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Rick Perry Continues to Think He’s a Scholar of Turkey

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In Monday night’s debate, Rick Perry made the claim that Turkey was “ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists.” Just as bafflingly, people from as far and wide as actual Turkey and D.C. have taken time out of their busy days Tuesday to condemn Perry’s par-for-the-course proclamation. But he’s been to Turkey, for god’s sake. He lived there. Have you?

Turkey’s Foreign Ministry responded to the claims by saying that Perry’s comments are “baseless and inappropriate” and that Turkey would not be wasting (but here it is wasting) its time on political candidates “who do not even know their allies.” The statement also dissed Perry’s low poll standings and added, “Figures who are candidates for positions that require responsibility, such as the U.S. presidency, should be more knowledgeable about the world and exert more care with their statement.”

Meantime, Perry’s camp is cavalierly maintaining that what Perry said last night holds true today, more or less. Defends his foreign policy adviser Victoria Coates:

The governor was responding to the questioners references to violence against women and to association with Hamas, I think both of which are things that many people do associate as he said with Islamic terrorists…He was referring to those things, and while he would welcome the opportunity to work with Turkey on regional issues like Syria or Iraq, this kind of behavior on the part of that country is disturbing and I think we should concerned about it.

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Perry! So protective of women! Even ones that are barely women yet!

Well, this is a fun distraction for Perry, who really should have dropped out a week or maybe a month ago. A new PPP poll released Tuesday shows that he doesn’t even have the most support of the candidates in his home state of Texas (he’s third behind Romney and Gingrich). Also, a large 39 percent of respondents in that poll actually think the governor is hurting the image of the state. A pretty remarkable feat.

The Turkish ambassador to the U.S., Namik Tan, appears to actually, in the end, feel kind of bad for the guy. “While it was unfortunate,” he said at the end of his statement, “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates, one where long-standing allies are treated with respect not disdain.”

Ignorance as a stepping stone to wisdom…a classic tenet of Republican philosophy.

We’ll leave the last word with the Turkish-American Council:

How can we expect to have friends in the international world if our leaders show this level of ignorance and narrow mindedness in trying to score political points?

But the lasting image is of Mitt Romney, undoubtedly smiling and looking down at his notepad of doodles while Perry driveled on. One man’s gaffe is another man’s pina colada by the pool/presidential nomination. [USA Today/Talking Points Memo]

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Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

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149 comments

      1. Gleem_McShineys

        It's not "fucking" if you just carefully place your "Lil Perry" inside the turkey's cloaca, and just "live there," you know.

        I, UH, MEAN, HAMMAS.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Rumor has it he's partial to the white meat as well. If you know what I mean, and I think you do.

  1. memzilla

    Perry, who, as a leader, is a turkey, doesn't know anything about Turkey, which is a NATO member. I wouldn't mind if Turkey felt the need to launch a first strike.

    1. GOPCrusher

      And there was that one time when they were part of the U.N. force fighting the Evil Red Menace on the Korean Peninsula.

  2. hagajim

    Hell Ricky, why don't you wear and I'm with Stupid t-shirt with the arrow pointed at your fat head.

  3. Baconzgood

    To be fair in Perry's mind Butte Montana is under the violent islamic rule of the Ayatollah Khomeini.

  4. nounverb911

    "Also, a large 39 percent of respondents in that poll actually think the governor is hurting the image of the state."
    Maybe they should secede from Texas.

      1. Terry

        Galveston and parts of Houston, too. If you ask someone from West Texas what's wrong with those places, they'll tell you with varying degrees of tact that Houston and Galvestion are full of gay people, Hispanics, immigrants, and liberals. Those exact terms won't be used, however

  5. littlebigdaddy

    He's probably one of those people you hear about every Thanksgiving who tries to deep fry a frozen turkey and burns down the whole trailer park.

  6. Callyson

    “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates"
    Ah, but was the spokesperson choking back laughter when he said this? Or throwing his arms into the air in disgust?
    My guess–the ubiquitous "all of 'em, Katie"…

  7. OkieDokieDog

    How dare Turkey be mean to the womenfolks. That's a job best suited for Teahadist Xtian Americans.

  8. fartknocker

    Rick, just STFU, come back to Austin, pack your stuff, and move to Niggerhead Ranch where you and Anita can quietly sit on your front porch, write books, and read Ron Paul newsletters.

  9. mavenmaven

    In the Republican mind, any adherent of Islam of any form is by definition a terrorist, and you can bet that most of his rabble entirely agrees with him.

  10. arihaya

    "… the governor is hurting the image of the state. "

    i don't think we can hurt something that was dead, maimed, and butchered 12 years ago

  11. jus_wonderin

    "Also, a large 39 percent of respondents in that poll actually think the governor is hurting the image of the state. A pretty remarkable feat."

    Perry has never needed a national stage to accomplish this.

  12. BaldarTFlagass

    "But he’s been to Turkey, for god’s sake. He lived there. Have you?"

    Yep. 1970-73, also worked there 1999-2004. Dude don't know what the fuck he's talking about. But not just about Turkey.

    1. NYNYNYjr

      You lived in Turkey in '70? Remember Al Fouk's? On Atmeydani St? Those were the days. I think it's a antique store now.

    1. jus_wonderin

      Stop really, really quick and it will hit and roll over the roof and hood where you can then run over it repeatedly until it is flattened like an armardillo on a desolate farm to market road.

      That's the way angry Texas wives take care of things!!!

  13. LesBontemps

    … “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates, one where long-standing allies are treated with respect not disdain.”

    Hahahahahaha. Is your name Israel? No? Then fuck you!

  14. BaldarTFlagass

    “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates, one where long-standing allies are treated with respect not disdain.”

    Sorry, effendi, it just isn't going to happen, unless they bring back Ike or Nixon.

  15. IceCreamEmpress

    Considering that he's lived in the US his whole life (except for his Turkey years) and knows approximately jack point shit about its history, Constitution, etc., why should this be any different?

    You know, back in the days when the clown car was straight-up called the Know-Nothing Party, Perry would have been right in the wheelhouse.

  16. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Well, as far as I know, the state of Texas does not have any active affiliations to Hamas. Thank God, or otherwise I would think it was under the control of Islamic extremist.

    1. Barrelhse

      Sue Myrick says Hamas and Hezbollah are stampeding across the border from Mexico, even as we fools are asleep at the wheel, so it's possible they've quietly assumed control while Rico has been out of state.
      Also, I laughed when the Houston Texans LOST in the playoffs.

  17. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Plus, really, with names like "Namik Tan," are you going to tell me that the Turks aren't planning on bombing us to smithereens?

    1. Barrelhse

      We should seriously consider a pre-emtive strike because our National Security- and our very way of life- is under threat.
      And the rest of 'em too, just in case.

  18. chicken_thief

    Did foreign policy adviser Victoria Coates go to the same school of Journalism as Lou Sarah?! Her attempted explanation of whatever Rick the Flaming Cowboy was trying to say is a word salad rivalling anything out of Wasilla.

  19. CountryClubJihadi

    He makes me long for the days when Eunuchs could snatch you up and throw you in a weighted sack into the Bosphorus.

  20. Baconzgood

    He's like dark matter dense. I'm really at a loss for snark with this dude. I mean I knew Tex-ass was screwed up but to vote this guy in over and over and over. Fuck me.

  21. MrFizzy

    I perceive Perry to be someone who was educated at a third-rate Texas University and gets most of his information from USA Today.

    1. Barrelhse

      Not to be picky, but maybe "attended" instead of "educated at"?
      We won't laugh at him for being a Yeller(!), though, because male cheerleaders are the future of Texas.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    "But the lasting image is of Mitt Romney, undoubtedly smiling and looking down at his notepad of doodles while Perry driveled on."

    And no doubt drawing stick figures with hugely exaggerated genitalia, a la Jackie Treehorn.

  23. chicken_thief

    "But he’s been to Turkey, for god’s sake. He lived there. "

    I lived in Okinawa for about a year back in 74-75. Which would make me, by Perrymetrics, an expert on all things Japanese.

  24. owhatever

    Back then, he was a studly young airman out there reading the Korean with the locals and nailing some lady Turkeys. Then he became a Turkey himself.

  25. SorosBot

    Rick, Turkey is working on us "on regional issues like Syria or Iraq". It's also the only true democracy in the Middle East (no, an apartheid state doesn't count) and the fact that a few religious fundamentalist assholes there would like to restrict the rights of women – just like in, oh, the US – doesn't change the fact that they have a free and open society. Not all Muslim countries are the same.

  26. Rotundo_

    Remember when we supposedly wanted a president we would want to have a beer with and got Dubya. In Ricky's case, I would be afraid he would drown drinking a bottle of the stuff. Do they have to lead him up to the podium at the debates and stuff?

  27. comrad_darkness

    >references to violence against women

    You mean like forcing women to carry a brain dead baby to term like Rick Perry does?

    1. Chichikovovich

      It's interesting to note how many ways you could get a fitting sentence with different placements of the phrase "like Rick Perry" and dropping redundant words.

      There's your question:

      You mean like forcing women to carry a brain dead baby to term like Rick Perry does?

      And then there's:
      You mean like Rick Perry, forcing women to carry a brain dead baby to term?

      And then of course:
      You mean forcing women to carry a brain dead like Rick Perry baby to term?

  28. Chichikovovich

    “ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists.”

    Did he continue "because those many are just like me, braindead dumb enough to lose a thinking contest against plankton."?

    'Cause I'd be cool with him saying that

  29. MissTaken

    I think if the GOP candidates were stranded on a deserted island together they would last about 45 minutes before turning into Lord of the Flies.

  30. rickmaci

    Gov. Perry, "…what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

  31. BZ1

    You're kidding, Turkey’s Foreign Ministry actually responded to one of Perry's inanities (if there is such a word)???

  32. donner_froh

    “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates"

    Those wily Mooslims–using terms like informed and Republican in the same sentence.

  33. teebob2000

    For that last statement from the Turkish-American Council to refer to Perry as one of our "leaders" is as misleading and inaccurate as Perry's own statement. He's a bumblefuck governor of a genetically-deficient back-water state. For fuck's sake, he's succeeded in embarrassing 40% of his own constituents by his repeated ignorance, and for Texans (supplier of our nation's elementary school textbooks, don't forget!), that's saying something.

  34. Beowoof

    Please go back to Texas now and work on the secession plan. Don't worry I will actively campaign to get you out of the union. Then you can have your Somalia like republic of savage intorlerance.

    1. Gainsbourg69

      Noooooo. The longer he stays in the race the more he makes that pack of idiots look unelectable.

  35. Guppy

    Perry met with Vladimir Putin (they were introduced by Palin, natch), who asked him to please get NATO out of Turkey (et al). And when R. Perry looked deep into Vlad's eyes, he could see the man's soul

  36. HistoriCat

    we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates, one where long-standing allies are treated with respect not disdain.

    Wow – someone who still holds out hope that Republicans can become better informed. The Repubs themselves don't want to become better informed and the rest of us have given up hope of it ever happening.

  37. SayItWithWookies

    It's too bad Rick Perry failed animal husbandry in college — because he could really use one of those elbow-length latex gloves right now to figure out where he left his head.

  38. JimNauseam

    Wouldn't it be fairer to say that Religious Conservatism is the real problem here? Especially when it comes in so many flavors.

  39. johnnyzhivago

    Speaking of Islamophobia, it's funny how Americans are all worked up about Taliban terrorfighters spending their days stopping little girls from going to school. You know what OTHER COUNTRY is fully of religious fanatics who want women to stay home and do the wash and keep their asses out of public??? The country in the middle east with Nucular Weapons…

  40. Barrelhse

    But can he SEE Turkey from his porch at Niggerhead?

    And is he another one that "God" told to run?! Deluded.

  41. Terry

    The only thing Rick Perry has accomplished by running for president, other than spending lots of money, is to have convinced most people in the country that he's a fundamentally stupid man.

  42. Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Figures who are candidates for positions that require responsibility, such as the U.S. presidency, should be more knowledgeable about the world and exert more care with their statement.”

    What's pathetic is that we needed a Turkish government spokesman to say it.

  43. Soylent Green

    Hey Texas! Come and pick up your boy, he's acting funny again! Think of this next election cycle, OK?

  44. comrad_darkness

    Categorically, if Rick Perry spouts ignorant things about you, whether you be a country or a person, that should be interpretted as the highest form of praise.

  45. cheaphits

    Look at his record, hell he started out as a Democrat and has consistently changed his course like a lotto ball in the tumbler.

    If the Islamic terrorist were winning, Rick would be headed for the mosque with an AK-47.

  46. ttommyunger

    "Rick Perry Continues to Think He’s a Scholar of Turkey." Everyone else just thinks he's a fucking turkey.

  47. Negropolis

    And, Perry would know about violence against women and terrorism being from that enlightened, cultured land of Texas, right? This is the pot calling the kettle Muslin.

  48. misanthrope

    The only danger in Turkey is the traffic and sexy overzealous swarthy types with thick eyebrows. I'll take a Turkish guy over a Texas one anytime, but I can't really understand what either of them are saying.

Comments are closed.