Ha, what?! Why does Nancy Pelosi look so sneaky here? And happy, she also looks very happy. Asked what it might be like to come to work next year and find Newt Gingrich as (gulp!) president, she smiles serenely and says, “That’s never going to happen.” And then she adds, “Trust me.”
What does she know? What else could Gingrich possibly have done that we don’t already have the details about? He divorces all his wives, and doesn’t at all mind dumping a wife in the cancer ward, or telling another unwanted wife that she could also have the option of an “open marriage.” We know he is a crook, we know he was kicked out of the House speaker job by his own party, and that he has subsisted in a tawdry wilderness of Tiffany jewelry credit accounts, religious conversions, Easter candy Twitter gushes, weird home-office companies that produce weird DVDs and children’s books nobody wants, etc. What did he do, strangle a child to death? Is there VIDEO?
Here’s a bit of transcript, via Dangerous Minds:
PELOSI: He’s not going to be president of the United States. This is – that’s not going to happen. Let me just make my prediction and stand by it. It isn’t going to happen.
KING: Why are you so sure?
PELOSI: There’s something I know. The Republicans, if they choose to nominate him, that’s their prerogative. I don’t even think that’s going to happen.
What else could he have done? Maybe she knows about the international bribery assassination plot or whatever that was, this thing:
Newt Gingrich’s wife, Marianne may come back to haunt him. Not because he allegedly asked her for an open marriage, but because she was investigated by the FBI for trying to get a $10 million bribe for having Newt help an arms dealer nicknamed “The Merchant Of Death.”
Marianne Gingrich, who Newt Gingrich called “my best friend and closest adviser,” met with notorious arms dealer, Sarkis Soghanalian in Paris in 1995. Later her aides would claim that they could use Newt to help Soghanalian lift an arms embargo on Iraq so he could collect an $80 million debt, according to an FBI document, if she was given a $10 million bribe.
It’s delightful to think about Newt as the GOP nominee, isn’t it? [NewsOne/Dangerous Minds/CNN]
{ 206 comments }
Did Pelosi secretly date Newt? Inquiring minds want to know.
She has way too much taste and class for that.
They did sit on a couch together once, so that's pretty gross right there.
Yeah but did the ever Mrs. Clinton ever date him, that's the question…
No we don't!
*shiver*
Healthy minds shudder to think!
Have you seen her husband?.He is gorgeous.
My guess: there's a big REASON Newt divorces all his wives. That big Republican REASON.
That teeny weeny Republican reason, you mean.
I think he is referring to one rather large, muscular pool boy named Lars.
Maybe he dated her brother? Does she have a brother?
Not even by accident; not even with a blindfold on.
Let's just say Nancy has a "blue dress" of her own.
But Newt doesn't smoke. What did he kept in her "humidor?" A hoagie?
I don't know about that, but she seemed so pleased by the notion that Newt will never, ever be the nominee that the dress she is currently wearing is undoubtedly saturated with her DNA.
OOH OOH! Call on me! I've got it!
What is "Unindicted Iran-Contra Co-Conspirator," Alex?
what is hubris. also
Isn't Iran-Contra what made Ollie North a hero? (Gag) I suppose we can expect Ollie to be Newt's Secretary of State. Lord help us!
Live goat or dead child.
Black baby!
Why not both?
A dead black goat? Trifecta!
An animal/human hybrid sex slave child?
Excepting that no one wants him for a sex slave, this could b a description of Newtie.
I figure he rolled over in bed & squashed a hooker.
Live dog, definitely a live dog.
What could possibly be any more disgusting than Newt himself? He's a filthy pig, pervert philanderer, and serial hypocrite pathological liar. Even if its some dirty sex thing the thought of his sweaty ham hands on a woman makes me unable to get a boner for weeks as it is; I don't think it could get any worse, Nancy.
He's a filthy pig, pervert philanderer, and serial hypocrite pathological liar.
Features, not bugs.
It is beyond despicable for you to bring that fact up.
I am appalled.
He was the twentieth hijacker.
Left behind because the plane didn't have two toilets.
But didn't go because they wanted him to sit in the back of the plane.
She helped Newt move the intern out of Joe Scarborough's office.
Oh, that's good. That's real good.
Please to help I have $80M to deposit at some $10M advantage to your bank account
She knows where his birth certificate is.
From Newt's rooter to his tooter, Pelosi dishes on her 'puter.
secret muslin
Actual Kenyan?
fake caucasian
fake.
Paul Wellstone in an evil/fat-suit?
This man leaves no part of the pig uneaten. I can assure you that he is no secret muslin.
Well, I don't know. After all she did say impeachment of Bush was off the table…
Well, Newtie seemed awfully animated when Nancy had stated before that she holds a little tidbit of information on him.
I would like to see Romney push Newt into releasing the details of the 85 ethics violations that forced him into resigning, like Newt push him on releasing his tax returns.
Santorum could win the nomination by default.
Works for me. I like the color blue myself and it would be really cool to color in the whole country with it on election day. R's might stay home and we'd get past 60 in the Senate and take back the House. Done.
Then the only question remaining is, How will the Democrats manage to fuck that shit up colossally? Because it is what they do, after all.
Why have we collectively failed to crush your soul and any hope contained therein?
His jowls? Implants.
Newt "silicon jowls" Gingrinch.
They suck the fat out of Callista's face and inject it into Newt?
They suck the fat out of Newt's head and inject it into Callista's phallus?
siliconE
Handy tip:
San Jose: Silicon Valley
Hollywood: Silicone Valley
So, um, maybe his jowls are microchipped? Thanks for the tip.
Sounds like the plot of a US Americanized John Le Carre novel.
Tinker (sic), Grifter, Fatass, Thief.
A friend of mine who works in Pelosi's office out here in SF told me that she told him that Newt Gingrich raped and murdered a pony back in 1981.
If Newt Gingrinch didn't rape and murder a pony in 1981, why hasn't he unequivocally denied doing so? Hmm..?
I heard it was a sparklepony
Poor, poor Princess!
What did Newt do to you?!
No, no, it was My little pony!
My Little Pony was introduced in 1981, so you might actually be on to something there.
Maybe it was a bronie – they make me wish to kill them sometimes.
This is good news for Santorum.
Horse apples!
Of course, after the rape he did the right thing and purchased that pony. He kept her (him?) for many years until, again, his wandering eye was caught by a younger much-more-rapeable pony.
Pssst…
NEWT GINGRICH FUCKED MY FRIEND FLICKA!
Pass it on.
That's why I'm voting for Vermin Supreme.
Newt called it Mr. Head [ducks].
I totally just read on the internet that Newt Gingrich raped and murdered a pony back in 1981.
Now I've heard it from multiple sources.
"Some say, in 1981 Newt Gingrich raped and murdered a pony…."
"While still yet others refute the claim that, in 198, Newt Gingrich raped and murdered a pony…"
I've been calling him a sadistic, bestial necrophile for years, but that's just beating a dead horse.
Newt Gingrich's predilection for pony rape apparently began at a very early age.
As with everything else he has tried, he was doing it wrong.
Newt raped a dead pony? Now that's just wrong.
Extempo, this is physically impossible. A typical pony stands at 10 hands. Newt perhaps at 5 hands.
He would be overreaching yet again.
Not if Newt Gingrich murdered the pony before he raped it.
Oh. My. God…
The truth could be even more horrifying than we imagined!
The story I was told was that he murdered, then raped a pony. But the dipshit who told me always fucks up the details, so he could have it ass backwards.
It should be noted, however, that if Newt just hums a few bars of "Back in the Saddle Again" the Shetlands on his farm all bolt for the far end of the pasture. Jes sayin.
Sorry, didn't see your suggestion that Newt Gingrich murdered and then raped a pony back in 1981 before I posited the same.
However, now that the heinous act (acts?!) has been confirmed by at least two independent online sources, Newt Gingrich's inexplicable silence regarding the matter of his involvement in the murder and subsequent rape of a pony in 1981 has become that much more damning.
This is just like the time Glenn Beck raped and murdered a child in the '90's. When confronted by the evidence that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a child, his office does not reply. Now we learn that Gingrich, too, is hiding something, apparently, also, as many sources are now reporting.
It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Because he ate the evidence afterwards?
Can't possibly be true. His daughters from his first marriage said he didn't do it.
Newt is so slick, if the arms merchant thing surfaces, betcha' Marianne gets all the blame. Newt walks away from another cesspool dive smelling like roses…
He will be disgusted that any member of the liberal press would bring it up, and his audience will cheer.
"I divorced her because she kept taking bribes from arms merchants. I didn't want to make money that was coming from Saddam Hussein. But she just kept making this deals on my behalf."
"The Merchant of Death" was one of Shakespeare's worst first drafts.
"If you bleed me, do I not prick?"
Yeah, but it turned into to the only, to date, watchable Nicholas Cage movie.
Raising Arizona LIBEL!
No love for Con Air?
I was actually referring to Lord of War, based on the life of Soghanalian. Holly Hunter was great in Raising Arizona, but watching Nicholas Cage trying to act in a comedy is painful.
Can't wait for the release of Newt's second wife's greatest hits album of the "90s…."Marianne Unfaithful's Sympathy for the Devil."
That arms dealer stuff sounds like nonsense — if Newt had solicited a bribe to help sell arms to Iraq, that would probably be on his resume — I mean, if illegally trafficking in arms to a pariah dictatorship didn't hurt Dick Cheney, it's not gonna hurt Newt.
But with all his corruptly setting up nonprofits for political activity and then lying about it to Congress, lobbying and now lying about that, and then lying about the parts of his record he no longer espouses, what more do Democrats need?
I'm with you, SayIt. It's an absurd story. And $10M for a bribe is insane. This ain't the damn movies. What guarantee could Newt give? And with the wife in Paris, all the arms dealer would have to do is say: "look, I'll give you a mil. Not a penny more." If Newt bulked, then the salesman's follow up would be: "fuck you. I'll kill your bitch wife and you get whatever insurance money instead of the mil. And, btw, Newt, should you think I'm lowballing you now, my next and final offer is do it for nothing or I'll fly to DC and kill your fat ass."
Newt was able to successfully defuse the situation with humor: "Kill my wife, please."
At least I assume it was humor.
Oh, Nancy's just jelly of Callista's facelifts! But seriously, though, Nancy needs to STFU and let Rethugs nominate Newt.
Let's make the bastard deny it.
Put it this way, Callista wasn't Newt's first Catholic girl.
This Newt guy sounds pretty smarmy.
Newt was born in Kenya.
There’s something I know.
That he has an Entenmann's bakery in the basement?
Well, him and Chris Christie.
Mmm, Entenmann's!
Maybe he kidnapped the Keebler Elves to keep himself feed?
I think she is signaling that she will stalk and kill him, if he gets the nomination.
Finally a plan by the Democratic leadership that I can get fully behind!
I am just surprised she did not say "Let me count the ways…"
I think the secret is that they found his congressional gavel floating in the hot tub of Janet Reno.
I think the secret is that they found his congressional gavel in Janet Reno.
Fixed.
If I were more musically inclined, I think I could do something with "Reno", "gavel" and a Johnny Cash song…
Maybe Newt has a embarassing brother.
More embarassing than Newt? How would that be possible, pray tell?
Ummm, wouldn't Newt BE the embarassing brother?…
I believe Candace thinks so.
Chris Farley?
Jim Belushi?
Newt and Newt-er?
She has the secret final draft of the Constitution, where it is written that Porcine-Americans are ineligible to become President?
By my reckoning, it's only a matter of days and a few more dirt digging muckrakers 'til some "
FebrBlubber-ruary Surprise" finally puts this lard-sack in his place.I think you are right. So please, please – SLOW DOWN WITH THE NEWT BASHING!!! The Blob of Indignation has lots more comedic value. And watching him make Mittens squirm is fun!
That's understood. Yet watching Obama make Mitt squirm will be even more fun.
If Michelle Obama met with a notorious arms dealer in Paris, she'd probably put him in a headlock and drag him off to jail. Which the right would ignore, claiming she only went there to shop for Prada.
And note that it was yet another Obummer vacay and it cost $200 zillion of American American in America tax dollars.
Let's just say that someone brought the coke to all those congressional parties.
I don't want to know–now. Let it sit out there until fall. Oh pleez pleez pleez Reptards. Nominate him. Pleez pleez pleez.
Fingers, toes crossed. I love surprises! Please wait, please. Go Newt 2012!
Absolutely! Save that card for when it REALLY matters.
Yeah, save it for the four year anniversary of the Backward B girl!
Anunnaki.
I think it's sort of ironic: Newt used to teach history; in a year, he will actually be history.
He likes Falco?
Secret, secret…I've got a secret…
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Not cool man. You are so lucky that they don't have the down fist.
I must clean my pallet now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt856_nRxQk
Dude, I fucking LOVE Faith No More!
Thanks!!
Better: he's a charter member of the Rick Astley Fan Club.
Ah-alle ist klar, Herr Kommissar.
yeah, i actually own that.
Dreh dich nicht um (oh oh oooh) Der Komissar geht um (oh oh oooooooooooh)
Oooh, I know! He and Rush Limbaugh are the same person, and he's been in a committed LTR with Glenn Beck since approximately 1972.
He's Kaiser Soze.
It will take 40 years for me to forget that image. I will be 90 though. That, right there, is why aging is not so bad.
Using a "Miami car salesman named Morty Bennett" to launder the bribe money is a particularly classy detail.
She knows where the gavel has been.
I hate that. It's like someone tells you they got you something really cool for your birthday, but you have to wait and see, and you're all like, "So just fucking tell me!"
Amen!
It better not turn out to be a fucking wallet. An empty fucking wallet. (I'm not bitter.)
I like her new 'do. And the way she said "that will never happen" made me tingly.
Lets just say it has to do with a mountain top in Montana and sheep.
And Rick Perry.
Nancy! Wait until I've got my fingers in my ears….Now! La la la la la la la I can't hear you….
Maybe she banged him with a strap-on?
Nancy wouldn't need a strap-on. And I mean that in the nicest way.
Sir, I seem to be out of brain bleach. Could you perhaps spare a cup of yours for that last post?
Sorry, I drank mine after the last GOP debate, and now plan to vote as a zombie in SC.
It sounds like this Sarkis Soghanalian guy is the original "Nigerian Prince"…..was Marianne Gingrich the first scam victim??
$10M bribe?!!!! The fat fuck is a pig.
Newt is secretly gay married to Lindsey Graham, which makes him a bigamist.
That was real bigamy to reveal that secret.
He jumped off the Costa Concordia and that's why it tipped.
Wow, that arms thing is pretty impressive. Gingrich really does channel the spirit of Reagan!
I just hope this doesn't turn out like the WikiLeaks' promise to release damaging info on the banks…unless I missed something, still waiting on that one…
Come on, Princess Nancy, spill the beans!
She's got Trump's investigators on it.
I Know What You Did Last Cummer.
I Know What You Did Last Hummer.
Newt is British! And Nancy is the only one who knows that Newt is actually Susan Boyle in drag!
that sounds awesome to the 14% of republicans who were dying to have an Ollie North/Don Rumsfeld ticket.
Like we all didn't see "The Crying Game" already.
Newt says he only did consulting work as a historian for the Merchant of Death.
HOLY SHIT!!! That's why Bush the Lesser invaded Iraq….It was to cover for for Fat Newts dealings with Soghanalian…son-of-a-bitch!!!
he was on the grassy knoll?
It was not a fee, just a multi-million advance on a book he will write next week about international arms dealing.
Suggested correction: That he will pay someone to ghost write for him.
Is it just me, or is Nancy turning into Carol Channing?
It's the credit card receipt for Newt's special Lecturn with Glory Hole that's really gonna kill 'em….
she was investigated by the FBI for trying to get a $10 million bribe for having Newt help an arms dealer nicknamed “The Merchant Of Death.” Marianne Gingrich…met with notorious arms dealer, Sarkis Soghanalian in Paris in 1995.
wtf was going on in Georgia in the 90's?
(and by 'Georgia' i mean "land of red neck caucasians" not "formerly red land in the caucasus').
This could be one incredible mind fuck game by Pelosi. Knowing how the 'Baggers hate her, if she says "Jesus is Lord" they'd all become atheists tomorrow. So she says don't nominate Newt, knowing that now there ain't no way that they WON'T nominate Newt, so The Chosen One cake walks to largest ever victory in Nov.
This is bad news for Willard Rmoney.
Rmoney. I like that.
I wish I could take credit for it but I saw it several times before here on the Wonkette and also obviously liked it. So kudos to……?!
He's a Kenyan!
We already know he cheated on his wife while she was in the hospital battling cancer. And yet somehow, America's "values voters" are A-OK with this and much more (ethics violations, Frannie/Freddie lobbying hypocrisy, etc). Whatever Nancy knows, it must be more damning than this! I sure hope she's not underestimating conservatives' willingness to look the other way on a wide variety of immoral behaviors.
Well he said he was sorry !Only God can judge him now. Any way it was just because he was an excitable patriot liberals are pathetic.
I know. I know. Newt was the one that was banging and ultimately killed Joe Scarborogh's aid in Scarborogh's office. (Lori Klausutis, RIP)
He's a psychopath not a mere sociopath. Nancy knows where the bodies are buried, and who they voted for in the SC GOP primary.
Newt: "Yes, I know what Nancy's referring too. But she promised not to tell. It would absolutely keep me from being president, and probably cause me to flee the country, but I believe she'll keep her word. That only leaves Elmiro, the janitor, and he disappeared years ago."
Have you ever seen a picture of Newt on the Hindenburg???
Enough said.
Nancy is the real eleventy dimensional chess player. She knows the wingnuts hate her so passionately that they will vote for Newt just to spite her.
Then, Newt's grotesquery tanks the entire Republican ticket in November.
Welcome back, Speaker Pelosi! Mission Accomplished!
I find Pelosi's obvious trolling of Newt to be almost as funny as the Republicans going for the bait every single time.
"There’s something I know…."
Prick teaser.
He has a vag?
Several, in urine-filled name-labeled glass jars over his headboard – including the empty "callista" jar…
I'd love to see the texts going back and forth between those two today…
Nancy: Has the climate in your pants changed yet?
Newt: FU. What do you think you know? NOTHING
Nancy: Let's bet on it, fatty. WATCH ME
Yeah, and I bet she's got pictures too!
Newt was once known as Long Dong Silver?
In his dreams.
Remember no white father would name his son Newton. He must be using the same dermatologist as Michael Jackson had.
Maybe he stepped on the American flag!
Maybe he slept with it!
Well he shit on it a few times.
I don't know, but I bet it has to do with the glory hole in the basement men's room in the Rayburn building.
It's no secret that Newt Gingrich is Terrible.
In addition, there's no conceivable depth of depravity that, If I heard Gingrich were involved in, would surprise me.
At all.
It's probably some nasty stuff about First Floozy wannabe, Callista.
Heh, heh. Newt has the Communist Manifesto tattooed in the creases of his taint. Don't ask her how she knows, however.
Overlord Pelosi has spoken. Newt will not be the nominee, because she has the power to make it so. You don't ask questions of the Boss; you just know this and rejoice.
Seriously, though, I love how she said that this won't happen, as if it were decreed in the stars. It was said with such finality and confidence I have no reason to doubt the Goody Pelosi's psychic prediction.
lol!
Nancy Pelosi isn't a pitbull – she's a fucking honey badger on steroids. One of America's most productive & successful Speakers, despite facing the most pathologically obstructionist opposition in American history? Only a fool or a suicide fucks with that level of warrior.
What strikes me is the sheer unmitigated JOY in her eyes when she deals with the possibility of "President Gingrich" – & that she almost seems a little disappointed that "that (his nomination) won't happen anyway."
Man, I would NOT want to be on the other end of that particular smile.
"There's something I know."
When some newstard asked Newt what that meant, he responded with the fakest laugh EVAR before the question was even finished … but I think Newt will be waking up crying &/or screaming a lot more than usual from now on … & thus a few more angels will get their wings.
Selah.
It was the most nervous laugh I've ever heard. She knows shit, and he knows that she does.
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