THE ONE PERCENTIEST  12:25 pm January 26, 2012

Romney Would Like You to Believe His Tax Rate Is ‘Closer to 40 or 50 Percent’

by Liz Colville

Where were you when you found out Mitt Romney made $42.5 million in two years? On the toilet, as you are now? Well the truth is that this Republican f—-runner would like to downplay this significant Event in our country’s history by telling you that, actually, he paid ‘closer to 40 or 50 percent’ in taxes in 2010 and 2011. Oh, that’s great, sorry, it’s just that tax returns are so hard to understand and we just thought the amount that you paid in taxes was the amount you paid in taxes, but apparently it’s actually any money that you spent that did not go towards making you or your houses prettier.

Oh, this is a dizzying one. In the above interview with Univision’s Jorge Ramos, Romney was asked whether it is fair that he pays a 13 percent tax rate.

Romney responded that “Well, actually, I released two years of taxes and I think the average is almost 15 percent.” Almost 15 percent. Clearly that sounded ridiculous coming out of his mouth, so he decided to try to scrounge up another 30 to 35 percent somehow:

And then also, on top of that, I gave another more 15 percent to charity. When you add it together with all of the taxes and the charity, particularly in the last year, I think it reaches almost 40 percent that I gave back to the community. One of the reasons why we have a lower tax rate on capital gains is because capital gains are also being taxed at the corporate level. So as businesses earn profits, that’s taxed at 35 percent, then as they distribute those profits as dividends, that’s taxed at 15 percent more. So, all total, the tax rate is really closer to 45 or 50 percent.

Oh, that makes TOTAL SENSE. So because corporations get taxed before they give you your interest and dividends, you are really secretly paying a 35 percent tax rate, because corporations are people and therefore people are also corporations? Interesting. But does Bain Capital even pay a 35 percent tax on its revenue? As Think Progress points out, many Fortune 500 companies pay far less than 35 percent, and some don’t pay any tax.

Even if Bain does pay 35 percent, this is like saying that the average American employer reduces the salaries of its employees because it has to factor in the corporate taxes that it will have to pay every year. Even if they did, the employees still have to pay 25 to 35 percent on that income. In every scenario, Romney loses.

Bottom line, we all know that Romney made this “dividends-as-income” deal with his employer expressly so that his income would not only be spread out across as many years as possible, but would also be taxed at a nearly nonexistent rate. It’s called a get-rich-quick scheme, and for some reason it’s legal. Now what simply amounts to greed is coming back to bite Romney in the ass, and he is fully aware of his own evilness. It’s why he’s finding himself saying — in the very same interview — things like:

I want to help the 99 percent.

We don’t want your help.

And you know it’s bad when a person worth 32 times the amount you’re worth is giving a eulogy for your presidential bid on Twitter:

heh

[ThinkProgress]

 
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{ 189 comments }

Barb January 26, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I'll bet you $10,000.00 he's lying.

JustPixelz January 26, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Newt could cover that bet with 10 minutes of speaking fees. Or 1/50th of his Tiffany's line-of-credit. Or a few seconds of lobbying historian-ing for his johns clients.

lulzmonger January 26, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Make it 10,000 lire & I'm in!

nounverb911 January 26, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Isn't math a requirement from graduating from Harvard B-school?

Sue4466 January 26, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Yeah, but you can opt-out if you get an A in bullshit.

JustPixelz January 26, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Of course not. In "B-204 Minions and Sycophants" future Captains of Industry are taught how to avoid pesky facts and other details.

Maman January 26, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Yes, but so is statistics. I think they use this textbook: How to Lie With Statistics http://www.amazon.com/How-Lie-Statistics-Darrell-

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

George W. Bush would say no.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

You can choose between math and "Hiring Accountants 101".

Crank_Tango January 26, 2012 at 12:28 pm

What's a fartrunner?

nounverb911 January 26, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Newt?

Gleem_McShineys January 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Crank_Tango January 26, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Also too, when he says he gave 15% to charity, does he mean his tithe to the church?

nounverb911 January 26, 2012 at 12:30 pm

All of it, Katie.

Crank_Tango January 26, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Yeah I am just wondering how much that fucker gave to prop 8, and how you could call that charity work or giving back to the community.

Fare la Volpe January 26, 2012 at 1:27 pm

It's "charity" in that the Mormons don't need to disclose where it came from; it's "giving back" because Romney is paying back all those wonderful gays who supported him during his governor race; and it's helping the "community" of self-righteous polygamist bigots tell the rest of the world how to live their own goddamn lives.

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Exactly; he's giving money to religion, a harmful force in society. He's not "giving back" with that money; he's actively making things worse.

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Well some of it went to his family charity, which only gives most of its donations to the LDS.

Still, I agree that the Mormons, from what I've seen, would be hard pressed to prove what community service they really provide- waking people up on weekends with visits from annoying young men? Propping up the polyester pants and short sleeved shirt industries? Converting people without their knowledge or consent, "for their own good"?

Generation[redacted] January 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

If we all gave 15% to his church, there wouldn't be a deficit! BTW my tax rate is something like 185%.

nonbeliever7 January 26, 2012 at 1:17 pm

You work for Fox News?

HateMachine January 26, 2012 at 1:12 pm

He does, and it's also worth noting that he used it as a tax deduction.

paris biltong January 26, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I tithe to (?) the supermarket and also to the gas pump. I also give to the telephone company and the ISP, the clothing, sporting goods and video stores and a whole lot of other causes, so that I end up putting back into the community all that the government doesn't take. Must total about 100 percent. Fuck you, Mitt.

Fare la Volpe January 26, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Gas pumps are people too, my friend. Just look at Newt Gingrich.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Gas Pump Libel! At least a gas pump spews out something useful.

memzilla January 26, 2012 at 12:29 pm

SPECIOUS ARGUMENT ALERT. Except for the fact that the rest of us 99% are taxed on our income and taxed again on whatever we buy. Elitist dickhead.

LOGIC FAIL AT 0×000001.
POPULISM FAIL AT 0×000099.
MEMORY CORRUPTION AT 0×000014.

The system has halted. Please reboot Mittbot 2.0.

An_Outhouse January 26, 2012 at 12:44 pm

All those waiters, waitresses, and hairdressers don't have to pay any taxes on their tips because that money was already taxed. right? All the money I spend is not treated as revenue by the establishments where I spend it because its already been taxed – right? Mittbot dereferenced a null pointer.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 26, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I'm following Mitt rules with my taxes this year. Since someone must have paid taxes on the money I've made before I was paid, as I didn't find it on the floor of the Federal Reserve, I figure I can deduct 35% from anything I own.

Mitt rules Rule!

Gleem_McShineys January 26, 2012 at 1:10 pm

TEMPLE GARMENT CONTAINMENT FAILURE IMMINENT

James Michael Curley January 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Sounds like the next half time show at Brigham Young University.

larryfinexx January 26, 2012 at 12:30 pm

If Romney saves his money he will be able to afford a manhattan apartment soon.

Sue4466 January 26, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Just for the record, donating money to charity is not paying taxes. Even if you consider it went to the Mormons, a tithe is not a tax.

OneYieldRegular January 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

And that you can deduct it from your taxes as a "charitable contribution" means that you're not really paying anything or helping anyone – you're just improving your bottom line and buying support (in this case) for your campaign. I think in other countries this is called "corruption" or something like that.

chascates January 26, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Pretty high rate for a guy who considers himself unemployed.

JustPixelz January 26, 2012 at 12:31 pm

"So, all total, the tax rate is really closer to 45 or 50 percent."

Apparently he agrees the tax rate on his type of non-labor income should be taxed at 45-50%. We're just left with a disagreement over the arithmetic and accounting used to get there.

PhilippePetain January 26, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Man, the dick on this guy.

RedneckMuslin January 26, 2012 at 12:37 pm

His humongous balls hide that tiny thing.

Geminisunmars January 26, 2012 at 12:42 pm

His dick is awash in gall.

Chichikovovich January 26, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I wouldn't put it quite that way. But it is true that when you look at him you see a huge dick.

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Looks like a penis, only smaller.

Chillwillard January 26, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Only Mitt's humanity rate is "closer to 40 or 50%"

KenLayIsAlive January 26, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Half man, half machine, all douchebag. MITT ROMNEY FOR ROBOPRESIDENT

Chichikovovich January 26, 2012 at 12:33 pm

" I gave another more 15 percent to charity. "

I assume that 10 of that 15 percent went to an organization that until Romney was in his thirties taught as fundamental doctrine that blacks were fundamentally inferior to whites, and were marked by God as such. An organization that currently is spending a king's ransom to ensure that gay parents will never be able to have their families legally recognized for what they are. [And, you know, it takes a family to raise a child, right Rick].

An_Outhouse January 26, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Everybody knows what great works of charity that the Mormon Church is known for, right? Because I can't name one.

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Making sure that gay people don't have equal rights in California?

Fare la Volpe January 26, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Brigham Young had a great charity going – the families of his compound would "donate" their daughters to his bedroom, and he would "give back" their own Aryan planet when they died.

memzilla January 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

It takes a village that we had to destroy in order to save it to raise a child.

HateMachine January 26, 2012 at 1:19 pm

It truly is the most American religion for American Americans in this, the most American of all the Americas.

Not_So_Much January 26, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Fuzzy Math?

FlownOver January 26, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I believe the correct term among the Party of the 1% is "Voodoo economics."

JustPixelz January 26, 2012 at 12:35 pm

"as businesses earn profits, that’s taxed at 35 percent, then as they distribute those profits as dividends, that’s taxed at 15 percent more"

My paycheck — for working (and writing Wonkette comments) — comes from similarly already-taxed money. So I guess I should add that same 50% to my tax rate. Sorry, Mitt — I know you pay more dollars than me, but your rate is still much lower than mine.

Boojum_Reborn January 26, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Um, no, sorry. I mean, Mittens is a lying sack of shit, but for other reasons. Salary and wages are a deductible business expense, so corporations don't pay taxes on income paid out in wages. Dividends, which come from profits, are taxed to the corporation before they are paid and then to the shareholder.

But carried interest, Mittens' scheme, was never taxed as a corporate profit, which is why he lies.

JustPixelz January 26, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Romney is arguing we tax when money is exchanged, so we tax the same dollar when it's a profit and when it's distributed and when it's spent over-and-over until it gets to retire in the Cayman Islands. Thus, my pay ultimately comes from some already-taxed money, regardless of how many hands it passed through on its way to me (and then to the liquor store).

Biel_ze_Bubba January 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Seems to me we'd prefer that corporations take those profits and invest them in building plants and creating jobs, no? Taxing dividends pushes the money toward tax-deductible capital spending and hiring.

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 12:36 pm

"I want to help the 99 percent."

Mitt, please send a check for a million and a half bucks (so I can clear a million after taxes) to:
Baldar T Flagass
69 Fuck You Lane
Fuck You, Fuxas 78666

That will be a good start.

Chillwillard January 26, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Holy shit, we are next door neighbors!

pdiddycornchips January 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

If he's serious about helping the 99%, I'll lend him my shotgun. It's best to tilt the head forward, place the barrel against the roof of your mouth and steady the butt end firmly between your knees

Sue4466 January 26, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Other unbelievable things Mittens would like us to believe:

That he knows what it's like to be afraid of getting pink slipped.
That he's unemployed.
That he cares about the 99%
That his dog liked being on the top of that car.
That he's a regular guy who knows how to do laundry.
That his underwear is magic.
That he is not a robot.

Boojum_Reborn January 26, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Here's (one) problem with that argument: Mitt declared 42.5 million in income. He kept, AFTER TAXES, 36.1675 million. So, if we attribute corporate taxes to Mitt (of which there were none, see carried fucking interest, dickhead), using his bullshit 35% rate, then his pre-tax income was 85 million, for doing not dick. Either way, fuck him.

Boojum_Reborn January 26, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Oh, and did Mittens tithe based on the corporate income? I thought not.

Biff January 26, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Tithes are supposed to be 10% of gross. I think SLC will be sharpening up their red pencils over this, possibly even rescind that quit-claim deed to that planet he bought.

An_Outhouse January 26, 2012 at 12:38 pm

So Romney's charity is going to invade Iran, bomb Cuba, reinvigorate the 'space coast', and send people to Mars? Because he said he wanted to do all of that the other night but he didn't offer to pay for any of it.

pdiddycornchips January 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

They will pay for this by cutting taxes on rich people.

ph7 January 26, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Now that donating to your religion constitutes "taxes", I'd like to know what he plans to about all those Cadillac Pastors living off the dole.

Callyson January 26, 2012 at 12:39 pm

"You see, my employer has already paid taxes on its revenues before it paid those of us who work for them. Therefore, this money has already been taxed and I should pay a lower payroll tax."
I think I'll try it. I'm sure the IRS agents could use a good laugh…

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 2:26 pm

And the same people bitch that 47% of Americans pay no taxes, because the taxes they pay on the pittance they earn gets returned as a refund. No mention of sales tax, fuel tax, property tax, etc. etc.

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 12:40 pm

And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark.
But while he was seeking with thimbles and care,
A Bandersnatch swiftly drew nigh
And grabbed at the Banker, who shrieked in despair,
For he knew it was useless to fly.
He offered large discount—he offered a check
(Drawn "to bearer") for seven-pounds-ten:
But the Bandersnatch merely extended its neck
And grabbed at the Banker again.
Without rest or pause—while those frumious jaws
Went savagely snapping around—
He skipped and he hopped, and he floundered and flopped,
Till fainting he fell to the ground.
The Bandersnatch fled as the others appeared
Led on by that fear-stricken yell:
And the Bellman remarked "It is just as I feared!"
And solemnly tolled on his bell.

Boojum_Reborn January 26, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Yes. This.

Gleem_McShineys January 26, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Bander-whut? Jan Brewer thread is over there.

FlownOver January 26, 2012 at 1:37 pm

And the most relevant lines:

" I have said it thrice:
What i tell you three times is true."

DerrickWildcat January 26, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Well that doesn't seem very fair. No wonder he wants to be the President.

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I'm not the world's biggest math genius, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way.

teebob2000 January 26, 2012 at 12:40 pm

He was counting on the gabbering browns at Univision to lose everything in translation.

Oblios_Cap January 26, 2012 at 12:42 pm

If he's only thought to include the highly regressive sales tax in his calculations, he might get closer to 60%.

Of course, sales tax hits the lower income folks a lot harder.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm

That's because they don't have the good sense to buy their yachts in the Cayman Islands.

freakishlywrong January 26, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Er..Rupert, you ARE the Retardlican establishment.

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Of course, Mitt also ignores that many of the off shore entities he's drawing money from exist solely for the reason of evading corporate taxes, so that's just stupid. And trying to claim carried interest is "double taxed" when it is really ordinary income getting a tax break is just insane. I mean, by his argument no one who draws a government paycheck should pay any tax, since every dime they get is the product of multiple levels of taxation before it gets to them (ie 100 percent of it has been taxed) and everyone knows you can't tax something any more than 100 percent.

Chillwillard January 26, 2012 at 12:43 pm

"I want to help the 99 percent."

We wanna help you too, Mitt – by keeping you out of the WH, where you don't belong.

RedneckMuslin January 26, 2012 at 12:49 pm

It's not an election, it's an intervention.

Chillwillard January 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

The show is called "Money Hoarders." Take note, A&E.

friendlyskies January 26, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Just don't get him a 99% job! Can you imagine how frustrating it would be if this dingbat had real responsibilities, like a waiter?

"Um, Mitt, I ordered a half vegetarian, half pepperoni pizza. This thing is 15% pepperoni, 15% ham and pineapple (barf), and 70% cheese. WTF, man?"

"Well ham, if you think about it, COMES from vegetables, because pigs eat vegetables. People forget that – it's like a double vegetable, and therefore 30% of the pizza. And cheese is also vegetarian. Pepperoni, on the other hand, is an entitlement, and we all have to make sacrifices to get the economy going again, except for me. That will be $375,000.

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Brilliant.

teebob2000 January 26, 2012 at 12:44 pm

"… and since EACH dollar I paid was at something like 45 or 50%, that means I paid eleventy-billion percent in total, really."

*well-practiced smirk*

"Hey, after the show you want to come do my lawn?"

V572 the Merciless January 26, 2012 at 12:45 pm

This is such utter bullshit, Mittens, and people won't buy it. Using that reason, you could argue that a minimum-wage-earning greeter at Walmart is really paying 60% tax because Walmart pays corporate taxes on the revenue it uses to compensate the orange-vested grandpa standing in the door.

Own it, Mitt: you're rich, and the system favors you, and you and your B-school compadres (talking about you, Chimpy) did everything you could to make it favor you more. You were born rich (to a father whose company made real stuff…well, okay, Ramblers) and got a lot richer by looting companies, and are still "earning" money for having done so.

You're not a "venture capitalist" who bankrolls nascent companies to advance their new ideas. You're a misadventure capitalist who borrows money to strip value from real companies and sell the remnants at auction.

It's nothing to be proud of, and it's good that you're trying to hide the true nature and consequences of your real life's work. But you can't. Sorry!

Chichikovovich January 26, 2012 at 12:59 pm

your father ran a real business that made real stuff, okay, Ramblers

What, no love for the Gremlin?

V572 the Merciless January 26, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Never! My ex-wife's first husband bought one new. Maybe the Pacer, but that was post-Rmoney.

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

The Romney family really does exemplify what has gone wrong with American business, don't they? It's Godfather Part I & II as a Mormon farce.

sunmusing January 26, 2012 at 1:09 pm

V…you really are MERCILESS. Thanks that was refreshing.

Fare la Volpe January 26, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Walmart pays corporate taxes on the revenue it uses to compensate the orange-vested grandpa standing in the door

Not anymore, seeing as Wal-Mart just announced that it's laying off thousands of the poor old blue hairs. Thank God they have all that Social Security and Medica–oh wait, no they don't.

V572 the Merciless January 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Not after Mittens gets elected and implements Ryan’s wonderful, wonderful plan!Oh wait, nobody who’s close to retirement will be cut off, they claim. But what they can’t guarantee is that the still-working Youngs will support a plan that is better for the Olds than it will be for them. Which is why us Olds are against it. They think we’re stupid, I guess.

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

To be clear though, Walmart does not pay taxes on salaries. Salaries are an expense; revenue/income is the money you bring in before paying expenses; profit is the money left after subtracting expenses; and profit is what gets taxed. (Accountants, correct me if I'm financially illiterate.)

V572 the Merciless January 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Well, it's complicated and boring. But employers pay Soshecurity and Medicare on employee payroll, plus state and federal unemployment. You're right that all that comes off the bottom line and reduces taxable profit. Mitt's argument that he “paid” corporate taxes by receiving less profit/income from Bain is true if he were the sole owner, but in truth he shares that corporate tax burden with all the other shareholders. I'm not an accountant but have been an employer, and stayed at a Holiday Inn Express once, and man did it suck.

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Yes, corporations would like to look at social security, medicare, and unemployment as corporate taxes, but they are really part of the total compensation for employees, i.e. a government-mandated portion of wages. So the workers are really the ones who are paying those taxes in the form of less take-home pay, not the corporations, n'est-ce pas? Of course, if the government didn't require all those payments, I don't think workers' take-home pay would magically embiggen; Corporations would pass the savings on to the Caymans.

V572 the Merciless January 26, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Exactamundo. It’s not at all clear that employees really pay both sides of SS or Medicare. Who says the employer would bump their salaries up if the requirement were eliminated?

The real mystery is how Mittens can have an IRA with $101 million in it when you can only contribute $15K/year. Maybe he’s older than he looks.

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Which is what they've been doing since 1981, when the Great American Job Migration began to enrich the lives of Third-World laborers and raise them up to the same standard of living that we enjoy in America today.
USA! FUCK YEAH!

Baconzgood January 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

So my company paid taxes which means I don't right?

DonnyKerabotsos January 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

It scalds me to say this, but I agree with Rupert.

Allmighty_Manos January 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"When you add it together with all of the taxes and the charity, particularly in the last year, I think it reaches almost 40 percent that I gave back to the community"

So that means I'm paying something like 80 percent in taxes then.

proudgrampa January 26, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Unbelievable, the implosion.

Millennial Malaise January 26, 2012 at 12:50 pm

When you add it together with all of the taxes and the charity, particularly in the last year, I think it reaches almost 40 percent that I gave back to the community.

Stop the presses, you guys! We just saw a republican admit that taxes are the price you pay for civilization and for the well being of the community and not gubmint slavery!

Biel_ze_Bubba January 26, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Uh-oh. Wait 'till the teabaggers hear about this!

Geminisunmars January 26, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Well, to be fair, think of all the money he musta paid in property taxes.

chicken_thief January 26, 2012 at 1:42 pm

It may not be as much as you think – it can be negotiated when you spend the kind of money that he does on a house.

Eve8Apples January 26, 2012 at 12:50 pm

More proof that Republicans suck at math and science and logic and communication.

Oblios_Cap January 26, 2012 at 12:51 pm

O/T, here in America's Dinghus™, the "Party of Keeping the Government out of Our Lives" is trying to pass a bill to randomly drug test state workers, with a single positive test getting a person fired.

All in the name of trying to counteract the bills sponsor's perceived growing indifference to casual drug use by society at large. What a bunch of rat bastards.

SoBeach January 26, 2012 at 1:17 pm

It's all about the pinchy-faced cotton tops. They just know those rude blah people at the DMV are on the reefer or something. And unlike real issues affecting the state that take actual time to learn and understand, this one is easy, emotional, and appeals to the basic need some people have to arbitrarily crap on people they think are beneath them.

freakishlywrong January 26, 2012 at 1:42 pm

They realize they're state workers as well, right?

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Well, you know, all those drug addicts, hooked on those reefer sticks, are more likely to vote to be unionized.

ManchuCandidate January 26, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Yeah. Mittens is proof that figures don't lie, but Liars figure.

JustPixelz January 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

If Romney had used that kind of creative accounting while at Bain, a lot of people would still have their jobs.

"When we sold that widget, the revenue was transfered to the internal cost account. So we really sold it twice. Then we capitalized the equipment cost against future revenue. So we really sold it three times. And when we shipped it, the funds were released. So we really sold it four times. This company is like having a license to print money!"

ttommyunger January 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"Romney Would Like You to Believe His Tax Rate Is ‘Closer to 40 or 50 Percent’. He would also like us to believe a Romney Presidency wouldn't result in the total collapse of any remnant of a middle class in America.

memzilla January 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Wonder how much he took as a deduction for his books that didn't sell?

RedneckMuslin January 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"I want to help the 99 percent".

In R-money math, that means he wants to help the 99% but 1% of the time. It has to add to 100, people.

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Unless you are a Fox News graphic.

freakishlywrong January 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

So, if I sell dog carriers, and I buy a dog carrier, and I pay sales tax on the dog carrier, I'm getting the shit taxed out of me.

Geminisunmars January 26, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Oh, that explains what happened. Taxes made poor ole Seamus shit.

SayItWithWookies January 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

See, Mitt's such a man of the people, that he counts his employer's taxes as his own taxes in addition to the taxes he actually pays. He probably counts the unemployment insurance that the companies he buys have to pay when they lay off thousands of workers as his own taxes too — not to mention the taxes those workers have to pay on their unemployment compensation, or the taxes they pay when the government bails out the pension funds that Bain used as collateral when over-leveraging all the companies they've raided. See, he's just like us!

pdiddycornchips January 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Imagine if he belonged to one of greedy, freeloading unions? Everyone knows it's all their fault. Living wage? Benefits? Retirement? Those greedy bastards keep it up and they may cause Mittens taxes to go up .01% someday. That's totally not fair!

SoBeach January 26, 2012 at 12:53 pm

All I know is in 2010 I gave twice as big a chunk of my income to the gubmen as Romney. He can flat out kiss my ass.

elviouslyqueer January 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Romney's finances are obviously controlled by the simple algebraic formula of "I Got Mine+Numerous Tax Loopholes+Charity+Tithing to Batshit Church=FUCK YOU."

jus_wonderin January 26, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Oh, there is a new update for TurboTax!!

Chichikovovich January 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

"So as businesses earn profits, that’s taxed at 35 percent, then as they distribute those profits as dividends, that’s taxed at 15 percent more. So, all total, the tax rate is really closer to 45 or 50 percent."

Oh, Oh! That looks like fun! Can I do it too? Let's see… OK, when you take that money and spend it there's sales tax, which in your home state is about 6% but counties and cities often add more so let's round it off to 10%. Then of course, the companies that [sorry, I mean "the companies who" - they're people too!] make the stuff you buy are taxed, and that is incorporated into the price [not entirely, as Republicans love to claim, but some] so let's say it adds 10% to everything you buy. So that's already 70% right there! Then if it's a house (you like to buy lots of houses, don't you?), there's property taxes that really should be counted as a tax on the money used to buy the house, and that's another 5%. When you die there will be estate tax on some of the money you have left, and let's prorate that over your remaining years as about 2% a year tax on that same money. The fees to your financial managers are higher than they would be if those managers weren't taxed, so let's count that difference as really a tax on you. And then if you buy a car, well there's registration every year, lets count it as a tax, plus airport fees for your jets – a big chunk of that is tax. And don't get me started on the gasoline for your jets, yachts, cars [no hybrids for you] etc. – the taxes on gas are enormous, and that's not even counting the taxes also paid by the companies refining, drilling, etc. More taxes right there. …

[Punching calculator buttons, much fudging and computing sneaky algorithms ensues.]

Dammit, Mitt! You're getting taxed 123% on that investment income! Take my advice, and follow Christ's instruction (tho I gather that these days it's more of a "recommendation" or "ideal, model best practice") to sell all you have and give it to the poor.

You can't afford not to — You're losing money on every dollar you earn!

snackypants January 26, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I love you, Chichikovovich. You are clearly a man of the maths.

Chichikovovich January 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I'm very flattered that you would say that, especially because back when I was younger and working on construction in summers to pay for school, my bosses thought that I didn't know math from a hole in the ground. (At least I'm pretty sure that's what they kept saying to me.)

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 2:53 pm

No wonder everyone wants to be unemployed!

Guppy January 26, 2012 at 12:56 pm

So… Mittens is in favor of a European-style VAT?

OneYieldRegular January 26, 2012 at 12:58 pm

If I were the director of this melodrama, I'd have Mitt sport one of those pencil-thin, upward-curling, waxed mustaches. He'd look much more the part.

Chichikovovich January 26, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Perhaps an enterprising journalist (of a sort that no longer exists) could win a Pulitzer by unearthing the long-buried scandal of Mitt tying a young woman to railroad tracks, where she would surely have been sliced to bits were she not rescued at the last moment by a square-jawed Mountie.

memzilla January 26, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Richie Rich + Snidely Whiplash = Mitt Romney.

Biff January 26, 2012 at 1:58 pm

He only wishes he could grow a Pencil-thin Mustache.

BlueStateLibel January 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

And make him say, "I DRINK your milkshake, I drink it up!"

imissopus January 26, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Of the approximately $7 million he gave to charity in those two years, about $4 million went to the Mormon Church. So it's not really charity, but a down payment on that planet he gets for himself when he dies. And real estate is often a good investment. Mitt's just a smart businessman.

jus_wonderin January 26, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Mama always told me, sometimes it is just better not to say anything. Zip it!

Pop_Socket January 26, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Capital gains are not taxed at the corporate level, only dividends are, if that. Also, a good deal of Mitt's income is 'carried interest' which are sales commissions disguised as capital gains so he doesn't have to pay FICA or Medicare on it either.

I hate to bring facts to such a beautiful case of Wishful Thinking Math.

pdiddycornchips January 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Are you in a quiet room? Than it's okay.

johnnyzhivago January 26, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Look seriously 15% + 15% charity is what 30% – ok, but – round it up to 50%. and 50% you usually round to 100%. So the guy is paying 100% of his income to taxes and you're complaining???

Gleem_McShineys January 26, 2012 at 1:30 pm

No. Obviously you're messing up the math. See, quite clearly, that adds up to 99%, because the statement about helping "the 99%" has to be100% true.

pdiddycornchips January 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I was watching CNBC the other day and Cramer said he pays 65% in taxes. All the other rich douche bags and assorted money whores nodded in agreement. You can fool a few wingnut lunatics in South Carolina, maybe. But the rest of us aren't nearly as stupid.

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Jim Cramer? Pfft. Is he still pushing Lehman Brothers as a strong buy?

johnnyzhivago January 26, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Murdoch is really a european liberal who has NO IDEA what his stupid employees have done to screw up Fox News.

Guppy January 26, 2012 at 1:52 pm

He's European? Fuckin' Austrians.

johnnyzhivago January 26, 2012 at 1:09 pm

BTW – no snark – all the media industry owns Newt – because I believe he was the guy who pushed to end the limit on owned and operated stations, among other things.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 26, 2012 at 1:10 pm

cough*bullshit*cough

KenLayIsAlive January 26, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Have you no respect for the office of White Guy Who Wants to Be President?

Bluestatelibel January 26, 2012 at 1:15 pm

No major U.S. corporation today pays 35% in taxes, what a frickin' lie, he must have given a few bean counters a good laugh with that one.

Extemporanus January 26, 2012 at 1:16 pm

This might look like comment 100 or so, but it's really closer to 40 or 50.

BigDumbRedDog January 26, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I only payed 8% in income tax this year. I guess that makes me way more elite than Romney.

SoBeach January 26, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Yeah, but you paid 7.65% in Social Security and Medicare on top of the income tax. So you paid a higher effective rate than Mitt. Sorry. No elite for you.

BigDumbRedDog January 26, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Dammit! I guess I am going to have to quit my job, move back in with the parents, go on food stamps and have zero income to tax. Then I will be a super elite non-tax payer.

VinnyThePooh January 26, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Mittens is 100% asshole.

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Discovering a Rupert Murdoch tweet is like discovering bird shit on my windshield.

snackypants January 26, 2012 at 1:22 pm

That video made me want to vomit a little. Watching that patronizing fuck-face explain "corporate taxation" like he was talking to a five year old and then not actually answering the question–AGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

cheetojeebus January 26, 2012 at 1:26 pm

So, Jimmy, I had to take your PB&J, so that and I didn't tell you this, and and so when you didn't cry like last time and jimmy, is your sister going to be home? So and I, Did you do the math homework yet. hey Jimmy can I pet your Lama? I ended up only eating half of it, the rest I gave to midge so i could see her panties, Hey you wanta go throw rocks at the freight train when it passes? So and, What did you say?

DahBoner January 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Kim Dotcom?

Is that you?

meatlofer January 26, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Taxes! How do they work?

chicken_thief January 26, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Like a fucking charm if you have Mitten's money.

DocChaos January 26, 2012 at 1:28 pm

So if I get paid by an employer who is taxed 35% on their income ( – and then after I'm taxed at a combine fed/state/fica rate of say 30% , I spend what's left buying stuff from a business that is taxed at 35%, and pay 8% sales tax on top of that , and that business then pays their employees who are taxed at 30%, I can see pretty quickly that the gubmint is taxing me at a hundred and eleventy percent.

owhatever January 26, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I want this Ditweed in charge of running the whole American economy.

When he turns 65 next year, is he going to take Social Security, to which he is entitled as an old?

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Probably get a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart too.

widestanceshakedown January 26, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I used this before, but it still fits, so:

The destruction of mathematics is a beautiful thing.

fartknocker January 26, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Mitt, you have forgotten this mantra from one of the groups your pandering to:

TEA Party = Taxed Enough Already Party.

The logic isn't working, even for the Huver-Round

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 2:58 pm

To be fair, Tea Baggers hate Mittens too.

aguacatero January 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm

$4 million to an entity dedicated to fighting gay marriage.

MissTaken January 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I think we can all agree that Mitt is Taxed Enough Already. In fact, instead of him paying any taxes at all, the US Americans should pay him for the privilege of having his oh-so smart business savvy available to us. It's just the right thing to do.

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 1:53 pm

If he does to America what Bain dead to the companies it acquired, then oh we'd be in trouble with President Mittens.

MissTaken January 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

But he single-handedly saved the Olympics! Don't we owe him some gratitude?

And by gratitude I mean getting his magic underwear covered ass handed to him by Obama in November, of course.

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm

That is assuming his magic underwear covered ass isn't handed to him by that fat slimy amphibian first.

Gleem_McShineys January 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Add, the three, carry the one, and see? 50%!

MittBott just made the strongest argument against foreign-manufactured microchips I've ever seen.

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

That's the first time I've seen anybody use the Chewbacca Defense in a tax argument.

SorosBot January 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

It's funny; when Republicans try to claim that 48% of Americans don't pay taxes, they want us to look just at the income tax rate and ignore the payroll taxes (which are not applied to capital gains), along with state and local taxes, that everyone does pay. But now we're supposed to look at everything for Mittens, and somehow include any taxes paid by the company before the money went to him, along with claiming donations to church as taxes.

In Republican land, they get to make up the rules.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm

They're truly despicable scum.

I saw Rmoney on the tv box last night talking about how taxing the rich more would somehow lose jerbs for everyone else, and how his super-awesome tax the rich less plan would "widen the tax base" to make up for shortfall. Which, of course, is code for "tax the shit out of poor people".

They truly believe in Randian dynamics and long for an America where the top few get to say how things are run. Everyone else is just a healthcareless piss-poor worker whose only use is to both build and consume the worthless gewgaws shat out by the businesses the elites run.

Biff January 26, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I pay income taxes. Not just so-called payroll taxes, but real, actual income taxes. If 47.999999% of USAmericans make less money than I do and pay no income taxes, this country is more fucked up than even I thought, and I'm the most cynical person I know. but if, rather, most of that 48% who pay no income taxes are Mitt's peers, which I suspect to be true, this country is even more fucked up x∞

Fukui_sanYesOta January 26, 2012 at 2:26 pm

but if, rather, most of that 48% who pay no income taxes are Mitt's peers

That'd make the top 1% comprised of 48% of the population, which, well.

No, the sad truth is that the 48% who "pay no taxes" are actually just dirt fucking poor. The median income was around $26K in 2011. I dunno about you, but I can't even imagine how painful it must be to live in America on a wage like that – but 50% of the population have to live that reality every day. And it's these people who apparently, according to Republican Scum, aren't pulling their weight taxation-wise.

Biff January 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I did live on that, and less, for the time between being kicked to the curb due to on-the-job injuries and the day I qualified for Social Security Disability, and I even paid income taxes then. Their numbers are skewed, obviously.

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Give tax breaks to the wealthy+Increased spending on shit to kill people=PROFIT!

mrblifil January 26, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Bidness peeple shure is smart wons.

lulzmonger January 26, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Dubious math is dubious.

Also, I'm sure his returns will show that MittBot didn't actually declare any deductions on his "charity" so it totally counts!

DahBoner January 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"On the toilet, as you are now?"

This reminds me–I need to get a piece of duct tape to cover up the webcam…

PhilippePetain January 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm

It seems like the Mittster, not being raised as a down home shoot-from-the-hip lying fuckface like your W or your Lee Atwater/Karl Rove types, is somewhat uncomfortable with what is needed to win as a Republican: lie your face off with no hint of shame so that the olds and the dumbs can believe you without question. This equivocating is only going to keep hurting him. He needs to go Full-Bullshit or leave.

StarsUponThars January 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Jon Stewart explains it all to you: http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/tue-jan

Terry January 26, 2012 at 2:22 pm

"We don’t want your help."

Well, if he was paying the same 30% us po' folks are paying, we could fix a few highways or fund a slew of scholarships. That sort of help from him would be appreciated.

pdiddycornchips January 26, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Off topic but in a similar vain, Mittens should choose Tom Friedman as his running mate. According the Mustache of Knowledge, it's not the elite douchebags who caused our current predicament. No, it's because we can't compete. He gives an example of a chinese factory that manufactures iPhones. Apparently Apple redesigned their screen at the last minute. Mr. Friedman writes with admiration:

"The new screens began arriving at the (chinese) plant around midnight. A foreman immediately roused 8000 workers from their company dormitories, according to the executive. Each employee was given a biscuit and a cup of tea, guided to a workstation and within a half an hour started their 12 hour shift fitting glass screens into beveled frames."

This is the future these cocksuckers want for us.

GOPCrusher January 26, 2012 at 3:04 pm

8000 workers? They call that productivity?

gurukalehuru January 26, 2012 at 3:16 pm

It's closer to 40 or 50% than it is to Proxima Centauri, for instance.

iburl January 26, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Rupert Murdoch is a Santorum booster. Rupert Murdoch is always trying to pump up Santorum. Rupert Murdoch loves everything about Santourm. Rupert Murdoch considers Santorum to be the best.

coron4 January 26, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Hahahaha!!! 32 in base 2000!

DarwinianDemon January 26, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Hey everybody! Guess who just revised his taxes after he forgot to include all those offshore accounts?
http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/26/1

deanbooth January 26, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Mitt's tithe is helping the 99%. Those after-death baptisms don't pay for themselves.

aguacatero January 26, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Is there some amount of money I can pay so the LDS will promise not to baptise me posthumously?

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Would he be able to roll over a bigger sum from a 401k to avoid the limit?

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