News light reading Enjoy John McCain’s 2008 Treasury of Romney Opposition Research, Today! By Wonkette Jr. - January 17, 2012 - 11:34pm 68 SHARE Facebook Twitter Add to Flipboard Magazine. Oh look what Buzzfeed found, ha ha ha ha ha: McCain 2008 Oppo File GIVE US MONEY! - $5.00 Add to cart RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Genius Texas Hunters Shoot Each Other, Blame Invisible Mexicans, As One Does. Your Open Thread! Thanks, Liberals, For Being INSANE AND MEAN About Melania Doing The Lord’s Prayer Trump Shitcans Aides For Blasphemies Against The Dear Leader neiltheblaze Seems a lot more thorough than his dossier on the Tundra Twit. MittBorg Well, in his defence, Mitt's ass is way wrinklier, saggier, and pastier. I think. neiltheblaze You don't speak French do you. MittBorg No longer fluently, no. ETA: If you're trying to ask whether I know the difference between derriere and dossier, yes, I do. neiltheblaze No, no – I understood that. HistoriCat whether I know the difference between derriere and dossier, yes, I do I'll bet you do! MittBorg Who wants their furry belly rubbed? WHO? littlebigdaddy You misspelled twat. neiltheblaze DAMN! Got me. Dr_Zoidberg What, that stained napkin with crayon scribbles? iburl I think the two words he scrawled on it were "Mavricky" and "Doable?" jus_wonderin The flipside said "Damn, what a time to have an old, shrivelled up dick!!!!1!! MittBorg ZOMG Wonketz you are teh crewel! nounverb911 Looks like I have something to read tomorrow while Seattle gets blizzarded over. flamingpdog Will that be one inch or two inches of snow? nounverb911 One inch will shut the place down real good. Just type "Queen Anne Hill" into the youtube machine to see the demolition derby of stupidity. flamingpdog The youngest pdog works and lives in Redmond. I know the routine. MittBorg ZOMG, you have a whole TRIBE of pdogs! flamingpdog I wanted to have two pups and my ex wanted to have three pups, so we compromised and had three pups. MittBorg Ah, yeah, the one with the ladyparts usually wins these arguments, I'm afraid. Sounds like a cute tribe. And you even managed to get a member of MY tribe in there, yay. Lionel[redacted]Esq I'm hoping for two inches, which should shut down the entire Puget Sound region until March. ShaveTheWhales You're actually getting water? I'm in the mid-Cali foothills and we're dying. flamingpdog Until someone tells me there is some good pron in there, I'm not getting near that document. Chichikovovich Isn't schadenfreude the only thing that's as good as pørn besides pørn? BZ1 I think he meant prawn? nounverb911 Did Walnuts count all the flip-flops? Is the total more or less than Mitt's net worth? Edit: (Millions and millions of them, they start on page 168). ShaveTheWhales This is relevant to nothing, but I must mention that, "back in the day", there was a real thing called a J-K flipflop. Which is what I think many of Mittsie's are. SexySmurf This is bad news for Mitt Romney. PocketsTheClown Ugh, who got stuck with that research job. Butter curls are more interesting. Dr_Zoidberg Paula Deen?!! Data Exactly It's like Mitt Romney himself, only in text form. flamingpdog So, somebody hacked into Mitt's hard drive? smokefillednewyear You don't want to see Mitt's '110100000' face. MittBorg Kong Hee Fatt Choy! ETA: Your av disappeared, so I assumed you got your ang pao, lor. smokefillednewyear Nah, it'll probably be another week and a half before I get my "red envelope". ShaveTheWhales Wait, is there a Mitt Rmoney that's NOT in text form? Dr_Zoidberg Oh, I beg to differ. This text is at least interesting. I mean, you can print it off and make paper airplanes. BarackMyWorld Ooooo…. flamingpdog This should make your task of writing the conservative crazy sayings book a little easier. Just don't forget the foot(in-mouth)notes. littlebigdaddy I mean what is the point? The guy himself is a walking advertisement for why no one would ever want Mittens in a position of power. Unless you have a thing for archaic social structures, like 1950s era fraternities. HistoriCat Archaic social structures? Most Republican voters act like they want to install a king in this country. MissTaken Questionable Republican Credentials for $1000, Alex Lionel[redacted]Esq Clearly this is fake. If it were true opposition research on a Republican, there would be at least one section dedicated to homosexual affairs. littlebigdaddy It's there, but you have to pay extra. Guppy A 200 page tome on Mitt Romney sounds somehow Lovecraftian. Frisbeedawg "The Shadow Over Mittsmouth" ShaveTheWhales The Mundane of Madness. slowhansolo "The Dream Quest of the Unknown Financial Disclosure" flamingpdog Or Sleepinducian. Callyson Opposition researcher to Walnuts: "Here you go, sir." Walnuts: "tl; dr" ShaveTheWhales Walnuts: "tl; dr. Give me the one with the tits". flamingpdog Romney: “you don’t get a lot of honesty from politicians.” (Tape 75) – page 199 of the opposition reseach. paris biltong Page 199 (I skipped): "Romney says the Harlem Globetrotters have trouble making touchdowns." Good to know the candidates are being thoroughly vetted. His position on this issue obviously disqualifies him from elected office beyond dog catcher. chicken_thief I can just see Mittens, with his COPD herky-jerky talking style, defending that statement as "accurate" because, of course, since they don't play football *heh, heh* they *heh, heh* have trouble *heh, heh* scoring touchdowns *heh, heh, heh*. ///proudly smiles in admiration of his ability to get the whole paragraph out without fainting/// SudsMcKenzie OK, thats it, Shut IT Down!12 ttommyunger I already think Mitt is a dick, do I have to read this? Walnuts, too. CapeClod Short version: Romney panders to whoever he's talking to. Not exactly breaking news. Chichikovovich Sure. It was "found online". Just happened on it on after doing a Google search on "Romney sucks moose dick". You know how wacky that internet can be…. Methinks somebody, or bodies in the McCain campaign still hold a raging hate for Willard le Dauphin. Perhaps when McCain endorsed Obama it really wasn't a slip of the tongue. chicken_thief Wait. Didn't Walnuts recently endorse Willard? So who is this revelation supposed to embarrass – the Geezer or the Pauper?! BZ1 Isn't it rich? Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground, You in mid-air.. Where are the clowns? (with reservations on chewing up a Judy Collins song) Limeylizzie Best version ever of that song from A Little Night Music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04E8Y8nDfRQ MinAgain Well, isn't that ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… fuflans while it's true i miss wikipedia, i'm not sure this will suffice. Redhead Where's McCain's file on what McCain said yesterday so he can remember it today? (Obviously missing, as evidenced by his endorsement of Obama the other day…) DahBoner He SAID Give me the Grand Slam WITH a side stack… DahBoner On what page does it talk about Romney ironing his jeans??? Troglodeity I searched the document and it doesn't even mention Seamus the Tortured Dog. You'd think John McCain would have been especially sensitive to helpless creatures locked up in cages and mistreated. Major Fail. Tundra Grifter Somebody on the GNoPee side doesn't like Mittens very much. Too bad they didn't save this until after the nomination. Gov. Perry will ask for the question to be repeated before he blames the wrong people for releasing it. Duh Gov'Nuh will blame it on the Lamestream Media. Ole Newt will blame it on poor people who collect food stamps forced on them by Mr. Obama. If people just learned to get a job they wouldn't need to read this crap. Ricky Santorum will blame Dan Savage. Ron Paul will say the Federal government had no business inventing the Internets, so we shouldn't be reading it. And poor Mittens won't have a comment until he's had time to read it and remember all the stuff he used to believe in before he believed in something else. Unless enough people want him to believe what he used to believe, of course, in which case he'll happily go back to believing it. Previous articleSeveral Hundred Thousand Dollars ‘Not Very Much’ If You Ask Mitt RomneyNext articleHappy Anti-Censorship Day, Internet!