SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT  1:47 pm January 17, 2012

Scott Walker Bravely Flees Wisconsin on Recall Petition Deadline Day

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Let the flushing commence!

Organizers of Wisconsin’s effort to recall remorseless demon Scott Walker from office are said to be dumping three thousand pounds of petition signatures off with election officials today per the collection deadline, hooray! Scott Walker is taking the news exactly like the comical cartoon villain that he is, and he immediately flew to New York City to hide/sob among his only friends, filthy aging kleptocrats. And, of course, to beg for their money. UPDATE: Bwahahahaha, recall organizers just announced they are turning in ONE MILLION SIGNATURES, twice as many as are needed to force a recall election and nearly one quarter of the state’s entire voting population.

From Mother Jones:

Tuesday’s Walker fundraiser, first reported by the New York Daily News, is hosted by no less than Hank Greenberg, the former CEO of American International Group, the global insurance corporation that needed $150 billion in bailout funds in 2008 and 2009 from the Treasury Department and Federal Reserve. The cost of attending is $2,500 per person or $5,000 per couple.

So, does the evil prince have anything at all to say to the lowly peasants of Wisconsin in defense of his honor on this, the day the reckoning commenced?

Uh, let’s check his Twitter feed for the official reaction: “Be careful today. The roads are slick.”

Ha ha, that’s all he’s got because he is a lousy thug: STAY HOME, everyone, if you know what is good for you. [MoJo/ Wisconsin State Journal]

 
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{ 130 comments }

Chillwillard January 17, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Pussy!

On an unrelated note, I'm glad to know that tax-payer founded PBS is advertising on Wonkette. How long until we see one of the Breitard sites scream "Defund Wonkit!!1!!1!"?

nounverb911 January 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Again? When did he stop?

Chillwillard January 17, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I haven't heard anything about Breitard & Co since the infamous "Wiener incident." Coincidence? I think not!

orygoon January 17, 2012 at 1:52 pm

AIG, oh yeah. I got my retirement-account pittance from my first job transferred out of their VALIC creature, finally, and I feel very good about this.

Toomush_Infer January 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Yeah, me too – though now they contact me a lot more often than for the 11 years my job required me to keep them…

Toomush_Infer January 17, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Wait!…upon reflection, didn't Valic position itself heavily as a state employees retirement pension fund manager???? And if AIG is helping out Scott Walker's effort to kill state unions, where does that leave Valic? Is there more to this….?

SmutBoffin January 17, 2012 at 1:52 pm

If he gets recalled, he can always apply for the "Secretary of Child Labor" opening in the Gingrich administration.

Mahousu January 17, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Alas, he'd never have a chance. Too many other Republicans jockeying for the opportunity to say, "Look, son, you want a job, right?"

starfanglednut January 17, 2012 at 3:34 pm

While pushing the child's head toward his crotch.

memzilla January 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Betcha $10,000 those checks to Walker are going to be post-dated.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Maybe the Saudis will take him in and allow him to live out his life in a little mansion by the Red Sea?

Isn't that what usually happens?

GOPCrusher January 17, 2012 at 2:37 pm

There is a compound in Pakistan that has a For Sale sign out front.

Negropolis January 18, 2012 at 3:25 am

It's usually in a villa on the Riviera in France.

freakishlywrong January 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Shorter Scott Walker, (and all teapublican Guvners); "Does this asshole make my ass look big?"

HobbesEvilTwin January 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

A Hank Greenberg/Scott Walker event! Wow, that's a lot of Kochsucking in one place.

BarryOPotter January 17, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Greenberg is a douchebag's douchebag, viz, they're meant for each other.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

You know who else fled a populist revolt?

TanzbodenKoenig January 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Louis XVI?

SorosBot January 17, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Not Khaddafi!

ManchuCandidate January 17, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Ceaucescu

doloras January 17, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Nah, Ceausescu stayed and tried to tough it out, which is why he was the only Stalinist dictator to get shot rather than end life in exile, jail or the leader of a very minor political party.

So: Erich Honecker.

Negropolis January 18, 2012 at 3:26 am

He was caught trying to flea the country.

nounverb911 January 17, 2012 at 1:59 pm

R. Milhouse Nixon?

mrblifil January 17, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Charlie Sheen?

GOPCrusher January 17, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Ferdinand and Emelda Marcos?

teebob2000 January 17, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Steve Jobs?

HelmutNewton January 17, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Benito Mussolini?

thisdavo January 17, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Willard Romney, when he decided that running for reelection in Mass. might not be such a great idea.

Negropolis January 18, 2012 at 3:26 am

Nicolae Ceaușescu?

Extemporanus January 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

ON, WISCONSIN!

slowhansolo January 17, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I wish Pennsylvania would get on the bus, too.

SorosBot January 17, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Well we don't have recalls so we're sadly stuck with evil Tom Coburn for the next three years.

slowhansolo January 17, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Tom Corporate? Tom Drill-bit?

Sigh. Some unrest would be nice, at least.

Extemporanus January 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm

As my Pennsyltuckian grandpa used to say, "Patience, son — even a short bus gets there eventually."

Speaking of grandpa, when I was about ten or so and visiting him in little ol' Shiremanstown, PA, I was poking around like usual in the tiny woods behind his house when I suddenly found myself face to face with a very, very pissed-off albino (?!) fucking badger!

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH!!

We're it not for the fact that dude obviously sensed that I was from Wisconsin, I'm quite certain that my term as living human would've been immediately recalled.

(TRUE STORY!)

So, my advice to y'all is this:

Steal a Corburn campaign sign from the front yard of one of your idiot neighbors, track down that angry old albino badger, just cold shove the sign in his stump or hole or whatever, run like hell, and then sit back and watch as Nature takes its bloody course.

MissTaken January 17, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Don't forget, it was through the recall process that we got stuck with the Governator/Domestic Help Fornicator, Ahnold.

Recalls aren't always a good thing.

SorosBot January 17, 2012 at 3:14 pm

True, although Arnold actually looks good compared to today's Republican governors, lovechild and all.

BaldarTFlagass January 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Wisconsinites should check and see if the good silverware is still present at the Governor's Mansion. If not, I might suggest that he won't be returning. SO LONG, SUCKERS, SEE YOU IN COSTA RICA!!

BerkeleyBear January 17, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Joke's on him – we have an extradition treaty with them now.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

You would think that someone in the Walker office would have thought about a better visual for today…, like feasting on the bodies of orphan children or something.

Indiepalin January 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I say throw Hank Greenberg's ass out of the Hall of Fame for this chickenshit move !!

TanzbodenKoenig January 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Bravely Brave Scott Walker, he bravely ran away!

Chillwillard January 17, 2012 at 2:08 pm

But he wouldn't be the first Republican to run away from conflict, would he?

ManchuCandidate January 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Brave Scott Walker ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When Democracy reared its cheezy head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Scott Walker turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Scott Walker!

freakishlywrong January 17, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Well, Manchu, filthy lucre doesn't donate itself, you know.

ThundercatHo January 17, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Thank you, that's what I came here for.

teebob2000 January 17, 2012 at 3:52 pm

'E's buggered off!

unclejeems January 17, 2012 at 7:05 pm

I wish he's bring down the curtain and join the choir invisible.

fartknocker January 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm

That's fine Scotty. Go to NYC and suck on the balls of a former AIG executive who helped almost drive this nation into a depression. Just remember there are more of us than you.

Thanks Wonkette for the information. I just gleefully sent $25 to United Wisconsin to help them in recalling this turd.
http://www.unitedwisconsin.com/

Fuck you Scott Walker.

GOPCrusher January 17, 2012 at 2:43 pm

For the last year, we have had to listen to this sanctimonious piece of shit, tell the American public that he is doing the work of the people of Wisconsin that elected him. So when it becomes overwhelming obvious that he's going to be recalled by those same people, he runs to New York to raise funds to try to defeat the recall measure?

Yeah. Fuck you Scott Walker.

MrFizzy January 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm

He's off to render a frontal massage to a Koch.

ManchuCandidate January 17, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Happy endings for everyone! Except Walker.

Fare la Volpe January 17, 2012 at 2:03 pm

And us.

SorosBot January 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm

It's good to see Walker proving himself to be the cowardly man-of-the-plutocrats he is.

prommie January 17, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Dueling Pythons, its a beautiful thing.

teebob2000 January 17, 2012 at 3:52 pm

My favorite gay pron video series.

YouBetcha January 17, 2012 at 1:58 pm

"Hello, Former Governor Palin? This is Governor Walker. Do you have a few minutes? I'd like to pick your brain."

FNMA January 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Slim pickin's there.

jus_wonderin January 17, 2012 at 2:20 pm

A few minutes? Did you forget the nano part of that?

Toomush_Infer January 17, 2012 at 2:32 pm

with mini chopsticks…

Callyson January 17, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I read that as "I'd like to fuck your brain."
Which also makes sense…

PsycWench January 17, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Only if he's thinking about quitting. Then she's a fountain of information.

JustPixelz January 17, 2012 at 3:21 pm

SP: Now Scotty, when you go to yer Fox job interview, be sure to say you want to speak for the Real Americans™.
SW: Where do you get your flag covered luxury buses?
SP: Todd has a friend. And before you ask, she's not a hooker.
SW: I want to call my book "Buy This to Prove You're Patriotic"
SP: Too late there, Scotty. I already registered that one.

prommie January 17, 2012 at 1:59 pm

How much of the Wisconsin public workers' pension money is invested with AIG now?

SorosBot January 17, 2012 at 2:02 pm

All of 'em, Katie?

MissTaken January 17, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I thought you were supposed to shoot Walkers in the head to stop them?

Fare la Volpe January 17, 2012 at 2:05 pm

"Remove the head or destroy the brain. It's the only way to be sure."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Callyson January 17, 2012 at 2:34 pm

If I knew Dick Cheney, I'd ask him, since he's the expert on such matters.

nounverb911 January 17, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Quick, someone put Walker on a TSA watchlist.

Schmannnity January 17, 2012 at 2:01 pm

It is hard to imagine that the state that gave us William Proxmire is author of this little shit.

CrunchyKnee January 17, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I think Walker is more of a shit sandwich than a turd.

mrblifil January 17, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Why the fuck would Hank Greenberg be invested in the political future of Scott Walker? Except for the luxury of knowing how big an asshole backing Walker would make him. It would be nice to think that Scott somehow knows where some bodies are buried, and is in the process of becoming an avenging demon calling in all chits. But I think they've been aware all along that the anti-union shit would lead to a recall. How could it be otherwise? So…kabuki?

ManchuCandidate January 17, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Wall St likes to hang out with people they perceive as tough. Explains why they love sports types, generals and fake movie tough guys. Walker beats up teachers and other gubbiment employees. So he's in the pantheon of tough.

The problem is that Wall St doesn't know what's real or a Golden Sacker shower so that is why Walker Koch Blocker is there.

Negropolis January 18, 2012 at 3:29 am

I wonder the same thing. Walker's ass is grass. Wall Street usually don't go all in on known losers, regardless of the party/

Barb January 17, 2012 at 2:03 pm

"The roads are slick?'
Hopefully, slick enough for Scott Walker to slide under a gasoline truck and taste his own arterial spray.

jus_wonderin January 17, 2012 at 2:21 pm

And…burn his tongue.

JustPixelz January 17, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Then the Kochs will have no use for him.

OkieDokieDog January 17, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I signed an online petition to recall Walker and I live in hellhole Oklahoma. oops. Don't tell James Dildo O'Keefe!

GOPCrusher January 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm

So, it seems the person that O'Keefe was trying to use to commit voter fraud in New Hampshire is actually still alive. So they even fucked up the attempt to commit voter fraud using a dead person.

Loaded_Pants January 17, 2012 at 5:17 pm

His gang aren't really up for researching things, are they? Like making sure you're not using a living person's name, basic NH voter laws, or anything else for that matter. It's like they think they're above such things & are driven by some sort of agenda or sumthin'.

glamourdammerung January 17, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Contrary to what paultards believe, online recalls and votes do not count in the real world.

SayItWithWookies January 17, 2012 at 2:05 pm

That wasn't the only thing Scott Walker was doing today — he was on Rush's show just a little while ago, and when Rush went off about Democrats committing voter fraud by signing petitions with Mickey Mouse, etc., Walker — whose previous office is embroiled in an FBI investigation — pretended Rush's leading question wasn't even there and decided to talk about unions and out-of-state money instead. It was precious.

slowhansolo January 17, 2012 at 2:05 pm

A profile in courage!

Fare la Volpe January 17, 2012 at 2:05 pm

"Who are these plebians, and why do we let them vote?"

ALIVE! January 17, 2012 at 8:33 pm

"The peasants are revolting!"

MzNicky January 17, 2012 at 10:06 pm

"You said it! They stink on ice!"
One of my favorite Mel Brooks movie lines.

Baconzgood January 17, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Carefull the roads are slick……How can he not lose with amazing rhetoric like that. He's a gifted orator. Just ask the Kochs how well he sucks their dicks.

Goonemeritus January 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I think it is unfair that Governor Walker should have to put up with all this folderol funded by out of State activist money. I’m sure he wouldn’t be doing a fundraiser out of state that would be hypocritical of him; he must be taking in a Broadway show or visiting a sick friend.

GOPCrusher January 17, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Besides, the petitions were only signed by illegal immigrants.

starfanglednut January 17, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Do you know who else loves show tunes?

DaRooster January 17, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Hank Greenberg knows a lot about horses, I enjoy his coverage and knowledge on ESPN… maybe that's why he is helping Walker… the horses ass.

MzNicky January 17, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Um — raising funds for WHAT? Is Walker going to run for governor of Wisconsin again after he's thrown out by popular demand?

GOPCrusher January 17, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Scott Walker/Sarah Palin 2016!

Mariecohn January 17, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Legal defence fund?

OneYieldRegular January 17, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Cheese it, governor! There's an angry mob outside!

lefty74 January 17, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I unclog my nose at you Wanker. I fart in jour general direction.
You are such an ignorant wiper of the Koch brothers asses. Your mother
was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

fartknocker January 17, 2012 at 2:23 pm

And you sir are so blessed to throw thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at Scott Walker.

MissTaken January 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm

“Be careful today. The roads are slick.”

Translation – I'm so crossing my fingers that the big rig that is lugging all those recall petitions slides off the road into a frozen lake never to be seen from again.

SorosBot January 17, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Hell he's probably got his hired goons ready to make that happen.

veritass January 17, 2012 at 2:23 pm

$2,500 per person or $5,000 per couple? What a deal! I should make sure to bring my significant other so that I can get the discount!

starfanglednut January 17, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Dammit, you beat me to it!

actor212 January 17, 2012 at 2:27 pm

“Be careful today. The roads are slick.”

TRANSLATION:

That's a nice crate-o-petitions you got there. Would be a shame if it ended up in a ditch.

orygoon January 17, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Please somebody tell me again why Hank Greenberg is not a pauper, and in prison?

GOPCrusher January 17, 2012 at 2:55 pm

He was the only one available that could save AIG from the brink of economic destruction.

Callyson January 17, 2012 at 2:36 pm

“Be careful today. The roads are slick.”
That's OK Scotty–they are not as slick as the politicos who sold Wisconsin a bag of goods, while claiming to be job creators…

hagajim January 17, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Scott Walker is a useless piece of Krap owned in whole by a bunch of Koch – do you expect he'd do anything but run to one of the sleeziest dickholes in the world for $$$. What a whore!

meatlofer January 17, 2012 at 2:47 pm

First theTitanic and now this? Greenberg, Iceberg ,they are all the same .

Baconzgood January 17, 2012 at 2:48 pm

RUN AWAY!!

slowhansolo January 17, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Look at the BONES!!

tihond January 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm

*Puts pinkie to mouth* ONE MILLION SIGNATURES

Monsieur_Grumpe January 17, 2012 at 2:55 pm

"more than 3,000 pounds’ worth of petitions" delivered. I hear there were armed men from the prison guard union that volunteered to help with the delivery

comrad_darkness January 17, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Wait, GOOD NEWS? What the hell am I supposed to do with GOOD NEWS??

actor212 January 17, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Brave Scott Walker ran away
Bravely, ran away…away…
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, brave Scott Walker turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely talking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, Scott Walker

JustPixelz January 17, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Makes Newt's inability to collect the measly 10,000 signatures to get on the Virginia primary ballot kinda [snicker, snicker] an important predictor of his executive skills. Oh, I FORGOT. He blamed "one guy" who Newt alleges committed fraud. Outwitting The Smartest Man in the Republican Party! Obama/One Guy/2012!

GOPCrusher January 17, 2012 at 4:57 pm

And Rick Perry is telling a Federal judge to order Virginia to let him on the ballot.

DahBoner January 17, 2012 at 3:19 pm

“Be careful today. The roads Republicans are slick.”

Fixed….

chicken_thief January 17, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I can't wait to see how much money – from both sides, is spent on this election. Should we start a pool to see where it ends up in relation to the amount spent in the 2010 Walker victory?

I'll go with pi – 3.14 x 2010$$$

JustPixelz January 17, 2012 at 3:23 pm

As they say on the bumper stickers: "If you can sign a recall petition, thank a teacher."

Sharkey January 17, 2012 at 3:58 pm

The roads are slick and the slope is slippery, so we've been told. And don't skate on thin ice, in glass houses where rocks are being thrown.

ttommyunger January 17, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Gosh, too bad he didn't flee to Georgia: that would allow me the fantasy of potentially running into him at a gas station rest-room where I could fulfill my dream of pulling his upper lip down around his knees, kicking a mudhole in his ass then kicking it dry. I feel better just thinking about it.

Steverino247 January 17, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Better than taking your meds as there's no side effects to kicking the shit out of him (as long as you run like hell after doing so, of course).

ttommyunger January 19, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Maybe a sore foot. I can live with that a few days.

BZ1 January 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Scottie, it's not just the roads that are slick (take a look in the mirror)

lochnessmonster January 17, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I received this at lunch…the headline made me LOL so I had to read it to my lunch mates…what a ridiculous pasty man.

thisdavo January 17, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Have you seen this?
http://defendwisconsin.blogspot.com/2012/01/scott

A pro-Walker billboard, touting his job creation in WI (um, false), overlooking the GM plant in Janesville, the closing of which devastated the economy in that town. I'm told by the person who posted the video that the billboard was taken down two hours after his video went viral.

undeadgoat January 17, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Those fuckers do NOT know how to spin. 1.9 million, a.k.a. nearly TWO million, over a THIRD of the TOTAL population of the state, including minors, noncitizens and the incarcerated. I guess they’re afraid of claiming high numbers and then some will be ineligible, but I used to study physics and to me anything 1.6 million and up is “nearly two million.”

Negropolis January 18, 2012 at 3:20 am

Honestly, how much of a whore is this guy? It's hard to believe someone like him could have become governor in the first place.

“Be careful today. The roads are slick.”

Back at you, you whore.

How existential and metaphysical of you. Yes; yes they are, guvnah. Yes, they are, indeed.

starfanglednut January 17, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Was it a honey badger? they don't give a shit.

Extemporanus January 17, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Um, "Coburn", not "Corburn", obviously.

I seem to have Wisconsin should-be-governor Tom Corbett on my mind for some reason…

Nothingisamiss January 17, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I enjoyed this wonkette vingette. ++++ for advice at the end.

Extemporanus January 17, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I'm pretty sure that this badass motherfucker shit honey badgers.

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