Jeb Bush, currently one of the less loathed of the metastatic Bush dynasty, sure is one cool, cool customer! With the Florida GOP primary just around the corner, the former governor has revealed that he will “stay neutral,” despite the judicious application of prostrate groveling from Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and Rick Santorum. We must hand it to these Bushes: if they don’t want to do it, it is just not getting done! Papa GHW Bush made this abundantly clear when he qualified his tepid December endorsement of Mitt Romney as “unofficial.” (Could a notary public not be located?)
You may want to copy down the following bit of mealy-mouthed diplomacy for the next time you need to equivocate among three separate but equally horrendous choices:
“I like Mitt Romney; I think he would be a very credible challenger to President Obama,” said Bush, adding the same of Gingrich — “and so would Rick Santorum, by the way.”
An endorsement from Jeb Bush has not always been so difficult to procure. A cursory search of the tubes turns up a glut of political endorsements from just the last couple of years, and for such august positions as Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction, representative from California’s 9th district, and mayor of Jacksonville. Even soon-to-be-deposed Wisconsin governor Scott Walker once managed to garner a pat on the back from Jeb.
So what makes this particular race so different? Jeb would have us believe that “the voters can make up their own minds” on this one. Which sounds like a completely plausible cop-out! Well, um, thank you (we guess?) for being polite, and not collapsing into giggles any time one of these horror monkeys’ name is brought up. That will definitely make the upcoming Republican convention in Tampa, FLORIDA, just that much more comfortable for all involved! [Bloomberg]
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We feel the same way about Jeb, or for that matter any Bush (except maybe Jar Jar).
There is Barbara the younger – she actually supports universal health care and gay marriage, so she seems like a decent person, which must make her a huge disappointment to that horrible family. Plus she's nice to look at.
I think you meant "prostate groveling."
I knew I couldn't be the only one to have read it that way.
Yeah, I had that done at the urologist's office. Couldn't ride a bike for a week!
Thank Odin, I had this picture in my head of Jeb 'n' Newt and . . . I need a drink.
I think she meant "prostate gobbling."
See under Santorum.
I would search for that on Urban Dictionary, but I'm afraid of what I might find.
Looks like Jarbara Bush in her Smith College days.
Off topic, but did Chris Christie say he wants the people of New Jersey to vote on whether he should get gay married?
Is Chrissie dating Lindsey or Marcus?
Marcus and Chrissie – two blubbery worlds colliding.
I think you just turned me straight with that image.
I don't know about "dating", but I know he wants to eat them both. Prolly at one sitting.
He did indeed. As opposed to have it legislated, he wants to put a referendum on the ballot in Nov.
BTW, according to current polls, it would pass so he could actually be doing the movement (heh, heh – Christie/movement) a favor.
Early polls in California were exceptionally favorable for their referendum on gay marriage too, and that may have made people a bit complacent. New Jerseyans supporting gay marriage had better buckle in for a tsunami of garbage ads from various organizations, including some heavily backed by tax-exempt churches.
But Christie is smart. He seems like someone who couldn't care much one way or other about gay marriage. Might even lean in favor. He knows it's an issue that he will have to confront, but he figures that 15 – 20 years down the road, when currently young people are voting and currently old people are mostly dead, a strong negative stand on gay marriage will be a big embarrassment. So put it as a referendum and dodge the issue altogether.
We can be sure Mittens' tax deductible tithe will be fighting against equality there.
A lot less Mormons in NJ to vote against it. But they still have old people of color, which hugely voted against it as well.
He needs the democratically controlled legislature to pass a bill to put it on the ballot. It seems unlikely. They are pitching the idea that giving rights to women to vote and civil rights in the 60's did not need a referendum. The legislative leaders, even that weasel Sweeney seem primed to pass another bill permitting gay marriage. The state senate is said to be only one vote away from making it veto proof.
FFS, first the wingnuts were saying that gay marriage should be decided by legislators, not the courts. Now that legislators are starting to come around, they want to say the people should decide. What's next–if voters start to approve, will they say that we should wait for God to come down and personally conduct gay marriages?
Assholes.
Zapp Branigan: I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me.
"What makes a man neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?"
I'd sooner endorse flesh eating bacteria or a killer bee infestation.
Flesh eating bacteria/Scorching case of herpes 2012!
You laugh, but that ticket is polling 40% in Florida and trending.
He's just mad because all the Chubby Chasers are more into Christie than him.
Nice.
Out of that pack the only one he deems snub-able is Dr Feelgood?
Did he first make that jerk off, who gives a flying fuck motion before responding to the question?
I always imagine the House of Commons doing this en masse at their lively get-togethers.
"Kiss Of Death, meet Jeb Bush Endorsement. Endorsement… this is Kiss."
Is that age before beauty or beauty before age? This is my nonseqitur for today.
I bet he cusses George on a daily basis for fucking things up for him to make his run for President.
warning his party’s candidates to leave the “circular firing squad” of their debates behind and start appealing to a broader audience.
Um, Jeb, that circular firing squad is pretty much the only reason anyone is watching the debates in the first place. Lose those, and your audience will consist of seven grumpy old men on Geritol…
…warning his party’s candidates to… start appealing to a broader audience."
If "appealing to a broader audience" means "broad-assed white Hoveround™ riders with Confederate Flag decals on the back," then Mission Accomplished!
Vitamin libel!
Two (?) words: VP slut.
Stop making fun of Sarah.
Does anyone know if his sibling in a jar will be endorsing anyone?
Can she?
Shake the little blob like a Magic 8 Ball and let the good times roll.
Magic 8 Ball jar: "You're in a jam."
"It is decidedly so."
Yes, if you shook a fetus jar for long enough you'd certainly end up with a jam-like substance.
What?
Meanie!
Shake it, turn upside down like a magic 8-ball, and the answer will be revealed. Or it might say "Ask again later".
Or open it, spread it on toast, and then become president.
Except in Oklahoma.
Don't expect any canned responses from him. He tends to speak his mind and you can clearly see his position. But this year, that runs counter to party line and puts him in quite a pickle.
"Screw you! This is about self-preservation here."
If his stance is that contrary, the GOP is bound to keep a lid on it.
Bravo! Top shelf!
Jeb's just waiting to see who Antonin Scalia endorses.
Oh, snap that's good.
He is just mad because if it wasn't for his brother this would be his time!
So something good came out of the ruins of the Bush (Cheney) Admin… the end of the Bush political die-nasty.
That's like saying: Fortunately, after the airplane crashed into the orphanage, the kids didn't need to be adopted anymore.
Nah. Judging by the Harrisons and the Roosevelts, it just takes a generation or two for collective memory to fade.
Crap on a cracker. Suddenly their running to Jeb for his pearls of wisdumb. Is this a sign that he's being annoited as the next in line to run for Prez.?
Another Bush. Kill me now.
Just thank the Mayan Jeebus that the world will end before then.
I remember when Lucy pulled the football away from Charlie Brown because the agreement she'd signed not to do it hadn't been notorized. Don't understand the importance of proper documentation.
Meanwhile, JEB is keeping his options open because he's hoping for a brokered convention that will pick him. Now, such a move would drive the T-Baggers right into the arms of Ron Paul as a third party candidate and make Mr. Obama a shoein.
I think you mean "misunderestimate".
Also, second paragraph very true.
Wait until Rush slams him for it, then you'll see an "endorsement."
Bush went on to say "Ron Paul wouldn't be that bad either, and Tim Pawlenty would have made an acceptable president. Is John McCain running? Because I would support him as well. Obama? He's done pretty well too.
Hell, my brother was president and the union managed to stay together. It seems like anyone can do it."
I he running for vice president, or just trolling for ham biscuits? He duz haz a purty face as we say in sotubonics.
He dares risk the wrath of the Paultards?
They can put a blimp over your house, Jeb!
~
And kill him a million times over in WoW.
"They can put a blimp over your house, Jeb!"
["Newt or Christie?" joke goes here]
Jeb is relying on the intelligence of Florida voters.
Well, that is a novel concept.
Pity poor Jeb. Every morning he reaches with trembling fingers for the bottle of Cuban laudanum on his beside table, muttering "Eight years… they let Georgie run the show for eight… years…"
I bet his wife can't get any sleep for all the…tossing and turning (a phase that pales to the actual process).
Meanwhile Jenna Bush has offered up her endorsement in exchange for a few kegs.
She did not! She also wanted some coke to be included in the bargain.
She got more than just her looks from her daddy
She really does look like a female version of George; and from her public moments she seems equally stupid too. She is one young woman I do not find at all attractive; her twin on the other hand…
Admit it, you just like the brunettes
The younger Bush described both Romney and Gingrich as “credible” candidates in a November contest with President Barack Obama.
OH SNAP. In your face, Frothy and Blimpy.
JEB learned his lesson in 2000: never endorse an idiot for President.
"I've made a HUGE mistake!"
He's trying to sit on both sides of the fence but, of course, the fence collapsed.
And Noel, who does she endorse?
She endorses fake Xanax prescriptions.
Alt-text of the year so far. Well done, Kaia.
Well, the photo makes me think he is "pushing out a turtlehead".
No matter how many catchphrases they dress themselves up with, that picture is the true face of the Republicans.
Could a notary public not be located?
They couldn't find the address book with the notary because it was hiding behind the Fart Book…
"…New Yorker writer Brendan Gill was once a guest of George H.W. and Barbara Bush at their summer house in Kennebunkport, Maine. Stumbling through the place late at night in search of something to read, the only volume he could find was The Fart Book…"
Stay gassy, Mr. President.
I don't need to hear about George and Barb's erotica.
Thereby proving that they're morally superior to smart people.
Because, really, the only thing funnier than fart jokes is executing minorities.
From the look in that pic…he's backing Santorum
From the look in that pic, he's *packing* santorum.
Can't we just skipped the Jeb generation and find out who George P is endorsing?
He's too busy stalking and practicing his hobby, the sport of Lawn Donuts.
What about the notorious Tallahassee Mall Parking Lot Fucker?
It would have been Herman Cain; they seem to have the same views on women's consent.
Wait, isn't he busy coaching the Miami Heat?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:George_P._Bush_…
As long as he doesn't endorse himself (for a WH run), I don't give two shits about who he endorses.
I am also unwilling to endorse any of these Republicans.
That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.
I don't have actual experience, but I bet restroom acoustics amplify the sounds of toe tapping, sweet nothings and cock gobbling.
Never got the whole tearoom thing, but I have overheard others, and yeah, acoustics do amplify (but, really, how do they stand public restroom smells?).
Jeb thinks, "I can parachute ME there at a fucked-up convention!"
(Reduce, reuse, recycle!)
The name Jeb says enough. I don't need to hear that his prostate is grovel-ready.
Exactly what did happen to Seal's face? Was he Quail hunting with Cheney?
I didn't notice anything.
Not sure how your question got in this thread, but if you're referring to Seal, the singer who's married to Heidi Klum, the scars on his face are from lupus.
That's now the singer who's in the middle of a divorce with Heidi Klum.
So no love for Ron Paul from the Jebbers, huh.
Oh ! Wait ,I meant Jeb is not really that Fat.(You know….for a "Jeb")
He's saving his 'endorsement' for the recount – if you get what I mean.
That is one homely ass son of a bitch. Looks like Barb. No?
Jeb won't endorse because it might hurt him in 2016. Palin won't endorse because she doesn't want to look stupid(er).
Boy, when the brother of the ex-President won't stand up for anyone, you know you have problems.
It's just like with the Kennedy Brothers and Marilyn Monroe. By the time Jack passed her down to Bobby, she was so played out that she offed herself. Now, in this analogy, the Kennedys are the Bushes, and Marilyn is the country.
It wasn't suicide, it was murder. Not sure about Marilyn's death, though.
Tou-shay!
I hope Marilyn at least enjoyed *her* screwing.
Jeb Bush is still around?
It makes me happy that none of the candidates are even seeking W's endorsement.
That has to be emptiest voice mail boxes, quietest phone lines, least full mail boxes in the known universe. He could probably "fill the ol' coffers up" pretty quick just by threatening to endorse various candidates. "Yep, Mitt I just might have to look you up when you're down there visitin' with my bro. Hell, I could even pop into the debate and give you a big ol' Texas bear hug to show my solidaritude with ya pardner" "20 million for the lieberry! Well hell pardner, I sure will stop up to thank ya in December, kinda late, but I know you're busy and all…"
And by "lieberry", he means, "finish drinking himself to death".
Jeb just doesn't want to narrow his choice of V.P.'s….
It's hard to endorse someone when you're holding out to be the Republican rescue messiah and get the nomination yourself.
He is still recovering from giving his imaginary state of the union speech in front of the bathroom mirror last night.
There's only one thing worse than a big dumb cunt: a shapeless big dumb cunt named Bush.
Jeb's the smart one too
Well I do prefer brunettes, but have nothing against blondes or redheads or even women who die their hair unnatural colors as long as they don't look too freaky. But Jenna's hair doesn't matter; it's that she has George's face.
The upside is, she could be the substitute for a hate bonk with W. Ewww. The downside is…her face would be in the pillow.
I know, my ass is still sore from Bush. And by "ass" I mean my 401k and the equity in my house. (I realize of course that makes me more fortunate than a lot of folks.)
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