Santorum Calls Romney ‘Just a Paler Shade of What We Have’

  gaffing around

Rick Santorum, down in South Carolina with the rest of the troupe, decided Thursday afternoon to lump Mitt Romney’s proposed policies in with President Obama, further confusing the capitalism debate to the point that it now sounds like an LSAT question with no real answer. In the process, he, albeit not necessarily consciously, decided to call Romney “just a paler shade” of the President. Whoooops.

The candidate, according to The Caucus,

urged voters to dismiss the conventional wisdom that Mitt Romney has an upper hand in the nominating contest. He said the party can win back the White House only by offering a “clear contrast” with President Obama. “We need contrasts,” Mr. Santorum said, “not just a paler shade of what we have.”

According to the latest poll released by Insider Advantage Thursday, Santorum is polling at 14 percent in South Carolina, behind Gingrich at 21 percent and Romney at 23 percent, so as a somewhat viable contender, he has every right to be committing verbal gaffes.

But in all/some seriousness, there’s a big chunk of evangelicals in this country who have “yet to coalesce” (that phrase being essentially its own Republican candidate at this point) around a particular candidate, and some influentials in that sphere think it should be Santorum. Evangelical leaders are actually planning to meet in Texas this weekend to figure things out.

 
Related video

Confusion remains, however, because what even is Santorum, religiously? An article called “Is Rick Santorum A Catholic or an Evangelical? Yes.” says it all. [The Caucus]

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About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

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181 comments

      1. SorosBot

        I was very surprised to find they were actually a bunch of British white guys; that song really sounds like it's sung by a black dude.

          1. Tundra Grifter

            CK:

            I think this was their label. Sorry – I don't know how to post links here. Google "Phil L.A. of Soul" and you'll see the classic fish skeleton label on many 45's.

          2. PalinzADummy

            To post a link, type the left angle bracket, followed by the letter "a," followed by a space followed by the letters "href" followed by the equals sign followed by open quotes. Paste the link immediately after the open_quote, then close the quote and enter the right angle bracket, followed by the word which will embody the link. Close the HTML by entering the left angle bracket after the word, followed by a backslash, the letter "a," and the right angle bracket. Thus, (a href="LINKYTEXTY")LINKWORD(/a), except you replace the parentheses with the angle brackets.

        1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Had my first dance with my first girl friend to "Whiter Shade of Pale." God, I'm a geek.

        2. tcaalaw

          I was very surprised to find they were actually a bunch of British white guys; that song really sounds like it's sung by a black dude.

          … the hell??? Have you had your hearing checked?

    1. __kth__

      Also what a reporter turns when her interviewee breaks out, with little forewarning, a reference to man-on-dog sex.

    2. Come here a minute

      Mitt skips the light fandago! Sixteen vestal virgins? The Mooslims have the Mormons beat by 56!

  1. neiltheblaze

    With Rick it's impossible to know where "brain fart " ends and "premeditated dog whistle" begins.

        1. Loaded_Pants

          Huh, I had forgotten about that.
          I do recall being amazed at Bill Frist making a "diagnoses" of Terri & saying that she wasn't in a vegetative state based on yrs-old video footage of her. That man was a medical genius, wasn't he?

          1. Mort_Sinclair

            Your astute observation of the small synaptic gap between "brain fart" and "premediated dog whistle" is priceless. Entirely quotable.

  2. Baconzgood

    Smart move. Being a racist never lost you votes in S.C. except with blacks. But, if that new voter law passes we won't have to worry about blacks voting…smart move.

    1. SorosBot

      Luckily, unlike the other states with the Voter ID bullshit, under the Voting Rights Act changes to South Carolina's voting laws need to be approved by the Justice Department, and they've decided to block it.

    1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

      As trolls go, that one was pretty cleverly constructed to embed the insane/obscene part at the end of a preface that seemed appropriate.

      Who says craftsmanship is a lost art?

      1. C_R_Eature

        Well, so I'm driving to work this morning listening to "Washington Journal" because it's just what I do sometimes and an older, well spoken gentleman calls and immediately begins berating CSPAN for allowing this spate of crude and obscene calls of late. CSPAN host apologizes, says they try to screen calls carefully but they operate without a delay and they just do what they can. Caller is mollified, goes into an excellent analysis of the voting rationale of the New Hampshire voter's expectations vis-a-vis Romney's philosophy and ends with "However most of those people were only voting for Romney because he has a Big Penis." *CLICK*

        I was laughing so hard I cried and I had to pull over, thankfully was not drinking coffee at that moment. It was the best set-up I ever heard and it totally got me. Zero for Two for CSPAN, in as many days.

        1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

          I'll assume that would be the last one in this series?

          Absolutely feckin' brilliant! I mean, I'd never vote for Romney anyway, of course, not simply because of his economic policies, but also because I just don't trust him. Even so, I must say that I do have a particularly sizable penis.

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      those Morons DO seem to brown up pretty well in the sun, have you seen Huntsman, hell his tan looks like it's sprayed on with permanent marker (maybe there's some *colored* folk in their Moron ancestry after all?)

  3. Callyson

    Santorum is polling at 14 percent in South Carolina, behind Gingrich at 21 percent and Romney at 23 percent
    Oh, the headlines…
    Santorum is Running Behind
    Santorum is Fading But Not Gone
    Santorum is Sticking To It
    Santorum is Persistent

  4. SexySmurf

    Great strategy, Ricky. If there's one thing that Republican voters can't stand it's a rich male who's too white.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Wm. Upski Wimsatt wrote the definitive wannabe gangsta apologia, "We use words like 'mackadocious'". I don't think Mitt does, though. So, not a wigger.

  5. ThundercatHo

    I need to pick out a new paint, at first I was thinking blah, but now maybe I'll go with santorum.

  6. Baconzgood

    It amazes me that people know him. In PA he is our sheriff Joe, George Wallace, AHHHHHHHHHHGGHHGHGHGH!!! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE REST!!! He's a bad person. Very bad. The fact that he is this high up for the running shows to me how much of a shambles the tea party made the GOP. You know there was once a time that a republican cared in the state of PA. Heinz was his name..he cared. Ya' know when I was just of voting age I voted for him because the argument was "Yeah…He's too fucking rich to be bribed…..And he cares about people". I still think to this day, Heinz was being groomed for the 96 or 2000 election….FUCKING AIR ACCIDENTS!

    (this comment was 100% snark free)

    1. SorosBot

      If Heinz had lived into the 2000s he'd be a RINO and probably been primaried out of office. And I remember that accident, it was when I was in High School and it was both weird and tragic; a plane crashed into a helicopter (can't remember which he was on) and then fell on a school playground during recess, killing several children as well.

      1. Baconzgood

        I know. I grew up by the County Air Port in PGH. Very weird. Because both were low flying (and slow flying) air craft. No ATC would have that happen over a grammer school. It was odd. I'm not a parinoid weirdo but *pulls out my Glenn Beck chalk board* Look how Worhall was from PGH and painted MAO and Cambell's soup cans in the same style….Now look over here at these fluffy kittens playing cricket with George Sorros….Now here is where it gets "DEEP" with NORRAD and ACORN….

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Oh, Santorum probably wasn't meaning anything untoward by saying Romney was just a paler version of President Obama, right? I mean, he wouldn't go on to compare himself to some notorious racist or anything practically in the same breath, would he? Oh, look:

    “Certainly Strom Thurmond did a whole lot as a senator from South Carolina,” Mr. Santorum said, drawing a comparison to his votes and those of Mr. Thurmond…

    Well I'm sure if we listen to Rick Santorum we won't have any of those problems that we're going to have.

  8. CommieLibunatic

    Can someone just yell "GRAAAAAAA NEGRO IN THE WHITE HOUSE BLALALARLAAAAAAARRRG" and call it a day?

  9. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    “We need contrasts,” Mr. Santorum said, “not just a paler shade of what we have.”

    I just assumed that Santorum meant that when you fucked Romney up the ass, you got less fecal matter.

  10. Redhead

    "Evangelical leaders are actually planning to meet in Texas this weekend to figure things out. "

    Aren't we overdue for an earthquake? (Pssst, God, ya listening?)

    1. Rotundo_

      If I thought it would do anything I would suggest praying for Texas to secede this weekend and all of the good Juh-heeez-zzusss people take it over as a nation/state. Think of the money and aggrevation we would all save.

  11. Schmannnity

    Rick's racial appeals might backfire once South Carolinians figure out that he's an Eyetalian.

    1. snickersnack

      I want to do this guy, or at least see the pic in question:
      "I think the only time I've ever actually taken a picture of my d*ck was from below it, so I could understand what my d*ck looks like from an bug's point of view. Because I'm a scientist."

  12. Chet Kincaid

    Funny he should say that, I thought it was the Italians who think they're a paler shade of blahs. I shall have to consult "Saturday Night Fever" and some Spike Lee movies to get to the bottom of this.

    1. doloras

      Certainly the neofascists of Northern Italy think that about their southern compatriots. "North of Rome is Europe; south of Rome is Africa."

    2. Mort_Sinclair

      Certainly both the blah and the goombah vote are going to have to some hard cogitatin' to do on this one.

  13. poncho_pilot

    i don't know what's going on but if it has something to do with sixteen vestal virgins i'm in.

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      Schmittens is definitely wah. Now, santorum is more "gah". And by that, I don't mean ghey. Just "GAH".

  14. ttommyunger

    Well, this certainly clinches the inbred, mouth-breathing, sister fucking trailer dwelling shit-kicker vote for Rick. Well said, Rick, well said…

  15. Negropolis

    And, Santorum would know being a darker shade of shit than what we have…Jus' sayin', Rick; you're a piece of shit, you wide-hipped, pea-brained gabagool.

  16. elviouslyqueer

    Rick, you are in dire need of getting a lit firecracker shoved up your tight, constipated ass, because that's the only bang you're ever going to get.

    Fuck you also, and by that I mean not now, not ever.

    EQ

  17. bikerlaureate

    He closed his answer with a plea to the Tea Party, declaring: “I’ll keep faith with them and say no earmarks, but I need the Tea Party to keep faith with me. I need them to go out and help me educate the American people if I’m president of the United States about what the problems are in this country that are going to bankrupt this country.”

    Such as… a couple of recent wars and tax cut extensions?

  18. DahBoner

    I know it's been said before:

    When Mitt Romney Came to Town, there was nothing but Santorum Left Behind

  19. Preacher_Griz

    I for one am willing to overlook Sen Mr Rick Santorum's deficiencies as a not-true Conservative Christian if he continues to prove he is willing to call a spade a spade.

    Because let's face it. Although we are clearly not racists, it is just as clear that negroes lack the proper equipment to be President. That is just a fact. And this allahbama fellow is even worse because he isn't even well-spoken, like that Bryant Gumble fellow.

  20. Slim_Pickins

    So he is saying Manning has a point, I still don't understand how the porter got naming rights, that usually takes a BIG cash donation.

  21. Slim_Pickins

    So he is saying Manning has a point. I still don't understand how the porter got naming rights, that usually takes a BIG cash donation.

      1. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

        I'm just glad that this is being fought out through wordplay and not violence. People should understand that the penis mightier than the sword.

Comments are closed.