shiny things

Newt Gingrich Loves GOLD!

Newt Gingrich has joined his sudden kindred spirit Ron Paul in saying that he believes there should be some kind of exploratory committee “to look at the concept of how do we get back to hard money.” In a discussion Tuesday at a foreign policy forum in South Carolina, Gingrich said as president he would set up a “gold commission” similar to the one President Reagan established, though CNN points out that Reagan’s group ultimately decided a gold standard was a stupid idea, even in the face of double-digit inflation.

Oh, but in a delightful twist, Ron Paul was part of that Reagan commission, and was one of two people to support a return to gold. Two out of 17.

WHO IS THIS GUY? Either of them? Gingrich is really starting to prove himself as the jack-of-all-political-platforms of this race. There’s something (insane) for everyone in Gingrich’s belly of ideas. At the forum, Gingrich also argued that that the only thing the Fed should care about is “maintaining the stability of the dollar,” and if that means tying it to gold and hoping that somehow creates jobs (a big focus of the Fed right now), so be it. Then again, Newt seems to think the only reason people don’t have jobs is because they’re lazy and/or child labor laws prevent them from getting them. Maybe receiving their paychecks in SOLID GOLD will motivate Americans to find a place that will provide them with paychecks/velvety bags of coins??? [CNN]

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Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Hola wonkerados.

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96 comments

  1. Barb

    He also loves platinum blondes, coppery redheads, and he'd seek out a hummer from anyone at the Palladium.

  2. actor212

    Um, Liz? I found a typo. Lemme fix it for ya:

    WHO IS THIS GUY? Either of them? Gingrich is really starting to prove himself as the jack-off-all-political-platforms of this race.

  3. nounverb911

    If Newt wants to emulate Reagan so much, why doesn't he just get Alzheimer's already and get it over with.

    1. WhatTheHolyHeck

      Fortunately that does come in a velvety bag.

      Assuming you like that particular shade of aqua.

  4. GunToting[Redacted]

    Can someone sane please explain the wingnut obsession with gold? It has NO inherent value nor any utility (other than in tiny amounts in electronics/computers). You can't eat it. It's sole value is its limited availability and the fact that it is shiny.

      1. SorosBot

        The other way around; Roman Consul and member of the first triumvirate Marcus Crassus was reportedly executed by Parthians by having gold poured down his throat.

    1. actor212

      By criminy! There's gold in them thar hills, dadgummit! An if'n I jus takes my rifle, I kin stake a claim and never have to work agin, you betcha!

    2. edgydrifter

      Gold is shiny.
      Birds love shiny things.
      Birds are basically winged lizards.
      Conservatives have lizard brains.
      Conservatives love gold.

  5. BarackMyWorld

    CNN points out that Reagan’s group ultimately decided a gold standard was a stupid idea, even in the face of double-digit inflation.

    See that, CNN?

    Pointing out facts that run contrary to someone's assertions…yes, that's JOURNALISM.

    Was that really so hard?

  6. MissTaken

    Of course he obsesses over gold. It's his currency for marital relations:

    Handjob – 1 gold bracelet
    Vaginal sex – 1 gold necklace
    Not having to pull out during vaginal sex – 1 gold necklace plus matching earrings
    Blowjob – 1 gold necklace, 1 set matching earrings, and 1 gold ring
    Anal – pages 7-14 of the current season's Tiffany catalog

    1. SorosBot

      OK, there goes my appetite. And i was just about to go to McDonald's for some anus burgers; you got me back for the Santorum thing.

      1. MittBorg

        Dood if you're gonna be hangin out with that pretty gal, you better find some nice restaurants around where you live. No McDonalds' anusburgers for yon Wonketeerz.

      2. Barb

        Good Soros! YOU ruined my lunch of a bean burrito with the Santorum reference. By the way, thanks for stopping me from eating that shit. xo

  7. justkillmenow

    "There’s something (insane) for everyone in Gingrich’s belly of ideas."

    Certainly plenty of room in there.

  8. Radiotherapy

    Newt's commitment here really has some teeth in it. A crowning achievement! He's going to get grilled.

  9. Baconzgood

    The gold standard won't work under the current economic model. The current belief is that we can expand the economy ad infinitum. Gold is a limited commodity. Thus endeth the lesson.

    1. NYNYNYjr

      I findeth a problem: the economy can't and should expand endlessly: if it can, then I say we can make gold too.

  10. SayItWithWookies

    Yes, it would be a completely brilliant idea to go from a society where wealth can be increased relative to available goods and services, back to an economy where everything is valued according to a relatively unchanging amount of gold we have.

    It would be like having fifty bucks, and assigning everything you own a value as a proportion of that fifty dollars. Now say you inherit a brand new car from your rich uncle — instead of that adding to your wealth, you just reapportion all your possessions with new values that never total over fifty dollars. Sound ridiculous? Welcome to the Newt-Paul economy — all deflation all the time.

  11. Texan_Bulldog

    Remember last summer when the 3rd Mrs. Newt forced him to take her on that Greek cruise? Does anyone else think maybe they should have held out for a romantic Italian cruise? Too soon?

  12. RedneckMuslin

    Put a cowboy hat on Ron Paul and you got yerself a prospectin' 49er there.

    The 1849 kind. Not the 2012 Super Bowl Champs!!!

  13. DahBoner

    Gold hasn't been used as a currency, since Medieval times.

    What does Newt say about the Black Plague and Witch Burning???

  14. CommieLibunatic

    I never understood the big deal about the Gold Standard. I understand how it works with every dollar being linked to gold physically sitting somewhere, but… why gold?

    I mean, don't we value gold for about the same reason we value any other trade medium (essentially because everyone agrees it has value)? If that's the case, then what would make gold any different?

    1. proudgrampa

      The only thing I can tell you from what I have read is that anything can be a medium of exchange, as you say, as long as everyone agrees that the medium has a certain value. Gold has a couple of advantages: it is relatively transportable and divisible. Everyone can weigh an amount of gold and determine what it is. Gold cannot be "created."

      Paper money, on the other hand, can be printed: a government can print its money and pay its debts with the paper, as long as people accept its value. For example, now that the Chinese hold a lot of our debt, they are starting to worry that if we print more dollars, they won't be worth as much as their original investment. Creating money from nothing is what inflation is all about.

      OK, an economics professor I'm not…

  15. proudgrampa

    Well,now. Long time readers will recall that I have advocated gold, silver and oil in our portfolios.

    While I do NOT advocate a "gold standard," the last decade has proven that continuous inflation has made these commodities more valuable. Buying gold when it was less than $300 / oz about a decade ago looks like a pretty smart move today (> $1600 / oz).

    Just sayin.

    Gingrich is still a putz.

  16. BaldarTFlagass

    "Newtius Maximus his name was. Hmm…promised me the known world, he did. I was to be taken to Rome, house by the Forums, slaves, asses' milk, as much gold as I could eat. Then, having his way with me he had, voom! Like a rat out of an aqueduct."

  17. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I think you misunderstood what Newt was saying. He was saying that he needed gold so that he could find a new young wife for the White House.

    1. emmelemm

      Yes, because the first one wasn't young and pretty enough to be First Lady material.

      God, I hate that disgusting fat fuck.

  18. DaRooster

    I am getting ready for the Green Standard… it will be worth its weight in… well… you know.

  19. FlownOver

    I have a nominee for the exploratory committee: the guy who just sent me this:

    Attention: Beneficiary,

    I am a Diplomat named Dr. Scott Greene, Mandated to deliver your inheritance to you in your country of residence.

    The funds total US$8.5 Million and you were made the beneficiary of these funds by a benefactor whose details will be revealed to you after handing over the funds to you in accordance with the Agreement I signed with the benefactor when he enlisted my assistance in delivering the funds to you.

    I am presently at JFK International Airport here in the United States of America and before I can deliver the package (funds) to you, you have to reconfirm the following information so as to ensure that I am dealing with the right person:

    1. Full Name
    2. Residential Address
    3. Age
    4. Occupation
    5. Direct Telephone Numbers
    6. A Copy of Your Identification

    After verification of the information with what I have on file, I shall contact you so that we can make arrangements on the exact time I will be bringing your package to your residential address.

    Send the requested information so that we can proceed.

    Regards
    Diplomat Dr. Scott Greene

  20. Lynne

    The value of gold is just as arbitrary as that of paper money…all in the eye of the beholder. If you can't eat it, drink it, wear it, get out of the rain or stay warm in it, it's ultimately worthless. How many tons of gold for a loaf of bread when the shit hits the fan?

    We could also go to the limestone discs used on Yap in the South Pacific (They are definitely "hard" money…look it up) or trade beads or…?

  21. johnadamsxii

    Our experience of the last several decades shows that Keynesian monetary policy is a bust. Fiat money not only encourages corruption by big bankers by relieving them of moral hazard but also allows our government to spend money it doesn't have while the Fed earns interest on loans backed by nothing but government debt. And we all pay for it through inflation. A hard currency would encourage business and savings because people would know that the value of their money was not ever-changing.

  22. iburl

    Gingrich's plan to move to the gold standard concerns only the gold-plating of his bathroom fixtures and toilets. Gold can be easily polished by young black children.

  23. Serolf_Divad

    Isn't it ironic that those who most loudly shout "The U.S. is on the verge of turning into Greece" are those most emphatically pushing for a policy change that would, in fact, turn us into Greece practically over night?

  24. Nesnora

    If I got a velvety bag o' coin instead of direct deposit, I would consider not being 2 hours late every morning.

  25. DaSandman

    At this point I need Dan Savage to perform his magic with the lexicon and make the term "Newt Gingrich" equate to "bleeding anal fistula"

    1. Isyaignert

      I spell his name Gnewt, mostly because he's a fukkin' irritating useless scumbug of a man and also because his last name starts with a "G".

      Barney Frank thinks it's awesome that Gnewt is running for president and so do I. I might send the basturd $5 just to help keep it going. I can't wait for the Romney/Gnewt brawl to really get going. Those guys are nasty and soulless.

  26. GOPCrusher

    The one sure thing about Mitt winning the nomination, is watching the Evangelicals have a complete meltdown over whether to vote for the colored boy or the Satan Worshipper, would provide months of chuckles. Then we would have the Tea Baggers losing their brain stems over a "moderate" Republiklan.

  27. NYNYNYjr

    I would like to see none of them win the nomination…Why can't we have some party to the left of the Democrats instead? Someone make the Green party work.

  28. emmelemm

    Colored boy was never in the running (for them). Satan Worshipper, well, let's think about it for a minute or two.

Comments are closed.