COMEDIANS ARE CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE TOO  11:15 am January 13, 2012

Stephen Colbert Is ‘Exploring’ Running for President

by Liz Colville

Stephen Colbert announced on Thursday night’s show that yessireebob, he is running for president! Again! That is to say, to bow to tradition, he’s exploring running for president, and spent basically the entire show minus the interview segment learning from his lawyer (and former Federal Election Commission chairman) Trevor Potter about the very uncomplicated exploratory process and how he might hand over control of his super PAC — which, by the way, is both the second and third results for “super pac” on Google — to someone else. That someone else being his close personal friend and “business partner” Jon Stewart. Ah, so that’s how both experienced ex-robbers and windbags from congressional obscurity get to be presidential candidates that people truly vote for and sometimes nurture into actual presidents.

Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow Super PAC, as it was known, will henceforth be called The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC after Colbert handed over the fundraising machine to Stewart in an Incredible Hulk-like transfer of power. This was preceded by both Colbert and Stewart signing a one-page double-spaced document, which is apparently all it takes to start one of these things. The super PAC has been raising money since last summer. Colbert has declined to tell anyone how much. But suffice it to say it’s somewhere in the seven-figure range, because when Colbert wrote it down on a piece of paper, Stewart tried gleefully to lick the paper.

Some weird facts about all this! Colbert, who was also on the ballot in South Carolina in 2008, actually only said he’ll be running for “President of the United States of South Carolina,” his home state, and a place where a recent PPP poll shows him performing better than Jon Huntsman. ALSO, the former treasurer of the Colbert Super PAC, Salvatore Purpura, is now the treasurer for Rick Perry’s campaign (he jumped ship in August). Purpura also served in that capacity during George W. Bush’s reelection campaign and John McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign. AHHHHH, Stephen, you’re starting to scare us. But then that’s the idea.

Some of the super PAC money has gone to some pretty hilarious places — this ad urging people to vote for “Rick Parry” comes to mind — but it’s gone to some useful/educational/eye-opening places as well. From the New York Times Magazine’s recent profile of Colbert:

In October, Colbert offered the Republican Party in South Carolina $400,000 to defray the cost of the presidential primary there in January in return for naming rights — he wanted the ballots, the lanyards, the press credentials to say “The Stephen Colbert Super PAC South Carolina Primary” — and for a nonbinding referendum question that asked the voters to decide whether “corporations are people” or “only people are people.”

The only thing stopping Colbert in 2008 was lack of funds, and while there may already be a moneyed muffin doing a great job of attacking “the status quo” whilst making us laugh, it would be nice if the person attacking the status quo wasn’t also it itself. [Chicago Sun-Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 173 comments }

Barb January 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

I can't wait to see "truthiness" added to the constitution.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 11:55 am

We hold these truthinesses to be self evident…

Barb January 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

For those who want to argue separation of church and state, Yahweh or No Way!

user-of-owls January 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

Iowa Mix: My Weh or the highway.

PsycWench January 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Truthiness will set you free!

nounverb911 January 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

Colbert/Barb 2012!

Barb January 13, 2012 at 11:36 am

I want you as my Secretary of Fun!

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

Ooh! Ooh! I want to be Secretary of Drinks and "Nudge-Nudge" Jokes!

Please?

Dashboard_Jesus January 15, 2012 at 1:08 am

oh oh, can I be Minister of Silly Walks, has that been sold/ appointed yet?

C_R_Eature January 15, 2012 at 8:01 am

You'll have to see VP Candidate Barb about that. I think I saw her going into the Argument Clinic.

elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 11:44 am

I respectfully nominate myself to be Lord God Queen of the Buttsecksay Bumptious Boudoir.

Barb January 13, 2012 at 11:46 am

Long live my Queen! Your Virgo will be my top chief.

user-of-owls January 13, 2012 at 11:54 am

Sorry, my fabulous friend. You disqualified yourself from any and all Cabinet appointments in perpetuity by using the term, "respectfully."

elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Fine. "Respectfully"*

*not intended as a factual statement.

MildMidwesterner January 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

As someone from "Flyover Country" who is not as privilaged as the East Coast intellectuals, may I be Secretary of the Inferior?

Barb January 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Mild has the position!

flamingpdog January 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Is there an opening for Secretary of Buttsechs?

Barb January 13, 2012 at 12:27 pm

What kind of crap is this? Where is my bribe, friend? Okay, you are IN and IN.

PsycWench January 13, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Barb! That's a valuable fucking thing you got there! You don't just give it away for free!

FlownOver January 13, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Ooh! Ooh! I dibs Director General of the Bureau of Early Bird Specials (formerly the Social Security Administration)!

… that is, if it please you, ma'am.

Barb January 13, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Done and done, FlownOver. welcome to the crew.

Geminisunmars January 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Can I head the brand new cabinet post of "The Small Boob Administration"?

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Just so you know – You should be prepared to be called to testify before Congress's Itty-Bitty Tittie Committee.
I think Don Young's on that one, sometimes.

flamingpdog January 13, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Oh, can I be Inspector General in your Department, pleeeease?

Dashboard Buddha January 13, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Can I be the deputy undersecretary to the assistant of snark?

Barb January 13, 2012 at 5:33 pm

You shall be royalty, Dashboard Buddha!

Dashboard Buddha January 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

You mean…I can be a Prince of Snark?

Barb January 14, 2012 at 12:45 am

You will be dubbed, Royal Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Garter and thigh-high black lace stockings and Prince of Snark.

Maman January 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

It is a shame that satire is lost on the Republican party

Gratuitous World January 13, 2012 at 11:39 am

that would require a touch of self-awareness and an avoidance of kneejerk cruelty, fantasy victimization and undaunting ignorance: the 3 pillars of the GOP.

LesBontemps January 13, 2012 at 11:54 am

Lost? They murdered it, in cold blood.

Dashboard Buddha January 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

satire…morality…ethics…fair play…honesty…open mindedness and on and on and on on on.

There's so much lost on the GOP I'm surprised we can find it at all.

PsycWench January 13, 2012 at 11:36 am

Steven Colbert can't be a politician from South Carolina. He hasn't had any sex scandals.

elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

COLBERT/SYBIAN 2012!

jus_wonderin January 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

I think this is the reason SC livestock can't talk.

Guppy January 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

That whole transfer thing wasn't "sparkin'" enough for you?

a_pink_poodle January 13, 2012 at 12:44 pm

He'll just Photoshop his head on a sex picture, no biggy. A gay sex picture if he's running as a Republican.

MzNicky January 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I volunteer to help him out with that.

Chillwillard January 13, 2012 at 11:36 am

I'm perfectly okay with this because:
1. Just like with the other candidates, Wingnuts can't tell that he's not serious about running. The "Conservatives don't get Colbert" meme lives on.
2. Colbert will likely end up taking votes away from Mittens.
3. It will continue (even though they don't need Colbert for this) to show how ridiculous the GOP -and the Electoral system in general- really is.
4. It will piss off the few "smart" Conservatives out there.
5. All of 'em, Katie.

BaldarTFlagass January 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

To steal Kinky Friedman's campaign slogan, Why the Hell Not?

not that Dewey January 13, 2012 at 12:21 pm

or "Governor of Texas — How Hard Could It Be?"

PuglyDoRight January 13, 2012 at 4:05 pm

That was a gem.

Gratuitous World January 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

tip of the hat!

Barb January 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

Wag of the finger.

user-of-owls January 13, 2012 at 11:50 am

Curl of the lip.

OneDollarJuana January 13, 2012 at 11:54 am

Lick of the spittle.

OC_Surf_Serf January 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

Stroke of the pen.

user-of-owls January 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

Heat of the moment.

weejee January 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

Hair of the chinny, chin, chin.

flamingpdog January 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

US OF THE A! USA OF THE A! US OF THE A!!!1!

Terry January 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

Good Lord, I hope he wins the SC primary.

memzilla January 13, 2012 at 11:38 am

…[Colbert] only said he’ll be running for “President of the United States of South Carolina"

If Colbert runs for "President of the Confederacy of South Carolina," he'll win in a Klandslide.

Dashboard Buddha January 13, 2012 at 12:43 pm

heh…klanslide.

BaldarTFlagass January 13, 2012 at 11:38 am

Wait a minute. The Republican Party turned down $400K? I think I am going to faint.

memzilla January 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

The bills were crisp, marked, and in sequential order. They only said "Get us different bills."

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 11:54 am

They wanted gold Krugerrands. None of this "Fiat Currency".

Guppy January 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

The Party didn't turn it down. Rather the courts said the Party couldn't sell what they wanted to sell.

Preferred Customer January 13, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Yet another reason to abolish the courts. Always getting in the way of kleptocracy, with their fancy rules and whatnot.

Barb January 13, 2012 at 11:38 am

When Stephen was only 10 years-old, his dad and 2 brothers died in a plane crash.
If you ever have a chance to see a taping of his show you will be richly rewarded with the time of your life. I've done it twice and he's so amazing that it will break your heart.

lizcolville January 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

Awww…I need to do this!

Barb January 13, 2012 at 11:50 am

Liz, go to his website occasionally and tickets open up once a month. The audience is really small and the wait is fun. Stephen comes out and throws candy and "wrist strong" bracelets and will have a copy of his book "I Am America and So Can You" beneath your seat. He hangs around and will autograph it after the show
http://www.ehow.com/how_2046684_get-tickets-the-c

Mojopo January 13, 2012 at 12:21 pm

He does autographs? I love him more now. David Sedaris does, too. Either of these men could blow off book signings but they still reach reach out to their fans. That – to me – is classy. Love them forever.

LesBontemps January 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

If you've done it twice, which one was the time of your life?

(I know — all of 'em, Katie.)

Barb January 13, 2012 at 12:10 pm

They were both fun. I enjoyed donating to his Super PAC and seeing my name on the scroll at the bottom of the show. He was about to go on vacation and I was afraid we were going to have to wait and it appeared in the last 2 minutes of the show.

Geminisunmars January 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Gawd I love that man. I wish I could get to one of his shows. Maybe someday…

Barb January 14, 2012 at 12:47 am

How close are you to N.Y.?

Geminisunmars January 14, 2012 at 11:07 am

Colorado. Not so close. And travel is not possible at this time. So I shall continue to adore him (and you) from afar.

Barb January 14, 2012 at 6:25 pm

You are so sweet. Kisses!

paris biltong January 13, 2012 at 12:19 pm

With all due respect, I'm a little taken aback by the apparent non sequitur in your comment. Did the fact that his dad and brothers died have something to do with your having the time of your life?

Barb January 13, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Well, since you asked this odd question. I am fascinated that a man who has known such heartache could be so funny, upbeat and positive. Too many people let their tragedies define them and they become bitter people who can't grow and develop because they are crippled by it.

His family dying didn't add to my enjoyment.

Dashboard_Jesus January 15, 2012 at 1:39 am

James Island (next to Charleston, SC) where Colbert grew up is right next to Johns Island where I've spent a bit of time over the years working on Habitat for Humanity homes…ironically (or something like that?) Johns Island is home to some of the poorest (black) folks in S.C. and also some of the richest (white) assholes in the USA…most of the poor blacks live in ramshackle huts/ cabins that look like they date from the plantation days and the 1% douchebags live in multi-million $$$ homes in the guarded, gated community known as Kiaweh Island with multiple golf courses and fancy shops for the assholes to fritter away their millions while impressing each other by driving around in Mercedes, Porsches and Rolls Royces…and the *funny* ting is that these rich white assholes HAVE to drive past all the poor black folks' shacks on their way from the airport to their luxury villas…my guess is that Stephen was astute enough at a young age to notice the disparity and inequality in his own back yard, his testimony in Congress was evidence of his compassion for the 'least of our brothers and sisters'…thanks for sharing, not only is he funny as hell but he seems like a really, REALLY decent human being…peace

Stephen Colbert Speaks Up for Farm Workers as Himself http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zpOQq4VjPo

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 11:39 am

How dare Colbert make a mockery of our electoral system? That's supposed to be the job of the candidates themselves, oh and the Supreme Court!

Barb January 13, 2012 at 11:39 am

Stephen is also deaf in one ear. That will be the ear he can turn toward the GOP.

OCcupied_Surf_Serf January 13, 2012 at 11:50 am

The straight one or the ear that flops over?

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm

It's the Floppy one, if you must know.

Guppy January 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm

What, was it from the time he saved his brother from drowning after breaking through the ice?

PsycWench January 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

They might notice. They know all about turning deaf ears.

flamingpdog January 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

What?

user-of-owls January 13, 2012 at 11:40 am

Stephen Colbert is NOT this generation's Pat Paulsen.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Will Rogers maybe?

Geminisunmars January 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I wanted to write "and then some", but WR was pretty cool and important in his day.

OC_Surf_Serf January 13, 2012 at 11:40 am

Stephen could really mess up the results in SC.

Said like it's a really a good thing…

Oblios_Cap January 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow Super PAC, as it was known, will henceforth be called The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC after Colbert handed over the fundraising machine to Stewart in an Incredible Hulk-like transfer of power.

That's so fucking awesome.

Generation[redacted] January 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

The law, in its majestic equality, allows both rich and poor to anonymously donate unlimited amounts of money to a SuperPAC. Won't you anonymously donate $1 million, $5 million, or however many millions you can afford today?

ThundercatHo January 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

Please, please, please, let him in the next debate.

anniegetyerfun January 13, 2012 at 11:54 am

I'm pretty sure that Stephen's IQ is well over the allowed maximum for Republican debates.

elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I'm pretty sure that Stephen's IQ, even when he's sleep deprived after embarking on a month-long mescaline binge, is well over the allowed maximum for Republican debates.

Fixed.

WhatTheHeck January 13, 2012 at 11:43 am

He's the kind of president whose cabinet will be filled with China and other bits of crockery.

Chet Kincaid January 13, 2012 at 11:44 am

Lazybones! If I wanted the blow-by-blow of what Stewart and Colbert said last night, I could just go to the water cooler. They're supposed to be stealing from Wonkette, not the other way around!

anniegetyerfun January 13, 2012 at 11:44 am

He can explore anything inside my pants.

hagajim January 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

Seriously though – is Colbert's candidacy any more of a farce than that of the Herminator?

PsycWench January 13, 2012 at 11:49 am

Or the Donald? Remember when everyone was getting wingnut erections at the thought of Donald Trump in the White House?

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 11:54 am

Or even those of Perry or Bachmann (although unlike Colbert and Cain those were unintentional jokes).

ManchuCandidate January 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

Only difference is that they were serious.

CapeClod January 13, 2012 at 11:46 am

Hey, thanks Citizens United. Money isn't just speech. Its also comedy.

anniegetyerfun January 13, 2012 at 11:55 am

Greenbacks is people!

LesBontemps January 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

Money is people, too, my friend.

ManchuCandidate January 13, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Thank you law of unintended consequences.

Geminisunmars January 13, 2012 at 12:14 pm

The wingnuts will see this as collateral damage.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Unintended? Really?

elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 11:48 am

Has suitcase full of unmarked bills? Check, check, and check.

/shamelessly plagiarized from my comment on the Rick Perry post

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 11:48 am

I'm astounded that Steven Colbert's grand exercise in Culture-Jamming has gone this far and been so wildly successful. Conservatives really don't "get" Satire, do they?

Steven Colbert/Pat Paulson 2012!

proudgrampa January 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

"Conservatives really don't "get" Satire, do they?"

My understanding is that there is a significant percentage of his audience that takes Colbert seriously.

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Still? I'm sure it was damned near 100% of the Cons at first, but they have to be catching on by now. Don't they?

MzNicky January 13, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Colbert testifying before a Congressional subcommittee about migrant workers was astounding. The Repugnicants had no idea who he was or what to make of him. It was classic. Almost as good as the spanking he gave the media at the WH Press Club dinner that time.

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

But The Half-Hour News Hour managed to last two whole episodes!

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Res ipsa loquitor.

GunToting[Redacted] January 13, 2012 at 12:29 pm

A whole hour of half-hour news hour? This shit writes itself.

user-of-owls January 13, 2012 at 11:48 am

Seriously, Mr. Colbert, you might want to show a little more ambition than trying to be able to write, "I Beat The Bloviating Betty Who Beat The Batshit Broad" on your mausoleum.

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 11:50 am

Thank You! I'll bring the Tikis, Rum and Off-Color Humor.

freakishlywrong January 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

He's the world's greatest monster. Of brilliant satire.

larryfinexx January 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

I hope some Marines pee on Colbert.

ManchuCandidate January 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

Awww poor troll has a sad.

SexySmurf January 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Maybe he just has a very specific fetish?

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 12:21 pm

This has got to be one of the lamest trolls Wonkette has ever had.

MissTaken January 13, 2012 at 12:31 pm

What? You don't find "him" funny? On the Christie thread "he" made reference to Christie's weight, because it's high! Get it? Christie is fat! Ha…that's a knee slapper right there!

Now marines should pee on Colbert! ha!

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Some trolls can be funny, like the crazy conspiracy theory one we've had a few visits from who claimed most commenters are NSA robots. This though is just stupid.

MissTaken January 13, 2012 at 12:56 pm

That troll was awesome. I was sad when it left and took it's crazy conspiracy theories with it. They were fun to play with.

fuflans January 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm

nadine?

MzNicky January 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm

troll needs to piss off. Ha ha, get it? "piss" off! I crack myself up sometimes.

Beowoof January 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

He would the most appealing of the republican field even in character.

ManchuCandidate January 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

Also the most intelligent.

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Also, the most prepared, most articulate and the best grasp on the issues of the day.

Hilarious, in an appallingly sad way, isn't it?

jus_wonderin January 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

Is there a Secretary of Foreign Affairs? Affairs are cool if one can keep them on the hush-hush.

LesBontemps January 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Aahhnold is already tapped for Secretary of Domestic Affairs.

Barb January 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm

What is a good administration for if you can't have secrets and sex scandals? You're IN!

spinozasgod January 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

He is the only candidate willing to talk about the number one REAL problem in America…..BEARS!!!

LesBontemps January 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Soulless killing machines!

weejee January 13, 2012 at 12:12 pm

And archenemy of the Packers.

jus_wonderin January 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Explore A Tori? Is that a new Spelling reality show?

teebob2000 January 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

OT but every time I see that "Iced Tea Shocker" sidebar ad, the pitcher of tea looks out of my peripheral vision like it's a brown woman's very nice round backside with her hand on her hip very sassy-like.

Damn, I need to get laid.

LesBontemps January 13, 2012 at 12:14 pm

You mean it's not?

Geminisunmars January 13, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Thank g-d I'm not the only one. Thought I was turning lesbo. Hmmm. Maybe I still will.

teebob2000 January 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I'll give you something up for that, and it ain't a thumb.

DonnyKerabotsos January 13, 2012 at 12:06 pm

But does Wolf Blitzer admire him?

proudgrampa January 13, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Well, fersure. Colbert is the only Republican I'd vote for.

Mort_Sinclair January 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Colbert is a deeper thinker in his sleep than all the GOP candidates combined.

MissTaken January 13, 2012 at 12:12 pm

But, but Newt's a PhD!

flamingpdog January 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

In his case, Phony Dumbass.

Dashboard Buddha January 13, 2012 at 12:36 pm

He dreams the dreams for children who cannot.

MissTaken January 13, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I love it when the smart kids outdo the dumb kids at their own antics.

thefrontpage January 13, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Here's today's exclusive exerpt from "The Bidens," an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at the lives of Joe and Jill Biden at the Vice President's Office and the Vice President's House. "The Bidens," by Bob Steinwood, is scheduled to be released on Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2012, by Political Press, Washington, D.C., and the hardcover book is 496 pages, with a foreward by Rahm Emanuel, and with an initial cost of $29.95.

thefrontpage January 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Here's today's selection from "The Bidens:"

The downstairs rooms at the Vice President's House were quite crowded for the Bidens' annual crazy Halloween party, which attracted all sorts of people from the political, business, entertainment, gay and lesbian, Hispanic and adult entertainment industry communities. At this particular party in 2010, Ron Jeremy, Jenna Jamison, Betty White, Mary Tyler Moore, Reese Witherspoon, Mark Foley, Don Sherwood, Larry Craig, John Kerry, several high-ranking members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the Army and Navy secretaries, Larry Sabato, Mike O'Meara, Dave Elliott, Carol Channing, Jerry Lewis, Abe Vigoda, Eric Sheiffer, several House Members, and Liza Minnelli were all there. Rahm Emanuel was the guest of honor, and he came dressed like Eliot Ness in "The Untouchables."

thefrontpage January 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Joe and Jill were great hosts, and, having sent the Secret Service home for the night, they handled everything expertly, including taking care of coats, judging costumes, filling the apple-bobbing pan, keeping the liquor slide ice things stocked with vodka and tequlia, bartending, and making sure Wolfgang Puck was keeping a steady supply of deep-fried Oreos and pigs-in-a-blanket coming. The candy was donated by the Mars family, a longtime friend of the Bidens.

"Honey, I can't believe Larry Craig and Mark Foley hit it off so well together! I think they're downstairs in the Chaney Dungeon!" Jill remarked to Joe about 11:30 p.m. "What's your favorite costume?'

Joe looked around the party. There were about 300 people there–and so many great costumes! He noticed Carol Channing, who came dressed as Liza Minnelli. That was definately high on the list. But his favorite had to be Rep. Jerry Lewis, who came dressed as the entertainer Jerry Lewis.

thefrontpage January 13, 2012 at 12:14 pm

"Lewis as Lewis is my favorite!" Joe said. Jill agreed. "Yes, honey, that is quite the costume!" she exclaimed. "Please excuse me–I have to refill the tequlia and vodka at that ice slide thing in the garden."

Later, Joe and Jill retired upstairs to go to sleep about 2 a.m. They did not partipate in the "keys party" in which everyone swapped wives and partners! "Those guys!" Joe said after Kerry passed around a wicker basket for everyone's keys. "They're so retro!"

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Brietbart?

fuflans January 13, 2012 at 1:12 pm

i don't think any of this is true.

CapnFatback January 13, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Wow! You should start a blog! You're a regular Hildy Johnson!

e_z January 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm

When's the book tour?

When do the Pseudo Psychos begin to bitch that the Cobert/Stewart Rally on the Mall was not really the non partisian event advertised but actually an illegal campaign event using undeclared monies?

GunToting[Redacted] January 13, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Um, is the Joe Biden book series of posts above trolling, ads, or brilliant satire?

fuflans January 13, 2012 at 1:14 pm

worthly wokette skum

DahBoner January 13, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Steven Colbert 2012–Because He's Just as Real as Matlock

FakaktaSouth January 13, 2012 at 12:35 pm

The thing that I love so much about Stephen Colbert, besides his being SOUTHERN AND SMART at the same time, is that by being both of these, he is so beautifully adept at perfect mockery. It is so wonderful to see a man so quick, so smart and so cutting by emulating what those of us considered "other" to the norm down here live with every single day. He knows exactly what to say off the cuff, because he heard it ALL the time, and he is using this experience for the good of us all. Love.

sati_demise January 13, 2012 at 1:54 pm

He also teaches Sunday School at church. I would love to be in that class, no doubt. And I am agnostic

FakaktaSouth January 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

"I TEACH Sunday School Motherfucker" – my favorite SC quote EVER.

VaWyo January 13, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I wish I was Charlene.

iburl January 13, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Hooray the great alt-text Wonkette-Colbert schism has ended! Long live King Colbert and Queen Wonkette!

fuflans January 13, 2012 at 1:12 pm

what if he wins?

DahBoner January 13, 2012 at 4:07 pm

"And according to a South Carolina news web site, the Palmetto Public Record, the super PAC is also reportedly “negotiating a substantial media buy in the Columbia market."

What would be really cool would be if they could negotiate a media buy in the Colombia (with an O) market…

QUE PENA, ESE LOCO SOLO QUIERE LUCAS….

PuglyDoRight January 13, 2012 at 4:11 pm

After watching the segment, viewers now know exactly how ridiculous SuperPac rules are….just don't "coordinate"! If only CNN could explain the legalities so easily.

ttommyunger January 13, 2012 at 5:38 pm

He's got my vote every chance I may get for any office he runs for, period.

BZ1 January 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Colbert/Stewart 2012 for either party

Bonghits4Jesus January 13, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Colbert got that referendum wrong. It should be, "Are people people, or are only corporations people?"

WinterOuthouse January 14, 2012 at 12:05 am

Colbert approaching super hero status

OC_Surf_Serf January 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

…and, yes, that is code for a circle jerk.

FlownOver January 13, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Eye of the Tiger!

FlownOver January 13, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Edit of the Year! I bow before your awesome blue pencil!

Urban_Achiever January 13, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Tail of the Donkey!

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm

You never know, she? might show up again and bring the funny. I see from the profile that troll is also bringing the crazy to Breitbart; seeing one brand of crazy going against another is fun.

user-of-owls January 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Lay of the land.

donner_froh January 13, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Three 6 Mafia!

user-of-owls January 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"Well ok, then, Mr. [peers over glasses] Queer. If you'll just have your manservant park that wheelbarrow of bullion over by that desk, I'll go print up your confirmation papers and you can be on your way to the Presidential Bathhouse. Won't take but a minute."

Dashboard Buddha January 14, 2012 at 9:24 am

Yay! I'm going to go out and buy a boat and name it the Cutty Snark

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: