STFU SOTU  9:45 pm January 24, 2012

States and Unions: Why Have Either? Liveblogging the SOTU, Part Deux

by Ken Layne

G A M E O V E ROh hi, how is the State of the Union? Sounds pretty gassy so far, what with the drilling for natural gas in every national park, and the drilling for more Blackwater spills on every U.S. coast, and shale oil extraction to ruin the Earth for a thousand generations, etc. Yay? Why not just, uh, stop having a civilization based on the burning of fossil fuels? Well, that will happen soon enough! ALSO: What is with the Pac-Man Jobs Program?

9:45 PM — Part One of the Liveblogging Orgy of Blogging can be found here, while our popular/fatal SOTU Drinking Game can be found here.
9:47 PM — Haha, the Republicans (and Democrats) are not at all excited about letting underwater homeowners get a chance to refinance.
9:48 PM — But then, wild applause when this is somehow against the Wall Street bailouts. Everyone in Washington pretends to be against the Wall Street bailouts.
9:50 PM — Grandpa Obama made a “crying over spilled milk” joke. Several grandpas in Congress very slowly decided to weakly chuckle.
9:51 PM — “I will expand offshore oil drilling to every coast, ever beach! And I will stop offshore oil spills!”
9:56 PM — BOOOOOOOO nobody in Congress wants to pay their fair share of taxes. Taxes are for poor people!
9:57 PM — Boehner looks like he’s having a spontaneous abortion right now. (Of his liver.)
9:58 PM — Oh great, now Obama is trying to impress the seniors on a fixed income. What next, citizenship for Mexicans? Oh right he already said that.
9:59 PM — So far, we’ve got liberal talking points on income equality and fair taxation, some kind of crazy plan to drill for oil EVERYWHERE, FOREVER, and some Tea Party anti-bailout rhetoric. Something for everyone! (Nothing to even begin to fix this ruined country and cancerous economic system based on exploitation, the pillaging of natural resources for profit, etc.)
10:00 PM — And someone is screaming “Ohhhhh Noooooooes” … it sounds like? What is that loon screaming? Is it this year’s “You Lie!”?
10:01 PM — It’s about time for one of those PETA stripping YouTubes with the Congressional Applause, right?
10:02 PM — Oh boy we’re about to get post-partisan now, a feel good moment to make us remember that no matter whether Republican or Democrat, we’re all basically faced with the same pro-corporate Wall Street Pentagon world-rape choice, which is no choice at all, or something. Let’s get the temperature down, in this town!
10:04 PM — (Even though the temperature in that town and all others is going to be increasing rapidly, from now on, in large part because the World’s Biggest Economy and Richest Nation failed to do a goddamned thing when the Earth began melting.
10:05 PM — Nancy Pelosi now looks exactly like Pat Benatar.
10:06 PM — Jeez, we almost forgot about how America assassinated Qadaffi, too!
10:07 PM — And they cut to Vinegar Joe Lieberman just in time for Obama to mouth some AIPAC talking points about nuking Iran, to make sure Iran doesn’t have a dangerous nuke.
10:08 PM — Obama must have let his Atlanta Jewish Times subscription lapse. Maybe there’s an iPad app?
10:09 PM — Oh, bite it, Obama. Those who speak of America’s decline know exactly what they’re talking about.
10:10 PM — “The growing dangers of cyber threats ….” He is talking about Anonymous, Facebook, Twitter, #OWS, etc. He’s talking about you, because you are the biggest threat to him and Them.
10:13 PM — One of Obama’s “proudest possessions” is the pirate flag brought back by the military assassins we sent after Osama bin Laden. “All that mattered that day was the mission,” says Obama. “No one thought about politics. No one thought about themselves.” This is such a ridiculous fucking pile of lies that it’s not worthy of additional comment.
10:15 PM — “Just like Pac Man, these men ran up dark corridors, etc.”
10:16 PM — “This nation is great because we will kill literally anyone who annoys us, anywhere, eventually.”
10:17 PM — So the nation is great because after terrorists lash out at us, we will spend 10 years fucking up totally unrelated countries, and then eventually slaughter some half-mythical terror king in a suburb, in Pakistan, because we are so great.
10:19 PM — Truly a great speech, from the greatest president, before the greatest Congress, in the greatest country in the world FOREVER and fuck the rest of the world, we are going on a “bipartisan date” with an old millionaire who wants to suck us off in a broom closet at Union Station, the end, may Allah bless the USA.
10:23 PM — All kinds of horror is still coming, such as the “Tea Party Response.” Ugh when will that poison take effect?
10:37 PM — So we just returned to the video stream and there’s Mitch Daniels saying, “We will never have the funding for anything,” which is … honest? Cheery?
10:38 PM — So Obama says how we are such a kick-ass country that can kill anybody and even make kids go to high school. And then Mitch says Obama *actually* said America is in decline, the world is too weird, etc. No, that’s what bloggers and leftists and anarchists say, because it’s true. Obama says a bunch of patriotic bullshit talking points.
10:41 PM — And there’s Mitch Daniels, everybody! What a personality, what charisma! Truly the Republican field is weaker without his stately, dullard presence.
10:45 PM — Brian Williams smirks something audible about how nothing will come of this SOTU speech, etc. He really does just want to be a blog commenter, but lacks the snark.
10:58 PM — THANK YOU everyone for spending the SOTU date night with your Wonkette. There is no way in Hell we would suffer through this televised misery without your delightful / drunken comments and emails and tips. Now we will go weep into a cup of bourbon, the end.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 840 comments }

SlunkyPete January 24, 2012 at 9:48 pm

First! But still bored!

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Downfist!

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Double downfist

Barb January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Triple downfist.

iburl January 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

A good time to compliment you on your first-posting etiquette, Barb. Well done. Perhaps slightly obsessively first, but always with class. :)

Barb January 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Thanks!

NellCote71 January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Quadruple downfist.

proudgrampa January 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Yay! Am I the first? Go, Mr. President!

Nope.

chascates January 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Is there no relief? Are we condemned to listen to politics forever!!1!???

shrillharpy January 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Okay. i'm screaming "BULLSHIT!" I've been trying to refinance for months, with excellent credit. But my home is underwater. I'm stuck paying PMI which negates refinancing. Not that this is Obama's fault. Just pisses me off. Sorry for venting.

DaRooster January 25, 2012 at 9:18 am

I'm right there with you… well the credit was good three missed payments ago.
The same bank (Chase) that holds my mortgage told me, "You don't make enough to refinance at a lower rate to save $350 per month."
"So, I can afford it now but not for less?"
"Yes."
Fuck you Chase, B of A, etc…

shrillharpy January 25, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I was trying to refi to save $300/mos. I was even willing to have the BoA assholes add an extra 5k to my overinflated principal. I'd be totally screwed if I didn't rent out my basement. Makes my head spin. Fuckers. Good luck with your home, Rooster.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Good thing the drink word isn't "Regulations."

OC_Surf_Serf January 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Going to the Medical Maryjane Dispensary, anybody need more weed?

chascates January 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I'll have some seeds or clones, if you please!

imissopus January 24, 2012 at 9:56 pm

I don't think I could afford shake right now, which is of course why I need some.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Me pleez. I NEED IT.

Loaded_Pants January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Weed makes me paranoid. I mean, more than usual.

Angry_Marmot January 24, 2012 at 10:28 pm

242 Republicans need it more than any of us.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

"Spilt milk"

Wocka wocka.

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Knee slapper!

SlunkyPete January 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

"I've ordered every federal agency to eliminate rules that don't make sense!" Start with the marijuana statutes.

Loaded_Pants January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

That would be too much of a job killer.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

When you become a SCOTUS, they cut your arm tendons so you can no longer clap.

proudgrampa January 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

So THAT's what's going on!

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Chief Justice gets the honor, and chooses the method. Roberts does it right there in the main chamber with his pappy's old rusty pen knife. At dawn.

Loaded_Pants January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

In the case of Justice Thomas, I think they cut out his tongue.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

No WONDER Ginny's been drunk-calling Anita Hill!

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

It's like the guns for toys swap, only we're trading in "red tape" for … no; military spending for infrastructure remedial work… Then he lost me at "milk."

iburl January 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Obama is defending the very concept of government regulation. I love it, but also sad that these GOP crybabies have brought us to this.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

And of course all the Republicans at yesterday's debate were for repealing the new rules and letting the financial system cause another crisis.

Crank_Tango January 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

waca waca waca waca waca…

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

B-b-but the STAAAATES should get to decide how much mercury their kids should eat! /feebly flails arms like Ron Paul

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Do you have a clawlike, liver-spotted, arthritic forefinger? USE IT!

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Suck it, Senate Republicans!

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Lots of boos at Rich Cordray (sp?); suck it, Republicans.

SlunkyPete January 24, 2012 at 9:53 pm

See, they could have had Elizabeth Warren, but they've got this ol' grumpus instead.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Instead, we're probably going to have Sen. Warren in a year – a fair trade.

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Karma is a bitch, isn't she Scott?

Biel_ze_Bubba January 25, 2012 at 4:10 am

Warren was on with Jon Stewart tonight. She's amazing… knocking the Repuke's pretty-boy airhead out of the ring should be easy. (It's Massachusetts, remember.)

Negropolis January 25, 2012 at 4:25 am

I love how frustrated she gets simply trying to find the most appropriate words to explain just how horrible Republican policies really are. It's like she can barely contain herself.

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I'm glad Cordray will "look out for us." My question is, who will look out for Mr. Cordray?

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Senator Warren

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm

That's what we have teh Secret Service for, darlz.

finallyhappy January 24, 2012 at 9:53 pm

was that booing at "insurance companies can no longer charge different rates for women?" – gee, who would boo that?

imissopus January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Republicans, because he's STANDING ON THE NECK OF THE FREE MARKET!!!

Crank_Tango January 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

boooooooooooooobbbbssssssss

zwoits January 24, 2012 at 11:19 pm

women are so expensive because of their various lady parts….and those future babies.

sati_demise January 24, 2012 at 11:25 pm

People who just KNOW women are hypochondriacs and the fact that lady bits are always more expensive than peni.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I was saying "Booo-urns".

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 9:53 pm

He's hitting all the hot buttons. Jeez Hopey don't blow your whole load here. There's an election coming up.

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm

yeah.. it's slightly less effective when you hit them *all* at once… Each idea needs to be heard in turn and at a smart pace.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Fragile recovery is fragile.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Eric Holder wasn't smiling when his boss said he was going to set up a special unit to investigate fraud on Wall Street. Just sayin'.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:10 pm

And Geithner looked physically pained.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Geithner's been looking, all night, like he was in the middle of taking a poop and is worried he'll leak, or something.

NellCote71 January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

But he always has looked like that.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Oh, grl.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

But the GOP won't pass the payroll tax cut without delay because it's a political football to them.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Ken is speaking French tonight. Commie!

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

If Mitch Daniels doesn't have strippers and a band, he should probably just yield back his time.

Barb January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

He's going after the millionaires. Huzzah!

Designer_Rants January 24, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Huzzah!

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Was that just a shot at Romney?

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Yes.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Hell yes!

SlunkyPete January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Grrrr grrr says the members of the millionaires' club.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Middle clas – he said it! Karl Rove poops his pants.

Designer_Rants January 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Gross Karl's gonna have to spend another $20mil on the "Kenyan Socialist" ad buy after that one.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Here comes the Mttens 15% tax. Pay up suckers.

PuckStopsHere January 24, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Can't he just say, "Fuck Republicans"? 'Cause that's what I would say if it were me up there tonight.

iburl January 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Fuh-kalla-y'all!!

Dudleydidwrong January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Can he not also bestow a single-finger salute to the Republican side of the aisle? That would be presidential. At least I think so.

Loaded_Pants January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

This is why I could never be Prez. If it had been me during the whole healthcare reform debates, I would have just resigned and said "Joe, I hate to due this to ya, but you're going to have to deal with these motherfuckers now. I'm going back to Illinois."

finallyhappy January 24, 2012 at 9:56 pm

whoa- Boner's nose and cheeks are really red- how much did he drink before this talk?

Spurning Beer January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

He was drinking Hot Boners: sweet vermouth and atropine.

Loaded_Pants January 24, 2012 at 10:26 pm

All of it, Katie.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm

He was so drunk he forgot to put on his flag pin. Or maybe it just wouldn't stay on because the pin kept bouncing off the flask in his suit coat breast pocket.

CountryClubJihadi January 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I think Biden has a cold and is forced to swallow his snot right now. He keeps coughing on his post-nasal drop, poor thang.

chascates January 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

John Boehner has no lips at all. That's freaky.

Dudleydidwrong January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Boehner is one ugly muthafucker, he is. They should at least put a bag over his head while he's on TV so much.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Or a white sheet.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 11:48 pm

From the Jesse Helms Collection.

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 24, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Oh he has them, they just blend in to the orange.

SlunkyPete January 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I was sick that day at law school.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Newt is against the Buffet rule because he thinks it's a tax on buffets.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Win.

snackypants January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Chris Christie also hates this tax.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Boehner looks like beef jerky. Emphasis on the jerky part.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 9:58 pm

And hey, I'm raising my own taxes, too.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 9:58 pm

"We don't begrudge financial success". Eat shit, MInt RawMoney!

SlunkyPete January 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I think "America–Built to Last" is a better slogan than "America–Chevy Tough."

Spurning Beer January 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm

"It's Not Your Father's America."

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

You can say that again.

saratoday January 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I like how he just mentioned the 98%. Ha ha.

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

"Being a little cynical?" Cynicism is the fuel that gets me through my day. (Here.)

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Oh for crying out loud. They can't applaud sharing the tax burden. Fuck em all.

philpjfry January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Ya know?!! it makes you wonder what they would clap for.

Loaded_Pants January 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Maybe putting kids to work cleaning the toilets in their own schools?

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Nice to remind everyone of the shit the Republicans pulled with the debt ceiling.

philpjfry January 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Boner is no longer Orange but hasa changed to red

Loaded_Pants January 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

What color will he turn next? Purple? Blue?

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:03 pm

One can only hope, dear.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Even better hope – he wakes up blah tomorrow morning.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Oh, pdog, you really know how to get a leftie all hot and hard. Or hot and wet, depending on your equipment.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Is someone yelling "No!"?

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I thought I heard that too.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

They're actually yelling NOOO-URNS.

Barb January 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Oh snap! No more insider trading in Congress. No more owning stocks in companies that benefit from their votes. He's talking about you, Boehner and all that oil stock you have that would make you some money from the pipeline.

Spurning Beer January 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

I think I hear Ed McMahon in the audience.

HEY-OH!

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Zombie Ed McMahon replace Zombie Ronald Reagan this year.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

And you're all corrupt too! I like feisty Obama.

fuflans January 24, 2012 at 11:53 pm

i have been rehearsing things all night and missed this. i was HOPING we would see this bamz.

and i knew you would note it.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:18 am

Me too.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Fuck the filibuster; yes.

Radiotherapy January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

You mean the one that isn't in their precious literal reading of the Constitution.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

It's an insidious practice that long predates America; it was invented by the great historical right-wing douchebag Cato the Younger, first to try and prevent Julius Caesar from running for Consul, then to try and block many of his bills meant to benefit the plebeians.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Let me see if I can guess: was that PhD in history, by any chance? Ancient, even, perhaps?

proudgrampa January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I didn't see Nancy Pelosi applaud the idea of no insider trading for Congress…

Man0nTheStreet January 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

For real! It's almost enough to make me give a serious though to that wing-knut email that goes around about "Congreff not passing laws that don't apply to Members"

philpjfry January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Boner look like he is going to burst

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I had to switch to the C-Span feed just to protect my sanity. Can barely see Boner's chin tip now!

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Boehn-head looks worried.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I haven't seen Boner's face change all night. I think he's dead.

Terry January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

All his sphyncters are clenched.

NellCote71 January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Botox, baby, Botox

MosesInvests January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Just pickled.

DaRooster January 25, 2012 at 9:42 am

Worried about how much drinking time he's losing.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Ladies and gentleman, I am proud to report that the state of my laundry is drying.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

"Everything is going to be fine. you'll see".

OurHoboSenator January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Ugh, stop with the false equivalence stuff, Mr. President.

memzilla January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Boehner looks like he is swallowing a particularly spicy bag of lightly salted poisoned rat dicks.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Someone get that tan a glass of milk.

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

But, but, but if I can't insider trade, why should I be in Congress??

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Because even if you're a toad like Newt attractive members of your preferred gender will throw themselves at you? It's like being an athlete or a rock star.

Radiotherapy January 24, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Because you can retire and become a lobbyist.

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Wait, no inside trading for elected reps nor bennies for bundling lobbyist cronies?

Ooh, I like how he emphasized "BOTH parties" should put an end to this. My hat's off to you, Mister President.

SlunkyPete January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

"Finally, none of this can happen" (I love quoting out of context.)

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

The Executive Branch needs to change. Yeah, that got some applause, but I think I know what "change" they were applauding.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Sorry, but with these Republicans you'll never get consensus.

philpjfry January 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Making another pitch for bi partisanship. They hate you Barry and will never help you do anything

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:11 pm

But at least 55% of America does not know, or believe, that and so one must always be careful to play the game. This is what you have to do for example when you work with people you can't stand. You know you can't win with them. But if you beat the shit out of them as they so richly deserve, *you'll* lose your job (and a whole bunch of other shit) and they'll look like the victim. So you go out of your way to be reasonable ALL the fucking time and keep trying to do what youcan and work around the rest.

I've worked with people I couldn't stand and it drives me crazy. I don't know how Barry does it.

iburl January 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Rand Paul sat down first after the Lincoln quote.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm

His cyborg knee must be bothering him.

iburl January 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Aqua-botic-buddha?

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm

He's had a rough week.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:12 pm

HAHAHAHA … I'm sorry. That was pretty mean. He has.

memzilla January 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

OK, who stood up last?

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Firing squad?

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Lincoln quote!
Drink!

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 10:04 pm

"Gov't reliance… only for what one cannot do for oneself, and no more."

Channeling Lincoln. Joe Wilson is stifling a "You Lie!" right about now.

Harry_S_Truman January 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Yes, there is something we cannot achieve: getting Mitch McConnell a lower lip.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Mitch McConnell is made of nutsacs.

finallyhappy January 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm

During applause, do you all hear weird feedback? Sara Benicasa called it wind chimes. I get in on all three channels I tried.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I wish Sara would let me ring her chimes.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Pdog, you slut, I have dibs on Sara. If she ever comes back to us again, of course.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:48 pm

She's posting on several other blogs now. I think she must have asked Ken for too many Ameros.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Which ones? I'll follow her anywhere.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Oh, thank god–you heard that too? I'm pretty sure I'm getting a sinus infection anyway, and thought it was affecting my ears as well…

sati_demise January 24, 2012 at 11:32 pm

yea, me too, thought it was my sinuses

Biff January 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Jesus christ, why didn't anyone tell me to come to a new post an hour ago?

Barb January 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm

We left you a trail of breadcrumbs and empty beer bottles.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:14 pm

You sure those bottles were *empty* baby? Cause I could use a drink right now.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Liz did, and the link is right at the bottom of the comments too!

Biff January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Uh, I was still at the pre-SOTU warm-up post…

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:13 pm

I'm sorry, baby, there was all this hot gazillion-way action going on here, and we had a very red Boehner, and … things just got out of hand, is all.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 11:14 pm

This always happens to me. I need to remember that each of the editors need to get the pageviews for their money, but I always forget. Perhaps, it'd be nice if the editors would post a simple "goodbye" or something when another's thread is up, but I realize that they are in competition.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:51 pm

I found out because either my web browser sucks or Intense Debate sucks (or both) and I keep having to shut down my browser and reboot to make Wonkette work, so I saw the lead page with the new blog post.

Negropolis January 25, 2012 at 2:43 am

Bingo. I said it the other night, but these pages-long threads are just killing my browser.

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I think it was smart of Barry's/ SOTU handlers to tap a weepy-eyed sort of Al Franken-distant-cousin lookalike to participate as an invited guest.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Nancy P.. has that special glow that I get when MrLimeylizzie dry humps me from behind when I am bending over the sink.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Try turning the hot water off next time.

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Nothing says love like a dry hump when you're busy doing chores.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:12 pm

You and my wife are one of a kind. Sext tarts!

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I love being molested when I am trying to do other things.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Beats doing the dishes.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Yay Arab Spring!

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm

"Now everybody turn to the person on your right and give 'em a hug".

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Well, that pissed the cat off something spectacular. Thanks a lot, AlterNewt.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I blame Obama.

philpjfry January 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Republicans applaud human dignity, the hypocrites

Biff January 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Hilz is thinking she could have totally won this crowd.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Iran: not really a threat.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Oh, finally the Israel pander.

memzilla January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

AKK! NO LIEBERMAN CLOSEUPS PLZ !!!lebenty!!! Scrotum-jowled sack of crap.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Ballchinian sighting! Ballchinian sighting!

philpjfry January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Cantor is applauding, the world must be ending

OurHoboSenator January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Lieberman! That reminds me — I need to punch Connecticut when I'm there next week.

proudgrampa January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

That's it. We just declared war on Iran.

Terry January 24, 2012 at 10:10 pm

All will be forgiven, though, when the Iranian film wins an Oscar.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Chuck Shumer is beaming.

Spurning Beer January 24, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Someone must be dry humping him over the congressional sink.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Nixon and his speech writers used to call this 'uplift'.

Selfish_T January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm

The only parts of this speech that are actually going to happen are the parts I hate.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

SECOND Israel pander in a minute or two. Joe Loseman just blew his wad.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Oh Hillary, you look so tired. If you need a love slave to make you feel good and relive that… tension, give me call.
MG

ChocoPuff January 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Hillary looks like she just found out that a) Iran got the Bomb, or b) Bill's been f'n another 18 year old. Hard to tell…

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

I think Biden has a hangnail that is bothering him

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

"…a feel good moment to make us remember that no matter whether Republican or Democrat, we’re all basically faced with the same pro-corporate Wall Street Pentagon world-rape choice…"

Layne, I'm getting that tattooed on my ass.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:18 pm

In a spiral around your anus, one hopes.

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Lieberman won't be happy until the bombers are in the air.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

And the rest of the world no longer hates us like they did under Bush.

IndianaKevin January 24, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Opinions of America are higher than they've been in years? Doubt it.

Harry_S_Truman January 24, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Boehner would rather cut off his cock than clap.

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

oh… so all that "We're No. 1" sentiment was just a "best intentions" extrapolation. *refills drink*
or whatever the opposite of "extrapolation" is.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Um, what growing danger of cyberthreats is there, besides /b being assholes?

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Amurkan eccepshunalismisn hic also cyberthreats

Yay

orygoon January 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Ron Wyden! He should Jew-wrestle Cantor and of course win. We'll throw what's left of that weasel into the nearest volcano.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Pleez god yes.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

He made them stand up by saying yay for the TROOPS

ElPinche January 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Who's doin the GOP rebuttal tonight? Larry the Cable guy?

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Mitch Daniels. Larry the Cable Guy, after a hunger strike, with the jokes removed.

iburl January 24, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Then stay tuned to the newsmax network for Herman Cain's Tea Party Rebuttal.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:12 pm

As if Pat Benetar would ever wear brown.

Wadisay January 24, 2012 at 10:12 pm

The Repubs are applauding our gay armed forces.

ElPinche January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

"gay armed forces" as in young male escort services, perhaps?

HarryButtle January 25, 2012 at 12:21 pm

"I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON!"

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:12 pm

How long has this been going on? Even Fidel Castro is getting tired.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:12 pm

"We are the one indispensible nation in world affairs and I intend to keep it that way." Yes, we are like the cloth shopping bag of military forces.

Man0nTheStreet January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Hey! Is that bald guy in the bleachers banging *both* the 1st and 2nd ladies?

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Yay General Shinseki dood!

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

If you're going to make all our returning soldiers cops and firefighters, please make sure you take care of the PTSD first, OK?

Barb January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I listen to the speech. Do I get my food stamps now?

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

No, but you can apply for a voter ID.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Depends, you trading them in for beer?

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Can I buy flavored condoms with food stamps?

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Are you planning to *eat* them?

Because if you are, we should definitely argue that it's a food item.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 11:30 pm

You're a blond, white woman, right? So you can totally haz foostampz without direct, public scapegoating.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Time to brag about DADT repeal I think.

DarwinianDemon January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Really Ken? In the face of Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich you're going with the "they're all the same" meme?

Ken Layne January 24, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Actually, that's what *Obama* said at the end of his speech, did you not see it? If there's any time to draw very clear lines between an Obama admin and a potential GOP admin, tonight would've been a good time. Instead, Obama says we're all Americans with the same goals, etc. We are most certainly *not.*

CivicHoliday January 25, 2012 at 11:10 am

Referring to the public vs. referring to two millionaire puppets are two different things. Once again he's trying to get the public on his side with all the populist rhetoric, and draw a line between what he is proposing (clearly much of which is favored by lots of Americans, especially thanks to OWS) vs. what is being proposed by GOP leaders

Terry January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I think Boehner isn't really tanned. I think he's been stained and varnished.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Boehner's spirit animal is an antique leather chaise lounge.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:20 pm

I can see the stained part.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Why can't he just be stained and vanished?

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Gayz in the military! Yay!

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

And remember again, I got bin Laden!

BerkeleyBear January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Got OBL chunk, boo-yah!

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Since Daniels is giving the Republican response this year (I'll save my rant about why state-level office holders shouldn't be the ones giving them for later), I really, REALLY hope he gets interrupted a bunch by union protesters.

Terry January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Hillary, I love you but change that hairstyle

memzilla January 24, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Seriously. I've seen more becoming hairstyles in a Vermeer painting.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Yeah; that looks like something that belongs on a twelve-year-old.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm

I think she just fell asleep after washing her hair and it dried that way. It happens to the oldz.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Alice bands! I remember them from *MY* childhood. And that was in another century.

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Second person ["you"] doesn't work well here Barry. Most of your immediate audience has never served for our country overseas, nor have their children, nor will their children's children if they can help it.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Amurkan eccepshunalismisn hic also cyberthreats.

Hillary smiles. I worry.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Smooth way to slip the Osama reminder in there, Prez.

Seriously.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Smooooth Barry.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Barry's a smoove dood. Smoove moove, Bar!

Spurning Beer January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Mitt Romney believes in the Mission, too. In France. As a missionary.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

As Prezdint, he'll be the missionary position-in-chief.

OurHoboSenator January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Let's wrap this up. I have to pee.

CountryClubJihadi January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Word.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Leon Pancetta looks like weepy bacon.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Schumer looks like a teen-age girl in love with Obamer.

finallyhappy January 24, 2012 at 10:17 pm

yes, that's it exactly!!!

Terry January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Chuck Schumer is posing for animal crackers

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

We built this nation on Rock and Roll.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:20 pm

I owe you a Coke.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

We built this nation on rock'n roll!

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Did Peggy Noonan write this ending? Does she hate Newt that much?

Barb January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

"50 stars on that flag." See, I knew he knew how many states we have.

iburl January 24, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Kenya believe it?

Dudleydidwrong January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Destiny: sticking together. Good idea. Send all Republicans into the sea and we might get something done. Otherwise, we're fucked.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Sticking together is what good waffles do.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Man. I've been three posts back. Way to let us know, folks.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:17 pm

We missed you.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Sorry. I'll try to do better…

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

I think you and I missed the updates. Oops

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Awesome speech.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Totally fucking awesome. Change your tagline, dammit.

fuflans January 25, 2012 at 12:00 am

oh yay! i missed and came here for coverage.

i am seeing all sorts of thumbs up from the regulars.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

…there is no challenge too great; no mission too hard….

"…No mountain high enough, no valley low enough…"

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Big wind up. Looks like are going for the big finish.

WinterOuthouse January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

The turtle is being a petulant little baby prick.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Nice, nice very nice.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Outstanding. Rang all the bells. He's one helluva Orator and he really screwed the Republicans at several points.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:27 pm

You know what the BIGGEST problem is with Hopey? He makes every single Republican sound like a whiny piece of shit. He's got a fucking BEAUTIFUL voice, mellow, with rich, warm overtones, it sounds like a good clarinet or an oboe, and despite having the slightly stiff external manner of the typical academic. His voice is very soothing and pleasant, and even when you don't agree with what he's saying, listening to him is a real pleasure. And listening to Mitt or Mitch right afterwards? Nails on chalkboard.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

"God bless the United State of America!"

And while you're at it Yahweh, please fuck the Confederate States of America.

proudgrampa January 24, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Nice speech!

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Bullshit about the "great divide" in opinion about economics. "Fairness" is just WRONG!

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Peroration man!

orygoon January 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

If Barry kissed me I wouldn't wash my face for a year.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I shook Bill Clinton's hand and it is still unwashed.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:22 pm

I shook Jimmy Carter's hand. I washed it and I like the smell of peanuts.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Yeah. That smell gets old really fast

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:22 pm

You must not own any blue dresses.

memzilla January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Ken, today We Are All Cyber Threats.

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I think Hillary was going for some Obama tongue just then.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Wouldn't you?

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I've come to the conclusion you can't be too obscure at Wonkette.
I blame google.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Andrea Vampire wonders aloud if he took too much credit for bin Laden.

mavenmaven January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Where's Michele Bachman's response? Or Sara Palin's? Come on, Obama rocked it, we have to have something stoopid to make fun of now.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Will Farrell?

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Oh, you know it's on its way. It has to be.

ProgressiveInga January 24, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Jindal the Page would be nice.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:26 pm

We're getting Daniels the Anti-Union Shithead.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

We must be the same age

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:20 pm

It could be because several TV shows simultaneously referenced that song last week, weirdly. It's somehow back in the zeitgeist.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Will there be refreshments?

ElPinche January 24, 2012 at 10:20 pm

"God bless the United State of America!….except Texas and Arizona. Fuck them."

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Don't forget South Carolina. Think of what we were just forced to go through.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Ray LaHood looks like he speaks with his fists.

fuflans January 25, 2012 at 12:01 am

i believe he always does.

Barb January 24, 2012 at 10:22 pm

I wonder if Palin is going to give the Republican re-butthole? I mean "rebuttal."

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:30 pm

I wouldn't mention buttholes around Republicans, they're all liable to jump you.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I was told there would be 'Coming Soon' clips from the Dem. convention.

smashedinhat January 24, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Peggy Noonan on ABC, "a speech about everything is a speech about nothing." Cunt.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:23 pm

She is just jealous that someone else wrote it.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Peggy Noonan is so Dim it's a miracle that she doesn't fall over.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Oh no, Peggy Noonan is very smart indeed. There's no denying that.

However, in this case she's wrong.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Is she? I haven't read that much by her, but I mostly couldn't stand what she wrote because it seemed to me to lack substance. Not analysis so much as opinion, and the opinion, at that, of one of the last vestiges of a crumbling demographic. A Rich Bitch who dallies with the written word as a way of earning the so-called gravitas required for punditry.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Peggy Noonan long ago mastered the rhetorical flourishes to sound profound without saying anything at all.

She's all style with no substance – she's the drag queen of punditry.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 11:34 pm

That quote is so quintessentially Peggy; all drugz and no buzz.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Ken, can we please have a short liveblog of Midget Daniel's rebuttal?

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Okay, I quit.

My iPhone autocorrect is officially funnier than me.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

I'm trying to stay awake……..
For the response….

Ken Layne January 24, 2012 at 10:49 pm

I tried … I think I actually dozed off. If they just wanted to avoid the comedy viral video fun of a Jindal or Bachmann, the GOP succeeded … by putting America to sleep.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

You've followed enough assholes into dark corridors for one night, soldier.

Sahhh-LOOT!

imissopus January 24, 2012 at 11:37 pm

I think I just heard Marcus Bachman yell "Never!"

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:25 pm

I'll stick this in this thread as well:

That was a truly stunning speech. I might not agree with everything in it (e.g. wrt energy) but that delivery and conviction was amazing. It really shows up the truly pedestrian nature of the current crop of Repub candidates.

Loving the "no new taxes on the 98% but the 2% are paying more" theme.

Radiotherapy January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Just get rid of the Bush/Obama tax cuts And that bullshit payroll tax bribe.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Yeah. And then to have to listen to Mitchy Dee rolling his enormous eyes at us and waggling a rusty, freckle-spotted pair of hairy brows.

Dear god why did I look.

fuflans January 25, 2012 at 12:03 am

i missed tonight and am so pleased so many of you are in agreement.

herding cats, etc.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm

And now Mitch Daniels shows us all why he should NOT jump into the presidential race…

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Is he a vampire? Shine a light on Mitch Daniels. Does he sparkle?

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Srsly. Oh god he looked as if someone was pranging him from the rear every fourth word, his eyes would suddenly widen and his eyebrows would waggle as his intonation rose, and he appeared to be lifting bodily off his seat for a brief second.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Rachel just said the unions in Indiana are running a big anti-Mitch Daniels ad there when he gives the rebuttal.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Heeeeres Daniels!

Wow, this will suck.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

And here's Mitch Daniels; even he has to praise Obama for getting bin Laden.

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

And admit Bush drove the economy in the ditch.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

TRUE FACT: Midget Daniel's forehead makes up 40% of his overall height.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

WTH is Mitch Wotsisface doing with the eyebrows?

fuflans January 25, 2012 at 12:04 am

coordinating with dr paul?

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

At least I made the after party. Found you degenerates on the correct thread. Harumph.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Me too. Humph.

Harry_S_Truman January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

And now, a word from Kevin Spacey Mitch Daniels on how Obama suckz.

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Mitch is clutching his precioussssss ring.

OurHoboSenator January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Why is there a hole cut out of the American flag on MyManMitch's lapel?

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Wow, 30 seconds into this talk and I can already see why Mitch Daniels bombed out as a possible Prez candidate. Where's the blah-hate, dude?

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Just having a little life without those constantly popping eyballs would be good.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 12:10 am

Luckily for me, I guess, I couldn't even watch that turd.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

ZOMG, why is Mitch Daniels reminding all of us that the Republicans are CONSTANTLY getting involved in sexual scandals.

ThundercatHo January 24, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Thank you President Obama for showing us what real family values look like.

WTF! Is it opposite day?

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I'm shocked.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Mitch Daniels looks like someone who is made up to look like Bush Sr.

Wadisay January 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Mitch Daniels is using his fear voice.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:37 pm

That high squeak? I thought that was the sound hamsters made when sexually excited.

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

1/5 PRIME MEN? What language is this?

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

To serve man…it's a cook book!

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Trickle-Down Government? WTF?

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Mitch Daniels is just straight-up lying now.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:37 pm

He's been lying all along.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

He looks like Coolidge.

Spurning Beer January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Rita? Jennifer?

Angry_Marmot January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Without Coolidge's humor.

EdFlintstone January 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I saw a good drive-in movie on Mitch's forehead.

DonnyKerabotsos January 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Half of all persons under 30 didn't go to work today? Yeah, they went to school, had recess and then took a nap. But wait until Newt is Preznit.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Shorter Mitch Daniels: "WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE RICH WHITE MAN?!"

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Is Mitch Daniel's hair painted on? Or is that Danielses?

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

TODAY WE ARE ALL SOON-TO-HAVES.

johnnyzhivago January 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

A state of the union without any firm plans to bomb a new country??? Is this suddenly France we're living in?

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Even Republicans are exhausted by that meme from listening to the GOP "debates."

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

"As Republicans, our first concern is those who cannot climb up the ladder defeating President Obama.

ProgressiveInga January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Wasn't he W's budget director? Yes? Then, F*CK YOU, Mitch.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Exactly. They keep hoping the rest of America will forget that.

That, and his wife's a fucking howling loon — or he is. It's not clear.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Yeah, America is just like Greece or Spain. You hyperbolizing, deliberately ignorant fuck.

Spurning Beer January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Mitch Daniels is not as much fun as his alcoholic cousin, Jack.

ThundercatHo January 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm

FTW! Note: I did participate in the drinking game tonight.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Obama's grand experiment in trickle-down government, Mitch? It's sure feels a lot better than the violent urine stream we got during the Dumbya administration.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Yeah, well, that was a trickle-ON government, dood.

proudgrampa January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Mitch Daniels translation: THE SKY IS FALLING!!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Could someone please sedate Governor Daniels' eyebrows? They're in peril of jumping off his forehead altogether.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:41 pm

FTW. Jezus, it's like looking in at your pet caterpillars in a bottle.

johnnyzhivago January 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

My suggestion for a nuclear attack on Twitter must not have reached his desk.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Mitch Daniels: the charisma of Romney and the sliminess of Gingrich. WIN!

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Again….here's the chart I made comparing the unemployment rate under Reagan and Obama… http://i1115.photobucket.com/albums/k551/denniver

…and Reagan won re-election in a landslide.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Why do you Hate America?

Ken Layne January 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Also, Reagan had far worse numbers, so his administration changed the way unemployment is reported, so that it immediately "dropped" by five points. Hahaha those people were shameless. (And it worked.)

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:42 pm

So you're saying the "Obama's numbers are worse than Reagan's he wil loze" meme is bull?

BarackMyWorld January 25, 2012 at 1:08 am

Yup.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Constant disparagement of people in business? What speech was this fuckhead listening to?

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

"Pay their fair share" = HATE

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Steve Jobs!
Drink!

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Oh god Daniels is boring; he's making me want to sleep.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Did Mitch just say being a businessman is the noblest calling a man can have?

I think Jesus has something to say about that, fucker.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Scientists, teachers, doctors, nurses, the rare non-corrupt cops, firefighters, porn stars; all much nobler and less well-paid callings.

Harry_S_Truman January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Jobs created most of his jobs in China, asshole.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Um, so Mitch, why is Apple headquartered in uber-liberal California rather than Alabama? Answer me that.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Because it's closer to China?

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Must be it.

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

I gag every time a Republican tries to use the word 'equality's with a straight face.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

"Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored.""Please Stop. I'm Bored." "Please Stop. I'm Bored."

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

And the Ig Nobel goes to….

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Not This Asshole.

and, just for you, my favorite collection of Miss Sweetie Poo Interventions!

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Hilarious!

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 11:49 pm

I have so wanted to bring Miss Sweetie Poo into meetings for years.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Steve Jobs made huge numbers of jobs. In China.

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Yeah BITCH….Make money and donate to REPUBLICANS…you poor ass fucker

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

I see that America's Littlest Governor is going with the Bachmann treatment for his rebuttal.

Why the hell does it sounds like everyone from Indiana is from Kentucky? This is a state that literally borders mine to the south. Not even Ohio sounds so Southern.

Biff January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

What, staring into camera #2?

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Yep.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Mitch Daniels is fucking America with his eyes.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Hate-fucking.

Extemporanus January 25, 2012 at 1:23 am

In retrospect, "touching America inappropriately with his eyes" probably would've been more accurate.

Sparky MacGyver January 25, 2012 at 12:23 am

He has two gestures. The side-glance (read: I think you're stupid), and the head shake (No. Just no.)

Extemporanus January 25, 2012 at 1:25 am

What, you didn't find that alluringly coquettish?

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Making money is a noble calling.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

A pefectly safe Pipeline?

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

solid diamond

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Even as someone who love laying pipe, I know that you want to have protection.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 12:22 am

I see what you did there.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

An Unsinkable Ship.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Perfectly Safe Pipelines are the best kind, I must agree.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Mitch's lizard eyes are driving me nuts as he widens them with each word — a PRO POVERTY POLICY blinkblink

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

I….I….just….ARRRGGGGHHH…

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I know.
Have some tea and watch some teletubbies.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

That DOES sound good.

RavenRant January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

OMFG! Could Mitch Daniels be any more smarmy and dishonest? Newt's obvious psychosis is less repulsive than this 'plausible' sociopath.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

We must destroy the safety net in order to save it.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

res ipsa loquitur.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

"Businessman is one of our noblest occupations." God, this is going from zero to awesome so fast.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Mitch: fuck the young, you get no Medicare or Social Security when you're old.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Pay for regulations in America or bribes in China.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

At least Bobby Jindal was funny to look at.

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Mitch the Bitch….though I used to only call McConnel that…but I guess they're twin sons of different motherfuckers

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Brother from another motherfucker, dood.

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 10:56 pm

That works too but I'm from the Fogelberg era

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Which planet, exactly, is he from?

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Mordor.

OurHoboSenator January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Hoosieranus

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Ballsuckian. Or Kochsuckian, depending on whether you live in the Northern or Southern hemisphere.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:42 pm

One Ball spins clockwise, and one spins counterclockwise!

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

My bullshit per second meter has blown a fuse.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Is he under 5 feet tall?

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

I don't know but he seems entirely without melanin

Mondo_Cane January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

known as 'Lord Shorty' locally – unaffectionately –

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

I don't know, but I bet he has teeny tiny feet.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Word on the street is that he's like 5'2", 5'3" tops.

He stands on a box when at speaking events and debates. (Really.)

orygoon January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Mitch is flirty with his eyebrows. What's with that?

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

I believe it was Ezra Klein who once said that worrying about debt during a recession is like worrying about your gas bill when your house is on fire.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

What channel was the speech Daniels heard on? Cartoon Network?

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

SyFy.

Gainsbourg69 January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Mitched Daniels' face looks like a slapped ass.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

"The dumb way"

OK, so let's hear the smart way. Oh ok – I see. It's stopping the top 341,000 people benefits and pension checks. That'll save, oh, near a billion dollars?

As opposed to taxing them properly, which will generate nearly a trillion.

However, in Republican-land, it's the President who is bad at arithmetic.

whatwhatinthe January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Mitch Daniels looks like someone cut around his features and shifted them all down to the lower left corner of his face.

FakaktaSouth January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I just had the virtual experience of SorosBot coming over to the apartment (ie, old thread) where some of us were still chatting and hitting the bong, and making me notice that the cool kids had already left, gone out to a field, started the bonfire and gotten drunk. (that pretty much describes most of my youthful outings.)

ANYway, hey y'all! Mitch is failing at proper Newt-onian hate. This is awesome. He's actually boring me instead of pissing me off. Who'd Barack properly attack? Who passed what alone? Who shot down what? HELL NO YOU CAN'T!!!!! Blabbity blab.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Glad to invite you over to these parts.

FakaktaSouth January 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Thanks man, I often depend on the kindness of wonketteers.

fuflans January 25, 2012 at 12:17 am

well i missed everything so once again i am special needs class.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 12:27 am

aw, fuf, we missed ya too.

mindo99 January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Mitch Daniels uses the word 'bossy', ergo he sounds gay.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

What is this "other category" of which he speaks?

ProgressiveInga January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Blah?

pbrex January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

All of 'em.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Gay, of course. What other category dare not speak its name?

orygoon January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

YOU LIE!

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Askew you, too, buddy. What's with the lookin out the corner of the eyes?

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

'…some Americans…'

Dog whistle!

Harry_S_Truman January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Daniels looks like the illegitimate spawn of Kevin Spacey and Orinn Hatch.

pbrex January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Other category?! Damn he is afraid of the gay.

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Is mouth is saying "pro-poverty policy", but his eyebrows are saying "hey baby".

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

I'm just not drunk enough for this.

Obama's administration's constant effort to divide us?!?

What Fucking channel do you watc… Oh, never mind.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

"The wrong governor…"

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Is Mitch Daniels shirt fueled by radium. It positively glows.

ProgressiveInga January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

I think it's a dickie. From Sears Boy's Dept.

FlownOver January 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

And now, with the Republican response, Gov. Rachel Dratch (R-IN).

WAAAH waah.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Daniels Downer.

gullywompr January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Still with the fucking lightbulbs of freedom?!?! Sheesh!

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Neighbors are people too.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

not mine. Mine are rednecks who threaten to shoot me

smashedinhat January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

This is pretty weak. I need drink.

DonnyKerabotsos January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Speaking of lightbulbs….nice skull, Mitch.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

This is the guy the pugs are thinking of throwing into the mix. Oh jeezus he sounds like a mincing ponce after Hopey. I say this, of course, as a mincing ponce.

FakaktaSouth January 24, 2012 at 10:53 pm

I think he sounded like he was trying too hard. Of course I agree with my gf The Maddow – it was all BE AFEARED YOU FUCKERS, but he's too much of a poseur to go the full Cheney, much less a good W, even with all the left off g's he used tryin' to do some talkin' with the bubbas round these parts. They shoulda let Cantor do the talking. The haters want hate. (I just seen it on the facebook) Reasonable folk have only one fucking choice. Period. (BTW, digging your latest incarnation for sure.)

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:57 pm

I thought I was imaginin' him playin' the hick! Good so he was doing that. They can't let Cantor do the talking because all-out frothing at the mouth and screaming "HATE! STAB! KILL!" will just really upset the proles who are already real nervous at this point watching their shenanigans.

Thanks, I'm hoping it sinks Mitt like notThatDewey thinks it will. Then I'll change my av to the NEXT contender. I have found the perfect Republican Candidate Destroying Tool! YAAAH!

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 11:23 pm

PONCE LIBEL!!

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Yup, my neighbor totally fucked the country up. Always leaving his newspaper on the doorstep and such.

iburl January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Re: Mitch Daniels: What an out of touch loser. I won't be surprised if the Dems take the house back after this wingnut speech.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

My father offered me to come over and watch the Republican response with him. I told him honestly that he wouldn't hear anything Daniels said over my yelling.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Sounds like your Dad is really sweet and loves you, though. That is great!

People like me had to live in the closet back when until we were all grown up and far from home — and even then there was always the fear that someone would talk. It makes me really really happy to see that changing.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Mitch Daniels sounds like a kid who memorized a speech for teevee.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 12:31 am

His speech certainly had nothing to do with the speech before his.

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Give up on the lightbulbs already! Who are who, Thomas Fucking Edison?

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Would You Buy A Car From This Man?

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Bammers just got through saying Americans are the most efficient workers(repeatedly) in the world and nothing can stop us now, and Daniels said he didn't say anything like that. Holy crap – DRINK!

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

MITCH DANIELS WAS GEORGE BUSH'S BUDGET DIRECTOR WHEN THE TAX CUTS WERE ENACTED AND WE RANG UPRECORDDEBTAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!1!!1

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Ironic no?

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 11:08 pm

It's like free reign, on your inauguration day…

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

City on a hill! DRINK!

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

"We can reopen the stairway upward." At about 6:45 Mitch Daniels is going to break into a long guitar solo at a higher tempo, and it is going to blow your mind.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

"Freeborn citizens", huh?

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Birther dog whistle.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:42 pm

That made my next-door neighbor's dog howl.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

More patriotic than Freebird citizens.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

OK that's two days in a row someone's referenced Freebird here; goofy.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Great minds recognize shit.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:46 pm

"It was a pretty good speech, I guess, but it probably sounded better in the original German"–Molly Ivins, on Pat Buchanan's 1992 "culture war" speech

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Can we throw in the stockades anyone who says "ma-TOOR"?

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Yes. Along with the people who say 'Luncheon".

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:42 pm

You grab their back end, hon, I'll grab the front end.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Yes, also "ruhf" instead of roof.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:50 pm

THANK YOU.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:56 pm

It's a Midwest thing, but yeah it was one of those affections (like "pop" instead of soda) that annoyed me when I lived there. They also say room like "rum" (yes, exactly like they were talking about the drink). It seems most pronounced among Minnesotans; or as they pronounce it, Meenahsohtahns.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 11:00 pm

I wanted to bring up "rum" as well, because it's always ticked me off. I also knew a Wisconsinite who said "plague" and "vague" with a short A sound, like he was trying to say "plaque" and didn't know any better.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Yoooothes.

RavenRant January 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Utes.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:53 pm

As they say in Jersey.

ThundercatHo January 24, 2012 at 11:23 pm

axe (ask), don't instead of doesn't, over-exaggerate are currently on my no-fly list.

EdFlintstone January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

This had all the enthusiasm of an insurance sales pitch.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Pick the wrong light bulb???????

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Ooh, he said "free-born" citizens, did you hear that? What a fucking weasel.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Thought that was "Pre Born".

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Yeah, right.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm

A city on a hill that shines once again? This from a guy from Indianapolis? Really?

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Kurt Vonnegut said that Indianapolitans have voices 'like a bandsaw cutting through sheet metal." So, yay, Hoosiers.

Chet Kincaid January 24, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Anyone who has endured the mind-numbing dullness of driving through Indiana knows that God has not placed a single hill in that state.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

City on the Hill? In that case, I DO favor leveling mountains.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Rachel just had a shit-fit about that. She says the City on the Hill was not "shining" as the quote is, "A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden."

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but
tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward,
and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I vote for this offering.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Dame Peggy?

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:46 pm

(It's a Simpsons quote).

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Oh.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

I don't know about the baseball part, but that speech reminded me of a pitcher – it definitely made me want to hurl.

OurHoboSenator January 24, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

Barrelhse January 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Shoes for Industry!

RavenRant January 24, 2012 at 11:12 pm

The Firesign Theater has destroyed my life, by giving me the perfect quip for every occasion, that turns out to be incomprehensible to everyone with whom I share meatspace.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 12:39 am

We're all bozos on the Wonkette bus.

ShaveTheWhales January 25, 2012 at 12:48 am

You may have to go in for re-grooving.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Hooray For Everything!

Negropolis January 25, 2012 at 2:47 am

Don't blame me; I voted for Kodos.

Kodos/Kang 2012!

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Huh…didn't say anything of note, yet didn't make me want to crawl under the bed and hide like Piyush Jindal did. So, uh….I really didn't notice whether he said anything, really.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Wotthehell, he was droning endlessly on in that cough-syrupy tone of one who has recently had to swallow revoltingly bad medicine and is surreptitiously trying to scrape his tongue off on his tonsils. Plus with the endlessly waggling eyebrows and widening eyes at most inappropriate moments, and the complexion the colour of freshly cooked lobster, it was hard to actually concentrate on his words.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Mission accomplished

iburl January 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Tweety needs to go to bed.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:42 pm

NBC;s interviewing Mittens next; I'm turning this off and putting the Joan Jett back on.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Well, I'm not listening to THAT, although I'll hang out here if y'all do.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Ditto to that, bro. Although I suppose I should go get some dinner to go with the beer I've been drinking.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:02 am

Damn, I wish you lived nearby. I have a fridge full of good food. Although it might be spicy for the likes of you. Go eat already, I don't want you should get sick.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 12:42 am

I lerv spicy food. There's so much I can't eat that spicy food is about the only enjoyable food I can eat. I have an iron stomach – it's just my intestine that doesn't like me anymore.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Joan was my first crush, way back as a kid. It was both disappointing and hot to learn that she wasn't interested in people with penises like myself.

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 11:01 pm

You Lie! I wish. Yeah, Joan. sigh.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:02 am

I'm still totally in love with her.

Mumbletypeg January 25, 2012 at 12:19 am

After seeing "The Runaways," I couldn't get "Cherry Bomb" out of my head. It was playing inner-loop style earlier today in me brain, something I read on here prompted it.

FakaktaSouth January 25, 2012 at 12:30 am

One of my clearest childhood memories involves singing on either end of a jump rope (this is sadly not a euphemism, we were 9 or 10 and this was our microphone) with my best friend Heather, who was quite a JoanJett type – I LOVE ROCK N ROLL over and over and over again. We were so tough. JJ looks good still now too.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 12:36 am

Oh yeah; I just looked it up, and apparently she's now 53, and yet she still looks amazingly hot; and she's still rocking the leather.

And the video for her cover of Crimson and Clover (one of the few that, to me, is better than the original) awakened certain feelings in my seven year old self that I didn't know I had before. Though the fact that she didn't change the pronouns should've been a dead giveaway that she would never be interested in me.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:33 am

That's so cute, though. Today, kids have tons of useless glittery shit that they break and throw away about three weeks after they get 'em. Back then, we had to be *creative* because we just didn't have any of that stuff.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 10:56 am

Chrissie Hynde or GTFO.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Was Daniels reading from a TELEPROMPTER?

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I was inspired … to vomit for the third time tonight.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

What does a Hoosier know about Niagara? Nothing! Nothing at all I tell you. And they don't know what an escarpment is either.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Nice contrast? isn't it?

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Worst. Afterparty. Evah. At least I brought coke.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I won't ask you for a toot, because you'll need all you got to get that outa your ears.

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Thanks, I'll save the acid for something else.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Man, I would totally do acid during the next Repub debate.

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Debates are bad trips, too, my friend.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:03 am

ZOMG, it would be spectacularly weird.

I once dropped four tabs of blotter with a friend, an ex-marine who served in VN, and then we went and watched Apocalypse Now.

Negropolis January 25, 2012 at 2:45 am

I much prefer Pepsi, myself, though, both burn like a motherf%ck#r taking it through the nose.

salt_bagel January 24, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Let's have a big round of applause for Mitch "Saliva Noises" Daniels!

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I'm going to take Grumpe's advice and opt for tea and Telletubbies.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Whaaaa? After watching Obama speak to a bunch of Tea Party Teletubbies for over an hour?

Barrelhse January 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I'm going with Bugs and Drugs.
(Bugs Bunny)

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

At least Mitch was no Bobby 'Volcano' Jindall.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:04 am

Mitch was a cold, wet fart.

Buckminster January 25, 2012 at 12:25 am

Thank God. I have never heard such a besmirch on the great state of Louisiana.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

haha, some tard on CNN called Daniels' speech "like a glass of warm milk with a fly in it – both boring AND depressing"

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 11:05 pm

I think that's spot on. That's exactly the way I felt about it.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:04 am

I hope you're sorry. You made me LOL and scared at least one of the cats out of a whole pound of growth.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 25, 2012 at 12:20 am

I wish I could claim credit for that bon mot. Please give your cat a stroke from me!

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:34 am

He's back and snoring peacefully, ignoring the bloody slash he left on my leg.

Buckminster January 25, 2012 at 12:26 am

Spot on! evasive eyes to boot

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Mitch Daniels will not sleep until every American is making $5 an hour.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:53 pm

And while every American is sleeping, he'll steal $4 of it back.

Oh, and am I the only one that had to refresh their web browser like three times before it would let them make a comment just now. Sometimes I think Intense Debate is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Americans for Prosperity, Inc.

Buckminster January 25, 2012 at 12:29 am

He can't face the camera! Get him for it

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:48 pm

David Plouffe is on top of his game.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

He better be.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:06 am

The more I see of the Prez and his team, the more I see how *ready* they are. I trust my Prez. He's gonna win this thing. He's the best available candidate.

fuflans January 25, 2012 at 12:24 am

please don't lie to me.

Negropolis January 25, 2012 at 2:52 am

Favreau, dear; speechwriter Jon Favreau. You know, the guy that was caught in a picture drunkely groping a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Hillary Clinton.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm

No, darlin', I was talking about David, because he showed up on air on NBC and spent a few minutes telling Brian Wilson how fulla shit he was.

ETA: Waitaminnit, it's Williams, innit? They all look alike, who gives a shit. Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out.

proudgrampa January 24, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Well, that's it for proudgrampa! I'm gonna get ready for bed. Sleep tight, fellow wonketteers!

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Nitely, nite, PG.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Sleep tight. Don't let the bednewts bite.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:07 am

Oh, that is SO cruel! Now I'll be worrying about bedslime all night long.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:07 am

Sleep tight, sweetie. Have a fond hug.

Gainsbourg69 January 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

America doesn't elect fat men or short hobbits with combovers. No offense to the fat and bald amongst us.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Cleveland Libel!!!

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:09 am

That was *then,* sweetie. You know, before TV. When hardly anyone ever saw the President but maybe once or twice in their lives, if they lived in DC or were famous statesmen or scholars.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Taft and Madison libel!

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Bob Dole Lib–oh wait.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:08 am

I seem to remember reading something about a study (Science News?) showing that Americans consistently preferred tall men with hair in elections.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 10:52 pm

"He's going to appear tomorrow on Today." Brilliant, Brian. This guy's an announcer?

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm

No. But he plays one on Teevee!

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Network news used to be 100 percent separate from network entertainment. They couldn't even talk to each other. Those days are long gone.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:11 am

Ridiculous! I don't want to hear some coiffed moron mouthing blabbage.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 10:52 pm

You mean you wouldn't wear a, whatever those hair things are called, like a little girl?

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Not that you really want to know, but those are called 'headbands'. And no, I would not. Being short I have enough problems being treated like a little girl, don't need to add to it!

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Uh-oh. Barb called SorosBot a tall drink of bitch, which must mean he's at least 6' tall, Barb being a tall drink herself.

Heels are very in right now!

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm

I'm 6'1"; taller than average, but not super tall. But I like short women.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 11:45 pm

"But I like…women."

What a shame. Sigh.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Sounds like you might have found one, SB.

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 11:47 pm

And I'm only 5'3", so even with heels I'm lucky if I can reach people's shoulders.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 12:05 am

OK, in that case, Soros, she's yours. I need a tall woman, like Barb.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:42 pm

You don't need to reach people's shoulders, sweetie. Just SB's.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Shit, Bachmann's on Fox. I thought she had crawled back into her shriveled toadstool and died.

UPDATE: Holy fuck, she literally just said "Green energy – that's socialism." Cunting cuntbag.

Barrelhse January 24, 2012 at 10:58 pm

He's probably with her.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Somebody needs to shove a wind turbine up her twat.

Radiotherapy January 25, 2012 at 1:00 am

First thing in there since a turkey baster 20 years ago.

chascates January 24, 2012 at 11:03 pm

And recycling is Satanism!

RavenRant January 24, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Space Program = Invading Heaven!

PsycWench January 24, 2012 at 11:38 pm

I don't know if anything can top Daniels saying that it's sad how Obama demonizes his opposition.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:12 am

That's fine, you know, because the only people who would listen to her on this issue already agree with her. The rest are all like, "WTF did KrayZ Shelley just say?"

Buckminster January 25, 2012 at 12:30 am

what a turd wrapped in a crap sandwich! she is awful

AlterNewt January 25, 2012 at 12:32 am

She really is the cuntiest cunt in cunt-town.

Radiotherapy January 25, 2012 at 1:01 am

EPA = Politburo

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Daniels is like the guy the Club's owners put up onstage to get people to go home.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:14 am

That reminds me of me when I was young and making a living as a blackjack dealer. The house always sent me out when they were winning too much. The sight of me had the big players creaming their jeans because they KNEW the house was gonna lose if I was dealing. That's Mitch.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Governors should not give SOTU responses. They have no direct power over national policy and usually end up peppering their speech with references to their own state which no one gives a crap about.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Yeah, but they have the foreign policy experience of being C in C of the West Bumfuck National Guard.

Biff January 25, 2012 at 10:37 am

Never even an issue until they started grasping at whatever legitimacy they could invent for Mooselini.

fuflans January 25, 2012 at 12:25 am

and his state is indiana.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 10:53 am

Memo to the Governor: Iran will not be intimidated by the shock and awe of your state's fireworks arsenal.

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Mitt is such a dick. "Between charity and taxes I pay close to 40%". Douche. The bulk of your charity goes to an organization that actively campaigns against equal rights for all Americans. Fuck off.

FakaktaSouth January 24, 2012 at 11:03 pm

And gives that motherfucker so much power within its organization that we don't even KNOW about yet – but, okay Mitt, keep on about how much money you give the church that is gonna freak the fuck out of a bunch of folks. Holy crap it really might be Newt after all.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:16 am

You're right, I think. He's just reminded Amurka once again that he's a Mormon.

LetUsBray January 24, 2012 at 11:04 pm

That "charity" is called a tithe and it's strictly required to be a Mormon in good standing. I mean, it's subject to a freaking audit.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:17 am

That needs to become common knowledge. What the hell kinda religious organization has the *gall* to meddle in its members' private financial matters? That is pretty fucking cheeky!

Biff January 25, 2012 at 10:46 am

First Sunday of the month, members are handed an envelope by (usually) a stake missionary on their way into the chapel. In the envelope is a slip of paper upon which you calculate your earnings for the prior month and write a check for 10% of the pre-tax total. Just like a credit card slip, there's also a line for any additional gratuity gifts you wish to give. This same Sunday is "fast" Sunday, and breakfast and lunch are passed by, and the estimated cost of those meals is considered good form for a "fast offering", see "gifts" above. I hate that I know any of this shit.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:54 pm

How DO you know so much of this shit? Were you raised a Mormon? I hope I haven't offended you with all my comments about Mormons.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Ah, the church which encouraged people to vote for Proposition 8 (against gay marriage) in California. When virtually nobody in California is mormon. Lovely.

ThundercatHo January 24, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Yes, everyone should watch "A Mormon Proposition". I think the LSD contribution to Prop 8's campaign was $22 million.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:17 am

You mean LDS, dear. I won't have one of my favourite drugs maligned that way.

Buckminster January 25, 2012 at 12:33 am

yikes, you slay me. I love it.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 11:05 pm

He said that? Ugh. And hey, those "charity" contributions are tax deductible and so part of the reason he pays so few taxes. I wonder how much of his money went to ensuring that gay Californians don't have equal rights.

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 11:20 pm

He gave that line of bullshit to Brian Williams. Ugh, indeed.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 11:27 pm

As noted below, I turned the TV off as soon as Williams said, "And next, an interview with Mitt Romney"; sounds like I made the right choice.

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

His charity goes to "the CORPORATION of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints" technically. Read it as you will.

correction "corporation of the presiding bishop of the cojcolds" not-blah-blah-blah.

BklynIlluminati January 24, 2012 at 11:16 pm

The fact that he equates charity with tax never mind that half of his "charity" goes to the moron (not a typo)church, makes it seem like such a burden. Charity is supposed to help others and give light to the soul, not make you think of H&R Block. He is such a dick

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 11:36 pm

"Tax The Churches."
"Tax the Business Owned by the Churches."

Zappa, Heavenly Bank Account

Biff January 25, 2012 at 10:50 am

IE: Deseret Industries.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:15 am

Thank you.

Fucking prick that he is, I can't believe he has the gall to say that.

FAIL, Bishop Willard Mittens. Total fucking FAIL.

Buckminster January 25, 2012 at 12:30 am

You have to be it to really understand it.

Buckminster January 25, 2012 at 12:34 am

Some of us would like to tithe, although we are not Mormon, but our heat and electricity bills make that untenable.

LetUsBray January 25, 2012 at 7:43 pm

From what Biff is saying, if you are Mormon and you have heat and electricity bills, that's just too damn bad.

A church with its own IRS: Why, that's not cult-like at all, is it?

ProgressiveInga January 24, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Congressman Reid Ribble (R Wisconsin) is being interviewed on msnbc. Are we being left-wing tv punked? And if that's his real name he must hate his parents.

MilwaukeeKent January 24, 2012 at 11:22 pm

From the state that gave you Reince Priebus — when your Reid Ribbles, seek treatment and suggest your partner do the same.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:19 am

Oh god are these parents just truly horrible people who hate their children, or what? If my parents had stuck me with a name like that, I'd be serving time today.

Radiotherapy January 25, 2012 at 1:06 am

Every fuck I have ever met with a stupid name has been a complete twat. Dick Cummings, Dick Bigelow, Harry C. Beaver (srsly, no lie) was an Ob-Gyn, and an idiot to boot, etc.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:16 am

OT: I was once referred to a surgeon named Carver. I decided his name was just too unfortunate for me to ever allow him to touch me. I picked up the paper recently to find that he had been arrested for a crime — I think it included carving upon someone.

Sometimes our apparently irrational prejudices are little warning signals from our subconscious, which is noticing things our conscious mind does not.

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Ribble Rabble

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 10:58 pm

The Fox talking heads are now criticizing Obama for giving "a political speech."

Fuck them right in the fucking holes in their heads.

Pop_Socket January 24, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Don't watch Faux News.

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Where's the OW(insert city) rebuttal?

DrunkIrishman January 24, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Mitt Romney thinks Mitch Daniels lacks charisma.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

I just looked up info about John Kerry's face. His office says, "Kerry suffered two black eyes and a broken nose during a 'friendly game of hockey' with family and buddies over the Christmas break." My 20-years-older mother looked just like that when she tripped over a curb in a parking lot and fell face down on the sidewalk. I hope a 68-year-old recovers faster than she did.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Yikes, he better stick [ha ha, I said "stick"] with touch football, like the Kennedy bros.

FakaktaSouth January 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

I know a buncha chicks that have looked like that after a trip to the plastic surgeon. He looks like botox and a scalpel might've gotten him harder than anything.

smashedinhat January 24, 2012 at 11:08 pm

From the colour of those bruises I'd say he's well on his way. Keep your head up John, you got caught napping!

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Rebuttal…huhhuhuh…that's a Santorum move

Fukui_sanYesOta January 24, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Huh, Jim deMint is on CNN saying he's talked to manufacturers and they've said Dodd-Frank will damage their businesses.

The "Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act", which only affects financial services companies.

Jim DeMint can fuck off as well.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 11:10 pm

DeMint's need to fuck off is a given.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Mittens on Hannity. Brain cells…dying…fast…

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:23 am

Stop it, Fare! Pull back, man, PULL BACK!

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 11:02 pm

G'night folks. As they say in Pittsburgh, "I'm outta here, yunz."

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Cain: "I can't get off".

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Nein, nein, nein.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 11:11 pm

So no one wanted a job?

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Only Colbert who "couldn't get on".

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:23 am

Not *that* badly.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 24, 2012 at 11:18 pm

We wished we could quit him, and, as it turns out, we could.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 11:05 pm

And John Stewart is here via 6-hour tape-delay to talk about Mitten's taxes.

vulpes82 January 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Oh, Ken. Don't ever change.

AlterNewt January 24, 2012 at 11:07 pm

"Now we will go weep into a cup of bourbon"

I believe the old-timers call that 'Bourbon and sad-water'.

Sharkey January 24, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Bloody fins and shit.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:19 am

What, like "five bloody fins up" for the SOTU, or what?

Mojopo January 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm

So Mitch Daniels might be the consensus candidate if Titty Baby and the Robot can't stop clawing at each other? That pasty butt toad? Sorry, he's no Lincoln.

flamingpdog January 24, 2012 at 11:31 pm

More like an Edsel.

Mojopo January 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm

I want to see the horse trading that would go down if it comes to this. I want front fuckin row.

Mondo_Cane January 24, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Mitt's proving himself a loser – Newt can be bought off (cheap) – Santorum's mother wouldn't vote for him – RP is going his own way –

Daniels has been a loyal hack, doing what he's told – he's a 1 percenter that does 'aw shucks', an 'anti Gingrich' personal story, made his $$$ pushing drugs running Eli Lilley –

oh – and he's white….

Mojopo January 24, 2012 at 11:58 pm

How will the voters feel? And how many alliances will be broken when it comes time to vote someone off the island? When the deals come to pass in 2013, we might get to see some Eastern Bloc style beatdowns in the chambers.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 12:02 am

The thing is, Mitt's proving himself a sore loser; he could probably have shrugged off the South Carolina loss and continued on the inevitability train, but instead he's reacted horribly to the loss and keeps digging himself into holes. He really may be the Republican equivalent of Ed Muskie.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Did Ed Shultz just say the guy who wrote tonight's speech was the guy who directed "Iron Man"?

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Needs more 'splosions.

Maman January 24, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Jon Favreau – same name different guy

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 12:04 am

It's strange that the one who used to date extremely funny and sexy actress Rashida Jones is the speechwriter, and not the director.

Fred_Wertham_Jr January 25, 2012 at 12:10 am

I'm not familar with Rashida Jones, but her name is so sexy that I'd do her.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 12:40 am

Then watch Parks and Recreation! You should anyway; it's one of the best sitcoms on now.

And she is very, very sexy, too.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Just back from a burger run, and I'm still giddy about this speech. I thought "pass this bill" was good, last year, but this was chocked so full of specifics and so "refudiated" the Republicans bullshit talking points I was nearly overwhelmed.

BTW, Mitch who?

FakaktaSouth January 24, 2012 at 11:27 pm

BERNIE!!!!!! Okay, I can lie down now, having listened to this beautiful man talk and really feel that it's NOT ME that's utterly crazy (on this particular subject) and maybe, one day, I'll get to Vermont before one of us dies.
Good night and truly, thank you wonkette – without you guys specifically I could never make it through all this bullshit – y'all keep me sane, or at least out of the clock-tower…love.

Mojopo January 24, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I am catching up with everyone now. Only five more pages to go. Oh, this is wonderful!

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 12:28 am

Goodnight, darlz, sleep well! Hopey will win this! No doubt, no fear.

Panty_Buns January 24, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Argh! I hate to admit it but I voted for Barack. How wonderful that he's in favor of putting a higher tax rate on the dividends of senior citizens on fixed income even if they make less money per year than they need for food, water and shelter. Even better he apparently still wants to make the hard choices and tax half of the social security paid to seniors if they earn over $15,000 per year and are between the ages of 62 and 65, er 66, er the age will keep going up. But DON'T WORRY. President Obama made it clear he won't cut spending on any of the really important things like war, bombs, drones, the Pentagon, increased surveillance, imprisonment without trial, etc.. The Pres. will make sure everyone can borrow money at loan-shark rates so they can go to college and understand what the jobs were about that they're missing out on because they were shipped overseas due to trade agreements without the advice, consent concurrence of 2/3 of the Senators and wind up with huge loans to pay off for learning about it. He'll make sure the Corporations are still people and the will of people is still ignored. You could tell the fix was in because Joel Lieberman was smiling. The phone companies can rest assured that they won't be held responsible for helping the government and the corporations spy on you. Rest easy, defense contractors. As long as Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul can be ignored and denied speaking time on camera your flow pork-barrel goodies won't be one of those tough budget choices in question.

Z Crudmonger January 24, 2012 at 11:53 pm

I really want a pork-barrel, is it like a loft? I mean, pork, nudge nudge.

ElPinche January 25, 2012 at 12:07 am

I think The Pork-Barrel is weinerschnitzel's version of the Baconator.

Panty_Buns January 25, 2012 at 12:15 am

See Wikipedia: Pork-Barrel. Yeah, it's like fancy lofts that all the piggies represented on K-Street wind up with after they bribe, er, contribute to mealy-mouthed politicians.
Faux News contributor liked it. Charles Krauthammer: Obama's SOTU Speech 'Struck The Right Tone'.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 25, 2012 at 12:23 am

I can definitely get over your fetish, your blog spamming and your rather incoherent post. All that is fine.

However: please, PLEASE use paragraphs.

LetUsBray January 25, 2012 at 12:31 am

Paultard concern troll is Paultardedly concerned. Got it.

fuflans January 25, 2012 at 12:32 am

well panty honey i don't know if you're a boy or a girl, but if you actually put any buns in those panty ovens and want a choice about reproductive rights, i suggest you think about obama as, well, a distasteful firewall.

cause i personally don't think the roberts court needs any tilting to the right.

Panty_Buns January 25, 2012 at 9:59 am

Wouldn't it be nice if we had a Chief Justice and President capable of not flubbing the Oath of Office? I love the Bill of Rights and I'm pro-choice. No buns baking in my panty oven – no cannon fodder and wage slaves from my loins. At least Paultards and Kucinich supporters don't want to increase the prison-industrial complex the way Mitt Rummy, Newt Grinch and Rick Sanitarium do.

The Supreme kangaroo Court has been tilted off the scale to the right ever since Lewis Powell got on it back in the Nixon administration. Your correct. It doesn't need to be tilted any further to the right, but neither does it need justices who advocate a unitary executive. Obama is like Bush in advocating more Presidential power.

Nothingisamiss January 25, 2012 at 10:25 am

Amen, fuflans. I note that in his/her reply there's still no understanding of this salient fact: SCOTUS is for decades, and the repercussions of the Bush years are hardfly started. Hate on O as you will, a lot more is at stake than the next 4 years.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 12:49 am

TLDR.

Well actually no; I would've read something that long, if it didn't start off so incoherent with no paragraph breaks.

DarwinianDemon January 25, 2012 at 3:17 am

Hahaha…Dennis Kucinich or Ron Paul. That's like saying "I could watch Empire Strikes Back" or "Phantom Menace"…they're both good."

Panty_Buns January 25, 2012 at 10:01 am

When will Barack discover that Bush is his father?

DarwinianDemon January 25, 2012 at 11:24 am

A nerd would point out that although Luke was Vader's son, he was not evil himself. I will merely point out that Kucinich and Paul are complete opposites on almost every single domestic issue and even on foreign policy their reasoning is quite different.

Dashboard Buddha January 25, 2012 at 7:29 am

Remember the Paultard trolls from years past? There were giants in those days.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 25, 2012 at 1:23 pm

To be sure. Today's crowd is merely trolling on the LOL-durrs of giants.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Touche!

imissopus January 24, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Good Lord, Ken. Go eat some prunes or drink a few double espressos or something.

LiveToServeYa January 25, 2012 at 6:37 am

Nix on the prunes. He probably gets a lot of fiber from all that carpet chewing.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 12:15 am

More likely the one in his codpiece.

Buckminster January 25, 2012 at 12:23 am

If Boehner's heart doesn't explode in the next year, I'm going to lose a gigantic bet.

Panty_Buns January 25, 2012 at 10:04 am

Boner's heart should hold up as long as he remembers to have his eyebrows tweezed BEFORE they put on his orange makeup.

Sparky MacGyver January 25, 2012 at 12:26 am

Okay, I paused the Tivo, so I'm behind…

But did anyone find it odd that Mitch Daniels ended by talking about "Free-Born" Americans? As opposed to those slaves? Who the f— talks about "Free-Born" people in 2012?

LetUsBray January 25, 2012 at 12:30 am

In Roman times free-born meant children you *didn't* get by boinking your slaves. I believe we've been given a bit more of a glimpse of the Rethug vision for America than intended.

Sparky MacGyver January 25, 2012 at 12:50 am

You know, I'm going to spend the whole next day trying to unthink that thought, and the mental images that followed.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:26 am

Might need a drink. Or a few of 'em.

Z Crudmonger January 25, 2012 at 12:38 am

He’s dyslexically channeling Russell Watson, no duh. Ahme.

Diabeetis January 25, 2012 at 12:51 am

Mitch Daniels looks like a salamander.

tealsheart January 25, 2012 at 1:56 am

Salaam'alaikun to you too.
I'm lately late

Beanball January 25, 2012 at 1:33 am

I fell asleep at about 2 minutes in.

I take it I didn't miss anything.

FlipOffResearch January 25, 2012 at 1:33 am

Hey, I just got back from work and then the bar (thankfully no teabaggers), and watched a rerun of the last half of the SOTUA.

This is my take away: Boehners mugging just cracked me up. He kept making uncomfortable and foul faces. It was the greatest study in play acting since the Janet Jackson nip slip.

My new goal is to be speaker of the house, just so I can sit behind the President at the SOTUA and make faces.

C_R_Eature January 25, 2012 at 6:57 am

Boehner did everything but hold up cardboard signs saying Sphincter Boy and He Blows Goats. I Have Proof..

Warpde January 25, 2012 at 2:30 am

Ah! Fuck….missed another one.

Negropolis January 25, 2012 at 2:38 am

I wasn't the only one who skipped over Ken's commentary when I first came here am I? 'Cause, I just got around to reading it, and it is truly worse than a Fox News roundtable, because, God Bless 'em, some of them are too stupid enough to know any better. I mean, talk about trying way too hard. If you have to try that hard, you're doing it wrong…good lord.

LiveToServeYa January 25, 2012 at 6:43 am

I skimmed it enough to see it wasn't even funny.

Bluestatelibel January 25, 2012 at 7:23 am

I read it closely, and see it's probably closest to the truth you'll find anywhere. We've been around this block before. Case in point: how many Wall Street criminals are now in jail or at least got a slap on the wrist for bringing down the economy?

smokefilledroommate January 25, 2012 at 3:32 am

Is it wrong to want to kill that asshole e-trade baby?

FraAnima January 25, 2012 at 8:38 am

At least make some baby oil and fajituses when you do.

Nothingisamiss January 25, 2012 at 10:28 am

Ok, fajituses?!?! That is a double triple win, my cunning linguist friend.

FraAnima January 25, 2012 at 10:39 am

I wish I could take credit, but another Wonketeer has the copyright for fajituses.

finallyhappy January 25, 2012 at 10:35 am

I used to like that commercial – the first two. Isn't that kid like 12 now?

Biff January 25, 2012 at 11:09 am

It's like Lassie. Or Babe the pig. They keep growing, so you keep getting a younger one. All babbie look the same, how are they form?

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:21 pm

When girl gets pragnut, of course.

ETA: For your enjoyment: http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby

C_R_Eature January 25, 2012 at 5:51 am

Well, while Republicans were Harrumphing and Turning Reddish-Orange & Making Faces at the SOTU. The SEALS were beating the shit out of Somali Pirates and freeing hostages.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that SEAL Ops have to all be given a presidential "Go". That takes Nutz, if so.

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 25, 2012 at 9:27 am

No, no, that's the wrong way to think about it–it's simply another example of the US killing disenfranchised brown foreigners to "rescue" privileged white Westerners. There is no heroism, only shame and moral failing.

C_R_Eature January 25, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Ken?!

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 10:59 am

And the hostages were all like, "I'll hold my nose and vote for him, but…"

C_R_Eature January 25, 2012 at 8:00 pm

…even though he's Blah.

C_R_Eature January 25, 2012 at 7:04 am

Well Congressman Andy Harris (R, Ive-got-mine-Jack-keep-your-hands-off-My stack) says that he "Didn't hear anything new" and "He mentioned Solyndra". Which is Bad and a thing that we Republicans have been trying really hard to blow up into an Administration crippling Scandal.
Meanwhile, Maryland's Eastern Shore continues to sink beneath the waves as Anthrogenic Global Climate Change (which doesn't exist and we can't do anything about it anyway because Socialism) continues and accelerates.
Yeah, I'm Grumpy. Does it show?

FakaktaSouth January 25, 2012 at 11:08 am

Hola. As I am sitting here sweating balls at 10am and almost 70 plus degrees right after ANOTHER devastating tornado IN JANUARY FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I too ponder the hateful socialism causing all of these weather woes. That and all the job crippling regulations. If only things weren't so harshly regulated, I bet the oil/dispersant/dead animal carcasses washing up on my shores would stop too.

C_R_Eature January 25, 2012 at 8:13 pm

People forget that CO2 Cap and Trade was a plank in the election platform of those Radical Socialist Fascist's John McCain/ $arah Palin.
That was before the EXXON and the Koch Bro's propaganda assault. After that everything went down the Memory Hole and belief in AGW among the American general public plummeted from something like 65% general to less than 50% aggregate. Lots less amongst FOX viewers. Of course.
Meanwhile, Ice sheets the size of Rhode Island break off of Antarctica, all of a sudden there's an Ice free Northwest passage for the first time in recorded human history and weird weather and 100 year storms every year are the norm.
But we can't talk about all that, because it's "Controversial".

Wow, that was a Rant and not even Funny.

Bluestatelibel January 25, 2012 at 7:18 am

Just woke up! What'd I miss?

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 9:29 am

I don't usually wolf-whistle at the FLOTUS, dignity of the office and all that, but MAN, she was wearin' the hell out of that blue dress!

Mojopo January 25, 2012 at 10:07 am

She wears beautiful clothes so well. I kept trying to picture Callista trying to look classy in that blue dress and I couldn't do it.

Did you know that Callista is only 45? Doesn't she look much older?

proudgrampa January 25, 2012 at 10:16 am

Really? Jeez. She looks like she's about 70, with (bad, very bad) facelifts.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 10:20 am

She's one of those people who has had so much plastic surgery she doesn't even look human anymore. Why the fuck do some people do that to themselves? Do they actually think it makes them more attractive? It doesn't; it makes them look creepy.

weej_bain January 25, 2012 at 10:22 am

A facial equivalent of a bad rug. But are there any good rugs?

finallyhappy January 25, 2012 at 10:37 am

Ask Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffith

Geminisunmars January 25, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I really appreciated seeing Jessica Lange at the Golden Globes last week. She hasn't had any work done (I don't believe) and she looked, gasp, real. I applaud her, and think I shall try and find a way to voice that in some way.

finallyhappy January 25, 2012 at 10:37 am

really, they have money-couldn't she go to a good doctor? I was at a certain theater in Dc last week- and there were 4 women- that had over done plastic surgery- but they were all actually late 70's.

Mojopo January 25, 2012 at 10:41 am

I know, right? Apparently she must have one of those sub-par East Coast surgeons. Have you seen Catherine Deneuve? That's some good surgery. If I ever wanted it, I would make it my life's mission to find her doc.

Limeylizzie January 25, 2012 at 11:47 am

She looked amazing, she has the best ass of any First Lady ever, I remember first noticing it when she was campaigning with Hopey and she wore a purple dress that clung ferociously, it was stunning.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:09 pm

She would look good in a paper bag. Something about being tall and slender.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 9:50 am

How many times did he make the "We won't go back!" anti-racist dog whistle?

prommie January 25, 2012 at 10:02 am

Oh, damn, I missed that, it must be above the frequency range of my honkey cracker hearing! I didn't know there was such a thing as anti-racist dogwhistling, and I am glad there is.

jus_wonderin January 25, 2012 at 11:01 am

"Sony Dogwhistle Cancelling Headphones"

Nothingisamiss January 25, 2012 at 10:21 am

The dogwhistle of hope.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Looks like nobody but us cullud folks even realised the significance of "We won't go back."

Steverino247 January 25, 2012 at 10:00 am

It takes huge balls to launch a SEAL mission just before the SOTU address. You can't have something like that go wrong before that speech or you're screwed. Only Reagan could pressure NASA to launch in adverse conditions and blow up a school teacher and get away with it.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Ain't nobody in furrn parts that don't think Hopey has great giant brass balls like a motherfucker. He needs to waste some Republicans, then they'll get the message.

prommie January 25, 2012 at 10:06 am

I am disappointed that Obama avoided one enormous issue of vital importance: Achewood. What the fuck? It was back, and jubliation reigned, but now, no new strips for a month, just like right before it went on hiatus last year. Has it become autobiographical? Did Onstadt go to rehab? Has he relapsed? What is Obama doing about this?

Biff January 25, 2012 at 11:25 am

Is there any such thing as an Achewood Shower, yet?

Dashboard Buddha January 25, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Only one new strip since the beginning of the month. Ray's in rehab. I'm not sure where this is going.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 25, 2012 at 10:42 am

I'll believe Obama and Holder will do something about the banksters when it actually happens, and not before.

They've done nothing but try to protect them (and line their pockets) for 3 years.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25, 2012

Not Optimistic

It's hard to see the Schneiderman thing as anything but bad news.

I also don't know how the economy can rebound with a completely corrupt and corrupted banking system in place, but obviously Very Serious People think that's not important.

by Atrios at 10:02
~

notreelyhelping January 25, 2012 at 10:56 am

Note: 98%. Not 99%. Now that's triangulation.

Ruhe January 25, 2012 at 11:13 am

"So the nation is great because after terrorists lash out at us, we will spend 10 years fucking up totally unrelated countries, and then eventually slaughter some half-mythical terror king in a suburb, in Pakistan, because we are so great."

We are big but we act small.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 11:23 am

So um, it's almost 11:30; do our editors all hate SOTU-related hangovers this morning?

MissTaken January 25, 2012 at 11:45 am

Seriously. My head feels like it's filled with cotton balls (from a cold, not hungover) and I just learned that one of my good work friends got the ax yesterday during our pink slip party. Could really use some funnies right about now.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Aw, sorry to hear that. Layoffs suck.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 12:22 pm

And yay, a new post finally, entertainment!

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Oh, babe. That seriously sucks. Hope you stay in touch with him/her. Don't let it get you down, though. Put some big honking slices of ginger in a saucepan with about two cups of water and make yourself a strong hot cup of tea. Add a little honey to soothe the throat and sip on it as needed. I hope you're at home in bed, all rolled up in warm blankies.

MissTaken January 25, 2012 at 4:50 pm

If by home you mean sitting in my office reconciling spreadhsheets of data for stupid managers who won't do it themselves, then yes I'm at home!

Thanks though! I've been chugging jamba juice coldbuster and tea all day and planning to bail out by 3 today. As for the now non-coworker, she's very smart and great at what she does so I'm sure she'll be okay. Plus, she's in Toronto and I don't think Canada lets its unemployed end up in cardboard boxes like the US does.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Oh, you poor thing! And you're in SF in winter!

Thanks for letting me know about the co-worker. I won't worry about her then.

I hope you have your extra-warm things for the rush to BART at 3. Best to leave at 3 on the dot, you know how crazy it gets when the commuters hit. Stay warm and safe, sweetie! Hope you feel better soon.

Blueb4sunrise January 25, 2012 at 11:53 am

It's Chet's fault. Now 1000 comments are mandatory.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Mea culpa!

Geminisunmars January 25, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Well, let's get the filler/comments rolling. You start.

Blueb4sunrise January 25, 2012 at 12:21 pm

We're saved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

prommie January 25, 2012 at 11:30 am

Yo, man, we pay good money for this Wonkette thing, and look at this, nobody home today, whats up with that?

CivicHoliday January 25, 2012 at 11:40 am

The entire Wonkette editorial staff is sleeping it off after that final cup of Makers + tears

weej_bain January 25, 2012 at 12:19 pm

They were not only live blogging they were also doing the Seals Team 6 rescue thingie. They have to get the Somali sand out of their HP85s.

proudgrampa January 25, 2012 at 11:39 am

Yeah, I'm with Prommie: you guys don't start wonketting soon, I'm gonna ask for a refund!

Blueb4sunrise January 25, 2012 at 11:54 am

Possible racism at Wisconsin Recall Count. One black woman in an otherwise empty room.
http://mirrors.5nines.com/stream/

Biff January 25, 2012 at 11:58 am

People get fired for working through their lunch break…

Blueb4sunrise January 25, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Uh oh, there's some white cop there now.

Steverino247 January 25, 2012 at 12:17 pm

At least they've decorated the walls a bit.

Blueb4sunrise January 25, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Look at the bottom of the page and you'll see that there's a new thread.

ttommyunger January 25, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Know why Chief Justice Roberts has that silly grin on his face? If you listen quietly you can hear it: vibrating butt-plug.

Panty_Buns January 26, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Actually Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich have a lot in common. They both believe in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights (that covers a lot of issues) and they both want peace. Ron Paul: I'd consider putting Dennis Kucinich in my cabinet – Political Hotsheet – CBS News.

As for Bush being President Obama's father: I'm not saying he Barack is evil, but he has been an accessory after the fact to Bush's policies on rendition, torture, surveillance of U.S. citizens, undeclared wars, and much more. I'm not saying Barack is as evil as Bush, but unfortunately he hasn't escaped the grasp of the (corporate) Emperor.

Help us Obi Wan Kenobi! You're our only hope.

Panty_Buns January 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm

A PETA sponsored "State Of The Undies" would have been much more interesting than all that slick snookering.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Hey, don't make fun of my Great Lakes brethren. Hell, at least we don't sound like rural New Engladers, or **shivers** Southerners.

Mojopo January 25, 2012 at 12:04 am

Oh man. You're so right.

SorosBot January 25, 2012 at 12:07 am

Sorry to disappoint; if it helps, back when I thought you were a woman (because of your old avatar) I found your comments attractive.

Extemporanus January 25, 2012 at 1:19 am

Quincy Jones truly is a top notch producer.

DerrickWildcat January 25, 2012 at 1:24 am

This is fact.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:31 am

Oh, pdog. I wish you and Barb lived close by, and then I could bring you the terrific stew I made — chicken and chorizo with chickpeas, tomatoes, sweet peppers, and hot peppers. I put about 20 jalapenos in it. It makes you cry a bit at first, but man, it is SO fucking good.

Of course, you need lots of ice cream for after, but still. It's totally tasty and very nutritious.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 9:47 am

My china cabinet just fell over, Dr. Jung!

Biff January 25, 2012 at 10:29 am

Come on, ice cream…

HuddledMass January 25, 2012 at 10:35 am

You are … way tougher than I am.

jus_wonderin January 25, 2012 at 11:02 am

I think Dolly has done it well, though.

Limeylizzie January 25, 2012 at 11:46 am

When I was younger I used to have people tell me all the time that I looked like Melanie Griffith, this was around the time of Working Girl pre-plastic, thank God I do not get that anymore.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Best way to keep people from blathering on forever at meetings is to assign a specific amount of time to each item on the agenda, print copies of the damn agenda and give one to each participant, and then appoint a timekeeper whose ONLY job is to say "You have X minutes left" right before the participants run out of time.

It's wonderful how much MORE you can get done. Of course, on the flip side, you're *gonna* be unpopular as fuck-all, but you can't have everything.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Ar-ar-ar. WHO needs a belly rubbed? WHOOOOO???

You watch it bud. I have catnip spray and I'm NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Wut you got against us short peepul?

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Total WIN.

ETA: For drag-queen of punditry.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Catherine Deneuve had *work* done? ZOMG, you have broken mai hartz.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:52 pm

You're getting some, too.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:57 pm

We were young and, obviously, very foolish. Later, I walked home in a state of shock to find my neighbour, a very nice young Englishman, loudly singing opera to a snail on the grassy divider of the main road. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was conducting an experiment to determine if snails could hear.

I still have no idea if it was just part of the trip, or what. Sure was interesting, though.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Sometimes, Sigmund, a cigar is just a good smoke.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 4:13 pm

That Sabina Spielrein is crazy in bed! Let's steal all her good ideas.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Chet Kincaid's A MOST DANGEROUS METHOD

Based upon the 1994 nonfiction book dishing the juicy details of the Freud/Jung beef over Jung's sexy patient/lover and their later colleague, Sabina Spielrein
http://www.amazon.com/Most-Dangerous-Method-Sabin

INT — PARK HOTEL, MUNICH, NOVEMBER 1912 — COUNCIL OF PRESIDENTS OF LOCAL PSYCHOANALYTIC SOCIETIES — LUNCH

FREUD (Cranky):
Riklin, you schmuck! You didn't even cite my work in your last article! Is that so much to ask?

RIKLIN (Flustered):
Why, your contributions are so well known, it seemed redundant to always —

FREUD:
Oh, so I'm redundant, then!

JONES:
Ahem! Er, why don't you share with us some of your most recent discoveries, Dr. Freud?

FREUD:
Well, *if* you're interested…I've just finished reading Abraham's essay on Amenhotep, the ancient Egyptian ruler and founder of monotheism. As part of his reforms, he erased his father's name from public monuments. It's obvious to *me* that he harbored parricidal wishes, and that this in fact proves the ancient origins of my Oedipal theory —

JUNG (Earnestly):
I disagree, Herr Doktor! It's a bit more complicated than that. Amenhotep's father had been considered a god, and eliminating the old god's name was part and parcel of consolidating the new religion.

FREUD (Irritated):
Well, it all rather reminds *me* of you Swiss, and your tendency to forget to cite my name in your psychoanalytic publications!!

(A hubub arises.)

JUNG (Solicitously):
My dear Freud, you underestimate the esteem with which we hold your seminal accomplishments! Because we have taken them to heart, there's no need to constantly —

FREUD:
Well excuse me and my ideas for being so tedious!

JONES:
Don't you think you're taking this a bit personally, Dr. Freud…?

JUNG:
Besides, the Amenhotep story is indeed true to nature. The father already has a name, and the son must go out and make one for himself.

FREUD (Sarcastically):
Am I dissociating? I thought I was in Munich, not Memphis!

JUNG:
I've done a bit of research on Amenhotep myself. I've found that —

(Freud looks shocked, and suddenly falls off his chair in a dead faint.)

JUNG (Alarmed):
Herr Doktor!! Herr Doktor!!

(Jung rushes to Freud, picks him up and carries him toward the door. Freud comes to while being carried.)

FREUD:
How sweet it must be to die!

CUT

(As you can see, my version would have tended more toward Seinfeld/Monty Python than whatever David Cronenberg came up with.)

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 5:21 pm

A nice Jewish boy like you, Sigmund? Vat you vere doing viz MY mistress?

Biff January 25, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I was one, but quit before the underpants ritual. Once I learned that I would have to wear underpants of any description, I kinda knew it wasn't gonna be my thing. Sadly, no planet for me.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Freud had a "thing" for his sister-in-law. Maybe it was just "research on the transferance."
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/650217640/Hote

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I remember reading about that, ages ago. Back when Dr. Masson was still teaching here, before the huge fallout with the Freud Institute. Are you a psychologist by training? Why the sudden interest in Freud?

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Going commando, eh?Don't be sad. You'll have us Wonketteerz. That's WAY better than having a planet.Besides, in order to get that damn planet, you'd have to live like some freak-fucking-monk for decades.Come over to teh dark side. We haz teh best cookies.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 6:23 pm

No, I'm not, I just have a layperson's interest in Jung and Freud. Way back in the late-80s/early 90s I thought I was onto The Meaning Of Life by exploring and connecting Jung, Joseph Campbell, Gregory Bateson, Allan Watts, Chaos Theory, and that Dancing Wu Li Masters stuff; and Freud was interesting in reductionist, anti-mystical contrast to all of that, while not actually being very scientific, either. It seemed as if the Great Debate boiled down to Jung wanting to establish a scientific understanding of spirituality and growth, while with Freud it was all just elaborations of shitting and fucking.

I also read the book, "A Most Dangerous Method" (the basis for the plays and movie) when it came out in the early '90s, and it's really fascinating, gossipy and novel-esque. I knew then it was going to be a mini-series or movie some day, and even wrote my own parody scene for laughs. Oh, but I'd never post that old thing, unless somebody wanted to see it…

Biff January 25, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Very difficult being an atheist in the mormon church, I tellzs ya!

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Do it! C'mon, DO EET!

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 6:48 pm

HA! We all know you *really* came for the cookies.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Later. And I'll post it a little further back up the thread, so I have more width. ;)

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 6:59 pm

You're sweet, even when you're not trying to be. Or trying not to be.Thanks, buddy.

flamingpdog January 25, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Dude, I'm a short person, too. Just like my womyns tall. You hug the tall ones and your face gets to rest in a soft place.

Radiotherapy January 25, 2012 at 7:24 pm

C'mon Chet, post it, or link to it. We'll be more than interested. Freud is important to me, in a very pragmatic, daily way because of his initiation of the discussion of anxiety as an important component of our psyche's. 70% of what I do while at work is anxiety management.

Chet Kincaid January 25, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Coming right up!

C_R_Eature January 25, 2012 at 8:16 pm

That's the first thing the sonovabitch threw a fit about when he got to D.C. Just embarrassing.

Really went downhill after Wayne Gilchrest. I still have a lot of respect for him.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Fascinating, Chet. Do you write fiction, or is this your only, so to speak, essay into the field?

Radiotherapy January 25, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Excellent, I get id.

MittBorg January 25, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Oh. Right. Yes.I like girls TOO, yaknow.

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 12:38 am

This is basically exactly what happened at this particular lunch, as described in the book! It was so absurd that I thought it was a great scene. All I added was a couple of colloquialisms.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 12:47 am

Really?I've never seen the film. I suppose I shall have to, now, just to see that scene.Reading something by Walter Moseley tonight, he was the first author to bring Chester Himes to my notice.What do you think of Moseley and Himes as writers?

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 9:35 am

I haven't seen the movie yet either, so I don't know if this incident is in it.

Hey, I am a big Walter Mosely fan! I've read all the Easy Rawlins mysteries.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I've read most of his detective stories except Bad Boy Brawley Brown. Right now I'm reading a collection of his called Futureland, and I think what I am most grateful to him for is his portrayal of black male heroes. He has said that that is his mission as a writer, to make heroes for us to replace those who have been taken away, hidden and buried in the mythology we are taught in school. A mythology in which all black men are slaves and all black women either mammies who give love and care to everyone but themselves, or exotic harlots. Mosley turned me on to Chester Himes, for which I will always be grateful. Himes spotlighted a particularly ugly episode of American history. As does Mosley. Great writer. I'm waiting for the next Great Black Novel from a new young writer, though. Zadie Smith is certainly good, but she's not the one, and Alice Walker has already proved her merit. So tell me, which young Black writers can you recommend who write about the plight of Black people exactly as it is out there?Not the African writers, who are all just great and fantastic, but are writing about being African in Africa, which doesn't begin to describe the hell of racism for Blacks in the White man's land.Whom do you recommend?

Chet Kincaid January 26, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Can't even begin to make a reco, as I haven't been keeping up with literature. I'm more qualified to recommend some African music, which I promised, and will get around to one of these days.

C_R_Eature January 26, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Well, of course, We Could Do That but…

I prefer Water Pistols.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Well, if you haven't read Futureland, let me highly recommend it now. The collection contains his story, The Nig in Me. All I can say is I'm so fucking furious right now that I just blew up at a fellow Wonketeer, which I know is a no-no. Ugh. Why do white people feel SO obliged to tell me about all the shortcomings of black folk? Do they think I'm stupid, that I can't see how flawed we are? Or do our flaws excuse their attitudes?Enough! I'm going to get my ass kicked in a bit for what I just said.Thanks very much for remembering the music. I'll just go calm down and read some, I don't know, white folks' literature for a bit.

MittBorg January 26, 2012 at 7:44 pm

You just want an excuse to bring Miss Sweetie Poo into meetings.

C_R_Eature January 26, 2012 at 11:20 pm

What? I need an excuse?

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