dirty real estate deals

Everything About Rick Santorum Is Gross, Like His ‘Creamcup Trust’

Santorum, Creamcup, Sack All DieToday’s Santorum scandal du jour — which means “a frothy mix, etc.,” in Santorum’s native language of Gay Obsessed — involves the various mansions he purchases through shady mortgages, in Virginia. But really, did he need to name his sketchy tax dodge “The Creamcup Trust,” and did he have to involve somebody named “James Sack”?

Rick Santorum is scheduled to win the South Carolina GOP primary as soon as he announces his plans to revoke the 13th, 15th and 19th amendments. So it is worthwhile to continue posting about his sleazebag real-estate scams, right?

Something called The Patch reports:

The Creamcup Trust took out a mortgage for $1.5 million from American Home Bank in Lancaster, PA. On the same day, the Santorums took out a mortgage for $200,000 in their own names from the same bank, according to county records. The two mortgages represent 85 percent of the sales price. The family repaid the $200,000 loan a year later, according to the records.

Now things get a little more complicated. In June 2009, the trust transferred ownership to the Santorums, so the home is now listed in the names of Richard and Karen Santorum.

In February 2010, the Santorums took out a $999,950 mortgage on the home that continued to carry the $1.5 million mortgage. That’s nearly $2.5 million in mortgages on a home that sold for $2 million.

And it continues like this, one sleazy insider deal after another, mortgages that wildly exceed the old inflated sales price of mansions now worth half that, etc. How many rimjobs behind the mortgage office is Santorum giving these banker buddies every time he cashes another dirty check from a Wall Street mortgage broker? [The Fairfax City Patch]

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  • Barb

    More like "…creamcup trust with James' sack" Otherwise known as a "piggyback mortgage"

    • DahBoner

      Those hackers love to play with sack!

    • YasserArraFeck

      More like a bareback mortgage

      • Isyaignert

        "I wish I could quit you," (Frothy the Santorum to the bankers).

    • Nostrildamus

      "… creamcup tryst with James' sack"

      Fixed.

  • ttommyunger

    "Everything About Rick Santorum Is Gross" And this is news because……?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Excellent question!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    But he believes in Jeebus!!!!!!1!!!!!1!! People who believe in Jesus are not crooked, corrupt, hypocritical douche bags. Oh wait…

    • GOPCrusher

      Jim Bakker approved of this message.

      • MosesInvests

        As did Jimmy Swaggart.

      • AutomaticPilot

        And Ted Haggard…

      • Negropolis

        And Bishop Eddie Long…

        Ooo, this is fun.

  • prommie

    By gently fondling this "Sack," Rick was able to fill his Creamcup to the brim.

  • Boojum_Reborn

    Creamcup is the new frothy anus spread!

    • hagajim

      Now with nutchunks!

      • emmelemm

        Too far!

        {who am I kidding, no such thing}

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Needs no refrigeration; always easy spreading;

    • GOPCrusher

      Comes in an aerosol can just like Cheez-Whiz!

  • dahBoner

    iq test?

  • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

    Being so sick you have to shit and puke at the same time and you only have one bucket > Rick Santorum

    • BaldarTFlagass

      That happened to me in Phuket, Thailand. Helpful hint, if this happens to you (in my case, too much Singha beer and Mekong whisky and spicy Thai food), take the lid off the toilet tank and sit backwards on the hopper.

      • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

        Damn McGuyver, I wish i'da known that trick back in my frat days

      • YasserArraFeck

        oversharing, but inventive

      • Negropolis

        Those ladyboy diseases can be a bitch, huh?

  • prommie

    Purchased a tract mansion in 2007, huh? Gee, its well known that was the best time to buy, prices were at their peak, and have fallen rapidly since. Wait, have I got that wrong?

    • DahBoner

      Now is always the best time to buy to put a comission in my pocket!

    • ShaveTheWhales

      You go with the mortgage scam you have, not with the mortgage scam you would have liked to have gotten a few years back.

  • BarackMyWorld
    • jus_wonderin

      I wonder what he would do if I held up a sign at his rally…"Gays for Santorum".

      • Fare la Volpe

        I had a buddy who showed up to a Huntsman rally with the sign:

        "Will Sleep with Men for Huntsman Votes"

        And damn if he didn't try his hardest.

    • emmelemm

      Dang… that's a good one!

    • Negropolis

      Ha!

  • FNMA

    You know, stuff like this happens and it makes think there really is a God and she has a very bent sense of humor.

  • MissTaken

    Today we are all just Sack-filled Creamcups.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Or Cream-filled Sackcups.

  • DahBoner

    SANTORUM IQ Test:

    True or False: Cake is to Cupcake as Creampie is to Creamcup?

    • chicken_thief

      He's still working on the Napkin vs Paper Towel Conundrum.

  • Goonemeritus

    Try to deny that Welfare queens exist now!

  • Terry

    I'm looking forward to the day when Rick Santorum is out of the public limelight and is mostly remembered as a punch line.

    • SorosBot

      That was supposed to happen when we Pennsylvanians kicked him out in 2006.

      • Terry

        Yeah, and like a bad penny, he keeps showing up.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Santorum always oozes out. Needs a big cork

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I remember thinking the same thing about David Lee Roth back in about 1984, and my prayers were finally answered.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Can we just punch him now, please?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

    I think I'm ready for non-Santorum Wonkette posts now….blah out Santorum!

    • johnnymeatworth

      So you're protesting the Santorum Online Parody Act, then?

  • bumfug

    And then he bought a farm where he raised goatses.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Coming from someone with a nym like bumfug …

      • Fare la Volpe

        With a nym like bumfug, it has to be good.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      *polite golf clap*

      Nicely played!

      Martini?

    • Toomush_Infer

      believe those to be his children….from past pictures…

    • GOPCrusher

      I like the cut of your jib, may I subscribe to your newsletter?

  • Buzz Feedback

    The Santorum Creamcup Trust will replace the Twinkie in my household.

  • Schmannnity

    How can they afford another house on Creamcup Lane when they already have that big place over on Scrotum Circle?

    • hagajim

      You forgot the vacation house on assgoo lane.

      • jus_wonderin

        They do have a country home on Road Hard and Put Up Wet Road.

    • Toomush_Infer

      And the one on Anal Drive…

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Which has a beautiful view of the chateau on Mt. Smegma

    • Dudleydidwrong

      This particular house backs onto Dick Alley

    • widestanceshakedown

      it's just north of Whispering Taint.

    • trondant

      That's just off Hershey Highway, right?

      • AutomaticPilot

        Yeah, with parking in the rear.

    • Negropolis

      I hear that Creamcup Lane is actually a cul-de-sack.

  • Beowoof

    Someone needs to hit Rick with a full sack of Santorum.

  • hagajim

    one sleazy insider deal I suppose this sleazy deal came complete with Santorum?

  • edgydrifter

    Santorum Creamcup: Worst Dessert Ever.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Two Assholes, One Creamcup?

  • Baconzgood

    Tee-Hee

    "Creamcup. Sack. Santorum."

  • VinnyThePooh

    The estate of Richard and Karen Santorum, aka The Cuckold's Nest.

    • Negropolis

      Nah, it's the Cock-hold's Nest.

  • HarryButtle

    Wait…so you're saying that AFTER Dan Savage successfully turned the man's name into a synonym for frothy anal juice, he decided to name his trust fund "Creamcup?" Really?

  • spends2much

    To be fair, who wants to buy a mansion with Santorum all over it?? No wonder their mortgages are underwater!

  • Baconzgood

    Lancaster eh? They makes me some high quality furniture there. It's also a great place to play Baconz favorite game: I'm Mr. Punchy, Amish Country Edition.

    • HarryButtle

      Careful, man, the Amish are goin' gangsta…cuttin' off people's beards n' shit. Next time you knock ol' Jebediah out of the carriage, he may just put a cap in yo ass!

      • Baconzgood

        Ye English be rollin' with some hard core niggaz.

    • chicken_thief

      Lancaster – home of the outlets!!! Geet on the bus, ma, weez agoin shoppin!!!

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

      There is no real difference between a pie crust filled with shoefly and one filled with santorum.

    • Swampgas_Man

      God help me, I actually LIVE here.

  • StarsUponThars

    This shit writes itself.

    • LetUsBray

      And Santorum is the ink.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I'm sure Rick Santorum could easily have gotten a $2 million mortgage on his $175,000 salary without having to form a trust with some rich developer/loanshark — and then deliberately taken out more loans for more than the house was worth. Hell, isn't that exactly what he and the other right-wingers are alleging was going on all the time with poor homeowners who were taking out huge loans they couldn't afford, and whom they blame for destroying the economy?

    Well they've finally got a solid example of the kind of thoughtless greed on the part of the consumer that they've been using as a bogeyman for the last three years. It's just too bad their sole example is one of their own, but that shouldn't stop them from blaming Rick for our fucked-up economy, right?

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Watch out Wonkette. It looks like the news already has snark baked in.

    • Negropolis

      It's a snark fruticake, if you will.

  • ClydeMydia

    From public records:
    10607 CREAMCUP LN,
    GREAT FALLS, VA

    Tax assessment 2011: $1,255,270

    Purchased in 2007 for $2,000,000…………oops!!

    • tealsheart

      CreamCup and a great fall, damn Santorum, he is having my fantasy!

  • SorosBot

    Well santorum creamcups are not exactly my fetish, but whatever works for you…

  • meatlofer

    Chris Cristie- "Creamcup? Creamcup? Did somebody say Creamcup?"

  • MissTaken

    "Santorum formed the Creamcup"

    It really does write itself, doesn't it?

  • littlebigdaddy

    I would say that even on SOPA day, Ricky continues to have a Google problem.

  • gullywompr

    Creamcup is the new teabag.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

    • tealsheart

      Exactly! Only not a little.

  • widestanceshakedown

    Something smells fishy about this Santorum guy.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Folks are fast, man. A Google search on "Creamcup" turned up the Zillow.com listing for the address at position seven.

    By the end of the night, it'll be number two!

    • gullywompr

      Bazinga.

  • OldRedneck

    Why not the "Frothy Mix Trust?"

    Inquiring minds want to know.

  • OneYieldRegular

    If there's not some San Francisco dessert place already working on having a "Santorum Creamcup" on the menu by this evening, then they're all just sleeping on the job.

    • Negropolis

      I know, right? If they haven't put it on the menu, they can ship them all to Afganistan, and non one will have lost any.

  • Eve8Apples

    SANTORUM/CAIN 2012 – Creamcups and pizzas for everyone!

    • http://sickrantorum.com KenLayIsAlive

      That's just what this food stamp nation needs!

  • Eve8Apples

    "In February 2010, the Santorums took out a $999,950 mortgage on the home that continued to carry the $1.5 million mortgage. That’s nearly $2.5 million in mortgages on a home that sold for $2 million."

    Yip, sounds like he's the right guy to tackle the federal spending problem. "My house is worth 2 million so I will borrow 2.5 million against it." That is fiscal conservatism everyone can appreciate.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Santorum? Creamcup? Sweater vests? Lancaster, Pa.? I just can't even believe this fucking guy.

  • DaRooster

    "That’s nearly $2.5 million in mortgages on a home that sold for $2 million."

    And I can't get a fucking refi?!

    • NYNYNYjr

      You my friend, have not met Jack Sack. He gets things done.

  • Gl████Mc██████

    Sack, Creamcup, Santorum.
    The internet doesn't need censoring, reality does.

  • poorgradstudent

    Eeeew, won't somebody please think of the children?

  • anteater

    Creamcup Lane?
    For reals?
    Candlestick Park I get, but this?

  • DemonicRage

    You know, if somehow bizarrely, he was ever elected, his first Executive Act would be to rename the country Creamcup Nation, and instead of Amurkins, we'd all be 'lil Creamers."

    • reliefsinn

      Please don't start suggesting that we could ever have a Pres. Santorum, and what his first Executive Act would be, please. There aren't enough drugs.

    • tealsheart

      I cream, you cream, we all cream for Santorum.

  • An_Outhouse

    He formed a Cream Cup with whose sack?

  • owhatever

    Ruckin' flipbergastin' turklemurt!!

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Santorum is a sleeze, this is news??

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Does this "Sack" have a pudding-cup beard?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    It's creamy! It's chocolate-y! You're both right!

    • http://sickrantorum.com KenLayIsAlive

      That ain't chocolate, Chet.

    • Negropolis

      You got your Santorum in my creamcup! No, you got your creamcup in my Santorum!

  • BS4Dummies

    Creamcup Trust/ James Sack
    Angel of Adoption award for Jerry Sandusky, gay obsession. I think I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Santorum formed the Creamcup Trust with James Sack

    People against SOPA broke the Senate's servers with so many emails…

    Barry showed some sack on the pipline…

    Could today get any better??

  • MinAgain

    Creamcup. Really.

    So, do Teh Gays know they have a new word just waiting to be assigned a perverse sexual meaning?

  • Barrelhse

    I kind of found my sweater vest comfortable, but I had to toss it. I'll never wear one again.

    • Isyaignert

      Good choice. Sweater vest = instant dork.

  • C_R_████████████e

    And Reality kicks the shit out of Satire yet again.

  • Warpde

    That's why the only form of Birth Control Sanny agrees with is swallowing.
    Does his wife know he's been getting cream from a sack?

  • tealsheart

    I wonder how many sips are in a creamCup…

  • tealsheart

    Santorum + Sack = Creamcup
    Rick + James = SuperFreak

  • DaRooster

    Hey Man, I mentioned I used to be a felon…