Mitt Romney is just too busy “saluting” Rick Perry today to think about the fact that he actually lost to Rick Santorum in Iowa. But Romney’s team had time to release a statement downplaying the whole “we made history” claim (by pretending it was never uttered) and saying really, the whole thing was a “virtual tie.” Yes. Beating Santorum by eight votes was “history,” but losing to Santorum by 34 votes was “a virtual tie.” The Santorum team’s response evokes our favorite characterization of Mitt Romney: that he is a little kid who stomps his feet, insults his mother, and throws things when he doesn’t get what he wants, and publicly says weaselly, self-congratulatory things reminiscent of the mirror-chanting of our favorite dictators.
If one thing’s for certain, Santorum is definitely choosing the crybaby over the spoiled eight-year-old when it comes time to endorse. Romney’s sense of entitlement just smells more sickly than Gingrich’s, never mind that the Iowa GOP won’t actually certify the caucus results because there are “too many holes.” Indeed.
The Santorum camp is particularly pissed that the Romney campaign didn’t call Santorum to congratulate him, as Santorum did following Romney’s win in New Hampshire. Asking for his reaction to the news that Santorum apparently won, Santorum adviser John Brabender told ABC:
Well, someone should tell that to Mitt Romney. He sounds like a kid who didn’t get what he wanted for his birthday so he smashed the cake.
He added that “Romney should have the dignity, honor, and character to call and congratulate us on our win in Iowa.”
Romney’s character, dignity and honor could not be reached for comment because, well, they do not exist. [ABC News]
UPDATE: He called!!!!!!!
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I'm going to Disney World!12
If any Republican candidate knows something about spoiled little kids, it's Santorum.
Oh, so sick, yet so upfistable.
Are you quoting from the medical records?!
That's terrible. Kudos good sir!
Thank's for the unicorn chaser!
It took me a minute. Well played.
I almost included a link, but I had confidence that sick fucks like you would be up to the challenge.
God, I love you.
Likewise, darling.
Oh, by the way: Remember that "'Twas the Night Before Xmas" thread from the, well, night before Xmas? You probably missed it, but I partially replied to your last few comments a couple days later, with a promise to say more soon.
I am a very bad promise keeper. Sorry.
As soon as I'm typing on something other than this fcuking pohne, I'll finish my month-old moldy thought, and then let ya know.
I promise…
Why are you typing on a phone? Why do you not have a computer, iPad, etc?
I'm phonin' it in because I'm currently sequestered at an undisclosed location that lacks an internet connection. (No, not jail.)
I do have an old iPad, but it's not 3G. And sadly — after a long and tumultuous on again/off again depressingly dysfunctional relationship — I was finally forced to shoot my fickle zombie laptop in the head.
Alas, I am too poor at the moment to woo a new one, so iPhone fisting it is…
8 votes – History
23 votes – Virtual tie
Never ending catfight? Priceless.
Mrowr!
Thanks!…
or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhqEeLESUU4
It's a shame these primaries can't go on and on.
It's like watching "Last Man Standing" with a cast of snakes and worms.
REPTILE/ANNELID LIBEL!!!
Fine. CONGRATULATIONS, CREAMCUP.
Happy now?
I think all he wanted for his bday was a highly publicized interview with one of Newt's ex-wives.
He smashed the cake because that's what Bain men do after they playfully light $100 bills on fire with the candles.
But heaven knows they don't drink the coffee. That would insult the gods in the Celestial Kingdom®.
It is hard to imagine a group of more arrogant, entitled, lying, childish, petulant, narrsacists, self serving, willing to sell America down the river for personal gain, than the field of Republican candidates for President. Cocksuckers all of them.
Geez, that sounds close to dignity, honor, and character…..
The debate this evening should be a hum-dinger. A bit of a shame that everyone's favourite talking donkey won't be in it, but I'm sure with half gallon of wine it'll be most entertaining.
we've spent the day watching movies (i take my union duties very seriously) and have another planned for this evening.
i have missed you all but i feel this is better use of my liver.
Now I shall close my eyes and visualize the GOP POTUS wannabees rolling around in smashed cake before devouring each other. Ewww, Santorum got it all frothy with anal lube and fecal matter.
Chris Christie is polishing his pink oboe to that mental image right now.
I always imagined Christie as a piccolo player.
(I just reread my comment, I'm going to wash my brain out with soap now.)
Best not imagine Christie at all; that way lies madness.
I can no more imagine Christie playing with or polishing it than he could find it in the dark 'n damp place it lives.
Christie is a known tuba player. But he doesn't blow into it, he hovers it over tables of food and sucks really hard.
I always thought it was the slide whistle.
That piccolo player is a mothafucka!
I've always imagined gingrich on the polar bearskin rug and mittens on a pile of money. I don't even want to think about santorum.
Well, there goes any hope of my getting an erection this year.
Hey Rick and Mitt — just get a room and do the deed already — you know you want to.
Well Rick is also acting like a spoiled child, as well as Newt. Tonight's debate will consist of "I know you are but what am I?" and "I'm rubber and your glue" retorts.
There's another debate tonight??/// Oh right, it must be a day of the week ending in "Y"
And that will be more substantive than all previous debates combined.
If Romney would just act like a dead little kid Rick would cuddle him.
WIN from hell!
So would Karen, and we know she likes the oldz.
One thing I can say about Santorum. He was smart enough to not be photographed eating a corn dog in Iowa. Other than that he is a frothy mess.
"I know the spoiled little kid,and Mr. Rommney, You are no-spoiled little kid."
Can excess santorum be refined into gasoline? That might solve the world's energy problems.
Through the miracle of polymerisation, yes it can.
You mean polyamorisation? Get a lotta santorum that way.
This is great news for Mitt Romney — if he wins and then gets elected president, we'll just say we won Vietnam. And Korea. And Ronald Reagan didn't kill 241 Marines. In fact, he'll have all of American history moved to a secret account in the Cayman Islands where it can appreciate in a manner more befitting exceptional Americanism.
those historic events to which you refer, are things which should be discussed quietly, in closed rooms.
Heads I win tails FUCK YOU!
"Romney’s character, dignity and honor could not be reached for comment because, well, they do not exist."
I laughed and laughed!
There is an explanation for this — he IS a spoiled little kid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjD4eWEUgMM
Wow. Dick, right?
the Iowa GOP said there were too many holes to certify the former Pennsylvania senator as the winner.
I thought Santorum plugged those all up?
"Yes. Beating Santorum by eight votes was 'history,' but losing to Santorum by 34 votes was 'a virtual tie.'" AND "Peace is War," "Freedom is Slavery," and "We have always been at war with East Asia."
CEO's son a spoiled rich kid. Well I am surprised.
None of those clowns has any dignity, or they wouldn't display themselves the way they do.
I also blame the dumbass pollees, independents, and swing voters who are falling for this shit.
"ROMNEY GOOD!!! …NO RUSH SAYS HES BAD……DUHRFF ..SANTORUM GOOD!!! …"
Mitt just needs a nap and then he can have his graham cracker.
I heard a rumor Santorum will leak something disgusting on Romney during the debate tonight.
WIN from heaven!
The party so concerned about "voter fraud" that it's trying to make it impossible for those without driver's licenses to vote can't even run an election properly in a state where about 500 people live?
Using this photo of a debased cake to represent tantrum-spewing vermin that are America's excuse for children these days, is an insult to the nearly-insolvent Hostess® Twinkies legacy. Haven't they taken enough of a beating for one business cycle?? No? Well if you're not gonna finish that, hand it over here to me, along with that pint of Ben & Jerry's..
There is no D-liciousness like SC D-liciousness…what happens if all the Kilkenny Cats eat each other???
"The Republicans are a little bit hot tonight;
'Cause Mitt may not make Tampa with the audits coming on;
So they reach down…..between their legs;
And feel a Santorum Surge!"
Born Too Dumb.
And Poopachino is acting like he has a snowball's chance in hell of winning the nomination.
Mirror, mirror
On the wall
Who's the biggest dickhead of them all?
No one with "character, dignity and honor" can win the Republican nomination these days, its un-merkan.
In the Roman Catholic Church, divorce is a sin*!
* Protestant marriages don't count.
Santorum is just angling for another shot, (you realize you can't write "santorum" without a double entendré?)
It bodes well for the Republic(ans) that no one seems able to determine the winners of elections anymore.
I am so excited about the debate tonight, Mittens will be all tense and you know how he gets when he's tense. I am ordering Chinese, a nod to Huntsman, and settling in for a cat fight.
Well, gollleeeee, who actually did win the electiozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?
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