APOCALYPSE NOW  7:00 pm January 23, 2012

Santorum Tells Pregnant Rape Victims: ‘Make the Best Out of a Bad Situation’

by Liz Colville

Searching for the final nail in the coffin of Rick Santorum’s political career, there appears to be a solid contender in a CNN interview Piers Morgan conducted with the Republican candidate ahead of the South Carolina primary. The liberal network OBVS wanted to get at Santorum’s extremely conservative views, but the response Santorum gave on the matter of abortion is so heinous it might terrify the viewer away from anything associated with the video, namely, Rick Santorum, walls, picture frames, CNN (again), Piers Morgan (again), lights, chairs, clothing esp. sweater vests, microphones, moving images, air, words, YouTube, television, electricity, sounds, Earth and the Internet.

Yes, the titular proclamation in this post is bad enough, but Piers Morgan asked Santorum to clarify his stance on abortion, which meant that Santorum droned on for a good minute, claiming that his stance has nothing to do with his religious views, then dropping the world “God” in there anyway.

The worst part (arguably):

I’ve always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you.

Some presumptions here, which of course are in keeping with the Santorum schtick: women are subordinate to both men and children; the “crime” of abortion is worthy of more drivel than the crime of rape; on top of the shame of being raped, a woman is apparently going to have to live with the shame of having given up the unborn child of her rapist, so why not just have the kid, who is someone she never asked for in a million years, anyway?

Really, just wonderful stuff here. Can’t wait for TONIGHT! Which we will be live blogging, btb. [Think Progress]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 259 comments }

nounverb911 January 23, 2012 at 7:31 pm

‘Make the Best of a Bad Situation’
Is that what he told his wife seven times?

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

She had seven abortions?

mrblifil January 23, 2012 at 7:49 pm

She had one out of spite/medical necessity and six others out of boredom. They got better though.

OC_Surf_Serf January 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

…it's, at least, the number of times he accidently slipped it into her back door.

Dogless_Heathen January 23, 2012 at 8:53 pm

No, seven rapes

Tundra Grifter January 23, 2012 at 7:56 pm

"Brace yourself, Brigette."

Guppy January 23, 2012 at 8:39 pm

It's her pet name for her hip flask.

Harry_S_Truman January 23, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Easy for Ricky to say; what with his fetus fetish and all.

Barb January 23, 2012 at 7:33 pm

I bet this fucker would vote to force women to allow their rapist to name the baby too.

Harry_S_Truman January 23, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Oh, don't be silly. These guys believe in limited government.

chascates January 23, 2012 at 7:46 pm

So once that baby is born the only help he can expect will be a job in the Army if he lives to be 18.

OC_Surf_Serf January 23, 2012 at 7:49 pm

…government limited to regulate just our orifices and armed forces.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Srsly, would anything misogynistic coming from this guy — ANYthing at all — surprise you?

OneYieldRegular January 23, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Not just naming rights but visiting rights too. 'Cuz families without a father in the picture are just so, you know, deeply flawed. Will no one think of the children?

Crank_Tango January 23, 2012 at 9:41 pm

anyway, a dad in prison is better than an extra gay dad or mom, as we all know.

Swampgas_Man January 23, 2012 at 10:01 pm

No, but the rapist WILL get custody, and be able to demand child support, of course.

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Oh yeah, rape babies are such a great gift. Gah go fuck yourself you horrible douchebag.

WhatTheHeck January 23, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Likewise, a tumor growing in any man's abdomen is a gift and should be carried to full term.

Fare la Volpe January 23, 2012 at 8:01 pm

We should not interfere with God's plan.

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 8:31 pm

If a dog was to start trying to bite Santorum's dick and balls off, that would be a gift from god and he shouldn't stop it.

Swampgas_Man January 23, 2012 at 10:02 pm

MAN ON DOG LIBEL!!111

deelzebub January 23, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Abortions banned for women even if they have ectopic pregnancies (dubbed by a fellow Wonketteer as"fallopian terrorists") men can't have appendectomies. Fair is fair. God's plan is God's plan.

TLHDem January 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I had to create an account so I could comment on how amazing the phrase "fallopian terrorists" is. I feel that we should all aspire to use that in a conversation at least once a day.

Loaded_Pants January 23, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I really don't think there are many female rape victims who consider getting pregnant from the crime as a gift from God.

Seriously, there is something really fucked up about Ricky Sweater Vest.

Gleem_McShineys January 23, 2012 at 8:49 pm

I wonder if it was because his family name means 'frothy shit and lube mix'? That kind of thing will really mess you up.

doloras January 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

It's a mediaeval attitude – back in the days when having a strong son to look after you (or a good-looking fertile daughter to sell to the highest bidder) was the only old-age pension a single woman had, then a rape child might well be considered a silver lining.

And of course Frothy Mix wants to return to those Good Old Days.

Warpde January 23, 2012 at 7:35 pm

And in a room, somewhere in the deep south, there are two young women, looking, wondering,…why doesn't daddy love me?

skoalrebel January 23, 2012 at 7:35 pm

You make things better by fucking. So Senator Rick is right: turn that frown upside down by gettin' down, yo!

BerkeleyBear January 23, 2012 at 7:35 pm

But if you are the wife of a GOP hack, than whatever you choose is between you and your doctors. Emphasis on the choice.

Maman January 23, 2012 at 7:45 pm

They don't "call" it an abortion. They call it a D&C. Remember words matter to these shits and they want to control the words

johnnymeatworth January 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

"Accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way…."

He knows you should be able to return broken gifts, right? Is that why he keeps wearing those stupid sweater vests? Because he doesn't understand how a return policy works?

Generation[redacted] January 23, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Ask your family doctor where you can go to redeem your gift receipt (store credit only).

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

OK I watched the whole infuriating thing and hate this fuck more than ever now. He's also a horrible father who says he would make his daughter go through a rape pregnancy; I feel bad for those poor kids of his.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:04 pm

He *said* that? The man is mad. What kind of father does this to his own child? Holy mother of god. Abomination!

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Yep; Piers asked him to press him on his opposition to abortion for rape victims, and he said that yes he would have his own daughter have the baby. And he said it in a way that implied that, as the father, he's supposed to be in charge of all his daughters' decisions. Grr.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:42 pm

These people are so deeply and frighteningly sick. What kind of father would see their daughter injured in such an awful way and then add to that injury by forcing this abomination upon them? I'm sorry, I think I need some kind of drug, my brain is suffering some kind of infarct.

reliefsinn January 23, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I guess I can't think of much worse than forcing a 12 year old to bear a rapist's child. For perhaps the last 10 bazillion years every culture on this earth has valued the life of the mother over an unborn child, so what the fu** are these "traditional values", and where do they come from?

heathenette January 23, 2012 at 8:58 pm

A father who believes in limited government, except when it comes to women’s rights. Then it’s government control ALL the way.

OC_Surf_Serf January 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Make the Best of a Bad Situation

What if your Best is cutting off the rapist's dick?

Barb January 23, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Cut it off and toss it into a cornfield!

OC_Surf_Serf January 23, 2012 at 7:42 pm

With regards to my daughters…my best would be fixin' that boy with a dull knife.

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Don't forget to take care of the balls too.

OC_Surf_Serf January 23, 2012 at 8:00 pm

My wife said I say that so much it's going on my tombstone…

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Well … my friend's mother (they're Thai) says this is why a woman should keep a flock of ducks. Toss the, um, evidence to the ducks, problem solved.

Owie. (cringe)

Gleem_McShineys January 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

NEVER EATING DUCK AT A THAI RESTAURANT AGAIN.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I wouldn't go that far. I mean, goodness knows what else ducks and chickens and other animals eat anyway, and we eat them.

But you stick with that thought, Gleem. (Thinks: more for me, haha.)

Swampgas_Man January 23, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Your BEST would be cutting off Rick's.

chascates January 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

God gives some pretty fucking shitty gifts if you ask me.

Fare la Volpe January 23, 2012 at 7:55 pm

And I bet he's a re-gifter too. Ugh.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:06 pm

*Rick's* god does. The worshippers of Cthulhu, OTOH …

bravo_sierra January 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Wait, I thought we were all supposed to graduate from high school, get a job and get married before having children. I assume this means impregnated rape victims should marry their rapists? This policy works so well in places like Afghanistan and the Old Testament!

ifthethunderdontgetya January 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Posted at 10:20 PM ET, 01/21/2012

Santorum inspiring, Gingrich down in the dumps in South Carolina

By Jennifer Rubin

That's the War Criminal Post's own Jennifer Rubin, people.
~

Tundra Grifter January 23, 2012 at 7:57 pm

"Gingrich down in the dumps in South Carolina."

That fat fuck just can't get enough to eat…

Geosphotos January 23, 2012 at 7:39 pm

A gift from God; rapists. How quaint.

Harry_S_Truman January 23, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Every sperm is sacred.

memzilla January 23, 2012 at 8:04 pm

If that's the case…. I am so going to hell for my teenage years.

natoslug January 23, 2012 at 8:18 pm

I'm going to hell for my adult years as well.

Swampgas_Man January 23, 2012 at 10:06 pm

If every sperm is sacred, the carpet by my Internetz is holier than the shroud of Turin.

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Well Mary didn't exactly consent to god; Jesus was a rape baby.

MissTaken January 23, 2012 at 8:01 pm

To be fair, Mary was asking for it wearing that short skirt.

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 8:30 pm

And she might have even been drinking the night god implanted her; totally her fault.

starfanglednut January 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm

And what was she doing in that neighborhood after dark? Huh?

CapnFatback January 23, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Sure, God sent them around the same time as those other gifts: rapists, locusts, boils, the deaths of the firstborn . . .

WhatTheHeck January 23, 2012 at 7:39 pm

You don't have a womb and you have never carried an unborn for 9 months. Until you do, STFU.

CapnFatback January 23, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape

The only more horrible way to have the gift of a child thrust upon you? Sex with Rick Santorum.

Dudleydidwrong January 23, 2012 at 10:14 pm

You know, that thought alone could cause lunch and dinner to again see the light of day.

Bluestatelibel January 23, 2012 at 7:42 pm

I don't what's more horrifying, the odious Santorum, or what's happening TONIGHT and is going to be live blogged. What IS happening tonight? The End Times?

edgydrifter January 23, 2012 at 7:42 pm

To Santorum, being cursed with a vagina is "a bad situation." That a man–any man–would bless a lady with his miracle baby wand is proof of God's mercy. "Rape" is just secular legalese for a man struggling valiantly against a woman's sinful resistance to the natural order of things.

BarackMyWorld January 23, 2012 at 7:43 pm
Fare la Volpe January 23, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Was just watching that on Tweety. She also said that he had no right to be President and should be arrested.

BarackMyWorld January 23, 2012 at 8:45 pm

I almost felt bad for Ricky (not really) not wanting to offend a supporter but probably thinking "Oh my God you're fucking insane."

Chichikovovich January 23, 2012 at 9:03 pm

And remarkably enough, when the lady who was asking Santorum about arresting Obama, Obama being a Muslim, etc saw Rick's defence of rape as a gift from God if it results in a sweet lil' baby, she was thinking exactly the same thing.

Dudleydidwrong January 23, 2012 at 10:21 pm

I wouldn't bet the family jewels on that. I've met too many women in this time of hate who seem to have forgotten their lives as young, pregnant or new mothers and, having drunk the Kool-Aid of these bastards now want to turn on the younger generation. Both Santorum and the questioning woman are fucking insane, probably in the same ways.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 12:38 am

That is giving that douchebag FAR too much credit, particularly after seeing this video. Let's stop pretending.

memzilla January 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

The first thing about Santorum's world view that comes to mind is a rape victim nailed to a cross and breaking into "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life."

hollywooddood January 23, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Anyway, I do look forward to seeing Rick on Dancing with the Stars next year.

nounverb911 January 23, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I look forward to seeing Rick on "Juggling Chain Saws" next year.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I look forward to seeing Rick on the lip of a volcano, screaming, as he loses his balance and falls to the molten lava 200 feet below.

(Offstage: Aw, fuck, I'm gonna need a truss …)

MosesInvests January 23, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Precioussssssssssssss…………!

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:47 pm

With extra hissssssss.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 23, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Wow — God sure is generous, leaving "gifts" all over the Congo and Somalia.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:18 pm

It's times like these when I remember exactly why I cannot believe in god.

deelzebub January 23, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Plus, all those tween girls in Ethiopia with fistulas. http://www.fistulafoundation.org/whatisfistula/

coolhandnuke January 23, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Santorum is do detached, clueless and isolated from reality that he believes rape is a difficult consensual and blessed sexual act–not a forcible heinous act of violence.

EatsBabyDingos January 23, 2012 at 7:45 pm

A splintery, shattered vase up his ass would be a gift in a very broken way, and a gift I am willing to give him. Again and again.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Perhaps I could assist in this endeavour in some way. Kneeling on the small of his back? Hog-tying him like the misogynistic swine that he is?

chascates January 23, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Interesting piece on tonight's PBS Newshour. USAID is helping the Path Foundation in the Philippines to distribute birth control to rural communities, enabling families to have less children. Instead of 12 children many couples now have 4 or even 2, with the result that the family can eat 3 meals a day. With larger families this is often impossible.
The Catholic Church is against this of course and GOP stalwarts such as Rape Ricky will do whatever they can to see this financial aid is dropped.
We know the right hates gayz, coloredz, poorz, and oldz. It takes a special type of evil stupidity to want children in developing countries to starve, though. Charles Dickens would feel at home writing in twenty-first century America.

imissopus January 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Don't tell Tim Tebow about this.

johnnyzhivago January 23, 2012 at 7:55 pm

The more kids these thirdworld countries have, the more drone target practice humanoids we get – win win!

Tundra Grifter January 23, 2012 at 7:59 pm

I believe St. Mother Teresa was thoroughly opposed to any sort of birth control. And, of course, abortion – even if the woman's father was the father of the child.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:21 pm

That wretched heartless bitch was also thoroughly opposed to medical care — even palliative care — for the children she "rescued." Her sole purpose was to baptise more souls for her monstrous god. She didn't care if those children suffered and/or died, once their souls had been saved.

Nostrildamus January 24, 2012 at 12:29 am

… once their souls had been saved collected.

Fixed.

MittBorg January 24, 2012 at 2:30 am

Thank you. You're correct, of course.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 12:41 am

I saw it, and the complete lack of even the basic understanding of demographic trends by the so-called archbishop they interviewed was cringe-worthy. The Philippines is already a tiny nation without nearly enough land to support the population, and already importing most of its main food items. Imagine if a trade war was to break out. That nation would be through.

Harry_S_Truman January 23, 2012 at 7:46 pm

You know what? Fuck the snark; this man's fetus zeal is nothing less than criminal.

Dudleydidwrong January 23, 2012 at 10:26 pm

And sick–real, total, complete sick.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 23, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Give Santorum some credit. Just imagine what would have happened if Mary had aborted her baby after God raped her?

Chichikovovich January 23, 2012 at 8:01 pm

He would have been back in the womb three days later.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

You got me on that one.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 12:42 am

Zing!

Nobody puts Baby (Jesus) in the corner.

OC_Surf_Serf January 23, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Christians would wear a little gold coat-hanger on their necklace…

edgydrifter January 23, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Well, there'd be a lot fewer people getting trampled to death at Wal-Mart while celebrating the reason for the season.

oldmayfly January 24, 2012 at 6:46 am

Jesus' birth, according to the Bible, is an example of planned parenthood.

HelmutNewton January 24, 2012 at 11:23 am

We'd all be speaking Arabic right now?

ManchuCandidate January 23, 2012 at 7:47 pm

New Santorum Numba One hit: "Always Look On the Bright Side of Rape!"

The key to your electability, Ricky? Shutting the Fuck up.

Beetagger January 23, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Santorum is no friend of the huge fetus jar industry in this country. JOBS!!!

BklynIlluminati January 23, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Who knew Santorum was into Sharia Law

nounverb911 January 23, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Otherwise known as the "Ten Commandments".

CommieLibunatic January 23, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Same desert death god, different name.

unclejeems January 23, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Jehovallah.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 12:44 am

Sounds Yiddish.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Even Sharia law does not condone rape or forced birth.

LesBontemps January 23, 2012 at 8:29 pm

And most Muslim interpretations permit abortion.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 23, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Between Piers Morgan and Rick Santorum, you would think they would need to bleach the whole room after the interview.

mrblifil January 23, 2012 at 7:50 pm

This is going out on a limb but it sure strikes me that the only type of person who could make such a callous observation would be someone who's given rape a try or two…

BarackMyWorld January 23, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I'll say it again….government so small it'll fit in your uterus.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

You know who else was all in favor of pregnancies caused by rape?

Fare la Volpe January 23, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Rapists?

chascates January 23, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Randall Terry?

ifthethunderdontgetya January 23, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Rome?
~

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Zeus?

Biel_ze_Bubba January 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Win!

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Ceaucescu. And those children suffered for decades and suffer still.

smashaduck January 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

I have no words. No I do. Fuck you, you fucking, fuck-witted fuck!

Fare la Volpe January 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

"Shut up and eat your cyanide."

johnnyzhivago January 23, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Message to Santorum: Change your Cellphone Voicemail Password fast!!!

Swampgas_Man January 23, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Is his password rape or fetus?

Biel_ze_Bubba January 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm

"To get a brain, press 5 now."
"To remain a fucking idiot, press 6 now."

imissopus January 23, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Well, sure. It's the logical extension of Clayton Williams back in 1990 saying that if rape is inevitable, the woman should just lie back and enjoy it. Of course, he claimed he was joking. Twenty years later, guys like Ricky won't even pretend to be doing that.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 23, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Santorum is a little bit more nuanced. He believes if a women is raped, she should lie back and think that God might make it all right by giving her a little baby to remind her of the rapist always.

imissopus January 23, 2012 at 8:02 pm

And what if that rape baby turns out to be the Messiah? What a relief that would be for the poor rape victim.

Fare la Volpe January 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Or better yet, a pro-football player!

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Or a rapist.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:24 pm

You know, he's a lawyer. He's an educated person. Educated enough to know that he is conniving at crime. What kind of conscience does this man have, if any, that he is willing to lie for a small temporal gain?

Biel_ze_Bubba January 24, 2012 at 6:12 am

He keeps his conscience in a jar, too.

Operalala January 24, 2012 at 9:28 am

So someone gets him to actually prosecute rapist, who goes to prison. Oh, wait, that's better than…

Texan_Bulldog January 23, 2012 at 7:55 pm

"…but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you." Utterly.Despicable! News flash to Rick: Boys/men can also get raped. Or is that okay since life can't get created?

elfgoldsackring January 23, 2012 at 9:07 pm

No life, but possibly a beautiful gift of santorum.

Sue4466 January 23, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Why is it that the "accept what God has given to you" only applies to rape victims and poor people?

memzilla January 23, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Because if they were worthy of G-d's Infinite Mercy™, they wouldn't have had such sh***y luck in the first place. Q.E.D.

DustBowlBlues January 23, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Because they skip the gospels.

Swampgas_Man January 23, 2012 at 10:12 pm

The Rich & Powerful are always willing to accept what G*d has given them, plus a little more.

memzilla January 23, 2012 at 7:57 pm

By Santorum's reasoning, if he were ass-raped sideways by a rusty chainsaw, the doctor would be allowed to staunch the bleeding, but Rick would have to live with the resulting prolapsed rectum.

"Prolapsed Rectum" is an excellent moniker for Ricky Boy. Let's use it in a sentence: "Speaking before a crowd of his evangelical supporters, Rick 'Prolapsed Rectum' Santorum said…"

It scans well, doncha think?

unclejeems January 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Prolapse Ricky. The Prolapsolator. Rickasoid the Prolapsolator.

SayItWithWookies January 23, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Well at least Rick Santorum is consistent — he doesn't believe in aborting fashion mistakes either.

GregComlish January 23, 2012 at 7:59 pm

When life gives you fetuses …

Fare la Volpe January 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Make punch.

Barrelhse January 23, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Make mungcicles.

SayItWithWookies January 23, 2012 at 8:30 pm

…beat into soft peaks and make a meringue?

DustBowlBlues January 23, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Throw them at Rick.

imissopus January 23, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Shut up and carry them to term.

vtxmcrider January 23, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Kill them and sleep with them.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 24, 2012 at 6:14 am

And make your kids pose for pictures with them.

fuflans January 24, 2012 at 1:17 am

you should have more p's for this.

BornInATrailer January 24, 2012 at 9:56 am

Make a new stem cell line for study?

DrOzarkZ.Hellbender January 23, 2012 at 8:00 pm

What is this, Mandatory Pregnancy Monday?

EatsBabyDingos January 23, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Santorum is like a hand job from a bald eagle: disgusting.

Negligently_Joe January 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm

accept what God has given to you

God has given you a rape-pregnancy. Ergo, God== a rapist? Some fucking theology, there.

BornInATrailer January 24, 2012 at 9:58 am

Duh. You think Mary was asking for it?

Well, she sort of was.. with that long simple cloth peasant skirt… oohh.. *shudder*

CommieLibunatic January 23, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I've heard that one of the worst ways to be tortured is with everyday items. That way, if you're unfortunate enough to survive, just seeing something as innocent as a soda bottle would remind you of your suffering.

I can't imagine what it would be like if that subject of anguish was an otherwise innocent child conceived by rape/incest. And neither can former Senator Buttjuice, apparently.

Chichikovovich January 23, 2012 at 8:07 pm

When he's doing his anti-gay marriage spiel (because remember – it's not about hating anyone, it's about the definition of marriage, yahaha..) Rick dismisses gay parenting by calling it terrible thing to deny a child the presence of both their mother and father. It harms the child, donchaknow?

So I'm expecting that he'll soon be calling for women who were raped to marry the rapists, for the children.

Callyson January 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

No snark, just rage:
FUCK YOU SANTORUM!
Oh, and God says fuck you too for implying that God "gave" women the experience of being raped and then impregnated.
Also–FUCK YOU SANTORUM!

AlterNewt January 23, 2012 at 8:17 pm

My God. He's one of the 'serious' candidates.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 24, 2012 at 6:19 am

At least this way, we know the extent of our Taliban Xtard problem, and can take preventive measures.

Redhead January 23, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Hay ladies, when a man decides to give you the gift of his baby-makin juices, just accept it – don't make up high-falutin' names like "rape."

Jerri January 23, 2012 at 8:17 pm

We'll never be lucky enough to have this frothy dumbfuck as the GOP nominee, will we.

Spurning Beer January 23, 2012 at 8:21 pm

It could still happen, Jerri. Nobody ever went broke underestimating the frothiness of the American public.

MissNancyPriss January 23, 2012 at 8:21 pm

I dunno, maybe. Stop overestimating the gop.

Jerri January 23, 2012 at 8:24 pm

You and SP above make good points. I almost want to donate to Ol' Rick to keep the dream alive, but I assume the involuntary projectile vomiting that my body would put me through while attempting to do so would be something of a hindrance.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 23, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Ah, don't worry. Comedy evangelical billionaire Foster Freiss will make sure El Froth has all the rape-tokens he needs.

Jerri January 24, 2012 at 9:03 am

Wow. That's just scary.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 23, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Gingrich/Santorum 2012

The perfect storm of fail.

MissNancyPriss January 23, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Fetus trumps adult woman. Or, I guess, any female of child bearing age, including but not limited to 13 year old girls.

Chichikovovich January 23, 2012 at 8:23 pm

There's so much that's disgusting in this clip that it's easy to pass by another revolting Santorism: Couldn't the pregnancy ruin her life? Well, killing her child might ruin her life too!

Another one of those wingnut lies that they repeat to one another so incessantly that they've lost touch with just what bullshit it is. Look, douchebag: It is true that there are women who look back on their abortions with heartbreak. But apart from the women who convert to your nutty worldview and then get bombarded with your loathsome message until they start to consume themselves with self-hatred, such cases are very, very very rare.

I know dozens of women who have had abortions. Dozens. Not one of them has ever expressed the slightest hint of regret, and every one regards the decision as having been obviously the correct one. The idea that any of them would have one seconds hesitation or regret over choosing to abort the non-baby of a rapist would be laughable were it not such a somber topic.

So get this straight, Ayatollah: Women do not have their lives wrecked by having abortions unless people like you do the wrecking. You have absolutely no concern for the women involved at all: you want women who have had abortions to be consumed by self-lacerating guilt, because it fits the fantasy you want to weave.

I repeat: women consuming themselves with self-lacerating guilt is not something that typically happens in the ordinary course of things. It is something that people like you desperately want, and something you do your best to bring about for the sad cases that fall under your psychological sway. That is all.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 9:05 pm

You have a daughter, don't you? She's a lucky girl.

Jukesgrrl January 23, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I, too, know dozens of women who have had abortions. One of them did suffer extreme (and I would say displaced, given her circumstances) grief and regret over her decision. In the resulting depression, she became an evangelical Christian, dropped out of college, joined the right-to-life movement, and abandoned all the friends who had stood by her in her hour of need … because we were sinners.

As far as I'm concerned she had a break with reality. In part caused by the shame so many in our society attach to abortion and exacerbated by the sperm donor who dumped her because this was all too icky for him. Decades later she remains quite unhinged. I curse Rick Santorum and all Americans who attempt to force their personal beliefs on people — especially young, impressionable women — they don't even know. Had my friend had a legal abortion (they weren't at the time she did it), appropriate follow-up care, and perhaps a sensitive therapist, I suspect she would be a contributing member of society today. But Rick would much prefer what you appropriately call her "self-lacerating guilt."

fuflans January 24, 2012 at 1:36 am

this makes me so sad. i came of age after abortion was legal and never had to fight for this freedom, but still, i know many women who had them. i don't know a one who regrets it.

time to reprise the 'i had an abortion' t-shirt.

LetUsBray January 23, 2012 at 10:10 pm

"Women do not have their lives wrecked by having abortions unless people like you do the wrecking. "

Deserves to be repeated, well, repeatedly.

unclejeems January 23, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Well said, sir, well said.

fartknocker January 23, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I'm sure Rick and the Duggars have wonderful conversations about children, religion and the reproductive rights of women.

ElPinche January 23, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Good lord…and this moran is the GOP front runner?

I don't give a shit what anyone says, it's Obama 2012 .

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I'm tellin' ya. Even the RWNJ "journalists" and bloggers are saying that, at this point. Let's not get overconfident, and let's all still work hard, but every time one of these dumb fucks opens their mouth, it's like another increment of Obama 2012.

chascates January 23, 2012 at 8:37 pm

if anyone cares to watch tonight's Idiotfest there are livestreams on NBCNews.com, NationalJournal.com TampaBay.com.

PBS has a Phil Ochs documentary tonight so I think that's a better waste of my time.

James Michael Curley January 23, 2012 at 8:55 pm

The PHIL OCHS documentary is depressing. First because of Phil's suicide and next because what was so real was so long ago. We have become vegetables.

chascates January 23, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Great to her his music, but as you said, depressing.

Biff January 23, 2012 at 8:40 pm

More bastard children for the gop to look down on, hurray!

WinterOuthouse January 23, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I can't stand this son of a bitch!

Naked_Bunny January 23, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Did Santorum just equate rape with delivering a present?

'Cuz now I have to rethink the whole Santa Claus idea.

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 9:01 pm

This hateful asshole practically has me wishing Santa Clause would give him a gift, in his ass, if you know what I mean.

Naked_Bunny January 23, 2012 at 11:17 pm

If it involves reindeer antlers, then yes, I do.

Dashboard Buddha January 23, 2012 at 8:48 pm

"accept what God has given to you."

This is possibly one of the most hateful things I have ever read.

Guppy January 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

According to my Bible:

Murder–death
Manslaughter–death
Incest–death
Bestiality–death
Adultery*–death
Blasphemy–death
Hating on your parents–death

Inducing a miscarriage–civil fine

Are we even looking at the same book?

*(Fornication is "shotgun marriage")

Chichikovovich January 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm

So the Bible states that abortion is, by a huge margin, not as bad as gathering sticks on the Sabbath (punished by death by stoning, at God's command (Numbers 15:32-36)?

We'll have to let Rick know God's valuation right away – boy, will his face be red.

Guppy January 23, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Hell, the Old Testament pretty much just shrugs its shoulders at exposure. Apostasy means death, but infanticide is "meh."

MosesInvests January 23, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Umm, care to give a reference for that?

Guppy January 23, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Blameless Job wishes his mother had exposed him at Job 3:16 and wasn't instantly stoned for cursing her. God's own actions were likened to exposure in Psalm 58.

And then there's the cannibalism pact in 2 Kings 6:28, where two starving women agreed to eat each others' sons, and neither was instantly stoned.

MosesInvests January 23, 2012 at 9:54 pm

BTW, involuntary manslaughter=exile.
Flagrant negligence resulting in manslaughter=death.
Just to be clear.

ttommyunger January 23, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I'm looking at a double-edged combat dagger with a seven inch blade and wondering if Little Ricky would accept it, repeatedly, as a gift from God.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 9:09 pm

He'd probably faint if you mentioned that he might be penetrated by a whole seven inches.

ttommyunger January 23, 2012 at 9:20 pm

“Swoon” might be the more accurate term.

slowhansolo January 23, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Perhaps spray. As in arterial…

ttommyunger January 23, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Chubbing up again.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Quick, get the man his fainting couch.

ttommyunger January 23, 2012 at 10:58 pm

…,and smelling salts.

smashedinhat January 23, 2012 at 8:54 pm

I recommend re-reading God Is Not Great. It's the only way I can get my game face on when I have to deal with these sinister fucks. Religion poisons everything!

doloras January 23, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Yeah, hateful religious bigots like Martin Luther King should have been taken out and shot.

smashedinhat January 23, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I don't think MLK was pushing religion as a way of controlling others. He was playing with his toys and not pushing his religious toy on anyone who didn't want to play, as Christopher Hitchens has said. Full blown atheist here.

Edited to address the comment below

Naked_Bunny January 23, 2012 at 11:19 pm

That poor strawman!

Chichikovovich January 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Let's not go overboard. Like any complex network of social institutions and traditions, Religions can be shaped in many different ways. In the hands of cruel people who bind themselves together in their hatefulness, it can multiply their inhumanity a hundredfold. But when lived by profoundly good people with genuine love in their hearts for others, it can foster actions and attitudes of profound goodness.

smashedinhat January 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Note to self; This is what happens when you don't inject enough snark in the original post.

James Michael Curley January 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Does btb mean bring the booze? Cause I'm primed.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I'm with you. Semi-alcoholic wonkette posters are people too etc and so on.

STUNT LIVER, ACTIVATE!

upthruster January 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Hey thanks Dad! Thanks for making me carry and deliver this bastard child so you won't be embarrassed by me. Yeah, nothing says I love my daughter more than forcing her to walk around for nine months with some freak's spawn in her belly so YOU won't be judged by the public. Thanks Dad. Every time I see this child I'll be reminded of what a fucker you were to me when I needed you most….. And I'll send you nine months worth of dirty diapers on Father's Day as my special gift to remind you how much I suffered for you and your career. Thanks Dad, you're such a gooooood goooood person in the eyes of God.

Biff January 23, 2012 at 9:05 pm

This same line of thought worked so well for Sharrrrron Angle!

Lemonade, y'all.

DustBowlBlues January 23, 2012 at 9:06 pm

This asshole instead of liveblog? Now I AM furious. Why didn't he sing, "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again–with the opposite of a love child"

I hate this douchebag so totally, I wish I had that 4 week old ball of mucous that the doctor sucked out of my uterus so I could throw it at Santorum.

Jukesgrrl January 23, 2012 at 9:08 pm

The Wonkeratti sometimes say, "Snark is beyond me." This is a case where WORDS are beyond me.

ThundercatHo January 23, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I was a nurse at a "women's health clinic" for a couple of years. Sometimes we cared for the victims of rape and incest. The tissue went to a lab for dna analysis to help convict the "giver of the gift" as Rick would call them. But, all the women who came there had to pass a line of horrible anti-choice fundies and lunatics. One day, a regular broke the rules and got into the building and followed my co-workers and I to the elevator shrieking her vile recriminations the whole way. I was lucky that my friends grabbed me and pulled me into the closing elevator because I was about to lose my shit. If I am ever so unlucky as to be in the same place as Rick Santorum, please, just let me go.

DustBowlBlues January 23, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Somewhat off-topic, but why hasn't the RICOH (sp??? never seen it spelled out) used to prosecute the criminals who identify, online, the doctors and nurses that deserve to be murdered–to preserve life. I'm assuming the SPLC has tried. Haven't they?

DustBowlBlues January 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Ho hum. The debate is boring so far. I was hoping Newt would've paid a mugger to punch out Brian Williams.

poorgradstudent January 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm

In my dreams, Joe Paterno's ghost drags Santorum down to Hell.

WiscDad January 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm

What a sick fuck…If I were not a good Christian, I would wish it on his family…oh wait…that's how HE was brought to be

slowhansolo January 23, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Look well upon the face of evil, and remember. True evil. A rare dose of the old stuff. It's here among us wearing a dorky sweater vest and running for president. Fuck.

Steverino247 January 23, 2012 at 9:47 pm

While I'm no expert in the subject of rape, I was a volunteer for a year at the rape crisis outreach center in town. This meant I went to the ER with another volunteer (a female, obviously) after hours to offer support, referrals for counseling and to be with the families if they showed up, too.

The first case I had was a Mexican national who was working as a maid in town. The rapist was caught in the act by police (great job, guys!) and brought to the ER, too, for drawing fluid samples for evidence. The rapist had used his penis, fingers, twigs he found on the ground, anything, to penetrate the victim while all the time telling her he loved her. The alleged rapist? An African-American Baptist minister who sat there perplexed at what was happening.

So, I guess it would have been "a gift from God" had the nurse forgotten to give the victim a "morning after" type medication, which was standard in 1982. The victim recovered, testified against the rapist (other volunteers were present in the Court for support) who got 20 years in prison.

Assholes like Santorum have no idea what rape is, but instead have a need to punish a woman having "sex," even when it's "sex" as a weapon to harm her. The idea of "life" resulting is just a dodge.

Designer_Rants January 23, 2012 at 10:00 pm

So when Santorum said "Make the best of a bad situation," was he talking to rape victims or Republican primary voters?

lalmagor January 23, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Listen, I hate Santorum and love abortion as much as the next DC-area leftist teacher, but can we possibly save the OMG FACE for the actually completely insane things that he says? That way we can distinguish between the actually completely insane (e.g. the claim that gay marriage is equivalent to dog marriage) and that with which we simply disagree (e.g. the belief that a fetus is a fully human life, in which case what he's saying falls under the heading of "hard but morally necessary opinions.")

Again, for the low readers among us: I'm pro-choice and I don't think a fetus is a person. But thinking a fetus is a person doesn't seem like enough all by itself to merit all the ??s and !!s.

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 10:51 pm

But "the belief that a fetus is a fully human life" is completely insane, and contradicted by biology and our knowledge of fetal development.

poorgradstudent January 23, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Sorry, but "rape victims should be forced to carry their pregnancies to term" is sure as fucking fuck not something I can politely disagree with. It doesn't even begin to go into "Obama's health insurance plan is more practical than a socialized health care plan" territory for me; instead it's totally and without doubt in the same category as "Slavery ought to be seriously reevaluated as a labor option" and "The American economy can be revitalized by invading Britain and declaring Obama its rightful monarch."

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 12:49 am

You've got some fucked up priorities. Really, that's all I need to say. Go lecture on RedState if you'd like.

UW8316154 January 23, 2012 at 10:31 pm

But then wouldn't she become a single mother?

Dudleydidwrong January 23, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Rick's statement is simply the logical continuation of his theology which believes that god is the ultimate micro-manager who causes everything to happen. Santorum is a religious neurotic trapped in his own demented beliefs. Pat Robertson and his ilk preach this shit all the time (Katrina caused by gays; Haitian earthquake caused by their religion, etc.)

Rick is trapped in his own juices because if he doesn't believe that rape-caused babies are gifts of god his whole theology crumbles. He's a dick, dork, frothy asshole. But in his own way he's true to his beliefs, which are worth a steaming pile of dog crap, and he's a dog proud of the pile he's just dumped.

subsum January 23, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Even if the "bad situation" was brought to Sally Mae by her drunken uncle Jethro, right? Oh, wait. That only works in Arkansas. Sorry about that.

sailingthestyx January 23, 2012 at 11:05 pm

not to mention that the child will likely have the same set of abnormal genes that daddy had…you know, the one's that made him a rapist…what a joy to raise…

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 12:22 am

Ummm, Santorum? I don't think an "It Gets Better" campaign is at all appropriate for the situation of rape in which a child is born, okay? Yeah, just STFU.

Left_Leftie January 24, 2012 at 1:02 am

He said it in the end " I can't think of anything more horrible" Yet the possible by product of what he considers the worst possible thing EVER is somehow a GIFT???!!!! Christians are CRAZY!

tealsheart January 24, 2012 at 1:40 am

Why the devil is god raping women? When god does it, I guess there's nothing to do but accept it…

Men, don't think you're off the hook, god is equalOpportunist

Bonghits4Jesus January 24, 2012 at 1:50 am

Santorum should make the best of a bad situation and officially change his name to "Rick Frothy Mixture of Lube and Fecal Matter".
http://spreadingsantorum.com/

SaintRond January 24, 2012 at 7:51 am

All this because his wife banged a geriatric doctor who performed abortion procedures before they even fucking met? Jesus, this guy is one sick and obsessive bastard. And has anyone noticed that grimace that passes for a smile is identical to the guy who shot all those people from that bell tower in Texas back in the 60's?

BZ1 January 24, 2012 at 9:43 am

when another deranged "fan" called out the Muslim, Santorum had his chance to rise above the santorum … but no

JustPixelz January 24, 2012 at 9:59 am

The Go-Pee'ers love life in the womb and will do anything to protect it. Once the child is born they turn their back. Food stamps? WIC? Schools? That's socialism.

AND, why don't they have the same devotion to protecting life when it's Iraqi civilians. Or Afghani civilians.

AND, why do they cheer the death penalty? (Jesus was against the death penalty, especially toward the end.)

Biel_ze_Bubba January 31, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Orwell had a name for it: doublethink.

It's how murderous bastards call their country "Democratic Republic of Fuckistan" with a straight face, and how Xtards gladly kill for Jesus.

carlgt1 January 24, 2012 at 10:05 am

yup, when life hands you a rape lemon, make rape juice!

gizdal January 24, 2012 at 11:08 am

if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

Chet Kincaid January 24, 2012 at 11:09 am

But if the rapist is blah, things can be handled quickly and discreetly, in a red state that still has scrape-docs, if the family has enough money and connections. Jesus is not entirely unreasonable!

Wonderthing January 24, 2012 at 11:24 am

Yes, when life hands you rape, make..er…Rape-onade!

BornInATrailer January 24, 2012 at 11:39 am

You go to delivery ward with the rape baby you have, not the baby you wish you had.

io9k9s January 24, 2012 at 11:56 am

Given Santorum's choice of words in that segment, I find myself wondering about the circumstances of his own children's conception…

Jeapordy Guest: Alex, I'll take Common Phrases for a thousand….
Alex: There we find a daily Double, how much do you wager?
Jeapordy Guest: All of it Alex, 21,000…
Alex: OK, for 21,000 , Common Phrases…."Take it Bitch (slut,whore,cunt)!"
(instant response)Jeapordy Guest: Phrases screamed before conception at the Rick Santorum Household!!!
Alex: That is Correct… your total goes to 42,000. Ah, I am told We also would have accepted 'Phrases commonly used by rapists…'. Thank you panel.

pinkoschminko January 24, 2012 at 12:14 pm

That's right, ladies, accept God's gift of rapist semen!

Troglodeity January 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I'm surprised he didn't say "When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade!"

CommieLibunatic January 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I'd rather find a way to make a bomb out of lemons. Or maybe just a grenade, like a lemon-grenade… a lemon-ade if you wil- wait…

SorosBot January 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm

They come from a place of deep hatred of women and loathing at the idea that they could actually be treated as real human beings with personal rights, rather than as property of a man (first the father, then the husband) whose only uses are for the man to fuck for his own pleasure (not hers; these douches would never go down on a woman) and to make his babies.

MittBorg January 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Excellent point. In most human cultures, a child is not considered "human" or part of the tribe until a certain age, as marked by a ceremony. We see this, for example, in the christening ceremony among Christians, where babies are first given the names by which they will henceforth be known, and the naming ceremonies of the Hindus. All of these take place some months after the child has successfully made its bid for life. In some cultures with a high incidence of infant mortality, children are not given proper names until a year or more after their birth.

DustBowlBlues January 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm

I think the most deeply conflicted about their manhood are men like Rick. Like White Trash in the south, they need to think someone is beneath. Wimps like Rick have to have a woman to order around so they feel manly.

Men have such lame egos, anyway. We had a kind of wimpy friend who was in the opposite direction of Rick, politically, who went to a "men's retreat" where they used hand tools to make firewood and shared a drum circle. All in pursuit of their masculinity.

Like Promise Keepers. What would people think if a woman had to attend a pep rally to work up their zeal to make dinner for their family?

MosesInvests January 23, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Wishing you had been murdered by your mother because you're miserable isn't the same as a legal tolerance for child murder.
As far as the cannibalism pact, eating already dead humans when you're starving is not a capital offense by any reading of Biblical Law. Killing them to eat them, OTOH, would be. Presumably, if the women were guilty of murder, the king might have had more to worry about in a siege, but might have done something about it later.

Negropolis January 24, 2012 at 12:46 am

…and a fresh towel. Santorum clean up is messy.

Guppy January 24, 2012 at 1:09 am

Wishing your mother had committed the mortal sin of murder sounds like it would fall under "cursing one's mother," itself a mortal sin. Not exactly the behavior one would expect of a prophet.

And if the babies to be eaten were already dead, they'd be "unclean," regardless of whether they're truly considered humans or merely animals. At that point, you're probably better off eating bacon. And I can't think of too many instances in the Old Testament where a character did something so presumably sinful without getting some sort of retribution, divine or otherwise. Though maybe they'd not yet developed the idea of personal (rather than national) accountability…

(Hell, I find it interesting that they were specifically talking about eating their sons, which is presumably worse than eating one's daughters…)

At any rate, I'm still not finding the "Every sperm is sacred" passage, just a whole bunch of stuff about not fucking over the poor, who could probably stand to have some contraception…

Biel_ze_Bubba January 24, 2012 at 6:10 am

Sounds like a brand of hummus.

ttommyunger January 24, 2012 at 7:52 am

Thank you for that mental picture (dry heaves uncontrollably).

HateMachine January 24, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Compared to being a misogynist shitbag or having a goddamn drum circle retreat, I feel a shit-ton better about asserting my masculinity by beating other mens' asses at vidya games.

Is it still a lame ego thing? Probably, but it beats being a douche and it's certainly no dorkier than a Men's Retreat.

P.S.: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12022010

Biel_ze_Bubba January 31, 2012 at 12:27 pm

The Bible lets the kiddies be born — and then has them killed if they diss a prophet.

I think Rick Perry and his TexTard supporters hew pretty close to the Good Book on this particular subject.

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