nutter for president

Philadelphia Mayor Tells Citizens to Stop Being ‘Idiots and A**holes’

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Mayor Michael Nutter, Democrat of Philadelphia, likes to swear, but he only really swears about people who deserve it, nor does he ever apologize for his remarks, and he is therefore kind of great and should run for president. In his latest viral video attempt, Nutter made some remarks about a Tuesday shooting that killed three teens, uttering a basic truth about people who shoot people: they are “idiots and assholes.” Video evidence forthwith.

Nutter is fond of this word. He called some other gun-toting idiots from a rec center shooting incident last summer “complete assholes,” “complete” because, he argues, shooting people indoors is even more of a dick move than shooting someone out your car window.

The mayor also warned Phillies fans not to be “jackasses” following the team’s 2008 World Series win, and when the Philly police nabbed a serial killer suspect last summer, Nutter proclaimed, “We got the motherf—er!”

Says a Nutter spokesperson of Thursday’s comment: “He said what he said. He was clear about it, and he meant it. He said what everybody else was thinking…On rare occasions, the mayor will assume a somewhat earthy tone…It is never an accident. He knows what he’s saying and why.”

Of a dying breed, this one. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

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About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    As a NY Giants fan, I agree.

    • smokefillednewyear

      Have fun at Lambeau! Hopefully the G-Men get their act together before the end of the 3rd quarter!
      –Disgruntled Eagles Idiot/Asshole

      • nounverb911

        I'm hoping for a blizzard.

        • Swampgas_Man

          I've been keeping my snowballs in the freezer since the LAST blizzard.

        • smokefillednewyear

          Wow… I'm eating crow.

          • nounverb911

            That's okay, I'm in shock.

    • Come here a minute

      As a Washington Capitals and Nationals fan, I can vouch for the complete assholeosity and motherfuckery of any and all Philly fans.

      Also, too, what the hell is an "a**hole" or a "motherf—er"? These terms are not Wonkette-friendly.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Shhhh! Had to clean up the language for the little Philly readers.

        But I do applaud the mayor's earthy honesty. Must have taken elocution lessons from the Dick, Cheney, however.

    • sunmusing

      In Denver…… we now have to say "fudge you". Or Gal durn. I'm not going to jinx Saturday with a slip of the tongue.

      • flamingpdog

        Reeeally? I'm in the Denver area, too, and I'm a Warshington Deadskins fan. BWA HA HA HA HA!!!

      • KenLayIsAlive

        Broncos fan in Brooklyn. Grew up in Denver, among other places.

        After watching us flop for the last decade or so, that run in overtime was like … soul cleansing.

        And Tebow-shmebow. This team is about Champ Bailey and Elvis Dumervil. Tebow needs to get over himself and his lord.

        • sunmusing

          You are right about Timmeh. I think a few lessons in the off season from St. John Elbow, and a little coaching in MEDIA relations, and I think the kid will be just fine ……….I hope and pray. I'm still a little weepy from John's retirement.

          • KenLayIsAlive


            Warning – Long personal story to follow: I spent my whole childhood watching them go to… and lose.. super bowls with my family. I sort of drifted away from my folks and then they won that superbowl and I called them and it totally was just the little spark that started us talking again. I've got tons of weird emotional stuff wrapped up with Elway and those teams. So great though.

            I appreciate that some people think sports are like the new religion, like an opiate, and a money waster, and stupid, and they kind of are (since, like evrything else since the 1980's they've been completely corporatized) , but they're also a fundamental part of the human experience. Been around forever. They pit the best against the best in a competition. They release the desires of some of the worst parts of human nature in a completely harmless way. Sports, or war? Sports, or gangs? Sports, or street fights? And they really can mean a lot to people too.


            GO BRONCOS!

          • sunmusing

            Yeah, the sunday blahs after a savage loss. I really didn't hold out much hope for a win OR a miracle. I think a good off season, and we are back in the playoffs with the kid. I like to think of the NFL as a top of the line UNION. I think the kid will be a great football leader or a mediocre preacher. Now….My granddaddy was a Preacher, and not really good at football. On to next year, thank goodness for the Wonkette.

          • smokefillednewyear

            That was beautiful.

  • Chillwillard

    ..when the Philly police nabbed a serial killer suspect last summer, Nutter proclaimed, “We got the motherf—er!”

    Samuel L Jackson is the Mayor of Philadelphia?

    • Not_So_Much

      The serial killer was a motherfucking snake on a motherfucking plane?

      • Chillwillard

        "Philly English, motherfucker, do you speak it???"

        • Jukesgrrl

          Great avatar, Chillwillard.

          • Chillwillard

            Thanks, Jukes! Got it here.

    • emmelemm

      I'd vote for that!

      (I don't live in Philadelphia, tho.)

    • dailyworldwatch

      Brotha got angree, I guess…

    • tcaalaw

      I'd move to Philadelphia for that.

  • Barb

    City of Blah-therly Love!

  • flamingpdog

    Idiots and assholes? How did he know these thugs were Republicans?

    • Mahousu

      The guns?

      Or, more precisely, the careless use of them.

  • smokefillednewyear

    From now on, Nutter should just substitute "asshole" for "citizen".

    • C_R_Eature

      "Friends, Assholes, Countrymen! Lend me your… HEY!
      Stop throwing shit, Motherfuckers!"

      • Loaded_Pants

        Was that from the first draft?

        • C_R_Eature

          Transcript from first Focus Group testing

  • nounverb911

    "Sometimes you feel like a Nutter, sometimes you don't."

  • flamingpdog

    I'll have a Nutter one, thank you!

  • iburl

    "On rare occasions, the mayor will assume a somewhat earthy tone…"


    • salt_bagel

      Another spokesperson said that later that night, Nutter was heard to whisper words "of a dusky quality" in his wife's ear.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Is earthy like urban?

      • flamingpdog


  • Walkinwiddaking

    (Cue the Shaft soundtrack) He's one bad-assed motherfucking mayor! Hey, I'm just talin' 'bout Nutter.

    • tessiee

      And we can dig it!

  • WinterOuthouse

    Have another nutter peanut butter sandwich cookie

  • BarackMyWorld

    Well, sheee-it!

    • not that Dewey

      You gotta keep the devil way down in the hole.

  • ttommyunger

    If anyone can get away with calling a spade a spade, it's a ….blah.

    • Botyfltiger

      Yeah just like a cracker can get away with calling another cracker a saltine right…?

  • Biff

    I don't know the political landscape of Philadelphia, but I'm surrounded by idiots and assholes out here, too.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Are you in VA?

      • Biff

        No, NV. Same idiots and assholes, different accent.

        • Loaded_Pants

          True dat. But what I should have asked is: "Are you a member of VA's General Aseembly?"

        • Ben Cisco

          They're dry assholes then?

  • Barb

    Lol, warning Philly fans not to be "jackasses" is like making Courtney Love in charge of Olympic drug testing.

    • faster_kittycat

      We do our best. :-)

      But to be fair, the real jackasses are from South Jersey. You have no idea.

      • Barb

        I have a complete understanding of what you are saying. I lived in Delaware for 25 years and I am a big Philadelphia sports fan, even though I live in Albuquerque now. I have last night's Flyer's game on DVR and I am going to whoop it up tonight.

        The South Jersey jackasses are REALLY bad.

        • faster_kittycat

          I knew you must have been a neighbor!! Hope all is well with you.

          • Barb

            Thanks, Faster_Kitty. Good to see you here and I hope you will continue to post, please.

        • smokefillednewyear

          One state over from ya–in dreadful Arizona. My dad still goes to Flyers games–I was almost named 'Kate' for fuck's sake. I actually pay for Sunday Ticket to watch Eagles games.. My husband (practically–we've lived together for 11 years) thinks I'm nuts. He hates sports. These past few weeks until the Iggles crapped out of playoff contention, it's been Skyrim vs. Eagles for control of the TV.

          • Barb

            Smoke, both of my girls are pregnant with boys and I am hoping that one of them name their son, Kimmo (Flyer's player) It's not going to happen, lol.
            When I see Lauren-Kate singing God Bless America, I cry.

            My husband loves sports and I love sports and I would be thrilled to see your dad at a Flyer's game one of these days.

          • faster_kittycat

            Hey Barb, I can remember Gene Hart introducing Kate Smith in person way back when at the Spectrum… He would re-tell the story with tears in his eyes. I loves me some Bobby Clarke…

            Only God saves more than Parent!

            Wonderful wishes to you and your girls.

          • smokefillednewyear

            My dad has a puck signed by Bernie that he's had since the 70's–one of his most prized possessions.

          • under_score

            OMG! Flyers fans represent!! I dressed as Bernie Parent one halloween (PS I'm of the female persuasion) And my family still has Eagles season tix. This season was the suck

            BUT, I am a proud South Jerseyan, so I suppose you won't talk to me any more (snif)

            (edit to add, you are right about the accent, I've lost mine)

          • Barb

            Under_Score, welcome to the conversation, Sweetie!
            I used to go to most of the Iggle games, way more Philly games and EVERY Flyers game.
            I would go to the Halloween clearance sales and buy up all the orange Christmas-type lights and decorate the outside of my house during the playoffs. Good times!

          • Barb

            Smoke, I got 2 autographs from Roger Neilson right before he died. Pause to clear lump in throat. I sent him a get well card and he wrote back and sent pictures.

          • smokefillednewyear

            (my cat just typed that. I guess she wanted to say hi!)

            What a treasure.. Truly a great–he really changed the game.

          • Barb

            You should have seen me when they were introducing the players during the alumni game. I was 5'10" of solid goosebumps.

          • flamingpdog

            Oh my, I'd always pictured you as shorter than me. Now I'm really in love!

          • Barb

            Nope, I am 5'10". How tall are you?

          • flamingpdog

            *Slaps self – "Don't you dare say, 'Flaccid or erect?' to Barb"!"*

            5' 6" when I stand straight and stretch out my vertebral column. But the woman I'm waiting for her husband to die is 6' 1 or 2" tall. When we used to hug, my face landed in a very nice spot.

          • Barb

            My father was 6' 9". I remember that he had to tilt his head to get through a doorway.

          • smokefillednewyear

            In the early '90s I was thrift store shopping in Philly and came across a "God Bless The Flyers" album for 25 cents. I gave it to my dad as a present and he was floored– "where did you find this?!"

          • Barb

            I'm so excited to have Smokefillednewyear, Under_score, and Faster_kittycat as my new bitches. Guys, I'd love to see ya'll post more and mix it up with us, please. Just jump in anywhere and tell us what's on your minds, please.

            As for my "old" bitches, seriously, it's me and not you. I will refund the rent when I get the security deposit back and you can take any of the condiments in the fridge, except for the mustard. I have new friends who love a Philly soft pretzel.

          • Gunner Asch

            Dibs on the 6 year old horseradish

      • Gleep

        you know after 10 years of reading wonkette you've finally made me reply to something- we aren't jackasses- that term really fits those dipshits from slower Delaware better- we can't help it if every idiot from south Philly moved across the the Walt as soon as they made a few bucks….

    • tessiee

      Isn't Philly the town where the fans *booed Santa Claus* and the hockey stadium has *its own jail*?

      My apologies if I've got that wrong, although it actually is kinda cool.

      • Barb

        Don't come here and start rumors please. They didn't "boo" Santa. The pelted him with D cell batteries that were a part of a stadium giveaway. Booing him would just be wrong, LOL : )

      • smokefillednewyear

        The Vet used to have its own court for unruly fans (the bulk of which were probably 700 level derelicts). I thought they threw snowballs at Santa and the batteries were a different incident? Oh who knows/cares… The Vet was an awful place to watch any sport–I remember bringing binoculars and my cousin listening to the broadcast on local radio with a walkman..
        edit: I edited the jawn.

  • coolhandnuke

    Idiots, assholes and, and, oops I forgot the third one are the three things that make the Republican party.

    • Karma_Suture

      I saw what you did there

  • weejee

    Nutter has taken wing and become an honorary wingnutter. Better watch yourself James O'Keefe. Iffin' you come to Philly, be prepared for some serious bitch slappin'.

  • flamingpdog

    I bet he never has any problems getting a mother-fucking iced tea.

  • WinterOuthouse

    I'm shocked that a politician in 2012 would use this rough and tumble language

    • flamingpdog

      Not so much so in 1972.

      • Loaded_Pants

        40 years of progress!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    On the other side of the country, Rick Perry would simply encourage everyone to better arm themselves.

  • littlebigdaddy

    He could teach Barry a thing or two.

    • KenLayIsAlive

      I do often feel that Barry lost his nutters just after 2008.

  • Callyson

    Never mind running for President, we need this guy at the Federal Reserve, or as Tim Geithner's replacement, stat…

    • flamingpdog

      Or Tim Geithner's arresting officer.

  • Not_So_Much

    I fuckin' like this guy! Politicians everywhere — feel free to emulate.

    • starfanglednut

      I too think he's awesome.

      • faster_kittycat

        I was taking Amtrak from Phila to DC in October of 2008. Who should be in my car but Mayor Nutter. Coach class, non-Acela, no special seating at all. Made me happy all over again to have voted for him.

        • MissNancyPriss

          That is totally awesome.

    • Loaded_Pants

      I would love the hear what the GOP Presidential candidates call each other in their heads.

      • flamingpdog

        They're too busy calling all the voices in their own heads nasty names.

  • Steverino247

    Such refreshing candor from a mayor. He's right about the idiots and assholes, too, by the way.

  • MissTaken

    Me likey!

  • Radiotherapy

    Have a nuther nutter butter peanut butter sandwich cookie.

  • BarackMyWorld
    • flamingpdog

      Dick Cheney is laughing his ass off.

    • YouBetcha

      I'm pretty sure The Herp isn't as deadly as he thinks it is.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Ha ha…the blah man's version of Rahm!

  • Indiepalin

    Why does Nutter hate the Second Amendment?

    • sezme

      He just loves the First Amendment more.

  • Terry

    He seems to be the perfect representative for Philadelphia. You do understand that the nickname "City of Brotherly Love" is completely ironic, right?

    • tessiee

      "You do understand that the nickname "City of Brotherly Love" is completely ironic, right?"

      I'm still puzzling over Atlanta calling itself "The City Too Busy to Hate". I can only assume that they have poor time management skills.

  • Indiepalin

    Nutter once held a job as a fluffer in the Philly porn industry.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Don't tell me, let me guess…they specialize in necrophilia and coprophilia?

      • flamingpdog

        Sorry, the Philly porn industry has a big sign on its front door that says, "Sorry, we don't serve Necros".

    • tessiee

      So, the director was heard to say, "where is my fluffer, Nutter?"

  • JustPixelz

    No flag pin. And isn't he supposed to say "And God bless the United States of America" after few sentences?

    • DerrickWildcat

      and, "Support our troops!."

  • RebelCountess

    Here in Rochester, New York, Councilman McFadden (African-American) said something

    "The police can't stop stupid."

    • Jukesgrrl

      Or as policeman once said to my brother — who had some use a battering ram on his front door when he was HOME — "Crime doesn't have any IQ."

    • Beowoof

      As evideneced by the number of Greece Police now in jail. Loved it when they sent the chief off to join the officers he tried to cover up for. And then his son went to jail for passing info to a drug dealer on who reported him. (For you out of towners Greece is Rochester's largest suburb).

      Adam McFadden is an interesting case also, he was hauled into jail from the East side for getting the way of cops doing their work.

  • Donner, Party of 1

    Is there no problem that calculated profanity can't solve? I say fuck no.

  • CommieLibunatic

    To be fair, "asshole" is like the perfect swear word.

  • BerkeleyBear

    Between this guy and the highly inspirational Corey Booker, the East Coast seems to have the best blah mayors.

    • Limeylizzie

      I love Corey Booker did you see that TV series about Newark? He is wonderful.

  • Chillwillard

    Mayor Michael Nutter, Democrat of Philadelphia…

    Finally, a Democrat with nutters!

  • starfanglednut

    I've fuckin never heard a motherfucker swear so goddam motherfuckin cocksucking fuckin bullshit fuckin much in my goddam motherfuckin life! Shit.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Needs moar fuckin'.

    • Callyson

      Are you me? That's what I say whenever I watch Republican presidential debates…

  • Donner, Party of 1

    I knew this was going to happen when Richard Pryor made cussing seem cool.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Bill Cosby approves this comment.

  • DrunkIrishman

    I just busted a nut for Nutter.

    • littlebigdaddy

      TMI, dude.

    • Sharkey

      Today, we are all Nutters.

  • mavenmaven

    If only the repubs had the balls to say this about Jared Laughner instead of trying hard to make him a "leftist". Even our resident troll spanky used Jared's image to call him a "liberal". So I'd say that Jared was an evil killer while spanky and his breitbart friends are idiots and a$$holes.

  • michaeledits

    I'm thrilled he said it. Did they listen?

  • Wonderthing

    Making it real.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Word Up Nutter

  • Donner, Party of 1

    In other news, Obama donated another five million to Newt's SuperPAC.

  • JackObin

    Assholes? In America? That's enough to drive the Romney boy to drink.

    • Jukesgrrl

      He wouldn't go that far. He might tie one of them on his car roof though.

  • YouBetcha

    I'd hit that.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Careful…once you go blah….

    • SorosBot

      Sadly (for you) he's happily married.

      • YouBetcha

        Yeah, so am I. But I'm a liberal, and therefore, no family values, etc. etc.

  • meatlofer

    At least he didn't piss on anybody.

    • smokefillednewyear

      Or puke on anybody.

      • LesBontemps

        So not a Flyers fan, obvs.

        (BTW, smokey, I'm a South Jerseyite; just remember that the Flahrs live on this side of the bridge. Back in the day, we used to see them out for pizza and beer at Rexy's.)

  • faster_kittycat

    Truly. South Jersians even took the dreadful Philly accent and transmogrified it into pure aural hell.

  • Chet Kincaid

    He sounds like Billy Crystal doing Sammy Davis Jr.

  • Bluestatelibel

    Philly fans ARE assholes, so he's right on that. I support this blah person.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    I think I love him. He needs some brown TruckNutterz on his Escalade.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Why isn't this guy moderating the GOP debates?

  • Nostrildamus

    Everyone in Phildelphia is a dying breed.

  • PuglyDoRight

    I bet he likes motherf***ing iced tea.

  • user-of-owls

    Say what you will about Nutter, but how many other mayors have famous syndicated cartoon characters based on them…and their moms?!

    • emmelemm

      I love Mutts! Such the best ever.

      • user-of-owls

        And Crabby = The Best of the Lot!

  • user-of-owls

    Have any of you struggled to find just the right word to describe Our Wonkett to people unfamiliar with it? Well now you have that perfect word:


    • starfanglednut

      I have actually stopped telling my friends about it. They didn't listen, and now it's my special place that I don't want to share with them.

  • BZ1

    says what he means, apparently …

  • mrblifil

    The Idiot and Asshole Museum is not happy about this.

    • tessiee

      Yeah, but they've got their hands full putting saddles on all the Jeebus dinosaurs, so they're going to have to let it go.

  • Negropolis

    I like the bluntness, but I've never been a fan of the guy because of who he seems to reserve the most harsh language for, and I'll leave it at that. He's one of those new Dems who tries so hard to look "fair" that he ends up overcompensating in how he doles out his criticisms.

    • AddHomonym

      Don't spoil our fun with, you know, facts and stuff.

  • tealsheart

    Captain Nutter. He's a bad NutterFucker.

    The brother from anutter mother

  • Jukesgrrl

    Snooki and The Situation talk worse than that about their friends … during "FCC family time."

  • SorosBot

    Whoa, I come back home after a night out with my family to see my mayor on the Wonkette. We also went to the same high school (he graduated about a decade before me, so we didn't go together) Nutter is awesome.

  • SorosBot

    We just reelected him, so no, people like the guy.

  • MissNancyPriss

    Mayor Nutter is the bomb.

  • dkmvs_com

    Shared this story on the dick move site because the Mayor argued, "shooting people indoors is even more of a dick move than shooting someone out your car window" hahaha,

  • fuflans

    rahm vs nutter smackdown:

    bring it.

    • tessiee

      Since you said "bring it", I vote that the debate be moderated by Patrick Warburton a/k/a Joe Swanson.

  • poncho_pilot

    can we vote for "Don't Act Like idiots And Assholes" as a replacement for In God We Trust? makes more sense and those truly are words to live by.

  • gurukalehuru

    Fucking Nutter.

  • DahBoner

    I was in Philly for the first time last month.

    I was shocked that block after block was nothing but "row houses".

    Can you imagine, living cheek-to-jowl with everyone, with not a blade of grass in sight?


  • FakaktaSouth

    As an unfortunate chronic swearer (I'm trying so hard to stop, but its even outlived smoking as a habit for me) I like this guy's style. He didn't say THESE GUYS ARE ASSHOLES!!! He said it in the "calm, natural, this is so obvious – these people are idiots and assholes and we all know it" way, with a big ol derisive face. I can dig it.

    Also, there was a segment on The Maddow last night where she was talking about NOAH, and did the thing where she orates a brilliant thesis paper basically and starts with a thing in everyday life and then brings it around to how actual government policy is involved. ANYway, she did this with the "two realities" we have in this country that I and MANY of my co-whatthefuckers around here talk about a lot – you know the one where Republicans talk about how Obama has grown government in spite of the reality of his plans to reduce the number of agencies, or how Dems are always soft on crime (what up Haley Barbour, WHO killed Osama?). The segment ends with her talking to Ezra Klein (love) and it is a powerful convo that made me cry over my ipod, and if you didn't catch it, you should – I was doing the church call and respond thing while they were talking, HMmhum. Yes, that's right. Amen Rachel…It's worth a watch, truly. I love smart people. Sorry about the commercial at the beginning.

  • tessiee

    As Shakespeare so famously said, "Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate fuckers".

    • Rotundo_

      For the briefest of moments I thought you said Obscenity is the *crotch* of inarticulate fuckers." which in its own warped way works as well.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Don't you mean Sarah Palin?

      • tessiee

        An easy mistake to make, but no. Sarah Palin IS an inarticulate fucker.

  • Botyfltiger

    I am to think that most of you who are saying this man is a great mayor, solely because he cusses, do not live in the city he is the mayor of. He lacks and he lacks a lot. He made promises that he has yet to even talk about and has done more damage to the city with his 'bad ass attitude" no one wants to build jobs here, no new companies will even look at our plentiful real estate because of him being our mayor. Also stating the obvious does not make one a presidential candidate.

  • OldRedneck

    Mayor Nutter for VP in 2012; President in 2016 and 2020.

  • Sharkey

    Nutts to this!

  • Beowoof

    Good advice.