ARMS OUTSTRETCHED  11:30 am January 18, 2012

Sarah Palin Would Vote for Gingrich … In South Carolina

by Liz Colville

whoever gets me the most tv appearances for president

Prattler extraordinaire Sarah Palin came the closest yet to endorsing someone as the Republican nominee when she told Fox News’s Sean Hannity on Tuesday that she’d vote for Newt Gingrich in the South Carolina primary. But you see, this is not an endorsement at all, so for confused Republicans still planning on voting Republican this year, we still haven’t found your svengali. Palin said that if she were a voting South Carolinian, she’d choose Newt because basically it would prevent us all from having to enter our probably only months-long arranged marriage with Mitt Romney sooner than is desired (which is NEVARRRR, but the summer would be our second choice after that).

Hannity showed some clips of the roaring patriotism/intoxication of the audience at Monday’s debate, to which Palin responded that all the candidates looked great that night, adding:

All of ‘em seem to be loaded for bear…or moose…or whatever.

Palin then applauded Perry and Santorum, completely ignored Romney, then threw her support around Gingrich, saying he “won” the debate, “if you will.” When pressed by Hannity on whom she’d endorse-or-close-enough, Palin responded:

If I were a South Carolinian…I wanna see this thing continue, because iron sharpens iron, steel sharpens steel. These guys are getting better in their debates, they’re getting more concise, they’re getting more grounded, in what their beliefs are and articulating what their ideas are…in order to keep this thing going, I’d vote for Newt…We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree he should have been so that we know — knew what his associations and his pals represented and what went into his thinking, the shaping of who our president today is.

Kay. Well, Todd Palin already officially endorsed Gingrich, and it’s not a total surprise that Mrs. Palin, lover of spotlights, would choose Gingrich, adulterer of spotlights. But the assumption with the above is also that Palin is afraid that Romney is — HOW DARE SHE — not what he says he is. That she just wants us all to be prepared for and certain of what some weird portion of this country has somehow already decided to lift up into the sky as their chosen lion king. That we don’t know enough about Romney’s “associations and his pals” (easy, he doesn’t have any) and what goes “into his thinking” (a series of 0s and 1s) and what is “shaping” him (each pair of Romney-voting hands, joining together in one abominable sculpture project).

As for Newt, he’s all for it, obviously. The Fox News clip is now on his website, and he tweeted his thanks as well, also including the video in THAT, in case you had any doubts. [Wall Street Journal]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 209 comments }

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 11:31 am

Can Palin even find SC on a map?

TanzbodenKoenig January 18, 2012 at 11:34 am

Hell, she can see it from her porch

Terry January 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm

If someone in that state writes her a check, she could.

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

such as?

Negligently_Joe January 18, 2012 at 12:09 pm

No, because like many US Americans, Palin does not have a map.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 12:25 pm

It's right between the "A"s in "Alasca"

Biff January 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Trick question!
SC the country, or SC the continent?

insidebeltway January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

She can't figure out why there are two Carolinas.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

And for that matter, what happened to East Virginia?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I don't know, but I'll bet she could represent it in a beauty pageant.

Warpde January 19, 2012 at 12:08 am

Sarah Palin…."Whats a map?"

Beetagger January 18, 2012 at 11:32 am

Cock sharpens cock, twat sharpens twat.

slowhansolo January 18, 2012 at 11:37 am

I mean, really. Iron sharpens iron? Steel sharpens steel? Metaphors are supposed to mean something?

edgydrifter January 18, 2012 at 11:46 am

I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about sharpening a blade. Steel blunts steel, no matter what it says in Proverbs.

slowhansolo January 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

Clearly NOT a fellow blade enthusiast…

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Where do rock and paper fit into that?

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I wonder if she even knows what a whetstone is.

Barb January 18, 2012 at 11:43 am

Twits sharpen their Twitters.

OkieDokieDog January 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

Sarah is as sharp as a melted crayon.

nonbeliever7 January 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Literally!

nounverb911 January 18, 2012 at 11:32 am

How much is Gingrinch paying her for her endorsement?

Slim_Pickins January 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

A bauble from Tiffany's, perhaps?

LabRodent January 18, 2012 at 11:49 am

Gingrinch tends to pay all his bimbos with diamonds.

Terry January 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I guess that's better than giving them home appliances.

Dashboard_Jesus January 19, 2012 at 3:37 am

WHORE DIAMOND LIBEL!1!1!

Serolf_Divad January 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I want to know how much Obama is paying Palin to endorse Gingrich… or any one of his opponents for that matter?

insidebeltway January 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

A Cabinet seat. Dept of Energy.

Loaded_Pants January 18, 2012 at 4:35 pm

A year's supply of Slim Jims & a membership to Sam's Club.

Barb January 18, 2012 at 11:32 am

The higher the Bump-it, the nearer to God she is.

freakishlywrong January 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

Bitch needs a new one. She's slipping back in to peak "attractive..for Alaska".

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

And then, can we stuff the old one in her mouth so she'll STFU?

Rosie_Scenario January 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

I used to think the word was "Bum-pit" and actually that fits better.

Terry January 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm

The years are NOT being kind to her.

Fare la Volpe January 18, 2012 at 12:05 pm

The gracious age like fine wine. The nasty age like milk.

Not_So_Much January 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Based on the mouth farts that fall out of her cake-hole, I just assumed that was undiagnosed Hydroencephalitis.

neiltheblaze January 18, 2012 at 11:33 am

Aw! Isn't that cute? She chose Todd's candidate!

TanzbodenKoenig January 18, 2012 at 11:35 am

Grifters of a feather con together!

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 11:35 am

"We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree he should have been"

Uh, no, the mistake that made by the Republican Party four years ago was having a VP candidate that was not vetted to the degree she should have been, dooming their ticked.

paris biltong January 18, 2012 at 11:42 am

"…dooming their ticked off presidential candidate" is probably what you meant.

I can't help thinking that Palin never used the verb "to vet" before 2008 and probably though it was a Jewish term to describe what kids do to their bed.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 11:49 am

Gah, should have proofread before hitting submit there. Damned typos that are still words!

Crank_Tango January 18, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Typos are people, my fiend.

An_Outhouse January 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I thought 'to vet' was where you take your dog.

Rosie_Scenario January 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

And I'm still "ticked." Thank you, John McCain.

ttommyunger January 18, 2012 at 11:58 am

My guess: she has no fucking ideal what "vetted" means; seriously.

Fare la Volpe January 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Why would she? Not like she has any experience with it.

ttommyunger January 19, 2012 at 9:29 pm

No shit!

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Maybe she thinks "vetted" means "molested by a middle-age-crisis guy in a fiberglass 2-seat sports car built by Chevy with a bunch of Boone's Farm and blow."

Chichikovovich January 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm

And you don't want to know what "Mustanged" means in Wasilla.

YasserArraFeck January 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

So, Snowbillie's courtship consisted of a good "snow-machinin'" by Toad.

Biff January 18, 2012 at 1:13 pm

And Baldar knows from 'Vettes, I hear!

Crank_Tango January 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm

To a girl Palin, it means getting banged by a gang of vets. Animal doctors or former soldiers, no matter.

Support are troopz!

ttommyunger January 19, 2012 at 9:33 pm

“Girl” Palin? As opposed to worn-out piece of ass, quitting and failed politician Palin?

Buckminster January 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Sarah, honey, it doesn't mean dropped off to get the testicles off. Sorry. Now, please go home.

fuflans January 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

yet another example of republican opposite world. yesterday (?) i heard somebody somewhere on public radio (thomas frank?) talk about how successful this strategy has been – and how diabolical.

now, in sp's case, i doubt it is 'strategy'. more like 'talking point written on hand'.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I assume this was what passes for subtle in what passes for $arah's mind, and she was referring to Obama; but the unintentional irony is that everyone who hears it will immediately know it refers to her.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Fours years later and Bible Spice still can't seem to grasp the idea that America didn't love her and old Whatshisname enough to elect them to lead this country out of economic disaster.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 18, 2012 at 11:35 am

All of ‘em seem to be loaded for bear…or moose…or whatever.

All of 'em seem to be loaded with bullshit.

Shortered for great accuracy.
~

Biel_ze_Bubba January 18, 2012 at 11:51 am

"All of 'em seem to be loaded."

Better?

elviouslyqueer January 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

Oh shut up, you irrelevant hag.

slowhansolo January 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

This is good news for Barack Obama.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 11:37 am

Is it just me, or does anyone else find this post extremely difficult to mastaurbate to? Wonkette overlords, please help us, post some pron, that we might fap away this nightmare despite the internet shutdown.

starfanglednut January 18, 2012 at 11:43 am

they're not shutting down porn for a day, are they? cuz I don't know what I'd do.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 11:59 am

You can always try using your imagination; that sometimes works for me.

Terry January 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

You could also try going out and meeting an actual person, and not the kind you roll up next to on the street and offer money.

Biff January 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Sure–tie my hands…

nonbeliever7 January 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Just buy one item from Victoria's Secret and you'll get free US Mail approved pron forever. But, of course, you have to fight your teenage son for it.

Blueb4sunrise January 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

In an emergency, try GAWKER
http://gawker.com/5876950/did-this-person-make-a-

prommie January 18, 2012 at 11:54 am

Used to be, you'd see more than a few Wonketters over at Fleshbot. I miss those days, good times.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

While a Michelle Trachtenberg softcore porn would be nice, it would make watching those late Buffy seasons where she was just a kid even more uncomfortable. Oh and that emailer really seems like a creepy stalker.

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

Just do a load of laundry, that always helps me.

Fare la Volpe January 18, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I think "doing loads" is his problem here.

Chet Kincaid January 18, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I thought about asking if you were into "Strapping, Newly-Rich NBA Star Seeks Financial Advice In Sultry Accountant's Private Office", but my heart belongs to Limeylizzie.

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 12:28 pm

It's okay, all of our hearts belong to LL

prommie January 18, 2012 at 12:07 pm

"We want dirty laundry." Now, finally, I know what Henley meant. Still hate the pretentious douche.

Biff January 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Appropriately enough, Dirty Laundry is the name of Heidi Fleiss' laundromat. Not kidding.

WhatTheHeck January 18, 2012 at 11:37 am

She’s like a hooker trolling for a “John’ to sink her grappling hooks into hoping to hitch a ride to the White House.

Barb January 18, 2012 at 11:37 am

Palin recently tweeted:

What's radical & intolerant about Santorum/Romney/Gingrich et al's position on the definition of marriage? It's the same position as Obama's
—————————–
I responded, "Unlike you Palin gals who just show a man a positive result on a pee stick and consider that the definition of marriage"
She has yet to respond, lol.

ThundercatHo January 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Barb, you are the best. Whatever you use that sharpens wit, please share it with the rest of us.

Barb January 18, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Thanks! you are very kind.

Biff January 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Barb sharpens Barb, obvs

jus_wonderin January 18, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Awesome!!

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

"Palin gals who just show a man a positive result on a pee stick and consider that the definition of marriage"

Apparently, it's also their definition of "abstinence".

Blueb4sunrise January 18, 2012 at 11:38 am

Sounds like voter fraud to me.

yrbmegr January 18, 2012 at 11:59 am

Nah. She's just going to pay O'Keefe to vote for Gingrich for her…and Todd…and her 50,000 children.

Gratuitous World January 18, 2012 at 11:38 am

"We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree he should have been"

I believe she lifted this quote from Chapter 12 in McCain's upcoming autobiography , titled, "Picking a VP – I'm a Fucking Idiot."

Crank_Tango January 18, 2012 at 12:19 pm

And it's like when Tobias Funke switched all the pronouns in his book to masculine ones.

Spurning Beer January 18, 2012 at 11:38 am

You know who else is loaded for whatever?

Barb January 18, 2012 at 11:41 am

Iran?

DaRooster January 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

Me… after 5?

Fare la Volpe January 18, 2012 at 11:55 am

Bristol?

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

John Boehner?

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Duke Nukem?

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss in "The Matrix"?

Chillwillard January 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Ron Jeremy?

elviouslyqueer January 18, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Levi? Wait, no. Levi's Johnson?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Charlie Sheen?

edgydrifter January 18, 2012 at 11:38 am

Why not just buy a house in SC for Piper or Trog and let them cast the ballot for you, Snovira?

Goonemeritus January 18, 2012 at 11:41 am

Sluts are people too my friend.

Biff January 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Thankfully!

Negligently_Joe January 18, 2012 at 11:41 am

We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree he should have been

"…but enough about how I single-handedly destroyed what little chance McCain had of winning that election" Palin continued.

Terry January 18, 2012 at 12:05 pm

"…but did upgrade my wardrobe in the process"

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 11:41 am

"I wanna see this thing continue, because iron sharpens iron, steel sharpens steel."

And paper covers rock, rock breaks scissors, and scissors cut paper. What to do, what to do???

Terry January 18, 2012 at 12:09 pm

The cow is misquoting Proverb 27:17 there.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Chet Kincaid January 18, 2012 at 12:27 pm

The Bumpit Strumpet lives by Proverbs 26:11: "As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly."

not that Dewey January 18, 2012 at 11:43 am

Newt Gingrich is concise? hahahahahahahaha

Spurning Beer January 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

Clearly. Sarah knows from concise, NTD.

MinAgain January 18, 2012 at 11:44 am

Palin's like a friggin' case of herpes. She just will not go away.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Tapers off after a few years. Her progress is actually typical, as time passes, her outbreaks will become rarer and less severe.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Roger Ailes is just trying to get his money's worth out of her, before he drops her back off at her street corner.

paris biltong January 18, 2012 at 11:44 am

All of them were loaded, Katie.

Joshua Norton January 18, 2012 at 11:47 am

These guys are getting better in their debates,

After, what? 675 consecutive debates? Talk about damning with faint praise. About as good as "almost" hitting the toilet.

The only way the debates are going to get better is if they start using live ammo.

yrbmegr January 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I'd pay to see that debate.

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

Wait! She wants "this thing" to continue, yet she's already saying she would vote for Gingrich. Doesn't that imply that she's made her choice and so should America? Or maybe I'm just throwing a logic blanket on her otherwise stellar bullshit bonfire.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Palin knows nothing of this logic of which you speak.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Your happy time joy cycle on the washing machine must have you addled. She was oh so carefully having her cake and eating it, too. She never said she wanted Gingrich to be the nominee, she just said she wanted to see the primary continue to be a contest, and would therefore vote for Gingrich presumably just to sharpen up Romney. Sneaky cunt, is what she is.

Allmighty_Manos January 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

"Palin responded that all the candidates looked great that night, adding: All of ‘em seem to be loaded for bear…or moose…or whatever."

That's what they're calling them now?

spends2much January 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

Anybody else think that watching the Tundra Grifter hit her 50s and beyond is going to be worth having to listen to her screech occasionally? I think she is going to stick with the brown hair, bumpits, and drag-queen-quantities of makeup until she's even more senile, and it's going to be quite hilarious.
Add some more cheek contour, honey!

Spurning Beer January 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Absolutely. Paparazzi will earn their place in our economy, and I will subscribe to celebrity magazines if they provide good shots of cellulite, bingo wings, grey roots, jowls, and skin-crocodiling on Sarah.

(Funny. Being petty, catty and superficial didn't feel all that bad just now.)

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

"bingo wings"

I was picturing the white streaks that Paulie Walnuts has, then I realized that you were referring to "Hadassah arms".

Mumblety██ January 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

I don't get the Newt endorsement. Seems like she'd be more aligned with Santorum, who's also pro-populate-for-whitey, approx. same # of kids in the brood, ready to frack the earth for all its worth in fossil fuels, and maintaining a relatively fit & trim physique, letting all that lard-spume-for-thought go to their brain rather than the belly.

UnholyMoses January 18, 2012 at 11:51 am

"… they’re getting more grounded, in what their beliefs are and articulating what their ideas are … "

Beliefs: Gays are evil and destroying our nation, corporations can do whatever the fuck they want, and black kids should be cleaning toilets and picking our food.

Ideas: Cut taxes on rich folks, prevent anyone but the rich from affording health care, and make the poor even poorer.

There — I was even more concise in articulating the GOP's beliefs and ideas.

I can haz endorsement now?

ThundercatHo January 18, 2012 at 12:14 pm

You forgot the whole "war on everyone brown, preferably with oil" thing.

OkieDokieDog January 18, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Noes U can haz no endorsement. U haz no Superpac monies 2 play teh game.

DaRooster January 18, 2012 at 11:52 am

"…Palin is afraid that Romney is — HOW DARE SHE — not what he says he is."

Don't worry, that'll change…

thefrontpage January 18, 2012 at 11:52 am

Speaking of Palin, for those of you going to the CPAC Horrorfest at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel in D.C. in February, this interesting item appears on the Official CPAC Convention Schedule:

Saturday night, 11:50 p.m.: Naked Party, Palin Suite: Join the voluptuous and gorgeous sexy politico babe Sarah "Hot Stuff" Palin as she hosts a Naked Party in her expansive 13th-floor suite, known coyly as "The 'Hospitality' Sweet Suite!" There is no cost, there will be a free open cash bar, free appetizers, and the only requirement for entry is that you have to strip off all of your clothes and attend naked. Also appearing: Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Christy O'Donnell, Michelle Bachmann.

Fare la Volpe January 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

Fuck. My penis just retreated into my body.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Ew; talk about boner-killing (aside from Malkin, and maybe O'Donnell).

Fare la Volpe January 18, 2012 at 12:00 pm

You like your women with more bush in their cush, eh?

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm

True that part is a turn-off.

Chillwillard January 18, 2012 at 12:39 pm

More cushin' for the pushin'!

yrbmegr January 18, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Free entertainment? Or is that cash, too?

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm

free open cash bar??

Does not compute.

elviouslyqueer January 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Eeesh. With that many vagina dentatas on full display, it'll be like watching a school of anorexic piranhas.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"you have to strip off all of your clothes and attend naked. Also appearing: Ann Coulter"

Duct tape doesn't count as clothes?

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Worst. Pron. Evar.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Why do I suspect that Chris Christie will be first in line?

Oh, right, "free appetizers".

Chillwillard January 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

All of ‘em seem to be loaded for bear…or moose…or whatever.

Or "All of 'em, Sean."

What a dumb cunt. Over 3 years since the Couric interview and she still can't answer a simple fucking question.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

She still thinks that people find that snowbilly talk, cute and folksy.

LabRodent January 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

Mitt Romney sends his thanks.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

And how the fuck exactly did we not "knew what his associations and his pals represented and what went into his thinking"? Remember all the nonsense during the election about Rev. White? Or how about Bill Ayers, just a guy Obama somewhat knew? Or Tony Rezko, just a monetary donator? The mainstream media went on and on about these fake controversies, trying to smear Obama with guilt by association. Fuck, there was more digging into his background than any other presidential candidate in history. How the fuck was he not vetted?

Fare la Volpe January 18, 2012 at 11:59 am

He won.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I think the bizarre claim that Obama wasn't vetted, along with the bullshit claims of voter fraud, go to the wingnuts' inability to accept that the majority of Americans actually are non-racist enough to vote for a black guy for President.

Crank_Tango January 18, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Because no one came out and used the N-word. There are probably dozens of blind voters that accidentally voted for him, not knowing the horrible truth.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:51 pm

"How the fuck was he not vetted?"

One simple word, the same simple word that explains everything they say about him, no matter how unsubstantiated or off-the-wall:

Blah.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm

America didn't realize he was black.

ElPinche January 18, 2012 at 11:56 am

If she is the maverick rogue moose-fucker she claims to be, she shoulda fake voted for Ron Paul or even Santorum. Newt is a giant slab of GOP establishment. I guess that whole tea party thang is so passé.

GOPCrusher January 18, 2012 at 2:08 pm

In fact, the Tea Baggers have been strangely quiet for a few months. Wonder what they are up to?

OneYieldRegular January 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

"— knew what his associations and his pals represented and what went into his thinking, the shaping of who our president today is."

Only someone who's so ignorant of American history that she thinks it's represented by Paul Revere wearing a tri-cornered hat, waving an American flag (with 50 stars) and riding around New Hampshire (or was it New Amsterdam?) yelling at people that the British were here to take away our 2nd Amendment rights could see "what went into his thinking, the shaping of who our president today is" [sic] as some sort of mystery.

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 8:10 pm

The cunt.

MosesInvests January 19, 2012 at 1:09 am

Dozy cunt.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm

This is some grade B performance art, even by Roger Ailes standards. Not content with having his payrolled minions put Mitt down and try to inoculate Fox from his failure to win the White House this fall, he sends Palin out to hammer the message home with a sledge.

El ████ January 18, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I've noticed that Grifter looking harsh lately. When Greta Van Susteren or Brian Kilmeade starts looking better than Palin, Ailes is going to pull the trap door on her.

MissTaken January 18, 2012 at 12:02 pm

"All of ‘em seem to be loaded for bear…or moose…or whatever."

How exactly does one become 'loaded for bear'? I'm envisioning a day of full front to back waxing and anal bleaching but I could be wrong.

Barb January 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Oh no way would I go through all of that. It's enough for me to keep the front room "ready for company", if you know what I mean. Hey, we can't keep the Christmas lights up year 'round.

Chichikovovich January 18, 2012 at 12:09 pm

anal bleaching????
.
.
[quickly Googles] Huh. Câlisse. That's a real thing.
.
.
I guess I am as out of touch as my son says I am.

ttommyunger January 18, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Thanks for not including audio. l can still fap to her picture, imagining giving her a good hate-fucking; bending her over her dining room table, wiping my dick off on the drapes and breaking a lamp on the way out, but that voice….that voice…..instant soft-on.

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 8:09 pm

When you're finished she'll be endorsing Santorum- amiright?

ttommyunger January 19, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Leaking Santorum, fer sure.

prommie January 18, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Could someone introduce her to the active voice, please? Jesus, its exhausting wading through her sentences, trying to figure out who or what is the moving force, who is doing all this choosing and vetting, she so clings to the passive voice and the unspoken subject, like a fucking lying child. "What happened to the vase?" "It got broken." Mistakes were made. The dog was fucked. What was the mistake that was made here in Wasilla about the drug-taking thing is that coke was snorted over there on that barrel thing what with the snowmachine racing.

Chichikovovich January 18, 2012 at 12:05 pm

All of ‘em seem to be loaded for bear…or moose…or whatever.

Or small varmints, as it were.

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Like newts?

smokefilledroommate January 18, 2012 at 12:07 pm

iron sharpens iron and still sharpens still?

El Pi█che January 18, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Rock beats paper, paper beats rock..

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Takes a grifter to know a grifter? Do like your new glasses.

smokefillednewyear January 18, 2012 at 12:40 pm

██████!

Biff January 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Wait, what's the dildo?

Extempor████ January 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

That ████.

Chillwillard January 18, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Pedobear wept.

El Pi█che January 18, 2012 at 12:19 pm

She's more r████d than t██g.

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Sweet

Guppy January 18, 2012 at 12:10 pm

"iron sharpens iron, steel sharpens steel"

No, a goddamn rock sharpens steel. And all the GOP candidates are as dumb as one.

fuflans January 18, 2012 at 12:11 pm

if sarah palin looked like that back in 2007, bill kristol wouldn't have gotten off that cruise ship.

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 8:06 pm

anagram- bill krystol, kill bristol

Chillwillard January 18, 2012 at 12:11 pm

So Sarah, when's Willow due? And most importantly, is T███ the father?

insidebeltway January 18, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Rumor has it she's engaged. So I guess she's about 5 months along.

actor212 January 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm

T____ = Tebow?

Or T____ > Tebow?

Nostrildamus January 19, 2012 at 1:24 am

TN>=Tebow ∀ N

PsycWench January 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Sara doesn't know about Romney’s “associations and his pals”? Given her constant comments about Obama's "pal" Ayers, she doesn't really know what a pal is.

VinnyThePooh January 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Is Grifter Sarah plugging another bus tour?

proudgrampa January 18, 2012 at 12:18 pm

████ ████ ████!!!!!!!! ████ H ████,

weej_#blackout January 18, 2012 at 12:38 pm

PG, I too am an olde, could you sp██k a ██tt█ lo███r pl██s█?

DahBoner January 18, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Palin said if she was a voting South Carolianian..

If my aunt had a dick, she'd be my uncle..

ThundercatHo January 18, 2012 at 12:19 pm

She needs to go back to the flag themed bikini with assault rifle accessory cuz that "cougar on the prowl" look is so not working.

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I guess she should feel special insofar as she has her own "background shot" at Fox; seems most everyone else just has a cityscape placed behind them, but she gets the mountain/forest/lake scene. They should have some oil derricks, 4x4s with monster mudder tires and snow machines tearing up the scenery, and hunters armed with machine-guns slaughtering some wolves and mooses photoshopped in there too.

proudgrampa January 18, 2012 at 12:27 pm

I've always wondered: if the plural of "goose" is "geese," why isn't "moose" "meese?"

BaldarTFlagass January 18, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I almost put that, but then I remembered the Hanna-Barbera of my youth, Pixie and Dixie, and Mr. Jinks saying "I hates meeses to pieces." So, obviously, meese is the plural for mouse, not moose.

Chichikovovich January 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

It used to be. But after Reagan's buddy Ed Meese was finished his epic stint as Attorney General (agents told to let North have enough time to shred documents before removing him from his office, chartering a laughing-stock pornography report, saying "you can't be a suspect and be not guilty. That's contradictory.",….) the moose got together and asked that their name be changed.

DaRooster January 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I really hope that all of these hateful, vengeful screws move out of the country when Barry wins again.

SudsMcKenzie January 18, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Doesn't Bristol live under her moms AK "studio" now? Do you think she was conscious enough to hear her mom say "We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree he should have been"? possibly the most cogent yet idiotic thing SP has ever said.

__kth__ January 18, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I've made a lot of mistakes, but voting to put this dingbat one missed beat of John McCain's ticker away from the nuclear launch codes was not one of them.

BarackMyWorld January 18, 2012 at 12:26 pm

We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree he should have been…

Her lack of self-awareness is fucking staggering.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm

That, or her capacity for projection.

Redhead January 18, 2012 at 12:33 pm

We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a veep candidate that was not vetted to the degree she should have been so that we know — knew what her associations and her pals represented and what went into her thinking, the shaping of who our veep could have been but thankfully today is not.

Fixed.

Tommy1733 January 18, 2012 at 12:36 pm

John McCain – why oh why did you have to unleash this ignorant harpy upon us? Will we never be rid of her?

mrblifil January 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

'Smatter with her? All that luxurious time on her hands, she should be out there spending her time fucking young buck basketball players, end of story, full stop. By taking time out to talk to Hannity, she has jeopardized her chances of taking advantage of some really great opportunities, who are likely to go way higher in the draft than she can afford to pursue.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I understand Herman Cain has a lot of evenings free lately.

jus_wonderin January 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

If, if she were politically savvy by the most modest of measures, I would think the bitch wouldn't have brought up the vetted comment. I mean, really, she just keeps getting dimmer.

owhatever January 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Howdy interviews Doody and this is the result.

Tundra Grifter January 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

When InSannity conducts an infomercial with a fellow FOXPAC employee, would it be too much to ask the network to make that clear?

As for Duh Gov'Nuh voting in South Carolina, Ann Falter votes anywhere she wants. Why doesn't Lou Sarah?

Tundra Grifter January 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Over at Media Matters, the video clip of Duh Gov'Nuh has a crawl about the Italian ship captain quitting half way through the cruise.

Somebody at FOXPAC doesn't like Lou Sarah very much…

BZ1 January 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, of ye of little self-awareness, popping off on a candidate not being properly vetted in 2008…

mavenmaven January 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

"what his associations and his pals represented ":
She's still doing the Bill Ayres riff after so many years? Amazing.

Troglodeity January 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

"We know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree he should have been …"

Sarah Palin is the Empress of Unintended Irony.

tessiee January 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Translation:
PAY ATTENTION TO ME! PAY ATTENTION TO MEE!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME-ME-MEEE!!!

Barrelhse January 18, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Jesus Christ is she stupid. What a dismal bitch.

mermera January 18, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I know this may be inappropriate, but I like Sara Palin's ass, and her gorgeous lips and those massive just begging for squezzin breasts. Call me what you will, I have actually had original thoughts ( most in the quantum arena ), but I like her shape. She makes me feel alive. I could get over having a 45-70 on the headboard, just as long as I could bang her head on it too. I attended Baker High School in Columbus, Georgia. I am sure Newt sees the same grab points I do. Vette this Sara, I stole Mr. Strealdorfs paddle, and returned it to Oscar Boyle in his office in exchange for a reduced suspension. I do love her tits.

Nostrildamus January 19, 2012 at 1:25 am

Mitt, the road to Palin's endorsement runs right through her wallet.

Terry January 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Please avoid upfisting when you are offline. Miss Manners and the locals cops will both tell you the same thing.

SorosBot January 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

But what about if you're with someone who likes being upfisted?

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