hate to jump on the bandwagon but ...

Happy Anti-Censorship Day, Internet!


Do you know what’s happening, all over the Internet? Sites such as this one, your Wonkette, are taking part in a massive protest action against the SOPA/Protect IP bills, one of which is probably going to become The Law unless a whole lot of us raise hell today. Click the blacked-out “STOP CENSORSHIP” link at the top of this page and you’ll be redirected to the Fight for the Future protest site. From there, you can very quickly and easily let Congress know how you feel about giving the government the power to shut down any website for no reason at all. Will political websites be targeted? Of course they will.

But Chris Dodd, that bloated white-haired crook who very quickly went from the Senate to a lucrative lobbying position protecting Hollywood, is very upset about blogs and websites taking part in today’s protest. Here’s what Dodd says:

It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services. It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today. It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests.

A so-called “blackout” is yet another gimmick, albeit a dangerous one, designed to punish elected and administration officials who are working diligently to protect American jobs from foreign criminals. It is our hope that the White House and the Congress will call on those who intend to stage this “blackout” to stop the hyperbole and PR stunts and engage in meaningful efforts to combat piracy.”

Oh Chris, why don’t you go enjoy a nice sack of heavily salted poison rat dicks to go with your Countrywide bribes and MPAA paychecks? [SOPA STRIKE/Stop American Censorship]

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

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Comments

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  • nounverb911

    With everyone on the innertubes down, just think of the page views our little Wonkette will get.

  • flamingpdog

    He's just another Doddering old fool now.

  • littlebigdaddy

    But how can anyone shut down a series of tubes?

    • flamingpdog

      Plug them with Santorum.

    • emmelemm

      True story: I never go through bank drive-throughs because I am afraid of the pneumatic tubes.

      • SudsMcKenzie

        I Love them, it reminds me of The Jetsons.

        • Terry

          Yeah, we should be traveling in them by now.

      • poncho_pilot

        awwww…i love the pneumatic tubes. ever since i was a small child. they're so…modern.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Pneumatic mail has been around since the 1850s.

          • emmelemm

            Thanks! I was going to look for some "rebuttal" facts, but you've saved me the trouble.

            ETA: I know poncho was not entirely serious… but still…

          • poncho_pilot

            well, i was serious about my love of pneumatic tubes. i'd always get my mom to let my put the container into the chute at the bank. that sounds wrong.

            so…modern in a steampunk kind of way. i can get down with that, too.

          • poncho_pilot

            damn you and your facts.

        • emmelemm

          Ever seen Brazil?

          • poncho_pilot

            yes! i like Gilliam a lot. except for The Brothers Grimm.

      • Biff

        Geico Gecko, izzat you?

        • emmelemm

          HA! Seriously, man, those things are scary.

    • MzNicky

      Easy. The right combo of kitty litter and dog hair'll do it every time. It's why I always keep a plunger handy.

    • Serolf_Divad

      This protest is like a tubal ligation of the internet.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Monkey wrench and a six pack of beer?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Chris Dodd is a real expert on the abuse of power.

    His bleat is just a bunch of words banged together.

    • flamingpdog

      He's running for the RepubliKlan Presidential nomination now?

  • memzilla

    The best way to stop Internet censorship is to

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

      at&t again, or intentional?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Not to start it.

    • http://dailyworldwatch.wordpress.com/ dailyworldwatch

      ████ ██████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ██████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ██████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ██

      Sorry, SOPA deleted my Quote on grounds of Intellectual property rights.

    • http://crasstalk.com/ grandinquisitor

      Have it run in the GOP primary?

  • PocketsTheClown

    I'm (censored)-faced. Truck(censored).

  • OkieDokieDog

    How dare the interwebz be irresponsible and do a disservice to the peoples by denying access to the lol kittehs!! Censorship of info is for FOX news, lobbyists and their lackey politicians.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Happy Anti-Censorship Day? Let me check Wikipedia about that …

    • CapeClod

      I guess we will have to rely on Conservapedia for all our information needs today.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Please. It is a well know fact that Muslim terrorist are using Pirate Bay to download movies without paying. Think of the children!

    • Negropolis

      This is just like 9/11!

      Nevah Fahgit!

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The whole Turkish government, fer shur

    • not that Dewey

      They hate us for our filmdom!

    • MzNicky

      Yep, that's it, game over. The turrists have won.

    • GOPCrusher

      Does this mean that Sept 19th will no longer be Talk Like A Pirate Day?

  • Buzz Feedback

    Shutting down canhascheezburger might not save jobs but it may restore America's dignity.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Dignity? I'd rather hav teh lulz.

      • Fare la Volpe

        ICHCB hasn't provided lulz since…well, forever.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          I dunno. I quite like "Fuck-You-Chris-Dodd-Cat".

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      Oh noes! somebody censoring mah bukkit!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      You can not haz dignity, dood.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "Ceiling cat iz watching u masturbate to internetz pron."

    • Negropolis

      Giz me canhazcheezburger, or giz me deff.

      Thoze whoo traid Icanhazcheezburger kat for internetz securkitties deserfs neevur.

      • tessiee

        Hear, hear!

        [applawz that nobuddy can hear becawz paws are floofy]

        • Negropolis

          Yez we can! We can haz appaws!

          Thank yewzes!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Comment deleted by the MPAA and RIAA.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Reply deleted by the MPAA and RIAA

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I am just glad that people in their 70s know what is best for the Internet.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Just like the Catholic clergy are the best authorities on birth control.

      • MzNicky

        And evangelists and godbags know what's best concerning women's reproductive choices.

  • emmelemm

    Wait!! WAIT!!! It's not midnight on the West Coast yet!!

    In my reality, it's still January 17th! OK, fine, let's do this thing.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    But Chris Dodd, that bloated white-haired crook…

    So not the one who gives diamonds to Calista, or the one who has Exxon's hands up his ass while he denies global warming, or the one who has a "The South Shall Rise Again" bumper sticker, or…
    ~

    • MzNicky

      They were all separated at birth, and who could blame their mother?

  • zappadoo76

    "…yet another gimmick, albeit a dangerous one."

    "Albeit"? Who is Chris's writer? The Ghost of Christmas Past?

  • http://www.twoeightnine.com twoeightnine

    I guess I've been protesting the SOPA/Protect IP bills for years without even knowing it.

    Blackouts for everybody!

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    The people who brought us "Glitter" and "Crossroads" should be able to handle a little thing like controlling the entire fucking internet.

  • fuflans

    didn't chris dodd have some weird scandal involving rock music and a disease?

    am i misremembering this?

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

      Carrie Fisher?

      • Fare la Volpe

        Carrie?

    • flamingpdog

      You mean the Cher AIDS game scandal?

      • emmelemm

        Is that some sort of Mad Lib?

        {this post to be taken down shortly by holder of "Mad Libs" intellectual property}

  • GhostBuggy

    "It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services."

    Of course, this leaking sack of garbage won't be saying this when he or the government are the ones doing the shutting down of information and services. No, then it will be Crimefighting.

    Also, uh, nice transparent threat, Dodd. Yeah, we get it, you're making an enemies list. Write GO FUCK YOURSELF in real big letters at the top.

    • anniegetyerfun

      It's irresponsible when it's done to illustrate a point, you see. It's totally fine if the government does it because a corporate backer said to.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

    So funny how all these fuckers rail against Communism and lack of freedom when it's precisely what they want.

    • arihaya

      lack of freedumb but with tons of Jesus is not communism,,,, its America !!

  • fuflans

    if wonkette gets shut down i'm going on strike.

    oh wait. i don't have a job. right.

    • yyyaz

      See ya at the picket line. I'll have the Four Roses in my little paper bag.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        If you can afford booze and a computer, you obviously are not "living in poverty."

        —Republican National Committee.

  • Data Exactly

    Wow, by the sound of Chris Dudd, this protest is WORKING.

  • Negropolis

    Fight for the Future? But, Obama wants us to Win the Future. I was told there would be no fighting.

    BTW, looks like Chris Dodd really does have something in common with Paris Hilton. They both suck Hollywood cock. Ha! "Stop the PR stunt." Mr. Dodd, you are a PR stunt.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Fuck for the Future?

      Works for me.

    • paris biltong

      Fellatio libel!

  • Guppy

    "It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services."

    Best to call them up and cancel your paying subscription, then. Oh, wait…

    " It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today."

    FREE MARKETS!

    "It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests."

    What do you do for a living again?

    "A so-called “blackout” is yet another gimmick, albeit a dangerous one, designed to punish elected and administration officials who are working diligently to protect American jobs from foreign criminals."

    Our SLAPP industry will be outsourced to England and Wales!

    "It is our hope that the White House and the Congress will call on those who intend to stage this “blackout” to stop the hyperbole and PR stunts and engage in meaningful efforts to combat piracy.”

    In a quiet room.

    • Radiotherapy

      "Chris Dodd"

      Ass wipe.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      I think what you meant to say was FUCK YOU, DODD!(possibly more !'s and 1's)

  • Negropolis

    SOPA has ruined sopes for me. :( Damn you, Power's that Be! I bite my thumb in your general direction.

    "Dangerous"? Drama queen much?

  • arihaya

    Obama's White House issued a statement that appeared to side with critics of the legislation.

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2012/01/14/obama-a

    so yeah, lets hope Barry doesn't cave to that teabagger neanderthal Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Where else,,, Tex-ass of course)

  • Radiotherapy

    Is wikileaks participating?

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Is our Wiki leaking?

    • not that Dewey

      Yes. Bradley Manning is blacked out all day.

      • Negropolis

        I know that I'm still human by the fact that I get mad at his treatment every time I see his name.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

    DNS schmee-en-ess. Resolve this, bitch!

  • Guppy

    A more effective protest might be filing for spurious DMCA takedowns against reelection campaign websites.

  • Radiotherapy

    CHRIS DODD

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

    ipconfig /flushdodd

  • yyyaz

    Here's a nice "Fuck you, you arrogant little American pissants."

    " … chief executive Dick Costolo taking on critics of the decision on Twitter over the weekend [tweeted], 'Closing a global business in reaction to single-issue national politics is foolish.' "

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Making me happy once again that I do not twat.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Ohh, thank god, cause I really need to know what Chuck Grassley is up to today.

  • http://crasstalk.com/ grandinquisitor

    < / congressional stupidity>

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      If only it were that easy.

  • Extempor████

    ████ ██████████!

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

      Look at you!! I always love when you chime in. You're ushering in a whole new era of redactedness.

      • Extempor████

        The feeling's [████████], baby.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      ██████████ ████ .

      • Extempor████

        I couldn't █████ more.

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

          Well, ████ me!

    • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      OK, I'm jealous. How you do dat?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Information at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicode_input
        Oh, wait…

        On a PC, if you're lucky, you can enter unicode:

        Press and hold down the Alt key.
        Press the (plus) key on the numeric keypad.
        Type the unicode value (2588 for █ )
        Release the Alt key.

        What could be more intuitive than that?
        (If it doesn't work, you need to set a registry key, and yadda Microsoft yadda.)

        On a Mac, of course, it's a piece of cake. ☺

        • Extempor████

          ████!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Couldn't have ██ed it better myself.

            Better watch it, though, or you'll end up being held indefinitely at ████.

          • Extempor████

            Isn't ████ one of those so-called "█████ sites" President █████ promised to shut down?

        • ShaveTheWhales

          █ ███ ████ ███ ███ █████.

        • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          Oh, OK, I'll just go to Wikipedia and…. D'OH!!!!!

          (The real question is whether this works on a laptop….nope, no keypad here…)

        • http://blogslut.com blogslut

          hmmm

          ❚❚❚❚

      • Extempor████

        It's as easy as █-█-█: Simply ████, █████, and ██████!

        • C_R_Eature

          Thanks!

          Very Sincerely Yours, ████████████████ (Real Name)

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

          I would just say ████ and █████, but who knows. Whatever works for you!

    • Radiotherapy

      Extem, you are never blah….. wait…. what.

      • Extempor████

        That's mighty ████ of ya, █████.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      This comment has been deleted by ██████████.

      • Extempor████

        Today, we are all ████████.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          You know who else ██████████?

          • Extempor████

            Al ██████?

          • C_R_Eature

            H████er?

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear
          • C_R_████████████e

            It's the future, if we're not careful.

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

            I didn't know you could search for ██████████.

          • C_R_████████████e

            UUUUh…just got it. That IS weird. Now I've got to go and find out what other bizarre shapes/things/colors are Search able.

            Just so you know, however:

            "Once you go ████████, you never go Back."

    • SorosBot
      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Nicely done. Game over.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Are we boycotting the internet or occupying it? I hope we are occupying it because it's pretty cold outside so I'll have to find my snowsuit.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Yes, I think.

  • littlebigdaddy

    First they came for the Wiki. I didn't give a fuck b/c who the fuck cares? Then they came for the tranny porn.

  • ElPinche

    Your move Dodd, Smith, and the rest of you fascist fucks. We'll take down web commerce and the whole grid. It'll be 1991 all over again .

    BTW: Take a look at wikipedia right now.

  • DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    I have the canary-bird-in-the-coal-mine theory of the arts. You know, coal miners used to take birds down into the mines with them to detect gas before men got sick. The artists certainly did that in the case of Vietnam. They chirped and keeled over. But it made no difference whatsoever. Nobody important cared. But I continue to think that artists – all artists – should be treasured as alarm systems.

    –Kurt Vonnegut

    There's something oddly moving about the sight of BoingBoing right now.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Today, we are all Boingers

    • Limeylizzie

      I loathe that BoingBoing woman with the stupid made-up name.

  • iburl

    Chris Dodd should be in prison, not kids singing along to Disney records on YouTube.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Ok, Newt.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Chis Dodd is singing Disney's tune, so that really does seem unfair.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Oh, fuck you, Chris Dodd, you pompous twat.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

    Wow, today, this entire blog really can be shipped to Afghanistantan, no one has lost any.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I thought "Word Press" was going to be down today and we would all have to scream nonsense from the front porch, as was the style of the times (1990's).

    • Negropolis

      Hopefully, you did this while wearing your onion belt, otherwise, how gauche of you!

      • SudsMcKenzie

        Theres a Demicrat in the Whitehouse!12

        • Negropolis

          You have completely lost me, which, admittedly, isn't that hard to do.

        • tessiee

          "There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood! OOH! Look at THAT one! Your driveway has too many leaves in it! The President is a Demmycrat! Hello? Helloooo???" — Abe "Grandpa" Simpson

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Went to send messages to my Congresscritters … only to find out that one of 'em is a fucking SPONSOR of SOPA, already bought and paid for by the entertainment industry.
    I wonder how big a check I'd have to enclose to get results.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests."

    What the fuck "corporate interests" does Wikipedia have, you jackass? (Not that YOU are furthering anybody's corporate interests, you shameless sleazeball.)

    • not that Dewey

      I don't know, but it would be an egregious abuse of power if they continued making encyclopedia articles available for free.

  • Radiotherapy

    A lot of websites are being Blah'd Out.

    • Extempor████

      █████ LIBEL!

      • Radiotherapy

        You know who else Blah'd Out the intertubes?

        • SudsMcKenzie

          Cylons?

        • Extempor████

          Rebecca █████?

        • C_R_████████████e

          Satan.
          Because this is my Six Hundred and Sixty Sixth comment.

  • C_R_Eature

    Am████ent I

    Congress shall make████ law ████ting an establishment of religion, or ███████ the ████ exercise thereof; or████g the ████om of speech, or of the press; or the ████t of the people ████ably to assemble, and to████ the government for a ████ of ████nces.

    It's for your own good. Sincerely,████████████, Inc.

  • ttommyunger

    Nice of Chris to finally come out-as a Republican.

    • Negropolis

      Probably less that he came out as being for and from one party or the other, and more that he's finally letting his Hollywood hooker flag fly with pride. Apparently, he has no qualms about formalizing selling himself out to the first organization that comes his way with an offer.

      • ttommyunger

        Never bought his act anyway, fuck him.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Yeah, what is it about Connecticut?

      • Negropolis

        Metropolitan New York City is what Connecticut is all about.

      • ttommyunger

        Prolly why their State Motto is in a foreign tongue and generally means: “Deal with change, but survive”.

  • Smithboy

    These laws always have unintended consequences…Hello Citizens for Freedom. Do we really want our congressmen and women pulling the cord on websites that might take an opposing view?

  • VinnyThePooh

    I fail to understand how Hollywood classifies shitty comic book movies as intellectual property.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Wikipedia's mobile site is unblocked and accessible on regular browsers: http://en.m.wikipedia.org

    Just sayin'.

    • not that Dewey

      Until you try to conduct a search. The wikipedia main english page shows up normally, at first, but goes to blackout when you execute a search.

      • johnnymeatworth

        Add the "m." back to the beginning and it will keep working. It did for me.

        • not that Dewey

          Hey! Whaddya know. Is this an example of the "internet routing around the damage", as Ruhe mentioned below?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      DOH!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Or hit "Esc" just as the page loads… it kills the blackout script.

  • Ruhe

    Interesting thought from GB's "The Register":

    "Should SOPA/PIPA or descendant bills pass, the internet is going to do what the internet does best: treat this new form of censorship as damage and route around it."

  • LiveToServeYa

    Intarwebs Blahout.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This comment has been deleted by the Central Scrutinizer.

  • SorosBot

    Uh, Chris Dodd, how the fuck is a protest by a bunch of websites primarily maintained by individuals an abuse of power, when they have no real power? Also how are they doing this "to further their corporate interests" when these are anti-corporate interests?

    • LiveToServeYa

      Yes, Websites are people, too, my friend.

  • Barrelhse

    Fuck Hollywood.

  • MzNicky

    "A so-called 'blackout' is yet another gimmick, albeit a dangerous one, designed to punish elected and administration officials who are working diligently to protect American jobs from foreign criminals."

    How wonderful that Mr. Dodd can so adroitly employ the bullshit-doublespeak skills he learned as a politician in his new role as PR whore. Nevertheless, I detect a certain "death throe" rattle.

    • SorosBot

      Quite a few of the congressmen who supported SOPA are backing off, and the administration has come out against it, so things are looking good.

  • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

    No Internet today? I have to WORK? FUCKING SOCIALISTS ARE TAKING OVER MY WEBZ AND NOT GIVING ME MY FREE CONTENTS!!!!!!111!!!ELEVENTY!!!! The youporn blackout was the last straw for me.

  • GregComlish

    History Time!

    Do you guys remember the Digital Millennium Copyright Act?

    When it was being passed everyone talked about how vital it was to combating rampant piracy. They said it's onerous provisions would only be deployed against "pirates" and not regular folks. Then the microsecond it became law the RIAA unleased a massive wave of lawsuits against ordinary Americans. The lawsuits typically sought millions of dollars of damages for the "crime" of sharing shitty music files over the internet. The RIAA and MPAA became vigilante copyright enforcement agents, and they have extorted millions from poor American victims. Meanwhile the rate of filesharing was not impacted by the legislation.

    The proposed SOPA and PIPA legislation are even worse bullshit with more surveillance, more intrusiveness, and granting big media companies arbitrary power to fuck over whomever they like.

    Call your Senator and let him know what you think of this bullshit. And don't accept "Senator Numbnutz opposes the legislation in it's current form" typical hedged political bullshit. You gotta say "Hey, that's not good enough! We need leadership on this issue. We need a Senator who's going to be standing up for us, not somebody who's going to make some cosmetic changes. I'm serious about this. This is important. He needs to get his ass in gear and stop this shit!"

  • GregComlish

    Also, if this shit passes, Wonkette is under threat. Do you really think that nobody is ever going to get pissed off and use SOPA as a pretext to fuck over Wonkette? Of course they will. And then Ken Layne is going to hit us up for the legal fees so he can defend this place. And then you're going to be like "fuck, I should have just called my Senator back when I had the chance of preventing this thing." So get off your ass and make those fucking calls right now. And then find an impressionable officemate and make him make those calls too.

  • MinAgain

    I'm already being censored. We have Mail Marshal at work.

  • tessiee

    "It is an irresponsible response"

    They've been saying this about every protest since the Montgomery bus boycott. I think they really need to get a new meme, or pay some poor person less than the going rate to do it for them, or something.

    "further their corporate interests."

    Is there even a word for this level of hypocrisy?

  • CivicHoliday

    ZOMG think of the blingees! THINK OF THE BLINGEES! (What would wonkette be without artistic parody for larfs?)

  • tessiee

    So, to clarify, we CAN, or can NOT, say "retard" now?

  • DahBoner

    If they shut down the Tubes, dirty hippies will go back to dial-up Bulletin Board Services.

    If only we still had a land-line….

  • http://crasstalk.com/ grandinquisitor

    The best part of the day so far has been listening to Warren Olney explaining on NPR what I Can Haz Cheezburger is.

  • Veritas78

    The one Wikipedia page that is not blocked today:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship

    Go Toobz!