SHINY THINGS  3:00 pm January 18, 2012

Newt Gingrich Loves GOLD!

by Liz Colville

Newt Gingrich has joined his sudden kindred spirit Ron Paul in saying that he believes there should be some kind of exploratory committee “to look at the concept of how do we get back to hard money.” In a discussion Tuesday at a foreign policy forum in South Carolina, Gingrich said as president he would set up a “gold commission” similar to the one President Reagan established, though CNN points out that Reagan’s group ultimately decided a gold standard was a stupid idea, even in the face of double-digit inflation.

Oh, but in a delightful twist, Ron Paul was part of that Reagan commission, and was one of two people to support a return to gold. Two out of 17.

WHO IS THIS GUY? Either of them? Gingrich is really starting to prove himself as the jack-of-all-political-platforms of this race. There’s something (insane) for everyone in Gingrich’s belly of ideas. At the forum, Gingrich also argued that that the only thing the Fed should care about is “maintaining the stability of the dollar,” and if that means tying it to gold and hoping that somehow creates jobs (a big focus of the Fed right now), so be it. Then again, Newt seems to think the only reason people don’t have jobs is because they’re lazy and/or child labor laws prevent them from getting them. Maybe receiving their paychecks in SOLID GOLD will motivate Americans to find a place that will provide them with paychecks/velvety bags of coins??? [CNN]


Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


Barb January 18, 2012 at 3:14 pm

He also loves platinum blondes, coppery redheads, and he'd seek out a hummer from anyone at the Palladium.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Hard money.

Well, that's explains the fascination: sex and dollars.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Um, Liz? I found a typo. Lemme fix it for ya:

WHO IS THIS GUY? Either of them? Gingrich is really starting to prove himself as the jack-off-all-political-platforms of this race.

Data Exactly January 18, 2012 at 9:43 pm

More imperative to fix than the "that that" of sentence 9?

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

If Newt wants to emulate Reagan so much, why doesn't he just get Alzheimer's already and get it over with.

Beetagger January 18, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I hope he wins the coveted "Golden Dildo" this year.

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 18, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I thought the only gold Newt was interested came in a light blue box from Tiffany's?

WhatTheHolyHeck January 18, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Fortunately that does come in a velvety bag.

Assuming you like that particular shade of aqua.

GunToting[Redacted] January 18, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Can someone sane please explain the wingnut obsession with gold? It has NO inherent value nor any utility (other than in tiny amounts in electronics/computers). You can't eat it. It's sole value is its limited availability and the fact that it is shiny.

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Didn't the Roman's pour molten gold down peoples throats as a means of execution?

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Callista's dream date?

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 4:17 pm

The other way around; Roman Consul and member of the first triumvirate Marcus Crassus was reportedly executed by Parthians by having gold poured down his throat.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

No wonder Olivier was so hot to play him in Spartacus.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm

By criminy! There's gold in them thar hills, dadgummit! An if'n I jus takes my rifle, I kin stake a claim and never have to work agin, you betcha!

edgydrifter January 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Gold is shiny.
Birds love shiny things.
Birds are basically winged lizards.
Conservatives have lizard brains.
Conservatives love gold.

emmelemm January 18, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I give it an "A" – well done. Would have been an A+ if you had done it on a chalkboard.

BarackMyWorld January 18, 2012 at 3:27 pm

CNN points out that Reagan’s group ultimately decided a gold standard was a stupid idea, even in the face of double-digit inflation.

See that, CNN?

Pointing out facts that run contrary to someone's assertions…yes, that's JOURNALISM.

Was that really so hard?

James Michael Curley January 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Watch out Calista! The gold thing didn't work out too well for Shirley Eaton.

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Of course he obsesses over gold. It's his currency for marital relations:

Handjob – 1 gold bracelet
Vaginal sex – 1 gold necklace
Not having to pull out during vaginal sex – 1 gold necklace plus matching earrings
Blowjob – 1 gold necklace, 1 set matching earrings, and 1 gold ring
Anal – pages 7-14 of the current season's Tiffany catalog

littlebigdaddy January 18, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Threesome with a tranny?….priceless

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

You've never been to Tijuana, have you?

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

OK, there goes my appetite. And i was just about to go to McDonald's for some anus burgers; you got me back for the Santorum thing.

MittBorg January 18, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Dood if you're gonna be hangin out with that pretty gal, you better find some nice restaurants around where you live. No McDonalds' anusburgers for yon Wonketeerz.

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I'm not allowed where SorosBot lives, my p is too small.

MittBorg January 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Oh, honey, I'm sure SorosBot will have something to say about *that!*

Barb January 18, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Good Soros! YOU ruined my lunch of a bean burrito with the Santorum reference. By the way, thanks for stopping me from eating that shit. xo

justkillmenow January 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm

"There’s something (insane) for everyone in Gingrich’s belly of ideas."

Certainly plenty of room in there.

poncho_pilot January 21, 2012 at 3:30 am

one could theoretically cut him open like a tauntaun and crawl inside.

Schmannnity January 18, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Bring back William Jennings Bryan.

Radiotherapy January 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Newt's commitment here really has some teeth in it. A crowning achievement! He's going to get grilled.

NYNYNYjr January 18, 2012 at 11:53 pm

I don't get it.

Baconzgood January 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

The gold standard won't work under the current economic model. The current belief is that we can expand the economy ad infinitum. Gold is a limited commodity. Thus endeth the lesson.

TanzbodenKoenig January 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

You libruls and your empirical facts and critical thinking – typical elitist

ThundercatHo January 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

He prolly rides on one of them elite metros and lives in a fancy high-rise.

glamourdammerung January 18, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I always found this amusing as the goldnuts usually are pushing "trickle down" nonsense at the same time, even though both are based on contradicting economic models.

NYNYNYjr January 18, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I findeth a problem: the economy can't and should expand endlessly: if it can, then I say we can make gold too.

SayItWithWookies January 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Yes, it would be a completely brilliant idea to go from a society where wealth can be increased relative to available goods and services, back to an economy where everything is valued according to a relatively unchanging amount of gold we have.

It would be like having fifty bucks, and assigning everything you own a value as a proportion of that fifty dollars. Now say you inherit a brand new car from your rich uncle — instead of that adding to your wealth, you just reapportion all your possessions with new values that never total over fifty dollars. Sound ridiculous? Welcome to the Newt-Paul economy — all deflation all the time.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Say, can you lend me fifty bucks?

CommieLibunatic January 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I, for one, would like us to move towards monumental currency.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm

The temptation is to tell you to shut your Yap.

CommieLibunatic January 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Argh!! During the spasm that pun gave me, I hit the up-fist button!

orygoon January 18, 2012 at 3:39 pm

William Jennings Bryan, rest his soul, would plotz.

Texan_Bulldog January 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Remember last summer when the 3rd Mrs. Newt forced him to take her on that Greek cruise? Does anyone else think maybe they should have held out for a romantic Italian cruise? Too soon?

MightySix January 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Ehhh, wait another ten minutes or so.

FlownOver January 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Alas, too late.

RedneckMuslin January 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Put a cowboy hat on Ron Paul and you got yerself a prospectin' 49er there.

The 1849 kind. Not the 2012 Super Bowl Champs!!!

MightySix January 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Niners, huh? Wanna bet some gold on that?

BarackMyWorld January 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

When did this campaign turn into "Austin Powers 3"? No wonder it sucks so much.

RedneckMuslin January 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Ever since it became shagalicious, Baby.

DahBoner January 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Gold hasn't been used as a currency, since Medieval times.

What does Newt say about the Black Plague and Witch Burning???

CapnFatback January 18, 2012 at 4:07 pm

He's pro on the latter and sorry about having caused the former.

GhostBuggy January 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Don't give him ideas!

Negligently_Joe January 18, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Newt definitely loves a good witch hunt.

flamingpdog January 18, 2012 at 11:11 pm

And consider the blacks a plague.

MosesInvests January 18, 2012 at 9:25 pm

She turned me into a Newt!

CommieLibunatic January 18, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I never understood the big deal about the Gold Standard. I understand how it works with every dollar being linked to gold physically sitting somewhere, but… why gold?

I mean, don't we value gold for about the same reason we value any other trade medium (essentially because everyone agrees it has value)? If that's the case, then what would make gold any different?

proudgrampa January 18, 2012 at 5:20 pm

The only thing I can tell you from what I have read is that anything can be a medium of exchange, as you say, as long as everyone agrees that the medium has a certain value. Gold has a couple of advantages: it is relatively transportable and divisible. Everyone can weigh an amount of gold and determine what it is. Gold cannot be "created."

Paper money, on the other hand, can be printed: a government can print its money and pay its debts with the paper, as long as people accept its value. For example, now that the Chinese hold a lot of our debt, they are starting to worry that if we print more dollars, they won't be worth as much as their original investment. Creating money from nothing is what inflation is all about.

OK, an economics professor I'm not…

CapnFatback January 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Of course he does; Twinkies are gold.

proudgrampa January 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Well,now. Long time readers will recall that I have advocated gold, silver and oil in our portfolios.

While I do NOT advocate a "gold standard," the last decade has proven that continuous inflation has made these commodities more valuable. Buying gold when it was less than $300 / oz about a decade ago looks like a pretty smart move today (> $1600 / oz).

Just sayin.

Gingrich is still a putz.

Baconzgood January 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Can you send me brochure on the 20 franc rooster?

proudgrampa January 18, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Urban_Achiever January 18, 2012 at 4:11 pm

This is good news for doubloons!

Callyson January 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

What, he's over diamonds now? That won't go over very well with Callista…

Guppy January 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm


BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 4:29 pm

"Newtius Maximus his name was. Hmm…promised me the known world, he did. I was to be taken to Rome, house by the Forums, slaves, asses' milk, as much gold as I could eat. Then, having his way with me he had, voom! Like a rat out of an aqueduct."

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 18, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I think you misunderstood what Newt was saying. He was saying that he needed gold so that he could find a new young wife for the White House.

emmelemm January 18, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Yes, because the first one wasn't young and pretty enough to be First Lady material.

God, I hate that disgusting fat fuck.

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Your move, Glenn Beck.

KenLayIsAlive January 18, 2012 at 7:15 pm


Dr_Zoidberg January 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I say, we return to the days when wimmins was legal tender!

glamourdammerung January 18, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Invading Afghanistan kind of ruined the white girls/old crates of Soviet weapons exchange rate.

GhostBuggy January 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"Gingrich’s belly of ideas"


DaRooster January 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I am getting ready for the Green Standard… it will be worth its weight in… well… you know.

FlownOver January 18, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I have a nominee for the exploratory committee: the guy who just sent me this:

Attention: Beneficiary,

I am a Diplomat named Dr. Scott Greene, Mandated to deliver your inheritance to you in your country of residence.

The funds total US$8.5 Million and you were made the beneficiary of these funds by a benefactor whose details will be revealed to you after handing over the funds to you in accordance with the Agreement I signed with the benefactor when he enlisted my assistance in delivering the funds to you.

I am presently at JFK International Airport here in the United States of America and before I can deliver the package (funds) to you, you have to reconfirm the following information so as to ensure that I am dealing with the right person:

1. Full Name
2. Residential Address
3. Age
4. Occupation
5. Direct Telephone Numbers
6. A Copy of Your Identification

After verification of the information with what I have on file, I shall contact you so that we can make arrangements on the exact time I will be bringing your package to your residential address.

Send the requested information so that we can proceed.

Diplomat Dr. Scott Greene

johnnyzhivago January 18, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I'd like to read all that but I JUST WON the Irish Microsoft Powerpoint Lottery Prize of $2.1 million and need to fill out my forms to collect the loot!

Selfish_T January 18, 2012 at 6:29 pm

He sure is an "idea man". Just like I'm an idea man after about eleven beers.

Lynne January 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm

The value of gold is just as arbitrary as that of paper money…all in the eye of the beholder. If you can't eat it, drink it, wear it, get out of the rain or stay warm in it, it's ultimately worthless. How many tons of gold for a loaf of bread when the shit hits the fan?

We could also go to the limestone discs used on Yap in the South Pacific (They are definitely "hard" money…look it up) or trade beads or…?

MosesInvests January 18, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Wampum standard!

johnadamsxii January 18, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Our experience of the last several decades shows that Keynesian monetary policy is a bust. Fiat money not only encourages corruption by big bankers by relieving them of moral hazard but also allows our government to spend money it doesn't have while the Fed earns interest on loans backed by nothing but government debt. And we all pay for it through inflation. A hard currency would encourage business and savings because people would know that the value of their money was not ever-changing.

iburl January 18, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Gingrich's plan to move to the gold standard concerns only the gold-plating of his bathroom fixtures and toilets. Gold can be easily polished by young black children.

ManchuCandidate January 18, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Barry Obama: Do you expect me to talk?
Newty Goldfinger: No, Mr. Obama. I expect you to die when you hear about all about my awesome ideas I stole from Racist Paul.

ttommyunger January 18, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Hey, Mister idea man; here's an idea: go fuck yourself. You're welcome.

fuflans January 19, 2012 at 12:49 am

what i really like is gold in my ears.

and on my fingers.

Serolf_Divad January 19, 2012 at 5:34 am

Isn't it ironic that those who most loudly shout "The U.S. is on the verge of turning into Greece" are those most emphatically pushing for a policy change that would, in fact, turn us into Greece practically over night?

Nesnora January 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

If I got a velvety bag o' coin instead of direct deposit, I would consider not being 2 hours late every morning.

Allmighty_Manos January 19, 2012 at 11:05 am

I for one think it is time for a corn-syrup based currency.

BZ1 January 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Newt + stability, doesn't jibe …

DaSandman January 20, 2012 at 11:18 am

At this point I need Dan Savage to perform his magic with the lexicon and make the term "Newt Gingrich" equate to "bleeding anal fistula"

Isyaignert January 22, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I spell his name Gnewt, mostly because he's a fukkin' irritating useless scumbug of a man and also because his last name starts with a "G".

Barney Frank thinks it's awesome that Gnewt is running for president and so do I. I might send the basturd $5 just to help keep it going. I can't wait for the Romney/Gnewt brawl to really get going. Those guys are nasty and soulless.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I sort of want Mitt to win, if only to shut the Teabaggers and Eric Cantor the hell up next Congress.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

The one sure thing about Mitt winning the nomination, is watching the Evangelicals have a complete meltdown over whether to vote for the colored boy or the Satan Worshipper, would provide months of chuckles. Then we would have the Tea Baggers losing their brain stems over a "moderate" Republiklan.

NYNYNYjr January 18, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I would like to see none of them win the nomination…Why can't we have some party to the left of the Democrats instead? Someone make the Green party work.

DaRooster January 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

… if they watched it.

emmelemm January 18, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Colored boy was never in the running (for them). Satan Worshipper, well, let's think about it for a minute or two.

MittBorg January 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm

What brain stems?

MittBorg January 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Win the nom or win the election? I'd be fine with Mittens winning the nom, but gawd help the nearest person if he wins the election.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: