ESTABLISHMENT MARKETING TECHNIQUES  2:13 pm January 24, 2012

Occupy Wall Street’s Scripted SOTU Response ‘Embargoed’ By PR Company

by Wonkette Jr.

#OWS today.The dull evidence of a typical hack political campaign is the “embargoed” speech or statement sent out many hours before the event it is supposed to address. And now we’ve got this email from a big P.R. firm claiming that the Occupy Wall Street response to Obama’s State of the Union speech is contained within this mass-mailed marketing material. That whole “mic check” thing was getting a bit stale even before it was written into a press release and sent to the nation’s political media with the dumb demand that it be kept from the common people’s eyes until after Barack Obama read his prepared comments.

So, for what it’s worth — very little, by the looks of it — here is the script that the Occupy Wall Street political organization will follow tonight, when they act like they are responding to Obama’s SOTU:

Occupy Wall Street’s Response to SOTU. The State of the 99%

This 2012 “State of the 99%” response to the State of the Union will be delivered by a group of Occupiers assembled outside in a well-lit spot at McPherson Square following the conclusion of the President’s State of the Union address and/or the Tea Party response. The presentation will unfold this way: one participant will begin in the center/front of the group, in the middle of the camera frame, surrounded by the others. That person will deliver the first line of the speech, and will then be echoed by the People’s Mic. That person will then read their second line, and as the People’s Mic echoes the second line, that person will move off to the side and rejoin the group, while another person will step into the center spot to read the next two lines, with each line again echoed by the People’s Mic. This will continue, cycling through the crowd, with each person reading two lines and being echoed by the People’s Mic.

Mic check! [mic check] Mic check! [mic check]
Fellow Americans, good evening! [Fellow Americans, good evening!]

We are men and women of the 99 percent
Many of us have spent many months at Occupy Wall Street

and at other Occupations across the country and around the world
We are here tonight to report on the State of the 99 percent in America

Of course most Americans know the state of the 99 percent very well
But sometimes the one percent, on Wall Street and in Washington, need a reminder

Financially, the state of the 99% is not strong
That is an understatement.

Never in our lifetimes have so many hard-working Americans
Faced so many difficulties, so many uncertainties, so many indignities

In Occupy camps around the country
We find Americans from all walks of life

[3 personal story couplets]

Some of us have had it rougher than others
And it turns out living in camps is no picnic either

But we do not give up easily
And we take inspiration from the brave Americans who came before us

From Dr. King, who gave his life fighting for economic justice
From the Suffragettes, who insisted the voice of women be heard

From all of those brave or foolish enough to believe in America’s defining idea

theidea of democracy

That we are all created equal

And we all have an equal voice in shaping the laws we all live by

America
Let’s be honest.

When our courts tell us corporations have more right to speak than we the people do
That’s not democracy.

When pepper spray and midnight raids make a joke of the 1st Amendment right to assemble.
That’s not democracy.

When defrauding clients, blowing up our economy, forging thousands of documents and seizing people’s homes illegally is not a crime
but protesting all that is a crime

That’s not democracy.
Our America is not a democracy, not yet.

We all know why: Wall street owns Washington.
Bribery is legal, and the laws we live by are for sale to the highest bidder

That is why our government serves the very rich and powerful
at the expense of the rest of us

It protects the bonuses of bankers and Wall Street executives,
while failing to keep hard-working families in their homes;

It shields offshore tax havens for the very wealthy,
while letting our bridges, schools, and infrastructure fall apart;

There have been dark periods in our nation’s history, when corruption became the norm
when grave injustices stood in the way of America living up to its best ideals.

But time and time again, Americans stepped up to take back their government and correct our course.
Today Occupy Wall Street and the 99% movement step into this proud American tradition.

But fear not, one percent!
We are not here just to help the 99% at your expense.

We are here to help you too.
For when you’ve begun to think rigging the game is fair game

When you regard hard-working Americans as undeserving of a middle-class life
and unworthy of the profit their own work creates

When you treat the people who build your buildings and serve your food and raise your children and patrol your streets
without respect

You have not only lost touch with our humanity
You have lost touch with your own humanity

You need to find it again, for everyone’s sake
Real democracy will do you good

We are the 99%
We are here to create the democracy we have all been promised.

We are the 99%.
Our finances are weak, but our spirit is strong.

We are the 99%.
Our spring is coming.

Meh. Another People Power Movement reduced to banal hackery and PR email blasts.

 
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{ 181 comments }

OC_Surf_Serf January 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Like the other 99%, I don't have the time to read all that

Baconzgood January 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I skimmed it for words like boobs and hand jobs so I have no interest.

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I do that with ctrl+F, saves a lot of time and eyestrain.

widestanceshakedown January 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I only read 1% of it.

PsycWench January 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I can't tell why it's supposed to be a response, given that it was written completely before the SOTU. At least the Republican/tea bag response puts on a show of having listened to the president before reciting the talking points.

ChernobylSoup January 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm

This comment embargoed until 9pm EST.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm

This comment embargoed until 9pm EST.

elviouslyqueer January 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm

This comment embargoed by the administrator.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm

#OccupyOccupyWallStreet!

smashaduck January 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm

How to kill a movement 101

valgal2342 January 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Eat too much cheese?

chicken_thief January 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

What is: How to make sant rum smell like brie, Alex?

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Well I wouldn't mind making some santorum with Allison Brie; yummy.

woodsboyAK January 24, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Once that mic-check nonsense starts, I check out. There is no better way that to make your point pointless by stretching it out to 5x longer than it should be.

MozakiBlocks January 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

The presentation will unfold this way: one participant will begin in the center/front of the group, in the middle of the camera frame, surrounded by the others. That person will deliver the first line of the speech, and will then be echoed by the People’s Mic. That person will then read their second line, and as the People’s Mic echoes the second line, that person will move off to the side and rejoin the group, while another person will step into the center spot to read the next two lines, with each line again echoed by the People’s Mic. This will continue, cycling through the crowd, with each person reading two lines and being echoed by the People’s Mic.

Do what to who now?

bureaucrap January 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

It's called "The Aristocrats"!

weej_bain January 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Too much hash and not enough hashtags.

BarackMyWorld January 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Will there be an official Wonkette response to the State of the Union?

Nostrildamus January 24, 2012 at 2:23 pm

"Take off your shirt!"

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm

More like "Show your tits!"

We're not that subtle here.

GOPCrusher January 24, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Amy Klobachar is giving the speech?

sarah_connor January 24, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Hawaiian Shark God or GTFO!

jus_wonderin January 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm

"Sing to me, BO!!"

nounverb911 January 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"Get off my lawn!"

jus_wonderin January 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm

"You lie!!!"

Baconzgood January 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm

"NEEDZ MOAR BUTTSECKS!11!!1!!"

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Bottoms Up!

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

"You know who else had an official response?"

chicken_thief January 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm

The SCOTUS to Troy Davis?

elviouslyqueer January 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Does gratuitous fapping count?

GhostBuggy January 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Is there such a thing?

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Only if it's chronic.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 3:12 pm

RESPONSE LIBEL!!

Tundra Grifter January 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm

All of them, Katie.

Man0nTheStreet January 24, 2012 at 3:19 pm

If there's no official Wonkette response, we can always strap on pig noses and take part in the official GOoPer program of loud oinking and farting noises.

LesBontemps January 24, 2012 at 3:30 pm

This entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 3:37 pm

T

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Trucknutz.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

"Don't Teabag, me, Bro!"

chicken_thief January 24, 2012 at 4:11 pm

This should only be discussed in a quiet room.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 24, 2012 at 5:20 pm

No response necessary. We are a War Blog, after all.

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Verbose motherfuckers, huh?

memzilla January 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Yeah, I'm sure the 1% is trembling in their Guccis over this.

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm

one participant will begin in the center/front of the group, in the middle of the camera frame, surrounded by the others. That person will deliver the first line of the speech, and will then be echoed by the People’s Mic. That person will then read their second line, and as the People’s Mic echoes the second line, that person will move off to the side and rejoin the group,….

We used to do this in 1st or 2nd grade.

Row row row your boat,
gently down the stream,
etc etc etc

memzilla January 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Needs moar Vulture Capitalist Blood running in the gutters.

el_chupacabra January 24, 2012 at 2:23 pm

something tells me this will be annoying to listen to after the first two lines. Message lost due to hipsters being hipsters. Next time mention Tebow.

Chillwillard January 24, 2012 at 2:23 pm

You know who else did an unsuccesful/shitty sotu response?

ChernobylSoup January 24, 2012 at 2:26 pm

That volcano in Alaska?

nounverb911 January 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Mount Jindal?

Generation[redacted] January 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

SkoalRebel?

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Kenneth the Page?

jus_wonderin January 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm

"Jane. Stop this crazy thing!"?

Baconzgood January 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Oh wait…Her name in on the tip of my tongue….Nope almost had it.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Take your face out of her panties and gaze upon her visage for a minute. It'll come back to you.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm

John Roberts?

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Joe "you lie" Wilson?

Tundra Grifter January 24, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Joe [not his real name] the Plumber [not his real occupation.]

Sounds like a Mafia cognomen, doesn't it?

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 24, 2012 at 5:21 pm

The one with the crazy eyes?

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 8:07 pm

I KNOW I don't even have to say "Hitler."

I mean Jindal! I mean Jindal!

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:23 pm

"Meh. Another People Power Movement reduced to banal hackery and PR email blasts."

Rilly, man. Isn't this what happened to the Tea Party? Well, I mean, if the Tea Party hadn't been a manufactured movement from the very beginning?

LabRodent January 24, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I like to write stuff when im High.

Generation[redacted] January 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

mic bong check!

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I can't decide what I hate
more about this

dumb poem:

Its theme, its
structure, or the fact that

it doesn't
even fucking

rhyme.

</Walken>

Sharkey January 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm

When there's nothing good on TV, that's not a democracy.

coolhandnuke January 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I'd prefer watching Santorum's Apple ad to this pablum.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm

tl;dr.

Brought torches and pitchforks, tho. We can has bloodletting nao?

Banelm January 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm

I'll second that. Howabout Occupying the Cayman Islands?

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 8:04 pm

I'm in. I'm'a bring mah homies, too.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Has to still be more interesting than the Tea Party Response. And at least they will be looking at the camera.

SudsMcKenzie January 24, 2012 at 2:26 pm

That was alot of words, I dont know what the fuck you said, or if there was a point in there. I even read it twice, because I "started early" today.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 24, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I'm waiting for the OWS response to the Oscar nominations.

LesBontemps January 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Is the same press release.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Somebody really needs to help the Occupy protesters sell their message better; by having separate people read word of the speech, the whole thing will be garbled, chaotic and incomprehensible. Try, like, one person per sentence; that could actually work.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I like your idea. I'll Tweet it. Couldn't hurt.

imissopus January 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Speaking of SOTU responses, Herman Cain is soliciting suggestions on Twitter for what he should put in his official TP response to the SOTU tonight. Use the hashtag #CainResponse to send him some suggestions (his Twitter account is @THEHermanCain.) For some reason, "Give me capitalism or give me death" is extremely popular and seems to be used unironically.

VinnyThePooh January 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Needs moar fetus jugglin'.

UW8316154 January 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"This will continue, cycling through the crowd, with each person reading two lines and being echoed by the People’s Mic."

Oh for Christ's sake, it's going to be long, boring and incomprehensible.

I cannot believe that this is the same movement that was so classy at Davis during Katehi's silent evening walk to her car.

Chichikovovich January 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

They had meant to do exactly the same thing at Davis that they are going to do here, but by the time everyone had figured out the directions Katehi had already driven off.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Please stop. I'm bored.

C_R_Eature January 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Shouted in high, clear little girl voice.

Repeat as necessary.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Too long,
Therefore wrong.
~

Callyson January 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm

We could have used this after last night's debate.

bumfug January 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I'd rather listen to a demented crackhead yell at the voices in his head than hear another one of those annoying fucking mic-checks.

Generation[redacted] January 24, 2012 at 3:09 pm

That demented crackhead makes some good points.

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I'll be anxious to get the read-ahead for the OWS response to the Super Bowl. I'm sure it will be more compelling than what I will have to hear from those idiots on the NFL Network. Go Pats!

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm

You have not only lost touch with our humanity
You have lost touch with your own humanity

How does OWS know about me touching my humanity?

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Moist?

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm

OWS, the humanity!

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Well everybody does it, so it kind of goes without saying.

chicken_thief January 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Hey, I've never touched MissT's humanity! Tell my wife, MissT, before she gets the round chambered!!!

prommie January 24, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I have committed crimes against my humanity many times.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 3:10 pm

How did they know I just had a Pants-Off Dance-Off?

actor212 January 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Mic check!

elviouslyqueer January 24, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Adhesive side down!

LesBontemps January 24, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Where did you get a huge manatee? Do you live in Florida?

Guppy January 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm

At this point, who doesn't know?

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 24, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Wasn't that the point of charging $5 to view the web cam footage?

Chichikovovich January 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm

If the success of the OWS revolution means that we have to listen to by-the-numbers boilerplate like that all the time, I'm voting for Gingrich.

SudsMcKenzie January 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

This is what makes Keanu Reves sad.

DerrickWildcat January 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I will occupy any place within walking distance for $37.28 because that is how much I need.

researchrants January 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

This is stupid. [This is stupid.]

Chichikovovich January 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Also, I observe that OWS rather cravenly avoids any mention at all of the plague of fetus-eating that is sweeping the country.

chicken_thief January 24, 2012 at 4:18 pm

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!

RedneckMuslin January 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Nobody asked but I will give my response to Barry's SOTU.

"Yep, you're right."

meatlofer January 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm

If it wasn't for Sturgis, I'd leave this country!

dadanarchist January 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Needs more guillotine.

prommie January 24, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Pitchforks and torches, at least.

veritass January 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm

tl;dr

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

"[3 personal story couplets]"

Oh? Do tell.

actor212 January 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

I was hoping for haikus, but there you have it.

actor212 January 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

In fairness to OWS, they embargoed a pretty shitty response. I can understand why they'd want to wait for bigger names to overshadow this.

Especially since most of it has been running on the TeeVee for a couple of weeks already.

widestanceshakedown January 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I see what you did there.

actor212 January 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm

That person will deliver the first line of the speech, and will then be echoed by the People’s Mic.

Wait. The Rock will be delivering the response?

Awesome!

OneYieldRegular January 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I predict that this will be especially effective if read by people with chalkboard-scraping, strident voices who conclude by blaming everything on the Fed and Zionism.

Geminisunmars January 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Okay you guys, cut it out. These are your breathren, sistren, and/or children.

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I'm an only child myself, but everyone I knew growing up that had brothers and sisters, they were always fucking with each other, beating on each other, teasing each other, making each other cry, etc.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 3:13 pm

And if the rumors were true, some of them were just plain old fucking each other.

chicken_thief January 24, 2012 at 4:22 pm

All those rumors are false.

Thank you.

~ The Residents of the State of Kentucky

SudsMcKenzie January 24, 2012 at 3:08 pm

My sisters beat me at tennis

actor212 January 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm

My cistern is empty

DaRooster January 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"Yeah… what they said."

ifthethunderdontgetya January 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I'd go with something succinct.

How about,

"We're going to hang all you corrupt, lying assholes from lamp posts."
[repeat]
~

actor212 January 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Not only +1, but FTW

LesBontemps January 24, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Gets right to the point. I'd go with this edit.

widestanceshakedown January 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm

If only this was read aloud by Lieberman and Pawlenty, it could really. . . .zzzzzzzzzzz/thump.

elviouslyqueer January 24, 2012 at 2:54 pm

So, couplets, eh? Oh, if I must

There once were Occupiers who said
"Hey POTUS, off with your head!"

After Barry's SOTU,
They all shouted "Fuck You!"

And soon occupied Gitmo instead.
Ode, ode, ode.

sati_demise January 24, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I usually have to hear the other persons speech before rebuttal.

They must be time travelers.

prommie January 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm

But is there sex? Dirty hippie sex in sleeping bags?

MissTaken January 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I think that's what they mean by:

We are the 99%.
Our spring is coming

prommie January 24, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Santa Clause only comes once a year.

SorosBot January 24, 2012 at 3:43 pm

And here I thought it was "We are the 99%, offspring are coming" and figured the hippies had forgotten their condoms.

SayItWithWookies January 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm

But fear not, one percent!
We are not here just to help the 99% at your expense.
We are here to help you too….

You have not only lost touch with our humanity
You have lost touch with your own humanity
You need to find it again, for everyone’s sake
Real democracy will do you good

That sound you hear is drawbridges being pulled up at 1% of the households in America.

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Hippies did the same thing in the sixties, execpt it was…
Kumbaya my lord [Kumbaya]
Kumbaya my lord [Kumbaya]
Kumbaya my lord [Kumbaya]
Oh Lord [Kumbaya]

Then they went over to campus and blew up the Science Building

sati_demise January 24, 2012 at 3:09 pm

So, some hot DC cop on hipster action after the SOTU!

DerrickWildcat January 24, 2012 at 3:09 pm

When I was a little kid I used to think poetry was gross and for girls. Then one day the English teacher read the words to War Pigs to show us that it was really poetry because it rhymed. He was right, Masses rhymed with Masses. So now I kind of like poetry because songs are really poetry with guitars except for some songs that don't have any words at all and they are all stupid.

BaldarTFlagass January 24, 2012 at 3:21 pm

"some songs that don't have any words at all and they are all stupid."

Derrick, you need to go back and listen to "Peaches en Regalia" or "Beck's Bolero" again.

chicken_thief January 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm

It wasn't the Ventures fault that they were all dumb.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 3:10 pm

OT Martin Bashir is reaming that hideous Joe Walsh, delicious.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Did you see him yesterday? He was talking about Romney going after Gingrich in a more forceful way and added, "I reminds me of a politician in England who said his opponent's rebuttals were like being attacked by a dead sheep."

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I love him, I never used to, but if you watch him he is so understated and snarky, he is probably on Wonkette.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I think MSNBC is giving him more leeway than ABC did.He's very droll and he has more knowledge about international issues than the other ones do which is why I watch.

Gainsbourg69 January 24, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I've caught his show a few times and I like the way he insults people in that British manner of his.

Limeylizzie January 24, 2012 at 5:27 pm

We are so fucking excellent at that, dentistry and haute cuisine-not soi much, but sarcasm we have down to an art form.

Gainsbourg69 January 24, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Marco Pierre White libel.

SudsMcKenzie January 24, 2012 at 3:11 pm

*achem*, as someone who stood out in a godamn WI winter for weeks, watching crowds go from a few thousand to 100k. Watching Doctors and Nurses risk their careers handing out "notes", and a tiny recall petition stand at the Capital steps start (none of us thought had a chance) it pains me to see these people as posers.

I love that they have added the income disparity to the dialogue, but for fucks sake do something else than digging igloos at Davos.

This is what we are doing http://mirrors.5nines.com/stream/ , and we still have an uphill battle.

*steps off soap box*

WiscDad January 24, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Amen to that…and thank you.

Extemporanus January 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Thank you, Suds.

And thank you, too, patriotic volunteer Rainman army counting away quietly, on cam, for freedom.

montreal_bruin January 24, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Ooooooh, chatty Cathy with the ponytail has teh sexy nerd thing going on . . .

real_dc_native January 24, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Thanks Suds. I wish I could give you 10ps.

coolhandnuke January 24, 2012 at 3:14 pm

A bootleg tape of the greatest hits from an occupied port-a-potty at Burning Man is finer dining music than this occupied muzak.

PhilippePetain January 24, 2012 at 3:16 pm

That mic check thing has always been embarrassing as fuck.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Needz moar roadies.

Fare la Volpe January 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm

You couldn't sell a poem this shitty on Etsy, even if you sprinkled it with glitter and labeled it as "upcycled."

mrblifil January 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I thought no individuals spoke for the movement. Someone is in need of a flaming tire collar of one variety or another. Maybe we'll be nice and start them off with a bicycle wheel…

coolhandnuke January 24, 2012 at 3:29 pm

"V For Vegetable"…worst sequel ever.

BigDumbRedDog January 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm

As a member of the 99%, I am way too busy eating fetuses and drinking rubbing alcohol to read all that shit.

DrunkIrishman January 24, 2012 at 3:32 pm

tl;dr

Sharkey January 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm

That Mike Czech dude sure gets around.

Mumbletypeg January 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Pointless; an exercise in futility. All the 1% ever needed to know about the Occupy movement they learned from that newspaper photo of the cop in Oakland petting an occupy-orphaned kittycat.

kissawookiee January 24, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I had a root canal this morning, which you might think promises to make the SOTU far more entertaining than usual, but because Jebus hates me I can't take painkillers any more potent than ibuprofen without violently puking. I haz a sad.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Aww. I'm kissing you wookie. Guess you can never be in a rock band. (Punk band maybe, puking could be part of the act.)

kissawookiee January 24, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I may go with fetus shots instead; I hear they're delicious AND protein-packed.

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Might help your recovery.Feel better.

sati_demise January 24, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Bong hits ?

real_dc_native January 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Hey, it's not Miley Cyrus but sadly #OWS reminds me of this:

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

—–

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know

——-

You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead

Wonderthing January 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

“Every American community has varying shades of political opinion. One of the shadiest of these is the liberal. Ten degrees to the left of center in good times. Ten degrees to the right of center if it affects them personally.”

–Phil Ochs

ingloriousbytch January 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

OWS, I love you, but it's time for you assholes to stop acting like mimes and start acting like a real political movement. Cut the street theatre and get behind some policy changes.

GOPCrusher January 24, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Agreed. It reminds me of the entire Obama Administration up to this point, the wingnuts screaming about socialism and fundamentally changing America, so they've been going out of their way not to piss the wingnuts off.
Maybe the time has come for the OWS Movement to start showing up with some ropes and swinging some iron around to give the 1% the idea that we are getting tired of fucking around.

ingloriousbytch January 24, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I don't even need tire irons (yet). How about having a person deliver the OWS repsonse? A single person delivering a coherent statement instead of this performance art people's mic bullshit. It wouldn't have to be a politician (although I think it's time we made use of Robert Reich, Buddy Roemer or Bernie Sanders). I know that there have been benefits to the fluid nature of OWS but it's time to evolve into something besides hippie mobs. This kind of stuff just begs to be mocked. We've changed the conversation now let's get to work on changing the SYSTEM.

My apologies for the lack of snark but I hate seeing OWS blow an opportunity like this with lame theatrics.

Gainsbourg69 January 24, 2012 at 6:41 pm

I disagree. OWS changed the conversation without any money or politicians behind them. The Tea Bagger movement, on the other hand, is all but dead because they tried to change the GOP from the inside and ended up compromising themselves. Now every body hates them and they're unhappy with the people they've put in office. Perhaps staying in the periphery is the best thing for OWS if they want to get the whole of the 99% on side, no?

Jukesgrrl January 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

When will we hear a response from Walker, Texas Ranger?

jus_wonderin January 24, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I accidently the SOTU. Is this bad?

Guppy January 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm

"Yes, we're all different!"

Guppy January 24, 2012 at 4:11 pm

If there's one thing I learned, it's to never allow anybody with any sort of political agenda to get a hold of my email address. They're all well aware that they don't qualify as "spam" under the law, and they all think they're so clever

thefrontpage January 24, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Embargo THIS!

GOPCrusher January 24, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I'm not embarrassed to say this, but I found this extremely difficult to masturbate to.

DahBoner January 24, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Tell us in one sentence, what you're going to tell us.

Tell us, in one or two sentences.

Tell us what you just told us.

4 sentences, tops, to explain anything, verbose, boring windbags…

Nesnora January 24, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Better idea: Collectively shit on a print-out of Newt, Mitts, Ron and Santorum in a lemon party photoshop, followed by a moment of silence.

Gainsbourg69 January 24, 2012 at 8:15 pm

They may never get the whole of the 99% on side, but the message they're trying to put out there would resonate with a lot more people if they avoid choosing blue over red.

Americans for prosperity helped the tea party focus on more strategic goals and helped them achieve some great results. But OWS dominates the conversation now because the baggers became a part of the political realm and now that they're on the inside they've been sold out by the very politicians they pinned their hopes on.

Bill Maher, Bernie Sanders, Robert Reich and Buddy Romer have been at it for years and they have never changed the conversation like OWS has been able to. Believe me, it feels counter intuitive to say this, but why not let these people keep on doing their thing and see how it plays out?

The teabaggers are calling the shots? That's news to me. If they were calling the shots Michele Bachmann would still be in the race.

Negropolis January 25, 2012 at 4:13 am

I, for one, will not criticise the spirit of the movement. When this thing kicks back into high-gear when everything unthaws in the spring, their supposed allies won't be laughing.

ttommyunger January 25, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Will the left ever learn what the Right has perfected? Go for the jugular, keep it short, keep it simple. Jeesh!

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