the fun police

Gingrich Bashes Obama for Holding Elitist Town Hall in Disney World

Newt Gingrich thinks it’s really inauthentic of President Obama to hold an event inside the gates of Disney World. It’s elitist, he implied, during an event of his own in Bluffton, SC on Thursday, because the event is “invitation only,” and it shows just how fake Obama is, because Disney World is not a real place. Main Street, USA, Disney World is not the same as Main Street, USA, America! And the whole thing proves that Obama is not only out of touch, but self-important, for thinking he’d need the event location to be secured. Who does this guy think he is?

“[T]hey’re apparently closing half of the Magic Kingdom” for the event, Gingrich said, “for which I apologize to all the people who for months have planned to take their children and go to the Magic Kingdom, but after all, who are they compared to Obama?”

Then Gingrich realized he was kind of insulting Disney World, which, oops, he actually loves, and that he was going to call up Disney and ask them if he could arrange to have his own town hall meeting outside the velvet rope, so everybody can come.

But where does the candidate really stand on cartoons? He seems to enjoy invoking Disney while insulting people, saying during a Fox News debate last fall that the moderators were engaging in “Mickey Mouse games” rather than asking tough questions.

As for the fact that Obama’s event was intended to boost US tourism, Gingrich would probably respond that tourism discourages people from doing more important things, like cleaning school bathrooms. [Washington Post]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


  1. bureaucrap

    While he was there, Obama should have offered to appoint Newt "King of Conservative Fantasyland".

        1. MittBorg

          It's OK, baby, think of some totally STUDLY dood instead, and take your mind off that podgy marshmallow.

          Heath Ledger? Gone but still cuter and sexier than Newt any day.

    1. CommieLibunatic

      I'm going to vote to have a swollen demon phallus jammed down the GOP nominee's throat in front of the Washington Monument.

      1. Gleem_McShineys

        We've made a couple substitutions.
        "The Sistine Chapel", "a corndog," and "Rick Perry." Otherwise, WISH GRANTED!

        1. CommieLibunatic

          NO EXCEPTIONS. Give me a nominee valiantly attempting to swallow a horrific studded sausage or give me death. They deserve no less for the neverending stream of shit they've given us.

      2. tessiee

        That's why Ann Coulter has such a freakishly long neck and mannish Adam's apple; they're from all those years of deep-throating Satan.

      1. MittBorg

        Let's face it, not a single one of these batshit loons compares to the man, even as I seethe in anger about some new thing he's done. Dammit, Mr. O, Y U make it so hard to support you politically, you handsome brilliant bastard?

  2. MissTaken

    To be fair, "It's A Small World" is socialist. Not to mention the worst fucking song to get stuck in your head.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Much more appropriate for the Republicans:

      Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
      We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
      Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
      Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
      Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
      Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

    2. SorosBot

      And now you've gotten it stuck in my head! This is revenge for all the bad earworms I've inflicted on you, isn't it?

      1. MissTaken

        It took a while to come up with something worse than Afternoon Deelight, but Newt pulled through for me.

        And by the way, you owe me for the lost contact that popped out when I laughed at your poor kids need to work at Disneyland comment.

        1. SorosBot

          Yeah I don't think I can top that; there is no worse song on Earth that I know of.

          And I'll pay you back with a – well to get into detail would probably inspire more "get a room' comments, but you can probably figure it out; it involves my tongue.

          1. MissTaken

            In any other circumstance, thinking about how you will pay me back with your tongue would be quite inspirational, ifyouknowwhatimean

            But, remember, this is a Newt thread, not the Huntsman daughters anymore.

          2. SorosBot

            True; the image of Newt is a real boner-killer and, um, whatever the equivalent of boner-killing is for you ladies.

          3. tessiee

            "whatever the equivalent of boner-killing is for you ladies."

            (the sound of ladyparts slamming shut)

          4. MittBorg

            Just remember, we expect her back safe, sound, and smiling fit to beat all when you're done. So if you're secretly a serial killer or something? Wrong girl to try it on.

          5. tessiee

            "there is no worse song on Earth that I know of."

            Welcome to the Hotel California!
            Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
            Such a lovely face (such a lovely face)
            Renting a room at the Hotel California,
            Any time of year
            You can find us here…

          1. tessiee

            "Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby"

            An invitation to mooning if I've ever heard one!

    3. Steverino247

      OK, now we're even for my mentioning that "other person" in the Huntsman Daughters fantasy thread.

      It's a Small Wol…SHUT UP!!! Gah!

    4. Dudleydidwrong

      Newt's a big dick, after all
      He makes us sick, after all
      He a dumb prick, after all
      Newt's a slime ball, after all

        1. Dudleydidwrong

          Yeah. "Scotty" may be my all-time vomit maker, but "Afternoon Delight" is close. No matter how bad a song is, none of them are as bad as the Republican sour chorus they're trying to sing. I'll listen to "Ayn-gell Of the Morning" ten times before listening to anything from the mouths of Mitt, Newt, or Ron.

  3. SorosBot

    Disney pays their staff way too much; they should fire them and replace them with the poor kids who come to visit.

        1. Geminisunmars

          Yes, but the Gringrich also said being a greeter at school would be a suitable job for kids, along with the janitorial after school activities.

  4. OneYieldRegular

    So, you're a little kid, and you're at Disney World for the first time, and maybe on your first big vacation ever, and you maybe get a chance to see the President of the United States? Trifecta!

    1. Crank_Tango

      Then imagine your disappointment when it's a black president.

      I guess it's like the time I thought the pitcher in the fridge had kool aid in it but it actually held iced tea.

      Newt is just trying to save American kids from that kind of horror, but we're too stupid to realize it, because Newt is smart.

      1. tessiee

        "the time I thought the pitcher in the fridge had kool aid in it but it actually held iced tea"

        My mother, aunts, and grandmother liked to cook and bake from scratch. The two life lessons I learned from this as a child:
        1) Baker's chocolate does NOT taste like regular chocolate;
        2) Beaten egg whites do NOT taste like whipped cream.

        1. HuddledMass

          Oh geez – the crushing disappointments of yesteryear. How you bring back the perils of counter-cruising …

  5. SexySmurf

    Fucking elitists live in Cinderella's Castle and work at their fancy jobs on Space Mountain after they ride the monorail.

  6. johnnymeatworth

    He's just pissed because Obama is the first president since Kennedy who could pull off a three-way.

  7. DarwinianDemon

    Sarah Palin spoke at the Florida GOP convention last year at Disney World. Hey didn't that elitist just endorse Gingrich in SC?

    1. MittBorg

      Yeah, and she thinks Marianne Gingrich's story will just make Newt "soar more." Although she could've meant "more sore." Spelling was never her forte.

    1. BornInATrailer

      This right here. To refer to anything Disney as elitist is fairly spectacular on its own. But when done by someone with a 500k Tiffany's account, it truly transcends the normal political bullshit doublespeak.

    2. Toomush_Infer

      Again: what happens in Tiffanies' stays in Tiffanies – you'd have to ask Tiffanies about that…

      1. NorthStarSpanx

        Actually, he's more like that insulting, ego-centric rabble-rouser Mr. Potato Head on Toy Story, but less likeable.

  8. actor212

    OMG! The President is from the exotic foreign nation of Hawaii! And he holds a jobs conference in Disneyworld (thus neatly highlighting the quality of McJobs we'll all be in for in the coming decades) and Newt thinks that's ELITIST?

    1. MittBorg

      Cokie Roberts deserves a lifetime of being shit on by smelly hairy strangers for that comment about Hawai'i. Stupid fucking elitist bitch.

      1. MittBorg

        Ah b'leev he's saying it even as he speak. Among a bunch of other blather, like claiming he's an ex-pilot so he can never get confused. (Wuh?)

  9. veritass

    If Newt's taking the time to apologize to the children, then I will as well.

    Children of the world: I'm sorry that we (adults of both the United States of Real Americans and Not Real Americans) have devised a system and society which has given a rejected half-baked s'more marshmallow a chance to be the leader of our country. I just want you to know that after this election cycle, it gets better. Maybe.

      1. tessiee

        I never believed that Huey, Dewey, and Louie were really his nephews; I mean, come on, Donald goes around pantsless all the time.

  10. Veritas78

    Dear God, I know you haven't heard from me in a while, but this is extra-special: pleasepleaseplease let Newt be the Republican nominee just this one time.

    P.S. — loved the drafts of your book! Happy to help with the final edit.

  11. Chichikovovich

    "for which I apologize to all the people who for months have planned to take their children and go to the Magic Kingdom, but after all, who are they compared to Obama?"

    Another sign of American decadence and loss of values, Newt: A lot of parents wait a long time and plan, so as to have a chance to see the President. And the kids find it pretty cool, too.

    1. tessiee

      "I apologize to all the people who for months have planned to take their children and go to the Magic Kingdom, but after all, who are they compared to Obama?"

      I planned to stay middle class instead of becoming poor with little hope of ever regaining lost ground — but thanks to Newt and his pals, I didn't get my wish. Where's *my* apology?

  12. Radiotherapy

    How soon we forget.
    And the prescient words of a Right Wing Watch commentor:
    No Hank, no Monday Night Football, ESPN, owned by far left leaning Disney struck back at Hank Williams today, taking his trademark, “Are you ready for some football?” song off fo [sic] the opening of Monday night football.

    Why? Williams dared to insult Disney darling Obama.

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      "Far left leaning Disney"? Ha Ha. Hahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha.

      Oh, for fuck's sake.

      1. MittBorg

        Yes, Disney who will always be remembered by those who can still read as a red-baiting union-buster who hated "minorities," is now "left-leaning," in the alternative Gaga reality in which these dummkopfs live. Ai-yi-yi!

  13. joshleefolsom

    Oh, who didn't see that coming the fucking second it was on the news this morning? I psychically read this whole story 8 hours before it happened, didn't you?

  14. teebob2000

    GOD, I hope this turd gets the GOP nomination. Every fucking day of the campaign will be an adventure! And the Obama campaign HQ will be the happiest place on earth.

    1. jqheywood

      "GOD, I hope this turd gets the GOP nomination. Every fucking day of the campaign will be an adventure! And the Obama campaign HQ will be the Happiest Place On Earth." ™


  15. Mumbletypeg

    Shut UP Newt, too soon! You're going to give Rick Perry a sad, thinking of all the Beer Summit's he was gonna hold as President of the Magic Kingdom.

  16. PsycWench

    Which half are they closing? If it's the overprice souvenirs and snack bar, I might make a special trip.

  17. meatlofer

    I lost all respect for Disney, when they asked me to leave their resort for pissin in the corner pocket of the pool table. Assholes, I called that shot!

  18. Ruhe

    Shorter Newt: "Can you believe this guy…acting all presidential and stuff?''

    Newt, if it's real criticism of Mr. Obama that you're looking for please allow one of us disillusioned libtards show you the way. You're just not doing it right.

  19. Ducksworthy

    The reptile house at the Bluffton County Zoo would be a more fitting venue for the Newt. (They have amphibians there too, right?)

  20. Ruhe

    You know, while Newt's overall critique seems pointless and shallow he may have been using the phrase "inauthentic" in some deep existential or even Heideggerian sense. He's pretty smart, you know.

  21. SayItWithWookies

    Newt's just pissed that President Obama is holding court in an expensive playground where slovenly middle-class folks wait docilely in line for 45 minutes for two minutes of disappointment, over and over again. He didn't think liberals were allowed in Republican fantasyland.

  22. BornInATrailer

    If Newt was down there, he'd tell Jim Crow and the rest of his gang how to get a paycheck instead of singing about ears all day, suckling off the government teat.

    1. tessiee

      "singing about ears all day"

      I've been thinking about this for almost fifteen seconds, and I *still* can't think of a song about ears.

      1. BornInATrailer

        Weren't the crows in Dumbo going on about ears in the elephants fly song or am I not remembering? And wasn't the lead crow named Jim Crow?

        Or has the meth started to take its toll?

        EDIT: The song never mentions ears…

  23. Stubenville

    I am so damn tired of the mischaracterizations and half truths that spring endlessly from the lips of the Republican presidential hopefuls. Has anyone reading this blog ever tried to get into a town hall event?

    For the past two presidential elections I've tried. Each time I called to get a ticket for a local Republican event I was told it was invitation only, to registered Republicans only. Apparently that way the news media sees only a sea of smiling faces and the candidates only get asked easy questions from the audience. God forbid an unscreened member of the general public should show up and boo or ask a tough question.

    Okay Newt; people have to pay for admission to Disney World to get into Obama's town hall meeting. They'd have to sell their soul to get into one of yours.

  24. BaldarTFlagass

    Good thing Obama didn't hold this meeting at Six Flags over Whereverthefuck; Newt would have accused him of being indecisive. "Six? What's the matter with one? You know, OLD GLORY!!"

    1. tessiee

      "Good thing Obama didn't hold this meeting at Six Flags over Whereverthefuck"

      Not least because one of those six flags is the confederate stars and bars.

  25. Tundra Grifter

    Yet all the GNoPee candidates, sooner or later, parade to that Florida reirement home (a gated community, I'm sure) that amounts to Disneyland for the olds.

    Minus all the cool rides, of course.

  26. Extemporanus

    In related news, Mitt Romney bashed President Obama for plans to close half of the Magic Underwear Kingdom during an event next month in Salt Lake City.

    1. Steverino247

      I don't know. I saw a lot of movies in Korea when I was stationed there and that was the only one everyone went to see. I guess if you miss home as much as we did, any part of it is wonderful.

  27. widestanceshakedown

    Hmm, is that a crack in the fat suit that is Newt, leading to his meltdown? You know it's coming. No one that thin-skinned and emotionally stunted is going to hold up much longer. The pressures of the campaign are working their magic. Bring it.

    1. FatalServerErrorFace

      Yes, but what if they're at work AT Disneyland… hmmm.

      …and yes that was very good – I LOL'd

  28. jus_wonderin

    Just plain fuck you, Newt. Fuck you hard. Fuck you with the force of ten million mega-tons! Suck my flange too!

  29. iburl

    If Newtie owned Disney world, black kids would have to clean the bathrooms. The blackest and poorest ones would have to clean up the vomit in Space Mountain.

    1. fuflans

      oh thank you for that. it's so damn nice to see something – anything – that isn't fucking republicans.

    2. tessiee

      A few years back, Ben Stiller…

      You guys all know who Ben Stiller is, right? Take a moment to picture him in your minds.

      Anyway, Ben Stiller made a joke that was making fun of Duhbya, and some heckler in the audience yelled out that he should make fun of Obama.
      Ben Stiller: I should make fun of Obama? OK. Obama has big ears.

  30. chicken_thief

    WTF is Newt talking about – "parents who might be planning to take their children"?

    Who's going to clean the schools if the kids are all at Disney World?!

  31. neiltheblaze

    One half of me wants Newt to win the nomination because Obama would kick his ass in the general election. The other half of me wants him to get incinerated in a giant fireball.

    I cannot reconcile these two things. Though, I'm leaning toward "fireball" right this minute.

    1. Baconzgood

      My guilty pleasure was wanting Perry to get the nod. It would have been quite a sight to see Obama destroy him in a debate.

    2. FatalServerErrorFace

      "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."
      -F. Scott Fitzgerald

  32. JustPixelz

    Once again I see the Go-Pee'ers have given up on "better ideas". All they've got to offer is pissing and moaning about Obama's optics and "he's a socialist".

  33. GOPCrusher

    I swear. These assholes would find something to bitch about if President Obama went on national TV, resigned, and then went out on the front lawn of the White House and set himself on fire.

    1. Steverino247

      They would complain that the choice of starter fluid was environmentally unsound and thus evidence that liberals cannot live up to their own ideals.

  34. Troglodeity

    Next thing you know, Obama will be traitorously ceding Main Street U.S.A.'s sovereignty to Epcot Center.

  35. Guppy

    Walt Disney World is as authentic as Newt's marriages.

    Judging from his track record, Newt probably leveled these "inauthentic" and "exclusive" charges while hosting a "less-than-public" gathering at The Villages ala Rick Scott.

  36. owhatever

    Obama will fly Air Force One (on which Newt still doesn't have a seat) from Disneyland to make a speech promoting literacy at the Wasilla Public Library.

  37. Mumbletypeg

    It's high time this carnival barker directed his attentions back to Syria where he said he'd gladly take the reins? And I can't think of a better place I'd rather see him preside over a town hall, come one come all.

  38. Rotundo_

    I can almost imagine the inner thoughts of Newt! ripping on Barry for doing the Dinnywold town hall: He is there, half the joint shuts down, and here I am (damn, what was the name of this shithole backwater again?) hanging out with these dumbasses. I wanna be president dammit!

  39. crybabyboehner

    You will not find any soda-guzzling, hamburger-chomping, SUV driving Americans at Disney World. The only people there are eggheads and Frogs.

  40. Limeylizzie

    Oh Good I can tell my Dad's favourite joke of all time, it has to be said in a Scottish accent…"What's the difference between a Scotsman and Walt Disney?" "A Scotsman wears a kilt but Walt dis nae"

  41. whatupirondog

    If Obama was a real American (WHICH HE ISN'T) he would hold his event at that mini-golf place near the airport. WHAT'S THE MATTER, SOCIALIST? ARE THE BATTING CAGES NOT FANCY ENOUGH FOR YOU? because I think they called someone to fix the netting in cage #2.

    1. tessiee

      Newt must be a barrel of fun at restaurants.
      Waitress: Let me tell you about our specials this eveni–

  42. real_dc_native

    I am beyond snark now. I just f'cking hate all of the GOP "Candidates" and wish the re-election of Obama was over already.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Please, don't take away my fun times. I am SO enjoying all this comedy. My dinner hour will be so dull once the Republicants have their convention.

  43. carlgt1

    Bluffton does sound like a Repug paradise in name & reality though!

    Newt would have the kids singing "It's A Small World After All" start doing janitorial services. And change the song to "It's An Outsourced World."

    1. tessiee

      It's a world of work and a world of fears
      It's a world of sweat and a world of tears
      There's so much that we mop, and they feed us all slop,
      It's a Newt world after all

    1. jus_wonderin

      Newt would get all atwitter to see that. He could perserve Callista. But, how do you freeze something that is at absolute zero already?

      Thing is, she'd be easy to trick into the freezing room. "Callista? I have something glistening and shiny for you."

      1. Steverino247

        And all this time I've been running around the base singing about Eskimo pussy being mighty cold.

    1. tessiee

      Just to be fair, Newt *does* have to leap completely out of his tank to earn the check from Sea World.

    1. tessiee

      How do you think she hits those high notes when she's singing to the little birdies perched on her shoulders?

  44. rickmaci

    As I live and breathe I know that before the week is over Newt will make a crack about Obama and the jungle ride. A guy running for Grand Wizard of the RepublicKKKan Klavern won't be able to resist. I'd bet $10,000 but I'm just another broke American trying to pay my 28% taxes.

    1. tessiee

      "I know that before the week is over Newt will make a crack about Obama and the jungle ride"

      I wouldn't put it beyond Newt to refer to Obama as "King Louie", and then pretend it was a mistake.

Comments are closed.