Give the state back to Mexico, pronto!In a page right out of Newt Gingrich’s alternate-history science-fiction wingnut-polygamy utopian epic Candyland Space Land, the school district in Tucson has completely banned Mexican-American studies, seized all the textbooks and even wall posters from the classrooms, and punished the students who protested by sentencing them to janitorial duty. The self-hating Latina lady who oversees the now-illegal ethnic studies program even comically told the kids, “Mexico is where Mexican studies is taught, not America!” Why oh why does the Newt have to be in stinky old South Carolina during such a historical moment in stomping the Mexican, for freedom?

The insanely racist Arizona law, HB 2281, specifically targets ethnic studies in the public schools. Tucson’s Mexican-American Studies program was specifically shut down to meet the law’s requirements, although administrator Lupita Garcia — who sure sounds like a Mexican to us — seemed utterly delighted to shut down the district’s program and shout racist idiocy at the students.

The students bravely marched five miles from Cholla High School (better change that name!) to the Mexican-American Studies headquarters … and as punishment for this crime against white society, they were all put on janitorial slave duty. Sounds like Tucson needs to be occupied! (Weather is very nice this time of year. It’s a good season for a Mexican-sounding revolution.) [Guardian/Tucson Citizen]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • nounverb911

    Is it still safe to study French?

    • Geminisunmars

      If by French you mean Freedom, then by all means.

    • a_pink_poodle

      It's referred to now as Freedomese

    • fartknocker

      Freedom Fries!

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Only in France and North Africa.

    • Steverino247

      Freedom kisses and ticklers for everyone!

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        But of course. Oui!

    • TheMeatmaker

      Sure. They've never done anything revolutionary, right?

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Apparently not if you're Mitt Romney.

  • Barb

    I'm just thrilled that Rick Perry is going back to Texas just in time for Black History month. He's going to be so well received!

  • nounverb911

    South Carolina tips it's hat to Arizona.

  • Mexico is where Mexican studies is taught, not America!

    They aren't even trying to make sense anymore, they just shout their insane racism from the rooftops.

    • Loaded_Pants

      And Science should only be taught in Sciencia & Math in Mathmatistan!

      • Callyson

        We have always been at war with Sciencia.

        • Loaded_Pants

          Ever since we finally found it on Google Earth. We had to go to war with them, they had Weapons of Mass Instruction.

          • Negropolis


      • NYNYNYjr

        I would have gone with Mathganistan

    • chascates

      What kind of elitist would major in 'English' literature when there is so much American literature?

      • Loaded_Pants

        What did Shakespeare or Chaucer have that Harold Robbins didn't have?

    • Veritas78

      Just wait 'til we give Tejas back to Mexico.

      (And we should start referring to it as that, if only to offset all those "Democrat Party" references.)

      • NYNYNYjr

        Did you know in the 1800s when the Yucatan seceded from Mexico, they asked the U.S. for military support, but we refused, so the country of Texas was hired for several years to lease their army and navy to them.

  • JackObin

    Arizona, Florida, Texas. Clearly, too much sun and excessive ambient temperatures are not a good thing.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Cranial cavities turn into little ovens that bake their brains.

      • Negropolis

        Easy-Bake ovens, even.

        • valgal2342

          Oh I don't know… is 30 degrees back home and it is in the upper 70's here on the beach in Florida… good thing for me!

  • Not_So_Much

    Did Lupita shit on the floor in front of them when she assigned janitorial duties? Would seem to be in character…

    • OzoneTom

      Anyone who thinks that kids will make good janitors never saw my room when I was growing up.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Seriously, when my parents often saw my room, they always thought that some drunken thief had broken into the house but only ransacked my bedroom.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Suggested Arizona State Motto:
    Education is for Stoopid People.

    • Callyson

      Arizona's state motto is Ditat Deus in Latin, translating as "God Enriches."
      Wingnuts–giving God a bad name since 1913…

      • Fare la Volpe

        God Enriches

        What? Plutonium?

        • Loaded_Pants

          Duh, God enriches the stupid.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Chico, don't be discouraged.

  • Wonderthing

    Kids, how's that self esteem thing working out for ya? Right, that's what I thought. Tell you what: Fuck the establishment and when they sentence you to janitorial duties, take a dump on the linoleum. It's gonna be your world soon. Let 'em know it.

    • I sincerely hope that the up coming generation is smarter then their parents and they send their racist parents, politicians and I guess, educators to the sidelines.

  • CommieLibunatic

    I don't really know what to say, so I guess I'll go with my first pick: Holy Fucking Shit.

    • FatalServerErrorFace

      You may be a Commie and/or a Libunatic, but you got that right – beyond H… F… S.., words fail.

  • Geminisunmars

    Bizarro world get bizarroier.

  • edgydrifter

    Mexicans Go Back To New Mexico!

  • meatlofer

    Tacos are out for hot lunch,also.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Aw man, but the tacos were the best.

    • MissTaken

      No more Taco Tuesday?? Ah crap.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      They are now called "toasted freedom cunts" That's OK with the governor…

      • littlebigdaddy

        THat's the fish tacos.

  • CapnFatback

    and as punishment for this crime against white society, they were all put on janitorial slave duty.

    What, was the kitchen already at its busboy quota?

  • Radiotherapy

    Remember in 1846 when we found the Weapons of Mass Destruction and trounced the terrorists out of Mexico? The kids will now have to learn these facts elsewhere.

  • Have they banned "Liberal Studies" yet?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      They're working on it, course by course. Before long the Arizona school curriculum will be "Arizona" prepared by Sheriff Joe Smith (nee Arpaio).

  • SexySmurf

    …punished the students who protested by sentencing them to janitorial duty.

    Or as it's now called in Arizona: African-American studies.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Well, how are they going to know how to clean white people's homes if you don't get them started early?

    • Negropolis

      That was so bad it's good.

  • Schmannnity

    Apaches, Hopis, and Zunis roll eyes.

    • MosesInvests

      Not to mention Yaqui and Tonoho O'odham, who live *in* Tuscon. Sheesh.

  • Lucidamente1

    Are we still in time to return the Gadsden Purchase?

    • CapnFatback

      You broke it; you bought it.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Things in Arizona are so bad even Mexico won't take it back.
      "No really, we'd rather put up with the drug cartels."

    • Steverino247

      I hear they're looking for the receipt in the National Archives and Library of Congress…

  • You know who else tried to shut down Mexicans?

    • CapnFatback

      The health inspector at Taco Bell?

    • Lucidamente1

      Emperor Maximilian?

    • nounverb911

      Napoleon Solo?

    • Schmannnity

      Chipotle Grill?

    • Schmannnity

      General Pershing?

    • Davy Crockett?

    • Winfield Scott?

      • Steverino247

        He didn't try. He did actually did it.

    • Selfish_T

      Bob Bradley?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Topo Gigio?

    • Schmannnity

      Senor Wences?

    • C_R_Eature

      Aldolfo Hitler y Polzl de Braunau?

    • SorosBot

      Hernando Cortés?

    • Dudleydidwrong


    • William Walker? The Knights of the Golden Circle?

      (Can't learn about them in school in Arizona, but at least wikipedia's back up!)

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Do you guys ever get the feeling that the only sane people in this country are the commenters at Wonkette, well, you know, except for the anal sex obsessing and such.

    • GhostBuggy

      <pops head in> Somebody mention anal sex?

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        BUTT PLUG!11!!!!!

        • Fare la Volpe

          Speaking of butt plugs, does someone wanna explain to this asshole that butt plugs do not work that way?

    • nounverb911

      Needs more santorum and blingees.

    • Ducksworthy

      I beg your pardon! The anal sex obsessing is a sign of mental health and, by Rick Santorum's standard, we are all qualified to be Prezinet!

    • Loaded_Pants

      You rang?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      "except for the anal sex obsessing and such. "

      You say that like it's a bad thing.

    • SorosBot

      Anal sex obsessing? Hey, around here we call it assfucking.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Ahem, CORNHOLING is the word.

    • C_R_Eature

      Crikey, here's a whole lotsa times I feel like I'm the only one who hasn't seen the Stars in that Asimov short story "Nightfall". So I go and read the comments here at Wonkette. And Laugh.

      Thanks Everybody!

    • Guppy

      What truly sane person isn't obsessed with anal sex?

    • Loaded_Pants

      I can't help it. I'm an ass man.

    • Limeylizzie

      After your comment to me, on another thread, I am firmly convinced of your sanity.

  • CapnFatback

    "Mexican-American?" That's gibberish, boy! You're either Mexican or you're American. The choice is ours.

  • SorosBot

    And there certainly doesn't seem to be anything racist about forcing Latino students to work as janitors, stereotyped as all black or Latino, for protesting racism.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Newt Gingrich prefers the term "preparing our children for their future."

      • Negropolis

        Yes, the future in The Terminator, apparently.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Please, who needs Mexican Studies? I learned everything I needed to know about Mexico from Speedy Gonzales cartoons.

    • Ducksworthy

      Including, the actual words to La Cucaracha including "Por que no tene marijuana que furmar". Which is, after all, the point of the song.

    • Loaded_Pants

      The major lesson I learned was that Mexican mice run really fast & wear little sombreros.

    • Negropolis

      Ah, yes; those were the days. Good, ole fashioned racism. lol

  • GhostBuggy

    Not that a bunch of high school kids are ever going to see this comment on this website, but do not give in to these fuckers. Fight them, protest them, walk out on them.

    • Loaded_Pants

      And talk shit to their faces in Spanish, or Mexicanese, or whatever they talk in.

  • iburl

    It's not like Arizona was part of Mexico for like 27 years.

    • savethispatient

      If you refuse to recognize the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, it still is!

      • Steverino247

        Well, the cool thing about that treaty, a copy of which I actually have around the house someplace, is that it guaranteed that those Mexicans who remained in the ceded (ok, grabbed quickly) territory would forever be allowed to practice their customs and speak their language.

        So, how can the Maricopa County Sheriff's Deputies tell if you're here illegally or a descendant of those Mexicans who became Americans by treaty?

        THEY CAN'T!

        • Loaded_Pants

          They don't have to. Like the blahs, they all look alike, don't they?

          • Steverino247

            Only if you close your eyes to the truth.

  • fartknocker

    I'm confused. No Mexican-American studies are allowed at the Tucson schools yet the locals want the chimichanga to be the official state food:

    • BerkeleyBear

      Tuscon itself was all for ethnic studies – hence the need for the "local government" faction to suddenly decide the state knows better than the local school board and ban it because it makes Mexican kids feel for just a second like the world isn't constantly trying to jam a shit taco down their throats..

    • MightySix

      You mean Freedom Pouches?

      • Loaded_Pants

        I hate those Freedom Pouches, all the filling drops out the other end.

    • James Michael Curley

      But truth as strangeness goes even further. They claim the chimichanga was invented in AZ when a bumbling fry cook accidentally dropped a burrito into the french fry fryer.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    This isn't over.

  • From the Guardian: When students asked why European studies has not been banned, nor any other area studies discipline, the administrators had no response

    Silly students. European studies are classes about normal (white) people.

    • Fare la Volpe

      We don't like the term "white people." We prefer the term "Real Americans."

      • Swampgas_Man

        We're not "White People." We're just PEOPLE.

        The REST of y'all, on the other hand. . . .

    • England is where English is taught!

      • savethispatient

        Yes, in Engerland we speaks English right and propers like!

        • Negropolis

          Just ask the Cockneys!

    • fuflans

      i don't know how they figure this, 'europe' is what the kenyan wants us to be and also there is spain there and they don't speak american.

      also germany and hitler.

  • MissTaken

    The only things you need to know about Mexico is don't drink the water and Corona needs a lime.

    Now get to mopping!

  • Extemporanus

    This is una buena noticia for Mitt Romney.

  • edgydrifter

    Hey, forced junior janitors–you know what cleans shit up really well?
    I'm just saying.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Since I read this post & the linked articles, I've had "Another Brick In The Wall" playing in my head.

  • Callyson

    The photo of Lupita Garcia in the Tuscon Citizen article is truly frightening. Crazy eyes on steroids, without the good hair and plastic surgery.

    • Loaded_Pants

      I think the look in her eyes was a result of her realizing her name seems too Mexican-y.

  • And when will Arizona start to require armbands to make life easier for Sheriff Joe?

  • Callyson

    Happy MLK day to you too, Arizona…yes, I know it kills you to be reminded that it's a holiday despite your best efforts to the contrary…

  • ElPinche

    Haha…give it some time. Soon the USA will be drowning in chile verde and chimichangas. TV will be 100 channels of 8 hr variety shows filled with big boobed women and reggaeton. We'll punish the gringos and exile the pochos like Garcia to Wisconsin (New America). It will be like hunger games but with pinatas.

    • Yes, tell my Cable Provider to embrace this big-boobed future! Hold the blackface comedy bits though, please.

  • cheetojeebus

    <stunned silence>

  • Selfish_T

    So the bill banning ethnic studies came to be largely through the efforts of Republican Public School Superintendent Tom Horne, who was pissed off about Dolores Huerta saying that "Republicans hate Latinos". Great job proving her totally wrong, Tom!

  • Who wants to eat chiminichangas next year? Not me! With me, it will be summer all year round

  • BarackMyWorld

    Honkies still be trippin'.

  • And the very day after the long-discussed ban on Mexican-American studies was finally implemented, State Rep. Terri Proud (and I'm not proud to say she represents my district), introduced two bills that would allow Bible studies to be taught in Arizona's public schools. (Why have one when two would be twice as nice.)

    Currently, nothing prevents Arizona teachers from discussing the Bible but that's not enough for Proud who maintains she's heard from "many teachers" who are "fearful of even mentioning God or the Bible in the classroom." She says the teachers are terrified they will lose their certification unless the state legislature voices support for their desire to discuss Christianity.

    "We've put so much fear around any discussion of the Bible that I think it's really causing our kids to miss out," she said. Her bill says students should learn about the Old and New Testaments. She added (for its dog whistle factor, no doubt), "The Quran hasn't influenced Western Culture the way the Bible has." AS IF the Quran is being taught in Arizona schools.

    Proud says her idea is rapidly gaining support in the legislature. Ya think?

    • chascates

      What's the situation on sharia law in Arizona? Surely someone is working to prevent it taking over the local Justices of the Peace?

      • I think Sheriff Joe and the emerging star Sheriff Paul Babeau have that covered. If there's a Sharia Law loose in the land they'll swoop down on it with their stealth helicopters.

    • C_R_Eature

      Hey, I know Jersey's got Christie, the petrochemical stench of the Meadowlands, Seaside Heights, Camden , roads full of assholes and No Respect but …
      Dayum… Arizona? Arizona!?

      • It wasn't my idea of a place to live but family issues dictated. I WILL say, this place is every bit as horrifyingly amusing as anything New Jersey ever came up with. Every day is Arizona is like a meeting of the Asbury Park City Council and School Board combined.

        • C_R_Eature

          That entertaining, huh? In a "May You Live In Interesting Times" Chinese Curse kind of way? Good thing you've all of your Wonkette friends to pop off to.

          I left for Career reasons and stayed away for sanity.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      No Messicans in the Bible.

      • GregComlish

        Doubt it. Every Jesus I've ever met has been Mexican

      • How about the Book of Mormon?

  • Sassomatic

    And I bet those little brats aren't even grateful for the free job training.

  • What a shitty state.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Santorum trying to appear hip is like me rapping. Not going to happen.

  • owhatever

    And none of that socialist European history, neither, or dinnersaurs or Navahoes. Yea, Arizona, home of the smartest people in Arizona.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Needz moar pink undies.

  • Question: HB 2281 doesn't just ban "ethnic studies" per se, does it? Because it really seems like it prohibits, in particular, any education about any historic civil rights movement at all, and particular the bits that might suggest that historically oppressed groups were any less than completely fine and dandy with their historic oppression.

    I ask, because that sort of seems to me to be the inflection point between "ignorant and anti-education", and "virulently and insidiously racist". But Arizona's known for plenty of both, so I need some help ont his one.

    • We do word salad every bit as well as anyone in Alaska.

      Just because laws are passed here doesn't mean anyone is trying to understand them. The law will be interpreted any way the conservatives need it to be to get rid of someone they don't like. Then the lawsuits will begin.

  • Neoyorquino

    Thankless Mexican kids, thinking they are in Mexico. Can't they understand, we stole this land from the Indians, fair and square. (Lord help me, I lived at the border for five years and faced this caliber of stupid at point-blank range).

  • Dudleydidwrong

    C'mon, Florida! C'mon, South Carolina! C'mon, Tejas! Top that one. Show us which is the mostest craziest of them all. We know you can do it….but it'll take lots of effort to go Arizona one better.

  • Loaded_Pants

    Having learned the Pledge of Allegiance in elementary school, AZ high school students now have a chance to learn all about Lemon Pledge.

  • qwerty42

    From the news article:

    …One thing ALL OF THEM fail to mention is the federal court order on TUSD that requires the district to have the MAS courses and no less than the Ninth Circuit court has slapped Pedicone and his district with this deseg order telling them that have a racism against Latinos problem.

    The federal court order is very real, but somehow they only pretend that state ruling is the only thing that exists. Federal vs. State dealing with civil rights; we have seen this many times before which is appropriate for this all to occur right before the MLK holiday weekend. …

    So this is being done in defiance of a federal court order? Is this true? Anyone here from AZ? This sort of stuff didn't work so well in the south back in the 60's, so not sure why they'd think it works today.

  • C_R_Eature

    Cheer up! All of these ruddy, bloated,angry old bags of fear and superstition will die at around the same time.

    Then, Arizona (and Texas, et cetera) will become a majority Hispanic culture!
    A majority Pissed Off Hispanic culture.

    Uh oh.

    • fuflans

      Quetzalcoatl for the win!

  • fuflans

    i thought tuscon was the sane one?

  • That is incredibly vile.

  • Bring back the Indian schools, and send the browns there too! We'll beat the red and brown out of 'em!

    Your Home Room Teacher Is Armed!

  • mavenmaven

    In GOP Merka, we ban books for FREEDOMZ!

  • Antispandex

    "Why oh why does the Newt have to be in stinky old South Carolina during such a historical moment in stomping the Mexican, for freedom?"

    I agree. He should drop everything, as should we all, if there is a chance to kick around the muslins, or the messicans, or…well, the French. We can't take our freedoms for granted.

  • sati_demise

    In this Mex-Am study program they used Shakespeare's 'The Tempest' so this book was banned from the, school library.

    Tucson Occupy was going fine in a tiny park between Congress Ave. across from the Hotel Az. Did they get evicted?

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Arizona, the state that says, "Stop or I'll shoot!" while holding the gun the wrong way. On top of a recession that destroyed their major industry (real estate) they want to start a brain-drain. Can an entire state have a self-destructive streak? Every teeny-tiny way they can find to destroy future prospects, they're on it. Retired white bigots from the Midwest/Northeast suburbs, what it is.

  • Negropolis

    It's as if they are trying to help us take by Congress and the state legislatures that are up for re-election.

  • BZ1

    book-burning next??!!

  • BornInATrailer

    That Jan Brewer the riveter pic is great.

  • comrad_darkness

    If the U.S. of A. didn't want all those Mexican citizens in the country, why the hell did they invade Mexican territory in the first place??

    Can we give Arizona back, please? In exchange for oil or something useful.

  • MosesInvests

    Next up in Aryan Zone-all bodegas and taquerias will be marked with a yellow sombrero bearing an M in Gothic script.

  • DahBoner

    Cholla is also a cactus and Tucson is one of the most liberal cities in AridZoneUh…

  • ttommyunger

    Clever ploy that: using Governor Jan "Drinky Crow" Brewer's likeness on the ad. 'Course, it is based on what she would have looked like: 1. Thirty years ago. 2. Not anemic. 3. Not crack-whore ugly. 4. Not bat-shit crazy, also, too, as well as.

Previous articleGingrich Bashes Obama for Holding Elitist Town Hall in Disney World
Next articleSantorum Steals Apple’s ‘1984’ Ad In Misguided Attempt To Seem Hip