this better get on the emmy shortlist

Scott Walker Recall Webcam Wisconsin’s Favorite New TV Show

Already they have better nicknames than the idiots from Survivor.

Wisconsin’s latest craze in televised bloodsport (hey, just in time to fill the void left by the Packers’ playoff loss!) is a hawt new web show with just a single overhead camera starring the dozen or so people that the Government Accountability Board locks into a secret room at an undisclosed location in Madison each day to verify 1.9 million recall petition signatures one piece of paper, one line at a time. Tens of thousands of viewers have already been sucked in by the phenomenon and are tuning in to watch, rapt, as the painstaking process of ruining Scott Walker’s life slowly unfolds. Don’t let the fact that there’s no audio bother you, even — Twitter has made its own soundtrack and character names for the mystery workers!

Basically it’s Mad Men but with more civics:

And people can’t get enough of it! From AP:

Board spokesman Reid Magney, who has made cameo appearances on the cam, said at its busiest when it went online Wednesday around 400 people at the same time were watching it. By Thursday afternoon, after the tantalizing angle change, the webcam had logged 29,308 total visitors. The webcam is a first for [the Government Accountability Board] and is being provided free of charge to taxpayers by 5Nines.com of Madison, Magney said.

Magney, who acknowledged that watching the cam is as exciting as watching paint dry, was somewhat at a loss about its allure.

“People are interested in watching people do things, I guess,” he said.

Oh bless this fellow Magney, that is in fact what all television is about, but this is the only television where you get to watch the bricks going up one by one around Scott Walker’s reign of union-busting terror like the Cask of Amontillado. On Wisconsin! [AP via Wonkette operative "Monsieur Grumpe"]

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399 comments

        1. tessiee

          I'll never get over that description of her that was on "Saturday Night Live":
          "That bitch. She looks divorced."

        1. horsedreamer_1

          How 'bout — it's Friday (Friday!) committing voter fraud on Friday everybody's voting for the Lizard People?

        2. Barb

          Awww, I would think that you would be impressed that I got the reference in the first place.

          You do know I am a songwriter, right? At least my BFF and partner in songwriting says I am.

    1. barto

      Wait wait! didn't someone just say "you look like you could use a massage"? my lip reading isn't that good…

    1. C_R_Eature

      Then they'll have to figure out whether Lizard people and Dr. Emilio Lizardo are separate votes or votes for one person.

          1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

            Whorfin, your overthruster's for shit! We're lost!

            (I always felt sort of sorry for John Bigboote…a Lectroid who never got his due)

          2. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

            From what I've read, virtually everybody involved wanted to actually make a sequel, but the tangle of legal rights to the original were one of those Hollywood clusterfucks that made it nigh impossible (and even came close to screwing up the DVD release).

            So without ever showing its face, the World Crime League won. Though director JD Richter says "We try to keep the franchise and the brand alive, anyway, because we never know when somebody is going to say, 'Yeah, make something else.'"

            No matter where you go, there you are.

    1. Guppy

      The last time people agitated for more Firefly, they killed off Shepherd and Wash. Have you learned nothing yet?

      1. MissTaken

        As long as the sexual tension triangle of Inara, Mal, and Saffron is there I will petition daily for more Firefly.

    2. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      It looks like Arrested Development will go back into production–for Netflix, of all the crazy things. Could Firefly be far behind? Whedon has already done a web series, after all….

  1. SexySmurf

    Ideas for improving it:

    1. Hillbillies. By law every show must have at least one.

    2. Investigation to see if Bigfoot signed the recall petition.

    3. Two words: Mob Wives.

  2. CliveWarren

    “People are interested in watching people do things, I guess”

    That is basically why I watch porn, I guess.

    1. sezme

      Speaking of which, be sure to tune into this live feed after 2:00am Central Time. Boom-chick-a-wow-wow, if you know what I mean.

  3. ExecutorElassus

    holy shit. It's image macros in real-time, with notes of apocalyptic inevitability and absurdist political comedy all in one. There's a Pandora station for it now, too.

    This is some kind of Zen Koan, I'm sure of it. If we watch this enough, maybe we'll all achieve enlightenment.

      1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        I just realized that "Ken Layne" is an anagram of "El Kenyan"!!

        We are down the rabbit hole, people.

      2. ExecutorElassus

        No, more like Alvin Greene. As Jack Stuef said about him – back in the day, before he went wherever he is now (writing about The Homosexuals?), when he was doing the Daily Briefing – "The Master arrives without leaving, sees the light without looking, and achieves without doing a thing."
        If you watch the most asinine, inane thing – which coincidentally carries enormous political consequence – without any sensory input, it becomes the secret to enlightenment. Or, uh, surrealist sexcapades. You decide!

  4. sezme

    Sideburns, Flirty, and Stockton, it should be noted, are all proud members of the International Brotherhood of Petition Counters Local 3654. Kochsucker doesn't stand a chance.

  5. C_R_Eature

    "Allright! Whereinhell are Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful n' Doc? I better not find 'em doin' one-hitters in the stockroom again!"

  6. Callyson

    I recommend watching with some reggae in the background. Hypnotic.
    Wow, maybe I need to get out more…

        1. flamingpdog

          Based on the rhythm, I always assumed that they were wailing about having one leg an inch shorter than the other.

    1. Chichikovovich

      A nice thought, but instead of "Scott Walker's Reign of Terror" in the Fortunato role, why not simplify and just make it "Scott Walker"?

    2. fuflans

      i probably would have gone with 'fall of the house of usher' for my 'entombed alive' reference, but really, there is just nothing wrong with poe.

      Requiescat In Pace! scott

    3. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Three, give the go-ahead for U.S.-based Mossad agents to take out a governor deemed unfriendly to organized labor, dismembering him and hiding his heart 'neath the floorboards.

        1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Think I'll watch Monk
          And give my donut a dunk
          Cause that gal's got spunk.
          (I fall over–THUNK!!)

      1. imissopus

        Ironic, whenever I'm wallowing in regret over my film degree, history is one path I think I would have enjoyed pursuing. Oh well. Try commenting more often so we can get your p score up, I'm sure that will compensate.

        1. C_R_Eature

          It's not just you. I just hope it's not that the Video feed is growing a new organ in our brains…

    1. Loaded_Pants

      I must say that almost 2 million signatures is impressive. How much you wanna bet some Walker bots come out of the Koch factories to contest most of them?

        1. Sharkey

          I think 2 million was the total for all the different people they want to recall. There's like 5 of 'em, not just Walker. The "just over a million" is just for Walker I think.

          1. Biel_ze_Bubba

            Send them to the dealer (Koch Bros. Corp. Inc. Ltd.) for a retrofit? Better to switch brands entirely.

          2. MittBorg

            I was under the opinion that they, you know, squashed them into little car-cubes. A fate that would not be too unpleasant for those of us who have to put up with their various yawpings.

  7. sezme

    I have to admit, this is pretty compelling stuff. I particularly like Southpaw "Lanyard" McChinbeard.

  8. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I keep waiting and waiting, and yet no one has removed their clothes yet. This is not what I've come to expect from web video!

    1. tealsheart

      Look closer, she's only using one hand for the counting, the other remains under the table. And why are different men taking turns sitting next to her?

  9. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Are we sure this is the recount, and not some people processing orders for Ol' Milwaukee?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Don't get your hopes up … first you have to get the signatures, and then you have to find people who can count. These are big numbers, too … 99% of 'merkins have no experience with them.

      1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        Wow–you may have named the only TV show of the 70's that hasn't been badly remade by Hollywood (yet).

  10. Bluestatelibel

    So basically the American people really have very little to do throughout the day, don't they?

  11. JackDempsey1

    twitter entry: "Bald Stockton has spent the last hour trying to figure out how to steer the conversation to Game of Thrones."

    They don't have *at least* one power-mad, oversexed dwarf as an employee? I smell class action lawsuit.

    1. Monsieur_Grumpe

      You know there are several hundred men and a couple women out there fapping away to her page turning.

  12. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    The thousand injuries of Scott Walker I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon union-busting, I vowed revenge.

  13. alzronnie

    Wisconsin could create jobs right now by hiring thousands of the unemployed to help with the counting. They get a paycheck and Walker gets canned: win-win.

  14. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    The left-handed male, who I am calling "Chinbeard," is adept in the manipulation of simple tools, such as pencils and post-it notes. Although a female, "Pearl," sits near him, he has not so far initiated any courtship behaviours. While some might interpret this as an indication of sexual inversion (Hagee 2004), this apparent lack of interest may simply indicate that she is not currently in estrus.

    ———–
    (nicknames cheerfully stolen from others)

    1. Fare la Volpe

      Speaking as someone who had to slog through buckets full of primate studies in undergrad, I love you.

  15. Sharkey

    That foreign-looking one is up to no good, I just know it. And that fat one keeps blocking the camera, what's that about? Is he stuffing petitions into his trousers?

  16. Rotundo_

    This is Wisconsin in winter we're talking about here. Most bars close around two in the morning and ice fishin' and going from bar to bar on snowmachines are the only other things to do that are worth doing. Watching the pile of signatures grow is pretty exciting by our standards. It's the first time a governor has been held accountable for his actions here, we're pretty psyched eh?

    1. fuflans

      rotundo (speaking as a resident of IL – and we know what you call us) i can say with some conviction that no one down here is making fun of WI anymore.

  17. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Poor Gray Hoody–he looks bored.

    EDIT 15 minutes later: I knew it! He's gone now–he just wanted to go home.

    EDITED EDIT 45 minutes later: Oh, he's back. Just went to dinner or something. No wonder he was fidgety.

    Christ, this is fascinating….I think he just checked his text messages or maybe fed his Tamagotchi.

  18. Negropolis

    This looks like a very bad knock-off of The Office, but maybe Honey Badger could make it salveagable.

  19. rickmaci

    The guy on the front left is playing Game of Thrones but has his printer set to churn out pages and pages of paper so it looks like he is counting.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Thanks! Didn't know if anyone else would "get" that one, but it amused me.

          I swear, that film was all I could think about for the last 8 years when W did/said something stupid. Which was all too frequent.

  20. Negropolis

    Where it the nudity? I was told this signature verification process was clothing optional. Why has no one chosen that option? These are questions.

  21. Jukesgrrl

    Only two people there now. If they're going home for the weekend, the locks they put on that place better be kryptonite. I wouldn't even trust a guard. They can be bought.

    1. OzoneTom

      Even (especially) if they are Kryptonite locks, just let a little WI breeze waft across them for a couple of minutes and you can shatter them with a sledgehammer.

    2. flamingpdog

      I just turned it on and they must be undergoing a second wind – five people sitting and some old balding guy blocking the view.

  22. ElPinche

    Can't we just recall Scott Walker the old fashioned way , by hostile takeover followed by guillotine funtime ?

          1. imissopus

            I presume you're a Lions fan and thus Lambeau Field has negative associations for you, so your brain blocks all thoughts of it for the sake of both your physical and emotional health.

            Now I'm picturing NFL Films filming Scott Walker meeting a guillotine in the middle of Lambeau – multiple angles, slow-motion shots of the blade dropping and his head skittering across the field, the announcer with that sonorous voice saying something like, "Skulls bounce high off the frozen tundra at Lambeau, even the skulls of subvocal mongoloids like Governor Scott Walker when he met his fate on a field once stalked by giants like Lombardi and Starr…"

          2. Negropolis

            I presume you're a Lions fan and thus Lambeau Field has negative associations for you, so your brain blocks all thoughts of it for the sake of both your physical and emotional health.

            Too soon!

            Well, at least our quarterback doesn't look like a chronically ill llama about the face. Jus' sayin'.

          3. tessiee

            "slow-motion shots of the blade dropping and his head skittering across the field"

            At which point, the fans would have to bounce it over their heads, like a beachball at a concert.

  23. C_R_Eature

    Okay, it's been an hour and no one's gotten nut punched, set on fire, jumped out of a window or vomited.

    Worst episode of Tosh.0 ever.

    1. OzoneTom

      Are they active in Wisconsin? I thought that they were only a power in Minnesota.

      One more reason to be hopeful about the future, I suppose.

      1. SorosBot

        Well according to David Icke, they're a power everywhere; the British royal family and the Bushes, among others, are really reptilian aliens in human disguise.

        1. tessiee

          "the British royal family and the Bushes, among others, are really reptilian aliens in human disguise"

          Where would he get such an idea? By looking at photos of them, or by the inept way they imitate human life forms?

  24. Bluestatelibel

    Enough of this bullshit, we need Mitt Romney and Bain Capital to come in and fire these sluggards… one person in China could do all the work for one-tenth the price, and those PCs are worth good money, plus the small mammal. And that chick in front looks lie she's falling asleep, lazy communist hippie. Thanks, and remember to pay my $250 K consulting fee.

  25. Mahousu

    Wait a sec – 5Nines.com? That is, 9-9-9-9-9? Herman Cain, you devil! This and the Colbert business- what are you trying to pull?

  26. OKthennext

    That's some boring shit. However, it is like a little United Nations in there at this moment. Which is kinda awesome.

  27. C_R_Eature

    I'm watching Rachel Maddow now and she's an Awesome bartender.

    She just rescued an errant egg yolk from a mixed drink tumbler (Whites Only!) during the construction of something called a "Millionaire" cocktail. That ain't easy.

    Also, she said "Frothy." Huh huh huh, huh huh.

  28. flamingpdog

    Everybody's wimped out, huh? No posts for the previous 28 minutes. Too bad you all missed the female streaker!

    1. Spurning Beer

      Boner would pull the plug on that shit pronto. Transparency and a free press are all well and good, but the job-killing Obama administration is placing an unprecedented burden on the American people, and they're not going to put up with it any longer.

  29. sezme

    BREAKING: Pearls' pen just ran out of ink, and Lanyard flung a new one at her from across the table. The sexual tension is palpable. I wonder how much weight that table can hold.

    1. Spurning Beer

      It looks to me like Scarf-face with the streaked hair and tights who flounces in and bends over the table might be the one who puts out. She looks like she's maybe 120, 125 tops. Lanyard doesn't look too heavy, either.

      Now, if Toupee gets some action, the tables could give way. I understand the floor is rated to three tons, though.

      Jesus, this is getting hot.

  30. flamingpdog

    Maybe if I went and got my high-powered binoculars and turned out all the lights in the house, watching this would be more exciting.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Should have called his doctor, no?

        BTW, does anyone know what the heck the doctor is supposed to do? (My doctor is sort of cute, and she might be able to help, but in general …??)

          1. Biel_ze_Bubba

            You know a solution is excellent, when the mere thought of it is enough to solve the problem.

    1. Extemporanus

      Now just what the heck are you two talking about?

      My apologies if you somehow missed part of my story. I'll start over and go a liitle bit slower so that you can keep up…

    1. Radiotherapy

      Dear Penthouse, I never thought this could happen to me, I had just dropped out of college, and I was painting a room….

  31. BarackMyWorld

    OT: Has anyone seen anyone in the media deconstruct Newt's tantrum from Thursday night for logic/factual accuracy? All the reporting I have seen on it has either heaped praise on his agility and/or condemned John King for asking the question.

    Is anyone examining his answer point by point?

    For example, how the role his daughters played in trying to get ABC to not air the interview isn't remotely relevant since Newt and Marianne Gingrich never had any children together?

    What about how Gingrich is accusing the press of helping Obama by attacking him, even though there were three other Republicans on that stage who are not Obama, but would also like to see his campaign collapse?

    1. Negropolis

      None of that matters. Debates are pure stagecraft; his answer doesn't have to make sense so long as it sounds good, and boy, it can not be denied that he hit that out of the park no matter how illogical the answer actually was.

      1. BarackMyWorld

        My mind refuses to abandon logic that easily. It's like my brain is Rick Grimes and logic is Sophia, and Newt's rant is zombies and Wonkette is the barn.

        1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Ah. I don't know how closely the TV series will follow the comic, but without any spoilers, I can assure you that your brain shouldn't get too attached to anyone or anything.

    2. SorosBot

      And um, isn't the media hurting Obama by attacking Gingrich, who Obama would simply destroy in the general election?

    3. mayor_quimby

      Yeah, I noticed that shit. Who brings their daughters into a open marriage discussion with their stepmom? Why would they have any idea? It is an APPALING line of reasoning.
      The moderator should have said 'I'm waiting for an answer, you sanctimonious asshole'

  32. Chet Kincaid

    Are objects or people going to start flying around and smashing into things? Stigmata outbreaks? 13 year old girls scuttling across the ceiling like crabs? That is the only reason to have a webcam.

  33. flamingpdog

    Oh, looks like everybody's gone home for the night. Lots of free computer hardware for the taking, Wisconisin Wonketeers!

  34. gigamod

    Honey Badger don't care! Thanks, Wonkette, for existing. Been a lurker for a while, now registered. Spent some time lately mucking through Daily Caller, Wash Times, and Faux News, and their comments. I has a sad for America.

  35. gigamod

    Honey Badger don't care! Thanks, Wonkette. Spent the day in Daily Caller, Fox, and Wash Times comments. I now has a sad for America. Wonkette is my heroin relief. Danke.

  36. SudsMcKenzie

    No, you're not dreaming! It's your name! We made the front page!

    Vassili Zaitsev:Enemy at the Front Gates

  37. Beanball

    I'm watching this at 5:30 AM PST. A room devoid of life, nothing stirs, just the silence of the utilitarian chairs, folding picnic tables, industrial cinder block walls, monitors awaiting their morning jolt of electricity.

    Watching this reminds me of Warhol's Empire, but minus the pretty clouds.

  38. JackDempsey1

    It could use a play-by-play guy, so that you know when to return to the action. Nothing crass ("Hey Chinbeard, this Bud's for you.") More hushed and golf-y. Something that respects the mise-en-scene.

  39. Harry_S_Truman

    I have now sullied myself in the seedy world of campaign super pacs (Americans for a Better Tomorrow Tomorrow). I feel so dirty. Now can I vote for Herman Cain?

  40. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Heh… from the twitterz of last night:

    I will give $100 to the first person on @recallcam to bring in a red Swingline stapler and set it on the table in the middle of the room.

    someone's gonna start writing recallcam fan fic, I fear!…."They reached for the scanner, and as their fingers met, she felt his warm touch and knew she would be safe in his sideburns."

    "My loins burned with 1.9 million tiny fires that only her embrace could extinguish"

  41. ifthethunderdontgetya

    NBC's Chuck Todd Toad lit into Stephen Colbert on Thursday, accusing the Comedy Central host of corrupting the political process with his presidential run and Super PAC in South Carolina.

    No wonder I was losing my faith in Democracy™³²®©!

    Where's a bear when you need one?
    ~

    1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      How dare that jackanapes and his fans treat the democratic process like some kind of circus sideshow!

      As anyone who's paying attention knows, the democratic process is more accurately described as tranny midget snuff porn.

    2. C_R_Eature

      The time's long past when I've listened to anything that came out of that pigweasel Mediaostitute's mouth that I didn't assume was carefully crafted to fit into the "Conventional Wisdom that All the Cool Kids Want To Hear" Box so that he can keep up his fantastically lucrative Day Job, TV spots and Speaking Engagements.

      It's why people get into political journalism, after all.

      What? You thought it was to inform the public?!
      Ah, Ha hahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!! Ho. ho. hehehe. *gasp* *cough, cough*

    3. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "corrupting the political process with his presidential run and Super PAC in South Carolina."

      Does Upptiy Chuck actually believe that Colbert created this problem?

  42. Dashboard Buddha

    I was going to say that instead of a new election, they should just put Honey Badger down Walker's pants…but I reckon that Honey Badger doesn't give a shit*!

    *How many times has that joke been made?

    1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      What were the producers thinking? There's no way the viewers will ever warm to this new "Cousin Oliver" character.

      1. QwertyToo

        That's because all the union thugs signed the petitions which means they weren't allowed to apply for these wonderful Scott Walker created jobs.

    1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      When my Married Lover got me a betta fish in October 2009, I expected he'd last a few months at most, and so I named him Flushy. Little bastard lived until last summer.

        1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Maybe I should change the new fish's name from Darth Betta (Dark Lord of the Fiss) to "Gingrich For President (and I Hope Not To Win the Lottery)" ?

  43. BarackMyWorld

    I hope we get something resembling a SC liveblog later. The pure brilliance of this comments section needs to go (further) uncorrupted.

  44. Biff

    Hey, it's caucus day here in Nevaduh, too. At least for the Dems, who as we all know already have their nominee, so I don't much get why all the bullshit. It's a crappy day outside, I really don't want to go anywhere, but I guess it's my duty to run the gauntlet of Paultards that are most certainly going to be there, as assuredly as the Westboro Baptist "Church" appears at the funerals of dead USAmerican soldiers…

  45. SorosBot

    So who does everyone lust after most? For me it's the girl with the dark hair and glasses in the striped shirt; though I'd guess most of the mens would go for the blonde with the huge … tracts of land.

    1. MissTaken

      Watch put Soros, Sweater Vest is making a play for your girl Stripes. I guess boys do make passes at girls who wear glasses.

      1. SorosBot

        It does look like they're getting flirty there, doesn't it? Let's cheer those two cute kids on; they might be this show's Sam and Diane.

        And I love glasses; they make a cute girl even cuter to me. Well as long as they're decent glasses; even the most attractive woman won't look good in those giant old people's glasses.

          1. SorosBot

            Aw now she's gone and it's just a sausage fest in there, and I haz a sad. But there's a good deal of man-candy for you.

  46. lulzmonger

    Gosh, this looks like it could take a really long time.
    Guess I'm going to have to pace myself.

    (fap ………… fap ………… fap ………… fap ………… fap …………)

  47. ThundercatHo

    Yuck, hunchy guy in commando sweater was just picking his face and sniffing his fingers. They need to put a sticky note on their monitors "Don't pick your nose or anything gross since you are ON CAMERA, LIVE!"

  48. ThundercatHo

    OT: Anybody hear about the cat who was shot right through its whole body (shoulder blades) and survived? The vet who performed the surgery to remove the arrow has named the cat "Cupid". Now there is a sick sense of humor we can all appreciate.

  49. HuddledMass

    Oooo, there was a little meeting, and then they all left. What am I going to do with my Saturday?

    Wait they're back, laying out piles of work! Yay! Let the games recommence…

    1. weej_bain

      There's libel to santorum (santorum lible??) all over the LSM if Gingrich neuters Mittens in the Palmetto State today. What would be next, Ron Paul giving the other three orange suppositories in Florida?

  50. Biff

    Tried to liveblog my caucus, but there was no wifi or 4G service and my phone went all re+arded on me. Windy as hell, trees down, my BBQ down, parts of my roof gone, and what may be the worst thing, Paul yardsigns down. Oh, the humanity…

    fuckin' administrator, anyway

  51. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Does anybody know how, exactly, they "verify" a signature, while sitting in this room? I mean, you can probably find out that a registered voter with that name lives at that address … is that really all it takes? Because you know ACORN would just totally own these people.

  52. Designer_Rants

    I want to know more about Flirty. And did Sideburns sit next to her, or did she sit next to him? Also, it's reeeeally unprofessional to let Honey Badger walk on the signature stacks. Honey Badger doesn't give a fuck.

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