#WINNING  12:33 pm January 18, 2012

Protests Work! Cornyn & Rubio Drop SOPA, Obama Rejects Keystone

by Ken Layne

It's funny cuz it's true.Here’s a little good news to cheer up your Wednesday: Today’s anti-censorship protest across the Internet has already forced Republican senators Marco Rubio and John Cornyn to drop their support of the SOPA bill. Already! Rubio and Cornyn weren’t just supporters, though — Rubio co-sponsored the legislation that would allow the U.S. government to shut down almost any website for almost any reason, and Cornyn heads the GOP’s Senate campaign group.

The New York Times reports:

Internet protests on Wednesday quickly cut into Congressional support for anti-web piracy measures as lawmakers abandoned and rethought their backing for legislation that pitted new media interests against some of the most powerful old-line commercial interests in Washington.

If you haven’t filled out the easy form to send a note of protest to your senators and representatives, please do it now. So easy! And it works!

In other “protests sometimes actually work” news, the Obama Administration will officially deny the Keystone XL tar-sands oil pipeline permit today, after months of protests by environmental groups and growing outrage from Obama’s own Democrat supporters. This does not mean the pipeline is completely dead, but it’s a firm step in the right direction. The Los Angeles Times reports:

The Obama administration has decided that it will not issue a permit before Feb. 21 for the controversial Keystone XL oil pipeline, according to people with knowledge of the decision.

The announcement, which could come as early as Wednesday, comes in response to a 60-day deadline Congress imposed in late December on the decision-making process for the permit as part of a deal to extend a payroll-tax break and unemployment benefits for two months.

Hooray, for now. [New York Times/Los Angeles Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 139 comments }

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 12:35 pm

What kind of protest should we launch to make Cornyn and Rubio go away too?

Crank_Tango January 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

all of 'em, katie?

Callyson January 18, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Let's start with an website. Is idiotsbegone.com taken?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Maybe if we ask Mayor Nutter nicely, he'll tell them to stop being idiots and assholes.

Barb January 18, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Cue angry Palin response in 3…2….1…..

Chet Kincaid January 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

“presdnt” won’t lay pipe 2 keep oil industry erect; pipeline is profitlactive against foreign dependents. dry economy needs this lube,Obama!

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Obummer obvz going with Muslin terrorist friends like Bill Ayers over free enterprise 'Merican Exxon company, too. Also.

glamourdammerung January 18, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Like a Palin besides possibly Trig knows what prophylactics are.

Nostrildamus January 19, 2012 at 1:16 am

Fox could save a cool mil or so if, every time they needed a Palin response, they just ran this instead.

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 12:37 pm

This is bad news for Fox News.

Redhead January 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Actually, it might be good news. I'm beginning to think that they pull half their maps, statistics, politicians' political parties, etc. from Wikipedia. They'll be happy it's back on.

emmelemm January 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Nope: It just means they can say, "Congress approves of piracy! And Obummerz doesn't want us to have energy independence!"

VinnyThePooh January 18, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Mitch McConnell's head is shovel ready.

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Another day of TURKEY LIBEL!!!

sarah_connor January 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

sir that is WINNING

smokefillednewyear January 18, 2012 at 12:38 pm

O happy day!

freakishlywrong January 18, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Have any of the so-called leadership that has filibustered/not written any jobs legislation come forward yet with a bipartisan response along the lines of "jawb killing" decisions by the President are hurting the country?

Edit: Why yes freakish, they have: President Obama is about to destroy tens of thousands of American jobs and sell American energy security to the Chinese. The President won’t stand up to his political base even to create American jobs. This is not the end of this fight. Boner's manservant/mouthpeice.

FlownOver January 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Manservant Hecubus, by any chance?

elviouslyqueer January 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

President Obama is about to destroy tens of thousands of American jobs

Or at least 242 in the House and 47 in the Senate, one hopes.

ph7 January 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

sell American energy security to the Chinese.

Although it took 25 years, I'm glad to see the baton officially passed from the Red Menace to the Yellow Menace.

SexySmurf January 18, 2012 at 12:39 pm

If shit like this keeps happening I just might lose my youthful cynicism.

Dashboard Buddha January 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

and me my old man cynicism…well, probably not.

Guppy January 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Don't worry, the bills aren't actually dead yet.

Geminisunmars January 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I'll believe it's not gonna happen until it actually doesn't happen. Wha?

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I'd leave the idiot-strings on the cynicism, though, just in case.

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Three cheers, ███, ███, █████ !!1!!

OneDollarJuana January 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I ███ that!

Gl████Mc██████ January 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

CLOSE THIS SITE DOWN NOW! **ROGUE WEBSITE ALERT SIREN!**

paris biltong January 18, 2012 at 12:40 pm

So in other words, no censorship, no pipeline and in return no unemployment benefits? What kind of nickel-and-dime deal is that?

BarackMyWorld January 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Don't scare me like that.

slowhansolo January 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm

There must be some other reason.

Fi10Gale January 18, 2012 at 2:54 pm

You may be right. SOPA (Stop Online Piracy) is the house version of the bill to curb our rights. The senate version of the bill coming up is PIPA (Protect Internet (from) Piracy) which is almost as bad.

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm

And the president's balls grew three sizes that day!!!

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

In other news, Marcus is licking his chops to spear head the #OWH movement.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:14 pm

*sings*
Ha-boo lor-ay, ha-boo lor-ay…

slithytoves January 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm

That's a small but positive step to making 2012 better than that piece of shit we called 2011.

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

So I can post my Marco Rubio 1992 MTV Beach House video now?

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Wait a minute. This is no Ken Layne post.

freakishlywrong January 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I KNOW. I was thinking the same damn thing!

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

… I know, there's "cheering"

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

…good news to cheer up your Wednesday?!! wtf?

Crank_Tango January 18, 2012 at 12:56 pm

it's a trap!

Gl████Mc██████ January 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Damn congress, they went and censored despair from the intarweb!

Chillwillard January 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

He forgot to sign in as "Wonkette Jr."

vulpes82 January 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I'm scared for tomorrow's post, now. What horror will he unveil to bring us back to the proper levels of world-weary despair and alcoholism? My mind shudders.

Chet Kincaid January 18, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Probably something from William S. Burroughs.

Guppy January 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm

He ran out of this month's booze money.

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Or so soused he became optimistic.

vulpes82 January 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I don't think there's enough booze in the world for that.

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I meant for the duration of writing that post.

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 3:27 pm

He musta found that stash of medical mj.

Geminisunmars January 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

It took a long long while, but at last the anti-depressants have kicked in.

Limeylizzie January 18, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I know , I got through it without considering suicide, weeping or throwing something.

freakishlywrong January 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Man, our internet overlord must have some serious juju to scare a couple of demagogic assholes such as Rubio and Cornhole.

Texan_Bulldog January 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Rubio probably wants the Veep gig & Cornyn…hmmmm…maybe he was promised the videos of him boinking a goat would never be released?

BarackMyWorld January 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Now if only there was some way to stop those pro-pipeline oil company ads they air on MSNBC every 10 minutes.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Is that … actual good news? It's been so rare since 2010 that I'm really not sure how to feel anymore.

Limeylizzie January 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I was going to say something very, very dirty but why besmirch such a happy post?

ShaveTheWhales January 18, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Oh, I'm sure soros still knows how to feel.

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

And Crispy Creme Christie sayz Mittens should release his ███ records!

prommie January 18, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Christie should release his cholesterol records. Oh, and also how many State contracts have been awarded to donors to his PAC.

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Sir Cumference (thank you, Charles Barkley) sez it's none of your business where his kids go to school and who he awards pork to.

Mumblety██ January 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Reptilian and ruminant Reepubs are already devising how to exploit free labor from this "Protests Working" segment of the population.

Ducksworthy January 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I think partial approval of the Keystone Pipeline would be a good idea. Obama should approve the part of it that leads to, and terminates in, John Cornyn's back yard.

FlownOver January 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Assuming you mean Cornyn's back yard, as opposed to the lawn located farthest from the street at his house.

Ducksworthy January 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

That would be the Keystone Enema. Works for me.

slowhansolo January 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Way I see it, Hollywood can shut down the Internet the second it stops putting out nothing but shitty retreads and focus-driven pap. Having a hard time believing Al Franken is holding water for intellectual bankruptcy.

ElPinche January 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Protecting US corporate media from theft is like putting guards around a garbage dump. The opposition in Congress should just play Green Lantern over and over again to make the point that it's not fucking worth it.

HarryButtle January 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

This is just a tease, right? What AREN'T they telling us?

IRLTroll January 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

We're all being moved to Gitmo. Easier to lock us down than monitor the internets. Also bails out the private prison industry.

Fi10Gale January 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

SOPA is written in the House. PIPA is coming and it was written in the Senate. This is just a battle, the war continues.

MildMidwesterner January 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

My next protest will be to continually smoke cuban cigars until we close Guantanamo.

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I like that! Since I don't smoke cigars, I'll continue to smoke pot until they legalize it. In solidarity, my brothah!!! Yes we can. Yes we can!! Yes we can!!!!

TanzbodenKoenig January 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

<PUFF> Yes we- wait what?

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

The whole problem with the pipeline is poor perception due to the naming of it. Should have gone with "Keystone SM" or "Keystone Size 2" instead of XL. "XL?!? My God, that thing must be huge!!"

FlownOver January 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Hence the simplicity of terminating it in Cornyn's back yard. See above.

paris biltong January 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

And as much of a pain in the ass as a worksheet program.

flamingpdog January 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Have you been in Wal-Mart lately? XL is the new SM. Easier to find a XXXXL than a SM.

Chichikovovich January 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Celebration, let the bells of freedom ring!
.
.
.
So can we say "re+arded" now?

paris biltong January 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

As well as link to a site that says returded.

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Wow! The administrators are getting good. They deleted a suggestion to go with troglodyte. Or more specifically, a play on troglodyte.

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 1:39 pm

█etarded, r█tarded, re█arded, ret█rded, retar█ed, retard█d, retarde█, ████████, retаrded.

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Yes, but you can't use the young lad's name.

Chillwillard January 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Internet protests on Wednesday quickly cut into Congressional support…

Guys, you know that Congress is just fucking with us, right?

gullywompr January 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

So Obama kicked the can of energy independence and jobs down the road again, eh?

MittsHairHelmet January 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Of all the freshman Republicans on capitol hill, Rubio is by far the smartest and he's an idiot.

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Rubio can't be the smartest one. He ain't even a "Merikun. No way no how is some furriner smarter than our home grown sons and daughters. Just ask Ron Paul, he'll tell ya.

Chillwillard January 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Somebody needs to tell Republicans that "Keystone XL" has nothing to do with that shitty fratboy beer they loved to drink back in college.

Ducksworthy January 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I'm sorry Hollywood but you haven't produced anything worth stealing in over 30 years. Drivel and Pap seem to be your most productive screen writers.

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Hollywood is, and always been, one of the biggest rackets in history.
Artists? Entertainment? Film Stars? What a shuck.

EatsBabyDingos January 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Isn't Keystone XL the new 142 oz Keystone beer? Fits easily in a Hefty bag for easy drinkin' under the overpass all day long.

LabRodent January 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

When Rentboy.com and Latinbooty.com went offline in protest Rubio and Cornyn drop the bill.

EatsBabyDingos January 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Congress acting like grownups? Why, it makes me want to put down the intertubes and get back to work. Thankfully, my jerb at Homeland Security pays me to take copious notes on the comments made by bad Americans in intertube comment sections, so type slowly since I iz so Keith Stoned.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Whats this policy and politics stuff? Boooooorrriiiiinnnngggg. Tits or GTFO.

El Pi█che January 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Will a post on Newt suffice?

prommie January 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Newt has mighty manboobs.

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Lemmi verify all this stuff on the internet.

Callyson January 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

So not only did the Reeps shoot themselves in the foot with their opposition to extending the payroll tax cuts and UI benefits, they also couldn't get Obama to cave on the XL pipeline like they thought he would. The wingnuts must be so confused…

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Boehner is applying his "War Tan".

EatsBabyDingos January 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Pipelines are people too, my friend.

CivicHoliday January 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm

:D

MiniMencken January 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Our little Barry seems to finally have grown a pair. I am so proud!

Spurning Beer January 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Why do people say "Grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding!

Wisdom from Betty White

MiniMencken January 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Now that you put it that way, I will start telling peeps to grow a vajayjay.

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Soon, he will notice hair beginning to grow under his arms, on his face, and around his genital area.

mereoblivion January 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

To paraphrase that Modest Mouse album, this is good news for people who like good news.

Gainsbourg69 January 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Rubio is going to be a one term senator.

mereoblivion January 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

'Cause he'll be movin' on up to VP?

El Pi█che January 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Maybe of his home country of Communist Cuba .

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Unless Christie invites him over for a Jersey "lunch".

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Rubio would just be a snack for Christie. Grizzly Adams would be more "lunch sized".

Guppy January 18, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Once in a very long while, GOP hatred of "lamestream media" accomplishes something productive.

hagajim January 18, 2012 at 1:19 pm

At least for one day Obama has the swinging dick in D.C.

poorgradstudent January 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Yay! But never forget, things like SOPA are what happens when Democrats and Republicans put aside their differences.

not that Dewey January 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Too optimistic; didn't read

Geminisunmars January 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm

That made something burble up out of me. Why, yes, a chuckle, I believe it was.

BZ1 January 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

When the environmental review needed a year and a half to finish its work, the feeb repubs who forced an unnecessary deadline, makes them the real villains…

HarryButtle January 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Too wordy…the Repubes will counter with "THAT BLAH PRESIDENT KILLS JERBS!" and who do you think the mouth-breathers are gonna believe?

MinAgain January 18, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I love it when a plan comes together.

ElPinche January 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

To nip this in the bud, they should play Green Latern and Sucker Punch over and over again during a congressional session. This will make the point that our shitty fucking media isn't worth protecting anyways.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Have not seen Sucker Punch yet, but I recently viewed a movie on Netflix On Demand called Bitch Slap, which I highly recommend if you are into high quality crap.

DaRooster January 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Aaargh!! You kent do away with me Matey!

What? Different pirates… OK.

GregComlish January 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

“The problem for the content industry is they just don’t know how to mobilize people,” said John P. Feehery, a former Republican leadership aide and executive at the motion picture lobby. “They have a small group of content makers, a few unions, whereas the Internet word, the social media world especially, has a tremendous reach. They can reach people in ways we never dreamed of before. "

Yes, the media industry just doesn't have what it takes to reach people. All they have is television, radio, periodicals, billboards, movies, books, artists, actors, writers, musicians, designers, and a large segment of web 2.0. How will they ever manage to get their fair say in this hostile environment?

sati_demise January 18, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I think you may have something there.

emmelemm January 18, 2012 at 3:07 pm

And money. Lots and lots of fucking money.

And lobbyists.

UGH.

OneYieldRegular January 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Let's take this moment to shine some light on American Petroleum Industry president Jack Gerard, who recently, speaking like some Mafioso, issued a public threat to Obama that his re-election would be made impossible should he not issue a permit for Keystone. A captain of industry just cold coming out and saying to the government: do our bidding or else. I'm guessing Gerard never saw "Born Yesterday."

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Kind of like Boehner, McConnell, etc. sending that letter to Bernanke telling him to either stop doing things to help the economy or face the political repercussions.

Extempor████ January 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

#Occupy████!

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Well, since TransCanada has already sold the oil to be produced to the Chinese, the pipeline needed to be constructed all the way to the Gulf Coast to be loaded on tankers. If this pipeline was really all about America's energy security, it would have only needed to be built as far as North Dakota.

Negropolis January 19, 2012 at 2:15 am

Bingo. This pipeline has absolutely nothing to do with "energy independence", which is another focus-grouped conservative term to justify oil drilling every fuckin' where within the United States.

sati_demise January 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm

But Obama can still indefinitely detain anyone he wants with no trial, amirite?

oh, that was LAST year.

ttommyunger January 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

"…Cornyn & Rubio Drop SOPA…" Typo, right? Cornyn and Rubio drop SOAP, right? Fixed.

glamourdammerung January 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

This just proves Obama is morally weak.

DahBoner January 18, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Now if only D.C. would mandate condoms for Republicans…

Chet Kincaid January 18, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Fuck the corporations and their intellectual property! It's a lot easier to watch my fucked-up DVDs from the guy by the gas station if I don't have to think about any artists.

Chet Kincaid January 18, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I'm supposed to get out my pitchfork because Google, of all giant, evil corporations, put some black marks under it's all-seeing eyes for a day? Google, whose business model is largely built on monetizing other people's shit and laughing all the way to the bank? Right.

lulzmonger January 18, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Play SOPA off, Keyboard Cat.
One series of tubes gets a reprieve, while another series of tubes gets the cold shoulder.

Gotta wonder if the impending possibility of epic box- & pizza deliveries might sway a few votes. Like Colbert said, "This is a hornet's nest, & now I am going to put my penis into it" may not be the wisest strategy to use with Anonymous-type folks online.

sati_demise January 18, 2012 at 10:31 pm
Nostrildamus January 19, 2012 at 1:20 am

This is great! I could really go for Santorum creamcup right now.

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