Palin Defends 'Angry Little Muffin' Newt Against Right-Wing Conspiracy

Internet mean girl Sarah Palin is forgoing her usual illiterate tweeting in order to defend, on teevee, Newt Gingrich, a multimedia huckster who may or may not have illegally promised Palin a cabinet position in his fantasy moon presidency. The former governor must have really pissed someone off at Fox because she's been relegated to commentating on some closed-circuit feed called Fox Business News, where she told John Stossel that the establishment (BOO!) is "trying to crucify this man and rewrite history and rewrite what it is that he has stood for all these years." Never change, Sarah. Never change!

Apparently there has been some sort of vast right-wing conspiracy to "McCain" Gingrich's candidacy by painting Newt as a volatile, irascible old coot. ATTENTION ALL RIGHT-WING SPECIAL OPS BRIGADES WITHIN THE SOUND OF OUR VOICE: this covert mission is a waste of your money. Just let Newt keep talking about space colonizations further and further afield of any known solar system and this problem will take care of itself. For now though, according to the Huffington Post, Republican operatives insist on going through with it anyway:  

On Thursday, a number of conservative media figures launched an anti-Gingrich salvo -- highlighted by the right-leaning Drudge Report as a coordinated effort -- criticizing him as temperamental, unpredictable, and a historical foil to President Ronald Reagan during his tenure in Congress during the 1980s.

Of course this week's barrage wasn't the first time Gingrich has been put in the conservative media's crosshairs. During his first surge in the polls late last year, columnists from George Will to Peggy Noonan, who characterized him as an "angry little attack muffin," cast doubt on Gingrich's leadership credentials.

Sarah Palin, a corporate entity usually known for a free-wheeling, "letting bygones be bygones" style, is still miffed at Peggy Noonan, probably because Peggy SINGLE-HANDEDLY DESTROYED SARAH PALIN'S CREDIBILITY, at least in Sarah's alternate reality where she overcame the public's doubts to become President-for-Life and then sent Peggy to Gitmo forever. Here, Palin works out her feelings with Noonan by drawing clumsily, like a child victim in an episode of "Law and Order":

"They maybe subscribe such characterization of Newt via words like that, but they don't subscribe those to say Mitt Romney when he or his surrogates do the same thing. That's that typical hypocrisy stuff in the media you know I've lived with over a couple of decades in the political arena," she said. "It is hypocritical of the media to subscribe to one candidate and not another, that kind of 'angry attack muffin' verbiage to one and not the other."

They maybe subscribe, indeed. [ HuffPo ]