nutter for president

Philadelphia Mayor Tells Citizens to Stop Being ‘Idiots and A**holes’


Mayor Michael Nutter, Democrat of Philadelphia, likes to swear, but he only really swears about people who deserve it, nor does he ever apologize for his remarks, and he is therefore kind of great and should run for president. In his latest viral video attempt, Nutter made some remarks about a Tuesday shooting that killed three teens, uttering a basic truth about people who shoot people: they are “idiots and assholes.” Video evidence forthwith.

Nutter is fond of this word. He called some other gun-toting idiots from a rec center shooting incident last summer “complete assholes,” “complete” because, he argues, shooting people indoors is even more of a dick move than shooting someone out your car window.

The mayor also warned Phillies fans not to be “jackasses” following the team’s 2008 World Series win, and when the Philly police nabbed a serial killer suspect last summer, Nutter proclaimed, “We got the motherf—er!”

Says a Nutter spokesperson of Thursday’s comment: “He said what he said. He was clear about it, and he meant it. He said what everybody else was thinking…On rare occasions, the mayor will assume a somewhat earthy tone…It is never an accident. He knows what he’s saying and why.”

Of a dying breed, this one. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville
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    1. Come here a minute

      As a Washington Capitals and Nationals fan, I can vouch for the complete assholeosity and motherfuckery of any and all Philly fans.

      Also, too, what the hell is an "a**hole" or a "motherf—er"? These terms are not Wonkette-friendly.

      1. Dudleydidwrong

        Shhhh! Had to clean up the language for the little Philly readers.

        But I do applaud the mayor's earthy honesty. Must have taken elocution lessons from the Dick, Cheney, however.

    2. sunmusing

      In Denver…… we now have to say "fudge you". Or Gal durn. I'm not going to jinx Saturday with a slip of the tongue.

      1. KenLayIsAlive

        Broncos fan in Brooklyn. Grew up in Denver, among other places.

        After watching us flop for the last decade or so, that run in overtime was like … soul cleansing.

        And Tebow-shmebow. This team is about Champ Bailey and Elvis Dumervil. Tebow needs to get over himself and his lord.

        1. sunmusing

          You are right about Timmeh. I think a few lessons in the off season from St. John Elbow, and a little coaching in MEDIA relations, and I think the kid will be just fine ……….I hope and pray. I'm still a little weepy from John's retirement.

          1. KenLayIsAlive


            Warning – Long personal story to follow: I spent my whole childhood watching them go to… and lose.. super bowls with my family. I sort of drifted away from my folks and then they won that superbowl and I called them and it totally was just the little spark that started us talking again. I've got tons of weird emotional stuff wrapped up with Elway and those teams. So great though.

            I appreciate that some people think sports are like the new religion, like an opiate, and a money waster, and stupid, and they kind of are (since, like evrything else since the 1980's they've been completely corporatized) , but they're also a fundamental part of the human experience. Been around forever. They pit the best against the best in a competition. They release the desires of some of the worst parts of human nature in a completely harmless way. Sports, or war? Sports, or gangs? Sports, or street fights? And they really can mean a lot to people too.


            GO BRONCOS!

          2. sunmusing

            Yeah, the sunday blahs after a savage loss. I really didn't hold out much hope for a win OR a miracle. I think a good off season, and we are back in the playoffs with the kid. I like to think of the NFL as a top of the line UNION. I think the kid will be a great football leader or a mediocre preacher. Now….My granddaddy was a Preacher, and not really good at football. On to next year, thank goodness for the Wonkette.

  1. Chillwillard

    ..when the Philly police nabbed a serial killer suspect last summer, Nutter proclaimed, “We got the motherf—er!”

    Samuel L Jackson is the Mayor of Philadelphia?

    1. salt_bagel

      Another spokesperson said that later that night, Nutter was heard to whisper words "of a dusky quality" in his wife's ear.

  2. Walkinwiddaking

    (Cue the Shaft soundtrack) He's one bad-assed motherfucking mayor! Hey, I'm just talin' 'bout Nutter.

  3. Biff

    I don't know the political landscape of Philadelphia, but I'm surrounded by idiots and assholes out here, too.

  4. Barb

    Lol, warning Philly fans not to be "jackasses" is like making Courtney Love in charge of Olympic drug testing.

    1. faster_kittycat

      We do our best. :-)

      But to be fair, the real jackasses are from South Jersey. You have no idea.

      1. Barb

        I have a complete understanding of what you are saying. I lived in Delaware for 25 years and I am a big Philadelphia sports fan, even though I live in Albuquerque now. I have last night's Flyer's game on DVR and I am going to whoop it up tonight.

        The South Jersey jackasses are REALLY bad.

        1. smokefillednewyear

          One state over from ya–in dreadful Arizona. My dad still goes to Flyers games–I was almost named 'Kate' for fuck's sake. I actually pay for Sunday Ticket to watch Eagles games.. My husband (practically–we've lived together for 11 years) thinks I'm nuts. He hates sports. These past few weeks until the Iggles crapped out of playoff contention, it's been Skyrim vs. Eagles for control of the TV.

          1. Barb

            Smoke, both of my girls are pregnant with boys and I am hoping that one of them name their son, Kimmo (Flyer's player) It's not going to happen, lol.
            When I see Lauren-Kate singing God Bless America, I cry.

            My husband loves sports and I love sports and I would be thrilled to see your dad at a Flyer's game one of these days.

          2. faster_kittycat

            Hey Barb, I can remember Gene Hart introducing Kate Smith in person way back when at the Spectrum… He would re-tell the story with tears in his eyes. I loves me some Bobby Clarke…

            Only God saves more than Parent!

            Wonderful wishes to you and your girls.

          3. under_score

            OMG! Flyers fans represent!! I dressed as Bernie Parent one halloween (PS I'm of the female persuasion) And my family still has Eagles season tix. This season was the suck

            BUT, I am a proud South Jerseyan, so I suppose you won't talk to me any more (snif)

            (edit to add, you are right about the accent, I've lost mine)

          4. Barb

            Under_Score, welcome to the conversation, Sweetie!
            I used to go to most of the Iggle games, way more Philly games and EVERY Flyers game.
            I would go to the Halloween clearance sales and buy up all the orange Christmas-type lights and decorate the outside of my house during the playoffs. Good times!

          5. Barb

            Smoke, I got 2 autographs from Roger Neilson right before he died. Pause to clear lump in throat. I sent him a get well card and he wrote back and sent pictures.

          6. Barb

            You should have seen me when they were introducing the players during the alumni game. I was 5'10" of solid goosebumps.

          7. flamingpdog

            *Slaps self – "Don't you dare say, 'Flaccid or erect?' to Barb"!"*

            5' 6" when I stand straight and stretch out my vertebral column. But the woman I'm waiting for her husband to die is 6' 1 or 2" tall. When we used to hug, my face landed in a very nice spot.

          8. smokefillednewyear

            In the early '90s I was thrift store shopping in Philly and came across a "God Bless The Flyers" album for 25 cents. I gave it to my dad as a present and he was floored– "where did you find this?!"

          9. Barb

            I'm so excited to have Smokefillednewyear, Under_score, and Faster_kittycat as my new bitches. Guys, I'd love to see ya'll post more and mix it up with us, please. Just jump in anywhere and tell us what's on your minds, please.

            As for my "old" bitches, seriously, it's me and not you. I will refund the rent when I get the security deposit back and you can take any of the condiments in the fridge, except for the mustard. I have new friends who love a Philly soft pretzel.

      2. Gleep

        you know after 10 years of reading wonkette you've finally made me reply to something- we aren't jackasses- that term really fits those dipshits from slower Delaware better- we can't help it if every idiot from south Philly moved across the the Walt as soon as they made a few bucks….

    2. tessiee

      Isn't Philly the town where the fans *booed Santa Claus* and the hockey stadium has *its own jail*?

      My apologies if I've got that wrong, although it actually is kinda cool.

      1. Barb

        Don't come here and start rumors please. They didn't "boo" Santa. The pelted him with D cell batteries that were a part of a stadium giveaway. Booing him would just be wrong, LOL : )

      2. smokefillednewyear

        The Vet used to have its own court for unruly fans (the bulk of which were probably 700 level derelicts). I thought they threw snowballs at Santa and the batteries were a different incident? Oh who knows/cares… The Vet was an awful place to watch any sport–I remember bringing binoculars and my cousin listening to the broadcast on local radio with a walkman..
        edit: I edited the jawn.

  5. coolhandnuke

    Idiots, assholes and, and, oops I forgot the third one are the three things that make the Republican party.

  6. weejee

    Nutter has taken wing and become an honorary wingnutter. Better watch yourself James O'Keefe. Iffin' you come to Philly, be prepared for some serious bitch slappin'.

  7. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    On the other side of the country, Rick Perry would simply encourage everyone to better arm themselves.

  8. Callyson

    Never mind running for President, we need this guy at the Federal Reserve, or as Tim Geithner's replacement, stat…

      1. faster_kittycat

        I was taking Amtrak from Phila to DC in October of 2008. Who should be in my car but Mayor Nutter. Coach class, non-Acela, no special seating at all. Made me happy all over again to have voted for him.

  9. Steverino247

    Such refreshing candor from a mayor. He's right about the idiots and assholes, too, by the way.

  10. Terry

    He seems to be the perfect representative for Philadelphia. You do understand that the nickname "City of Brotherly Love" is completely ironic, right?

    1. tessiee

      "You do understand that the nickname "City of Brotherly Love" is completely ironic, right?"

      I'm still puzzling over Atlanta calling itself "The City Too Busy to Hate". I can only assume that they have poor time management skills.

      1. flamingpdog

        Sorry, the Philly porn industry has a big sign on its front door that says, "Sorry, we don't serve Necros".

  11. RebelCountess

    Here in Rochester, New York, Councilman McFadden (African-American) said something

    "The police can't stop stupid."

    1. Beowoof

      As evideneced by the number of Greece Police now in jail. Loved it when they sent the chief off to join the officers he tried to cover up for. And then his son went to jail for passing info to a drug dealer on who reported him. (For you out of towners Greece is Rochester's largest suburb).

      Adam McFadden is an interesting case also, he was hauled into jail from the East side for getting the way of cops doing their work.

  12. BerkeleyBear

    Between this guy and the highly inspirational Corey Booker, the East Coast seems to have the best blah mayors.

  13. mavenmaven

    If only the repubs had the balls to say this about Jared Laughner instead of trying hard to make him a "leftist". Even our resident troll spanky used Jared's image to call him a "liberal". So I'd say that Jared was an evil killer while spanky and his breitbart friends are idiots and a$$holes.

      1. LesBontemps

        So not a Flyers fan, obvs.

        (BTW, smokey, I'm a South Jerseyite; just remember that the Flahrs live on this side of the bridge. Back in the day, we used to see them out for pizza and beer at Rexy's.)

  14. faster_kittycat

    Truly. South Jersians even took the dreadful Philly accent and transmogrified it into pure aural hell.

  15. user-of-owls

    Have any of you struggled to find just the right word to describe Our Wonkett to people unfamiliar with it? Well now you have that perfect word:


    1. tessiee

      Yeah, but they've got their hands full putting saddles on all the Jeebus dinosaurs, so they're going to have to let it go.

  16. Negropolis

    I like the bluntness, but I've never been a fan of the guy because of who he seems to reserve the most harsh language for, and I'll leave it at that. He's one of those new Dems who tries so hard to look "fair" that he ends up overcompensating in how he doles out his criticisms.

  17. SorosBot

    Whoa, I come back home after a night out with my family to see my mayor on the Wonkette. We also went to the same high school (he graduated about a decade before me, so we didn't go together) Nutter is awesome.

    1. tessiee

      Since you said "bring it", I vote that the debate be moderated by Patrick Warburton a/k/a Joe Swanson.

  18. poncho_pilot

    can we vote for "Don't Act Like idiots And Assholes" as a replacement for In God We Trust? makes more sense and those truly are words to live by.

  19. DahBoner

    I was in Philly for the first time last month.

    I was shocked that block after block was nothing but "row houses".

    Can you imagine, living cheek-to-jowl with everyone, with not a blade of grass in sight?


  20. FakaktaSouth

    As an unfortunate chronic swearer (I'm trying so hard to stop, but its even outlived smoking as a habit for me) I like this guy's style. He didn't say THESE GUYS ARE ASSHOLES!!! He said it in the "calm, natural, this is so obvious – these people are idiots and assholes and we all know it" way, with a big ol derisive face. I can dig it.

    Also, there was a segment on The Maddow last night where she was talking about NOAH, and did the thing where she orates a brilliant thesis paper basically and starts with a thing in everyday life and then brings it around to how actual government policy is involved. ANYway, she did this with the "two realities" we have in this country that I and MANY of my co-whatthefuckers around here talk about a lot – you know the one where Republicans talk about how Obama has grown government in spite of the reality of his plans to reduce the number of agencies, or how Dems are always soft on crime (what up Haley Barbour, WHO killed Osama?). The segment ends with her talking to Ezra Klein (love) and it is a powerful convo that made me cry over my ipod, and if you didn't catch it, you should – I was doing the church call and respond thing while they were talking, HMmhum. Yes, that's right. Amen Rachel…It's worth a watch, truly. I love smart people. Sorry about the commercial at the beginning.

    1. Rotundo_

      For the briefest of moments I thought you said Obscenity is the *crotch* of inarticulate fuckers." which in its own warped way works as well.

  21. Botyfltiger

    I am to think that most of you who are saying this man is a great mayor, solely because he cusses, do not live in the city he is the mayor of. He lacks and he lacks a lot. He made promises that he has yet to even talk about and has done more damage to the city with his 'bad ass attitude" no one wants to build jobs here, no new companies will even look at our plentiful real estate because of him being our mayor. Also stating the obvious does not make one a presidential candidate.

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