oh, laws

President “The President” “Born in the U.S.A.” “Here to Stay” Obama is required to appear at an administrative court hearing in Atlanta on Thursday over the matter of the location of his birth and whether it disqualifies him from the prize he won in 2008. Orly Taitz, Esquireordinaire is of course thrilled, being the chief instigator of this particular type of time-wasting, though she’s not the lawyer in this particular suit, which was filed by a Georgia resident and is intended to keep Obama’s name off Georgia’s primary ballot. Taitz doesn’t care if Obama tries to skip the hearing because, as It told the Miami Herald, “then he looks guilty. The whole nation understands this man is a fraud.”

This suit apparently hasn’t been viewed as “frivolous,” perhaps because Orly is not involved, and it appears to be kind of a Serious Matter, actually, so far, so though the President might be tempted to laugh/roll his eyes/shake his head/marvel at Orly’s insane double black eyes, since she will surely show up, once in there, even he, King of America, will have to try to act serious. Obama’s lawyers have already tried to get the President out of the hearing once, but last Friday Deputy Chief Judge Michael Malihi denied the request. So looks like the President might have to cancel those “90 rounds of golf.” [Miami Herald]

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  • nounverb911

    Seriously, when is Oily Taintz's deportation hearing?

    • I still demand she say "Keel Moose and Skwirl" after every statement.

    • Man0nTheStreet

      Jan 21, 2013 – Administrative Judge M. Obama, presiding. Bring yr popcorn…

    • chascates

      She may be a Palestinian plant to make Americans hate Israel. Or lawyer/dentist/realtor combinations.

      • I swear to god, that woman has done more harm to the cause of Jews everywhere. She should be executed just for putting all of Judaica in danger. Stupid BITCH.

        Yes, we ARE in a fucking mood. Cutting out the pain meds, and fuck me if we're not seriously in pain. Somebody be nice to me so I can get all Pollyana and starry-eyed about what WUNNERFUL people y'allz are again.

        • Aww, Z. Everybody here loves you!

          • (Hugs my favourite little nut) You are SO sweet. Now I'll HAVE to be on my best fucking behaviour.

          • No need. Teh wonkette is a place were misbehaving makes you popular, and gives you a bigger p-ness.

          • I wish you hadn't said that. Now everybody knows how bad I've been.

        • Geminisunmars

          There, there, Mittella. Let me stroke your fevered brow.

          I said BROW!!

          • Mittella, she calls me, but a favour for a dying friend she won't do. Nu? What's the harm to take it a little lower?

          • Geminisunmars

            So, this is how you treat your web-lover. After I slaved all day to make a nice brisket to send you. Feh!

          • Bubbulah, it's foreplay. Two hours of begging?

            Did you really slave all day making a nice brisket? Lucky Mr. Geminisunmars!

          • Geminisunmars

            I thought you didn't believe in foreplay.A brisket that melts in the mouth. With little red potatoes on the side. (this is my form of foreplay). Green beans. And a nice kugel for dessert.

          • Oh, low blow, that hurt.

            Wonderful. Food as foreplay. Was it Barry London or Tom Jones that had that seduction scene with the eating of a pear? Food is … wonderful.

            And for a kugel, I would walk a mile or more. I hope Mr. Geminisunmars appreciates his good luck every day with a hug and a kiss.

          • Are you guys planning another LGBBQ? I would almost sign up for a nice, mouth-watering brisket. Just the rib tip!

          • Geminisunmars

            Mr. G is noticeably appreciative, shall we say. I believe it was Tom Jones where he had a food/seduction scene with what turned out to be his mother – but it was more with greasy roast turkey legs or something along that line. What was the name of that movie, late 60 or early 70s, with Peter Boyle going to bed with a hippie chick, and she says “How about a little foreplay” and he says “No thanks, I don't need any.” A very young Susan Sarandon might have been in that.I'm sending knee and heart love to you.

          • tessiee

            The movie was "Joe". Peter Boyle (who was apparently rather left-leaning in real life) plays a blue-collar worker who befriends a rich silver-haired douche. Susan Sarandon plays the daughter of said douche, who ran away to a hippie commune. It's a good movie, except that:
            a) the blue collar-schmoes *still*, 40 years later, haven't figured out that the rich silver-haired douches are their class enemy,
            b) 40 years later, I'm making one-third of what the rich silver-haired douche was making in 1970, and that's when I can even get work.

          • Geminisunmars

            Thank you, tess. So this was the precursor to Joe, the Plumber.

          • Grazie. What do you mean, "when I can even get work"? Are you in some very specialized line of work?

            Well, that just sucks. I hope that changes for you, and work becomes a regular source of income instead of something you "can get" sometimes.

          • So, a good time was had by all last night. Not just the crazy people who trashed this place with their drunk party.

            Hahaha. Ew. I can't imagine anything more off-turning than haaving a seduction scene with Mom.

            Thank you, darls. I'm off the opiates now, and withdrawal truly sucks. Hot tea, lots of covers, three layers of clothing, and I'm still shivering, when I'm not sweating, of course. Remind me never to take opiates again, ok, darling?

          • Geminisunmars

            Well, you go with the Mom you have, not the Mom you want. Wait – what?Sorry you are going through all that. Well, all that misery will take your mind off your knee, right? I'm astrally projecting you some homemade chicken soup (which I'm sure sounds pretty awful right about now).Hugs, Bubbelah darlink.

          • Oh, ew! DO NOT WANT!

            Aw, that's so sweet. I hope you know that I love you too, and will come hold your hand when you're feeling awful. I actually did have some chicken soup. Just the broth. It was good. I'm going to lie down for a bit now. Thank you, dollink.

          • It's impossible to sleep with an abused cat screaming loudly. Yes, I have an abused cat. He's a rescue from a horrible history, and flew several thousand miles to live with me. And this is how the little bastid repays me, when I'm sick, he has to yodel next to the bed just to see if he can hit the high notes. Oy!

          • Geminisunmars

            No good deed goes unpunished. Especially when a cat is involved. Hope you both feel better soon. Tell the little mumser to stfu so you can get some recuperative rest.

          • True. Cat's still snoring at my feet, but I slept and now I'm awake and all refreshed, and permit me to hug you dear lady for all the kind and soothing thoughts.

            God I feel like a whole new person.

          • Geminisunmars

            That's the best news. Yay! Nothing like restorative rest. With a cat (better if a dog) snoring at your feet.

        • littlebigdaddy

          You know who *else* was bad for the Jews?

          • Don't make me say it, buddy.

          • bagofmice


        • sunmusing

          My kneez and back hurt like crazy. I've had to cut back the meds as well. What hurt the most was trying to listen the ass wipes in the debate last nite.AND Orly Taintz is a know nothing cunt.There now do you feel just a little better?

          • Just a little, I think.

            Hopey hit it WAY out of the park tonight. And Mitch Daniels is a poncy squeakfreak. There. NOW I feel better.

        • tessiee


          • (wipes away tears) You know what? I really needed that.

            Thank you very much. (hugs you back)

          • tessiee

            CAH-mere, You!
            *gets MittBorg in headlock*
            *noogies MittBorg*
            OW! I keep forgetting about the shiny metal head, with the gears and the electrodes, and the scraped knuckles!

          • Dood. Uh, I mean, doodina, of course.

            I was in withdrawal from the opiates yesterday. An emotional crazy mess. It's better today, but man I am so not taking these ever again. Screw surgery, I'm done.

            Mind those knuckles, miss, you're meddling with my wires~! (Women! All the same. Soon as you let them into your life, they're trying to give ya a makeover.)

    • GeorgiaBurning

      As soon as we identify her home planet.

      • Uranus.

        Wut's the problem?

        • littlebigdaddy

          i would say Urcunt.

      • MissNancyPriss

        It's Earth. (sigh)

  • Seriously, what the fuck??? Hasn't he done enough pandering to these Birfer/Tebagger assholes already by releasing his Birth Certificate?

    • What happens when these nut jobs get to look at the documents and hear the president's testimony and then STILL decides he isn't a citizen. Can't they deny the citizenship of everyone using this method?

      • Man0nTheStreet

        I think Team Obama should literally blanket the tv and papers and billboards and telephone poles etc. with copies of his real BC, and do it a few days ahead so that by the morning of the trial everyone in the town/county/state has seen it and begrudgingly accepted it as real and accurate. Then let them try to have their trial without choking to death on their shame while drowning in a sea of derision. Good Times!

      • Why not? Hell, there's *plenty* browns around out there. Let's deny ALL their citizenship. Let's TAKE ARE CUNTRY BACK!

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      You know, I can't even snark about this. Enough is fucking enough! These birther assholes need to get over it – yes, a black man is the president. Move on with your poor, pathetic lives.

      • HogeyeGrex
        • Goddamn, I think I just fell in love again.

        • tessiee


      • tessiee

        These are the same clumps of shit clinging to an unwashed asshair that wanted to *change the Constitution* so that Ah-nuld could be preznit.

    • If you read the comments on the Miami Herald article (ick), it's clear that even releasing the Long-Form Birf Sertifikat wasn't enough for lots of people.

      • Christ! (Holds head, mutters weakly) I just came back from there after reading the comments.

        Anybody got any opiates?

        They're in quite the high dudgeon over there, claiming things of which they have absolutely no knowledge while steadfastly denying the plain facts. Also, gloating. Lots of gloating. What horrible little moral midgets we live with!

    • It is NEVAH enough for the blahs.

  • MrFizzy

    This is really a sorry-ass country sometimes.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Truer words were never spoken.

    • MzNicky

      This is really a sorry-ass country sometimes many, many times. Fuxed.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      This is really a sorry-ass country sometimes.

      With a matching sorry-ass legal system, apparently. Ooh, ooh; maybe they'll legally determine what the definition of "is" is.

    • No shit. And this would be one of those times.

  • FraAnima

    Let's see the Kenyan socialist-in-chief wiggle out of this one! Now ve haf him!

    • eaglewon

      wow, you're really a tard if you think the Prez is going to show up for this crap.

      • Dear heart, this is snark central. Adjust filters

        • FraAnima

          eaglewon must be horrified by the comments in the "fetuses as food" post.

          • Ah-hahahahaha! Well, pretty much everyone who wandered in here unprepared would be, don'tchathink? If I talked at the office like I do at the Wonketz, I'd be minus my worker bee badge-on-a-lanyard in no time flat. Or in a white jacket with extra long sleeves.

  • Boojum_Reborn

    I didn't think Judge Malihi was that nuts and Mike Jablonski is a good lawyer. This is like the convergence of weird.

    • tcaalaw

      Mike's brother Heywood is a total shyster though.

    • RavenRant

      Malihi was appointed by Zell Miller, so… Crazy is not totally unexpected.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Deputy Chief Judge Michael Malihi's job is being outsourced.

  • SorosBot

    Sigh; there morons are never going to go away as long Obama's in office, are they?

    • jus_wonderin

      If, by some quirk of fate, a Rethug gets the Presidency, I am going all out to keep this crazy just as full volume as these fuckers have all these years.

      • SorosBot

        If it's President Newt, we won't even have to make up any crazy conspiracy theories; the public information on what he's actually done is bad enough.

    • Not_So_Much

      Not unless he goes in for anal bleaching and it spills onto all the rest of his skin. I'm not a racist, but don't you know he's, uh, black blah?

  • The Teabagger came from Georgia, he was looking for a vote to steal.
    He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind and he was willin' to make a deal.
    When he came across this black man runn'n the cuntry and it made him hot.
    And the Teabagger fell out of his overloaded Rascal and said: "Nearer, let me tell you what:
    "I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a TRUE citizen unlike you.
    "And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
    "Now you show me yur birf certifik8te, boy, but give the True American his due:
    "I bet a turd of Ron Paul gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
    The boy said: "My name's Barack and it might be a sin,
    "But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."

    Barry you fire up your law and play your birf certifik8te hard.
    'Cos hells broke loose in Georgia and those fat whiteys deal the cards.
    And if you win you get this Ron Paul turd made of gold.
    But if you lose, those Teabagger fucks steals your votes.

    • Callyson

      ROTFL imagining Charlie Daniels' reaction to this re – write, considering that he is insane…

    • Manchu! This is fucking amazing! I'm'a steal it.

    • Dude, I have been waiting for a suitable opportunity to parody that song, and you have scooped me! Enjoy your winnings and your all-expense-paid trip to Georgia.

      • comrad_darkness

        Second place is a one week trip to Georgia, right?

        • tessiee

          First place is a week in Georgia; second place is two weeks in Georgia.

    • tessiee

      *hambones in accompaniment*

  • Baconzgood

    I plead not guilty by reason of the plaintiff being bat shit insane. Further more, while I was having my time waisted here North Korea bombed Germany.

    • You do know that the whole rest of the world thinks we're dumb as fuck and twice as crazy, right? They have their issues with Obama, but they think he's one of the best Presidents we've had in recent memory. Better than Bush (HA!), Clinton, BushTheElder, Reagan, AND Carter, by a LONG shot.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Them uppity coloreds need ta know their place.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Oh, man. They're not going to make him sit up in the balcony gallery during his hearing, are they?

      • You scared the living shit out of me for a minute. I thought you were comparing Obama to Lincoln. Wasn't Lincoln assassinated in the balcony? Pls dear jeebus don't let anything happen to the Prez in GA.

    • eaglewon

      Looks like their place is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

  • Joshua Norton

    Somebody needs a little visit from the Secret Service. Not to mention a full FBI background check of everyone attending.

    That's pretty standard stuff if you're going to be around the president, so they really can't squawk about it.

    • HogeyeGrex

      I think this one is going to require the full anal probe.

    • massugu

      Exactly, and who is gonna pay for it? Us. When oh when are we gonna start dealing with the issues and leave all this B.S. behind.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Yeah, that's not going to happen.

    • yrbmegr

      Who's going to make him appear? The federal enforcement apparatus work for him.

  • If I were Barry, I would send Mike Nutter down there to set those motherfuckers straight.

    • Barrelhse

      He might Fluff it.

  • Eve8Apples

    If Newt was required to appear for such a hearing, he would eliminate funding for the court, bomb the courthouse, fire Deputy Chief Judge Michael Malihi and fuck Deputy Chief Judge Michael Malihi's wife.

    • eaglewon


    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Actually, that does suggest an interesting approach: someone needs to challenge Mittens, Santorum, Paul, and the Newtster on the same grounds. All three candidates have to satisfy the same fucking test, or GTFO.

      • Hmmm … I have ze glimmerings of an idea.

  • YouBetcha

    It's all fun and games until Orly Taitz flashes her tits to the Prez. Because you know she will.

    • AnAmericanInTO

      Has that been her long game all along? Seems a bit much to me.

    • C_R_Eature

      Note from the Desk of U.S. Attorney General Holder:

      Dear Ms. Taitz:


      • Steverino247

        How about just GTFO?

        • C_R_Eature

          I'll Drink to That!


    • I was in love with you until you said that. It's over now. Nothing can ever compensate for the vision of Orly's saggy, pasty, freckled tits with one long black hair curling around a nipple.

  • Fare la Volpe

    With citizens like these, do you really wanna run again, Barry?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      The Onion did a piece a week or so ago, kinda along that same line.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Which was probably a rewrite from something they ran in 2008.

    • Barrelhse

      he's buying land in Paraguay.

  • GuanoFaucet

    The whole state of Georgia really needs to go sit in the corner and shut the fuck up until it gets its shit together. If it keeps this shit up we may need to send zombie General Sherman down there to finish the fucking job this time.

    • hagajim

      Don't we have to thank them for Newt?

      • GeorgiaBurning

        I'm pretty sure Newt's ancestry traces back to a southern belle going professional and a lonely soldier from the 53rd Illinois Infantry.

        • comrad_darkness

          I heard it was the *entire* 53rd Illinois Infantry.

      • 102415

        Newt's is from PA, like Santorum. PA should apologize to America.

    • jus_wonderin

      I think that is the problem. All their shit is together…in their heads.

    • LowProfileinGA

      Lawdy, Guano, not all of us!

    • ProgressiveInga

      But but but but…………Atlanta?!?

  • CrunchyKnee

    Joja? It not because they don't think he's a citizen, I mean c'mon Georgia just say it…"it's because he's a ________."

    • jus_wonderin

      A blah…I mean, blank?

    • Dr_Zoidberg


    • C_R_Eature


    • Democrat?

  • Baconzgood

    "The America people witnessed a travesty of justice. I mean C'mon 'Malihi'? That sounds like a foreigner name to me"

    -Orly Taitz Next Time (S)he is the Radio-

  • prommie

    Can't he just send a drone? With some of those missiles? They should be pretty persuasive to the judge. This is a case of birther judge getting his jollies ordering the POTUS around, fuck him, kfuck him up the ass till he spits shit.

    • MzNicky

      I miss Rahm Emmanuel.

      • Rahm never did shit to scare anybody, under Obama.

  • hagajim

    Country is going to shit faster than a speeding bullet and Barry has to waste his time with this bullshit? Jeebus Christ on a crutch!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh please. This is just a ploy by Georgia to get that uppity negro out of the big house and back doing the fieldwork as God intended.

    • Extemporanus

      At least they still afford his kind the right to be tried by a jury of 3/5s of his peers.

    • Barrelhse

      And those pickaninnies of his can clean the goddamn school bathroom.

  • Of all the things Obama ought to have to answer for (mainly continuing the Bush-Cheney war on civil rights), this is why he's got to go to court?

    Maybe this country is already over?

    • massugu


  • SayItWithWookies

    Remember that actual long form birth certificate the birfers had been demanding for so long? Yeah, proof has nothing on these dipshits.

    • BarackMyWorld

      "If he'd just release the long form birth certificate, it'd put this matter to rest!"

      -serious conservatives one year ago

    • yrbmegr

      They want a federal court to say that merely being born here is not enough to make you a "natural-born" citizen. To them, there are three types of citizenship in the Constitution – "natural-born" citizen, "naturalized" citizen, and just citizen. Maybe we'll have another election settled by the Supreme Court this year?

      • RavenRant

        And they are two stupid to realize that the first five presidents could not meet their 'natural born' criteria.

        But then, they're also too stupid to find their dicks in a dark room.

        • tessiee

          "they're also too stupid to find their dicks in a dark room"

          That's not because they're stupid (although they are), it's because a) they're hung like gerbils, and b) they'd have to push Aunt Mommy's head out of the way, which seems kinda rude.

        • vtxmcrider

          But they never have trouble finding other men's dicks in an airport bathroom.

  • orygoon

    How many electoral votes are up for a Democratic win in Georgia this November, again?

    • Negropolis

      Not nearly enough to have to deal with this bullshit, I'll tell you what. Not nearly enough, indeed.

  • coolhandnuke

    Hannity is setting up his 24/7 studio outside the Atlanta courthouse…ala Terry Schiavo.

    • guangho

      Because Orly is every bit as braindead?

    • Barrelhse

      Still, those interviews with Terri were the best.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This seems so ridiculous when you consider that the State of Georgia let Newt Gingrich run several times without requiring to know what planet he was from, let alone if it was capable of harboring intelligent life.

    • C_R_Eature

      Uranus, wasn't it?

  • Joshua Norton

    So what is the precedent on "just pull crackpot ideas out of your ass and pretend they have legal standing"? Besides "Bush v. Gore" that is.

  • Barry just close all the military installations in Georgia.

  • BarackMyWorld

    And if Obama doesn't show up, his name might be kept off the primary ballot? Oh noes, because Obama really might lose the nomination.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Oh – you mean like Ole Newt in his "home state" of Virignia because the smartest person in the GNoPee Party (setting the bar mighty low, I know, but that's what they says about Ole Newt) couldn't figure out the signature rules in time to be qualified?

      This tells me he didn't take his own campaign seriously. He didn't figure to be still standing by now so he put no effort into Virgina. And probably no effort into Calista, either…

    • GOPCrusher

      Nor do I believe he honestly has a chance to win Georgia in the general election.

      • BarackMyWorld

        If Newt's on the ballot, every state is up for grabs.

        • Thurman Munster IV

          No, every woman is up for grabs

          • RavenRant

            Only those women who can't muster a good throat punch/crotch kick/instep crush combination.

  • widestanceshakedown

    You know they've got the tree already picked out, too.

    (sorry, that was dark even for me)

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      But, sadly, not far off base.

    • Barrelhse

      I gave you an upfist despite the apology.

  • savethispatient

    But how will Obama start bombing Iran if he's stuck in a courthouse in Georgia?

  • Tundra Grifter

    So the Deputy Chief Judge tells Boss Hogge to get the bloodhound offin' his lap and drive on up to Washington, DC, and visit that White House and arrest the President of these United States for failing to appear in his pennyante courtroom and then things really get interestin'.

    Is this a great C-movie or what? I see Jessica Simpson in her Daisy Dukes riddin' along with the Sheriff just to keep him company and stuff. He'll have a Mason jar of corn between his legs and the banjo music will be playin' in the background and it will just be great.

    2.0: Or he could have the jar of 'shine on the floor and Jessica between his legs. Either way.

    • LowProfileinGA

      … and then at the gate those guys with earphones have a talk with the Sheriff. So sweet.

    • RavenRant

      Mason jar of corn liquor?

      Otherwise, there are southern vices I find baffling.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Of course. There's only two kinds of corn south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Roast and buttered on a stick, and out of a jar.

        Boss Hogge's car will have a couple of empty Coke bottles with peanuts stuck on the insides rattling around on the floorboards. And a baseball bat under the front seat.

  • An_Outhouse

    Seriously, Why does Obama even need to be on a primary ballot? Is someone primarying him in Georgia? Ralph, is that you?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Thank you, Georgia, for winning this round of the backwoods batshit sweepstakes.


    Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Oklahoma

    • trondant

      You forgot Poland South Cakalacky!

    • neiltheblaze

      I can't imagine South Carolina sitting still for this, though.

    • Negropolis

      South Carolina will not stand for this title loss. No, really, South Carolina will not stand for this because they physically can't stand for this due to their crippling obesibeetus.

  • JackObin

    If things had gone properly in this increasingly nauseating nation, Orly Taitz would be cleaning public toilets with Pugsly Limbaugh.

    • widestanceshakedown

      She'd be cleaning Pugsly Limbaugh.

      • elviouslyqueer

        With Ann Coulter's dick, even.

    • trondant

      It does takes some muscle to yank that fucker up by his ankles and plunge the toilets with his big fat head, so I hope she's in shape.

    • neiltheblaze

      With nine year olds as their supervisors.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Yet we can't force W and Cheney to stand trial for, I dunno, 2001-2009?

    • Swampgas_Man

      That's different — they were white at the time.

    • Chichikovovich

      We probably could, it's just that we're "looking forward, not dwelling in the past".

  • Toomush_Infer

    Better idea = force Georgia to secede…

    • LowProfileinGA

      As if Georgia needs a push.

    • Angry_Marmot

      And this time, let 'em go.

      • Steverino247

        After we move every piece of military equipment out of the state. Then, they can go. I suspect we have nukes down there and you can't let rednecks have access to those any more than you can mullahs in Iran.

    • SorosBot

      But then we'd be abandoning all the non-white Georgians (not to mention the gay folk and women) to the whims of the bigots and Christian supremacists; I think we need to keep it.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I dunno … I bet they'd be happy to leave. And a large number of ignorant asshole rednecks would probably want to move in. Win, win. The whole fucking state could be like one, big double-wide with weeds out front and a rusted pickup on cinderblocks out back.
        I'd want some strict immigration and visa policies in place, though, after the blahs and the ladies make their escape.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Better better idea (credit Nanny Raygun)= Just Say No

  • WhatTheHeck

    The further we progress into the new century, the further some states retrogress into the last century.

  • C_R_Eature

    If I were Obama, I'd show up with the 82nd fucking Airborne, Lock down the entire town and sit in court with Seal Team Six. Holding Osama Bin Laden's shoes. With Warthog flyovers at treetop level every 5 minutes.
    I'd sit quietly for 10, 15 Minutes Then get up, walk slowly up to Judge Mali, lean over and whisper very quietly so that only he can hear "So you think Sherman's March was bad?"
    But that's just me.

    • emmelemm

      I like the way you think.

      • C_R_Eature

        I regard that as High praise indeed. Many thanks!

        You know, I've become quite civilized these days. There are limits, however and when I hit them…

    • You had me at "If I were Obama, I'd show up with the 82nd fucking Airborne…", but the rest was total win as well.

      • C_R_Eature

        Thanks and upfists. I'm Pissed Off.

    • I would be a fan of "Operation This Time We Give You Wusses Something To Cry About" as well.

    • tessiee

      Your ideas interest me, and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

      *BTW, I posted this comment about two seconds ago, except that instead of "interest", I used a similar word that sounds like "in-treeg", and it was immediately deleted by the administrators.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Wow — add "in†rigue" to the short list, along with "re†arded".


      • C_R_Eature

        HI Tessiee!

        That's Odd. I wonder why that word which sounds a lot like "in-treeg" would trip them out? some kind of SPAM thing? Of a Troll thing like the Forbidden Intellectual Deficit Word Which Begins with an "R" (and ends with ___etard).
        ooh let's see if THAT gets through

        Anyway, I've added your name to The List and you can expect the new Newsletter as soon as I can find parts to repair the Gestetener Mimeograph Machine.

        • tessiee

          Because if you spell "intreegue" correctly (take a moment and try it), the middle part of the word is the same as a certain Palin offspring's name.. you know… tr1g? and apparently that's still flipping the censor switch.

          • C_R_Eature

            Well, this is really going to put a damper on all of my Treeegonometry posts.

    • fuflans

      this is tarantino's version of barry's presidency and it can't come soon enough.

  • ingloriousbytch

    No problem. Barry will show up and just sing a little Al Green on the courthouse steps. Once every white woman in Georgia starts throwing her panties at the guy they'll beg him to leave.

    • Barrelhse

      Let's hope he doesn't do Barry White.

    • spinozasgod

      I don't think that's what happens when a white woman makes moves on a black man in the south……I believe there is usually a rope, a tree, and the n word involved…..

      • Steverino247

        Is Atticus Finch available for the defense?

    • Hey ladies, I've got a predator drone, *in my pants*.

    • tessiee

      "Once every white woman in Georgia starts throwing her panties at the guy they'll beg him to leave."

      Yeah, beg him with tar and feathers, if I know anything about the South.

  • Mahousu

    I think Obama should agree to go, under the condition that if the complaint is dismissed, the plaintiffs have to pay all his expenses. How much does it cost to run Air Force One? Something like $180,000 an hour, I believe? Of course, he'd have to keep the engines running the whole time, just in case some emergency cropped up.

    • RavenRant

      Excellent idea.

  • dadanarchist

    Doesn't Obama now have the power to declare the judge an enemy combatant and Georgia a rogue state?

    In this case, I might just have to overlook my general horror of predator drone strikes.

  • MissTaken

    When I think of the best ways for the leader of the free world to spend his time this is definitely tops on the list.

    • SorosBot

      At least this should be over quickly; unlike Clinton being forced to waste his time in court to answer questions about his penis, and then having that turned into the basis of a bullshit impeachment.

  • teebob2000

    What happens if NObama and Mittens end up in the prez race? What with NObama being a Kenyan and El Guante (close enough, no Mexican equivalent of "mitten") being a non-brown Mexico, we'll have no US citizen candidates!!!!


    • comrad_darkness

      What with Panamanian Strong Man McCain and Obama, we didn't done have no U.S. Citizen candidates the last time neither!

  • Nesnora

    Wow I'm just so SHOCKED that the fattest, slavin' state of the south just HAPPENS to get enough racists to legalize this circus stunt. IT MUST BE A COINCIDENCE.

    • shootymcbang

      Strange. I am more shocked that a liar mad it to the White House.

  • meatlofer

    That's why O.J. showed up for court ,also. He didn't want to look guilty.

  • Extemporanus

    Praise be to Allah that Sharia law has completely overtaken our judicial system.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Let's hope they serve barbecue and sweet ice tea in the Gitmo cafeteria.

  • HistoriCat

    That's it – I don't want to stay on this planet any more.

  • Indiepalin

    Obama should be ecstatic. Ya can't BUY this kind of publicity.

  • Limeylizzie

    OT but Martin Bashir is my new pretend bf.

  • Troglodeity

    Transcript of Hearing:
    "Please state your name." "Barack Hussein Obama III."
    "Where were you born?" "Hawaii."
    "Case dismissed."

  • MzNicky

    You've got to be fucking kidding me.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    I wanna see Georgia's birth certificate. And if it can't produce one then all of its dumbass, yokel citizens get deported straight into the middle of the Atlantic or gulf of Mexico, whichever happens to be closest.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Georgia was born when Tennessee fucked its sister state, South Carolina.

    • LetUsBray

      Didn't Georgia start out as a place where the UK shipped its undesirables, its lowlifes, and its ne'er-do-wells (Australia not having been discovered yet)?

      Hey Georgia, your roots are showing.

      • tessiee

        I can't see that 400 years of inbreeding has improved the gene pool any, either.

  • DrunkIrishman

    I wish the Obama Death Camps were real…she'd be Inmate No. One.

  • MzNicky

    Seriously — what on earth is it that they want the man to do? What's the point of this horseshit?

    It's finally time for Barry to get up, drop his pants, and invite the whole fucking lot of 'em to kiss his black ass. Way past time, actually.

  • Generation[redacted]

    We wouldn't be in this mess if Sarah Palin was President. Happy now, libtard commiesocialmuslimists?

  • buffalogal

    Malihi? Sounds kinda furrin to me. Is he some kind of a mooslim?

  • politics_nerd

    The internet snark is built in. ORLY? Yep.

  • Callyson

    Yo, Reeps, what was that business about activist judges again?

  • Redhead

    Pssst, Obama – it's a trap! Remember that dinner party scene in "Borat?" Just try to pick out which one is Cohen's photographer and avoid him/her.

  • cheetojeebus

    Just taking a break from giving myself a root canal with a bent paper clip and after wiping away the tears so i could focus, I read this embarrassing bullshit. Back to work, that nerve and pulp's not going to crawl out of this rank abscessed tooth on it's own.

  • chascates

    Barack Obama owes me 2 cases of Pappy Van Winkle bourbon. If he doesn't show up at my place with it before the first of the month the whole country will realize what a cheapskate and a fraud he is!

    Or he could ship it to me, whatever.

  • Can Barry pull a Perry and just lock up that activist judge and the horse he rode in on? He can do that now right, even though he promised (wink wink) he wouldn't? I've been on a bender and haven't paid attention for a few weeks.

  • rocktonsam

    how many court dates did Turdblossom miss?

  • RavenRant

    If POTUS actually shows up for this, the Secret Service had better be on Red Alert.

    And this judge needs a massive public humiliation that will make him a John Edwards level pariah.

  • mavenmaven

    Can we guess that Malihi will soon run for some office as a tea party candidate?

  • ingloriousbytch

    All that's left is for Mayella Ewell to ask Barack to bust up the chifforobe in her yard for a nickel.

    • emmelemm

      It's all fun and games until somebody uses the word "chiffarobe".

      (Seriously, that's like my favorite word ever.)

      • tessiee

        It started out as chiffonier (chiffon is French for rag or cloth), and somewhere along the line got mashed up with wardrobe (the piece of furniture); and yes, it is a great word.

  • Gunner Asch

    The closest I've found for an email contact is case management assistant Valerie Ruff at

    I sent her a note asking that it be forwarded to him. From the looks of the comment boards I've seen, we have a LOT of wingnuts in seventh heaven right now, and they all seem to be pouring on the praise. I tried to dampen that a bit. Perhaps a few of you could send along copies of some of your comments?

  • OldRedneck

    NO. Obama has not be ordered to appear nor has he been subpoenaed to appear.

    The lamestream press — specifically, AP — screwed the pooch on this one.

    Here are the details.

    — A couple of birthers filed suit in GA to remove Obama from the Democratic primary ballot. They were joined by Orly Taitz.

    — The attorney for the GA Democratic Party filed a motion to quash these suits.

    — The administrative law judge who is hearing the challenges ruled that the motion to quash was insufficient and he directed all parties to be in his office on 26 January to explain this issue to him.

    — MEANWHILE — THINGS GOT WIERD. The GA court system has their subpoena forms online, complete with a rubber-stamped judge's signature. Orly downloaded the subpoena form and issued "subpoenas" to everyone she could think of except for the Pope, Moses, and my black-and-tan hound dog.

    — Orly's subpoena's are worthless. Subpoena's can be issued only by judges and this judge wants only the attorneys to show up on Thursday.

    — However, Orly and the birthers spread the story that Obama had been subpoenaed and the lamestream media picked up the story.

    It's bullshit. Obama's Thursday schedule has him jetting out west — Vegas, San Diego, etc., and back to Detroit for the night.

    Read all about it here:

    • Chichikovovich

      So if I understand you correctly, what you're saying is OMIGOD Obama's been subpoena'ed by Orly Taitz, they're going to arrest him in the oval office!!

      We'd better spread the word.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      So Oily Titz sent out fake subpoenas, over a judge's signature? I'm guessing that the judge is not going to be pleased. We may, at long last, see this hideous creature disbarred, fined heavily, and possibly jailed for a period sufficient to make an impression on her tiny, defective mind.

    • massugu

      I'm shocked, the media got it wrong? Say it isn't so!

  • Steverino247

    One more time:

    Obama could have been born on Pluto, but as long as his mother was a U.S. citizen, so was he. The two newspapers of record for Hawai'i printed birth notices, even. Who the hell really believes that some guy in Kenya has the resources to get two rival newspapers on the other side of the planet to print a lie just to support a run for President 40 years later by a black kid, who, at the time of his birth had exactly ZERO chance of drinking from the same water fountain as whites, let alone becoming President. On August 4, 1961, his parents couldn't have even gotten married in much of the United States, let alone think about having a kid make it to the White House as something other than a servant or cook. Stupidity alone does not explain this belief system. The belief that cutting your balls off and then drinking poison so you could catch a ride on a passing comet is an MIT Ph.D. dissertation by comparison to the birther belief system. Anyone who espouses this stupidity should not be allowed near a pair of Nikes.

    • Chichikovovich

      This is a good summary Steverino, but you are forgetting that those few birthers who can actually read have been devoting all the fiendish powers of Hell to coming up with things they call arguments. [You know, like the one that similar loonietunes came up with to argue that they don't have to pay income tax because the income tax is unconstitutional because when the 16th amendment was ratified by Oklahoma the statement of it used different punctuation, and some other state didn't have a quorum, so it wasn't really ratified etc. ] So the story goes something like: well, at such and such a date, you needed to have been in the US continuously for some period of time to be counted as having some status or other, if you were under 18. But Obama's mother was under 18 for part of it, so she would be judged under rule blah blah, which wasn't changed until she was blah blah … etc.

      It's an ingenious construction, in the way that schizophrenic's proofs of the existence of God based solely on coincidences in a month's worth of baseball scores is ingenious. Naturally they go hopping from one body of law to another – immigration law, family law, laws of inheritance, picking out just the bits they need, ignoring anything in the same lawbooks that contradicts their interpretation, and at the end of all that you get some argument that being born of one American citizen isn't enough if the facts are as they were with Obama mère, because [Insert proof of existence of God from baseball scores here].

      Then there's something else about how even if he was born in the US, both your parents have to be citizens (or something like that) because [Insert proof of existence of God from baseball scores here].

      So they've got it covered.

      • tessiee

        Or like the way Dan Rather's printing out the documentation that Duhbya was a draft-dodging, cokehead drunk on a *kind of paper* that didn't exist 30 years ago disproved the *content* of said documentation.

  • Rotundo_

    Gee I wonder if Orly could see some trouble for stirring this up (sending subpoenae out in a judges' name, without consulting them? Sounds a little extralegal to me… But I'm not a lawyer so YMMV

  • MzNicky

    Taitz doesn’t care if Obama tries to skip the hearing because, as It told the Miami Herald, “then he looks guilty. The whole nation understands this man is a fraud.”

    No, Oily. If he skips this ludicrous nutbaggery, then he looks like the leader of the fucking country who has better things to do than lower himself to this beyond-tiresome charade. The whole nation understands that YOU are an idiotic cunt whose 15 minutes expired about 20 minutes ago.

  • Fox n Fiends

    There are 13 military bases in Georgia. Time to relocate them all to Florida, the only blue state in the region – with 27 delegates. win/win.

    • Exactly. It also solves the problems of the locals trying to encourage disobeying lawful orders and welfare handouts that the "rugged individualists" in Georgia clearly do not want or else they would shut up.

  • ElPinche

    Obama next week: "Sorry we accidentally napalmed Georgia and Michael Malihi's klan shack during one our military "tests" anywho! "

  • As petty as the birfers sound, their talk borders on treason as they encourage military to refuse lawful orders. At least, that's what the Repubicans said about Democrats who questioned Bush's legitimacy after Bush won the 2000 election by 5-4.

  • Beowoof

    Georgia! Just the place for a black man to get a fair hearing.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Yeah, ask Troy Davis.

    • tessiee

      Where'd you see that? In peaceful dreams?

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Remember, kids, that's Orly "Snot Otter" Taitz.

    • C_R_Eature

      Ah, the "Snot Otter"! Thank you. I was trying to remember the exact term & was too busy/distracted/lazy to find it. Upfist.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    For your sanity's sake, don't read the Miami Herald comments. My. Brain. Hurts!

  • Terry

    The comment section for that Miami Herald article is like a group therapy session in a psychiatric ward.

  • tessiee

    Your move, South Carolina.

  • tessiee

    "if Obama tries to skip the hearing because, as It told the Miami Herald, “then he looks guilty"

    I've met people like this: If you argue whatever ass-headed point they're making, they assume that they've "really gotten to" you. If you quite correctly surmise that there's no way to win an argument with someone like that, and walk away, they assume that they've "stumped" you.
    It's quite vexing.

  • Slim_Pickins

    Perfect situation for a drone strike! Extremists massing, no air defense.

  • owhatever

    Georgia, ever law abiding, did not sign the Bill of Rights until 1939. They expect that black boy to do as he is told, or the Klan must ride.

  • neiltheblaze

    Yep – Orly Taitz – one of the great legal minds of our age.

  • Negropolis

    This suit apparently hasn’t been viewed as “frivolous,” perhaps because…

    …this is a judge in Georgia, of course.

  • Negropolis

    Ship this whole state to Afghanistan; no one will have lost any.

  • SteveSwimmer

    President Obama "ineligible to be on the ballot." Excellent!!!

    Here, we Georgians all should give our all; and, support our ultra-right wing Republican racist Brothers in this absolutely mad; yet, Progressively flavorful endeavor.

    I mean, should our hopes and prayers conclude with a resounding victory for the Republican racist crowd; and, President Obama is denied a place on the Georgia Presidential ballot: Well hot damn!

    That means the Georgia electoral votes will not be certified…, increasing
    President Obama's percentage in the national electoral vote.

    Finally, an ultra-right wing racist Republican attack on President Obama I can support.

  • gizdal

    did orly taitz ever pay that $20,000 fine a judge ordered her to pay for bringing frivolous suits? anybody know what happened to that?

  • OldRedneck

    Follow-up to my previous comment: And now the GA court has removed from their website the blank subpoena form!!

  • Schmegeg

    Send some Navy SEALS to this hearing.

  • LiveToServeYa

    No man is above the racist, politically-motivated, conniving, mean-spirited Southern law.

  • shootymcbang

    The two heads of the beast that rules America, the Democrats and Republicans, once again proves to do what what they do best. That is to keep the people divided on as many issues as possible so that hopefully we won't be aware of the fact that our nation is being stolen from us. There is one party in America that has a voice. The moneyed elite party. The issues that create the most passionate responses from us are never resolved in a way that will allow us to move forward. Nor will old wounds be allowed to heal. Doing so would remove the forces that raise these issues at the appropriate time making peace among ourselves almost an impossibility. The system in place now, by design, will always cut through the body politic like a hot knife through butter keeping the serfs confused, divided and weak.

    The birther issue has been sold as an issue of race allowing the rule book to be thrown out that outlines the protocol that should be strictly adhered to as it pertains to all that is requisite to be POTUS.
    The president must be born to parents that are both US citizens at the time of birth. Period. The present occupier of the position was not. Period.

    By throwing a "racist" spin on this issue is merely a diversion tactic that apparently distorts the ability of many to see the issue clearly. How is it that the POTUS is a black man? His mother was white. His father was black. I assert that he is man of mixed ethnicity. His political agenda so far has served areas traditionally owned and operated by white people. Banks and corporations. Will someone please share with us all what he has done that has specifically been a benefit to people of color? Better yet, that has been a benefit to any of us?

  • ttommyunger

    The Clerk of Court has promised to put out the "good" spittoons when Barry shows up; so they've got that going for them, which is nice…

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