Famous sleazeball John Edwards still cannot quite yet stand trial for the million or so dollars in alleged campaign finance violations he racked up during his failed 2008 bid to get America to elect him President before they realized he was screwing around on his cancer-stricken wife, because he has some kind of life-threatening mystery ailment that requires an operation and is apparently more serious than a “hair emergency” or whatever you would immediately imagine to yourself if you heard that John Edwards was claiming he was too ill to attend his own trial.
The AP reports that at least he didn’t try to fake a coma:
A cardiologist for the 58-year-old ex-North Carolina senator wrote two letters about his condition to Judge Catherine Eagles, who talked about them Friday during a hearing to consider whether the trial would go on later this month. She delayed it until at least March 26.
Edwards walked into the courtroom in Greensboro without assistance and appeared healthy. The judge requested that he be there.
Hear from you next in the Cayman Islands, Johnny, or wherever it is you turn up in exile! [AP]
{ 633 comments }
John now living over in the sick America?
some kind of life-threatening mystery ailment
A conscience?
If my conscience threatened my life, I'd shoot it in the head without a second thought.
oops!
They are going to surgically remove the meager vestiges of conscience.
It metastasized very swiftly, then. I don't remember him having it when his wife died, what was that, last year?
Tagg. You're it.
AAAAH~!~~!! NO! You didn't! You BASTARD!!
And me so trusting and everything, I even clicked that linky.
Oh, man, I hate you so much, right now.
Ew. Is that thing real?
A face only a mother could love.
I'm tempted to poke it hard with a sharp pin to find out.
Something wrong with his heart?
Oh, wait.
No, the heartbreak of psoriasis.
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Step right up
I thought they removed consciences when you passed the bar?
Haha, John Edwards might die.
Probably already late with this one, but maybe the surgeon plans to give the bastard a heart?
Can't be done. If there's no heart, obvs, there's no network of blood vessels leading to, from, etc. Therefore NO CAN DO, LOR!
He's terminally handsome.
and has a nasty reputation as a cru-el dude
Aaaarrrrgggghhh, the Eagles! Thanx, now I have to spray Raid in my ears.
Take it easy.
Yeah, really. Have a few shots of tequila and by sunrise you should have that peaceful easy feeling, Desperado.
To be fair, i fudged the lyrics. "He" should be brutally handsome. I actually saw an interview where fucking Henley bragged about that shit saying it made him stop and think every time because it was such a sick lyric. THAT guy is a fucking dipshit.
Yeah, she was terminally pretty, but it was worth the fudge.
Somebody's gonna hurt someone, before the night is through.
Somebody's gonna get hurt.
He's too sexy for that court. Too Sexy!12
but there's a new kid in town.
He's the first ever artificial heart donor. I bet he's still healthy enough to fuck that horse-faced Rielle Hunter.
Maybe Haley Barbour can pardon him?
He needs Elizabeth's forgiveness. And he'll never get it.
I'm still trying to understand how he could hit a dying woman, his wife of 30+ years, and the mother of his children.
He hit her? wtf, how did I miss that.
I don't know, but this was close to the end of her life. Apparently, they got into an argument and she reached for her cellphone. He knocked it out of her hand. She might have hit him first, but still. You NEVER raise a hand to your wife, and not especially your sick, dying wife. The police were called, a report was filed, and I believe she filed for divorce immediately after the incident. I think HuffPoo carried the story, as did NY Post and Nat'l Enquirer, Your Source of All Things John Edwards.
Hit, metaphorically? As in, kicked her when she was down? If he actually raised a hand to her, he deserves a beatdown.
Not a metaphorical one.
He actually hit her. There is no way that he did not know that she was sick and dying at the time. I think she was holding back on filing for divorce until that point. That's when she threw him out of the house and filed the papers.
His kids are probably still p.o.'d on some level, too.
Those poor kids have been through nine different kinds of hell already. Lost a brother in a car crash when they were just babies, and then their mother's terrible illness and the last awful years of her life while Edwards revealed himself to be the scumbag that I suppose he's always been. It's heartbreaking when a good woman falls in love with a creep. You know how, if the creep's *your* friend, you're always looking at him and thinking, damn, no man sunk so low that he cain't find a woman or a dog to love him. And if SHE's your friend, you're looking at her and thinking, damn, girl, they left out a piece of the brain when they made you.
Love is blind.
And also deaf, and dumb, and wheelchair-bound tied to a bed post with cigarette burns on its skin.
…not that I'm bitter or anything.
"Elizabeth's forgiveness. And he'll never get it."
Nor should he (have).
Barbour only pardons folks that murder their wife/girlfriend/etc.
That there's 'family values', chile.
Unlike most of Americans he can afford whatever treatment is called for. But karma is still a bitch.
"The public has an interest in a speedy trial," Eagles said from the bench. "Ordinarily, I would try to manage something like this. But clearly there are some limitations on Mr. Edwards due to real and serious health issues."
But he's had those problems for a long time now…
…oh, you meant *physical* health issues. Never mind…
Chronic narcissism.
Seems to be an epidemic. Too bad there's no vaccine.
lol. second amendment vaccine. sorry, that's mean.
update: then i saw your profile quote. i'll just carry on.
I wouldn't want to inhibit you.
Did you see this:
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/01/13/40391…
That's why I chose my profile quote. That and Palin, Coulter, Limbaugh, 'Obama Bucks', Obama-with-a-bone-through-his-nose pictures, Obama family photoshopped on chimps' bodies…
I bet he caught it from that cheating bitch he cheated with.
♪♫ Yer Cheatin' heart
Will make you weep,
You'll cry and cry,
You sleezy creep,
But the reap will come,
And slice you right through,
Your cheatin heart, will tell on you…♫♪
Niiiiice one.
Speaking of whom, did she DTMFA? Not that I'm sympathetic to her, but I haven't seen her standing by her man lately…
I'm sure she was better at riding on her man.
Not too long ago, Twitter was rife with gossip about her holidaying in Hollywood looking up ex-boyfriends and such. So, yeah, it sounds like one of them dumped the other, not sure of the order of the ordure.
On the cheatin' side of town.
He's an asshole so I'm betting it's got something to do with his prostate.
I was *gonna* say "you don't get heart attacks in your asshole," and then I remembered who we wuz talkin' about.
John Edwards 2016 he's proven and still sexually potent, can any of these Republicans pass that test?
No Goon. The Rethugs are much too impotent to take such tests.
Weejee, it looks like you're cycling through our Repiglicunt contenders yourself, in search of Teh Avatar. (checks new av, dusts off new tag)
Well MittBorg, I tried to go back to my olde Ouija avatar after it was clear there would be no blimping miracle. But then the freaking schmucknozzle Mittens went on & on about how he was a job creator during his daze at the corporate chop shop Bain Capital I just had get get out Photoshop one moar time. BTW, our WordPress cuzin Partisan Dawn has a couple of aperitifs on the Bain of Mittens.
Very nice. Thank you, weejee.
I'd put my money on Michelle Bachmann, though obviously we can't ask her husband to vouch for her sexy-time ardor.
I'm sure they can't — or at least, not with anyone who isn't a rent boy — but it sort of defeats the purpose to elect someone who is equally loathsome: Edwards/Gingrich 2016?
Andrew Young's book The Politician will tell you everything you ever wanted to know, and so much more than you wanted to know, about this sleazebag.
Meh. He always reminded me of a televangelist. His assumption that most if not all women (especially Southern women) would be charmed by him was his first mistake.
Back in the day, one of those morning shows interviewed Elizabeth Edwards, and the interviewer asked her, "What's it like to be married to a hunk?" Her answer: *shrug* "Meh, he's not *that* hot" *chuckles all around*
where's Haley Barbour when you need him?
What are "Things no one has ever said ever," Alex?
The little shit will probably have an excuse to miss his funeral, too.
Of course. He'll be seeing someone else's funeral.
He apparently missed his wife's, didn't he?
I'm findin' the Schadenfreude a little hard on this one, for purely personal reasons but here goes:
John Edwards has a Heart?
Who knew!
for the million or so dollars in alleged campaign finance violations he racked up during his failed 2008 bid to get America to elect him President before they realized he was screwing around on his cancer-stricken wife,
How much have we spent on Afghanistan since January, 2009? How much more before January, 2017 rolls around?
P.S. Please let me know when G.W. Bush, Dick Cheney, or Karl Rove face any legal consequences for what they've done to this country.
~
What is "Not until the Sun expands into a Red Giant and roasts the Earth sterile", Alex?
OK, but the Republicans are expected to be dangerous psychotics. Recent Democratic Party vice presidential candidates such as Lieberman and Edwards have been less than stellar, although admittedly they have caused only little lasting harm to the country. Let's just hope Biden doesn't put his foot too deep in his mouth (or anyone else's body part, for that matter) and has no particular skeleton in his closet.
if he goes through chemo i'll donate some pubes to make him a wig.
Nice thought, but he's already got a bushel basket full of pubes in the barn.
I choose to remember people for their good sides. For Edwards, that would be the view from the top.
That's $400 worth.
You would think Edwards would need a heart for a cardiologist to be of any use.
Hey John – phone call. Dude says he's the Mayor of Philadelphia with an important message for you.
Did he also "ask his doctor if he's healthy enough for sexual activity?"
"An erection lasting longer than eight years"?
I didn't realize asshole-ism was life threatening.
Just to the American people.
"asshole-ism was life threatening"
Don't we all wish!
Congress would have to be replaced overnight.
Like darkside Sith power, it eventually saps you in the end.
Can you chase your own ambulance?
He's a dog so I'm positive he can do it
If karma is real, he'll have breast cancer.
Better: Dick cancer.
Touché!
Karma sutures.
You can touché it if you want, but you can count me right out.
And, in hell, he'll be forced to eat nothing other than Karma Korn.
So his doctor says he's got life threatening heart condition. Big. Fucking. Deal. My doctor tells me that all the time. Quack, quack, quack.
Must be the hereditary condition; certainly not from environmental conditions in the MILL!
I heard he was going to get a pig heart. Same species so the transplant should go well.
Ah, the old "serious health ailment" excuse, right up there with "the dog ate my homework" and "I got a flat tire."
"Plane made an emergency landing on the highway."
"Wracked my vadge biking."
??
I thought one of those things you never forget how to do was riding a biker.
Tertiary syphilis.
The great imitator.
All that E has given him a mad case of the runs, ya'll
Maybe that wart/booger thingy that used to hang off of his lip grew back on his dick.
Is it true that John's will stipulates "Harder Than Your Husband" be played at his funeral?
I'd make a joke about how his life-threatening heart problem is actually not having a heart…but it seems that's been run into the ground already.
I would have some sympathy for him if he hadn't fucked around while his wife was dealing with cancer.
Periodically I still feel the odd twinge of sympathy for him. It can't be easy losing your child in a horrible accident. Then I remember what he did to Elizabeth, who was a fine woman, and who dealt with the same tragedy he did, but managed it so much better, and I think, fuck him.
Yeah, fuck him. The only people I have sympathy for are his kids. I'm sure the last thing they want to do is bury their father.
STATE'S EVIDENCE #4993: Audio during January 13, 2012 sidebar.
["Look, Cathy. Can I call you Cathy? The way I got it figgered is that Barry was just coolin' his heels for the first four, know what I mean? After November, he's got nuttin' to lose and *bang!* Done deal. Then how's about you and me dump this place and head down to that little island I bought wit da suckas' money? Whaddya say, toots?]
Oh, baddest of Users! I have received all those books you recommended. Of course, I realized immediately to whom I owe all these gratitudes. Thank you very much, dear Avian. Bearing your advice in mind, I have put them both down fairly far on the list. I wonder how you teach what you do and remain as sane as you appear to be.
Really, the 1491 book is, in the main, fascinating rather than morbid, though that part of the equation is undeniable. But Lexicon, well that's a whole other thing. It's reading those that makes me take two years off between teaching the Political Violence colloquium. If you want a sort of written 'After-Barbarity Mint', here's the one I use to keep the little weenies from going off the ledge:
Death of Somoza (1996) by Claire Alegria & Darwin Flakoll.
http://www.amazon.com/Death-Somoza-Claribel-Alegr…
You'll thank me for it afterwards, I promise.
I wish I could attend your Political Violence colloquium! Followed by two years of therapy, of course, but we must all pay for our pleasures.
This book sounds wonderful. I usually take the pressure off by reading the works of Wilfred Burchett, but he never wrote anything about Latin America that I can recall. Thank you very much, I shall thank you for it now and again after I receive it.
Well, well, well…looks like little Lisa Druck needs to wreck someone else's home while she still has some child bearing years left. I hate her more than Johnny; men are stupid & easily lured. Her interview with Oprah proved she was heartless & conniving.
All men are stupid and easily lured? Really?
What a relief, I thought it was just me.
Johnny made his bed. He couldn't keep his "two Americas" in his fuckin pants.
However, I'm hoping Karma also pays a visit to Druck after reading this: http://tinyurl.com/7blt6ec
Air-brush much?
Dozy cunt!!
(Thanks, Lizzie.)
The pantsless posing and her Harlequin romance narrative would be bad enough. But that she brought her daughter into that photo session and signed off on the rights to the photos (for how much I wonder) is beyond despicable.
They are?
Well, yes, I suppose they are. Pretty much most men will do ANYthing, and I do mean ANYthing, for a little hot-'n-sweaty action with the preferred gender. Women tend to take the long view, damn their pretty eyes.
So it's true. You live by the comb, you die by the comb.
Kind of like Rod Blagovich. He called his comb the "football" and was never without it.
Dems: did we dodge a bullet, or what?
Can you imagine if he had gotten the nomination in 2008? We'd be a heart attack away from having snowmobiles parked on the white house lawn.
Snowbilly would have gutted Walnuts with her stiletto the first week. We'd be bombing Olive Garden right now because they ran out of never-ending bread sticks.
True confession: I'm not sure I wouldn't co-sign that mission.
^^
^
+ 1000!
I'm not sure that bullet even ever left the chamber, even in 2004. The very last thing Dems wanted after Clinton was another Southern Dem with an accent, to be quite honest. I didn't think he had a chance in 2004, and by 2008 with the historic candidacies of Hillary and Obama, he was even more irrelevant.
Your circle of Dems is different than mine, but there were many progressives I knew who loved his "Two Americas" and quite a few Dems who didn't want to risk it with a "historic" candidate.
I liked him OK, I guess. I caucused for him, but my usually libertarian neighbors all decided he was a dick even then, and he was deemed not viable. I moved over to Team Obama and went to work…
His message was good, and much needed. But I detested him from the first second I laid eyes on him. My instincts said, "Creep! Creep! Creep!"
My instincts are usually pretty good about that sort of thing.
Part of a losing ticket in 2004, D.O.A. in 2008.
And didn't even deliver his own state in 2004, if I recall correctly. Which is one of the things a VP is chosen for.
It has nothing to do with circles, or whether anyone liked his message or not. He was never an electoral threat. Just look at the voting. He didn't catch on in 2004 (won 2 states), and didn't win a single state in 2008. After both Hillary and Obama got in, he was running for third place in most polls, and never above second in some state polls, if even that.
My only point was that even in his supposed heyday, he was an innocuous, second-tier, lightweight without a real path to winning a nomination. Great message, but from a second-rate messenger.
Um, Lieberman?
Yeah, and I actually voted for the guy. *Shudder*
Good god. I gave money too him too. *Retch*
I supported him too… —>sucker<—-
Look, don't beat yourself up over that. He was the ONLY candidate who even raised the issues of working class people. I wish we could forget him without throwing away the issues he brought up.
Yeah, the problems were totally personal.
Erase all of this awful personal shit, and I'd still trade them if I could at this point.
Geez. Another "me, too" from Jukesgrrl How could I not fall for that son of a millworker crap? But I draw the line at "grandson of a coal miner," even though I am the granddaughter of one. I can tell the difference between someone who is honestly honoring a parent and one who is using a poor dead guy. Anyway, my grandfather's hands were bigger and he didn't raise any misogynists. So there, Rickie!
we dodge a bullet but run straight into the path of a raging Gatling Gun ..
see : Bush Jr's 2nd term
Why, yes. Yes, we did.
John Edwards: At least he is not Joe Lieberman.
True – the only person who was seriously affected by Edward's asshole behavior was Elizabeth; Lieberman's behavior has affected the country as a whole.
Edwards walked into the courtroom in Greensboro without assistance
I hardly think that "borne by semi-clad teens on a litter made of gold and orphan bones" qualifies as "without assistance."
There you are, you little avian laugh factory.
Second that. Owls the fave.
Hope he's got the same heart doc that Cheney uses. That gal/guy is worth every penny!
Worth every penny that Haliburton can throw at him/her.
I fucking hate the Eagles.
The Dude
Ha ha ha! Eagles is just fattening him up so the grease fire will be bigger when she throws his ass in the blast furnace down at the mee-uhl.
Every Rookie Cop learns one thing early on: "You never fuck a woman who has less to lose than you do, PERIOD!" This pretty-boy is an attorney, a Presidential Contender, and dumber than a fucking box of rocks.
So, who does that leave, Hillary?
I wouldn't; not even with your dick.
As those of us who are not monogamous by nature have learned, if you're going to fuck around on your partner, you should only pick other reasonably happily married folks who don't want to end their relationships, or people who are happily in open marriages. Those people won't out you because they have no reason to. They have just as much to lose as you do if the shit hits the fan.
so where exactly does that put perry?
I know where I'd like to put him.
I thought it was, "Never fuck anyone who is crazier than you", but yours is good, too.
That one would leave the field wide-open for me, Tess.
Girl, how the HAIL you expect to have yourself any fun if you're not gonna fuck the crazies?
Some of us are definitely OUT of the drama market. No crazy for me, thanks.
John, Move to France. No extradition treaty, and the French diet is good for heart health.
And you can trade war stories with Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
And Romney.
And Roman Polanski.
And Francois Mitterrand.
They won't look down on your baby mama either. In fact Madame I Slept With Rock Stars might even invite her for tea.
The GOP is looking for a great white televangelist savior asshole. Belly up to the Bacon and butter bar Johnny. The GOP awaits
He was Newt after there was a Newt, after all.
Did he get better?
Sebastian Junger:
For the past 10 years, American children have absorbed these moral contradictions, and now they are fighting our wars. The video doesn’t surprise me, but it makes me incredibly sad — not just for them, but also for us. We will prosecute these men for desecrating the dead while maintaining that it is okay to torture the living.
I hope someone else knows how to explain that to our soldiers, because I don’t have the faintest idea.
~
A friend of mine said something similar yesterday. It's okay to kill them, torture them, & insult their religion. But pissing on their corpses is somehow over the line?
Americans do like to get worked up over our dirty little sex scandals. The soldiers murdering innocent civilians and then hoarding their body parts as trophies? Nothing to see here, move along…
SOP for war. In order to kill others, you have to believe they are worth killing. In other words, worthless, and thus, worthy of ridicule and debasement. If we were in a "justified" war of defense, if we drafted soldiers who didn't want to be there instead of using soldiers who joined out of economic desperation or love of violence, if we didn't elect politicians who use war to bolster their egos and bank accounts, we would still see these stories, just fewer of them.
One of the blessings and curses of our technological toys is that they are everywhere and you have no control over what they record once it hits the ethers so to speak. Rest fully assured that similar acts have happened in every war. The difference is that people who are not intimately linked to the events are observing them and viewing the action through the eyes of logic and decency which have no place in war. Not having been shot at in anger by anyone, it may be difficult to understand, but since I haven't been in their situation, I honestly cannot say I wouldn't do the same. War is truly evil, distilled.
Nothing trivial I hope.
Damn I wish I had said that.
The psychotic part of me thinks we should plug this bastard into Dick Cheney.
He'll still probably claim they've never met.
Is there another part of you?
Three maybe.
I look forward to The Four Faces of Mojopo.
Oh come on, boy, take your medicine like a man, oops, sorry.
One Life to Live, however, has died.
Are you a fan?
Children's Hospital, does that count?
Oh my!
To John Edwards, nothing is more serious than a hair emergency.
The only thing I feel bad about here is his children – especially the younger two. Is it worse if your dad is dying than if he's in prison? Tough call.
He lost those children (or will), psychologically, the minute he cheated on their mother and then continued the affair and even after her death. Not going to say they wouldn't miss them if he left them, but a huge part of him has already died for them, IMO. I pity the oldest child (Kate) the most; the little ones won't get the full kick in the gut until they are really old enough to understand what happened.
We all make mistakes, and some mistakes are worse than others, and some mistakes have consequences that play out long after the victim(s) offer the grace of forgiveness.
The child of the gold digger (who after all didn't ask to be born) is not really in for a happy life, either.
On the plus side, they have already been hired for a Lifetime mini-series
True. They've already suffered through the death of a sibling, the death of their mother, the hideous public scandal with their father, and now this.
No snark, Kirsten, but this is one of your best headlines, yet.
I think Radiodead just wrote a new song called Karma Lawyers.
That lip licking/smacking thing he did always creeped me out. No way I'd let him near my ladyparts no matter how good his hair-do.
Hey, Wonks! Just found out that living in NWOH is not a life sentence and we may have a choice on where to move. Any suggestions?
South-West Michigan?
No such place. We just call it Northern Indiana up here in Michigan. lol
Bayonne, NJ, is always nice. Well, not really.
Canada?
Great choice, I lived there for the past seven years and loved Toronto…not easy to immigrate to though.
Since May, I've been in Joplin, MO – we need you here to help rebuild.
The world is pretty much the same everywhere.
Really? How about the Congo?
Granted I've never been there, but have been to several African countries and on a day to day basis…pretty much the same. The differences come with the frequency of extraordinary events…Joplin has one bad tornado maybe a century…the frequency of devastating events is higher there, but day to day life probably very similar in many ways…it's a small world.
Somewhere more pronounceable, and with varied case?
Kepler 22b. Too far?
Baltimore, then. Hey, they have the National Aquarium and brew pubs.Also.
Hampden?
Hampden's a Go – if you don't mind the place exploding into Christmas lights yearly, and the Hon Fest. Mt. Washington is further out and more laid back. Federal Hill if you're a well connected Pro or the independently wealthy daughter of a recent POTUS.
Come here to CENTOH. Just be prepared to paint your car, house, children scarlet and grey and to give all of your spare change to Urban Meyer.
Toledo fuckin' libel!
See U N Toledo.
i hear texas is flourishing.
I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. And the drought here has been so bad that nothing has been flourishing.
Yes, but flourishing with what, exactly?
You have a way of cutting to the heart of the matter, N.
The Bay area is too nerdy and internetty, but Oregon is nice, (if you like "weather").
Well, parts of Oregon. Just as in my state of WA, once you get out of the urban areas you get a lot of aggressive self-damaging stoopid. But the countryside is nice.
There's no such thing as *too* nerdy/internetty.
Why would you want to leave North West Oahu?
Chairwoman Debbie is on Bill Maher right now…and wow, does she look uncomfortable!
BMW, just watched the show and I thought she was fine. But, that Alexandra Pelosi is so cool. Her bouyance and mannerisms are hawt.
She did a competent job, but looked really out of her element next to Bill Maher, who likes to smoke pot and swear every other word.
She should. To be chairperson of either of the two parties should make them sweat even within the comfort of their own homes. The entire job entails being the biggest bullshitter in America. It's a filthy job, but someone has to do it, I guess.
It's hard out there for a pimp.
Let's just hope she does a better job than lazy-ass loser Tim Kaine, who was AWOL for his entire tenure of FAIL as DNC Chair.
But at least he was not effectiv-er, Howard Dean.
Howard Dean rocked as DNC Chair in 2006 and 2008, and then they kicked him to the curb. I'm no DC insider, but it really seemed disrespectful and just plain dickish.
The guy whose most brilliant idea was a keychain that read "Don't give them the keys back." That Tim Kaine? Oy.
Oy gevalt. Yeah, that genius.
One of my (many) pet peeves is the non-stop mockery directed at Michael Steele, who, yes, was a goofball, but who won the House handily and almost took the Senate. And zero mockery or even mention of Tim Kaine. Where the fuck was he for two years?
DWS had better be on the J-O-B. We really can't survive more Republicans. (We can barely survive the f-ing Democrats.)
That's okay, as long as she keeps doing this:
“Mitt Romney, I think, is more of a job cremator than a job creator,” Schultz said.
Flagrantly unrelated but True Story from one of this week's physical therapy sessions: I'm face down, being pummeled, when an obviously older white guy comes in. It's the Day After NH and AARPie says, "Mitt Romney won, you know. (?!) I don't trust him though. I was leaning toward that Santorium fella, but [utterly flabbergasted] I heard he got a million dollars for his campaign! [existential sigh] Guess they're all owned by the corporations."
So in the span of one paragraph, Cranky-American manages to: 1) make the prick from PA sound like a place to which retards or lepers or retarded lepers are banished; 2) re-imagine Dr. Evil as an Ozark Everyman; and 3) place himself directly on the impact point of a 17-Ton No Shit? Satellite whose orbit has fatally decayed.
I totally live for this shit.
p.s.
crematorium :: crematoria
santorium :: santoria
This is the precise situation for which the Dope Slap was invented.
Wait until he finds out that politicians SPONGE OFF THE HARDWORKING TAXPAYERS ZOMG
At least this gentleman is capable of such a realization. It's depressing the percentage of Americans who can't even make that inductive leap.
And here in my peaceful little hometown, I am treated to the sight of LaRouchies having their asses royally kicked by gawd and everybody for schlepping around a giant poster of the Prez with a Hitler moustache.
I'm am so not even VISITING that state.
They are here, in my little liberal college town, visually assaulting children and offending adults.
But I also saw them (with their Obama as Hitler posters, of course), in Union Square in San Francisco!
I love to think about the militant, serious and hopefully dangerous, ass-kicking they got there!
What I like to say to such creatures (sorry C R Eature) is "I know! They are all crooks and liars. I never vote no more. It doesn't do no good anyways." I consider it an election cycle well-lived if I can convince one yahoo not to vote.
For a sweet and charming lady, you sure can be mean and horrible, darling. (kisses the girl)
"Huh?" Eyes open, head ears go up."Oh! S'okay, we good" *Yawn*. Stretches Luxuriously. Head goes down (*Thump*), eyes close.
"Snorrrrrk"
Dewey, that is a great line. Let' hope it catches traction. It works on several levels. First off, it decimates the stupid "job creator" instead of "rich" idea. I've despised, but made snark of, that insipid euphemism since its inception less than two years ago. Secondly, the statement rings of truth, from a politician nonetheless. That's probably why it's funny as well. Third, where did she get it? It is totally Wonkette.
So let's propagate the meme.
All it's missing is an "AMIRITE?" at the end, and it's totally Wonket.
It's great to see a politician (especially when it's one of ours) deliver snark like this, and it's the best kind of wordplay, too — almost effortless in its insertion of a single letter to completely invert the meaning of the phrase, demolishing one meme while creating another.
JOB CREMATORS! (for the benefit of google rankings). It's in the TPM headline, so a few more links to/searches on should elevate it pretty quickly.
I totally "AMIRITED" it on twitter. Hopefully, the twittertwats will tweet it into the twattersphere.
Hey Dewey, I found out where the phrase came from. It was a comment on a Krugman column from Dec. 9, 2011.
RS Philadelphia area
FLAG
Job Cremators is more accurate than Job Creators.
Dec. 9, 2011 at 4:54 p.m
Frank Luntz is very worried.
My only worry is that some anti-Semite makes some Holocaust joke.
Actually, maybe I shouldn't be worried. Maybe, that was the whole point.
OK, so who's THAT av, ntD?
It's a self-portrait, generated with the MadMenYourself utility.
Aren't you just the cutest little thang!
How's the Special Girl today, btw? Did she suffer greatly over the destringing tantrum?
Is
103104 replies a record of some sort?I think some troll invasion threads have gone further, but that's about it.
Okay, what the fuck?
A cardiologist for the 58-year-old ex-North Carolina senator wrote two letters…
One for each America?
I am thinking that a just ending to this would be that he and Santorum die on the same day, and are thus irrevocably connected for all of eternity. Sort of like one of those, you know, Sartre plays.
if i could, i would give you a thousand p's for that.
Like when Dominick Dunne died on the same day as Ted Kennedy?
I'd settle for Santorum dying, preferably in some sort of embarassing way (although what could be more embarassing than his name already is, I don't know).
Santorum dying en flagrante santorum.
Thomas Jefferson/John Adams LIBEL!!!
Camus can do, but Sartre is smart-re.
Son-of-a-mill-worker! Seems ole Johnny Edwards has come down with a terminal case of "I'm to pretty to go to prison."
Lawyers are all criminals.
Now, now. Not all of them…just most of them. lol
This has Tebow Jesus written all over it.
I hate to step out character and wish terrible things on Johnny, but I can't help to think about the fallout to his young kids. But Karma is a honey badger bitch.
/pinche mode on. I just hope Karma visits that scandalous and remorseless cunt Lisa Druck.
There are consequences for having sex with someone who looks like a rat.
And then she had the nerve to whine that they printed pictures of her without her pants…totally despise her!
I suspected he was suffering from that four hour erection gone wrong thing the commercial warns users about.
You mean he's permanently a big dick?
You know you're guilty when you have health problems serious enough to keep you out of trial. (Cf. Milosevic, Ceausescu, et al). Oh, did I just compare Edwards to international genocidal terrorists? I guess I did. Oops.
Seems kind of a shame in that in Edwards' case, I'm sure it's nothing worse than terminal dandruff.
OT & MAJOR SURPRISE, MAJOR SURPRISE!!!
The conservtarded evilgelicals meeting at Rancho del Douche in Tejas have endorsed frothy Rick Santorum for Prez. Perry didn't make it past the first ballot. Somewhat surprising given that Santorum is a Papist.
woopie…too, also
Thanks for the report. I forgot today was the meeting of the "minds," to use a term loosely. Or "losely" as they would probably spell it.
Woah! Did you hear that? That Boom! was the sound of the Google Machine Exploding with a Frothy Mixture of surprise and delight when the Talibangelicals announced they chose Santorum!
I read that as "Teabangelicals"
Well, that works also, doesn't it?
Waking up kinda late to see that odious fuckball Tony Perkins on CNN was not how anyone wants to start their day. Especially when he's deep-throating the concept of Santorum as President.
When they googled santorum, it gave them such a deliciously naughty thrill, they took it for a 'sign'.
He was drinking the Santorum kool-aid, was he? I can certainly see why you wouldn't care to watch that.
Wait until these bastards find out that Mexicans are Catholics too. That's going to be so funny.
Do you think they'll join in for a couple of verses of ♪♫ the Vatican Rag ♫♪?
starts 1:43
Get in line in that processional
Step into that small confessional
There the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original
If it is try playin' it safer
Drink the wine and chew the wafer
Two, four, six, eight
Time to transubstantiate!
So get down upon your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect and
Genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!
When are we going to get together for a date Poisoning Pigeons in the Park?
I always read it evangenitals given how they seem so fixated on my genitals and what I do with them.
You are so gonna love this band!
Why yes, they're kinda friends of mine…
It does not look like "my thing", but I will give it a listen since one good turn deserves another, etc.
Pornobilly?
Their song "Fuck 'em All" should be required listening for anyone thinking of getting involved in politics, even though it's not about politics.
Uh, that would be Mojo Nixon, I think…
In the Eternal Battle for Best Band Name EVAH they win. Runner up: Throbbing Gristle.
3rd: Big Blow & the Bushwackers
How 'bout an honorable mention for Elvis Hitler?
Throbbing Gristle – now there's a name I haven't heard for awhile. My Grad school roommate in the mid-eighties came from LA, and brought LPs of this whole new world of weird music. He was a huge Throbbing Gristle fan. I never could quite like their music, though X and the Blasters, on the other hand….
That name brings back memories of drinking beer and playing speed chess at 2 am listening to X's Wild Gift. (smiles)
Thanks.
I guess none of their wingnut preachers has given a sermon about the 'Whore of Babylon' recently.
I suspect the reason that Perry didn't make it past the first ballot is that a majority of them have fucked Rick Perry and were not impressed at all.
Er, wow, um … oops.
Ok, seriously guys….we need some new Santorum jokes.
Okay…
I hereby move that we refer to these Conservative Evangelical Santorum Supporters as
Frothtards
from now on. Who will Second?
I'll turd it!
ALLZ IN FAVERRR?
FROTHTARDS IT IS!
Pssst…pass it on.
Alternative suggestion: Since Ron Paul supporters are considered Libertarians, maybe Rick Santorum supporters can be considered Lubertarians.
Hey, were you listening to my story of the old coot I heard ranting about "Santorium"?!
Yet another man made element, a momentary isotope that were it stable would be incredibly usefull as a lubricating agent, but promptly degrades into a frothy mix of ….
Can't we have both? I think that the term Frothtard-Lubertarian has a certain visual appeal.
In addition, think of the hilarity which would ensue after the inevitable Schism when we'd have the Frothtards, the Lubertarians and the Frothtard-Lubertarians.
You've got to be kidding me. They go and pick a guy even more openly and proudly mad than Huckabee. At least Huckabee damned you with a smile. Forget what Santorum believes, for a moment, the guy just has a repugnant and annoying personality.
Harpies, Herpes, Hairpiece, Heart Pleas: The John Edwards Story
BARF! Focus On The Family just ran a spot during the New England-Denver game (aka "TeBowl") with a bunch of fucking 3 year olds reciting John 3:16. Do they really think this Tebow business is some kind of opportunity to convert, or did they run it just to give the Evangelicals feel-good strokes (hooray for us!!) and intimidate the Godless?
I am so glad their God has so much fucking time on his hands that this football game is important.
Yeah, Religious Freedom. I'd like to see a Muslim Pro player try to run around with "Allah Akbar" painted in the black under his eyes and put down a prayer rug towards Mecca at the Super Bowl.
Lynching in 3…2…1
Or a Wiccan reciting prayers to Mother Goddess. The goalposts would make a handy stake for the pyre.
I wish we lived in a world where there were Wiccan, goddess-worshipping professional football players. *sigh*
I would so watch that.
I'd like to see a whole bunch of Pastafarians in the stands, wearing Colanders on their heads, cheering on a Pastafarian Player.
Why the Hell Not?
I think their god was kinda busy, handing the Saints their asses on sticks. GO Niners!
God's a Cowboys fan, that's why they left the hole in the roof, so he can watch.
I thought they left the hole to give Jerry Jones' ego room to expand.
But, if they did leave it for God to watch, he's a disappointed deity these last few season, ain't he?
35 – 7 at the half. Jesus has 28 yards on 3/8 passing and at least three sacks (that I counted, there may be more) and one lost fumble.
Is it Good Friday today?
Whenever I watch a Bronco game they lose, so I must be the anti-Tebow. Guess I'd better get back to the tv in order to prevent the dreaded Broncomania which is truly disgusting to experience.
Or, as Charles Barkley referred to it, "Our long national nightmare."
Whew – that's done. 'Twas uggglllyyy.
It's going to be Good Tuesday for me at the office. I finally had to ask the Broncoids at work last Monday to take the jabber somewhere else after 45 minutes of it in the cube next to mine. I think it's gonna be kind of quiet this week when we get back from the MLK holiday.
Ha ha! HA HA HA!
Brady = Muscular Jesus
Tebow = Leprous Retarded Kitten With Not Quite Spina Bifida But Something Sorta Like That Jesus
Hi Owls –
Nothing big. Just wanted to say hi and send you good wishes.
Chich
A quick addendum during halftime waiting for the carnage to resume in the second half. One of the wingnut sites had one of the regulars posting their usual spittle-flecked rant, this time naturally on why Tebow provokes such distaste. (Praeger, maybe? Anyway someone Praegery.) Of course, it was framed in the standard way: Christians are the last group it's OK to slander, oh, we're so oppressed, etc. Tebow is bearing the slings and arrows of the entire culture and standing tall like a warrior. [Rather than enduring a 24/7 Espn/abc fluffing that neglects to point out, for example, that including the current game, which is already lost at the half, Tebow is 1-4 in his last four games, precisely the record that got Kyle Orton canned in the first place. Normally ESPN loves angles like "Orton came back to defeat the team that dumped him." but they panned away from it this time.]
Praeger or pseudo-Praeger.continued with (not exact quote): "and yet Tim Tebow is obviously the only NFL player that any of us would feel comfortable letting baby sit our daughters." (***) In fact, setting aside a handful of wackos, flakes, psychos and irresponsible creeps, I don't see the problem. Most NFL players are exceptionally hard working family men who can be counted on to fulfill simple responsibilities like that. In fact, setting aside same handful of wackos, flakes, psychos and irresponsible creeps, Tebow is one of the few NFL players I wouldn't let babysit my daughter. Because those other guys are not likely to spend the babysitting hours telling her that the Loving God of the Universe is going to toss her Mommy and Daddy into a flame hundreds of times hotter than a campfire, to writhe in agony for all eternity, unless they accept every jot and tittle of the lunatic story Tebow and his friends believe.
My parents had that number done on them by the local Pentecostals, and sure enough, so did my sister and me. I'd rather spare my own kids the nightmares and ensuing fucked-up months of despair, thanks much.
(***) Of course, I need not point out explicitly that there is an implied contrast between the Great White Tebow and the stereotype of an NFL player that seems to draw upon suspicion and hostility toward a group that, in fact, it seems Republicans are becoming more and more comfortable slandering without dogwhistles these days. [And I don't mean the group of "people who make hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars a year".]
Re: babysitting. Actually, I think you already addressed this, but to be a little more explicit: There are quite a few NFL players who are as overtly Christianist as Tim Tebow. The thing is, most of them are black, and not quarterbacks, so they don't get much press.
Also, too, I would never have considered letting anyone babysit my children unless I knew him or her personally. To me, that whole line of discussion is simple nonsense.
FWIW, as high-visibility Christians go, I find Tebow to be relatively inoffensive. He devotes most of his evangelizing to setting a good example, rather than arguing with people. I don't share his beliefs, but as long as he's not arm-wrestling people about them, I'm happy that he's happy.
He's still not a very good quarterback, but he is said to have a good work ethic, so perhaps he will get better. It's life, you know.
Looks like Jesus was all tuckered out after willing the 49ers victory over the Aints.
Good point. I've always felt that, hey, believe any crazy-assed thing you want but just keep it away from the Children.
Addendum 2. Well, I got so carried away that I missed another New England touchdown. 42-7. Jesus now 3/13 for 28 yards. I wonder when they're going to put Apostle Peter in.
Sort of a typical, lame SNL skit, but this did have a couple money moments, and I'll give them some credit for taking on the subject.
Tebow passed for 136 yards today. John 1:36 (NIV):
When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “Look, the Lamb of God!”.
In the King Masshole Bible, Book of Kennedys, that passage goes:
When he saw Brady passing by, he said, “Look, the Lamb of God!”.
Oh, added bonus? Old Testament God subcontracts all his smiting out to an angel known as "Gronk."
I think he actually said, “Look, the Lambskin Coat of God in this year's fashion color!”
And God said unto them, "Wicked pissah! Anybody who doesn't wear one this yeah is gonna look like a total retahd."
Then He hit Filene's Basement to check out a cheapo wedding dress for his stupid knocked up daw-tah.
The one sad thing about this is that a loss for Tebow means a win for the fucking Patriots, and for the most obnoxious fans in all of sports.
Well Soros, not a lot of Mr. Ed (John Elway) / Broncos lovers here in Seattle. So with the Lou Sarah of the NFL vs. the Boston Teabaggers perhaps playing to a 2-2 tie would have been better.
Ha ha! HA HA HA!
Suck it.
There's a reason I'm not called 'Loser' of Owls.
Oh, did I mention suck it? If not, suck it. And that goes for the Mooninites too.
What are you doing rooting for the Patriots down in Arkansas?
As far as I'm concerned, they were a means to end, and end to Tebowmania. Outside of that, Brady was the original Teblow.
^^Caution: Falling Explanations Overhead^^
And as to your unfortunate case of retardation, yes, Tom Fucking Brady is exactly like Tiny Tim Tebow in every single possible way.
In a few hours, I'll be seeing your lost twin of brain dead comparisons, the editorial page editor of the state newspaper doing what his odious ass does on every single MLK day: recycle his oozy hagiography of…wait for it…Robert E. Lee.
Oh, and don't even think about telling me how disappointed you are in me or I'll have Barb all over your detroit ass in a heartbeat. Remember how long it took you to dig outta that ditch last time?
I've actually decided that probably God really is too busy fixing football games to have time for the poor, the frightened, the defenseless, and the desolate. It explains how the world works so well, after all.
Romney now handing out cash to voters!
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/14/r…
That she supports ANY repub candidate in her current straits tells me she is not a person of reason.
"I agree with the party that says if you have no healthcare and no job you are lazy" "HELP! I HAVE NO HEALTHCARE AND NO JOB!"
Isn't this the guy who said, "If you want politicians who will give you free stuff, vote for the other guy"? Oh, maybe he means cash is different?
60 bucks isn't cash to him. His brain can't process any money not in hundos.
Good point. Besides, sixty bucks won't make a shit's worth of difference to her. Sixty THOUSAND, OTOH …
Since it's the weekend, there is nothing new and I'm spending my time watching the Muppet Show, I'll just post this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmRRDig_9nE
Fantastic! I love Garfunkle and Oates.
Have you ever heard Sex with Ducks?
You mean this?
Donald Libel!
Oh that's one of my favorite, tied with their Pregnant Women are Smug; but I love everything they've done.
I don't know how we missed liveblogging today's debate…
I'd hit the ones in the middle and on the left. The chick on the right is just too ugly.
Have you seen the Roger Moore episode yet? He does a rousing rendition of "Talk to the Animals". For some reason, that's the one that stands out most vividly in my memory. Possibly because I was a 12-year-old nerdy Muppet AND James Bond fan at the time, and this was like xmas times a million.
Also, don't neglect to watch Muppets from Space and A Muppet Christmas Carol
At first I thought you meant this much better vidclip…
I completely finished Season 3 yesterday (Sadly, seasons 4 and 5 are not yet available on DVD). My favorite episode of the season was the one with Harry Bellafonte, ending with the transcendent Turn the World Around. Now I'm rewatching Cheers on DVD and halfway through Season 2; it's still hilarious; though it's weird how the early years are just about Sam and Diane, with the other characters normally in the background save for a few focus episodes; when it became a full ensemble show during the Rebecca years.
Dang, that song is catchy. Complex counterpoint, polyrhythms, "urban" sets and characters. Hard to imagine seeing that on 2012 primetime tv.
The song was so effective that Henson's children asked Bellafonte to perform it at is funeral; it was reported to be one of his favorite episodes, and watching it it's no hard to see why.
42 – 10, beginning of fourth quarter. Suck it, Teebus. Where is Public, Football Geezus, when you need him?
In this picture?
Shows you how crappy the Steelers were in the end.
Tesus is no match for the Power of the Dark Side.
~
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT! Are you not entertained?!
Apparently no one told Tebow that Jesus is Jewish and he doesn't work on Saturday.
Well played, Jukes; well played.
**golf clap**
Thank you very much. We whas respond very well to golf claps. Some of us even think political discussions should be held in quiet rooms.
Well, actually, the game started after sundown on Saturday, so JC should have been free. But even Jesus couldn't overcome the Buncos' tendency to end up scoring 10 points in blowout playoff games (42-10, 1988 Super Bowl, against my beloved Deadskins; 55-10, 1989 Super Bowl, against the Niners).
After the 55-10 blowout, I suggested to my office mates that we at the DOT change all the east-west interstate highway signs in Denver to read "I-70, Broncos-10".
You could get away with something like that if you worked for PennDOT in Pittsburgh. Though somebody on the way home from the airport would wreck.
You know, now that I think about it, maybe the reason the game did start after sundown is because Tim Tebow is a secret Hebrew!!!
I know. The game on the West Coast started at breakfast and the game on the East Coast started when everyone should have been drinking at the Foxwood. Who scheduled that?!
The NFL. For ratings.
Exactly! That was very mean of the NFL to force me to start drinking away what I thought would be the sorrows of watching my Niners get their asses handed to them long before I had a proper meal of anusburgers and freedom fries. It's hard work to get drunk before 2 pm, but someone has to do it.
It's hard work to get drunk before 2 pm
Not if you start at 10 in the morning.
Oh, and I can guarantee you that the headline at the top of the front page of the Sunday Denver Post, in 72-point bold, will be "BRONCOS LOSE". If a nuke goes off in D. C. tonight, or the Preznit takes a bullet, that story will be a short blurb in a little box in the lower left hand corner of the front page with directions to go to page A-9 (after the 8 pages of Broncos stories). Denver's media is attached to the Broncos in the same way Fox News is attached to the Republican Party.
I was hoping for the headline "Zoolander Shoves a Pointy Toe Pump Up Jesus's Ass."
My hope of Newt/Edwards 2012 is crushed.
Here is some good news this weekend as the Obama administration has come out against SOPA:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2012/01/14/ob…
It's good to see the Administration coming out against SOPA&IPA, albeit belatedly. Although copyright (and patent) protections ideally should be upheld 100%, just think what could have happened had these protections been completely enforced. One example: Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin, but wanted such a high price to use it that others just made their own. The widespread use of the cotton gin removed at least one argument for slavery, and possibly shortened the life of the peculiar institution in the US.
So any minute we can expect a retraction from Layne over this story from November when he claimed the administration was very much in favor of SOPA, even though the links he provided in that story provided no evidence whatsoever to support that claim?
Nope, this new stance just proves Obama is Morally Weak!
Not all PACs are pachyderms.
Frank Luntz, eat your heart out: a Texas Tea Party official thinks that Republicans can win over Latinos by avoiding the use of the word "Republican".
Oh that's precious, What are they supposed to call themselves? This soul for rent or lease? I would imagine that conversation was pretty amusing for the flies in the room: "On't-day ell-tay the etbacks-way e're-way epublican-ray!" Just so's they can keep this on the down low. The baptists may be stupid enough to buy their shit, but I believe hispanic folk can see grifters for what they are.
Damn, these mofos sure do think us cullud folks are DUMB!
I believe hispanic folk can see grifters for what they are.
Alas, if that were the case, we'd all be speaking Nahautl and Hernan Cortes' bones would be on display at the Intlatollo Tocanahuacan in Tenochtitlan in an exhibit on "Dead 'Civilizations'."
As a political party, you've really painted yourself into a corner when you're forced to acknowledge that referring to your party by its own name will cost you votes.
Obama warned them four years ago to scale down their rhetoric because they were painting themselves into a corner. At the time, I don't think I foresaw all the consequences of what they were doing, and the rise of the teabaggers in 2010 left me too depressed to think clearly. But he was right, and to a painful degree, because they're doing their best to take us all down with them.
Did the mental giant who came up with that idea also say that "We will still have to call ourselves a 'party' so that the young people will vote for us?
"El Partido Loco de Promesas Vacías"
Lol! Besides that, Mrs. Lincoln…
The worst part of the nonsense with him striking his dying wife and the other awfulness is how we would be told that it was alright if not somehow noble if he only had an (R) next to his name.
I'm sorry, he'll have to croak to prove to me he's not shamming.
The AP reports that at least he didnt try to fake a coma
The height of probity and ethical behavior in the moral netherworld of John Edwards
Five hundred thirdst!!
OT – got a phone call from the DSC, fundraising for Democratic Senatorial candidates. Maybe they shouldn't have wasted so much money on those tongue-bath ads for fucking Ben Nelson the last couple of years. Screw them – I'll donate money where I think it will do good.
I hope you told them why your aren't donating. A couple of years ago I told the DCCC I didn't want my money going to Rahm's DLC candidates; they weren't happy but I've never heard from them again, so I guess they got the message.
That doesn't seem to work for mailings. I send them back (they usually have an "opinion questionnaire" to fill out) saying that I'll continue to contribute to the individual campaigns of progressive Dems, but won't contribute to the DCCC or the DSCC until I can be sure my money won't go to support folks like Ben Nelson. Still, the mailings continue.
Huntsman is dropping out tomorrow.
His daughters will be missed.
That's OK – they should still look good in 2016.
Not so sure, after the 12 kids they'll have in the next four years.
Maybe they'll be like Megs McCain and never go away, even when you really want them to.
Please, since the politics of the '00, the first decade of politics firmly within the timeframe of the 24-hour media, none of the unestablished children of politicians (or the politicans, themselves) go away, anymore,until they grift enough for a down payment on a house. And, that goes for both parties.
No kidding. My cat could read Today Show puff-pieces more convincingly than Chelsea and Jenna combined.
Which ones? The hot ones, or the ones that were "even adopted?"?
All of them, Katie. Really, every one of them.
Jonny, we hardly knew ye. But I have a strong feeling we'll get to know you again in 2016.
And with any luck, he'll receive an equally enthusiastic welcome that year, and when he runs again in 2020.
It's not as if anyone would notice.
Oh, you mean about the daughters? Sure!
Yep. There he goes, riding off into the sunset…
Jon Huntsman is dropping out and on the way left his "rational guy" creds at the door by giving Romney his endorsement.
"The governor and his family, at this point in the race, decided it was time for Republicans to rally around a candidate who could beat Barack Obama and turn around the economy,” Mr. David said. “That candidate is Gov. Mitt Romney.”
The only role Huntsman was serving in the race was specifically to tear down Mitt Romney, and then he drops out and endorses his ass? PAthetic. Fucking sell out.
Nah, that's not the only role Huntsman is serving in this race; he's also running for the nomination in 2016, much as Mittens was running for the 2012 nomination back in 2008. We'll see if that works.
Republicans sure like nominating people who have ran before (Goldwater, Nixon, Reagan, G. H. W. Bush, Dole, McCain, now Romney), but unless Rick Perry gets a brain transplant, I really don't see anyone in this crop making a successful comeback in 4 years.
He may have a point…I don't know about this Obama character. Just look at the duplicitous asshole Obama chose to make his ambassador to China!
Maybe Bams could come back and offer him the anbassadorship to Dumbfuckistan.
Aww, I was just looking at replies to my old post and I saw a Ron Paul fan jumped in the Ron Paul thread from a few days ago. I wish they'd be more punctual…they are tons of fun with their "Ron Paul isn't responsible for the things he had in the Ron Paul newsletter, said or signed".
Jon Huntsman drops out and Sir Ben Kingsley gets a lap dance during the Golden Globes. And I thought wine tasting would be the highlight of my Sunday…
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/race/golden-glob…
Damn, now I feel bad for not watching the Golden Globes, Did anything else notable occur?
Don't feel bad, it wasn't that fun after all. Ricky was only on a few times and he kept it rather tame. I guess he doesnt want back next year.
But the 2008 Russian River Zins were delightful!
huh. i was hoping for the golden globes coverage.
course clive owen was there. so my interest was predictable.
Happy Birfdai, Biff! Happy Gay Marriage too!
60. Jesus christ, how'd THAT happen?
I know! I still remember when we all sat around smoking cheap pot and drinking cheap wine and swearing we'd never live past 30. And now here we are, twice that.
What a dippy bint. My Dewey deserves better.
YOUR Dewey??? Gurl, you SO did not go there. Biff, hold mah earrings, hon. I'm divin' in.
TELL DEWEY I LOVE HIM!!
Happy Birthday, brother. I'm sorry you had to see that.
What, 60? I'm kinda glad he made it to there, but hey, whatever.
ntD, would you please call your cheap football floozie off? That gurl done disgraced all of 42nd street, carryin' on that way.
Back when my parents were recently divorced, they would squabble over whose turn it was to give me a ride somewhere, and I would ask them "can't you please just do this, as a personal favor to me, and not think about how the other one benefits at your expense?"
I don't know what made me think of that.
Doesn't dashing or movieish-like handsome count for nothing these days?
I'm dying here!!
Or…… I'm dying for some sympathy fucking!!!! Yeah Yeah Yeah!!! Yeahhhhh!
And Pepé Le Pew.
And, every deposed dictator the world over, 'cause they always go to France to get help with their hearts and can never return home.
And listen to Boy George sing Karma Chameleon endlessly, for eternity.
Brain can't unhear voice in head. Will try to drown in beer.
Good one flamingpdog! BTW I remember singing that ol' Dick Nixon ditty back in 1972. Also, too.
OMG. I hadn't heard that. !!!
I'm not sure how much weight I'd accord the NY Post's report, but you can read it here: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/edwards_hit…
I'm pretty sure I read it at the Huff Poo, originally.
Occasionally, I feel bad about being single. Then I see/hear/read something about married people that makes me feel really good about being single.
If it was me, dude wouldn't have to worry about a trial, if you know what I mean.
i had not seen that. how these people don't choke to death on their own bile i have no idea.
How did so many truly insane people get to be in offices with actual authority?
Cafe Press (who I used to like) also carries a Tshirt with that same bible verse on it. They haven't gotten a penny of my money since I saw it.
Thank you. I am constantly disgusted by these people. There is no low to which they have not sunk or will not sink.
Unfortunately, the only way to get rid of an earworm is to think of an even worse song.
I'm thinking of a few right now.
I will refrain from sharing.
You're welcome.
Welcome to the District Court California–you can get a continuance any time you like, but you can never recess.
In their defense, that'd be like holding YouTube responsible for every "Barack Obongo is a Socialist Nazi" video. They don't actually make the designs – independent retailers simply use Cafe Press as a tool to make their own swag. Cafe Press has next to no creative control over the crap people make through them.
I b'leev we might have most of those motherfuckers right here.
Oh, baby. (hugs the little one)
Sometimes it just takes time to find That Speshul Someone. Took me 45 years, with lots of drama and trauma and sobs, sniffles and tears in between.
I thought I recognized the affection. Nice name and avatar change, old dummy. And thanks for the compliment.
She's good. She's still not allowed to use scissors, but she's coping. The sharpest toy she's allowed is her wooden putty knife that she uses to cut and shape Play-Doh.
But at least she didn't cut her beautiful hair. Many friends' daughters have "given themselves haircuts" at the age of 3 or 4, before they realize what the implications are. I saw a picture of one recently; she had apparently just realized that it couldn't be undone, and the look of anguish on her face was heartbreaking.
How's the knee coming?
It may be somewhat idealized.
(Does she mean "sweet and charming," or "mean and horrible, I wonder?)
I put it in my tagline, so you'd know. You know, anaconda you complained and everything.
Poor babes! Fortunately, every heartbreak, though the worst possible since EVAH, only lasts till the next SHINY! She does have pretty hair. In fact, she is a very pretty little girl. You know what she needs, ntD? A hood with kitten ears, to keep her pretty head warm in the cold snowy winter. I saw one that would be so fucking perfect, and then, of course, suffered a giant brain fart and completely forgot where. If I find it again, I'm'a send it to you. Little Susie NotThatDewey needs a warm kitten-ears hat.
Knee's OK. PT is exhausting, I pass out for 24-36 hours after every session. Gotta have a word with the PT dude. I think he thinks I'm a spring chicken wot bounces back all healthy.
Thanks for putting it in your tagline. I might've caught on from the tone of your posts after a time, but I am slow and that woulda taken a while. And thanks for calling me “mean and horrible” – I don't often get that kind of respect, try as I might. And really, 'cause I complained, you changed. I may have to web-marry you.
Thank you for changing out your Avatar pic. It's done wonders for my Moderate Coulrophobia.
I R SO Teh Ready. (leer, wink, drool)
Like this one? It doesn't quite fit her anymore. Here she is from back when it did.
RS is a true hero of the revolution. And Rep Shultz has some attentive speechwriters.
Long live the phrase "Job Cremators"!
Here's our Frank Luntz — one George Lakoff. And it's not even that he lacks the horsepower of the actual Luntz; he simply doesn't have the media's ear and/or they're not buying what he's selling. US press is happy to be led around by the nose by Luntz, without ever acknowledging the fact, and bristles at the idea of allowing real left issues to be framed equivalently.
So here's hoping that Rachel Maddow and Stewart/Colbert pick up these memes and can carry the load. Dylan Rattigan is too erratic; Lawrence O'Donnell is an avowed Socialist and therefore will never be taken seriously across the hall at NBC Central. We got nobody else on teevee. : (
My goodness, but she's a beautiful child, with her delicate, translucent skin. Who took the photos, you or Moms? She has a high, delicate colour, just the faintest tinge of rose under an almost baked-biscuit brown. You and the Mrs. did good, guy. And such intense eyes.
Cuteness overload!
Just looking at her pitchers again. What a beautiful little girl she is! You are one lucky Papa! AND she's apparently an early Obamabot. I'm SO sending her pic to Obama HQ.
PAD —-> MB. The Radio can't tune that fast. I can't keep up sweetheart. Nonetheless, I like the new moniker and avatar.
My god. I didn't like him before, but he just went from irredeemably horny scumbag to complete and total fucking inhuman piece of shit. Holy shit. That's even lower than… I can barely say it… Newt… Gingrich.
Sounds just like my Labradorable.
Pretty close.
BTW, love the term!
I never did understand the issue with "the Dean scream". Might have something to do with how I was raised. But I've always liked the good doc.
True. Apparently, Rahm didn't like Howard. I like Rahm, but Howard's way better as a choice for the DNC.
Dean was bad for pocketbooks, being all populist and all, trying to actually include the rabble in their governance.
OK, it's just me, I guess. I kept reading that as "Coulterphobia."
Veddy interesting, ntD. You recommend, or what?
And you caught me in the *down* cycle, dood. Back when, with ntD's encouragement, I was changing avs and login names twice weekly. Good times!
Gender libel! You wouldn't marry *me* the other day because not gay or female or whatever.
On the interwebz, nobody can see your naughty bits…
Would that be an example of "Projection" ?
Oddly enough, I suffer from "Coulterphobia" also. It causes me to assault electronic media devices on occasion.
Perhaps the two are linked? Nah…Clowns are good people and want to make folks happy.
Coulter, OTOH…
Yeah, that was the turning point for me. I've always figured what goes on between people is their business and nobody else's, except maybe if they have kids it becomes society's business. And since only those two people really know what went on between them, it's difficult to judge. Some women can be brutal abusers. But when a sick, dying person hits you, no matter how angry you are with them, no matter what went on before, you simply do not hit them back, regardless. AFAIC, since that day he's been dead to me. I can't care in the least about his well-being. He's forfeited his humanity and deserves no consideration.
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments."
If THAT's the way it's gonna be, I'll just gay-marry you too. It's a InterWebz wedding so we can ALL marry each other and invinte as many people as we want. And then we'll marry THEM, too! So there.
Stop trying to steal my boyfriend, you hussy! I hit on Dewster first!!
Go ahead, tell her Honey. Um, Peaches? You there?
This is the one that I've read; it was making the rounds in the NM progressive circles a few years back. My terrible boss, of all people, is a lead organizer around these parts, and he turned me onto it. The main point is well-taken: libs are terrible at framing and dominating the conversation in the news. Lakoff tries to steer a path forward. The effective libs — Axelrod, Warren — seem to work from that outline. I don't know whether they've read that specifically, or just hit on the same ideas. But it's something. Which is better than what we've got now.
He's a huge chocolate lab that we fostered and then adopted last year. Big old sweetie who likes to cuddle with our mostly white Shit Sue. Very cuuuute.
(searches for book on John Wayne Gacy)
Dood, you just need to hang with the, um, *right* kinda clownz, dood.
Woo-wee! Hello? GirlFRIEND? Could you just hike your skirts up a little there, sissymary? We wouldn't want to accidentally get, I dunno, SANTORUM all over them, would we.
Honestly, who put sand in her moisturizer?
ntD, hunny? Could you just get someone to take out the TRASH, here? I am simply suffocating, I swear.
BOTH OF YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW
Wonderful, and good for you!
I am officially awarding you Two* Gold Stars for fostering and adopting – and loving your dogs.
* (Unprecedented!)
Santorum was right! Gay marriage does lead to polygamy!!?!1!!
(Okay, the words, "Santorum was right" should never be uttered, written, or typed. But I'm a rebel and I'll never, ever be any good.)
Thx, you really know how to make me feel speshul.
(hugs the Biff) Happy Birfday. I'll gay-marry you on our birfday so we won't have to worry about remembering the anniversary.
You're right. You'll never be good. Why settle, when you're already great?
Gay marriage leads to LOTS of fun stuff! Just legalize it and see!
Just because she doesn't do what
everybody else does…
I think Rahm was probably the single worst thing to happen to the Obama administration.
I've never inspired a Shakespeare quote before!
Cool. Wait–aren't you tomorrow? I'm Monday. I guess I could stay up until midnight to make sure.
Agreed. But Summers, Rubin, and Geithner are tied with him for first place.
And look what he's doing in Chicago now with essentially outlawing protests.
Gacy, Pennywise and the Killer Klowns from Outer Space are the kind that populate my nightmares.
I have met some actual bona-fide Clowns and find them to be Most Excellent people, so I'm working on my Problem.
(Ooo…almost forgot Kinko, Kinko the Kid-Loving Clown!)
Exactly. We'll do it at midnight and never have to worry about it again.
Just Do Eeeet.
"What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals…"
There, now you have inspired two!
Human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria!
So, just where is all this "Man On Dog" action Santorum's been promising Eh?
Interesting. Thanks. I might put it on the list, but not just yet.
I have fostered and adopted a number of dust bunnies. I can haz stars?
(tears in my eyes) Thank you, thank you. What a rare and deserved honor.
You are SO cute when you're acting all butch.
No! You DON'T say!
If they're nice big happy ones you may have this Gold – Colored Avery Dot with a Star drawn on it -but you have to keep them.
Also, you must sell your Vacuum Cleaner. Those are the rules.
OK, so, if we're gonna go there, I grew MINE into dust gorillas, OK?
I think my vacuum cleaner died of neglect.
You drive a hard bargain, C_R_Eature.
My dumbass, but lovable, brother always says that libs or independent thinkers have no conviction. Fuck 'em, you've always convinced me that humor and reasoning are better than spoon fed propaganda gruel. MittBorg, indeed.
I Do… and your deceased vacuum is what I like to call a Good Start.
Killer Klowns gave me nightmares. Srsly. Weird, surrealistic, *disjointed* nightmares, but nightmares nonetheless. Clowns used to make me cry when I was a kid. My parents thought it was beyond all bearing, that they raised such a bizarre child.
Excellent choice, from the Dr. Demento collection!
Hey you cognitive linguists, I can't promote enough Winner-Take-All Politics — How Washington Made the Rich Richer — And Turned Its Back on the Middle Class .
Call me a book whore, I don't care; I've had my heart broke before, but this outstanding work lays it out. I don't think there is a boring page. Well researched and mind expanding and culturally relevant. Tell me if I'm pushing it too much and I'll use my limited Wonkette capital to try one more time.
Hot Jazz Saturday Night.
You're not alone. Clowns upset many children. It's the weird make-up and their penchant for hiding under children's beds and creeping out at midnight to DEVOUR *SLAP*… Oof!
Thanks, that's better. Sorry.
BTW, you'll be pleased/horrified to learn that there's a brand new version of Killer Klowns in production now. The good news is, that as an adult you're allowed to get Smashing Drunk for this one, if you dare.
Suits him, no?
I've given up watching horror movies of late. There's so much *actual* horror going on, and all, y'know.
Right there with you. Cruelty, also.
I just don't see how people enjoy stuff like that .
Not pushing too hard at all. So many cool and important links and books get passed through these pages that a fellow has a hard time keeping track of them all, and a follow-up to one of them is most appreciated. It's in my Amazon "save for later" cart.
I'll return the favor, and re-push Cass Sunstein's The Cost of Rights: Why Liberty Depends on Taxes. This reads a lot like that Elizabeth Warren viral "why we need taxes" town hall, but with more emphasis on how the rich benefit disproportionately from government services (the court system, property rights, the SEC, etc) and therefore need to pay even more.
I'm too new here to complain about nothin'. Also, I'm constantly soliciting book/music recommendations, probly because I'm a gimpy old fart who can't run around like I used to.
Sounds interesting, on my list.
Probably bookmarked on his computer.
Can definitely be found in Carl Paladino's saved emails.
Dude, stop changin' your name!!! I kept wondering, "Who is this dude with 130 p, and I don't remember any MittBorg", until you threw out the hugs, and I went, ohHHHHhh.
My brother also got married on my birthday. Then he died.
Happy birthday, then?
You're so welcome. Folks like you don't get enough thanks, IMHOP.
*Nails it*
That last line is totally upfistworthy.
I used to have a 90 minute cassette of the Good Doctor's greatest, painstakingly recorded off the radio. Some bastard stole it. Even had Napoleon XIV'th 'They're Coming To Take Me Away (hoho,hehe,haha) on it. Shameful.
Or Buck Naked and The Bare Bottom Boys.
So, uh, did I mention I might be, I dunno, leaving town on a lengthy trip to Outer Mongolia?
Gracias.
haha, Dewey. "You sound like Elizabeth Warren" actually wrote the cover advance praise for Winner-Take-All. And I'm sure your recommendation is good as Glenda hated, HATED Mr. Sunstein on his inept, failed show.
RTFM, dood. Or read the tagline, anyway. (sniff!) I even PUT it there, so Geminisunmars would know I loved her and all, sniff! But SOME folks are just NEVER satisfied are they? That's right. I'm just go out in the garden and eat me some worms now.
God. Damnit.
It's all available online, thankfully.
I find Gorillas unsettling, but I'll give you THREE Gold -Colored Avery Dots with stars drawn on them.
For Volume.
That's it. I'm so not telling you MY beastly rescue stories.
Avery dots wiv stars indeed. Flim at Elebenty or GTFO.
WOOHOO!
Now my Brain Rot will be complete!
#theyrecomingtotakemeawayhohohehehaha
(checks calendar) I got nuffink till mid-Feb, darlz. Unless you're willing to go poisoning on week-ends.
Ummm, I'm violently opposed to the passage of SOPA, but for this video I might make an exception.
Buck Naked on the Joan Rivers show had me laughing so hard I hurt.
Thank you.
Chinga Chavin?
I discovered some years ago the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song fit almost perfectly into "Stairway to Heaven", but I don't know if anyone ever recorded that or not.
Don't know if he's still working, but for a long time the most famous Presley imitator in the Borderlands was a guy calling himself El Vez.
Oh! And here he is!
http://www.elvez.net/
Well, I for one thank you for putting it in the tagline. I thought the writing style seemed a bit familiar but I've been fooled before.
Oh, Here's your Gold Star then.
Crikey!
Stairway to Gilligan's Island, also from the Dr. Demento collection.
I love the Blasters.
Dave Alvin owes me a drink. He said if I watched his guitar while he went out for a smoke, he'd buy me a drink. And then, he stiffed me. Grrrr.
Also, I was introduced to Phil Alvin, who is supposed to be All Knowing about All Things Blues, and immediately, though inadvertently, got into a huge, intense argument about whether or not Lightning Hopkins had ever covered "Long Gone Like a Turkey Through the Corn". I was right, he did. Phil was not pleased.
Bad luck with rock stars. Oh, well.
Spoilsport.
(interrupts worm-munching to examine Historicat briefly) SOME people! (resumes munching)
I'm jealous – I've never seen the Blasters live, though the video footage I've seen makes it clear they can be spectacular. I did have a Phil Alvin connection of a funny kind. During the term I was preparing for my general exams, I was working constantly and everyone in the PhD class was under a ton of pressure. What kept me sane was keeping the Blasters on a walkman glued to my ears more or less every waking moment. (Love Billy Zoom and X too, but they're a bit bleak to do the work of sustaining a student through a workaholic frenzy of 3 months of mathematical logic.) I made it, got the PhD and now have a job I love, so the Blasters always have a special place in my heart.The twist ending is that some years later, I read an interview with Phil Alvin, and learned that after the group broke up the first time (he and Dave apparently had one fierce argument too many, or so I hear) Phil went to UCLA (one of the best PhD programs in my general thesis area) and set out on a PhD which was in the same general area of mathematics as my own, and in fact astonishingly close to the precise sub-area I was working on.And now you know……the rest of the story.—
You wouldn't be jealous if you knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of Phil's wrath. The bass player had to step in to defuse the situation.
I never saw the Blasters live, I saw Phil and Dave in a rare performance together. And I've seen Dave solo or fronting a band on a number of occasions, including the infamous drink-stiffing incident.
I knew Phil was considered a math 'wizard' and that, in that capacity, he did unspecified services for the government.
So, are you a professor of mathematics?
OH NOS, it's bad enough having to deal with Zombie Ronald Reagan, but Zombie Paul Harvey??? Bad DAY!
It's always a good time to go poisoning. Just let me know.
That's cool, thanks, but I got mixed up in my post (haz the oldz), and I meant to say the words to "Stairway" to the "Gilligan" music. More bouncy!
Ah, sorry about your experiences with Phil. I guess I'm lucky I just heard recordings. I had heard about the Alvin temper. (When they broke up I was astonished, as it seemed that they had captured lightning in a bottle with that group and I thought it unlikely that moving on to anything else would be nearly as good. I understood from a bunch of sources that the relationship between the brothers was too volatile.) But I didn't realize the temper extended to being proven wrong about blues guitarists. You'd think he'd be overjoyed to find someone who not only knew who Lightning Hopkins is, but could even sustain an in-depth conversation/argument about Hopkins' recordings. Artistic temperament…..As for the other question – Yes and no. I work in an area of mathematics – mathematical logic – that sits at the intersection of mathematics, philosophy and computer science. So people in my area tend to end up in one of those three departments depending on just where their sub-specialties lie and what their secondary research interests are. I landed in a philosophy department, which I prefer for a bunch of reasons. So as far as the university is concerned, at any rate, I'm a philosophy professor.—
I grew up right outside Foxboro, Gramps used to work the gate at the old Schaeffer Stadium. I rooted for these galoots when they were so dismal that the running joke after they changed from being the Boston Patriots to the New England Patriots was that they were trying to spread the shame around.
So ugly? Not for this particular strigiform. 'Twas more beautiful than the glowing body of an obese albino gerbil with three bad legs in an open field during a full moon. That the smoting was going in the other direction this time around made it all the more delicious. Mmmm.
I'm pretty sure Geminisunmars meant ugly for the Broncos, and it really was. Brady took to them like he was performing surgery.
Professor of philosophy! We have quite the gifted bunch here at Wonkette.
And people think we're all about the buttsex jokes.
I have seen him perform and I am pretty sure he was more drunk than me.
Ah, yes. El Vez. From the link:
Its official EL VEZ is part of AMERICAN CULTURE!
American Sabor/Latinos in U.S. Popular Music
July 11 – October 9, 2011
Smithsonian International Gallery
The problem with an industry such as Elvis Impersonation is that there are really no barriers to entry. Anybody can do it. I recount here my own experience with such an individual. And here he is! Judge for yourself.
If this doesn't end with some hawt three-way action, I am going to be SO disappointed.
Actually my main research these days is in the philosophy of buttsechs. And also a theory popular in France, called théorie de couilles des camions.
—
And R. Crumb. And David Sedaris.
Who knew they were deposed dictators?
Happy birthday to my gay/bi pretend internet fiancé.
Woody Allen, as well.
Prisoners of whore, perhaps.
I must confess that, at this time, I lack the ability to say "trucknutz" with the proper French pronunciation.
I will keep trying.
I don't know – winning majorities in the house and senate in 2006 and 2008 probably brought in $$$.
There's no point in bribing people who aren't in power.
That's no reason why you can't give me all your love…
Except you're already gay/polygamously internet-married to MittBorg. Resistance is futile.
I can't commit internet adultery in a post about adultery – Standards! I have 'em! (At least in cyberspace.)
That's at midnight tonight, and MittBorg says we can all invite everyone and marry them, too. I admit to being a bit squirmish about that part, we're still working out the details.
Don't ask questions – he's a Democrat. That MUST mean he's on our side. Amirite!?!
If anyone shows up in a sweater vest, RUN!
Michele? Michele Bachmann, is that YOU???
It goes back to my thesis that the Democrats really prefer to lose. That way, they can say, "Well we tried" and continue fundraising, instead of trying to justify all the watering-down and capitulating they do after they win.
Yeah, he made a pretty good case for himself. Crazy to think of the backed up moral septic tank he had just below the surface. Makes you wonder what the rest of these goons are up to.
Again – we have over 300 million people to choose from to fill what, 600 positions (congress, senate, cabinet)? And yet we end up with so many diaper poopers, wife beaters, drunks, closet cases, furries, racists, and nincompoops. I just don't get it.
Well, if “couilles des camions” is too high-falutin', you could try what we would call them in Canadian street French: “Les gosses de truck”. To my ears that also sounds more appropriately … what's the word…. oh yeah: “Earthy”.[Note: "les gosses" is slang for "the kids" in French-French, which makes comedians ]imagine all sorts of potential cross-cultural misunderstandings: First time visitors to France are asked if they can show any pictures of les gosses, etc. …]—
Nothing to say here, just trying to see how much thinner a comment can get.
"Thinner" -Steven King
You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
Woman after my own heart. And, judging from the tone of your comments, like as not after my lungs and liver, too.
*Smooch* Thank you, darling! I've never been anyone's pretend internet fiance before, ever!
How is your vision these days, my dear?
Beast.
Some insufferably pompous little twat actually had the nerve to call me a "British fascist" to my face. It was all I could do to keep from beaning him with my crutch. Fortunately, the fear of falling was, for some inexplicable reason, greater than the fear of being bodily manhandled by the fellow, and I pitched into a fine yelling match with him that resulted in the air around us turning blue, and my poor, long-suffering friend having to rush up and drag me off still expostulating and gesticulating enthusiastically. Union Square? They'll be et alive by the denizens, forthwith.
Ooh, it worked! Wut? You KNEW I'd try.
Well, Biff and I are getting married to a whole buncha other people, around midnight, so why don't you just show up and we'll gay marry you too.
Aye.
Hey look, it's so thin our P is appearing in strange places! How squashed can a comment get?
Hey.
Sucky as always, my dainty love. Why do you ask? (Peers myopically at Geminisunmars)
Keep going, SorosBot!
It's new to me too, never been anyone's fiance before, real or imagined.
Not knowing which time zone you're even in, I'ma risk it all and say it's a done deal, I do, etc. And I bring this song to the dance.
Chris Webster's one of my favourite lesbian torch songstresses…
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now see what they've done, leaving us unsupervised all weekend!
The reply button is now broken across two lines
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They really did seem uncomfortable with majorities in the House and Senate – "Errrr, we're supposed to actually deliver what we've been promising for years!?! Stall, mumble,distract, stall…Look! We lost our supermajority! We're helpless now."
It gets ever more squashed, as we approach the limits of IntenseDebate's capabilities.
I may not be equipped for much in this life, but I now feel fully qualified to discuss testicles of the automotive variety with people of the French variety.
Merci.
Ima spectator not a dick-tator, ifyouknowwhatImean – anIthinkyoudo.
The same can be said of just about any continent, to tell the truth. France, Italy, Greece, Spain…meh.
Could use a few eyeballs to go along with the lung and heart I'm coveting.
OK, done deal. Happy gay marriage! And just remember, it ain't over till Teh Fat Man sings!
ETA: Big SMOOCH!
You're right — I shouldn't make fun. He was actually a really sweet guy, great stories, good times.
But an Elvis impersonator?
That's some of that white hat/black hat bullshit that stinks so bad, we'd be better off dropping it — if the Republicans hadn't turned into such a bunch of fucking lockstep zombies.
Thanks, darlz! It was a thoroughly fun day, too!
You cheated to get that.
It just dawned on me — neither have I, ever. And I'm your age, which makes it … heartbreaking! NOBODY wanted to be my fiance before evah!
Well, fuck y'all you fucks! I found me a InterNetz Pretend Fiance that's better'n alla youse, so there.
Hence my slogan for the Democrats:
"Sure, we're corporate whores – but at least we're not batshit crazy corporate whores!"
Fired up? Ready to go?
Not that I'm bitter or anything…
A little bitter makes the beer better. Happy birfdai.
God save us from the pretty ones. Whoa. I need my bro-in-law Hamid to translate the rest of that for me…
D'you really have a bil named Hamid? Is he Urdu-speaking? I understand a bit of Urdu but not enough to translate all the lyrics. Tell me wut he sez.
Actually, ex-bil. My sister couldn't have kids, so he did the honorable Iranian thing and dumped her barren ass.
What a fucker. Don't bother asking him, he probably doesn't know any Urdu because that would be "beneath him," yaknow. Also, please feel free to nutpunch him for me any time you're so inclined. Fucking breeder.
You know how you can tell the classy ladies from the floozies? Classy girls always give a thumbs up to the person they are replying to.
I wish I understood any of that but the last paragraph. lol Thumbs up for confusing the fuck outta me Whatever you're on, I need it bad.
But, yeah, at one time Brady was the golden child that everyone fawned over. I'm just glad he matured, and I'm glad he could back up his on-field reputation with actual talent.
BTW, the Patriots are the Yankees of football. Deal with it. :)
You have Barb trained to attack on demand? Somehow I don't think so.
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room.
Small world.
Glenda — now THERE'S a name I hadn't thought about in a while. Whatever happened to him? Sort of like when Sarah Palin is not inserting herself into news stories, I revert to forgetting that she exists.
Wait — is this an open thread?
Dewey, are YOU gonna let that SLUT talk to me like that? Why, that cheap piece of trash got more clo'es on her head than she EVAH wore on her ass!
As long as the choice is between MY President and that bunch of shitbags, hell yeah, I'm fired up and ready to go.
Girl, how YOU know about classy? Last time YOU had class, you wuz twelve years old.
You knew that I hadn't delivered your daily Hug O'Friendship. (Hugs ntD)
I'm sure your parents are both wonderful people in their own way, but right now I'd really like to smack 'em both silly. My personal rule is, NEVER at the expense of the children. It's a miracle you turned out to be such a wonderful person, dood. Extra hug for being a good Dad. Also, pls to deliver to Li'l Suzie one hug, for being such a sweet and gorgeous child.
Dare one hope that your parents are, at least, good grandparents to The Gurl?
I guess that was too subtle.
[furrows brow, glances at Pristine and Owls, who are shooting dirty looks at each other from opposite corners]
My folks and I are all fabulous friends, now. That was a lifetime ago, and my mom was probably more traumatized by the whole thing than any of us. And yes, they are fabulous grandparents, too.
Oh, hon! I guess you just CAN'T TELL when you're being ignored, huh?
That's nice, dear.
[tap tap]
Is this thing on?
Flap a wing, so I know you're still there.
Flap. Honestly, I'm sorry for being a dick and maybe making you worry unnecessarily. That was wrong, simply wrong. All is fine here (w/in parameters), just a combo of overwork and a sour taste from this place lately. Still reading…mostly. And still working on engorging your pee. I'll check in on you from time to time. Again, very, very sorry friend. You deserve more considerate behavior. Que te vaya bien!
No worries. I know the feeling. I didn't take your silence as dickishness. I suspected you were upset; I just didn't know why.
Just keep being a great professor, friend, and family member, and all will be right with the universe.
Hey amigo, just checking in. If you're emulating me, I feel awful, as I do generally for abandoning a close friend in a time of ongoing need. I'll try to be more careful about checking on you. And I asked Lizzy and Chich to watch out for you in my absence. She'd asked where I was back on this thread:
http://wonkette.com/461347/french-elle-praises-mi…
So as ever, please take care. I'm coming up fast on six months and there's no one I'd like to celebrate with more than my fellow traveler. See you soon!
Solidarity, brother!
Don't feel bad — you haven't abandoned me. At least, I don't feel that you have. Of course, it's more fun when we snark together, and someday hopefully you can tell me what changed (I hope it wasn't something I said!) In fact, almost a week into this experiment, I feel pretty good. Like a toxin has been removed from my system. And I don't mean Wonket, per se, but the incessant obsessing on politics and especially republican candidates all day and all night and EVEN ON FUCKING NPR I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM IT. Perhaps I'm idealizing a Golden Age that never was, but it seems as though there was a time, not too long ago, when news outlets talked about something other than republican presidential candidates, all the time. And I know that it's different for you — you deal with the unpleasant obsessing about politics for a living. Well, at least you're not a "journalist". Ugh. I'd have to kill myself.
Like you, and Kilgore Trout before you, "busy busy busy". Classes have started here, too — Statistical Physics. Only 3 of us in the class (me and two Slavs — our small university is filled disproportionately with Eastern Europeans, for some reason) , so it should be more like a seminar than a class. I'm looking forward to that.
A celebration sounds nice. Let me know the time and the place; I'll bring the fancy ginger ale.
You do understand that I feel a certain amount of loyalty to you, and not because of what you do now or what I think you might do in the future, but because of what you have already done. You appeared, out of the wilderness, at the exact moment that I needed you, and you shared my burden. We were both permanently transformed as a result. There's no going back to the way it was before that, nor would we want to. No amount of dick jokes or making fun of Nixon or whatever can take the place of that (except maybe the pun contests — those are pretty hard to beat) Perhaps our interests will diverge, going forward, and that would be sad, and I'd miss you terribly if that happened, but it might happen. Or maybe we just take a break for a while, and then find that there is some joke that we can't resist making, and then we laugh again.
All too briefly:
-Thanks. Profound thanks.
-What's odd of late is this amorphous sense that if something can go poorly or well, it will do the former. How ridiculous is this? So much so that I had to chat with my therapist about, get this, how laws of probability were violated every time I put on a shirt! Damn, backwards <i<again??</i>
-Thus far, this has been little more than observation and mild annoyance, certainly nothing to endanger my health. But I'm concerned that it could be a matter of erosion wherein my new hyper-optimistic self gradually turns. Obviously, we don't want that.
-But seriously, worry not. The ledger is still HUGELY stacked on the positive side and I'm finally able to recognize that. I'll check in periodically, and you're right. Those pun contests are epic! Abrazos, tu hermano.
Ah, yes — the Murphy Field. I have much experience in this matter. For awhile, it seemed like it might destroy me, take away my house, make me go crazy. Lately I've learned to treat it with the same superior, smug smirk that I use for everything else. Fuckin Murphy — you think you can beat ME!??! I'll show you — I'll survive!! HAHAHA!
Our buddy Solzhy had some choice words for me last night. He's so wise:
What about the main thing in life, all its riddles? If you want, I'll spell it out for you right now. Do not pursue what is illusory-property and position: all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade, and is confiscated in one fell night. Live with a steady superiority over life—-don't be afraid of misfortune, and do not yearn after happiness; it is, after all, all the same: the bitter
doesn't last forever, and the sweet never fills the cup to overflowing. It is enough if you don't freeze in the cold and if thirst and hunger don't claw at your insides. If your back isn't broken, if your feet can walk, if both arms can bend, if both eyes see, and if both ears hear, then whom should you envy? And why?
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