Scott Walker Bravely Flees Wisconsin on Recall Petition Deadline Day

  sounds about right

Let the flushing commence!

Organizers of Wisconsin’s effort to recall remorseless demon Scott Walker from office are said to be dumping three thousand pounds of petition signatures off with election officials today per the collection deadline, hooray! Scott Walker is taking the news exactly like the comical cartoon villain that he is, and he immediately flew to New York City to hide/sob among his only friends, filthy aging kleptocrats. And, of course, to beg for their money. UPDATE: Bwahahahaha, recall organizers just announced they are turning in ONE MILLION SIGNATURES, twice as many as are needed to force a recall election and nearly one quarter of the state’s entire voting population.

From Mother Jones:

Tuesday’s Walker fundraiser, first reported by the New York Daily News, is hosted by no less than Hank Greenberg, the former CEO of American International Group, the global insurance corporation that needed $150 billion in bailout funds in 2008 and 2009 from the Treasury Department and Federal Reserve. The cost of attending is $2,500 per person or $5,000 per couple.

So, does the evil prince have anything at all to say to the lowly peasants of Wisconsin in defense of his honor on this, the day the reckoning commenced?

Uh, let’s check his Twitter feed for the official reaction: “Be careful today. The roads are slick.”

Ha ha, that’s all he’s got because he is a lousy thug: STAY HOME, everyone, if you know what is good for you. [MoJo/ Wisconsin State Journal]

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130 comments

  1. Chillwillard

    Pussy!

    On an unrelated note, I'm glad to know that tax-payer founded PBS is advertising on Wonkette. How long until we see one of the Breitard sites scream "Defund Wonkit!!1!!1!"?

  2. orygoon

    AIG, oh yeah. I got my retirement-account pittance from my first job transferred out of their VALIC creature, finally, and I feel very good about this.

    1. Toomush_Infer

      Yeah, me too – though now they contact me a lot more often than for the 11 years my job required me to keep them…

    2. Toomush_Infer

      Wait!…upon reflection, didn't Valic position itself heavily as a state employees retirement pension fund manager???? And if AIG is helping out Scott Walker's effort to kill state unions, where does that leave Valic? Is there more to this….?

  3. SmutBoffin

    If he gets recalled, he can always apply for the "Secretary of Child Labor" opening in the Gingrich administration.

    1. Mahousu

      Alas, he'd never have a chance. Too many other Republicans jockeying for the opportunity to say, "Look, son, you want a job, right?"

  4. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Maybe the Saudis will take him in and allow him to live out his life in a little mansion by the Red Sea?

    Isn't that what usually happens?

  5. freakishlywrong

    Shorter Scott Walker, (and all teapublican Guvners); "Does this asshole make my ass look big?"

      1. doloras

        Nah, Ceausescu stayed and tried to tough it out, which is why he was the only Stalinist dictator to get shot rather than end life in exile, jail or the leader of a very minor political party.

        So: Erich Honecker.

    1. thisdavo

      Willard Romney, when he decided that running for reelection in Mass. might not be such a great idea.

          1. Extemporanus

            As my Pennsyltuckian grandpa used to say, "Patience, son — even a short bus gets there eventually."

            Speaking of grandpa, when I was about ten or so and visiting him in little ol' Shiremanstown, PA, I was poking around like usual in the tiny woods behind his house when I suddenly found myself face to face with a very, very pissed-off albino (?!) fucking badger!

            HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH!!

            We're it not for the fact that dude obviously sensed that I was from Wisconsin, I'm quite certain that my term as living human would've been immediately recalled.

            (TRUE STORY!)

            So, my advice to y'all is this:

            Steal a Corburn campaign sign from the front yard of one of your idiot neighbors, track down that angry old albino badger, just cold shove the sign in his stump or hole or whatever, run like hell, and then sit back and watch as Nature takes its bloody course.

          2. Extemporanus

            Um, "Coburn", not "Corburn", obviously.

            I seem to have Wisconsin should-be-governor Tom Corbett on my mind for some reason…

        1. MissTaken

          Don't forget, it was through the recall process that we got stuck with the Governator/Domestic Help Fornicator, Ahnold.

          Recalls aren't always a good thing.

          1. SorosBot

            True, although Arnold actually looks good compared to today's Republican governors, lovechild and all.

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    Wisconsinites should check and see if the good silverware is still present at the Governor's Mansion. If not, I might suggest that he won't be returning. SO LONG, SUCKERS, SEE YOU IN COSTA RICA!!

  7. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You would think that someone in the Walker office would have thought about a better visual for today…, like feasting on the bodies of orphan children or something.

  8. ManchuCandidate

    Brave Scott Walker ran away.
    Bravely ran away, away!
    When Democracy reared its cheezy head,
    He bravely turned his tail and fled.
    Yes, brave Scott Walker turned about
    And gallantly he chickened out.
    Bravely taking to his feet
    He beat a very brave retreat,
    Bravest of the brave, Scott Walker!

  9. fartknocker

    That's fine Scotty. Go to NYC and suck on the balls of a former AIG executive who helped almost drive this nation into a depression. Just remember there are more of us than you.

    Thanks Wonkette for the information. I just gleefully sent $25 to United Wisconsin to help them in recalling this turd.
    http://www.unitedwisconsin.com/

    Fuck you Scott Walker.

    1. GOPCrusher

      For the last year, we have had to listen to this sanctimonious piece of shit, tell the American public that he is doing the work of the people of Wisconsin that elected him. So when it becomes overwhelming obvious that he's going to be recalled by those same people, he runs to New York to raise funds to try to defeat the recall measure?

      Yeah. Fuck you Scott Walker.

  10. YouBetcha

    "Hello, Former Governor Palin? This is Governor Walker. Do you have a few minutes? I'd like to pick your brain."

      1. JustPixelz

        SP: Now Scotty, when you go to yer Fox job interview, be sure to say you want to speak for the Real Americans™.
        SW: Where do you get your flag covered luxury buses?
        SP: Todd has a friend. And before you ask, she's not a hooker.
        SW: I want to call my book "Buy This to Prove You're Patriotic"
        SP: Too late there, Scotty. I already registered that one.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      "Remove the head or destroy the brain. It's the only way to be sure."

      -Martin Luther King Jr.

  11. Schmannnity

    It is hard to imagine that the state that gave us William Proxmire is author of this little shit.

  12. mrblifil

    Why the fuck would Hank Greenberg be invested in the political future of Scott Walker? Except for the luxury of knowing how big an asshole backing Walker would make him. It would be nice to think that Scott somehow knows where some bodies are buried, and is in the process of becoming an avenging demon calling in all chits. But I think they've been aware all along that the anti-union shit would lead to a recall. How could it be otherwise? So…kabuki?

    1. ManchuCandidate

      Wall St likes to hang out with people they perceive as tough. Explains why they love sports types, generals and fake movie tough guys. Walker beats up teachers and other gubbiment employees. So he's in the pantheon of tough.

      The problem is that Wall St doesn't know what's real or a Golden Sacker shower so that is why Walker Koch Blocker is there.

    2. Negropolis

      I wonder the same thing. Walker's ass is grass. Wall Street usually don't go all in on known losers, regardless of the party/

  13. Barb

    "The roads are slick?'
    Hopefully, slick enough for Scott Walker to slide under a gasoline truck and taste his own arterial spray.

  14. OkieDokieDog

    I signed an online petition to recall Walker and I live in hellhole Oklahoma. oops. Don't tell James Dildo O'Keefe!

    1. GOPCrusher

      So, it seems the person that O'Keefe was trying to use to commit voter fraud in New Hampshire is actually still alive. So they even fucked up the attempt to commit voter fraud using a dead person.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        His gang aren't really up for researching things, are they? Like making sure you're not using a living person's name, basic NH voter laws, or anything else for that matter. It's like they think they're above such things & are driven by some sort of agenda or sumthin'.

  15. SayItWithWookies

    That wasn't the only thing Scott Walker was doing today — he was on Rush's show just a little while ago, and when Rush went off about Democrats committing voter fraud by signing petitions with Mickey Mouse, etc., Walker — whose previous office is embroiled in an FBI investigation — pretended Rush's leading question wasn't even there and decided to talk about unions and out-of-state money instead. It was precious.

  16. Baconzgood

    Carefull the roads are slick……How can he not lose with amazing rhetoric like that. He's a gifted orator. Just ask the Kochs how well he sucks their dicks.

  17. Goonemeritus

    I think it is unfair that Governor Walker should have to put up with all this folderol funded by out of State activist money. I’m sure he wouldn’t be doing a fundraiser out of state that would be hypocritical of him; he must be taking in a Broadway show or visiting a sick friend.

  18. DaRooster

    Hank Greenberg knows a lot about horses, I enjoy his coverage and knowledge on ESPN… maybe that's why he is helping Walker… the horses ass.

  19. MzNicky

    Um — raising funds for WHAT? Is Walker going to run for governor of Wisconsin again after he's thrown out by popular demand?

  20. lefty74

    I unclog my nose at you Wanker. I fart in jour general direction.
    You are such an ignorant wiper of the Koch brothers asses. Your mother
    was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

  21. MissTaken

    “Be careful today. The roads are slick.”

    Translation – I'm so crossing my fingers that the big rig that is lugging all those recall petitions slides off the road into a frozen lake never to be seen from again.

  22. veritass

    $2,500 per person or $5,000 per couple? What a deal! I should make sure to bring my significant other so that I can get the discount!

  23. actor212

    “Be careful today. The roads are slick.”

    TRANSLATION:

    That's a nice crate-o-petitions you got there. Would be a shame if it ended up in a ditch.

  24. Callyson

    “Be careful today. The roads are slick.”
    That's OK Scotty–they are not as slick as the politicos who sold Wisconsin a bag of goods, while claiming to be job creators…

  25. hagajim

    Scott Walker is a useless piece of Krap owned in whole by a bunch of Koch – do you expect he'd do anything but run to one of the sleeziest dickholes in the world for $$$. What a whore!

  26. Monsieur_Grumpe

    "more than 3,000 pounds’ worth of petitions" delivered. I hear there were armed men from the prison guard union that volunteered to help with the delivery

  27. actor212

    Brave Scott Walker ran away
    Bravely, ran away…away…
    When danger reared its ugly head
    He bravely turned his tail and fled
    Yes, brave Scott Walker turned about
    And gallantly he chickened out
    Bravely talking to his feet
    He beat a very brave retreat
    Bravest of the brave, Scott Walker

  28. JustPixelz

    Makes Newt's inability to collect the measly 10,000 signatures to get on the Virginia primary ballot kinda [snicker, snicker] an important predictor of his executive skills. Oh, I FORGOT. He blamed "one guy" who Newt alleges committed fraud. Outwitting The Smartest Man in the Republican Party! Obama/One Guy/2012!

  29. chicken_thief

    I can't wait to see how much money – from both sides, is spent on this election. Should we start a pool to see where it ends up in relation to the amount spent in the 2010 Walker victory?

    I'll go with pi – 3.14 x 2010$$$

  30. Sharkey

    The roads are slick and the slope is slippery, so we've been told. And don't skate on thin ice, in glass houses where rocks are being thrown.

  31. ttommyunger

    Gosh, too bad he didn't flee to Georgia: that would allow me the fantasy of potentially running into him at a gas station rest-room where I could fulfill my dream of pulling his upper lip down around his knees, kicking a mudhole in his ass then kicking it dry. I feel better just thinking about it.

    1. Steverino247

      Better than taking your meds as there's no side effects to kicking the shit out of him (as long as you run like hell after doing so, of course).

  32. lochnessmonster

    I received this at lunch…the headline made me LOL so I had to read it to my lunch mates…what a ridiculous pasty man.

  33. thisdavo

    Have you seen this?
    http://defendwisconsin.blogspot.com/2012/01/scott

    A pro-Walker billboard, touting his job creation in WI (um, false), overlooking the GM plant in Janesville, the closing of which devastated the economy in that town. I'm told by the person who posted the video that the billboard was taken down two hours after his video went viral.

  34. undeadgoat

    Those fuckers do NOT know how to spin. 1.9 million, a.k.a. nearly TWO million, over a THIRD of the TOTAL population of the state, including minors, noncitizens and the incarcerated. I guess they’re afraid of claiming high numbers and then some will be ineligible, but I used to study physics and to me anything 1.6 million and up is “nearly two million.”

  35. Negropolis

    Honestly, how much of a whore is this guy? It's hard to believe someone like him could have become governor in the first place.

    “Be careful today. The roads are slick.”

    Back at you, you whore.

    How existential and metaphysical of you. Yes; yes they are, guvnah. Yes, they are, indeed.

Comments are closed.