TWO-STEPPING WITH NEWT  1:00 pm January 18, 2012

Gingrich’s Latest Target: Elitist Apartment-Dwelling Subway Riders

by Liz Colville

down with hipsters

In a speech at a rally for the National Association of Home Builders last Thursday, posing in front of an unbuilt home that no one will ever buy because no one can get a mortgage, alleged fiscal conservative Newt Gingrich argued on behalf of home ownership and government support of it, and in the process ridiculed people who ride the subway, of which there are apparently some in this country. Gingrich determined that people who ride the subway also don’t own homes, and lazily take public transportation that, well, their tax dollars help pay for from their “high-rise apartments” to their jobs at “fancy newspapers in the middle of town.” These elitist assholes don’t see the value of owning their own home (or owning their own job?), Gingrich surmised. Maybe they should just…like…move to Paris! Where there is more subway than there is Subway, and where being a snob doesn’t get you verbally excommunicated by a windbag with too much time on his hands.

The segment in question (and here is the whole 14-minute video, if you really want it):

Those who, you know, live in high-rise apartment buildings writing for fancy newspapers in the middle of town after they ride the metro, who don’t understand that for most Americans the ability to buy a home, to have their own property, to have a sense of belonging is one of the greatest achievements of their life, and it makes them feel like they are good solid citizens…

Here are a few of the million reasons this makes no sense.

1. Implying that America should have less public transportation than it already does is … amazing/not surprising, coming from someone whose hobby involves fabricating the way things were in olden times.

2. Gingrich used to advise Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which the government/we control(s) with our monies. With this speech, Gingrich is basically back to where he stood before he ran for president, when he was an “historianian,” if you will. He now positions himself as someone who wants the government out of mortgages and everything else. Less than a month ago he was saying that very thing, calling for the breakup of Fannie and Freddie.

3. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s nothing fancy about newspapers. [Wall Street Journal]

 
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{ 232 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] January 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Okay, so we're back to advocating that ANYONE, regardless of their economic situation, should be a homeowner? Great! That worked out so well the last time.

ph7 January 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Let them eat drywall!

Generation[redacted] January 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Dibs on the copper pipe and wiring!

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 2:36 pm

John Paulson thanks all who contributed to the effort.

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

He's just jealous Jared lost all that weight, and Then became a shill.

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 1:17 pm

The only time Newt's been down on the subway was when Calista serviced him in the Subway parking lot.

Barb January 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

$5.00 quarter foot long.

MittBorg January 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Inch.

Radiotherapy January 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I need to do that black out thing in my mind after that imagery.

hagajim January 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Eeeerrgghhh! Just threw up in my mouth.

MrFizzy January 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

We can only hope that he will touch a third rail at some point and end up a roasted newtmallow.

Mumblety██ January 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Wouldn't take a bite out of it though.. . a mushmallow full of arsenic.

BarackMyWorld January 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Demagogue be demagoguing.

elviouslyqueer January 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Newt is obviously still bitter over the time he got caught in the Metro's turnstile and had to be extracted with the Jaws of Life.

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I guess owning a co-op or condo in New York isn't the same as owning a house.
(Check out the floor plan.)

Mahousu January 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

With 10 bathrooms, it might actually have enough for Newt.

DaRooster January 18, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Who the hell needs a library, study and an office?

We ain't gonna be able to read anyhow…

fuflans January 18, 2012 at 5:38 pm

well that sure as shit isn't the same as owning my house.

Biff January 18, 2012 at 7:00 pm

If I want to look down at that from my <700 sqft stick-built house, it is my gawd-given right to do so.

Mumblety██ January 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Newt it seems can only boost a favored industry's ego by treading upon another sector targeted for false contrast. Add contrived grievance and logical fallacies and you've got the masterful rigmarole that is Newtspeak, appreciated by former school-bullies and Republicanker-sores everywhere.

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Eric Canker-sore asked that you stop picking on him.

hagajim January 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I worked for a fucking newspaper for 10 years, and I never made enough money doing that to own a home. Fuck off fatty!

comrad_darkness January 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

You were clearly too stupid to just ask a large, semi-privitazed government entity for several million dollars, just because.

finallyhappy January 18, 2012 at 3:02 pm

is a fucking newspaper like the section you find in the middle of the Washington Blade or the back pages of the Washington or Philly City Paper?
Because those ads look like they would bring in more money thanthe non-fucking newspapers

Negligently_Joe January 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Right, us public-transit city-dwelling renters are such fucking elitists who are completely out of touch with how The Actual American People live, unlike multimillionaires from Fairfax County with half-million dollar jewelry store tabs who manage to make careers out of sneering at renters who ride subways.

We totally rent apartments because we think we're too good for home ownership, obviously!

PsycWench January 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Obviously! And the presence of your rental apartments and your place of work in the city has never improved the city in any way, shape or form.

Nesnora January 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm

that and I for one thoroughly enjoy splurging the $2.50 to inhale the aromatic human feces and despair everyday for an hour.

But I'm not a Real American. I don't get complimentary Dom Pérignon on my ride to pass the time, along with the aging blonde that gives my bic-dick a stiff one for a mere smattering of diamonds… or maybe it's the fact I have to work and I can't fart-out invoices just for flapping my blubberous neck rolls to form words…

finallyhappy January 18, 2012 at 3:05 pm

$2.50?? I pay $3.35 to ride the elitest Washington Metro from Silver Spring to Federal Triangle(that is not the super rush hour fare- just rush hour). I enjoy listening to other people's loud music and their highly personal phone calls- also when someone sits down next to me at 9:10 am and starts drinking alcohol- or has clothing exuding weed(do you younguns still call it that?)

Generation[redacted] January 18, 2012 at 2:37 pm

If they were real Americans they would all buy houses in New Jersey and drive SUVs into downtown every morning!

BarackMyWorld January 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Shorter Newt: WHUT HOUSING BUBBLE???

neiltheblaze January 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm

All these years of riding the subway and I never realized I was engaging in an elitist activity.

neiltheblaze January 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Every time I get to my stop I think "I've just been rubbing elbows with Elect."!

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Yeah, I thought subway riding was stereotypically done by a different shade of people that Newt hates (or pretends to hate for the base, which is just as bad).

Fare la Volpe January 18, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I read a book years back about Newt Gingrich's rise to power in the "New South," and how a centerpiece of his early Georgian campaign was railing against people who ride buses and live in apartments.

He stopped just short of accusing them of eating fried chicken and watermelon all the damn time.

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Just last week whilst watching an Oakland youth take what one calls a "bowel movement" on the subway floor I remembered to pick up extra arugula and dijon mustard from the oh-so elite 7-11 on the street corner.

neiltheblaze January 18, 2012 at 2:16 pm

See? Non-stop glamor!

anniegetyerfun January 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Well, now I guess I know how the other half lives, Miss Lah-dee-dah.

Nesnora January 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm

And here I thought I was an exclusive guest to an elitist nouveau performance piece…

finallyhappy January 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

years of Philly subway riding was not elitist but I do believe my many years of the Washington Metro system(bus and subway) qualifies- esp when you take the S-2 or S-4(16th street bus) instead of the 79(express down 9th street)

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Gosh darn elitist homeless schizophrenics! They should just get a job, instead of expecting to have everything handed to them.

Negropolis January 19, 2012 at 1:44 am

Sleeping if you're lucky, Gojira, if you're fuckin' lucky.

MildMidwesterner January 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm

"high rise apartment buildings"

I'm sure that Gingrich is referring to New Yorkers and not Washingtonians, since DC proper does not have "high rise" buildings.

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Newt's speaking of those "dee-luxe apartments in the sky-hi-hi".

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

But it looks as if Newt gobbled up their piece of the pie.

Kaia Mursi January 18, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Is there another “fancy newspaper” in New York besides the NYT? Maybe Newt has a point? Seems sort of unfair to build an entire subway system just for NYT writers.

WootInTarnation January 18, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Ah, that's the 2-for-1 SuperStalin Elite-o-radicator Special! High-rise = NYC + Faaan-ceeeeey. Metro = DC. Gotta give Newt some credit. He can be a real clever one. Especially when he's using all those "truth-liberating" skills he's honed over the years freeing the Real Story from the tenacious red grasp of all those elitist, academic, so-called "professional" historians in their faaan-cy, high-rise Ivory Towers.

OkieDokieDog January 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Tear down all those apartment buildings and build parking lots!

Paid for by parking lot paving companies
(We never use illegal labor. Pinky swear!)

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 5:35 pm

And pave paradise, while you're at it.

Negropolis January 19, 2012 at 1:47 am

Koran libel!

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

If those elitist motherfuckers would just finish high school and get married and have kids, they could afford to buy a home.

orygoon January 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Newt is talking about Fox News folks. I'm confused.

muthalovin January 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Fannie and Freddie approve of this message.

sarah_connor January 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

C'mon, don't you want to mention that I ride the subway with black people and homeless unwashed people and people with AIDS and people named Juan, just because of the elitism of it all??? Would you just put two and two together, you moron!

arihaya January 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Newt Gingrich, the best lobbyist mortgage industry can buy

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Historically speaking, of course.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I suppose he understands that he's the Republiklan version of The Weakest Link, so he's setting up for his next job opportunity.

Biff January 18, 2012 at 8:31 pm

You meant missing link, right?

V572 the Merciless January 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The entire business model of the business interests that support Republicans is based on the Orwellian "steel wheels bad; rubber tires good" mode of thinking that leads to more freeways, more oil, more wars for oil, more defense contracting to support the wars, etc. Whatever differs from this threatens it. You can see it in the unreasoning hatred toward electric vehicles on auto blogs.

WootInTarnation January 18, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Shoot, you'd think they'd be over their anxiety already, what with the car companies buying up and physically fucking dismantling the railrods and tram systems over 60 years ago. Then SINKING the cars in the bays of California. That feat was accomplished so long ago that the cars had the time to turn into flourishing reefs, then be destroyed by decades of subsequent disatrous environmental non-policy. You'd think they'd be over their anxiety at who'll win that particular war.

Same thing with the mortally-wounded newspaper industry. But then, that's classical Rethug bullying strategy: pick an opponent so phenomenally weak that its last gasp was heard several industry deaths ago, put fightin' words in its earth-filled mouth, prop it up with enough buttresses to house every last adherent of a thriving medieval faith, then crow to the skies and pound your chest in triumph after your lackeys have detonated the explosives in the structure and you've claimed your bitterly-contested victory over your Goliath.

Bunch of mealy-mouthed, horse-stealing weasel farts, the lot of'em. They'd cheat a toddler at checkers. Which reminds me… If Willard hadn't tortured his dog to death, he could've pulled a Checkers moment like the OG of all these ratfucks. Grr. In Tricky's honor, I think I'll have a Scotch 'n' Seconal while playing Risk and fondling a big red button.

evan7257 January 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Hey, I live in a duplex!

real_dc_native January 18, 2012 at 3:51 pm

You're only half way to elitism.

Negropolis January 19, 2012 at 1:49 am

Well, then, you're a poor, lazy blah, because only poor, lazy blahs live in duplexes. You see, you can't win.

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

It's funny to hear him speak so fondly in reverence of the American Dream when his own party destroyed it. Pigfucker.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Its the vast left-win conspiracy, we shove public mass transit down the people's throats, so as to inoculate the people with socialism. George Will was saying so just a few weeks ago.

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I stopped wearing "dungarees" years ago.

ThundercatHo January 18, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Ha! I remember that column. What a fucking putz.

WootInTarnation January 18, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Ooh! That sounds germane to my interests. I've just graduated from knicker-bockers meself. I'll have to look that one up on the ol' teletype. Boy, that Geo. Will can certainly give those scoundrels the old one-two!

Srsly, I thought dude was dead as dead-tree newspapers. Had shuffled off this mortal coil. He must have a Linotype operator or two up his gartered-sleeves. Actually, with the exception of the ol' geezer himself, I'm sad to see all of those things disappear. For the record. I mean, acetate.

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

He's just trying to get $now-billy Grifter's maybe-someday-endorsement knowing there are no subways in Alaska/Arizona/wherever she is. Shrewd Newt, shrewd…

littlebigdaddy January 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

He sounds like he's broaching Vermin Supreme territory here, except instead of ponies everyone has to have a house.

Radiotherapy January 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I can still take the subway to get my food stamps and then go to Subway use them. Win-Win.

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Remember to save some of those stamps so you can buy drugs.

freakishlywrong January 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Fat goblin has obvs never ridden the subway. Obvs.

V572 the Merciless January 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Too many people in DC would be unable to resist the urge to nudge him off the Metro platform, so he can't.

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 5:03 pm

He couldn't fit through the door, or hell, even the tunnel.

fartknocker January 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

NAHB? That's the same NAHB that's been petitioning state legislators to remove a clause in the International Residential Code to remove a new provision requiring fire sprinklers in single family dwellings. Annually in the US about 2,000 people in house fires but NAHB says these fancy-schmancy sprinklers only cost about $0.90/square foot in new construction.

Newt has more bullshit than Amarillo stockyards.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Big Gubmint is hamstringing the job-makers! They would still be making shirts in Connecticut, by gum, if not for those pesky big gubmint fire codes.

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

You'd think they would consider people dying to be bad for business. Guess not.

ShaveTheWhales January 18, 2012 at 8:31 pm

No, no. Houses burn down = more demand for new houses, see?

Callyson January 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Those who, you know, live outside of the reality – based community writing for corporate interests and wingnut think tanks after they cash in on public speaking engagements where they tell their masters what they want to hear, who don’t understand that for most Americans the ability to have a job, to have a living wage, to have a sense of receiving what they have worked hard for (rather than see the 1% take it) is one of the greatest achievements of their life, and it makes them feel like they are good solid citizens…
/fixed

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I'm a bad liquid citizen myself.

jesus_vs_gojira January 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

And Newt is a gaseous one.

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Citizen Poot!

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I'm kinda mooshy, half-solid and half-liquid.

LiveToServeYa January 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Just like Rick Santorum!

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm

In viscosity only. Or are you also wearing a sweater vest today, BTF?

Neoyorquino January 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Ride the *metro*? Sounds like fancy-boy talk to me. Real Americans call it the "subway."

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I know that Metro is what they call the subway in… Europe!!!

comrad_darkness January 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Indeed. It is from the French, Metropolitain.
http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_fullxfull.180331799
Art Nouveau for the win!

Pro tip: Newt is a secret European.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

"Metro is what they call the subway in… Europe!!!"

*ominous music*
Dun-dun-dunnnnn!

RedneckMuslin January 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

They call it the Metro in Moscow. Hey there, KKKomrade!

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

That's because the only subway he knows is the DC metro.

orygoon January 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I visited the DC area for the first time, in middle age, just a couple of years ago. Saw sights and museums until my eyes bled and loved it all, but very especially loved the DC Metro.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I say we tear down every apartment building in New York and DC and replace them with single family homes. Think of 5th avenue lined with homes and gardens. This is urban planning we can believe in.

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm
smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

What would be nicer than a picket fence around Manhattan?

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Electrified fence complete with gun turrets around Arizona?

Negropolis January 19, 2012 at 1:55 am

How gauche, how antiquated. Wrought iron fences, baby; nothing less for the best.

not that Dewey January 19, 2012 at 7:33 am
pdiddycornchips January 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

This makes perfect sense! We shut down the subways and use the space underground to store all those annoying disposal people without jobs.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

We should given them an identity, you know, for convenience.

Let's call them…..hmmmm…Morlocks.

freakishlywrong January 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Weird. I just SOLD my house because conservative fiscal policy of the last ten years made it impossible to hang on to it. I'm making the same amount of money when I bought it, (1999), but, oddly, haven't seen a bonus or a stock option since I was laid off in the first Bush recession.

mayor_quimby January 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Elitist! You were actually able to sell? Real murkans like me just mail in my mortgage every month, via the toilet, you know. Typing my address into zillow.com is scarier than a HIV test after a month in Vegas, trust me I feel your pain. Congrats on the sale, I think.

Ducksworthy January 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I have to say that I preferred Gozer the Gozarian in his previous manifestation as a Giant Sloar. I find the Stay Puffed man extremely creepy.

BZ1 January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Newt has actually ridden on a subway, don't make me laugh (oh, actually make me laugh, I usually grit my teeth and scream, at anything he says)

cheetojeebus January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

under da el Newt should get a Kensington mouthwash.

finallyhappy January 18, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Philly!!!!

EatsBabyDingos January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

E.A.D.'s meet your new C.H.U.D.

not that Dewey January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

The US Interstate Highway System is a model of free-market self-reliance.

justkillmenow January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Here is middle America, there are people who own homes and STILL use public transit. We are very confused.

Wait…I just realized that this is also the home of a Big Ten university, so we are liberal elitists.

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Of course Big 10 schools are full of liberal elitists, that's why it's so hard for them to beat good red-blooded American SEC schools in BCS bowl games.

justkillmenow January 18, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Oh, man. That was cold. You had throw the SEC card…

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Like Lebowski/Eagles, I hate the fucking SEC.

Negropolis January 19, 2012 at 1:57 am

Suck it Georgia Bulldogs.

I feel so much better, now.

GregComlish January 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"You must work at one of them fancy word places"

SexySmurf January 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Those who, you know, live in high-rise apartment buildings writing for fancy newspapers in the middle of town after they ride the metro

I thought that hobo I saw masturbating on the bus yesterday looked suspiciously like David Brooks.

ourladyinheaven January 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Yes, it was Tom Friedman. Playing safely, in silence.

jus_wonderin January 18, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Oh my god, that image. Take. it. away.

finallyhappy January 18, 2012 at 3:14 pm

really- I know where he lives- and I am pretty sure there are no buses there!

arihaya January 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Republicans truly wish to bring back America to good ole 1800s when voting right and citizenship are limited to white, property owning men

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

And children were put to work aplowin' the fields or helpin' to deliver their newest sibling.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Lookit them city-slickers with their fancy high-rises and subways. They think they're better'n you!

Its exactly the same way we would always be able to egg on some redneck bully, back in middle school, to fight someone. "Billy Bob, you see that Clem boy strutting around all high and mighty. He thinks he's better than you, Billy Bob. You oughta show him, Billy Bob, him and his fancy pants shiny shirt."

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 5:16 pm

"He talks all proper-like. Git 'em!"

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Newt only went down below the city's surface one time in his life, and came back up into the sunshine with that CHUD wife of his.

Negligently_Joe January 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

But remember, when Obama suggests that the government needs tax revenue to finance its wars, that's the example of bitterly divisive class warfare.

bumfug January 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

"Them, doing their clothes washing in fancy 'laundromats'. Why I oughta…"

OneYieldRegular January 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

When you haven't experienced the luxury of having a drugged-out homeless guy pawing through the dryer that contains your clothes, which already have come out of the washer smelling like somebody's dog, it's easy to be envious.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

They think they're better than you, with their "shoes" and shirt-buttons.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:57 pm

And that fancy store-bought dirt…
Think they're so great, just because they never got caught driving without pants…
*grumble, mutter*
Lousy, rotten, stinkin'…

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Moe libel!

not that Dewey January 19, 2012 at 7:48 am

Spread out!

VinnyThePooh January 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Newt wants to evict the Jeffersons so they'll go buy a home?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

If Weezy can handle Mother Jefferson, Newt's cracker ass ought to be no challenge at all.

MinAgain January 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

What a tool.

ThundercatHo January 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Wait, now I'm confused. So, the welfare people drive Cadillacs and the elites use public transportation? What are the people who ride in limos, helicopters, Lear jets and tour buses called?

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Good solid citizens

bikerlaureate January 18, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Real Americans.

deanbooth January 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Republicans

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Assholes?

not that Dewey January 19, 2012 at 7:49 am

Sir.

EatsBabyDingos January 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I cry for all the impoverished homeowners of McLean. They is poor. They groundskeepers be poor. They butler be poor. They eats like a stoned newt and goes from McLean to McFat. I seen it. I seen it with my eyes! I was a chubby lady hidin' in the bushes!

mavenmaven January 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Do you know who else didn't like the people circumstances forced on to trains?

Generation[redacted] January 18, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Everyone who writes letters to the editor about California's (never gonna happen) high speed rail.

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Hercule Piorot?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Mussolini?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Donald Trump?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Casey Jones?

pdiddycornchips January 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Real Americans don't live in fancy high rise apartments, they live in fancy K Street Townhouses.

elviouslyqueer January 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Hmmm. You know who else was jealous because those people were living in deee-luxe apartments in the sky?

Generation[redacted] January 18, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Morlocks?

mayor_quimby January 18, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Meathead's father in law?

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Mitt Fucking Romney? Cause somewhere, somehow, one of them has more money than Willard.

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm

That was awesome! What diabolical, incredibly stoned genius put that together?

flamingpdog January 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I know the answer, but I'll leave this one to MittBot.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Psst, most urban-living elites don't live in high-rise apartments; those are called condos, and they actually do own them.

Generation[redacted] January 18, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Wha–? How can you own a home without land? That be black magick!

Negropolis January 19, 2012 at 2:03 am

I think you mean blah magic.

spends2much January 18, 2012 at 1:41 pm

The Michelin Man's Evil Twin doesn't even know what he's advocating anymore. If you would possibly vote Democratic, he is against EVERYTHING you do- eat peanut butter sandwiches, ride the subway, walk your dog, live in an apartment- if you do these things, and you are a liberal, , then these things are wrong and bad.
And this is the Deep Thinking Candidate.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Yeah, and people wonder why I chuckle every time they tell me that he's going to own Obama's ass in a debate.

flamingpdog January 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

"… having worked as a “historian” for Freddie Mac after leaving Congress …"

HA HA, even the Wall Street Journal laughs at your puztiness, Newtie.

Sparky Mc███ January 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Apparently, Gingrich has never seen the enormous "Park and Ride" lots at the DC Metro stations. But then again, WMATA doesn't pay him $50,000 an hour for "history lessons"

Troglodeity January 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

For once I find myself agreeing with Pastor James Dobson. That hypocritical bastard Newt and his longtime whore wife Callista should never live in the White House.

proudgrampa January 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

How much did he make on that speech? If he got $60,000, then it's business as usual for him…

He is such a putz.

Guppy January 18, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Isn't it faster and easier to just say "New York Jews?"

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Wait, what?
I thought the *Jews* were controlling the media and the *n*ggers* rented instead of owning because they don't understand the values of hard work and thrift??
Jeez, I miss one day around here and I'm out of the loop.

Guppy January 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Remember, to the SC GOP mindset, the Jews and Spades are in it together against the White Race.

widestanceshakedown January 18, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I'm worried he's gonna out of stereotypes to fling stupidly about before he melts down in a screaming hissy fit on national TV (and profoundly and fundamentally dies in a radical transformation to cadaver on camera).

He proves once again just how 'inside the beltway' he is by speaking in nothing more than culture war cliches.

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Mmmm, so Newter thinks I must dig up my dead padre and flog him 'cause he owned a house in Scarsdale and rode the subway to work in da City? I'm getting so confused, getting too olde.

OneYieldRegular January 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Raze the cities! Ex-urbs for all!

?

pdiddycornchips January 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

When at last the revolution comes to pass, the crowd that will gather to watch this mans public execution will be bigger than all the superbowls combined.

Beowoof January 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

He wants everyone in a house made with Chinese dry wall and driving a Hyundai. What a great American he is.

Selfish_T January 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

You know what we should be building instead of more clapboard exurban McMansions? Subways.

Also, you actually are allowed to buy and own homes in many "high-rise buildings".

Sparky Mc███ January 18, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Oddly, the price to buy a home in a "high-rise building" is way higher if it's in walking distance from the subway.

Oh, by the way, Newt's house in McLean, VA is less than a mile from the "Tyson's East" station on the new Silver Line (scheduled to open next year).

Chichikovovich January 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

good solid citizens

As opposed to evil, jiggly citizens like Newt.

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Newt: the Jello candidate.

Poindexter718 January 18, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Riding the 5/6 at 6 o'clock–or any train with a tubercular or incontinent homeless guy–feels especially elite.

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Is it true that penis size is inversely proportional to the size of your Tiffany credit limit?

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm

The evidence does point to that.

Urban_Achiever January 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Does he mean that all the kids doing janitorial work at schools should run out and buy a home?

comrad_darkness January 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I guess the last decade of credit-excess-driven housing greed by those millions of "good solid citizens" happened to recently for our elderly historian here.

In other news, Newt continues to be an out of touch douche.

CommieLibunatic January 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Right, because when I think "elitist," I think of braving the bus with lunatics who have angry discussions with Satan across the aisle on the way to work, and hobos babbling about how to get rich on the way home.

ph7 January 18, 2012 at 2:01 pm

to buy a home, to have their own property, to have a sense of belonging is one of the greatest achievements of their life

Yes, that wonderful sense of belonging to the millions of underwater victims of the great pyramid scheme of the 00's.

Jerri January 18, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Oh if only I could live in the isolated exurban drywall drab-o-sphere, where I could drive 100 miles to and from work, and do my shopping for cakes we like, cedar cheese and orange camo undies at the Wal-Mart where I can stand in line with my neighbors and have monosyllabic conversations about last night's episode of Dancing with the Stars.

That'll always be the dream, Newt. Instead I will continue to suffer in the city, lamenting it all as I sit on the bus for 15 minutes commuting home to my 100 year old, solidly built apartment, where I will stare out the stained glass windows deciding whether we should walk to the delicious Vietnamese place for dinner, or check out that new American slow food place a few blocks away before walking to the local movie house or maybe taking a walk through the park instead, if it's nice out.

Alas, I can only wish to one day be a Real American from my urban home/dream jail.

fuflans January 18, 2012 at 5:50 pm

where are you? i ask b/c i too can take a bus or train to my 104 year old house with stained glass windows and vietnamese delivery.

Jerri January 18, 2012 at 8:36 pm

That would be the highly elitist town known as Milwaukee.

HarryButtle January 18, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Fuck you, you big fat fucking fuck! Lotsa renters WERE homeowners until your buddies fucked over the entire economy, and lots of them would STILL BE homeowners if not for the likes of you! Somebody needs to throttle Newt until his fucking eyes pop out.

DaRooster January 18, 2012 at 2:03 pm

There are the feeling of 5 or 6 80s songs in that quote…
Little Pink Houses, Riding On The Metro, etc…
I am so into Newt.

Chichikovovich January 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I just can't keep up anymore. I thought the latest wingnut gospel on the topic said that the entire Bush economic collapse was Barney Frank's fault, because he single-handedly forced the government to force the banks – who were trying their hardest to be responsible businesspeople – to give loans to shiftless, poor, [additional tacit adjective here], people.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 18, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Ah, the slightly more intelligent wingnut (I know, I know, it's like comparing slime mold with plankton) manages to blame Clinton because he made it harder for banks to refuse mortgages to the blahs simply for being blah.

Selfish_T January 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm

He's right about transit users often not understanding what it's like to "buy a home, or have their own property", because American transit riders are, according to facts, generally pretty poor. But European cities and New York have functional transit systems, so, whatever, elitist.

owhatever January 18, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I am certain that no one at Fox Noise in New York City takes the subway to work. Only those at the New York Times. Not at the Post, nor anyone at the Wall Street Journal. I'm having a hard time understanding what the hell the Newt is railing about, except it is Romney and Obama's fault.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

"I'm having a hard time understanding what the hell the Newt is railing about"

Shorter: Blah.

LiveToServeYa January 18, 2012 at 2:10 pm

These are all code words for 'urban', anyway.

Naked_Bunny January 18, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Now let's see Newt make the same speech in front of a house with all its paint peeled off and four foot tall weeds half covering the auto parts scattered around the lawn.

smitallica January 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Yes, that's all you'll find on the nation's subways. Nothing but employees of newspapers.

What a dick.

gurukalehuru January 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm

The only reason anybody rides the subway is because they can't afford a limousine.

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 5:50 pm

There are people that can't afford limousines? Here? in America?

mayor_quimby January 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Mike Bloomberg is gonna kneecap Newt next time he comes to NYC

real_dc_native January 18, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Here I thought my kids were renting apartments and taking the subway because their shitty jobs didn't pay enough for them to buy cars or houses. Now I find out I've raised a couple of f..king elites? Where did I go wrong?

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Obviously you didn't make them go out and get a job when they were 8 years old. Now, they have no concept of work.

Mojopo January 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Personally, I love the caviar service we have on the Green Line in Chicago. Between Ridgeland and Austin.

blowharder January 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm

For the record, I consider Wonkette to be a *very* fancy newspaper.

Fukui_sanYesOta January 18, 2012 at 10:01 pm

It's as if the Economist had a bastard child with its mistress, Vanity Fair.

mayor_quimby January 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Well you didn't serve in the great Bug Wars, did you? And which side ?

Eve8Apples January 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Newt always travels by sedan chair. A team of man servants carries him around like an ancient Egyptian princess while other man servants fan him and stuff grapes in his pie hole.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Those sequined pasties over his moobs *are* a bit much, though.

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Eeeeeeewwwwwww.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I just had a flashback to Dom Deluise in The History Of The World Part I. LOL!

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Dom was svelte by comparison.

ttommyunger January 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I will be so glad when his campaign finally augers into the ground and I won't have to hear about this bloated, puffy pantload again until that wonderful day when he gets his well-deserved Coronary Thrombosis and starts his long overdue dirt nap.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Yeah, but then we'll have to put up with three days of hearing how he was a Great American Patriot and Defender of Freedom.
Fuck him.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

“fancy newspapers in the middle of town.”

Yeah, gosh darn those uppity city slickers who have ever read anything other than the bible, because ignorant hicks with no alternatives are our only hope of ever getting any votes.

Eve8Apples January 18, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"for most Americans the ability to buy a home, to have their own property, to have a sense of belonging is one of the greatest achievements of their life, and it makes them feel like they are good solid citizens."

Tell that to the banker when the banker sues to foreclose on the home loan you should have never received. The banker will tell you to wipe your ass on your American Dream and move your crap into an apartment. While you are at it, the banker will tell you to sell your car to pay off your loan because Mr. Good Solid Citizen can always take the Metro.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm

J.D. Byrider in this part of the world advertises that they will sell you a car regardless of your credit as long as you have a job. In fact, they will do your taxes for you and apply your tax refund to the purchase price of the vehicle.
What they don't tell you is, if you are late on one payment, they remote prevent your car from starting until you pay your payment or they repo the car.

Generation[redacted] January 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

How do I tell a fancy newspaper from the regular kind? Are the comic strips in color?

finallyhappy January 18, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I think the Financial Times is fancy -it is all in color. And why is it orange? Is it the same reason John Boner is orange?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 3:11 pm

"good solid citizens"

To borrow from George Carlin: What the fuck is this, 1850?

Can we please, please, finally and at long last, get rid of the myth that Real Americans [tm] are rural white Christians? I just looked it up, and less than 17% of Americans live in rural areas, and less than 2% (or less than 1%, depending on the source) are farmers for a living. If Newt, or any of these other fartbags had a less than 17% approval rating, or less than 17% of their current wealth, they'd have to shut the hell up and go work for a living.

CivicHoliday January 18, 2012 at 3:16 pm

NY is only revered by republicans when brown people fly planes into it.

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Yup.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm

How about if you're a kid riding the subway to your unpaid janitorial job instead of going to grade school? Is that still OK, or is it eleeeeetist?

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Depends, are you a blah?

pdiddycornchips January 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Newt is a symptom of a much larger problem. There's a growing sense not just here but around the world that we are in desperate need of better, smarter, less douchey elites. All men are fallible and but think back, where is our Churchill/Kennedy/Eisenhower/FDR?
In the past, men were able to work together and resolve differences. Now? Can you imagine anything remotely responsible coming out the likes of Harry Reid, John Boehner, Paul Ryan and Hopey? These are not men, they are empty suits. Suits filled with the needs and wants of their corporate masters. These men cannot think or act independent of their corporate overlords' interests. We have to make a change. The entire system should be burnt to the ground. These men and women we allow to rule us are just not up to the challenge.

BlueStateLibel January 18, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I always have to laugh when turnips like this try to imagine New York City. Yes, everyone riding them subways is a snobby elitist, making six figures, and eating arugala for lunch, LOL.

DahBoner January 18, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Since when can journalists afford to live in high-rises?

Unless you mean public housing…

not that Dewey January 19, 2012 at 7:51 am

Journalists can't, but Matt Lauer, Wolf Blitzer, Sean Hannity on the other hand…

DahBoner January 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Real Americans only live in single story Frank Lloyd Wright Prairie homes…

fuflans January 18, 2012 at 5:55 pm

how are drunk people supposed to get around? hmmmmmm? explain THAT newt?

WootInTarnation January 18, 2012 at 7:16 pm

It's not that your status as a citizen is under debate. It's just your, well, you know, um… consistency. If you know what I mean. No offense, pard.

Schmegeg January 18, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Newt, the fancy hirise went condo twenty years ago. And Newspapers? That PhD must be from some maiorder outfit.

Enjoy your ex-wife's interview tomorrow night, you tool.

Warpde January 19, 2012 at 12:04 am

14 minute video? Really? Of Puff'n Stuff jabbering away.
Think I'll stick to the 10 second snippets.
Less chance of losing a good meal or all the drinks I've had today.

Negropolis January 19, 2012 at 1:33 am

Dirty, dirty whore.

Yeah, fuck those people that use land and infrastructure more efficiently than their rural and exurban brethren. Fuck 'em, bunch of elitist hippy bastard-bums. Get a hair cut! Get a jerb!

chicken_thief January 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm

No wonder the Grifter Queen has a wide on for him.

not that Dewey January 19, 2012 at 7:34 am

To keep us out, right?

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