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To Mark Roe v. Wade Anniversary, Winger Lady Says Decorate With Abortion Porn

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Hey, COOL! Some crazy wingnut lady is sharing her abortion porn-based decorating tips with America’s college kids! Rep. Vicky Hartzler of Missouri recommends covering the dorm bulletin board with high-quality prints of aborted fetuses (which, in the video sounds more like “aborted feces”, no?). If graphic late-term abortion footage won’t exactly fly with your feminazi RA, Vic suggests at least stacking some fun brochures about how babies grow on a table, and maybe also randomly littering your dorm with pamphlets on non-optional pregnancy. What a hip and respectful way to share your views with the people forced to live near you! [Think Progress]

Comments

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  • Barb

    Abortions for everyone! Get on the bus!
    15 days until they yank out my uterus. I hope I can squeeze in an abortion before then.

    • SorosBot

      Man, I wish I had womb and could join in your abortion party. What fun they must be!

      • Barb

        We have secret abortions every time you guys turn your back. Heck, I'm calling my next bash "The Pro Choice Bowl" and there will be buffalo wings, nachos, pizza, and kegs of beer.

        • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

          Then why did the canning jar factory in So. Carolina go out of bidness?

        • SorosBot

          Can we have some barbecued aborted fetus too?

          • Barb

            Baby back ribs? Nom, nom, nom!

          • SorosBot

            Baby back ribs? You are really killing me on this thread Barb.

          • MissTaken

            I hear they taste just like chicken.

          • SorosBot

            And you're killing me hear too; I can't stop laughing.

          • Barb

            Sorry, I was just updating my Facebook status to "having an abortion" and "un friending" little Jeffery Alan XVIII.

          • MissTaken

            Glad I can entertain! The sad part is I actually have work to do now, but I can't stop. This thread is hilarious!

        • CapnFatback

          May I suggest locating your next party in the back of Will Arnett's Hummer?

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Don't forget the bowl of coat hangers! More fun for everyone!

    • MissTaken

      15 days = 15 abortions in my world!

      • Barb

        Only another woman would understand the urgent need to have as many abortions as possible. Thanks!

        • flamingpdog

          And here I thought the only thing I was missing by not being a woman was having boobs to fondle any time I felt like it.

          • SorosBot

            Now you also miss the joy of having a political movement that wants control over your body, as well as making 75 cents for every dollar made by a man.

          • MissTaken

            One word, three syllables. Starts with "clit" and ends with "oris".

          • Fare la Volpe

            Santorum?

          • SorosBot

            Oh I know; having one of those would be very nice.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'm tellin' ya, they're havin' all KINDS of fun back there.

          • Katydid

            Just because I can, I'll have you know every woman fondles her own boobs every day, when she's not having an abortion. Sometimes even then.

    • Chichikovovich

      Well, first – good luck and best wishes for your surgery. (This is the first I've heard of it – sorry if it's old news in these parts.) I'll be thinking of you in 15 days.

      Second – I hope you at least froze a lot of eggs back in the day, so you can have a few of them fertilized and thrown away every Roe v. Wade day.

      • Barb

        Yeah, I am 6 tumors that have to go. I have the uterus of a woman who is 6 months pregnant. I had the pre surgery physical today. Feb 8th, 7:30 AM will be the end of my having abortions, just for shits and giggles.

        • Chichikovovich

          That's just the time I'm driving my children to school. I will make sure I keep you in my thoughts.

        • SorosBot

          We'll be thinking of you, Barb; good luck.

          • Barb

            I'm going to have my iPad with me and live blog the whole thing on serious pain meds, lol.

          • Fare la Volpe

            YES. Sober Barb is hysterical; I can only imagine how you are hopped up on goofballs.

          • ThundercatHo

            Liveblogging one's hysterectomy sounds like more fun than a GOP debate cuz at least you should get some good controlled substances. Make sure you talk to your anesthesiologist about post-op pain control (get lots of the good stuff). Seriously though, good luck and we'll all be sending positive healing vibes your way.

          • Barb

            Thanks Sweetie!

        • Limeylizzie

          My thoughts will be with you and , of course, your uterus.

          • Barb

            My thoughts are always on your uterus.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        What a terrific way for a scientifically-minded modern young woman to celebrate Roe v. Wade!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Sorry, I cannot has. But I'll be happy to hold your coat while you get yours done.

      • Barb

        Hell, hold the coat hanger too.
        Gotta grill a steaky and crack a beer. Be back soon.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Tall drink of fetus-aborter, you.

          • Barb

            Make that steak cook faster! It's 24 oz and I haven't eaten since yesterday.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Girl, don't make me nag you or nuthin', but WTF are you doing not eating right just weeks before surgery?

          • Barb

            I had two bites of steak, half an ear of corn and a baked potato.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Darling, you can't *do* that, not right before surgery. You have to eat right, which means LOTS more fresh fruit, fresh veggies, and protein rich meals. Don't make me come down there with my gimpy leg and everything to beat your ass, girl! That is so inconsiderate.

          • Barb

            Cross my heart, I went to the farmer's market today.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            All right, then. I'll just go back to sitting on my aching ass and griping about my knee. So what happened yesterday, just too busy? Remember to get plenty of rest too, you'll need to be rested. Also pls 2 drink lots of water and stay hydrated. It's like training for the marathon. Who's coming to stay and help you recuperate by spoiling you rotten?

          • Barb

            I live in the desert, in high altitude. I always drink water. Wanna see what I just finished. It's gonna gross you out, for sure. http://tinypic.com/r/x1c4nd/5
            Ainsley needed a Valentine's Day dress and I couldn't wait to finish it. It is very teeny tiny, like Ainsley. Getting the little crystal hearts (inside the circles on the skirt) on it was the hardest part.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            OMG it is fucking gorgeous! It is beautiful! Wow, I'm so impressed, Barb. You are a woman of many talents. I wish I could make something like that. I'm working on a piece of fabric art, but I kind of lost inspiration when my leg went south. That kind of fine work is the worst, it requires monumental patience, and I haven't any. You can always show me pitchers of cool stuff like this if you want.

          • Barb

            I want to make amazing quilts like the Amish women do. I have to get you in my email loop so I can gross you out with all the crafty crap I do.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            It's a date. Sock it to me baby: the political cat (all one word) at gee mail dot youknowwhat. I wish I could do that stuff. It really is absolutely beautiful and I would like more pitchers.

          • 102415

            Very very cute! Have fun in surgery and remember to always say " The pain is 10!! 10!!! I tell you." And get up and walk right in the hospital as much as you can as soon as possible.

          • ThundercatHo

            You know it's not March 14th, right?

          • Barb

            What's March 14th?

          • ThundercatHo

            Isn't that steak and blowjob day or do I have that wrong?

    • finallyhappy

      I'd like to have one but my womb no longer works and hasn't for some years!

  • MissTaken

    If everyone stopped getting abortions then where would they find pictures of aborted fetuses to decorate with?

    • SorosBot

      They can always make their own!

    • Steverino247

      The Internet, obviously!

    • Naked_Bunny

      Just post photos of discarded appendices. Not like they can tell the difference.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I see a profit to be made in abbatoir photography.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Red jello kinda looks like a fetus, and it's not like the wingnuts are smart enough to know the diff.

      • emmelemm

        Ahhh, that reminds me of one Halloween in the early 2000s, at a point where there had recently been several "have baby in bathroom while at your senior prom" news items, a friend of mine went in costume of a prom dress (complete with tiara), a red string tied somewhere under the skirt, which was attached to a plastic bag which was then secured with a loop around her wrist (for carrying purposes). The plastic bag was full of… something… plus a lot of red jello. That was awesome.

      • Crank_Tango

        Shit, where I live, we add aborted fetuses to our red jello like so much fruit cocktail.
        Because until you can run a prius on them, you gotta do something with the little fuckers, amirite?

        And yes, I am in San Francisco.

  • DustBowlBlues

    It's morans like this who make me proud to stand up and declare: "I had an abortion when I was over 40, bitch."

    What about the debate tonight? Liveblog or am I forced to do something productive while I wait for Current and MSNBC to tell me these people are full of shit? Or watch the debate while I dust?

    I hate all this uncertainty about my evening schedule.

    • Steverino247

      Relax and have another abortion.

    • Limeylizzie

      I had one at 38 and I am glad I did, fuck all of these judgmental assholes.

      • PsycWench

        I could have had an abortion when I found out my son would have Down syndrome. I didn't.
        People always assume I'm pro-life because of this. I tell them I'm glad to have had the choice and I'm still pro-choice.

        • Limeylizzie

          You are a better woman than I.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          You're an admirable woman. Not for having a baby with Down, clearly even a Sarah Palin can do *that.* But for knowingly undertaking the difficult task of parenting a child who needs so much more than others; and for not permitting your choice to cloud your judgment about others' rights.

        • Fare la Volpe

          And because you made that informed choice of your own volition, we know that your son will always be well loved and well taken care of. Good on you.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          You understand the meaning of the word "choice", unlike too many.

      • SorosBot

        But wait, I thought it was only young sluts who had abortions, not older or married women!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        And here I've been envisioning you as a late-twentiesish vision of loveliness. It had never occurred to me that you could be over 30. Dang, gurl. You don't look a day over 26!

        • Limeylizzie

          I am getting down to my last good egg.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Toss it out. There will *never* be another you.

          • Swampgas_Man

            Scramble that sucker!

        • Fare la Volpe

          Avatars are so slimming.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Don't — please — tell me that that av of yours is not your own, real photo. (Sobs bitterly)

    • Fare la Volpe

      I've never had an abortion, but the more you girls talk about 'em I feel I have to get in on this trend before it becomes as passe as ugg boots. Just need to get a uterus first and I'm gold!

  • Beetagger

    Hello Rep. Hartzler: I am an unemployed photographer and would like to apply for the position of abortion photographer that you recently posted. Do I get paid per fetus?

    • flamingpdog

      What your hourly fee-tus?

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    my dormroom has blacklight abortion posters.

    terrible decision

    • MissTaken

      So you wouldn't suggest I get the fetus lava lamp I've had my eye on?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I don't see why. A little glitter, a little creativity, and Voila! Instant Blingee!

      This could provide some exciting artistic opportunities. Also, too.

  • Barb

    Rick Santorum said that rape victims should "make the best out of a bad situation." When life gives you lemons, shut up and eat your lemons.

    • KathrynSane

      When life gives you lemons, squeeze out the juice and throw it in Rick Santorum's beady little eyes. What a douchebag.

    • Chichikovovich

      Every time I think I hate Gingrich even more than Santorum, Santorum digs deep into his repertoire of ooze for something that will pull him back into the lead.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I think he means, "When life gives you lemons, stick them up your lacerated cunts, ladies, and shut the fuck up, the men are taking care of Important Business."

      I do not want to live in a world where this asshole gets to make decisions about *any*one's rights.

      • Fare la Volpe

        Santorum looks like the kind of guy who would still be a virgin despite fathering 5 kids. I don't know how it's possible, but I know he'd find a way.

        • PsycWench

          Turkey baster?

          • Fare la Volpe

            I was thinking the mailman.

          • flamingpdog

            Prolly not the femailman.

    • BerkeleyBear

      When life gives you lemons, make a series of incisions on your arms, squeeze the juice over them, then place the remaining pulp on the wound. Make sure you rub some shit in there too, just for the potential for infection.

  • DustBowlBlues

    A John Deere ad. Excellent! We have a real one–the mid-range sedan style we got used for 11K and the Old Man just bought a kiddie model for our granddaughter. Who knew wonkette would be used to advertise to the Heartland? Does this mean Ken has sold out to the wheat lobby?

    • flamingpdog

      Damn, I was going to comment on that! I think it the "Green" in the advertisement that brought them to us. But then I don't have much use for tractors unless they're pulling giant loads in an arena with thousands of screaming "real Americans" in the stands.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Y U get to see things *I* don't? All I ever see is computer ads and book ads. Wut gives? Oh, sometimes I get hot-looking boys, total twinks with hard bodies and tousled hair, advertising denim clothing. Wuh?

        • Fare la Volpe

          Are you complaining?

  • nounverb911

    The right to live until you're born, and then you're on your own.™

  • SorosBot

    Yeah, that should work – considering that the vast majority of aborted fetuses look like a microscopic blob, people will see that it's nothing like a human and abortion is perfectly OK.

    • Redhead

      Or, in most abortions, they won't actually see ANYTHING, at all.

      • SorosBot

        Well I'm assuming they'll use a microscope.

        • MissTaken

          That sounds all science-y and evil. If Jeebus wanted us to see a fetus he would've put them out the outside and painted them plaid.

          • SorosBot

            How dare those scientists claim that a fetus develops gradually, developing organs over a series of months, instead of being a humunculus that starts as a fully formed human body within a man's sperm that just grows. Why those same evil scientists tell us that a woman has equal hereditary contributions to the fetus, when theology tells us it's all the man!

        • Redhead

          Oh I'm sure they will use pictures of the slides in the brochures – but just conveniently forget to say that they're from the microscope slides, and instead insist that that's what it really looks like (along with the heartbeat they claim it's had since two weeks before conception).

  • SayItWithWookies

    But it's okay to abort them if they're bringing drugs into the country, right?

    • nounverb911

      Only in Newtopia.

    • CapnFatback

      Anchor abortions aweigh!

      • DustBowlBlues

        You me to the exception for anchor babies, but said it better. Fuck you.

        • CapnFatback

          I feel as if I've just been slapped on the back and subsequently kneed in the sack.

          And then, of course, aborted.

  • Redhead

    These are the people who thought sticking a dildo-ish ultrasound wand up a woman's hooha in front of the entire governing body and on television was a great way to protest women being allowed to "get away" with sexual promiscuity.

    I'm sure, in their minds, it made sense. So did Cain as a serious candidate. And Palin. And Perry. And Bachmann. And Trump.

    • SorosBot

      And the ultrasound found absolutely nothing, because it was too early in the pregnancy, undermining their whole plan; that was great.

      • MissTaken

        Too early? What are you talking about? I have a little personal ultrasound machine set up on my nightstand. He cums, he sees baby. Win!

        • SorosBot

          Now that sounds hot!

  • flamingpdog

    Babies grow on a table? I thought they grew in the womb.

    • MissTaken

      Womb? Like inside a woman?? That's fucking nasty.

    • Naked_Bunny

      Don't be dumb. How would they breath?

    • CapnFatback

      Well, in fact, it's the wittle table in your wec womb.

  • MissTaken

    Thanks for the decorating tips! One question, would a floral motif clash with the aborted fetus pictures? Because I currently have flowers on my duvet set and would hate to create a decorating faux pas.

    • Steverino247

      And what about feng shui issues? Where one puts the aborted must be considered.

      And happy Lunar New Year! I wish I was in SF for that. Earliest childhood memories are of those celebrations, complete with firecrackers and dancing dudes inside a paper dragon.

      • MissTaken

        Gong Hai Fat Choy!

        I had some dumplings today for prosperity. I had to explain to a coworker that babies born this year are extra special because they are dragons, the only mythological animal in Chinese astrology. Silly part, she's fully Chinese-American and I'm whiter than a loaf of Wonder Bread.

        • Steverino247

          My favorite Chinese place is closed on Mondays, but we're hitting it tomorrow! Yum yum, get some…

        • SorosBot

          Hey, according to Wikipedia, I'm a dragon, too. What do I win?

          • Fare la Volpe

            Bad breath?

          • MissTaken

            An abortion, of course!

  • CapnFatback

    Okay, but how I can tell which are the pictures of aborted fetuses, and which is the Vicky Hartzler campaign literature?

    • flamingpdog

      The pictues of aborted fetuses are more tasteful.

      • Fare la Volpe

        And with less nudity.

        • CapnFatback

          And have better hair!

  • BarackMyWorld

    I just remembered the finale for "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" was filmed in Missouri…funny they didn't call her for decorating ideas.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    I wonder if she'll want to trade for some pictures I have from Vietnam. Lock & load Vicky.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Because nearly 40 years of allowing women to make decisions about their own bodies on their own should not be tolerated!

  • chascates

    I'll stick to my Dorothea Lange and Walker Evans photos of poor people, thank you. Still relevant after almost 80 years.

    • PsycWench

      Maybe more, because it seems like we could have come up with more solutions in 80 years.

  • flamingpdog

    "Most American learn through pictures"

    Maybe in Missouruh, lady, but most people outside the Bibull Belt learned to read in school, even a lot of the food-stamp blahs!

  • Steverino247

    Zealots for Zygotes strikes again. Anything under about 24 weeks won't even make a good soup.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Worst pron ever.

    "That's Not A Coat Hanger: XXX"

    • Naked_Bunny

      If you're being mistaken for a coat hanger, you probably shouldn't make a video.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Speaking of abortions….there's another Republican debate on tonight.

    • Naked_Bunny

      A fine line-up showing why abortion should be encouraged.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Even mandated, in some cases.

  • Naked_Bunny

    You notice they always want to use pictures of aborted fetuses, and not pictures of fetuses as they're delivered?

    I imagine a video of a sobbing woman, drugged out of her mind, screaming and vomiting as a wrinkled, slimy baby is forced through her vagina, just as the words "Choose Life" fade in.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Oh dear god, is that what it's like? Yikes! I'm so glad I've never attended. (sits down … keels over)

      • Naked_Bunny

        Hell, my wife was screaming and throwing up before we even went to the delivery room.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Sweet Jesus. I can understand wanting one's husband along, since he's the guilty party, but I've been invited to at least three … ah, baby-havings, all of which I refused with thanks. I presume you only have the one child?

          I'm beginning to feel very self-congratulatory about my decision not to attend births.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Oh but you've missed the best part from the guy's POV, when your wife attempts to rip your arm out of the socket so she can strangle you with it.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I presume the voice of experience that speaketh here refers to your very own lady wife?

            Didn't you feel … you know, squeamish about all the blood and bodily fluids?

          • MosesInvests

            No snark here, MB-
            When you're watching your own kid be born, the bodily fluids just don't matter. You're aware of them, but that awareness is just overwhelmed by seeing new life come into the world. BTW, when my son was born, his mother actually shat on the bed during one contraction. Nurses just replaced the sheet and we kept going.
            Thank you-we now return to your regularly-scheduled snark.

          • finallyhappy

            I bit my husband's arm, cursed and vomited- and after that baby, I had a second one 2 years later. Of course, I had no choice except to be there- that's the problem with being the one who gives birth

    • ThundercatHo

      As a former OB nurse I've often thought that having young girls attend a birth would be the very best way to deal with the teen pregnancy problem.

  • Extemporanus

    This comment has been aborted by the user.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I just saw the clip of Santorum today getting the question about Obama being a Muslim and illegally president. AWKWARD~!

  • CapnFatback

    An anti-abortion Winger lady? Well, bless my hair metal! Did she warm up the crowd with "She's Only Seventeen. . . Weeks"?

  • Guppy

    Being "pro-life," I'm sure she also recommends posting graphic pictures of war dead and executed inmates to protest those actions as well.

    Right?

    • Bluestatelibel

      I recommend tacking up photos of all the American soldiers and Iraq civilians killed during Bush's war … think twice America, before voting Republican again.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Combine this with Japanese tentacle porn and you might have something.

  • Callyson

    I'd love to know the reaction of Bad Kitty, who is running for president according to the ad on the right hand side, to this idea…
    Come on, Kitty, scratch her eyes out! Good kitty…

  • ttommyunger

    Only ONE flag flying behind this worn-out piece of ass, and NO FLAG PIN? Commie cunt!

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Oh, Tommy!
      You have such a way with words!

      • ttommyunger

        You know you love it!

  • DahBoner

    You're supposed to just lie back and think of that dude in Tennessee, Biggun who will say anything to embarass Romney…

  • poorgradstudent

    Abortion porn, eh? I'll have to tell the next pro-lifer I run into that opposing legalized abortion is against my self-interest, because I have a very specific sexual dysfunction where I'm only sexually aroused by images of abortion being performed.

  • mavenmaven

    And post some pictures of coat-hangers and their aftermath as well.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Rep. Vicky Jo Hartzler graduated with a BS in education, still living up to it…

  • frostbitefalls

    Perhaps the college girls would like to contemplate this picture too
    https://motherjones.com/files/images/exposure_pho