeah, I was watching a documentary or something that was about how Western scientists have outposts in some remote African locations specifically to collect strains of whatever virus they can find. To proactively be prepared for whatever might appear next.

johnnyzhivago January 27, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Isn't bushmeat a private joke that Barbara tells to all her daughters in laws???

HistoriCat January 27, 2012 at 8:45 pm
Sharkey January 27, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Yep, not a surprise.

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I just hope this Stacey Campfield doesn't give Rick Perry any ideas…

MzNicky January 28, 2012 at 10:04 am

Actually, that would explain where Rickah Purrah DOES get his ideas, if by "ideas" one means stupidly hateful made-up shit intended for consumption by one's stupid hateful constituents.

Extemporanus January 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Pssst…

Curious George is HIV Patient Zero.

(Pass it on.)

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Bi-Curious George. (How could you miss that one?!)

Extemporanus January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I decided to play it straight and let one of you monkey with it.

starfanglednut January 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Ba dump ump.

nounverb911 January 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm

So Campfield's the man with the yellow hat?

Extemporanus January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

That hat used to be white.

Extemporanus January 27, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Like most monkeys, he swings both ways.

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Man in the Yellow Hat libel!

I hear it was Swiper Swipes.

prommie January 27, 2012 at 4:42 pm

You have to admit, he's right about the theater. And he doesn't mention it, but politics, its the same way.

SorosBot January 27, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Pfft, where you been, Homer? Entire steel industry's gay. Yeah, aerospace too. And the railroads! And you know what else? Broadway!

Biff January 27, 2012 at 5:23 pm

According to Signorile, we're all gay around the edges.

starfanglednut January 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Oh, I love gay steel mills!

Troglodeity January 27, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Well, we clearly need to ban unnatural flight.

ingloriousbytch January 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Campfield's mother was a whore who gave $20 handjobs behind the WalMart, if I recall correctly.

(See how that works Stacey? )

anniegetyerfun January 27, 2012 at 5:22 pm

$20? You must be recalling incorrectly. She was a lefty, for one thing, and charged $12. IF I RECALL CORRECTLY.

Even if I don't recall correctly, he hasn't denied it, so it must be true.

chicken_thief January 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

By any chance did she did have on a really shitty wig and co-incidentally, also be named "Stacey"? If I recall correctly, he and her haven't been seen together for years.

Indiepalin January 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm

The entire AIDS epidemic was started by the zany on-screen antics of the cast of Three's Company. John Ritter? Dead. Norman Fell? Dead. Don Knotts? Dead. Neidermeyer?

chascates January 27, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Plus Suzanne Somers is as goofy as a run-over dog now.

Extemporanus January 27, 2012 at 4:53 pm

"Hey, sailor. Come here often?"

meatlofer January 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Well they were the first ASSTRONAUTS.

fuflans January 27, 2012 at 4:51 pm

twisting the knife all the way through the chest of America and then pulling it out the other side. And then pushing it back through to create a nice big hole, putting his arm through, waving, making an obscene gesture.

waiting for 'Django Unchained' are we, liz?

johnnyzhivago January 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm

This guy is going places in the GOP!

coolhandnuke January 27, 2012 at 4:53 pm

…look at television and plays and theaters, it’s 50 percent of the theaters,

In Campbell's small Tennessee town they have two theaters–The Heteroplex and the Man on Monkey Mlie High Clubplex.

coolhandnuke January 27, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Also known as the Sinaplex.

imissopus January 27, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Stacey's jealous because he couldn't get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas.

owhatever January 27, 2012 at 4:56 pm

That pilot's name was Newt Gingrich.

chicken_thief January 27, 2012 at 6:35 pm

But, let's see – he was just hired to teach in flight history, amirite?

KeepFnThatChicken January 27, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Why can't Christians just admit they love teh cock?

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 11:01 pm

"There's nothing wrong with sucking dicks. Men do it, women do it; can't be all bad if everybody's doing it." — George Carlin

MzNicky January 28, 2012 at 10:08 am

Because then Jesus would send them all straight to HAY-ell.

MarionNYNY January 27, 2012 at 4:58 pm

"I think a lot of times these young teens and young children, they find it very hard on themselves and unfortunately some of them commit suicide." Especially after getting the shit beaten out of them on a daily basis by other teens who are secretly terrified that they too might have a touch of the gay.

"it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly" I wonder if it was t Lenny Bruce's friend Morty, the one who also killed Jeebus because he didn't want to become a doctor.

C_R_Eature January 27, 2012 at 4:58 pm

The Sexual Tension in that office must be unbearable.

Generation[redacted] January 27, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Especially for the monkeys.

C_R_Eature January 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm

"Dammit, Stacey! Leave the Monkeys alone! They've still got Twelfth Night to type today!"

chicken_thief January 27, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Their tenure as Palin tweet composers has ended?!

C_R_Eature January 27, 2012 at 7:20 pm

They spelled too well. Sarah got jealous & had Todd fire them.

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:52 pm

On, that was so full of win…

JackObin January 27, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I'll bet it was that Clarence Oveur. Him and his "Modern Sperm" Magazine.

MarionNYNY January 27, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I blame Stacey's parents for giving him a gender neutral name.

lochnessmonster January 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm

WWhat does that say about the ppl in that state who actually voted him into office?

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Okay, this is as good a place as any to say this: Staci is unfortunately a tireless campaigner. He goes door-to-door in my neighborhood several times each election season. Last time he knocked on my door, I told him I'd swear out a restraining order if he ever set foot on my porch again. Sure enough, two weeks later he came back.

HistoriCat January 27, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I'm sure all that walking is good for working off some of that sexual frustration.

Sharkey January 27, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Is there a heart over the "i"?

MzNicky January 28, 2012 at 10:10 am

How'd you know!

sharethegrief January 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Out of necessity, Stacey and Santorum often share a room at Motel 6.

BZ1 January 27, 2012 at 5:03 pm

"if I recall correctly," famous last words …

Slim_Pickins January 27, 2012 at 5:05 pm

In Tennessee, its not gay sex if its with an uncle or male cousin. Its just family values.

DemonicRage January 27, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Did the guy who screwed the monkey phone this Tennessee State Legislator as soon as the weekend was over, or was it pillow talk that the two of them shared, because, when the pilot is in town, he always bunks with Stacey. That's how he KNOWS, right?

aguacatero January 27, 2012 at 5:09 pm

That's not a proper use of "if I recall correctly."

IceCreamEmpress January 27, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Nah, it's the same rhetorical construction as "For your convenience" or "I don't mean to be racist, but…"

Sharkey January 27, 2012 at 9:10 pm

… if I offended anyone.

MzNicky January 28, 2012 at 10:11 am

"with all due respect … "

MarionNYNY January 27, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Monkey-loving? In Tennessee it's ok to love on your sister or brother, or maybe a farm animal if one is handy, but a monkey???? That's just sick.

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2012 at 5:15 pm

His figures are off. Way more than 50% of Tennessee Williams plays have the Gay. Usually he writes poetry and kills himself.

TanzbodenKoenig January 27, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Rocky Top, you'll always be
Homo free, to me!
Good ole Rocky Top (wooh)
Homo free Tennessee

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Rocky was a Top.

C_R_Eature January 27, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Monkey Chunks, you'll always be
Home Sweet Home to me!
Good Ol' Monkey Chunks
Monkey Chunks, Tennessee

(Repeat)

MzNicky January 28, 2012 at 10:14 am

You know what the really fun thing is? Knoxville was named last week as one of the "gayest" towns in the country! haw haw, you shoulda seen the wingtards' posts on the local news site at that one. Mercifully the comments were quickly shut down, as usual.

TanzbodenKoenig January 28, 2012 at 11:11 am

Yea, as a resident of Knoxville though I don't really get it, theres plenty of gays here but Johnson City and Chattanooga I always thought were popular places for them to live too – Knoxville is pretty damn redneck still

LeAlbatross January 27, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Tertiary syph. The only explaination for this guy.

joobajooba January 27, 2012 at 5:17 pm

You can rearrange the letters in his name to spell "Mystic fecal ape," with a D left over

anniegetyerfun January 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm

D Mystic Fecal Ape will be the name of my new jazz trio.

Biff January 27, 2012 at 5:32 pm

(D) TN

Jukesgrrl January 27, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Roger Ailes will have your contract ready on Monday morning.

BarackMyWorld January 27, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community — it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall.

Apparently someone saw this and thought it was a documentary.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Do you like… *gladiator movies*, Stacy?

imissopus January 28, 2012 at 2:56 am

That was wrong on so many levels.

C_R_Eature January 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm

What's to become of Good Od Stacey? When will he be found Out?
Hey, I know – let's Play "Clue"!

Naked, in the Basement, with Colonel Mustard
with a Dildo-Festooned Candelabra.

I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

JimNauseam January 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

This jackoff thinks the Scopes Monkey Trial was how Proctor & Gamble developed Mint.

Dashboard Buddha January 27, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Holy sweet jesus jumped up christ

thefrontpage January 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Stacey Campfield is surely gay–everyone knows this, right?

Taking bets in the Weekly Hypocritical Politican Pool on how long it is until Campfield is caught in some type of homosexual encounter with a man 20 years younger than him.

I'll start off the pool by guessting mid-February, 2012.

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Down here in his district, we've been playing that pool for a long time. He's a nimble one, I'll give him that.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 11:36 pm

mid-February, 2012.
\
Thereby giving his constituency a truly memorable Valentine's Day.

Dashboard Buddha January 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I would point out that AIDS is mostly spread by ignorance, but I thing this would me lost on this moron.

HeadsIWin January 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm

God hate gays so he filled them with theater talent and forced them to leave the beautiful state of Tennessee to us geniuses who like going old school with that there bible.
Vote Santurum.

DrunkIrishman January 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

HIS NAME IS STACEY LLLLOOOOOOLLLLZZZZ

littlebigdaddy January 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Haha, Stacey can't even keep his gay stereotypes "straight." My partner was a medical journalist in the 80s and the index case of AIDS was a male flight attendant. And French Canadian. But I guess Stacey likes teh butch, so he is masturbating about a big hairy captain.

IceCreamEmpress January 27, 2012 at 8:26 pm

And the monkey-fucking. Because what the hell. Or maybe he is just so crazy racist that he elides all the steps between "Gaetan Dugas is identified as 'Patient Zero' for AIDS" and "Gaetan Dugas contracts AIDS from sex he had in Africa" and "AIDS jumps from monkeys to humans in Africa via the butchering of monkeys for bushmeat" into "Some airline captain was fucking monkeys and that's how AIDS got started."

I'd hate to see his PowerPoint presentation on Mad Cow Disease!

NewtsChicknNeck January 27, 2012 at 6:48 pm

I'm sooooo goddamn disappointed in Knoxville. This fucker's district is basically the entire city–including the University, my alma mater (but thankfully not Stacey's). From his profile:

Single
Christian
Occupation: Real Estate Re-developer
B. S. Management Regents College
Associate's Degree, Broome Community College
Excelsior College, Associates in Marketing

So 43 year old single white male christian real estate re-developer arch conservative republican nutjob with questionable education credentials (yet somehow elected) with a virulently anti-gay agenda and homophobic worldview…where have I seen this before. 30 Rock?

MzNicky January 27, 2012 at 8:31 pm

"Real Estate Re-developer" = slumlord. Yet another thing for which this waste of space is notorious.

mavenmaven January 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm

This is guy is so totally a wide-stance-in-the-men's-room-scandal just waiting to happen.

littlebigdaddy January 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm

And a double-wide stance in the trailer park, of which Knoxville has no shortage.

littlebigdaddy January 27, 2012 at 7:03 pm

He's got a purty mouth.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Attached to his dick.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 27, 2012 at 9:08 pm

"My understanding is that it is virtually — not completely, but virtually — impossible to contract AIDS through heterosexual LESBIAN sex "

This is now a factual statement.

Trinket January 27, 2012 at 9:09 pm

If *I* recall correctly, it was this guy who was at one time considered Patient Zero in the HIV epidemic in North America, and he was a flight attendant, not a pilot, and there is no record of him having sex with monkeys:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ga%C3%ABtan_Dugas

I read "And the Band Played On" when it came out, too, you shithead. Apparently I have a better memory than yours, and also I check my sources before spouting off fucking bullshit. Except maybe when I am drunk, but even then I'm not an elected fucking official. Fuck yourself with a fucking corkscrew.

MzNicky January 28, 2012 at 10:21 am

You give our Staci X way too much credit, my friend. He's proud of the fact that he's never read a book in his whole sorry life.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 27, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Also, too, NPR's science program Radiolab did a pretty through debunking of the "Patient Zero" story…as well as the "sex with monkeys" idiocy.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:24 pm

"There are sexually confused children who could be pushed into a lifestyle that I don’t think is appropriate with them and it’s not for the norm for society, and they don’t know how they can get back from that."

???
I thought it was, "once you go blah, you don't go back". Did they change that when I wasn't paying attention?

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:39 pm

So, they cut all the references to slavery and Indians out of the schoolbooks to make room for the "AIDS from Monkeys, you Hellbound Homos" chapter?

AlterNewt January 27, 2012 at 10:01 pm

This is good news for St. Augustine. The guy, not the place.

mrblifil January 27, 2012 at 10:15 pm

What the fuck is a Tennessee conservative doing talking about "theaters?" And what's all this about kids "not being able to come back" from accidentally being exposed to gayness. How exactly does he know of the addictive allure of gay cooties? Personal experience I'm guessing (every Tuesday and Friday when he tells his wife he's taking the "long route" home).

SheriffRoscoe January 28, 2012 at 12:32 am

He likes to take the "thick route" home too, on occasion.

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:06 pm

My God, I am absolutely speechless. I honestly have nothing to say.

Dmlweidnlkdbgppgems?!

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Why do I get the feeling that this guy likes to dress up in antebellum drag and pretend that he's the wife of a Savannah crab fisherman while sitting on his veranda sipping sweat tea on a hot, summer's day whilst fanning himself with with the urgency of now and letting out overdramatic sighs of impatience?

Why, I do declare!

Negropolis January 27, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I hear that Stacie raped and killed a chimp in a Knoxville restroom in 1984…pass it on.

gogogodzilla January 28, 2012 at 1:17 am

So I guess Magic Johnson is the exception that proves the rule?

Troglodeity January 28, 2012 at 1:44 am

I always thought Sully Sullenberger was too good to be true.

HelmutNewton January 28, 2012 at 10:44 am

(Sigh!) These self-hating closeted Republicans are getting REALLY tiring.

Three_Stars January 28, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I am from Tennessee. I have lived here all of my life and in no way do I agree with this man on any level, nor do many that live here. Despite what some may say or think, we are not all a bunch of bible thumping backwards hicks. Some of us are able to form ideas, views, and opinions on our own, as well as receive an education and understand that a lot that happens within this state politically, is all bullshit.

HolyCow!! January 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Why not just say, "I hate gays" and be done with it?

Loaded_Pants January 28, 2012 at 8:08 pm

That is just too simple, it wouldn't make Campfield sound intelligent & stuff.

DahBoner January 28, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Homosexuals represent about 2 to 3 percent of the population yet you look at television and plays and theaters, it’s 50 percent of the theaters…

Well, you should look at upscale hair salons!!!

It's more like 99%…

Loaded_Pants January 28, 2012 at 8:05 pm

I doubt Campfield's ever been to one of them fancy plays. I think the only theater he's ever been in probably smelled of semen, Clorox, and the sweat of self-hating closet cases.

MissNancyPriss January 28, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Make "Stacey Campfield is GAY" the most googled phrase ever

ttommyunger January 28, 2012 at 8:46 pm

".. they find it very hard on themselves…." This motherfucker is so in the closet.

Negropolis January 28, 2012 at 11:06 pm

I hear crazy, ungodly things go on in campfields…let's start a new meme. A "bonfire" could be a really strange sex act at a "campfield."

dcjdjay January 29, 2012 at 12:49 am

Doesn't he represent 90% of the GOP?

Yes, he does.

labman57 January 29, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Just another conservative politician demonstrating his scientific illiteracy and unabashed ignorance of well-documented medical facts. Clearly he has no clue about the nature of the AIDS epidemic plaguing Africa today, nor the mechanisms through which HIV is spread.

mormos January 29, 2012 at 7:19 pm

couldn't read whole article cause RAAAAAGGGEEE!

EloquentScience January 30, 2012 at 8:28 am

If I recall correctly, this guy is an asshole.

stevedawn865 January 31, 2012 at 2:48 pm

you can hear an interview from yesterday by our east TN embarrassment over here: https://www.facebook.com/NewsTalk98.7
He continues to make Tennesseeans look like idiots (we aren't all like this… trust me!).

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 6:43 pm

You have an odd way of showing it.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Hey, some guys are *into* bears.

deelzebub January 27, 2012 at 6:55 pm

We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.–Zap Branigan

HistoriCat January 27, 2012 at 8:29 pm

There are not enough up-fists.

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 9:35 pm

It wasn't an easy decision to make, but I think this may be my favorite episode of Futurama.

OK, serious competition from the valentine candy and golden fiddle eps, but still…

tessiee January 27, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Why do you think Hardy Har Har was always groaning, "OH, LIPPY!"?

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