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Rick Perry Continues to Think He’s a Scholar of Turkey

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In Monday night’s debate, Rick Perry made the claim that Turkey was “ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists.” Just as bafflingly, people from as far and wide as actual Turkey and D.C. have taken time out of their busy days Tuesday to condemn Perry’s par-for-the-course proclamation. But he’s been to Turkey, for god’s sake. He lived there. Have you?

Turkey’s Foreign Ministry responded to the claims by saying that Perry’s comments are “baseless and inappropriate” and that Turkey would not be wasting (but here it is wasting) its time on political candidates “who do not even know their allies.” The statement also dissed Perry’s low poll standings and added, “Figures who are candidates for positions that require responsibility, such as the U.S. presidency, should be more knowledgeable about the world and exert more care with their statement.”

Meantime, Perry’s camp is cavalierly maintaining that what Perry said last night holds true today, more or less. Defends his foreign policy adviser Victoria Coates:

The governor was responding to the questioners references to violence against women and to association with Hamas, I think both of which are things that many people do associate as he said with Islamic terrorists…He was referring to those things, and while he would welcome the opportunity to work with Turkey on regional issues like Syria or Iraq, this kind of behavior on the part of that country is disturbing and I think we should concerned about it.

Perry! So protective of women! Even ones that are barely women yet!

Well, this is a fun distraction for Perry, who really should have dropped out a week or maybe a month ago. A new PPP poll released Tuesday shows that he doesn’t even have the most support of the candidates in his home state of Texas (he’s third behind Romney and Gingrich). Also, a large 39 percent of respondents in that poll actually think the governor is hurting the image of the state. A pretty remarkable feat.

The Turkish ambassador to the U.S., Namik Tan, appears to actually, in the end, feel kind of bad for the guy. “While it was unfortunate,” he said at the end of his statement, “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates, one where long-standing allies are treated with respect not disdain.”

Ignorance as a stepping stone to wisdom…a classic tenet of Republican philosophy.

We’ll leave the last word with the Turkish-American Council:

How can we expect to have friends in the international world if our leaders show this level of ignorance and narrow mindedness in trying to score political points?

But the lasting image is of Mitt Romney, undoubtedly smiling and looking down at his notepad of doodles while Perry driveled on. One man’s gaffe is another man’s pina colada by the pool/presidential nomination. [USA Today/Talking Points Memo]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Does Perry cook the stuffing inside or outside the bird?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I can't answer that, but I think he keeps fucking that chicken.

      • Baconzgood

        DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and your Quick Draw McGraw snark!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Snooze you…ummmm….oops! Can't get fooled agin!

    • Baconzgood

      Inside stuffing!

      Keep fucking that TURKEY Perry.

      • Gleem_McShineys

        It's not "fucking" if you just carefully place your "Lil Perry" inside the turkey's cloaca, and just "live there," you know.

        I, UH, MEAN, HAMMAS.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Rumor has it he's partial to the white meat as well. If you know what I mean, and I think you do.

      • Negropolis

        He fucks pigs? Figures.

  • LeninGooch

    Perry lived in Turkey? I would have thought he was just an expert in Burger.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    If he continues to wear his Brokeback wardrobe, he might just be a gobbler.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Could be worse. He could have called them "Turduckens"

  • memzilla

    Perry, who, as a leader, is a turkey, doesn't know anything about Turkey, which is a NATO member. I wouldn't mind if Turkey felt the need to launch a first strike.

    • GOPCrusher

      And there was that one time when they were part of the U.N. force fighting the Evil Red Menace on the Korean Peninsula.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I'm waiting for him to claim that was why the governor's mansion in Austin burned down. It WAS ruled by the fire marshal to be arson.

  • hagajim

    Hell Ricky, why don't you wear and I'm with Stupid t-shirt with the arrow pointed at your fat head.

  • Barb

    I call Istanbullshit on Perry.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Also known as Constanti-NOPE!

      • MissTaken

        That's nobody's business but the Turks.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          "Atta, Turk!" I always say.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        He Otto-man know better.

        • SorosBot

          His idiocy has des-Troy-ed his campaign.

          • Toomush_Infer

            OUCH…

    • unclejeems

      Anatola you so.

      • bagofmice

        That was Ankara'd for.

  • Baconzgood

    To be fair in Perry's mind Butte Montana is under the violent islamic rule of the Ayatollah Khomeini.

  • nounverb911

    "Also, a large 39 percent of respondents in that poll actually think the governor is hurting the image of the state."
    Maybe they should secede from Texas.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Nuke Austin and it goes down to 2%.

      • Terry

        Galveston and parts of Houston, too. If you ask someone from West Texas what's wrong with those places, they'll tell you with varying degrees of tact that Houston and Galvestion are full of gay people, Hispanics, immigrants, and liberals. Those exact terms won't be used, however

  • littlebigdaddy

    He's probably one of those people you hear about every Thanksgiving who tries to deep fry a frozen turkey and burns down the whole trailer park.

    • arihaya

      ".. burns down the whole trailer park. "

      along with the meth factories therein

      • Terry

        That's why the whole trailer park burns so fast. The turkey grease is just the spark.

    • Biff

      One of my favorites by Paul Thorn!

  • Callyson

    “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates"
    Ah, but was the spokesperson choking back laughter when he said this? Or throwing his arms into the air in disgust?
    My guess–the ubiquitous "all of 'em, Katie"…

  • OkieDokieDog

    How dare Turkey be mean to the womenfolks. That's a job best suited for Teahadist Xtian Americans.

  • Beetagger

    I'm sure Romney was against Turkey before he was for it.

    • nounverb911

      Romney seems more the "peasant under glass" sort.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Paysanne aux pieds. After all, he was a missionary in the unChristian nation of France.

      • chicken_thief

        Or the "peasant, mow my fucking lawn" sort.

  • Indiepalin

    Turkey, Texas

  • fartknocker

    Rick, just STFU, come back to Austin, pack your stuff, and move to Niggerhead Ranch where you and Anita can quietly sit on your front porch, write books, and read Ron Paul newsletters.

    • MosesInvests

      Speaking from Austin: DO*NOT*WANT!

  • ProgressiveInga

    Oops.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

    Perry's an expert in bird law.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Aha!! It's all clear now. The reason the Navy doesn't want us listening to the ocean,

    "….the sound is scrubbed to remove the noise of naval vessels. "
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-16555916

    Is because the Muslins are gonna invade by walking on the ocean floor until they get to the coast, where they will easily be able to take all of our guns away and institute Sharia law like Obama wants !!!
    http://www.listentothedeep.com/

    • ThundercatHo

      I think I saw that movie. It had Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom in it.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Finish the dang (underwater) fence!

    • Biff

      Spongebob?

  • EdFlintstone

    I say it's progress that Perry realized Turkey was a country.

    • unclejeems

      He thinks it's bordered by Chickistan and Duckadonia.

  • OzoneTom

    A President Perry would end the practice of pardoning a Turkey each Thanksgiving.

  • mavenmaven

    In the Republican mind, any adherent of Islam of any form is by definition a terrorist, and you can bet that most of his rabble entirely agrees with him.

  • widestanceshakedown

    Think?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Turkey would not be wasting (but here it is wasting) its time

    Today we are all wasting time, in spite of ourselves.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Wasted days and wasted nights,
      wondering if Perry'll get anything right….

  • arihaya

    "… the governor is hurting the image of the state. "

    i don't think we can hurt something that was dead, maimed, and butchered 12 years ago

    • Barrelhse

      Perry's a necrophile.

  • jus_wonderin

    "Also, a large 39 percent of respondents in that poll actually think the governor is hurting the image of the state. A pretty remarkable feat."

    Perry has never needed a national stage to accomplish this.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "But he’s been to Turkey, for god’s sake. He lived there. Have you?"

    Yep. 1970-73, also worked there 1999-2004. Dude don't know what the fuck he's talking about. But not just about Turkey.

    • NYNYNYjr

      You lived in Turkey in '70? Remember Al Fouk's? On Atmeydani St? Those were the days. I think it's a antique store now.

  • orygoon

    It's good to have Texas in my rear view mirror.

    • jus_wonderin

      Stop really, really quick and it will hit and roll over the roof and hood where you can then run over it repeatedly until it is flattened like an armardillo on a desolate farm to market road.

      That's the way angry Texas wives take care of things!!!

  • LesBontemps

    … “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates, one where long-standing allies are treated with respect not disdain.”

    Hahahahahaha. Is your name Israel? No? Then fuck you!

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

      'Isril'

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        TURKEY ISREAL!

  • MissTaken

    I'm just impressed he knew that Turkey was actually a country.

    • Biff

      But can he name which continent(s) it's in?

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Trick question! He wouldn't get it even though you put the give-away "(s)" in there.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates, one where long-standing allies are treated with respect not disdain.”

    Sorry, effendi, it just isn't going to happen, unless they bring back Ike or Nixon.

    • unclejeems

      Right, but both of them would be labeled RINOs and tossed out of the party.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    "Yeah, well, Hamas, and stuff. THAT'S WHY. I still is right."

  • prommie

    Shorter Perry: All Mooslems are god-danged terrists. Piss on 'em.

  • ndisang67

    I would love Texas to go sharia when they secede…

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Considering that he's lived in the US his whole life (except for his Turkey years) and knows approximately jack point shit about its history, Constitution, etc., why should this be any different?

    You know, back in the days when the clown car was straight-up called the Know-Nothing Party, Perry would have been right in the wheelhouse.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Well, as far as I know, the state of Texas does not have any active affiliations to Hamas. Thank God, or otherwise I would think it was under the control of Islamic extremist.

    • Barrelhse

      Sue Myrick says Hamas and Hezbollah are stampeding across the border from Mexico, even as we fools are asleep at the wheel, so it's possible they've quietly assumed control while Rico has been out of state.
      Also, I laughed when the Houston Texans LOST in the playoffs.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Plus, really, with names like "Namik Tan," are you going to tell me that the Turks aren't planning on bombing us to smithereens?

    • Barrelhse

      We should seriously consider a pre-emtive strike because our National Security- and our very way of life- is under threat.
      And the rest of 'em too, just in case.

  • chicken_thief

    Did foreign policy adviser Victoria Coates go to the same school of Journalism as Lou Sarah?! Her attempted explanation of whatever Rick the Flaming Cowboy was trying to say is a word salad rivalling anything out of Wasilla.

    • MissTaken

      You mean North Korea isn't our ally???

  • CountryClubJihadi

    He makes me long for the days when Eunuchs could snatch you up and throw you in a weighted sack into the Bosphorus.

  • Baconzgood

    He's like dark matter dense. I'm really at a loss for snark with this dude. I mean I knew Tex-ass was screwed up but to vote this guy in over and over and over. Fuck me.

  • MrFizzy

    I perceive Perry to be someone who was educated at a third-rate Texas University and gets most of his information from USA Today.

    • Barrelhse

      Not to be picky, but maybe "attended" instead of "educated at"?
      We won't laugh at him for being a Yeller(!), though, because male cheerleaders are the future of Texas.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Well now he's an Old Yeller. That seems so appropriate.

        • chicken_thief

          Is it time to get the rifle?!

  • Schmannnity

    Perry is a Turkey Squalor.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "But the lasting image is of Mitt Romney, undoubtedly smiling and looking down at his notepad of doodles while Perry driveled on."

    And no doubt drawing stick figures with hugely exaggerated genitalia, a la Jackie Treehorn.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Perry: "Attaturk Or ButterBall, what's the Diff?"

  • chicken_thief

    "But he’s been to Turkey, for god’s sake. He lived there. "

    I lived in Okinawa for about a year back in 74-75. Which would make me, by Perrymetrics, an expert on all things Japanese.

    • GOPCrusher

      I lived in Alaska from 80 to 81. I guess my wife is right. I am a fucking moron.

  • owhatever

    Back then, he was a studly young airman out there reading the Korean with the locals and nailing some lady Turkeys. Then he became a Turkey himself.

    • MosesInvests

      LADY Turkeys? Really?

  • SorosBot

    Rick, Turkey is working on us "on regional issues like Syria or Iraq". It's also the only true democracy in the Middle East (no, an apartheid state doesn't count) and the fact that a few religious fundamentalist assholes there would like to restrict the rights of women – just like in, oh, the US – doesn't change the fact that they have a free and open society. Not all Muslim countries are the same.

  • Rotundo_

    Remember when we supposedly wanted a president we would want to have a beer with and got Dubya. In Ricky's case, I would be afraid he would drown drinking a bottle of the stuff. Do they have to lead him up to the podium at the debates and stuff?

    • GOPCrusher

      That's why they don't let him outside when it rains.

    • Soylent Green

      He would've choked, day one, on an old style beer pull tab if not for SCIENCE!

  • Baconzgood

    MMMMMM turkey and hamas Glllllllllgggghhghghghghh.

  • Radiotherapy

    Turkey is people too.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    while(1) {
    printf("Infinite douchebag\n");
    }

  • comrad_darkness

    >references to violence against women

    You mean like forcing women to carry a brain dead baby to term like Rick Perry does?

    • Chichikovovich

      It's interesting to note how many ways you could get a fitting sentence with different placements of the phrase "like Rick Perry" and dropping redundant words.

      There's your question:

      You mean like forcing women to carry a brain dead baby to term like Rick Perry does?

      And then there's:
      You mean like Rick Perry, forcing women to carry a brain dead baby to term?

      And then of course:
      You mean forcing women to carry a brain dead like Rick Perry baby to term?

    • Biff

      Don't you mean Rick Perry's mother?

  • Chichikovovich

    “ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists.”

    Did he continue "because those many are just like me, braindead dumb enough to lose a thinking contest against plankton."?

    'Cause I'd be cool with him saying that

    • elfgoldsackring

      Foreigners, Islamic terrists — same diff.

  • MissTaken

    I think if the GOP candidates were stranded on a deserted island together they would last about 45 minutes before turning into Lord of the Flies.

    • SorosBot

      Now that would make a great reality show!

    • Chichikovovich

      Newt would like it at first because he could hog the conch.

    • emmelemm

      I'd go PPV on that bitch.

  • MzNicky

    Rick Perry IS a turkey! haw haw!

  • rickmaci

    Gov. Perry, "…what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    You're kidding, Turkey’s Foreign Ministry actually responded to one of Perry's inanities (if there is such a word)???

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    “we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates"

    Those wily Mooslims–using terms like informed and Republican in the same sentence.

  • Radiotherapy

    What a Turkeyhead.

  • MinAgain

    Using Rick Perry and turkey in the same sentence is redundant.

  • Gainsbourg69

    Rick is sympathetic to the PKK?

  • teebob2000

    For that last statement from the Turkish-American Council to refer to Perry as one of our "leaders" is as misleading and inaccurate as Perry's own statement. He's a bumblefuck governor of a genetically-deficient back-water state. For fuck's sake, he's succeeded in embarrassing 40% of his own constituents by his repeated ignorance, and for Texans (supplier of our nation's elementary school textbooks, don't forget!), that's saying something.

  • Slim_Pickins

    Maybe he meant Islamic tourists.

  • Beowoof

    Please go back to Texas now and work on the secession plan. Don't worry I will actively campaign to get you out of the union. Then you can have your Somalia like republic of savage intorlerance.

    • Gainsbourg69

      Noooooo. The longer he stays in the race the more he makes that pack of idiots look unelectable.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        But when the convention is over, THEN he can work on the secession plan.

  • JackObin

    Texas is ruled by a blithering idiot. I realize they like their idiots down thar, but still.

  • BarackMyWorld

    As God as my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly.

  • chascates

    ..turkey of a scholar
    /Fixed

  • meatlofer

    Like Les Nessman said, "The turkeys are hitting the pavement,like bags of wet cement!"

  • DahBoner

    I think he's talking about the dangers of Butterball Turkey Sharia law…

    • chicken_thief

      I know you got that comment in here late in the game, but I like it – kudos!!!

  • Guppy

    Perry met with Vladimir Putin (they were introduced by Palin, natch), who asked him to please get NATO out of Turkey (et al). And when R. Perry looked deep into Vlad's eyes, he could see the man's soul

  • HistoriCat

    we do hope this episode in last night’s debate leads to a better informed foreign policy discussion among the Republican Party candidates, one where long-standing allies are treated with respect not disdain.

    Wow – someone who still holds out hope that Republicans can become better informed. The Repubs themselves don't want to become better informed and the rest of us have given up hope of it ever happening.

  • SayItWithWookies

    It's too bad Rick Perry failed animal husbandry in college — because he could really use one of those elbow-length latex gloves right now to figure out where he left his head.

    • elfgoldsackring

      In the stuffing?

  • JimNauseam

    Wouldn't it be fairer to say that Religious Conservatism is the real problem here? Especially when it comes in so many flavors.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    When Rick is elected it will be Chicken Night in Turkey every night.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Speaking of Islamophobia, it's funny how Americans are all worked up about Taliban terrorfighters spending their days stopping little girls from going to school. You know what OTHER COUNTRY is fully of religious fanatics who want women to stay home and do the wash and keep their asses out of public??? The country in the middle east with Nucular Weapons…

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      …and actually shoots little Palestinian girls trying to get to school.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Turkey may be run by terrorists, but they have the cleanest prostitutes in all of Central Asia.

  • Steverino247

    Bonfire of the Inanities: The Rick Perry Story.

  • Barrelhse

    But can he SEE Turkey from his porch at Niggerhead?

    And is he another one that "God" told to run?! Deluded.

  • Terry

    The only thing Rick Perry has accomplished by running for president, other than spending lots of money, is to have convinced most people in the country that he's a fundamentally stupid man.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Figures who are candidates for positions that require responsibility, such as the U.S. presidency, should be more knowledgeable about the world and exert more care with their statement.”

    What's pathetic is that we needed a Turkish government spokesman to say it.

  • Soylent Green

    Hey Texas! Come and pick up your boy, he's acting funny again! Think of this next election cycle, OK?

  • Biff

    Or giblets, at least.

  • comrad_darkness

    Categorically, if Rick Perry spouts ignorant things about you, whether you be a country or a person, that should be interpretted as the highest form of praise.

  • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews cheaphits

    Look at his record, hell he started out as a Democrat and has consistently changed his course like a lotto ball in the tumbler.

    If the Islamic terrorist were winning, Rick would be headed for the mosque with an AK-47.

  • ttommyunger

    "Rick Perry Continues to Think He’s a Scholar of Turkey." Everyone else just thinks he's a fucking turkey.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Oddly enough, the US missile defense site in Turkey went live today.

  • Bonghits4Jesus

    Rick Perry can tell his ally from his asshole.

  • Negropolis

    And, Perry would know about violence against women and terrorism being from that enlightened, cultured land of Texas, right? This is the pot calling the kettle Muslin.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Don't get him started on the Armenian genocide.

  • misanthrope

    The only danger in Turkey is the traffic and sexy overzealous swarthy types with thick eyebrows. I'll take a Turkish guy over a Texas one anytime, but I can't really understand what either of them are saying.