Newt Gingrich thinks it’s really inauthentic of President Obama to hold an event inside the gates of Disney World. It’s elitist, he implied, during an event of his own in Bluffton, SC on Thursday, because the event is “invitation only,” and it shows just how fake Obama is, because Disney World is not a real place. Main Street, USA, Disney World is not the same as Main Street, USA, America! And the whole thing proves that Obama is not only out of touch, but self-important, for thinking he’d need the event location to be secured. Who does this guy think he is?

“[T]hey’re apparently closing half of the Magic Kingdom” for the event, Gingrich said, “for which I apologize to all the people who for months have planned to take their children and go to the Magic Kingdom, but after all, who are they compared to Obama?”

Then Gingrich realized he was kind of insulting Disney World, which, oops, he actually loves, and that he was going to call up Disney and ask them if he could arrange to have his own town hall meeting outside the velvet rope, so everybody can come.

But where does the candidate really stand on cartoons? He seems to enjoy invoking Disney while insulting people, saying during a Fox News debate last fall that the moderators were engaging in “Mickey Mouse games” rather than asking tough questions.

As for the fact that Obama’s event was intended to boost US tourism, Gingrich would probably respond that tourism discourages people from doing more important things, like cleaning school bathrooms. [Washington Post]

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  • nounverb911

    I've been to Bluffton and Newt, Bluffton is no Disneyworld.

    • fuflans

      damn, my former employers from hell were based in bluffton.

      terror flashbacks!

  • Beetagger

    Maybe Gingrich wanted an open meeting.

  • bureaucrap

    While he was there, Obama should have offered to appoint Newt "King of Conservative Fantasyland".

  • Barb

    I'm still going to vote for the coffee-colored gentleman over Newt.

  • MissTaken

    To be fair, "It's A Small World" is socialist. Not to mention the worst fucking song to get stuck in your head.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Much more appropriate for the Republicans:

      Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
      We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
      Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
      Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
      Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
      Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

      • Generation[redacted]

        That's why it's important we all support SOPA.

      • I'm kinda surprised I'm the first person to mention "Zippedi Doo Dah"

    • Gee….thanks.

    • SorosBot

      And now you've gotten it stuck in my head! This is revenge for all the bad earworms I've inflicted on you, isn't it?

      • MissTaken

        It took a while to come up with something worse than Afternoon Deelight, but Newt pulled through for me.

        And by the way, you owe me for the lost contact that popped out when I laughed at your poor kids need to work at Disneyland comment.

        • SorosBot

          Yeah I don't think I can top that; there is no worse song on Earth that I know of.

          And I'll pay you back with a – well to get into detail would probably inspire more "get a room' comments, but you can probably figure it out; it involves my tongue.

          • LesBontemps

            OK, get a room, you two.

          • MissTaken

            In any other circumstance, thinking about how you will pay me back with your tongue would be quite inspirational, ifyouknowwhatimean

            But, remember, this is a Newt thread, not the Huntsman daughters anymore.

          • SorosBot

            True; the image of Newt is a real boner-killer and, um, whatever the equivalent of boner-killing is for you ladies.

          • tessiee

            "whatever the equivalent of boner-killing is for you ladies."

            (the sound of ladyparts slamming shut)

          • jqheywood

            "Seasons in the Sun"?

            "MacArthur Park"? Especially the version sung (?) by Richard Harris.

          • At 17?
            Cats in the Cradle?

            Both of these songs make me contemplate suicide.

          • …that love was just for beauty queens….

          • GOPCrusher

            Pat Boone's cover of Paradise City

            /END OF THREAD

          • No way. Pat Boone's cover of Smoke On The Water.

            Oh gawd.

          • Terry

            You've obviously forgotten MacArthur Park. I understand that a cake was left out in the rain.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            There was a picture of that a couple threads back, I think.

          • Just remember, we expect her back safe, sound, and smiling fit to beat all when you're done. So if you're secretly a serial killer or something? Wrong girl to try it on.

          • SorosBot

            Don't worry, I intend to do everything I can to please her.

          • I hope it all works out, good buddy.

          • tessiee

            "there is no worse song on Earth that I know of."

            Welcome to the Hotel California!
            Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
            Such a lovely face (such a lovely face)
            Renting a room at the Hotel California,
            Any time of year
            You can find us here…

        • I think "Angel of the Morning" qualifies.

          • AAAAUUUUGGGHH!!

            Now that's stuck in my head.

            Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby

          • tessiee

            "Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby"

            An invitation to mooning if I've ever heard one!

          • Cheeky~!

            (reaches out for a quick pinch)

          • tessiee

            "Turn the other cheek" — Jeebus

          • I'll have none of that cheek from you, young lady. (Pinches the other cheek)

      • Don't worry.

        Be happy!

    • Steverino247

      OK, now we're even for my mentioning that "other person" in the Huntsman Daughters fantasy thread.

      It's a Small Wol…SHUT UP!!! Gah!

      • NO! NO!

        (beats Steverino with a wire hanger)

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Newt's a big dick, after all
      He makes us sick, after all
      He a dumb prick, after all
      Newt's a slime ball, after all

      • OneYieldRegular

        A thread like this really needs its own web site, but: "Watching Scotty Grow"?

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Yeah. "Scotty" may be my all-time vomit maker, but "Afternoon Delight" is close. No matter how bad a song is, none of them are as bad as the Republican sour chorus they're trying to sing. I'll listen to "Ayn-gell Of the Morning" ten times before listening to anything from the mouths of Mitt, Newt, or Ron.

  • SorosBot

    Disney pays their staff way too much; they should fire them and replace them with the poor kids who come to visit.

    • yrbmegr

      Think of all the janitorial jobs we could give to children at Disney World!

    • Geminisunmars

      One could stand at the entrance and be the greeter!

      • Terry

        That's clearly a job for a senior citizen. WalMart set that precedent.

        • Toomush_Infer

          Agism libel!…

        • Geminisunmars

          Yes, but the Gringrich also said being a greeter at school would be a suitable job for kids, along with the janitorial after school activities.

    • arihaya

      you just gave them more ideas …

    • That is just SO fucking cold. You need some kind of award.

    • tessiee

      They could replace those goddamn creepy singing robots.

  • OneYieldRegular

    So, you're a little kid, and you're at Disney World for the first time, and maybe on your first big vacation ever, and you maybe get a chance to see the President of the United States? Trifecta!

    • Crank_Tango

      Then imagine your disappointment when it's a black president.

      I guess it's like the time I thought the pitcher in the fridge had kool aid in it but it actually held iced tea.

      Newt is just trying to save American kids from that kind of horror, but we're too stupid to realize it, because Newt is smart.

      • True story: my mom once kept a urine sample in an apple juice jar in the fridge.

        • You KNOW my question, right? RIGHT?

          • Almost. But she happened by and caught me just in time. Alcoholic parents are grand.

          • My poor, darling girl (hugs you). Such a life.

      • tessiee

        "the time I thought the pitcher in the fridge had kool aid in it but it actually held iced tea"

        My mother, aunts, and grandmother liked to cook and bake from scratch. The two life lessons I learned from this as a child:
        1) Baker's chocolate does NOT taste like regular chocolate;
        2) Beaten egg whites do NOT taste like whipped cream.

        • HuddledMass

          Oh geez – the crushing disappointments of yesteryear. How you bring back the perils of counter-cruising …

    • LesBontemps

      The Hall of Presidents got nothing on the real thing.

  • nounverb911

    Newt then went on to criticize Obama for inviting future illegal aliens to Florida.

  • Schmannnity

    Gingrich for President rally should be held in Fantasyland.

    • Callyson

      I prefer Never Never Land.

      • tessiee

        Anything but Tomorrow Land.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Cupid Stunts will be Cupid. And Stunts as well…….

    • It is…every time they have 'em.

    • Terry

      Calista might suggest holding it at Tiffany's, or perhaps Marianne Gingrich's bedroom.

      • I'm sure Callista's much pickier now that she's got Newt's ring on her finger.

  • SexySmurf

    Fucking elitists live in Cinderella's Castle and work at their fancy jobs on Space Mountain after they ride the monorail.

  • BornInATrailer

    Oh no! I wonder if The Hall of Food Stamp Presidents was closed?!

    • "Four beers and seven meals ago…."

      • I thought that was four *score* beers, dood.

  • johnnymeatworth

    He's just pissed because Obama is the first president since Kennedy who could pull off a three-way.

    • hagajim

      While Newt just wants to pull a threesome.

  • "Hakuna matata, bitches!"

    — Barry to the GOP.

    • "Hasa diga, bitches" is much more like it.

  • DarwinianDemon

    Sarah Palin spoke at the Florida GOP convention last year at Disney World. Hey didn't that elitist just endorse Gingrich in SC?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      But not in Florida. Cunning, eh?

    • Yeah, and she thinks Marianne Gingrich's story will just make Newt "soar more." Although she could've meant "more sore." Spelling was never her forte.

  • ChernobylSoup

    And Mitt was there riding Pirates of the Caribbean, looking for some of his money.

  • EdFlintstone

    I thought elitist was owing Tiffanys a few hundred grand.

    • MissTaken

      No, that's capitalist

    • BornInATrailer

      This right here. To refer to anything Disney as elitist is fairly spectacular on its own. But when done by someone with a 500k Tiffany's account, it truly transcends the normal political bullshit doublespeak.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Again: what happens in Tiffanies' stays in Tiffanies – you'd have to ask Tiffanies about that…

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Owing isn't elitist. Paying is.

  • Gingrich is a Disney character.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Eh, he's more like a poorly-animated, third-world sweatshop knockoff of a Disney character.

      • Yea, like something out of that Futurama trash….

    • I'd say he looks most like a Smurf but I wouldn't want to insult the Belgians.

    • Callista sure looks like Cinderella's evil step-sister, doesn't she?

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Actually, he's more like that insulting, ego-centric rabble-rouser Mr. Potato Head on Toy Story, but less likeable.

    • nonbeliever7

      Slimy, the 8th dwarf.

    • tessiee

      Sarah Palin is fuckin' goofy.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This guy is fucking Goofy.

    • bureaucrap

      Callista AND Goofy; it's an open relationship.

    • Mahousu

      That's not a nice thing to call Callista.

      • jqheywood

        oooh…there are not enough upfists in the world for your comment!

    • You mean Dopey, dontcha?

    • chicken_thief

      Gay dog libel!!!!

  • OMG! The President is from the exotic foreign nation of Hawaii! And he holds a jobs conference in Disneyworld (thus neatly highlighting the quality of McJobs we'll all be in for in the coming decades) and Newt thinks that's ELITIST?

    • Cokie Roberts deserves a lifetime of being shit on by smelly hairy strangers for that comment about Hawai'i. Stupid fucking elitist bitch.

  • Lucidamente1

    Hey Newt Gingrich, you just got Rick Perry's endorsement! What are you going to do?

    • Schmegeg

      He is going to South of the Border.

    • Geminisunmars

      When does Perry say "Oops"?

      • Ah b'leev he's saying it even as he speak. Among a bunch of other blather, like claiming he's an ex-pilot so he can never get confused. (Wuh?)

  • veritass

    If Newt's taking the time to apologize to the children, then I will as well.

    Children of the world: I'm sorry that we (adults of both the United States of Real Americans and Not Real Americans) have devised a system and society which has given a rejected half-baked s'more marshmallow a chance to be the leader of our country. I just want you to know that after this election cycle, it gets better. Maybe.

  • Schmannnity

    He's just mad that Disney modeled the Dumbo the Flying Elephant ride after him.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh STFU, Newt, before Dumbo slaps you with a trademark infringement lawsuit.

    • mayor_quimby

      Or maybe an elephant cock …

  • Lucidamente1

    Didn't Mickey and Minnie have an open relationship?

    • LesBontemps

      Nah, he divorced her because she was fucking Goofy.

    • chicken_thief

      I think that was Popeye and Olive Oil.

    • Geminisunmars

      I believe that was Donald and whatshername.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Ivana Trump? It is so hard to keep all these cartoon characters straight.

        • Geminisunmars

          The Donaldo is a Disney character, isn't he.

        • Geminisunmars

          The Donaldo is a Disney character, isn't he.

      • Steverino247

        That would be Daisy Duck.

      • tessiee

        I never believed that Huey, Dewey, and Louie were really his nephews; I mean, come on, Donald goes around pantsless all the time.

  • But where does the candidate really stand on cartoons?

    Oh, come on, Liz! He's was Dumbo's stunt double, fercrissake!

  • MissTaken

    I'm a little shocked that Newt didn't dog whistle about how much Obama likes the Jungle Cruise.

    • Geez, he should hire you for his staff. He missed that one.

  • Veritas78

    Dear God, I know you haven't heard from me in a while, but this is extra-special: pleasepleaseplease let Newt be the Republican nominee just this one time.

    P.S. — loved the drafts of your book! Happy to help with the final edit.

  • bumfug

    Newt's Fantasyland involves threesomes.

    • Peter Pan, Pinocchio and Dumbo. Newt likes to watch.

      • tessiee

        "Lie to me, Pinocchio! Oh, you're a real boy!"

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      As does all of ours. As does all of ours.

  • Chichikovovich

    "for which I apologize to all the people who for months have planned to take their children and go to the Magic Kingdom, but after all, who are they compared to Obama?"

    Another sign of American decadence and loss of values, Newt: A lot of parents wait a long time and plan, so as to have a chance to see the President. And the kids find it pretty cool, too.

    • tessiee

      "I apologize to all the people who for months have planned to take their children and go to the Magic Kingdom, but after all, who are they compared to Obama?"

      I planned to stay middle class instead of becoming poor with little hope of ever regaining lost ground — but thanks to Newt and his pals, I didn't get my wish. Where's *my* apology?

  • …but I have to confess. As I thought this morning about the President flanked on one side by mag-ee ga gee ga gee ga gee

    was that for effect or just my computer?

  • BZ1

    Newt calling anyone else elitist is rich… (in irony, of course)

  • Didn't you notice Mowgli behind him in the photo?

  • Radiotherapy

    How soon we forget.
    And the prescient words of a Right Wing Watch commentor:
    No Hank, no Monday Night Football, ESPN, owned by far left leaning Disney struck back at Hank Williams today, taking his trademark, “Are you ready for some football?” song off fo [sic] the opening of Monday night football.

    Why? Williams dared to insult Disney darling Obama.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      "Far left leaning Disney"? Ha Ha. Hahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha.

      Oh, for fuck's sake.

      • Yes, Disney who will always be remembered by those who can still read as a red-baiting union-buster who hated "minorities," is now "left-leaning," in the alternative Gaga reality in which these dummkopfs live. Ai-yi-yi!

        • horsedreamer_1

          Did he want to repeal amendments 13-15? No. Ergo, leftist.

  • joshleefolsom

    Oh, who didn't see that coming the fucking second it was on the news this morning? I psychically read this whole story 8 hours before it happened, didn't you?

  • teebob2000

    GOD, I hope this turd gets the GOP nomination. Every fucking day of the campaign will be an adventure! And the Obama campaign HQ will be the happiest place on earth.

    • jqheywood

      "GOD, I hope this turd gets the GOP nomination. Every fucking day of the campaign will be an adventure! And the Obama campaign HQ will be the Happiest Place On Earth." ™


  • Shut UP Newt, too soon! You're going to give Rick Perry a sad, thinking of all the Beer Summit's he was gonna hold as President of the Magic Kingdom.

  • PsycWench

    Which half are they closing? If it's the overprice souvenirs and snack bar, I might make a special trip.

  • Baconzgood

    "who are they compared to Obama"

    Hmmmm….let's see here. They are NOT the POTUS! Ya think?

  • Extemporanus

    Disney World is Ground Zero for furries.


  • meatlofer

    I lost all respect for Disney, when they asked me to leave their resort for pissin in the corner pocket of the pool table. Assholes, I called that shot!

  • hagajim

    Must have something to do with Newt being there, my eyes saw Bluffton and my mind read Buffoon.

  • Lucidamente1

    Newt's just pissed because they made him sit in the back of Peter Pan's Flight.

  • Ruhe

    Shorter Newt: "Can you believe this guy…acting all presidential and stuff?''

    Newt, if it's real criticism of Mr. Obama that you're looking for please allow one of us disillusioned libtards show you the way. You're just not doing it right.

  • Ducksworthy

    The reptile house at the Bluffton County Zoo would be a more fitting venue for the Newt. (They have amphibians there too, right?)

  • SudsMcKenzie

    In all fairness, you have to clear space for Hopey's Four Unicorns wherever he goes.

  • Ruhe

    You know, while Newt's overall critique seems pointless and shallow he may have been using the phrase "inauthentic" in some deep existential or even Heideggerian sense. He's pretty smart, you know.

    • IncenseDebate

      Wasn't Heidegger a Nazi? Makes sense.

    • Geminisunmars

      That was my first thought too.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Newt's just pissed that President Obama is holding court in an expensive playground where slovenly middle-class folks wait docilely in line for 45 minutes for two minutes of disappointment, over and over again. He didn't think liberals were allowed in Republican fantasyland.

  • BornInATrailer

    If Newt was down there, he'd tell Jim Crow and the rest of his gang how to get a paycheck instead of singing about ears all day, suckling off the government teat.

    • tessiee

      "singing about ears all day"

      I've been thinking about this for almost fifteen seconds, and I *still* can't think of a song about ears.

      • BornInATrailer

        Weren't the crows in Dumbo going on about ears in the elephants fly song or am I not remembering? And wasn't the lead crow named Jim Crow?

        Or has the meth started to take its toll?

        EDIT: The song never mentions ears…

  • Baconzgood

    At least he kept the whole Walt Disney Hitler thing out of the picture.

  • Newt and the Slurm Factory

    • Generation[redacted]

      Captain Newt Brannigan.

  • Stubenville

    I am so damn tired of the mischaracterizations and half truths that spring endlessly from the lips of the Republican presidential hopefuls. Has anyone reading this blog ever tried to get into a town hall event?

    For the past two presidential elections I've tried. Each time I called to get a ticket for a local Republican event I was told it was invitation only, to registered Republicans only. Apparently that way the news media sees only a sea of smiling faces and the candidates only get asked easy questions from the audience. God forbid an unscreened member of the general public should show up and boo or ask a tough question.

    Okay Newt; people have to pay for admission to Disney World to get into Obama's town hall meeting. They'd have to sell their soul to get into one of yours.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Good thing Obama didn't hold this meeting at Six Flags over Whereverthefuck; Newt would have accused him of being indecisive. "Six? What's the matter with one? You know, OLD GLORY!!"

    • carlgt1

      He's probably say it's really "666 Flags" the theme park of the beast"

    • tessiee

      "Good thing Obama didn't hold this meeting at Six Flags over Whereverthefuck"

      Not least because one of those six flags is the confederate stars and bars.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Disneyland is the spot for Ole Newt. There isn't a doubt in my mind he's fuckin' goofy.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Yet all the GNoPee candidates, sooner or later, parade to that Florida reirement home (a gated community, I'm sure) that amounts to Disneyland for the olds.

    Minus all the cool rides, of course.

  • Extemporanus

    In related news, Mitt Romney bashed President Obama for plans to close half of the Magic Underwear Kingdom during an event next month in Salt Lake City.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Newt's favorite Disney movie? Why, the full-length version of Song of the South, of course.

    • Steverino247

      I don't know. I saw a lot of movies in Korea when I was stationed there and that was the only one everyone went to see. I guess if you miss home as much as we did, any part of it is wonderful.

  • widestanceshakedown

    Hmm, is that a crack in the fat suit that is Newt, leading to his meltdown? You know it's coming. No one that thin-skinned and emotionally stunted is going to hold up much longer. The pressures of the campaign are working their magic. Bring it.

  • There's only room for one six-foot, fuckin' rat at Disney World.

  • MrFizzy

    I saw Newton Leroy blowing Pluto at EPCOT.

  • coron4

    It's a weekday. The kids are at work.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Oh, that's good.

    • FatalServerErrorFace

      Yes, but what if they're at work AT Disneyland… hmmm.

      …and yes that was very good – I LOL'd

  • jus_wonderin

    Just plain fuck you, Newt. Fuck you hard. Fuck you with the force of ten million mega-tons! Suck my flange too!

    • Limeylizzie

      You are awesome.

      • jus_wonderin

        Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all week.

        Oh, wait. I am taking the afternoon off on Friday.

    • Baconzgood



  • mavenmaven

    Newt's just peeved because he was thrown out of the park for hitting on Minnie.

    • iburl

      "Callista's totally cool with it, Minnie!"

    • jus_wonderin

      Man on Mouse?

  • iburl

    If Newtie owned Disney world, black kids would have to clean the bathrooms. The blackest and poorest ones would have to clean up the vomit in Space Mountain.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Vid of Obama making his own Big Ears Joke…..unfortunately, the grammarians are going to wince.

    • fuflans

      oh thank you for that. it's so damn nice to see something – anything – that isn't fucking republicans.

    • tessiee

      A few years back, Ben Stiller…

      You guys all know who Ben Stiller is, right? Take a moment to picture him in your minds.

      Anyway, Ben Stiller made a joke that was making fun of Duhbya, and some heckler in the audience yelled out that he should make fun of Obama.
      Ben Stiller: I should make fun of Obama? OK. Obama has big ears.

  • chicken_thief

    WTF is Newt talking about – "parents who might be planning to take their children"?

    Who's going to clean the schools if the kids are all at Disney World?!

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I remember when Roman Columns seemed gaudy.

    • Hey, Suds, I send a shout-out to you and your comrades. A MILLION signatures?!? A great day for Wisconsin. Today we are all cheeseheads.

  • neiltheblaze

    One half of me wants Newt to win the nomination because Obama would kick his ass in the general election. The other half of me wants him to get incinerated in a giant fireball.

    I cannot reconcile these two things. Though, I'm leaning toward "fireball" right this minute.

    • Baconzgood

      My guilty pleasure was wanting Perry to get the nod. It would have been quite a sight to see Obama destroy him in a debate.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      How about a fireball in mid-November?

      • tessiee

        Fire! Fire! Fire!

    • FatalServerErrorFace

      "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."
      -F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • Extemporanus

    When reached for comment, Walt Disney said the following: "That's cold!"

  • Once again I see the Go-Pee'ers have given up on "better ideas". All they've got to offer is pissing and moaning about Obama's optics and "he's a socialist".

    • Yeah, and Newt's supposed to be the smart one.

  • GOPCrusher

    I swear. These assholes would find something to bitch about if President Obama went on national TV, resigned, and then went out on the front lawn of the White House and set himself on fire.

    • Think of the children!!!!!!11!!1!1

      • The Vietnamese monks did it better.

        (I know, I'm gettin bad karma for that one.)

    • Steverino247

      They would complain that the choice of starter fluid was environmentally unsound and thus evidence that liberals cannot live up to their own ideals.


  • Troglodeity

    Next thing you know, Obama will be traitorously ceding Main Street U.S.A.'s sovereignty to Epcot Center.

    • jus_wonderin

      Oh my, I just hope he didn't apologize to Disney World for America. Or bow to Mickey.

  • Guppy

    Walt Disney World is as authentic as Newt's marriages.

    Judging from his track record, Newt probably leveled these "inauthentic" and "exclusive" charges while hosting a "less-than-public" gathering at The Villages ala Rick Scott.

    • Or at a bookstore while he was having one of his money-making signing ceremonies (as Chris Matthews calls them).

  • owhatever

    Obama will fly Air Force One (on which Newt still doesn't have a seat) from Disneyland to make a speech promoting literacy at the Wasilla Public Library.

  • Extemporanus

    "Sorry, folks…park's closed. Newt out front shoulda told ya."

  • It's high time this carnival barker directed his attentions back to Syria where he said he'd gladly take the reins? And I can't think of a better place I'd rather see him preside over a town hall, come one come all.

  • Rotundo_

    I can almost imagine the inner thoughts of Newt! ripping on Barry for doing the Dinnywold town hall: He is there, half the joint shuts down, and here I am (damn, what was the name of this shithole backwater again?) hanging out with these dumbasses. I wanna be president dammit!

  • crybabyboehner

    You will not find any soda-guzzling, hamburger-chomping, SUV driving Americans at Disney World. The only people there are eggheads and Frogs.

  • Limeylizzie

    Oh Good I can tell my Dad's favourite joke of all time, it has to be said in a Scottish accent…"What's the difference between a Scotsman and Walt Disney?" "A Scotsman wears a kilt but Walt dis nae"

  • whatupirondog

    If Obama was a real American (WHICH HE ISN'T) he would hold his event at that mini-golf place near the airport. WHAT'S THE MATTER, SOCIALIST? ARE THE BATTING CAGES NOT FANCY ENOUGH FOR YOU? because I think they called someone to fix the netting in cage #2.

    • tessiee

      Newt must be a barrel of fun at restaurants.
      Waitress: Let me tell you about our specials this eveni–

  • I half expected Newt to finish his press conference with a rousing rendition of "Bare Necessities"

    • HarryButtle

      Baloo libel!

  • real_dc_native

    I am beyond snark now. I just f'cking hate all of the GOP "Candidates" and wish the re-election of Obama was over already.

    • Please, don't take away my fun times. I am SO enjoying all this comedy. My dinner hour will be so dull once the Republicants have their convention.

  • carlgt1

    Bluffton does sound like a Repug paradise in name & reality though!

    Newt would have the kids singing "It's A Small World After All" start doing janitorial services. And change the song to "It's An Outsourced World."

    • tessiee

      It's a world of work and a world of fears
      It's a world of sweat and a world of tears
      There's so much that we mop, and they feed us all slop,
      It's a Newt world after all

  • Just wait until Newt finds out that Barry gets to see the frozen Walt Disney exhibit.

    • jus_wonderin

      Newt would get all atwitter to see that. He could perserve Callista. But, how do you freeze something that is at absolute zero already?

      Thing is, she'd be easy to trick into the freezing room. "Callista? I have something glistening and shiny for you."

      • Steverino247

        And all this time I've been running around the base singing about Eskimo pussy being mighty cold.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Isn't it about time that Disney locks Newt back in the vault?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Obama had a Big Ears moment; Newt's nose is getting longer…

  • JackObin

    Hey Gingrich, I'll offer you a lifetime supply of Doritos if you disappear.

  • Universal and Sea World's checks must have come into Newt's stubby little fingers today,

    • tessiee

      Just to be fair, Newt *does* have to leap completely out of his tank to earn the check from Sea World.

  • anniegetyerfun

    I'm so glad that Newt's chosen to go after the issues that really matter.

  • Newt's just jealous because of the flush in Snow White's cheeks after Obama gave her his personal fireworks display.

    • tessiee

      How do you think she hits those high notes when she's singing to the little birdies perched on her shoulders?

  • BarackMyWorld


  • Newt, please. No middle-class parents can afford to take the kids to Disney World these days.

  • Wonderthing

    Obama is also black. Er, I mean, he's totally fiscally irresponsible. And black. Oops.

  • rickmaci

    As I live and breathe I know that before the week is over Newt will make a crack about Obama and the jungle ride. A guy running for Grand Wizard of the RepublicKKKan Klavern won't be able to resist. I'd bet $10,000 but I'm just another broke American trying to pay my 28% taxes.

    • tessiee

      "I know that before the week is over Newt will make a crack about Obama and the jungle ride"

      I wouldn't put it beyond Newt to refer to Obama as "King Louie", and then pretend it was a mistake.

  • fuflans

    oh just fuck all.

  • ttommyunger

    Barry could make it rain solid gold nuggets and Newt would complain about how heavy it was.

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