INVASION DAY  1:55 pm January 26, 2012

Indigenous Australian Heroes Nearly Capture Australian Prime Minster

by Wonkette Jr.

Occupy Everything.In a bold strike of the kind we hope to see in a lot of nations this year, a protesting group of indigenous people mobbed Australian prime minster Julia Gillard and opposition leader Tony Abbott from a fancy 1% restaurant in the capital of Canberra — Gillard and Abbott were about to be torn apart, but their security teams managed to drag the politicians to safety. Why all the excitement? Because right-winger Tony Abbott suggested tearing down the aboriginal “tent embassy” erected 40 years ago in protest of two centuries of brutal oppression by the colonizing Europeans. Things are very weird in Australia! It’s sort of like if America went straight from the Old West/Plantation Era directly to the Earth Day hippie Beatles world circa 1970, with nothing in the middle.

Here’s what the newspapers and websites are looking like today, in Australia:

Yowza

The tent embassy is not a “legal structure,” and is actually (according to Wikipedia), “a controversial semi-permanent assemblage claiming to represent the political rights of Australian Aborigines. It is made of a group of activists, signs and tents that reside on the lawn of Old Parliament House in Canberra, the Australian capital.”

It’s as if the Native American seizure of Alcatraz Island back in 1969 had lasted not for 18 months, but for four decades. A great inspiration to Occupation Movements worldwide, of course — and that’s exactly why Tony Abbott is suggesting it’s time to “move on” from letting long-oppressed native people keep their story right in the face of Australia’s politicians, year after year. It has held the same spot on Old Parliament Hill for twenty years now.

It is an effective story, too, because even the most venal Murdoch supplicant in Australian politics is remarkably “politically correct” about the indigenous people of Australia. Real justice would involve the aboriginal people taking control of Canberra entirely, but a more likely result will be that Gillard’s government moves quickly to establish a permanent “tent embassy” on the hill, an idea that has been knocked around for seven years now with no progress.

An indigenous elder apparently picked up Julia Gillard’s right shoe, lost in the tussle, and it will be auctioned off for a Good Cause.

Thursday’s protest marks “Australia Day,” when the first English and Irish convicts were dumped near present-day Sydney, to die. Indigenous people refer more accurately to the federal holiday as “Invasion Day.” [Sydney Morning Herald/Courier Mail with reporting by Wonkette operative "Danny O." in Acton, Australia]

 
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{ 117 comments }

nounverb911 January 26, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Put another Gillard on the barbie! Matey.

StarsUponThars January 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Tent embassy libel!

Barb January 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

"An indigenous elder apparently picked up Julia Gillard’s right shoe, lost in the tussle, and it will be auctioned off for a Good Cause.'

Something tells me that the other shoe is about to drop there.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 2:21 pm

<groan>

jqheywood January 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Have you considered writing jokes for Barry?

Geminisunmars January 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Throw another barb on the barbie, Barb.

Local_Mojo January 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Aussies are Texans with British accents.

JerkCade January 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I've heard Australia referred to as 'Arkansas with beaches.'

Millennial Malaise January 26, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Australia: first in faraway destination vacations and prison colonies.

caitifty January 27, 2012 at 1:27 am

Texans who believe in socialized medicine, free education, and a strong welfare state.

nounverb911 January 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Australian's are people, too?

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

It could have been worse – they could have had to deal with Russel Crowe.

nounverb911 January 26, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Needs more flying telephones.

Baconzgood January 26, 2012 at 2:02 pm

CRIKEY!!!

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

G'day, mate! Throw another shrimp on the barbie!

MosesInvests January 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

"The time has come, to say fair's fair,
To pay the rent, to pay our share…."

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm

It belongs to them, LET'S GIVE IT BACK!

But they sleep in comfort and the world turns, and the Aboriginal people die from the white man's poison liquor as the lands they wandered for centuries are fenced against them. When does it end?

WhatTheHeck January 26, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Time has come to burn some midnight oil.

doloras January 26, 2012 at 5:15 pm

The guy who wrote that song is now a federal Labor Party MP.

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Which one is the singer for Midnight Oil?

EatsBabyDingos January 26, 2012 at 2:05 pm

How does this affect me, Sarah Palin?

Wonderthing January 26, 2012 at 2:05 pm

We are all waltzing with Matilda today.

Baconzgood January 26, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Is Yahoo Serious ok ?

EatsBabyDingos January 26, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Tojo never made it to Darwin. Hoodoo Gurus said so.

Limeylizzie January 26, 2012 at 2:08 pm

My name is Limeylizzie and I am a Pommie bastard.

nounverb911 January 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I love it when you talk dirty.

chascates January 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

OT but am watching Kathleen Turner on Tavis Smiley. Have you seen her one-woman Molly Ivins show?

Geminisunmars January 26, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Ooooh. That sounds good.

Limeylizzie January 26, 2012 at 2:32 pm

No, but reviews were good, I believe, and she is pretty fabulous onstage especially now that is older.

Tundra Grifter January 26, 2012 at 2:40 pm

2L: She did a pretty good job in "Body Heat."

chascates January 26, 2012 at 2:43 pm

The clips Tavis played sure made you think she was Molly. The show's been extended and is at the Geffen Theater in Lalaland.

jqheywood January 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Howdy Sheila! What braaanch of pheelosophy will you be teaching here at the University of Wallamaloo?

HateMachine January 26, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Your name is Limeylizzie? Well, that's going to cause a little confusion.

Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?

WhatTheHeck January 26, 2012 at 3:53 pm

cor blimey mate. You are both a pommie and a Limey. No scurvy there.

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 2:08 pm

OWS could take a lesson from these folks.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Hear hear.

Mort_Sinclair January 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

The infamous pepper-spraying cop Jim Pike should apply for emergency asylum in Australia. Gillard needs him stat.

imissopus January 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I'm telling you people, all that Vegemite really angries up the blood.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I thought it was the Bovril. Weak beef tea, anyone?

bumfug January 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Mark Wahlberg woulda kicked all their asses.

MissTaken January 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

They need more Mic Check to really make it count.

EatsBabyDingos January 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

So did he take the shoe after the house fell on her?

Baconzgood January 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

In Australia snow falls up.

sarah_connor January 26, 2012 at 3:45 pm

and, the toilets flush backwards!

deanbooth January 26, 2012 at 5:54 pm

"Wee that live now at Peru, and inhabite that parte of the worlde which is opposite to Asia and theire Antipodes, finde not ourselves to bee hanging in the aire, our heades downward and our feete on high." — Jesuit missionary Joseph Acosta, ~1560

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

tfa/dc
(too far away, don't care)

freakishlywrong January 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

"That's nawt a raeht, mate, THIS is a raeht"

littlebigdaddy January 26, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I hope they washed down their lunch with some Chateau Wagawaga ("It has the bouquet of an Aborigines armpit.")

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I'm not sure why, but this offends me. Are Aborigines' armpits any worse than a foul Ocker's? I've experienced a lot of smelly Ockers close up, but only met one Aboriginal, and she was beautiful and not in the least bit smelly.

littlebigdaddy January 26, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Ozzies hate that sketch–don't know whether because of the racism or the slander of Australian wines. Prolly the latter.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 7:31 pm

The only Australian friends I have would say its the racism. But then, they're probably in the minority, just as we are here.

MosesInvests January 26, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Or maybe Chateau Chunder-"This is a woine with a missage, and the missage is 'Beware!'".

LionHeartSoyDog January 26, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Kath and Kim? Is that you?

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 3:10 pm

What's it made out of? Limburger cheese?

EatsBabyDingos January 26, 2012 at 2:14 pm

This is the environmental catastrophe that comes from invasive species. Zebra mussels, English ivy, Cedar Rapids dingoes, the Irish.

Foster's: Australian for Budweiser.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 2:28 pm

It was the English who invaded. The Irish, they sent there in chains by the boatfull, where many men died from the sickness and heartbreak, as indentured servants or slaves, for the crime of trying to teach their own children the Irish language and culture and customs, or for the stealing of bread.

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm

"The OWS have got a protest."
"That's not a protest."
[he points at the 40-year tent embassy.]
"THAT's a protest."

savethispatient January 26, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Given the score from Adelaide (Australia 604/7d & 50/3 v India 272), it seems they celebrated by beating some other non-white people.

doloras January 26, 2012 at 5:17 pm

That's not a cricket result. This is a cricket result, said the resident Kiwi.

savethispatient January 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm

The phrase "New Zealand won" still shocks me :)

Baconzgood January 26, 2012 at 2:17 pm

You know what? I don't give a shit about Australia. In fact I hate them. You wanna know why? True story: I went to The Outback once and they fucked up my order.

EatsBabyDingos January 26, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Blamin' Onions Libel!

Allmighty_Manos January 26, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Bloomin Onions!

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 2:49 pm

I had a similar experience; also, I don't think the chick that waited my table was really from Australia, either.

WhatTheHeck January 26, 2012 at 4:00 pm

C’mon Baconz, everyone knows before you sit down for dinner, you go walkabout in the Outback so they don’t fuck up your order, mate.

fuflans January 27, 2012 at 1:59 am

this is really really funny baconz and i think i am in love with you.

again.

don't tell mr. fuflans.

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Australia's aboriginies=tent city.
America's aboriginies=fancy casinos.

Now that's American exceptionalism!!

chascates January 26, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I think Barry would be OK but I would have loved to see a few thousand of our 'Native' Americans confront George W. Bush.

pdiddycornchips January 26, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Barry is the same uber elite douche GWB was only a little prettier. Truthfully, would you miss him?

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 7:34 pm

You're so full of shit, the whole room's starting to smell. Man worked his way up from the bottom that you would never know about, you uber elite privileged douche with your white skin. His mama raised him on food stamps, you asshole, and he worked with the poor. And don't try to feed me any line of shit about how he sold out and he's someone else now. You don't know what it's like to live in a black person's skin. Until you do, stick your opinions back up your arse where they'll be comfortable next to your head.

pdiddycornchips January 27, 2012 at 11:53 am

Kiss my black ass. Hopey has been a corporate shill and that fact is evident if you'd take a look at what he's done, not just what he says. If he really gave two shits about what people like me and millions of the rest of us are going through, he'd have let the Bush tax cuts expire, fire Bernanke and Geithner and otherwise stop fellating the wealthy classes like an eager crack whore.

MittBorg January 27, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I apologize for attacking you the way I did. I still don't agree with you, but it was uncalled-for. It won't happen again.

And, just FYI, it has nothing to do with the blackness of your ass. People can be black outside and white inside. I have no idea if you're one of them, but that's not my business, it's yours. Just as my castigation of you had nothing to do with you, but with me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to attack you.

edgydrifter January 26, 2012 at 2:22 pm

France would like to thank Australia for distracting Wonkette with some juicier southern-hemisphere racial insensitivity.

mavenmaven January 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm

A little more beer, mates, and everything will be good on ya…

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 26, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Don't worry. This will all be taken care of when Newt as President places a base on Australia, making sure that it is ruled by freedom.

Guppy January 26, 2012 at 2:25 pm

That's it, I'm gonna move to Candada New Zealand!

Biff January 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm

In other news, Happy Australia Day, my wonkeets!

ifthethunderdontgetya January 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm

even the most venal Murdoch supplicant in Australian politics is remarkably “politically correct”

So we get the worst of the worst over here, eh?

Where's the FTC when you need 'em?
~

Goonemeritus January 26, 2012 at 2:30 pm

“Indigenous people refer more accurately to the federal holiday as “Invasion Day”

For Manhattan Invasion day is Oct. 24, commemorating the sad day in 1931 when the George Washington Bridge allowed unrestricted access to the hoards from New Jersey.

Guppy January 26, 2012 at 2:33 pm

What happened before then? Jerseyites got bogged down in the Bronx?

James Michael Curley January 26, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Little do you know. We were crawling through the Holland Tunnel since 1927. Then, disguised as Chinese laborers from the laundries on Canal Street we moved uptown to 178th Street to anchor the bridge. Then while you suckers were preoccupied with starving migrant workers from the south we finished the Lincoln Tunnel during the Great Depression, the Great One not this pissant thing now. We can be clearly heard in your Wednesday Matinee's "accidentally forgetting" to turn off our cell phones.

meatlofer January 26, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Things went to shit down there,right after that Crocodile Hunter stepped on that raccoon,or whatever the fuck it was.

poorgradstudent January 26, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Being big on rights for indigenous people I have to say this is like Christmas, my eighteenth birthday, and Paycheck Day wrapped up in one.

weej_bain January 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm

They'll be reopening the penal colony recreational centre at Port Arthur in 3, 2, 1…

prommie January 26, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I love Australia for making Meryl Streep ridiculous with that crappy accent and screaching "a dingo got my didgereedoo!"

Allmighty_Manos January 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Only Angus Young can calm this crowd down

HateMachine January 26, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you! Amen!

MosesInvests January 26, 2012 at 2:57 pm

G'day, Bruce!

pdiddycornchips January 26, 2012 at 2:40 pm

The world needs new elites. The ones we have now suck ass. A thinning of the herd is in order. Let the movement begin! From this day forward, no elite douche bag is ever going to feel safe in a fancy restaurant. Wingnuts will soon regret that no eating fetuses thing.

Tundra Grifter January 26, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Your move, Arizona!

elviouslyqueer January 26, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Some heady stuff from the Adelaide linky:

Paul of Townsville posted: So no charges are going to lay anginist these people , why that. We know why, one rule for them and one rule for us.

Brenton S of Adelaide posted: The problem lies in our Government continually pandering to extreme minority groups who are favoured over the democratic process of representing all or the majority of Australians.

James of SA posted: Who's the thief with the shoe?

Faire attention, France! This is how you do racism.

SayItWithWookies January 26, 2012 at 2:57 pm

"Extreme minority group?!" They were there for 40,000 years, maybe more. The mind just boggles.

doloras January 26, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Yeah, and in all that time they never even invented cricket. What more proof do you need that they deserved invading?

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Are they WHITE? NO? Next question.

You have no idea how bad theyhave it still. Friend of mine used to work on Aboriginal issues up in Darwin. God, those people have almost been exterminated and what's left of them ain't nothing to be proud of.

Although I suppose the same could be said for the Aboriginals of the Americas.

HateMachine January 26, 2012 at 3:00 pm

That's the best display of ignorance they can manage in their Australian comment threads? Adorable.

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 3:15 pm

So Australia has Tea Baggers too?

doloras January 26, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Yes, and Tony Abbot is their leader.

coolhandnuke January 26, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Australia's PM and opposition leader should know better than to dine at a restaurant named INXS.

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm

You shouldn't fuck with the Aborigines; these are a people who have spent tens of thousands of years in a land where every goddamn animal has deadly poison, damn right they're tough.

Pres.Beeblebrox January 26, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Mmmm, witchety grubs…

widestanceshakedown January 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Yummy bloke rescuing her is yummy.

Guppy January 26, 2012 at 2:51 pm

All I know about Australian history came from watching Quigley Down Under.

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Shoe? Should have followed the gourd.

OneYieldRegular January 26, 2012 at 2:53 pm

"A dingo ate my Prime Minister!"

gurukalehuru January 26, 2012 at 2:56 pm

40 acres and a 'roo?

SayItWithWookies January 26, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Tony Abbott and all the other right-wing racist white Australians would look wonderful after a year or so wandering around the outback in bare feet and living on roots and witchety grubs like the people they criticize did for forty thousand years before Abbott's ancestors got there. Of course they might not be identifiable by anything but dental records, but when you're trying to teach someone a lesson, the occasional risk is worth it.

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 3:24 pm

So, you're trying to tell me that The Road Warrior is not an accurate portrayal of life in modern Australia?

owhatever January 26, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Occupy Bondi Beach!

iburl January 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm

If she is a Democratic prime minister I'm outraged at these lawless protesters. If she's a Republican prime minister, I'm outraged at her insensitive policies. If neither label applies in Australia, then I don't have any comment.

doloras January 26, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Equivalents:

Julia Gillard = Hilary Clinton
Tony Abbott = Newt Gingrich

FrankChasseur January 26, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Actually, Tony Abbot is head of the Liberal Party, and a staunch anti-Republican.

worrierqueen January 26, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Gillard's Mittens in Hilary's clothing. Although not Mormon, she's living in sin, so hard to tell the difference.

ttommyunger January 26, 2012 at 11:26 pm

I haven't said this nearly as often as I should have, but my God that is an unfuckably ugly woman.

mandsb January 27, 2012 at 12:07 am

Some of us whiteys call it Invasion Day too, and don't think there's much celebratin' to be had.

mandsb January 27, 2012 at 12:08 am

Also, we are beating India in the cricket so all is well down under.

Manda from Melbourne

glenhuntly January 30, 2012 at 2:39 am

Listen for a second.
The embassy is ignored, or not held in high regard by most indigenous Australians. Indigenous citizens, who work across all sectors of society- health, academia etc, have no interest in their counterparts who choose to live in a slum for some kind of political gesture. It is a fringe activity.
Tony Abbott spends his holidays every year volunteering in remote Aboriginal communities. He doesn't brag about this. The Occupy movement certainly don't do it.
He did not call for the ten embassy to be cleared. He suggested that race relations should "move on" from debates of forty years ago, and his close colleagues in the indigenous community have backed him on this. He is not racist.
The Aboriginal tent embassy occupants have clearly stated they are disappointed that "occupy-type" people hijacked their protest.

Convicts were in no way sent here "to die". They were sent here because the country was considered a prison – they were put to work on what was effectively a prison farm and were expected to form communities in the colonies. Some colonies were indeed the equivalent of maximum-security prisons (eg Norfolk Island), but these were few. In the end they took over the colonies: a forger started what is now our largest bank and various other petty criminals reformed and ended up running the society.

Lastly, the restaurant was not a "1%" affair. The event hijacked by the government officials was held to honour and thank volunteers from all walks of life who had contributed to society. All over our country services such as community fire brigades are staffed (given the long distances) by local communities, everyone from the local garbageman to, yes that's right, Tony Abbott the Opposition leader himself, who has been a volunteer for years.

RobbieBRwlid February 1, 2012 at 7:34 pm

I always knew that most Americans were as thick as two short planks in relation to history, geography or indeed any topic without a US context. But the comment that "English and Irish convicts we're dumped near present day Sydney and left to die" is surely one of the most stupid things ever written about Australia. However coming from a country who would elect Obama president i think says it all.

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