Prattler extraordinaire Sarah Palin came the closest yet to endorsing someone as the Republican nominee when she told Fox News's Sean Hannity on Tuesday that she'd vote for Newt Gingrich in the South Carolina primary. But you see, this is not an endorsement at all, so for confused Republicans still planning on voting Republican this year, we still haven't found your svengali. Palin said that if she were a voting South Carolinian, she'd choose Newt because basically it would prevent us all from having to enter our probably only months-long arranged marriage with Mitt Romney sooner than is desired (which is NEVARRRR, but the summer would be our second choice after that).
Hannity showed some clips of the roaring patriotism/intoxication of the audience at Monday's debate, to which Palin responded that all the candidates looked great that night, adding:
All of 'em seem to be loaded for bear...or moose...or whatever.
Palin then applauded Perry and Santorum, completely ignored Romney, then threw her support around Gingrich, saying he "won" the debate, "if you will." When pressed by Hannity on whom she'd endorse-or-close-enough, Palin responded:
If I were a South Carolinian...I wanna see this thing continue, because iron sharpens iron, steel sharpens steel. These guys are getting better in their debates, they're getting more concise, they're getting more grounded, in what their beliefs are and articulating what their ideas are...in order to keep this thing going, I'd vote for Newt...We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree he should have been so that we know -- knew what his associations and his pals represented and what went into his thinking, the shaping of who our president today is.
Kay. Well, Todd Palin already officially endorsed Gingrich, and it's not a total surprise that Mrs. Palin, lover of spotlights, would choose Gingrich, adulterer of spotlights. But the assumption with the above is also that Palin is afraid that Romney is -- HOW DARE SHE -- not what he says he is. That she just wants us all to be prepared for and certain of what some weird portion of this country has somehow already decided to lift up into the sky as their chosen lion king. That we don't know enough about Romney's "associations and his pals" (easy, he doesn't have any) and what goes "into his thinking" (a series of 0s and 1s) and what is "shaping" him (each pair of Romney-voting hands, joining together in one abominable sculpture project).
As for Newt, he's all for it, obviously. The Fox News clip is now on his website, and he tweetedhis thanks as well, also including the video in THAT, in case you had any doubts. [Wall Street Journal]
Absolutely. Paparazzi will earn their place in our economy, and I will subscribe to celebrity magazines if they provide good shots of cellulite, bingo wings, grey roots, jowls, and skin-crocodiling on Sarah.
(Funny. Being petty, catty and superficial didn't feel all that bad just now.)
You know who <i>else</i> is loaded for whatever?