Glen Shulfer is an authentic, honest-to-god supporter of Wisconsin Governorish Scott Walker, but he is a musician first, and by first we mean, Oh my word, this guy has written songs: “Dog Bone Blues,” “You Never Do What I Say” and “Hidden Princess” are the titles of just three of Shulfer’s too, too many compositions, many of which sadly are not available on his website except in title form. What better way to honor victim of justice Walker than to write the man a song? Shulfer, in a local Wisconsin radio interview, says he’s been a fan of politics since he was “a young little boy,” and considers himself like, a hipster Scott Walker supporter: he was a fan of the guy before anyone else seemed to be, and endured a lot of adversity in showing his support. He was heckled and bullied by Walker haters “almost to the point of touching,” he says. The horror. This song, “Stand With Scott Walker,” should teach ‘em.
Shulfer’s Muppets/Journey/Manilowe-eque ballad of course has a video of boring pictures of Scott Walker existing and sporting dyed hair the color of eggplant. It also features some serious vocal runs, a reference to Sisyphus, elementary rhyming (“Scott Walker”/”not a big fancy talker”) and pushy declarations like:
We got to keep moving ahead
All the way
With Governor Walker
By the second verse, he’s already lowering expectations:
He took on the deficit
And asked the union folks to pay
Just a teeny tiny bit
To make it fair in every way
Just a teeny tiny bit. If this isn’t enough to get you in the spirit, there is another, better/worst of all and thematically similar number called “Union Man.” [AV Club]
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And by "status quo" he means lions. Deadly, sexy lions. Rawrrr!
Needs more Woody Guthrie.
Needs more Chuck Barris
Needs more Gong Show.
Needs MOAR banging about the head and shoulders with a Very Large Array of gongs.
And cowbells. More cowbell.
Needs more woodies.
and Pete Seeger
Argh … needs more internet blackout.
Hillary4U&Me thinks this song is shit.
I love Hilz, but that song is one full on overdose of sugary sweet. Argh.
I don't like that song either, but it doesn't come close to this paean to awfulness.
Vote for Governor Sisyphus. Always fighting those uphill battles against rights.
He's standing 10 feet to from Ashland to Monroe? God those lyrics are awful. Agh Liz you are hurting us.
Srsly. I'm thinking of putting out a contract on her, after this. Although we'll miss her writing.
Gaaah, any cheesier and it would need an FDA label.
"Sing cheese or die?"
Hey, cmon, it's Wisconsin. What'd you expect?
Stand up against the wall with the Governor (m-F**ker).
Sorry Scott.. but you haven't had gen-u-ine fandom inflicted upon you by amaturd songwriters until you've had Battle Hymn of the Republic mashed up into tin-ear dregs of fawning word-salad reflux, i.e. worthy only of Her Highness Lou Sarah.
You know I love you. You absolutely know that. But after that HORRENDOUS video, I am so not fucking clicking on that link, Mumbletypeg. SO NOT!!!
(runs screaming out of the room)
Fine then, recruit this fucking twerp to sing "Nearer My God to Thee" when the neo-Jacobins frog-march Walker to the front of the firing squad.
One song that invariably lifts my spirits whenever I'm troubled or despairing is the live version of "Nearer to Thee" sung by Sam Cooke and the Soul Stirrers at the 1955 Shrine concert. I'm listening to it right now, to wash the strains of Mr. Shulfer's creation from my consciousness. And I assure you, if that no-talent weed-voiced wingnut should ever soil that song by singing it in my presence he'll be dead before he completes two bars.
That is a beautiful performance, but did Sam Cooke ever do anything in front of a microphone that wasn't at least 500% better than anyone else could do?
Sam Cooke was a once-in-a-lifetime voice and musical talent, that's true. But even by his high standards those three songs in the Shrine concert are transcendent. The performance of "I Have a Friend Above all Others" is, to my taste, even better. The call and response with Paul Foster on "Be With me Jesus" is a revelation too – I love the way their voices contrast on the Soul Stirrers studio recordings, but this live performance they're pushing each other to a burning intensity that goes beyond anything in the studio.
I don't think he's gonna get the chicks with this songwriting thing.
He doesn't need chicks when he has Jesus.
and Governor Walker
Is that Consuela's little boy?
I thought that was Diabeeto.
He'd fuckin' better have Jesus, cos he sure as hell ain't gettin' nothing else, not with that shit.
Cuz I went through a singer-songwriter phase in the 70s-80s and that was the only reason for doing it.
To make it fair in every way? So he asked the bazillionaire's to pay too? Oh, that's taxin' folks out of their hard earned money? I never get this crap right. I'm still trying to figure out how Paris, Nikki, and folks like that, can make it by on what the gomment has left them with…you know, of the money they worked so hard for. I need more schoolin' I reckon.
Considering the union employees came right out and volunteered to take a pay cut, I'm guessing our future Grammy-Winner has forgotten the part where his hero said, "Naw, fuck you guys, this is about taking away your bargaining rights; not a few bucks."
NEEDS MOAR GWAR.
Destined to be a Flaccid Rock classic.
There is NO way I am listening to this song. Don't try to trick me.
I am totally assuming it is NSFW.
Not Safe For Workers.
Also Women, Wonketeerz, Wonks … basically any variation on the human species that cares for its sanity and health.
Coward!
I listened and I only shoved a pencil in one ear.
Do NOT listen to that song unless you're yearning for the feel of a sharpened chopstick crosswise through the eardrums. DO NOT.
I guess he broke the songwriters' union also.
Show us on the doll where they almost touched your teeny tiny bit, Glen.
Stand AGAINST 1.9 million cheeseheads?
Good luck with that! (not really)
Fucking Glenn Frey!!!
Scott Walker, Real Man Of Genius.
CK:
FTW !!!
Mr. Union-buster Koch-gobbler Guy.
Here's to you, spending minute after painful minute taking orders from the "Koch Brothers" on a prank phone call…
If you like this record, you'll be sure to enjoy Bruce Springteen's latest, "Red Dust"
Mass executions would be a great deterrent against this kind of bullshit.
You are on FIRE today, good sir!
Why thank you! Your wit is mutually admired.
Very hot. Are you on the liveblog detail this evening?
Mr Shulfer, there is only one reason someone would write and sing a song this execrable: it is because you have made the personal decision that you are prepared to get rich by destroying our children. I have made the decision that I love our children enough that we will kill you if you do this.
I'm in. I have sharpened hiking sticks, crutches, a fine collection of cooking knives, many heavy implements …
I congratulate the songwriter for NOT using the obvious and overused "cheese/please/knees/bees" rhyming scheme.
I like to go with the flees/fleas/breeze/geez scheme.
I was hoping for Packers, sackers, jackers, and whackers.
Bucks, fucks, luck, ducks, shucks?
Brewers, doers, cures, endures?
He cut our teachers' salaries
And fired all the rest
'Cause we need ignorant widget turners
Not citizens who protest.
And he ended collective bargaining
To cut taxes for the wealthy
'Cause Dickenisan economics
Are what makes America healthy
And we will peeeeeeee
On Governor Walker
We will peeeeeee
On Governor Walker
Don't forget Tonette
and her handbags for charity.
How she gets all wet
Grabbing money, "More for me!"
i have a dream of watching someone beat this guy senseless El Kabong's Kabonger. Oh he already is senseless, okay well just a good beating then.
That's no way to treat a Perfectly Good Guitar!
See where Walker is superimposed over the map of Wisconsin? His balls are right over Prairie Du Sac. Just sayin'.
Glen Shulfer, the Jon McNaughton of Kermit renditions.
Needz moar Ashcroft.
With or without the Pancreatitis Trio?
With the accompaniment of the inflamed Malignant Merry Makers.
Let the Eagle Snore.
Srsly. While covering up all available boobs.
But how will they find their way to the voting booths if they are covered up?
I'd hit that.
…with a shovel. You left that out. You're welcome.
I was thinking ball peen hammer…
Anything capable of delivering a short, sharp shock …
You see the pictures of him throughout the video? Ew.
I hope Glen Shulfer will remember
Union Man don't need him around anyhow
SWEEEEET HOME AFL-CIO
Where the collars are BLUUUUUEEEE…
I honestly think the crappy Christian rock has polluted many other forms of music. Not that this song is really music, but you get the idea.
A couple of those young ladies holding protest signs have astonishingly chubby pins.
I did not the screen shot of the Dykes on Bykes.
Terrible lyrics, lousy beat, couldn't really dance to it – I'll give it a 1, Dave.
I'll give it a punch in the snoot if it comes around asking how it did, is what I'll give it, TG.
MB: Was it in "Airplane" where the ticket agent said "I'll just punch it up on the computer" and then hit the screen with a boxing glove?
I think so, TG. Now I have an excuse to watch it again. That one and Blazing Saddles are my two favourite movies. Pretty highbrow, eh?
MB:
No need to apologize for a classic. And there is on doubt "Airplane" is a classic. "Up a Creek," "Tin Men," "Used Cars," "Animal House" – good times!
Needs more explosives.
Preferably stuffed up Glen Fluffer's ass and lit to go off coinciding with one of those dreadful clash-bangs.
His next hit will be on the joys of Koch sucking.
He sings as well as Joe plumbs.
He’s been a fan of politics since he was “a young little boy"… He was heckled and bullied by Walker haters “almost to the point of touching,” he says.
Okay, so what I'm getting from Glen Shulfer is that Scott Walker touched him when he was a young little boy, and he's been a Walker supporter ever since. Gotcha.
Sounds vaguely like the Enterprise (Star Trek) "Theme" Song…
It´s been a long road, beating up teachers here.
It´s been a long time, but my time is finally near.
And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Everyone's in my way.
And they´re just gonna beat me down some more, yes they´re just gonna beat me down.
Cause I´ve got Koch in my heart.
I´m going where the Koch will send me.
I´ve got delusion to believe that I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the dumb. And they are gonna bend or break me.
I can ruin any state. I´ve got Koch, I´ve got Koch, Koch in my heart.
Diane Warren Libel!!!!!!!!
that's one big koch if it reached all the way up to your heart – the brothers have a future in the adult entertainment industry if this whole Bloated Plutocrat gig doesn't pan out
I think you meant "mouth, dear.
Someone bite the head off a bat.
I will walk with Governor Stander.
No one can be blander.
To unions he won't pander,
He's gonna fight… and, er…
gerrymander.
His opponent he'll slander,
his speech will meander,
He walks with a canter,
He's a known insane ranter.
(OK those last two are near rhymes).
Your move, Nickelback.
I can't get my face out of contorted cringe-mode.
Fright'ning, innit, what bad music can do to a person?
Conservatives aren't artistic, and if they think they are, they are just bad. They look at artists and say, "Get a job."
It sounds a lot better when Sly and the Family Stone do it.
Hon, it would sound better if the local fucking town drunk did it. This guy can't sing. I mean, he can, obviously, but his voice is irritating, and the music is terrible and it's just so incredibly *bad* and puerile and meaningless and pathetic — it's like a bunch of pre-teens with overindulgent parents squawking away on a school stage. No one can tell them they're bad, but everyone would really like to.
R governor, he ain't no orange
R governor, he stoopid as a door hinge
Oranges, Poranges, who said there ain't no rhyme for oranges?
Ah, memories – I haven't heard that line since Witchiepoo's uplifting rendition on H. R. Pufenstuf.
Needz Moar Freebird
If I'd leave here tomorrow,
I'd hide away on Wall Street.
For I must be foreclosing on, now
Cause there's too many people in homes
I don't wanna see
Waving lighter, etc.
Eh. I'm holding out for the Jandek cover version.
That rooster can sure Koch a doodle do. Yee haw!
But that spectacularly bad song needz a refreshing pallet cleanser from the HoverRound queens Margaret and Helen.
I find this song extremely difficult to masturbate to.
Here are some different lyrics you can sing to that tune, probably by the same writer:
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
I think the best part of this movie is when that guy is pinching that big yellow cat's nose.
Jesus, man, can you change the youtube? I had a rough night and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.
I would also like to unsee forever that still of Scott Walker, astride a motorcycle, and wearing quite possibly the gayest looking leather vest in the history of gay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXhqk2ImYX8
“I’d like to teach
the world to sing
in perfect harmony.”
Unfortunately, the world’s gone to shit.
"Ebony and Ivory, live together in perfect harmony…….."
This one too!
Weird Al might call this a "target rich environment."
The fascists didn't write many good songs back then, either, and it doesn't sound like they've improved any.
When we faced an uphill climb, with a future not too bright,
Yeah, there's something not too bright here.
Dear Mr. Sulfur,
Can I get this as a midi ringtone? That would be rad.
My favorite part is at 2:28. God, what a horrible voice. Thank god I'll nevah, evah have to hear that garbage again.
This song will not be a very big hit in Milwaukee because they only listen to bands like Cradle of Filth and We are Legion.
I'd like to hear the Violent Femmes cover this.
There was a Koch-Sucker from Heath
Who'd push back the foreskins with his teeth
It wasn't for fame or for love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath…
Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Yeah yeah yeah yeah!
smegma libel!
Fromunda!
why yes,,, the Tea Party demographic cannot walk without a Walker,, or a Rascal for that matter
Just a note from the Badger State: There are some talented individuals in the arts, music, dance and drama here. We don't consider Glen to be among them, but there are some talented individuals. This song is almost as good a song as Scooter is a governor. We're almost all looking forward to Scooter going back to whatever he might be capable of in private enterprise (parking lot attendant? french fry technician? mop boy at adult arcade?).
I actually just paused Spookey Ruben to listen to this shit. Back to iTunes!
The guy who wrote "Nixon Now More Than Ever" is turning over in his grave. And if he isn't dead yet, he should be.
What a hack! "Stand with Governor Walker" is just his earlier hit "America" with different lyrics.
This is what happens when you cut arts funding.
This is also what happens when you cut farts.
Made it to the bridge at 2:20, what's that win me?
Seriously, Sgt Barry Sadler's laughing at this ridiculous shit.
I watched the whole thing, but with the sound off. Who wins, your scarred eardrums, or my bleeding eyeholes?
With all the money the Koch's have, you think they could have at least gotten Woody Guthrie's non-union Mexican equivalent to write their songs.
If the Kochs have an iPod, this is on it (right after "Let the Eagle Soar").
That song is merely one synclavier-type synth sound from being a new Christian hymn.
Swap out Jesus for Walker, throw in a few Holly Lew YAHH's in and you're there. I suspect this guy will go xtian shortly if he hasn't already.
For relief……….
Take one of these and call me in the morning
[my favorite part is at 3:00 when the MC tries to end it]
Just imagine Steven Tyler complaining about groupies bothering him "almost to the point of touching."
He got the cross-eyed, college dropout, union killin', Koch sucking blues.
The iTunes Store will pay you 99 cents if you download it
possibly the longest 3 minutes, 21 seconds I have ever endured
No, that would be listening to Whitney Houston yodeling the National Anthem.
Jan. 5, 2012: The day the music died.
Hidden Princess? Is that for a porn soundtrack?
‘Stand With Governor Walker’ Amazing! How DOES he stand with a Koch up his ass?
"Stand on Governor Walker" – but don't forget to wipe your feet before you come indoors
Gawd Liz, would it hurt you to play some Foghat every once in a while?
How about some Nazareth…
There's no votin' for
That son of a bitch!
There's no votin' for that sonofabitch.
This is the kind of song that makes me miss cassette tapes, because when something sucked you could rip the tape out of the case and throw it out the window. That always made me feel better. That and backing my car over the cassette. I wish I could do both to this song.
I'm put in mind of Dylan's "Hurricane" or Joanie Baez singing about "Joe Hill".
Not too many things rhyme with Walker. I would have used fucker but that's just me.
Foot Locker, fart knocker, loud talker…
Koch salker
It's really amazing, from Newt Gingrich to Scott Walker, the GOP has manage to produce such a crop of human turds ate every level of government. I wonder if this is how it felt in the Roman Empire.
Yup. The piano intro was all I needed.
Marker 0.17: that liontamer in the handlebar moustache, white leotards and tu-tu. Wow. WTF.
Dear god that was truly awful. WHEN am I gonna fucking learn NOT to watch/listen/ask about ANYthing here?
Liz Colville, you better not wear a huge sign saying "I am responsible for unleashing Glen Shofar upon the world." Not if you want to celebrate many more birfdays. Jes' sayin'.
So I guess it's a good evening to be at work. And even Zeus bless the IT turds.
Needs more Waits.
OK – I'll be the first.
Shulfer, Shulbad.
Scott the ultimate Kock sucker. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQvNu8LoTo0&fe…
……..Is that you Charles?
JFC, I lasted all of thirteen seconds. This guy makes Ashcroft's "Let the Eagle Soar" sound good…
I assume that "Hidden Princess" is about the 11 year old girl he has hidden in the hole he dug in the basement.
I don't want to slander either of these terrific artists, but he sounds like either the lead singing of Barnes and Barnes (of "Fish Heads" fame) or um… the guy who sung "Pac-Man Fever."
This is a joke from the Stephanie Miller Show … right? Right? Right?
I expect to hear it all week.
What an amazing decomposition!
This comment fell out of my ass when I tried to stand up for Governor Weak-eye.
Oh no! Walker prolapse!
Uhhh..,I live there and I'm a musician and know a lot of folks and I've never heard of this fuckstick, much less one of his stupid ass songs
Charles Sykes is still on the radio?
CRIPES!
My God that song is awful.
I hit play and had to quit it 1:26 in.
I'm so glad you guys are about to correct your mistake, but it will forever be a mystery to me how this guy got in office.
I made it about :40.
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA. I almost choked on a mouthful of pancakes listening to that mess. I don't know what's worse: the weinie voice, or the completely horrendous writing. Wingnuts should NEVER try to be creative, because it just doesn't work.
indicative of Walker's supporters? complete raving loons?
Hmmm… .rhyming "Walker" with "talker". I only wish Scottie's last name was Wucker so I could write my own song.
you just know he is dreaming/fantaizing about walker personally thanking him for this obvious platinum diddy. He gonna be sporting some seriously wood on that magic day.
Heard this about this "ballad" on the Stephanie Miller Show. This guy claims to be a Christian, but after watching "Union Man" one has to wonder.
The guy he opens with in that diatribe, was the guy that was on a hunger strike at the State Street corner of the Capitol Square in Madison. If memory serves, the guy was a Disabled VET.
Why are these guys such big _ricks
its cause they got tiny little _icks
I'm not done having my fun
I think they've got more short comings than one.
"Not too bright" pretty much says it all.
I blame reel-to-reel tape!!!!
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