this better get on the emmy shortlist

Scott Walker Recall Webcam Wisconsin’s Favorite New TV Show

Already they have better nicknames than the idiots from Survivor.

Wisconsin’s latest craze in televised bloodsport (hey, just in time to fill the void left by the Packers’ playoff loss!) is a hawt new web show with just a single overhead camera starring the dozen or so people that the Government Accountability Board locks into a secret room at an undisclosed location in Madison each day to verify 1.9 million recall petition signatures one piece of paper, one line at a time. Tens of thousands of viewers have already been sucked in by the phenomenon and are tuning in to watch, rapt, as the painstaking process of ruining Scott Walker’s life slowly unfolds. Don’t let the fact that there’s no audio bother you, even — Twitter has made its own soundtrack and character names for the mystery workers!

Basically it’s Mad Men but with more civics:

And people can’t get enough of it! From AP:

Board spokesman Reid Magney, who has made cameo appearances on the cam, said at its busiest when it went online Wednesday around 400 people at the same time were watching it. By Thursday afternoon, after the tantalizing angle change, the webcam had logged 29,308 total visitors. The webcam is a first for [the Government Accountability Board] and is being provided free of charge to taxpayers by 5Nines.com of Madison, Magney said.

Magney, who acknowledged that watching the cam is as exciting as watching paint dry, was somewhat at a loss about its allure.

“People are interested in watching people do things, I guess,” he said.

Oh bless this fellow Magney, that is in fact what all television is about, but this is the only television where you get to watch the bricks going up one by one around Scott Walker’s reign of union-busting terror like the Cask of Amontillado. On Wisconsin! [AP via Wonkette operative “Monsieur Grumpe”]

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  • nounverb911

    Is Katherine Harris back from Chad yet?

    • OneDollarJuana

      Didn't know she was there. Just hanging around?

      • nounverb911

        She's collecting butterfly ballots.

    • littlebigdaddy

      More to the point, did she ever go through with the sex change?

      • Chichikovovich

        To judge from the last few photos I've seen, s/he's still transitioning.

        • tessiee

          I'll never get over that description of her that was on "Saturday Night Live":
          "That bitch. She looks divorced."

    • Guppy

      I could picture her as a pro-Qadaffi mercenary.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I miss her dimples.

      • flamingpdog

        Is that what they call them in your part of the country?

    • Negropolis

      No, Chad is still boinking her brains out.

      • Mahousu

        That's not much of a challenge.

        • OzoneTom

          Perhaps he's a little short-staffed.

    • Terry
  • SorosBot

    Everybody's workin' for the recall; everybody's tryin' to find a new Gov'nor.

    • Barb

      Everybody's praying for the creep's end
      Everybody needs a second vote,

      • SorosBot

        Thanks; that was a better rewrite than what I could come up with.

        • horsedreamer_1

          How 'bout — it's Friday (Friday!) committing voter fraud on Friday everybody's voting for the Lizard People?

          • Negropolis

            Republican Partyin' Partyin' (Yeah!) Partyin' Partyin' (Yeah!)

        • Barb

          Awww, I would think that you would be impressed that I got the reference in the first place.

          You do know I am a songwriter, right? At least my BFF and partner in songwriting says I am.

          • SorosBot

            Didn't know that; that's awesome, Barb.

          • Barb

            He tossed a song over to me the other day and I couldn't do anything with it. He write it on his own and called it "Farting in the Shower" I had nothing to add to it, lol. http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/11822988

          • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Ayn Rand Paul Tard

            Oh, this is perfect for a nine year old's mind. My son will like it too!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I love it! It's so fucking rude!

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Oh, that is wickedly wonderful. The next big US hit!

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            The internet has shown me that I'm not the only one who didn't outgrow fart jokes. Had to share that on facebook, excellent!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Doesn't surprise me in the least, darlin'. I knew you were something awesomely special the first time I laid eyes on your snark.

          • Barb

            Thanks! You are very kind.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, Lady of Teh Massive P-Ness! All Hail.

          • HistoriCat

            Well, I was impressed.

          • Barb

            Thanks HistoriCat.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Worst office-porno ever.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Since Who's Nailin Pailin, at least.

      • nounverb911

        Newt?

    • barto

      Wait wait! didn't someone just say "you look like you could use a massage"? my lip reading isn't that good…

  • nounverb911

    Well, it's something to do, now that the Packer's are out of the playoffs.

  • OneDollarJuana

    I wonder if they'll get confused when they find more than one "Hitler" signature.

    • C_R_Eature

      Then they'll have to figure out whether Lizard people and Dr. Emilio Lizardo are separate votes or votes for one person.

      • doloras

        Laugh while you can, monkey boy!

        • Frisbeedawg

          I feel so break up, I wanna go home!

          • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

            Whorfin, your overthruster's for shit! We're lost!

            (I always felt sort of sorry for John Bigboote…a Lectroid who never got his due)

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            BigBooTAY!!!

          • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender
          • Monsieur_Grumpe

            Why wasn't there a sequel to that movie?

          • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

            From what I've read, virtually everybody involved wanted to actually make a sequel, but the tangle of legal rights to the original were one of those Hollywood clusterfucks that made it nigh impossible (and even came close to screwing up the DVD release).

            So without ever showing its face, the World Crime League won. Though director JD Richter says "We try to keep the franchise and the brand alive, anyway, because we never know when somebody is going to say, 'Yeah, make something else.'"

            No matter where you go, there you are.

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            Actually, the script that became Big Trouble in Little China was written as the sequel.

    • QwertyToo

      I'm still hoping there is someone in the state named Mickey Maus that signed

    • mayor_quimby

      Come on, y'all , I know we can squeeze a new Hitler men's outta this. Thinking caps on.

  • Goonemeritus

    Ok I'll watch it but only until they bring Firefly back.

    • SorosBot
    • Generation[redacted]

      What? You mean this isn't a petition to bring Firefly back? What did I sign???

    • Guppy

      The last time people agitated for more Firefly, they killed off Shepherd and Wash. Have you learned nothing yet?

      • MissTaken

        As long as the sexual tension triangle of Inara, Mal, and Saffron is there I will petition daily for more Firefly.

        • Guppy

          And you're forgetting how the Inara/Mal/Nandi situation got "sorted out."

          Firefly shipping kills!

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      It looks like Arrested Development will go back into production–for Netflix, of all the crazy things. Could Firefly be far behind? Whedon has already done a web series, after all….

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        If they can add "Better off Ted", Netflix will outperform all the studios.

    • flamingpdog

      I heard they're bringing it back on Telemundo, but it's going to be called Spanishfly.

  • arihaya

    I want a live webcam on Scott Walker when he learns how to count like a kindergarten kid

    • Callyson

      "Commerce, Education, and um, um, um…"

  • SexySmurf

    Ideas for improving it:

    1. Hillbillies. By law every show must have at least one.

    2. Investigation to see if Bigfoot signed the recall petition.

    3. Two words: Mob Wives.

    • C_R_Eature

      Reapers.

      • http://www.facebook.com/groups/227406670645311 Fred_Wertham_Jr

        I think you're allowed to substitute a Cajun for a Hillbilly now.

        • C_R_Eature

          If you can nail down James Carville, you can have both.

    • Negropolis

      I agree with that last one. Like bacon, everything is made better by Mob Wives.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Don't forget the token minority for comic relief.

      • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        And if it's an action film, he dies first.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Them's some tuff mofos. Got a honey badger as their office mascot.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Well, it is Wisconsin.

      • Negropolis

        Yep, the Honey Badger State.

  • CliveWarren

    “People are interested in watching people do things, I guess”

    That is basically why I watch porn, I guess.

    • sezme

      Speaking of which, be sure to tune into this live feed after 2:00am Central Time. Boom-chick-a-wow-wow, if you know what I mean.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Only if Sideburns is there. I'm a sucker for dark hair.

      • CliveWarren

        I think I know what you mean… The will be a bass player, right?

        I'll wank to that!

    • horsedreamer_1

      Bree Olson is a gob creator.

  • meatlofer

    On Tuesdays,they watch the Kittens and Puppies get put to sleep.

  • ExecutorElassus

    holy shit. It's image macros in real-time, with notes of apocalyptic inevitability and absurdist political comedy all in one. There's a Pandora station for it now, too.

    This is some kind of Zen Koan, I'm sure of it. If we watch this enough, maybe we'll all achieve enlightenment.

    • flamingpdog

      Is Zen Koan anything like Ken Layne?

      • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        I just realized that "Ken Layne" is an anagram of "El Kenyan"!!

        We are down the rabbit hole, people.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          Oh, this deserves wider distribution.

        • flamingpdog

          Or "Le Kenyan". Illegal or French? YOU decide!

      • ExecutorElassus

        No, more like Alvin Greene. As Jack Stuef said about him – back in the day, before he went wherever he is now (writing about The Homosexuals?), when he was doing the Daily Briefing – "The Master arrives without leaving, sees the light without looking, and achieves without doing a thing."
        If you watch the most asinine, inane thing – which coincidentally carries enormous political consequence – without any sensory input, it becomes the secret to enlightenment. Or, uh, surrealist sexcapades. You decide!

      • Negropolis

        Zen Koan? Hey, I knew that guy. He is a surfer dude from Santa Monica.

  • sezme

    Sideburns, Flirty, and Stockton, it should be noted, are all proud members of the International Brotherhood of Petition Counters Local 3654. Kochsucker doesn't stand a chance.

  • C_R_Eature

    "Allright! Whereinhell are Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful n' Doc? I better not find 'em doin' one-hitters in the stockroom again!"

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      To do that all day ya'd have to be one toke over the line sweet Jeebus.

      • C_R_Eature

        "ONE toke? The poor fool. Wait until he sees these goddamn Bats."

  • Radiotherapy

    These must be the 250,000 jobs he promised to bring to Wisconsin.

  • Callyson

    I recommend watching with some reggae in the background. Hypnotic.
    Wow, maybe I need to get out more…

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      I watch everything with reggae in the background. Even porn.

      • Chichikovovich

        What do you think Bob Marley and the Wailers were wailing about?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Vote-countin' gone wrong?

        • flamingpdog

          Based on the rhythm, I always assumed that they were wailing about having one leg an inch shorter than the other.

        • sezme

          No Walker, No Cry.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            #1 with a bullet!

    • Barrelhse

      Take a nice break and thumb through a couple of phone books.

  • Radiotherapy

    You could get cross-eyed just watching that.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

    Most meaningful SexyCam show ever.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    A "Cask of Amontillado" reference? KBJ really was an English major.

    • nounverb911

      Needs more bricks.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Roger Waters Libel.

        • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          You sure it's not Ignatz Mouse libel?

      • poncho_pilot

        that's what they told Ivan Denisovich.

    • Guppy

      For the love of God!

    • Chichikovovich

      A nice thought, but instead of "Scott Walker's Reign of Terror" in the Fortunato role, why not simplify and just make it "Scott Walker"?

    • C_R_Eature

      "For the Love of God, Montressor – it's a Hanging Chad!"

    • fuflans

      i probably would have gone with 'fall of the house of usher' for my 'entombed alive' reference, but really, there is just nothing wrong with poe.

      Requiescat In Pace! scott

      • Negropolis

        You really can't go wrong with him. The Tell-Tale Heart would have also sufficed.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Three, give the go-ahead for U.S.-based Mossad agents to take out a governor deemed unfriendly to organized labor, dismembering him and hiding his heart 'neath the floorboards.

    • KBoydJohnson

      Worse… a history major.

      • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        NERD!!!!!!!!!!!

        (I think I love you)

      • C_R_Eature

        And you don't have a Million Dollar job with Fannie Mae? Shame!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Apparently, you either need to *have* or *be* a dick to get those jobs. So sorry, KBJ doesn't qualify.

      • flamingpdog

        History is bunk.
        But Kirsten's good for my funk.
        Pdoggie is drunk.

        • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Think I'll watch Monk
          And give my donut a dunk
          Cause that gal's got spunk.
          (I fall over–THUNK!!)

        • bagofmice

          I'll be in my bunk.

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            Ah it's friday lets get krunk.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        At least one of us made good…

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Ironic, whenever I'm wallowing in regret over my film degree, history is one path I think I would have enjoyed pursuing. Oh well. Try commenting more often so we can get your p score up, I'm sure that will compensate.

        • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

          Way to go, prompting KBJ to comment! — I imagine that would seem an achievement, at least I'd be sitting here beaming to myself about it~

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Newt must infuriate you.

        • tessiee

          Safe guess, since Newt infuriates most people.

  • edgydrifter

    All catastrophes are 1,000 times more awesome in super slow-motion. Fact.

  • MissTaken

    Flirty and Sideburns are totes the Bates and Anna of Wisconsin.

    • flamingpdog

      Or the MasterBates and Johnson of Wisconsin.

  • cheetojeebus

    I think I just saw a cameo by Wilfred Brimley?!

    • C_R_Eature

      Was he the guy who walked by, carrying a package that had all he needed for his Diabeetus?

      • cheetojeebus

        OMG!1 U saw him 2!!11

        • C_R_Eature

          It's not just you. I just hope it's not that the Video feed is growing a new organ in our brains…

    • DahBoner

      Shag Hag.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    And just when I was losing my faith in Democracy™³²®©!

    *sniff*
    ~

    • Loaded_Pants

      I must say that almost 2 million signatures is impressive. How much you wanna bet some Walker bots come out of the Koch factories to contest most of them?

      • Negropolis

        Just to be clear, it was just over a million, which is still unprecendented.

        • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

          I think 2 million was the total for all the different people they want to recall. There's like 5 of 'em, not just Walker. The "just over a million" is just for Walker I think.

          • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Ayn Rand Paul Tard

            Can we recall 2 million politicians?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            And do the same thing to them as we do to recalled cars? Why not?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Send them to the dealer (Koch Bros. Corp. Inc. Ltd.) for a retrofit? Better to switch brands entirely.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I was under the opinion that they, you know, squashed them into little car-cubes. A fate that would not be too unpleasant for those of us who have to put up with their various yawpings.

    • flamingpdog

      I hope I never lose my faith in vampire slayers.

  • sezme

    I have to admit, this is pretty compelling stuff. I particularly like Southpaw "Lanyard" McChinbeard.

  • bumfug

    Call me when the republican assault team gets there.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Wait 'till the red Swingline stapler shows up on the table — that's when it's gonna get really interesting.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I would like to see Betty White join the cast as the wacky neighbor.

    • AlterNewt

      Hawt.

    • tessiee

      Of any show, actually.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I keep waiting and waiting, and yet no one has removed their clothes yet. This is not what I've come to expect from web video!

    • tealsheart

      Look closer, she's only using one hand for the counting, the other remains under the table. And why are different men taking turns sitting next to her?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Are we sure this is the recount, and not some people processing orders for Ol' Milwaukee?

  • TeaNuts

    HELLO Texas, Arizona, South Carolina, etc. Coming to a web cam near you!

    • C_R_Eature

      Will need Wide Field camera for those people.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Don't get your hopes up … first you have to get the signatures, and then you have to find people who can count. These are big numbers, too … 99% of 'merkins have no experience with them.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    What if it never stops??

    • MissTaken

      Fingers crossed!!

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      What if Cats! is now and forever!!!!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    "People are interested in GETTING JUSTICE, I guess."

    • flamingpdog

      Much better than in New Joisey, where they want to get Christie love.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Not any more from what I hear. They have have Christie-sized regret.

      • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        Wow–you may have named the only TV show of the 70's that hasn't been badly remade by Hollywood (yet).

  • Bluestatelibel

    So basically the American people really have very little to do throughout the day, don't they?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      And on into the night as well. These workers are heroes. (Sniff. Got… a little somethin' in my eye.)

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      You ask this on Wonkette?

  • C_R_Eature

    What if this is really Videodrome and all our brains start to mutate?

  • Naked_Bunny

    I can watch the webcam while I'm fishing on WoW. SUURGE!

    • Fare la Volpe

      Productivity Inaction!

  • horsedreamer_1

    Democracy in Wisconsin is still not as transparent as the 1%'s psychopathy.

  • JackDempsey1

    twitter entry: "Bald Stockton has spent the last hour trying to figure out how to steer the conversation to Game of Thrones."

    They don't have *at least* one power-mad, oversexed dwarf as an employee? I smell class action lawsuit.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Is anyone else fixated on Pearls right now? It feels wrong.

    • rickmaci

      …but so right !

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      You know there are several hundred men and a couple women out there fapping away to her page turning.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    The thousand injuries of Scott Walker I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon union-busting, I vowed revenge.

    • poncho_pilot

      The wine sparkled in his dead eyes and the bells jingled.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    The yule log video they show on Christmas Eve is much more compelling.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      But it isn't a job creator.

    • tessiee

      Huh huh huh, you said "log".

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Some angry pit bulls would spice things up nicely. (BTW is this a liveblog or what?)

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      It's a liveblog about nothing!

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        No, that's a liveblogging.

        • flamingpdog

          I feel like I'm getting liveflogged.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            By Bulgarians … so let it pass.

          • flamingpdog

            At Wonkette? Moar like Vulgarians.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I Do Think There's A Squatch In These Woods

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Fifty bucks the Smails kid picks his nose.

    • C_R_Eature

      I'll take some of that action.

      Look! He's goin' for it!

  • alzronnie

    Wisconsin could create jobs right now by hiring thousands of the unemployed to help with the counting. They get a paycheck and Walker gets canned: win-win.

  • fuflans

    you know, i get the feeling people really don't like governor scott walker.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    MOVE IT BALDSPOT YOUR BLOCKING PEARLS

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    The left-handed male, who I am calling "Chinbeard," is adept in the manipulation of simple tools, such as pencils and post-it notes. Although a female, "Pearl," sits near him, he has not so far initiated any courtship behaviours. While some might interpret this as an indication of sexual inversion (Hagee 2004), this apparent lack of interest may simply indicate that she is not currently in estrus.

    ———–
    (nicknames cheerfully stolen from others)

    • Fare la Volpe

      Speaking as someone who had to slog through buckets full of primate studies in undergrad, I love you.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        You got to watch "The Real World" for credit?!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Marlin Perkins in the house?

  • Schmannnity

    KOCH KAM

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Let's hope it's the Kock-block Kam.

  • Extemporanus

    I painted that room.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    That foreign-looking one is up to no good, I just know it. And that fat one keeps blocking the camera, what's that about? Is he stuffing petitions into his trousers?

  • Rotundo_

    This is Wisconsin in winter we're talking about here. Most bars close around two in the morning and ice fishin' and going from bar to bar on snowmachines are the only other things to do that are worth doing. Watching the pile of signatures grow is pretty exciting by our standards. It's the first time a governor has been held accountable for his actions here, we're pretty psyched eh?

    • fuflans

      rotundo (speaking as a resident of IL – and we know what you call us) i can say with some conviction that no one down here is making fun of WI anymore.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Good on ya, for getting it done!

    • DahBoner

      Bars close at 2?

      Where do people go then to continue drinking????

  • owhatever

    I warned her not to pick her nose and wipe the finger under her chair. I warned her.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Dude tells Pearls, "Hey look! Wonkette!!!!"

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Poor Gray Hoody–he looks bored.

    EDIT 15 minutes later: I knew it! He's gone now–he just wanted to go home.

    EDITED EDIT 45 minutes later: Oh, he's back. Just went to dinner or something. No wonder he was fidgety.

    Christ, this is fascinating….I think he just checked his text messages or maybe fed his Tamagotchi.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Can someone get a lollipop for Pearls?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Pearls looks like she wants to give Jenny Craig a lollipop, judging by the many extended smiles.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      How about a banana?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      And a trampoline.

    • tessiee

      "Can someone get a lollipop for Pearls?"

      *sound of 1000 male wonketteers unzipping pants*

  • Negropolis

    This looks like a very bad knock-off of The Office, but maybe Honey Badger could make it salveagable.

  • rickmaci

    The guy on the front left is playing Game of Thrones but has his printer set to churn out pages and pages of paper so it looks like he is counting.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    I watched it for a little while. I like to watch things on TV.

    • C_R_Eature

      Hi Chauncy!

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Being There reference! +1

        • C_R_Eature

          Thanks! Didn't know if anyone else would "get" that one, but it amused me.

          I swear, that film was all I could think about for the last 8 years when W did/said something stupid. Which was all too frequent.

          • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

            Now there's nothing left for him but the room upstairs.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Lou.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Ladies and Gentlemen, the Next President of the Unites States!

      • C_R_Eature

        Uh…we already did that. Remember how it turned out?

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Why I said Lou, for those that thought I was just deranged/drunk.

      Slightly different line than the Velvet's version.

      Satellite of Love

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        Things like that drive
        me out of my mind.

    • tessiee

      I like money.

  • C_R_Eature

    When's the Brooks Brothers Riot scheduled for?

    I'm going to set my alarm.

  • Negropolis

    Where it the nudity? I was told this signature verification process was clothing optional. Why has no one chosen that option? These are questions.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Wisconsin, January, and … umm … oops. Sorry.

      • poncho_pilot

        yeah, i was in Sun Prairie yesterday and it was 2 degrees out.

  • Negropolis

    Needz moar Yakety Sax.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      After they're done we can watch it again at high speed!

      • Negropolis

        Benny Hill reference FTW

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Only two people there now. If they're going home for the weekend, the locks they put on that place better be kryptonite. I wouldn't even trust a guard. They can be bought.

    • OzoneTom

      Even (especially) if they are Kryptonite locks, just let a little WI breeze waft across them for a couple of minutes and you can shatter them with a sledgehammer.

    • flamingpdog

      I just turned it on and they must be undergoing a second wind – five people sitting and some old balding guy blocking the view.

  • ElPinche

    Can't we just recall Scott Walker the old fashioned way , by hostile takeover followed by guillotine funtime ?

    • Negropolis

      Where should we set up the guillotine? Miller Park in Milwaukee or Camp Randall in Madison?

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Dude, it's Wisconsin. Lambeau Field, obvs.

        • Negropolis

          Total brain fart. How in the hell did I forget Lambeau Field?

          • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

            I presume you're a Lions fan and thus Lambeau Field has negative associations for you, so your brain blocks all thoughts of it for the sake of both your physical and emotional health.

            Now I'm picturing NFL Films filming Scott Walker meeting a guillotine in the middle of Lambeau – multiple angles, slow-motion shots of the blade dropping and his head skittering across the field, the announcer with that sonorous voice saying something like, "Skulls bounce high off the frozen tundra at Lambeau, even the skulls of subvocal mongoloids like Governor Scott Walker when he met his fate on a field once stalked by giants like Lombardi and Starr…"

          • Negropolis

            I presume you're a Lions fan and thus Lambeau Field has negative associations for you, so your brain blocks all thoughts of it for the sake of both your physical and emotional health.

            Too soon!

            Well, at least our quarterback doesn't look like a chronically ill llama about the face. Jus' sayin'.

          • tessiee

            "slow-motion shots of the blade dropping and his head skittering across the field"

            At which point, the fans would have to bounce it over their heads, like a beachball at a concert.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Whoa, Jenny Craig just gave Chinbeard Lanyard the what-for.

  • C_R_Eature

    Okay, it's been an hour and no one's gotten nut punched, set on fire, jumped out of a window or vomited.

    Worst episode of Tosh.0 ever.

    • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Ayn Rand Paul Tard

      He's just going through an 'artsy' phase. I bet before it's over someone drops a deuce on one of the desks.

      • C_R_Eature

        Well, that's a relief. Maybe they'll hold a Guacamole and Ipecac challenge.

  • fuflans

    where do the lizard people stand on all this?

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      On the NECKS OF HARDWORKING AMERICANS!!!!!!!!!

    • C_R_Eature

      Slide 'em a box of Guinea Pigs and they'll do anything you want.

    • OzoneTom

      Are they active in Wisconsin? I thought that they were only a power in Minnesota.

      One more reason to be hopeful about the future, I suppose.

      • SorosBot

        Well according to David Icke, they're a power everywhere; the British royal family and the Bushes, among others, are really reptilian aliens in human disguise.

        • tessiee

          "the British royal family and the Bushes, among others, are really reptilian aliens in human disguise"

          Where would he get such an idea? By looking at photos of them, or by the inept way they imitate human life forms?

    • Negropolis

      Why, on all fours, of course…that is, at least while us humans aren't watching.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I didn't know they stood. I thought they slithered.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    All that 4LOKO is probably gonna make Chinbeard's breath smell.

    • ttommyunger

      Never forget, bad breath is better than no breath at all.

  • Bluestatelibel

    Enough of this bullshit, we need Mitt Romney and Bain Capital to come in and fire these sluggards… one person in China could do all the work for one-tenth the price, and those PCs are worth good money, plus the small mammal. And that chick in front looks lie she's falling asleep, lazy communist hippie. Thanks, and remember to pay my $250 K consulting fee.

    • C_R_Eature

      This entire Recount can be shipped to Afghanistan and no one has lost any.

      • emmelemm

        Without a doubt…

        • C_R_Eature

          Yeah, all these people are Worthly Skum. Anyhow.

  • Mahousu

    Wait a sec – 5Nines.com? That is, 9-9-9-9-9? Herman Cain, you devil! This and the Colbert business- what are you trying to pull?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Your move, Andy Warhol.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Uh oh, paper jam in aisle 3.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Post-its come in more colors than just pink, ya know.

    • flamingpdog

      Commie post-it notes come only in pink.

  • OKthennext

    That's some boring shit. However, it is like a little United Nations in there at this moment. Which is kinda awesome.

  • Extemporanus

    I believe that the color is called "White".

  • fitley

    I'm curious as to how many Mike Hunt signatures they got. But that's just me.

    • tessiee

      A few more than, "Hugh Jass", "Al Coholic", and "Ura Snotball", but many more than, "I'm a big fat stupid moron, with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt".

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4uC38yp-iI

  • C_R_Eature

    I'm watching Rachel Maddow now and she's an Awesome bartender.

    She just rescued an errant egg yolk from a mixed drink tumbler (Whites Only!) during the construction of something called a "Millionaire" cocktail. That ain't easy.

    Also, she said "Frothy." Huh huh huh, huh huh.

  • flamingpdog

    Everybody's wimped out, huh? No posts for the previous 28 minutes. Too bad you all missed the female streaker!

    • C_R_Eature

      I thought that was Wilford Brimley.

      • flamingpdog

        OK, now I won't be able to sleep tonight.

        • C_R_Eature

          Bwa ha ha!

  • Steverino247

    An elf just came in with another stack of paper for Pearl…

  • Steverino247

    I wonder if Pearl's hubby is whacking off to this webcam?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    This reminds me of Jennycam. Man, that seems like a long time ago.

    • HistoriCat

      It was a different internet back then my friend – free and open. *sigh*

    • mayor_quimby

      Dude, you are like 124 in internet years! Me too, actually.

  • Extemporanus

    It took me about four hours.

    • Barrelhse

      Try stroking faster….

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I take it back. This is more like one of those puppy-cams or eagle-cams.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I think this is a very hard game of Dungeons and Dragons.

  • flamingpdog

    Needs C-Span commentary to make it even more soporific.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Boner would pull the plug on that shit pronto. Transparency and a free press are all well and good, but the job-killing Obama administration is placing an unprecedented burden on the American people, and they're not going to put up with it any longer.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      The callers screeching about ACORN!!! might be entertaining.

  • flamingpdog

    Somebody needs to go out and bring back a box of flag pins.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Flag pins, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Diet Sierra Mist.

  • flamingpdog

    Don’t let the fact that there’s no audio bother you

    I love hi-deafinition video.

  • sezme

    BREAKING: Pearls' pen just ran out of ink, and Lanyard flung a new one at her from across the table. The sexual tension is palpable. I wonder how much weight that table can hold.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      It looks to me like Scarf-face with the streaked hair and tights who flounces in and bends over the table might be the one who puts out. She looks like she's maybe 120, 125 tops. Lanyard doesn't look too heavy, either.

      Now, if Toupee gets some action, the tables could give way. I understand the floor is rated to three tons, though.

      Jesus, this is getting hot.

  • flamingpdog

    Maybe if I went and got my high-powered binoculars and turned out all the lights in the house, watching this would be more exciting.

    • poncho_pilot

      needs moar Jimmy Stewart.

  • BarackMyWorld

    This is just like "The Office" back when it was good.

  • Radiotherapy

    Worst. Bukkake. Ever.

  • Extemporanus

    Actually, now that I think about it, it was probably more like six.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Painting?

    • Radiotherapy

      Yeah, that Viagra is strong, you must have sprained your wrist.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Should have called his doctor, no?

        BTW, does anyone know what the heck the doctor is supposed to do? (My doctor is sort of cute, and she might be able to help, but in general …??)

        • poncho_pilot

          they apply leeches to remove the bad blood.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            You know a solution is excellent, when the mere thought of it is enough to solve the problem.

        • flamingpdog

          She'll send you to a specialist – Dr. Lorena Bobbit.

    • Extemporanus

      Now just what the heck are you two talking about?

      My apologies if you somehow missed part of my story. I'll start over and go a liitle bit slower so that you can keep up…

  • Extemporanus

    Anyway, as I was saying, I painted that room.

    • Radiotherapy

      Dear Penthouse, I never thought this could happen to me, I had just dropped out of college, and I was painting a room….

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Looks like you missed a spot, over there on the right.

  • BarackMyWorld

    OT: Has anyone seen anyone in the media deconstruct Newt's tantrum from Thursday night for logic/factual accuracy? All the reporting I have seen on it has either heaped praise on his agility and/or condemned John King for asking the question.

    Is anyone examining his answer point by point?

    For example, how the role his daughters played in trying to get ABC to not air the interview isn't remotely relevant since Newt and Marianne Gingrich never had any children together?

    What about how Gingrich is accusing the press of helping Obama by attacking him, even though there were three other Republicans on that stage who are not Obama, but would also like to see his campaign collapse?

    • Negropolis

      None of that matters. Debates are pure stagecraft; his answer doesn't have to make sense so long as it sounds good, and boy, it can not be denied that he hit that out of the park no matter how illogical the answer actually was.

      • BarackMyWorld

        My mind refuses to abandon logic that easily. It's like my brain is Rick Grimes and logic is Sophia, and Newt's rant is zombies and Wonkette is the barn.

        • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Ah. I don't know how closely the TV series will follow the comic, but without any spoilers, I can assure you that your brain shouldn't get too attached to anyone or anything.

    • SorosBot

      And um, isn't the media hurting Obama by attacking Gingrich, who Obama would simply destroy in the general election?

      • BarackMyWorld

        And there's that….

    • mayor_quimby

      Yeah, I noticed that shit. Who brings their daughters into a open marriage discussion with their stepmom? Why would they have any idea? It is an APPALING line of reasoning.
      The moderator should have said 'I'm waiting for an answer, you sanctimonious asshole'

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Mittens just wandered in, whispering about Income Inequality.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Are objects or people going to start flying around and smashing into things? Stigmata outbreaks? 13 year old girls scuttling across the ceiling like crabs? That is the only reason to have a webcam.

  • flamingpdog

    Oh, looks like everybody's gone home for the night. Lots of free computer hardware for the taking, Wisconisin Wonketeers!

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    I just took a peek, still shot of an empty room. Fucking time zones.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Its like looking at an African water hole.

  • gigamod

    Honey Badger don't care! Thanks, Wonkette, for existing. Been a lurker for a while, now registered. Spent some time lately mucking through Daily Caller, Wash Times, and Faux News, and their comments. I has a sad for America.

  • gigamod

    Honey Badger don't care! Thanks, Wonkette. Spent the day in Daily Caller, Fox, and Wash Times comments. I now has a sad for America. Wonkette is my heroin relief. Danke.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    No, you're not dreaming! It's your name! We made the front page!

    Vassili Zaitsev:Enemy at the Front Gates

  • SaintRond

    Here's another really swell cam I can spend hours at practicing my Zen, showing rats 24/7 at the Oregon Museum of Science & Industry. http://www.omsi.edu/ratcam

    Peace… God bless…

  • Beanball

    I'm watching this at 5:30 AM PST. A room devoid of life, nothing stirs, just the silence of the utilitarian chairs, folding picnic tables, industrial cinder block walls, monitors awaiting their morning jolt of electricity.

    Watching this reminds me of Warhol's Empire, but minus the pretty clouds.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Riveting no?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Hey everybody! They're coming back! Where's my popcorn!!!!!111!

  • JackDempsey1

    It could use a play-by-play guy, so that you know when to return to the action. Nothing crass ("Hey Chinbeard, this Bud's for you.") More hushed and golf-y. Something that respects the mise-en-scene.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Five nines meh. We want six nines accuracy to make sure Walker's lynching recall is assured.

  • Harry_S_Truman

    I have now sullied myself in the seedy world of campaign super pacs (Americans for a Better Tomorrow Tomorrow). I feel so dirty. Now can I vote for Herman Cain?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Needs song:
    Hot For Recall Petition Verifiers

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Heh… from the twitterz of last night:

    I will give $100 to the first person on @recallcam to bring in a red Swingline stapler and set it on the table in the middle of the room.

    someone's gonna start writing recallcam fan fic, I fear!…."They reached for the scanner, and as their fingers met, she felt his warm touch and knew she would be safe in his sideburns."

    "My loins burned with 1.9 million tiny fires that only her embrace could extinguish"

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    NBC's Chuck Todd Toad lit into Stephen Colbert on Thursday, accusing the Comedy Central host of corrupting the political process with his presidential run and Super PAC in South Carolina.

    No wonder I was losing my faith in Democracy™³²®©!

    Where's a bear when you need one?
    ~

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      How dare that jackanapes and his fans treat the democratic process like some kind of circus sideshow!

      As anyone who's paying attention knows, the democratic process is more accurately described as tranny midget snuff porn.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Someone inform Chuck that ship has sailed.

      And it was called Titanic.

    • C_R_Eature

      The time's long past when I've listened to anything that came out of that pigweasel Mediaostitute's mouth that I didn't assume was carefully crafted to fit into the "Conventional Wisdom that All the Cool Kids Want To Hear" Box so that he can keep up his fantastically lucrative Day Job, TV spots and Speaking Engagements.

      It's why people get into political journalism, after all.

      What? You thought it was to inform the public?!
      Ah, Ha hahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!! Ho. ho. hehehe. *gasp* *cough, cough*

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "corrupting the political process with his presidential run and Super PAC in South Carolina."

      Does Upptiy Chuck actually believe that Colbert created this problem?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Tell 'em about it Freddie.

    Big Leg Woman

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I was going to say that instead of a new election, they should just put Honey Badger down Walker's pants…but I reckon that Honey Badger doesn't give a shit*!

    *How many times has that joke been made?

    • mayor_quimby

      It does not matter. I still love all things honey badger related.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Ratings slump switch.

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      What were the producers thinking? There's no way the viewers will ever warm to this new "Cousin Oliver" character.

  • DahBoner

    Odd!

    These people appear to be working.

    This would imply there are jobs in America…

    • Chichikovovich

      Turns out Walker's a job creator after all.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      The unions haven't gotten to them yet.

      • QwertyToo

        That's because all the union thugs signed the petitions which means they weren't allowed to apply for these wonderful Scott Walker created jobs.

  • MissTaken

    Oh my god! Now there's a YELLOW post-it!

    • Blueb4sunrise

      What's it say?

      • MissTaken

        It's just a bunch of numbers: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42

        Hold me, I'm scared.

        • Blueb4sunrise

          It's the sign of the Powerball Beast.

        • Steverino247

          Go play them in tonight's CA Lotto and see if WI's good fortune rubs off on you. 8)

        • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Looks like your reference was Lost on many folks…

        • SorosBot

          Don't listen to Steverino; don't play those numbers, they're cursed!

          Also, I hold you.

          • Steverino247

            Curses! Foiled again!

          • HistoriCat

            "Also, I hold you."

            Wisconsin's not the only place with hawt undertones.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          They forgot to enter The Numbers!! Here comes Smokie!!

      • Biff

        NOT PENNY'S BOAT!

    • C_R_Eature

      Uh oh! We Are So Fucked.

  • C_R_Eature

    Outstanding!

    Names can backfire, though, as my friends withe their dog "Hurricane" found out…

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      When my Married Lover got me a betta fish in October 2009, I expected he'd last a few months at most, and so I named him Flushy. Little bastard lived until last summer.

      • C_R_Eature

        See what I mean!

        • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Maybe I should change the new fish's name from Darth Betta (Dark Lord of the Fiss) to "Gingrich For President (and I Hope Not To Win the Lottery)" ?

          • C_R_Eature

            Yes, immediately. And don't forget to forget to work UN Ambassador Palin into the name, too.

  • BarackMyWorld

    PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

  • BarackMyWorld

    I hope we get something resembling a SC liveblog later. The pure brilliance of this comments section needs to go (further) uncorrupted.

    • Steverino247

      We may have to pervert this thread to that purpose. But no deviated preversions, though.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud9zBKJJQe4

      • C_R_Eature

        As long as I don't have to answer to the Cocoa-Cola Company, I'm game.

        • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          It's no "pretty good weekend in Vegas", but sure, I'm in…

  • Biff

    Hey, it's caucus day here in Nevaduh, too. At least for the Dems, who as we all know already have their nominee, so I don't much get why all the bullshit. It's a crappy day outside, I really don't want to go anywhere, but I guess it's my duty to run the gauntlet of Paultards that are most certainly going to be there, as assuredly as the Westboro Baptist "Church" appears at the funerals of dead USAmerican soldiers…

  • SorosBot

    So who does everyone lust after most? For me it's the girl with the dark hair and glasses in the striped shirt; though I'd guess most of the mens would go for the blonde with the huge … tracts of land.

    • C_R_Eature

      The Honey Badger's mine. Back off, Man Machine Everyone!

    • Biff

      A waiflike creature just appeared from the right side of the view that I hereby lay claim to.

      • Biff

        And she's gone.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      The blonde needs a name … I'm calling her "Tammi", with a heart over the "i".

    • MissTaken

      I'm enjoying Oscar and his oral fixation

    • MissTaken

      Watch put Soros, Sweater Vest is making a play for your girl Stripes. I guess boys do make passes at girls who wear glasses.

      • SorosBot

        It does look like they're getting flirty there, doesn't it? Let's cheer those two cute kids on; they might be this show's Sam and Diane.

        And I love glasses; they make a cute girl even cuter to me. Well as long as they're decent glasses; even the most attractive woman won't look good in those giant old people's glasses.

        • MissTaken

          Hmmm….good to know.

          • SorosBot

            Aw now she's gone and it's just a sausage fest in there, and I haz a sad. But there's a good deal of man-candy for you.

  • lulzmonger

    Gosh, this looks like it could take a really long time.
    Guess I'm going to have to pace myself.

    (fap ………… fap ………… fap ………… fap ………… fap …………)

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Newt in the lead is hard to believe – until – I think of the people I know who moved to S.C.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Here's a labelled pic of the night shift, sort of a follow up to the pic at the top of this Wonkett page. (I didn't make it, it's buried in the twitter feed.)

  • ThundercatHo

    Yuck, hunchy guy in commando sweater was just picking his face and sniffing his fingers. They need to put a sticky note on their monitors "Don't pick your nose or anything gross since you are ON CAMERA, LIVE!"

  • ThundercatHo

    OT: Anybody hear about the cat who was shot right through its whole body (shoulder blades) and survived? The vet who performed the surgery to remove the arrow has named the cat "Cupid". Now there is a sick sense of humor we can all appreciate.

    • Chichikovovich

      Not bad, though I would have gone for "Saint Sebastian" myself.

  • HuddledMass

    Oooo, there was a little meeting, and then they all left. What am I going to do with my Saturday?

    Wait they're back, laying out piles of work! Yay! Let the games recommence…

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    If it's yellow, let it mellow.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    News:

    Gingrich Surging From Behind!, he snickered.
    ~

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      There's libel to santorum (santorum lible??) all over the LSM if Gingrich neuters Mittens in the Palmetto State today. What would be next, Ron Paul giving the other three orange suppositories in Florida?

  • SaintRond

    Go here instead. All the action you'll ever want.
    http://www.omsi.edu/ratcam

    Peace… God bless…

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      I'd say there otter be a law, but iffin' I did, I'd likely get banhammered.

      • Steverino247

        I've been to both of those museums. Very cool stuff!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Come on now … we're here because we DON'T want to see the GOP candidates.

  • Extemporanus

    SORTED

  • Biff

    Tried to liveblog my caucus, but there was no wifi or 4G service and my phone went all re+arded on me. Windy as hell, trees down, my BBQ down, parts of my roof gone, and what may be the worst thing, Paul yardsigns down. Oh, the humanity…

    fuckin' administrator, anyway

  • HistoriCat

    I like Green Sweater with Glasses Girl – she's my pick.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Absolutely … skinny girls with glasses are the wildest. Just ask your imagination.

  • Soylent Green

    Still slightly better than Downton Abbey.

  • Warpde

    And here I thought Internet Porn was the only thing that could get me off.

  • MissTaken

    Do not get too attached to Red Shirt. You KNOW he will be killed off first.

    • Biff

      Upfist for Star Trek reference.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Does anybody know how, exactly, they "verify" a signature, while sitting in this room? I mean, you can probably find out that a registered voter with that name lives at that address … is that really all it takes? Because you know ACORN would just totally own these people.

  • ttommyunger

    Needz Chuck Todd and Lindsay Graham doing the blow-by-blow, heh, heh.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Aww, baybee! Is this to make up to me for cheating on me with that slut? All is forgiven, come home, Li'l Biff! (Hugs teh Biff)

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Is that Wite-Out they left on the table?

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I want to know more about Flirty. And did Sideburns sit next to her, or did she sit next to him? Also, it's reeeeally unprofessional to let Honey Badger walk on the signature stacks. Honey Badger doesn't give a fuck.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Who gave them Sunday off? I will not rest until I get an answer.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Wow, Week 02 already!! Time flies…